I Don't Know About That - ATM Episode 4 - DC Plane Crash, Bianca Censori, UGGs, Banning Knives

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

This week on ATM Jim and Amos break down Trump's claim that DEI and dwarves were behind the DC plane crash. They also discuss Bianca Censori's Grammy attire, America owning UGGs, baseball v cricket, and Idris Elba's solution on how to stop stabbings in the UK. SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: https://www.jimjefferies.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies FB: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/ Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

Hello and welcome to At This Moment with me Jim Joffre. He's an aimless girl. We have moved the show now to Wednesdays because our busy schedule. We're three episodes in, we're already fucking you around. So from now on the podcast will be coming out on Wednesday. Tell all your friends. There has to be a fan base to have an upset fan base Jim. Yeah, it just started. It'll find its audience. If you're out there, mate, tune in. There's like three people that are into this and many others that have let me know it's not for them. A lot of people don't like you at the moment. At this moment.

At this moment. You're not very popular. Well, actually, you're unpopular for even being associated with me. And isn't that the sign of the times? I'm as unpopular on the internet as the next man but for this particular podcast you're... You wouldn't believe this. They haven't taken a shit. There are people in the world who don't always agree with... Send him some positivity. They don't all agree with each other that are friends. I'm always a big fan of people that are like if you don't a hundred

percent agree with each other how did you guys ever hang out as though that isn't the problem we have in the world today. We've been friends for like 10 years. I made a joke about what happened with the plane. We'll talk about the plane right now. I made a joke about that. So in case you don't live on this planet, there was a plane accident in Washington DC where a helicopter hit a commercial aircraft carrying a whole lot of ice skaters and some others. Now, Donald Trump did come out and give a speech, in the beginning of his speech. I've got something for you here. So a lot of people were wondering how on earth does a military helicopter crash with a commercial airlines flight. And Donald Trump, at this moment where we

looked for some unity and some guidance in the country, he had this theory. Psychiatric disability and dwarfism all qualify for the position of a controller of airplanes pouring into our country. Not dwarfism. A little spot, a little dot on the map, a little runway. A little runway, a little little spot a little man up there in there in the aviation tower unable to touch the buttons or see look look I'm all dwarfs getting work whether it be seasonal Christmas work I've said

it or whether it be being thrown at an AFL party the munchkins in the wicked they've had a good run there hey no this is the problem wicked this is the problem. Wicked, you haven't seen Wicked. Wicked's got no dwarfs. They got rid of all the dwarfs. Did they just minimise them? No, they're just normal people. The Munchkins are just normal folks now. I bet that was Peter Dinklage who put an end to that. It's Dinklage did that. We've also got Hugh Grant

playing an Oompa Loompa, doing dwarf face. That worked. We've taken all the dwarf work away, right? So the dwarfs now can't do air traffic control, they're not allowed to play Oompa Loompas and they're not bloody munchkins right it's never been harder to be a bloody dwarf I like that that Trump really does believe that we've got like two dwarfs on each other's shoulders in a trench coat now this is the thing so he basically said it was diversity hires that caused this accident, right? Now, we don't know who the air traffic controller was.

I'm praying it's not a dwarf Arab lesbian, right? Because if it is, then you know, you don't want to... A Mongolian transgender dwarf is going to give him the win that he doesn't deserve on that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With mental health problems who can't... He doesn't know what a helicopter looks like. Yeah, he was busy cutting. Yeah, yeah.

When I heard it, I thought, well, has he been briefed? No, nothing's come out. It was just a dumb fucking comment at that moment. He should have just said... Not a comment. No, no, no. Ethereal, whatever it is. Look, look, look.

I want Trump to do well and I'm trying to be, I'm trying to have good spirits for this administration this time, because last time I was very negative do well and I'm trying to be, I'm trying to have good spirits for this administration this time because last time I was very negative. So now I'm like- Oh, it's just that that was dog, it was like dog shit because it's like- He started off his speech very good, right? He doesn't do a teleprompter, so he has a bit of paper.

And he does that bit where he goes off on little tangents occasionally. He starts off by going, there's been a terrible accident. It happened at this time of night and a helicopter hit a plane. A lot of people died and then he goes off script a bit and he goes a lot of good people, different people, people who died. Well it's because he has the sheet he's been given to read off about DEI programs. Just not the day to address it. Give it a couple of weeks before

you want to discuss that. People are dead. and then he comes in a few minutes later and then he just goes and now that my speech is done few opinions right he actually said I have opinions yeah I've got opinions on this these are just common sense common sense of being now here's the thing right I I mean I'm sort of in the middle with the whole diversity thing I've been I I I think at certain points you do need to have some workplaces been more diverse so you can have different voices interacting with each other and Different experiences all working together and then for jobs like this. No, I don't think we should be going diverse I we should be going the people who are best at their jobs

He talks about it like these people are scientists playing a chess game in the sky like oh They need the best of the best. Here's the deal, if you don't like diverse air traffic controllers, never travel internationally. Don't travel internationally because all the other countries are as diverse as fuck. Do you think like he's always... I imagine they're all men though. I can't see the Democratic Republic of Congo. But this is my point, the third world countries, third world countries. There's some countries

in Africa, some places in Asia, third world countries where people aren't living very well, right? They still have planes coming in and out of their countries, correct? Yes. Fiji is a wonderful country if you're on the resorts, but the rest of the country is very impoverished. And I've flown in there, and I assumed there was a Fijian sitting behind The thing going like this going you can land correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right So this is nobody dwarfs that they're big people in Forced and have you ever seen a gene but there's no you want it you want to talk diverse

You don't get on one of those transatlantic flights. They're very bad the transatlantic there is diverse now I will say this I I put up the don't I put up a post that said don't travel overseas that's diverse as fuck and No less than five people sent me back the transatlantic joke like it came through So I'm not I'm surprised you didn't put an E on the end of that. Right? The way you talk. What's trans... What? Transpace? No, no, no. Oh no.

Yeah, you're not tricking me. You're not tricking me. Anyway, so the helicopter got told, they said, and I think it was two minutes later. I might be wrong too. I don't know... Listen, I know nothing of the facts of this, which is why, like the president, I'm not giving my opinions. But my opinion, here's my opinion.

My common sense opinion is, as someone who flies every weekend, the fuck is there a military operation going on near a landing plot in one of the busiest cities in America? That is terrifying to me that that's going on. Well, because you need a helicopter to do tactical things over cities. Look, as you know, I had a relative die in a helicopter accident in a training type of thing. So I have a lot of empathy for everybody

who's going through it right now, the families who have lost their loved ones, et cetera. But it does feel to me like okay I believe air traffic control probably fucked up and the helicopter fucked up right yeah they seemed understaffed apparently yes and that's got nothing to do with diversity. I don't know it's got to do with anything. No no no I just feel like that's a thing but as I said all around the world planes are going all the time with very diverse people and I think at this particular situation diversity

probably wasn't the problem. Now in saying that, young Amos, do you remember, see there's not many conversations actually going like this, but do you remember when me and you were on a helicopter flying from South Africa to Zimbabwe together? I do. Yes. Yes. We were talking to a South African pilot. Yes, I won't say what skin color he was but he said something to the effect of you know Ever since the ANC has taken over here Oh, they got rid of all the all of the all of the people working here who had knowledge They were the whites right who had been working in this airport for years But then they fired them because they ANC said they needed to be a more diverse

Yes airport But then they fired them because they ANC said they needed to be a more diverse Yes, airport. Yes, and so they put people in there and I as a helicopter pilot I go coming into land What's the conditions and all I can hear back is? Now this is an exact quote. This is an exact quote. I'm not It was on camera the way that the way that me me and Amos reacted in the back, we were like two purple-headed lesbians who were upset by something. We couldn't have been more shocked. It was the first time I've ever grabbed my chest like this. We were clutching pearls in the back of this thing.

What I'm saying is, they haven't had an accident. I'm sure South Africa's had some. No. Not to that level. No, no, no, not to that level. Not a helicopter hitting a plane like this. But South Africa is the prime example though, if you wanted to be serious about DEI, is that country had apartheid and then they wanted to make good for it. Yes. And there was horrible racist policies and then they took over and then they did try and do this thing where they, you know, they shipped out white people and then the government shipped in ANC supporters, usually who were black and said, you take over the roles and you never want a country that prejudices

anyone. You always want a country that says the best person for the job. Yeah, but in that country they needed to do that. Well, they needed to address the racism, but you still need the best people working. If you're flying, you just want safety no matter what. Yeah, but they haven't had a problem. It may be a dwarf on stilts who's the smartest person for the job. Let the dwarf work, let the black person work, the trans person, just good people. I think this all could have been solved by just

a nice booster seat. Like have they not... They do exist. Bring in a few MyPillows. Remember when we had phone books? Yeah, bring in a phone book and a MyPillow to soften it up so these dwarfs can get us all home safely. I'm sick and tired of these bloody different ethnicity, bloody dwarfs screwing up the aeroplanes. Like imagine if you're a dwarf and you're like a Republican, because there's probably some Republican dwarfs, right? And you're watching it like this, yeah, fuck these diversity hires. And he goes, and people with mental health problems and dwarfism.

You'd be sitting at home and you'd think to yourself, fuck, and the second I jump off this chair, I'm going to be furious. Well, you'd love to know this, Jim. There's a few people who do agree with the DEI policies being slashed, but not about who's in the tower. Awesome. There is a pilot that's been suspended recently. Why?

He was communicating to his co-pilot and didn't realize he was being filmed at the time. Of course he'd be recorded the whole time. In his headset, is it? In his headset, and he was chatting to his copilot about the air hostesses that he notices he has to work with these days, and of the odds of that. I thought I was in Chicago, which was Partyland. After that, it was just the continuous stream of skates and grannies and grandes. I don't give a fuck. I hate 100% of their ass. So, six months I went to the bar three times. In six months, three times.

Once with the granny in the bag, and I wish I had gone. At the very end with two girls, one of them that was probably doable, but we ended up going to the bar and then to the crew in St. Louis. And all these two women wanted to do was one wanted to berate her sister and the other wanted to bitch about her husband Literally for three hours being the FO when that was done 2 30 got back to my room. I'm like why the fuck did I step? Okay, well, there's a transmitting bill watch what you're saying That guy who went who ever transmitting what's what you're saying. That was a dwarf.

That was a dwarf all day. That was a dwarf all day. Yeah, look, look, look. Can we talk about the DI of that? Because that's the first DI. Okay, that's... Air hostesses used to be all babes. That's what these guys are talking about.

I used to do a routine about this many years ago, which is like, remember when you see a movie like Catch Me If You Can, and it's the 1960s and the infancy of air travel as we know it now right and all the women had to be single they had to be good-looking they had to wear like a pillbox hat they had to have their hems a certain way their waist with checked and lots of stuff right all those women haven't retired right that's why you get like I once was on a plane and the and the air stewardesses with that by the way first of all That guy's not a good dude

The only bit of his that I thought was funny is this is just a degenerate man who's gone out to the bars at 2 30 thinking he's gonna Have a root with a woman and then she pitches about a husband and we've all been there They reckon that pilots and air stewardesses, that's the number one cheating job on the planet, right? Because they're in different towns, they travel together, they stay in the same hotel, hotels, hotels, different town back again, always on the road, right?

Like us, we go on the road, but just with each other, we don't meet anybody. We end up most nights in one of your rooms just with a really bad pizza or taco bell. Yeah and a whole lot of weed. Yeah. Anywho so it is true the air stewardess is very old. I one time was on a flight and the air stewardess came in and she I'm telling you late 70s? Like this is, I know the cabin does something to the skin, but this lady was too old to be working in any occupation, right? Maybe president, she could do president, right? Anyway, so she stumbles on the plane and then she's like, well would you like

to drink? And I said, oh have a coke, and another guy said he'll have a wine and another person said they'll have a water another person said they have it and there was eight of us in in business class right and then she came out my tray and she wobbled out there and she handed us all our drinks and we all looked at each other and didn't say a fucking word waited till she left and we all swapped our drinks because she gave them to the wrong people. We were like let's not bother her, let her sit down, she's gonna have a long flight. It's not like the Australian High Court where it's a 75 cutoff which they might want to do. Okay as for the gays being air stewardess, air stewards, that's been a long time, I think that

this guy's been missing a beat right? He hasn't looked back there for a while. He's only found out that they're gay men, that they're up there. Although you and I had the most hetero guy on Southwest. This guy on Southwest, this bloke could coach you, coach your little league team and yell at kids like he had that attitude about him. He was like, you want a peanuts man? Yeah. Here you go, I'll give you two packs.

And he's like, if you can't fit your bag, if you can't fit your bag up in the overhead compartment, push it in there go go put it in sideways Don't put it in long ways We only got a fair way to go or leave it on there on the bridge and you get your bag at your destination I have to say he was the best. I want to say something about my brother-in-law quickly This is completely unrelated, but it is it is planes. I tell you about my brother-in-law quickly. This is completely unrelated, but it is it is planes. I tell you what my brother-in-law did this week. Your brother-in-law? My brother-in-law. Well, you're OK. OK. I was about to say you've got a brother.

And I was like, well, is he an air steward? No, my brother-in-law, he's so I was on the phone to him the whole week. Your brother's got a little bit of he's like a train spotter. He's a trains guy, but a plane guy. Now, I kept calling him because he is a qualified pilot. He worked for a plane maintenance company and I was asking him all week about this crash. And he had his thoughts on where the plane should have gone and he got into details about everything. And then I said, what are you up to? And he goes, I'm going to be in LA if you're there.

I said, no, I'm in Edmonton on Saturday. And he goes, ah, it's a shame. I'm going to be in LA because I'm going to Australia. And I said, no, I'm in Edmonton on Saturday. And he goes, ah, it's a shame. I'm going to be in LA because I'm going to Australia. And I said, what are you doing in Australia? And he goes, well, I'm just flying there and turning around. One of my favorite American airlines planes that I've flown many times, one of my favorite Boeing's is being retired. And I just, I wanted to fly in it one more time. So I booked a flight, which is 15 hours.

He goes, I'm flying. And then the pilot, I'm going to have a walk through and he's gonna show me parts The engines and a bunch of us plane lovers are going to watch it and then be given a piece of it before it's Decommissioned and then we turn around and go home Did you know that people do this? Yeah, no, no, there's people with mental illness He's like I get a certificate signed by the pilot that I was there on its last flight of the 737 max or whatever it is And also they all look the same. They're just a fucking tube the pilot that I was there on its last flight on the 737 Max or whatever it is.

And also they all look the same they're just a fucking tube man. It's a metal tube. There's nothing to them inside. And I have to look at it like Attica and be like your brother's off here. I understand if you're like I've got an opportunity to be on a fighter jet. I've got an opportunity to be on a Hercules. Yeah well it's not like the pilot. I've got an opportunity to be on a Chinook like Yeah, it's not like the pilot... I've got an opportunity to be on a Chinook, like different things, but a commercial...

The pilot isn't gonna go, hey folks, just to let you know this plane's been decommissioned, so before we land in Sydney we're just gonna go for the loop-de-loop, see what happens, just really throttle it. We're gonna do a barrel roll. It's the same flight, except it's a sh... by the fact that it's being decommissioned, it is a shittier plane. Yeah, you're willingly choosing to be in a shittier plane so you get like a life jacket from underneath. They're not going to be improving the seats or anything. It's like have you ever been to a restaurant when it's on its last week and the waiter's just like, what do you want? We're putting no effort in. We're not washing the cutlery. We're seriously just using all the stock left in the fridge. Let's get into

the next topic. Because it was a, it was a, like the thing was, it was a super grim one and it was handled poorly and Trump was bad at it and you go, that's, let's not have that. On a lighter note, let's bring up the Grammys and any, the only thing that mattered at the Grammys. Kanye West's wife on the red carpet. Can we have the picture up here now? It seems to be just put it there we go. There she is. It took me a bit to realize she has a slip on there.

Yeah she has a slip on and easy access slip in from the looks of it. Hell of a body. Gotta give her a compliment. Young girl from Melbourne Australia doing Aussies proud. Oh well. But I gotta say her a compliment. A young girl from Melbourne, Australia, doing Ozzy's Proud. But I gotta say... Proud? Yeah. Fuck it, the body's mint. The body's mint. Anyway, the thing is my father has Instagram.

He doesn't have anything else on the internet and this has broken him. He found this picture and he goes, if you're seeing the red carpet with the black man and the woman, But you can see that you can see the puss and everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can see the whole life You can see the whole she's now she's a What I would say she's an Italian Melbourne girl, right? So I I grew up in I've said on the show every episode I grew up in world culture And so to look at this can you imagine like when Like when you would go out with a WOG chick, her dad, if you picked up an ethnic girl and you were taking her out,

if she had a knee out, he's like, what are you doing you slug, get upstairs. Tula, put some pants on. We could, what do you think's gonna happen tonight? You think you're living like that? Somewhere, this guy is in Melbourne and his wife, the mother's gone, Bianca's in the news and he's had to look at her literally. The nightmare of any ethnic parent, full tits out.

Yeah. The fanny. It's like that is suicide stuff for an Italian dad. Could you imagine his world? Do you reckon Trump called Kanye out? He's drinking Cianotto somewhere in Carlton and all these Italian dads are like your daughter's a slut Tony. Do you reckon the red carpet interviews were like this and and who are you wearing? Yeah, what husband? Who are you wearing? That's what you know for all these. This is a dress called shame I do like Kanye is the straightest fashion designer ever because for so long women's fashion was made by gay men and now we have a famous male

fashion designer and he's like how about this. He tits her out and we can see the puss. Now did she like like you see I've been to award shows before everyone talks to each other before you go in. I don't think she talks. Well I can't tell you how but I've met two of her relatives. Bianca Sansora? Yeah I've met two of her relatives. I'll tell you a fair. Do they look similar? I met them, I can tell you. They're contestants on the 1% show. You're shitting me. Yeah, yeah. A couple of our relatives. They're on Channel 7 show. How do they bring that up?

They're like, we have a famous relative. Are you familiar with the song, Stronger by Kanye West? That dude's rooting our sister. I don't know why they're doing so. It was like cousins or something like that. They're very nice people. Cousins, yeah. They're very nice people. Someone from Italy is like, that's my cousin.

My cousin. My cousin's the chick that Kanye West is making walk naked everywhere to promote his album. Did you see what he tweeted about Kamala Harris this week? My wife said to me when she saw the photo, she said, do you think her body's nice? And I'm like, I do. Yeah do yeah yeah I do kind of got you like like what are you trying to do to me there's nothing you can say about that because if you go nah it's not for me my girlfriend would say what can you just stop picking apart women's bodies and if I said it's lovely she'd go so you want me to have bigger tits yeah I think I think I think they look really I think

your body looks really good you've. Normally you could get away by saying it's a lovely dress she's wearing, but in this case... No. And hey, more credit to it, the vagina looks very compact. There wasn't anything hanging out. There was nothing in the wind. Good for her. That's really nice of you, Jim.

Yeah, yeah. It would look like a nice little line. So if you were doing, what's her name, Joan Rivers Fashion Police, why don't you look down the barrel and give a review of the outfit you got. I think the cut was good, I think the form was nice, the colour was fantastic. Really popped. Well the colour is her skin. Yeah, yeah, really popped.

Oh, he's got preferences. Really? That's an Italian girl. I thought that was very forward thinking diversity. That's an old Australian guy. What do you mean? I've never been racist. I've fucked an Italian. That used to be so funny about when I was a kid in Australia, like Greeks and Italians were like sort of our most foreign people growing up.

You know what I mean? And you're just like, this Italian girl, you know, they're like, same as... Well, wogs in Australia forever like identified with hip hop. Like they used to love the NWA stuff and we'd wear tracksuits as well. Although I have to say this, did black people steal the tracksuits from Italians? I think they did. I think they appropriated like Italian gangster culture did black people steal tracksuits from yeah like the rap aesthetic the Italian mafia

yeah like the Italian godfather aesthetic like I think they did tracksuits first because they call in each other Scarface and I'm the Don I think I think where tracksuits originated was sports and I think the Don. I think where track suits originated was sports and I think the Italian Mafia stole them from that. Yeah, kappa. Yeah, it was just it was just fat Italians who weren't working out, it was just like and then they started calling them leisure suits. Yeah, that's where they took them. The term track comes from track and field and that's where it came from to begin with. I'm just saying that.

Now, there's a lot more black people in track and field than Italians. So I would say it's gone the other way. No, I'm saying that they borrowed from Italian people. OK. And that's why my people, the Australian Wogs, we've always had a kinship with black people. Because same clothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I'd like to point out. Let me get there. That's why my people, the Australian Wogs, we've always had a kinship with black people,

because same clothing, and now I'd like to break that. Let me get there. When black people meet you, they're like one of us. Well of course they are, because I'm Balkan. Balkan? Yeah, I'm a pro-app. You're Balkan up. My line, look at this head.

Juravich is my last name. Now only your mum is such a grumpy person mate. Your big ass round head squirting out of her fucking cunt mate. That would have made anyone moody. Mate I say to any black person around the country, as far as the whites go, they like Balkans the most and I'll tell you why. Don Chich. Where have you come from?

Don Chich. Yo Kich. We're now the best at basketball. We have such a kinship that we're dominating the sport. We're the only whites that can play the sport. And you think that makes black people like you more that you're good at basketball? They'll talk to me like, oh, what's your background?

And I go, I'm from the Balkans. And they'll be like, what's that? And I go, you know, Don Cic and Jokic? Now, neither of them are Croatian, but big Zub. Big, big Zub. Ivica Zubac. Yeah. So we're dominating the basketball

and that's why I was trying to link it to the next story of the week, which was that Dončić has come to LA in one of the all time shocking trades. Biggest trades of all time. Now I'm not a basketball guy, I watch it, I play in a fantasy basketball league because your son got me into it.

What do you think of this trade? Because people say it's the worst of all time. The worst for who? Of all time. The worst? For who? For who? The Mavericks? Since Brittany Greiner and Joe Biden negotiated that deal out of Russia. I tell you what, I'm not fucking... I tell you what, what did we give Brittany Greiner for?

The merchant of death? The merchant of death. On paper it's a great trade. The merchant of death for Brittany Greiner? Fuck me. That being said, what are the stats on the Merchant of Death since release? I heard his form slumped. I'll tell you what.

Has he been in the Ukraine doing well? So we have a friend who's Canadian, and I said, oh that poor girl, bloody shit, oh she had a bit of weed on her, and now she's locked up in a fucking, you know, Moscow prison and all that type of stuff, and it's sad that, you know, women's basketball doesn't earn her enough money.

So she has to go play her off seasons out in Russia. And he goes, what are you talking about? I could have you for it. What are you talking about? She's not playing there for money. She's playing there for the love of basketball. And I said said why doesn't LeBron play in the offseason for the love of basketball like that right so

to this day me and my wife for like whenever we like get upset with each other we go for the love of basketball for the love of it for the love of basketball what are you talking about which brings us to you're in Canada now when Canada is now playing America in any sporting event, now we as foreigners, I always find it silly that North Americans have to sing the national anthem before every sporting event. It's an unnecessary thing. It's something you should only really do for international sports.

Like when you go to the baseball, it's two American teams. You like it? Well, because as a tourist, I think if you're a foreigner, you come to the baseball, it's two American teams. You like it? Well as a because as a tourist I think if you're a foreigner you come to America you get off on well That the anthem and then the flyover Here's the thing right? It's a good song. That's that's one of the straight advanced Australia fair. It's not a good song, right? God save the Queen's so so song right but but Star spangled banner is a banger of a tune right? It's got little peaks and troughs and it and and its singers can really sing the shit out of the song.

I don't mind that. What I don't... Okay, I do mind it. I don't think you need a national anthem all the time. I think it should be reserved to international sports, but as an American, I respectfully take my hat off and I take it seriously, etc., etc. What I don't like is that in the seventh inning they sing God bless America And they asked me to fucking stand again. You only get one anthem you get one fucking song you get one song

I'm not standing for God bless America. This is a man who went to musical theater. I thought you'd enjoy a public number I love take me out to the ballgame because it's a bit of fun that we can all you know You know what I like about taking the ball game. it's like this is the home and away fans singing together in unison it's a very sweet thing that doesn't exist in any other sports it's a little bit of history but God bless America can first of all get fucking God out of my fucking face right I don't have to be told God this God that fuck off I'm watching sports well a lot of people weren't happy with the US anthem this week. So in Canada. Let me set this up for you. Okay. So I was in Canada on the weekend

in Edmonton. Now I'd been playfully mucking around with the Canadians about the 51st state stuff. My Canadian mates laughing about it. But as the trade war. I'm a big fan of Canada man. Well obviously you know my brother's married to a Canadian. I spend more time in Canada than almost America. I produced a child with a Canadian. But my Edwards and Freds, some of them are quite super conservative Canadians as well, are like hey man Trump's gone too far. This really fucked me off man. Why is he threatening us? We've been there friends for a long time man. Hey bud really really angry looks as angry you know how we've always said when it comes to Canadians that the sweetest people on

earth and then if you push them too far they'll grab a pool cue and beat you to death yes yes that's like they'll get a cue ball and put it in a sock that's how the Canadians feel at the moment they're really fucked off and you could tell that because there was an ice hockey game at the Raptors arena and listen to what happened when they played the American anthem. Sounds like they let a herd of mooses in there. But you feel bad for the young girl because this is her moment to sing this old kiddo. She's just out there practicing and then obviously they're booing what's going on right now with the tariffs.

But this girl looked like she was having a breakdown on the screen. But the tariffs, they lasted a day. They lasted one fucking day. This was Trump's big thing was the tariffs, but this girl looked like she was having a breakdown on the screen. But the tariffs, they lasted a day. They lasted one fucking day. This was Trump's big thing was the tariffs. And it worked. Unfortunately, because they get to bully their friends. So Trudeau caved 1.3 billion. But God, I will say, I think that it has broken some Canadians and they no longer see that American relationship as like guaranteed friends.

America's going down that path like under George W. Bush. Remember when people were like humiliated to be American? What I think a lot of Americans don't realize when we're winning, we're this, America first and all that type of stuff, right? I was living in Britain during the Bush administration and you guys, America wasn't the most popular group of people internationally.. Well I've always laughed when people go oh you know Donald Trump ruined our reputation it's like yes however I don't know who the fuck you guys think you were during the Bush administration. It doesn't take long

for the American people turn on you very quickly. Look as long as you got Disneyland people are coming right people are coming right you've got all the fun things we all want to look everyone everyone grows up with Mickey Mouse and all this type of stuff we all want to look everyone. Everyone grows up with Mickey Mouse and all this type of stuff. We all want to come here. Everybody does. Anyone who says they don't want to come to America, it's full of shit, right? But tourism is going to take a hit. That's my prediction. Tourism is going to drop dramatically in the next four years because of things like tariffs, because now like maybe America, I don't know how it's all going to play out. Maybe America will be winning.

I don't know, but it's not gonna be winning any popularity contests. No, particularly amongst the Commonwealth countries because there is that feeling like, I understand why you're going at Mexico. There's a cartel there. Exactly. But we're fucking Canada.

You're saying that Mexicans are coming over the border and eating dogs and all these different things that you've said, and they're taking jobs and they're over here illegally. And many of those things that you've said and they're taking jobs and they're over here illegally and many of those things that you're saying is completely true right? What do you got against the Canadians? Yeah the Canadian, I think there's like a certain pressure being applied of... Leave the fucking Canadians alone! Join us! That's what they say, join us, but the Canadians will never fucking join anyone but I did have fun this

weekend with my Canadian friends because this trade tariff thing began immediately. And I was with a bunch of Canadians in the West Edmonton Mall and they're like, fuck Trump, man. Fuck America. I'm done with America. And we got a Starbucks when there was a Tim Hortons across the road. And I said, shouldn't you be going over?

Or Tim Hortons is owned by Burger King. And then they, they revealed going over? Tim Hortons is owned by Burger King. And then they revealed Tim Hortons is owned by Burger King, which to me is like, how can you have any national pride when all your assets have been sold off anyway? And this is the problem. What even is what is it to be Australian or Canadian or British when everything is owned by global asset managing companies? What are the tariffs that have been given to Australia?

I don't think we I don't know if we have any tariffs at the moment yet. You know, where it's almost offensive, like nothing doesn't talk about us at all. Well, there'll be some tariffs. There'll be something before we sell our wine or whatever, or the price of Uggs is going to go through the roof. No, they already fucking stole Uggs from us. What? Don't, this is what I'm saying saying man, America's been fucking us. But Australia's economy rides on the back of

a sheep. They trademarked Ugg 10 years ago and Australian companies that use the word Ugg get sued by the American owners Ugg. It's fucked up. So we don't own Ugg anymore? No America bought that out from us in the same way. It's still Australian sheep skin though. Mate I don't know it could be Chinese sheepskin at this point. Oh I wouldn't want to. That's the last time I fucking wear Uggs then. But many countries have... I'll go for their competitors. Emu. They think there's a competitor. Emu. Emu. Bloody they sound more Australian. What I would love for Australia, okay, and you want to talk about a leftist perspective. Australia, to me, should have always nationalized

its minerals or at least put a mega royalty on them so that when people come to take our gold, our oil, our nickel, our gas, they have to pay an extreme amount of money to access it, but enough that it's still competitive, and then we would take all that money, put it into a sovereign wealth fund just like Norway did, and we'd be rich, but instead,

we shell it out for fuck all, and a lot of these big American companies have got rich off the stuff that we as Australians belongs to us which is probably quite a leftist perspective but we do very good at sports we do very good at sports and they put their now they put their shitty fucking see this is the other thing Australians been like I wear Australia we're not America everyone has an NBA. Everyone has an NBA jersey. Everyone has an NFL jersey. They took us over a long time ago. That's why I'm here. Yeah but what's, what's, American sports are good. American sports are good. They're good sports.

I don't like, oh look, I don't like the NFL. I'm not a big American footballer. You got me into the NBA and I think it is shit. I'm sorry, I've tried. Right. It's boring. Then you're not into it. I'm not into it. You said American sports are good. I'm just saying I'm not. What about baseball? You like baseball? Cr it's boring. Then you're not into it. No, I'm not into it. But you said American sports are good I'm just saying what about baseball you like baseball Crickets better

Cricket is a more skilled game in a way in a way baseball baseball you have to catch without gloves, right? That's much sparse appear like I went when I still do this day and baseball is my favorite sport but when they go did you see that catch? I'm like, he had a glove. A man's wearing a net. Yeah, it's like, I can show you the same catches of a man diving and catching it with a bare hand, and that's more spectacular.

From like two meters away. Yeah. Not only that, there's too many games. Like, how can you keep up with anything in American sports? There's like 200 basketball games, 300 baseball games. At least the NFL, there's 15. But don't you like that you have something to watch each day? If you're into sport, and I am, it takes your time out.

I've got the Premier League. This is the thing about being in a sports better. Yeah, but see. On sports, this is the other problem. I've lost my life, dude. Like my girlfriend was saying to me the other day, you watch NBA, because I've on sports. This is the other problem I've lost my life dude like my girlfriend was saying to me other day you watch NBA because I've got a fantasy team. Yeah, and I put bets on it. I watched the NFL. I watched college football I watched the EPL. I was the bunda's league football. I like the college for like the Notre Dame Saints because they're Catholics

And you know Catholic pride we stick together. Okay, we got We got Bundesliga. We put the Serie A on. I'm watching League One football. I'm trying to see what Christian Ronaldo is doing in the Saudi League. How's that Saudi League going? Aussie rules football. It's absolutely dog shit. Ronaldo's 40 and he's just banging goals in for fun every week. He's like two a game, whatever. And so you get to a certain point, do you ever sit back and you're like, man, I don't do anything but watch sports, which I love. But what is there more?

But there was something special. What more is there to life? What more are you meant to be doing? There was something special about one game on the weekend and you talk about it all week. My loyalties have fucking torn everywhere. Edmonton Oilers in the ice hockey. I'm working the day of the Super Bowl. I'm working during that day. I'm. I'm working. During that day.

I'm in a writers room the whole time. What do you mean in a writers room? Because I'm working on the Australian TV show. Right, right, right. Well what did you expect them to hold the day off? Like some kind of... It does feel like... Some kind of secular Good Friday? It does feel like they're not doing the right thing by me. It does feel... Like I will stop for half-time entertainment. I will go. That would be a DEI policy if the Australian TV industry went,

we'll give them JIV the day off because Americans celebrate Super Bowl. I've always told you that I'm all for any day off you can get. That's why, like, be careful what you wish for. If you get rid of Martin Luther King Day, haven't they halted all of Black History Month or something yeah but I'll tell you one thing they did get rid of in the slashing that's happening from Doge you know this fucking government efficiency program they're going after USA what the coin and what's happened to Doge coin have to ask my dad and checked on Doge my dad invested in that a few years ago and we lost our house.

That's not a joke. What, we all forgive dad for the truck accident that gave him brain damage. None of this is even made up. This is true. My dad rolled a truck. Amos' father had brain damage from a truck and got him out of a lot of trouble. My dad rolled a truck and then he had severe brain damage for a period. Was it an Australian made truck? It was a bloody Australian made truck.

Better buy it from China. And when he came good he decided to sell our family home and invested in crypto because he was like I've missed every single chance to get rich in this life I've decided I'm going for it so he just went fucking all in on crypto. But that's good right? Well it was bad for a while but all of a sudden he's back. He bought a Harley Davidson he's fucking having. The brain damage may have actually made him make better financial decisions. So is he getting the house back? No the house is gone he sold the house. Is he gonna buy another house? Nah he's just buying toys from Timo. Yeah, alright. It turns out he smoked about 40 a day at work so he's not long for this.

But that's what I love about the modern world is my dad with brain damage made better financial decisions because to get rich now in this age you do have to kind of be mentally unwell to go I'll buy an NFT or a crypto coin. You know? Like that's the best. So what I'm saying is if you want my financial advice, get a really, really bad brain injury and fucking just sports bet and crypto it. Okay, so what should we talk about?

I wanna talk about the USAID. This is my last one. So, my favorite program that got cut, which I don't know if you know this, but the US spent $20 million in Saudi, not, the US spent $20 dollars. Is this something factual? Is this something that you've read on one of your web pages? No this is factual, you can see it on USA. Truth news or something. They spent 20 million on a show called Al An Sim Sim which is Sesame

Street for Iraqis. Okay, alright. So I wanted a... B is for Bob? I wanted a beer. Ernie and Bert... They sleep in separate rooms. Went to prison. They sleep in separate rooms. And Oscar the Grouch is Saddam in the drain, you know what he's down there. Oscar's in a bin constantly saying bring back the bath party. Yeah. They keep him in there. And who can forget... The biggest selling toy is blow me up Elmo. I prefer the falafel monster. I thought I'd play you the theme song. Here we go. This is... The falafel monster. Alam Sim Sim, Alam Sim Sim, Alam Sim Sim, Gahke Sim Sim, the Sessimi Street. They can that. That's one of the cuts that the administration has made. There's no more

Alam Sim Sim funded. Right, so that was something that when we were over there after the war or what after we took down Saddam, they gave them Sessimi Street. Yeah, after the war or what after we took down Saddam they gave him Sesame Street. After the battle of Fallujah. This wasn't like during Saddam like just we got it in under. Yeah no once we took over we destroyed the country and made it a hotbed for terrorism and then on our way out you know when the helicopters were leaving we went we'll give you Sesame Street. Do you know we killed your kids but if any have survived here's a cartoon. Do you know I've been in like Saddam's palace and shit and Uday Hussein's palaces. I've walked through them.

It was pardon? Is this a doing the troops thing? Yeah, I was out there doing the troops and I several times. Thought it might be a sort of a family vacation you got on the cheap. And so I, like, you know, the arms with the two swords where Saddam used to stand and like shoot the gun, I've stood in that spot, right right and everything's just like you think it would be we're just like spray-painted on the walls like Pufuk Saddam a bit of that type of stuff going on, but there was also rooms There's like in Uday's palace that were like ah

This is a trap door where Tigers would come through That's why there's like a window at the top so that like he could watch would come through that's why there's like a window at the top so that like he could watch lions and tigers eat women in front of him. If anyone has the time this week just read up about Uday Hussein. Yeah terrible like terrible human being. You want to talk about nepo babies who are evil. Yeah yeah. Just when he makes Paul McCartney's son look like a saint. Has anyone put those two together? Although it does lead us to our Nepo baby who's also the Cunt of the Week. Nepo baby of the week, Cunt of the week, Cunt of the week. Let's have a theme song. Here we go. We were just...

No Jax is gonna put it in. Oh you've got one. Ah, I'll do it. Cunt of the week, Cunt of the week. See you next Tuesday, Cunt of the week. So you wanted to do a cunt of the week, we flick through. We can't just make it like Donald Trump because he said bad things again. Otherwise this it'll be the same thing every week. Cunt of the week. So cunt of the week outside of Bianca, Sensori and Kanye, there was someone else. Don't you be knocking Bianca. Bianca's not cunt of the week.

She has the cunt of the week. At the cunt of the week. Yeah the same... Her Cunt of the Week. Yeah, Cunt of the Week for the award. I'm giving it to Bianca. Beautiful looking. We saw it, it looked great. Beautiful looking Cunt of the Week. Let's actually do actual vaginas of the week. You don't want to go with your original one? Who's... Jaden Smith. Oh, Jaden Smith. Okay. That's why I brought it up. Is that on the same red carpet? You don't want to go with your original one?

Who's? Jaden Smith! Oh, Jaden Smith. That's why I brought it up, is that right? On the same red carpet? Actually, on the red carpet, Jaden Smith, who is a fucking wanker, he showed up in black house face. Which, by the way, you live in a city that's just lost countless homes to fire.

I thought that's what he did. I thought he was trying to bring awareness to the burnt down houses and I thought that was a burnt down house. Well, that's all I could think was, is this why are you wearing a burnt home to the Grammys on your fucking head? Couldn't be protection from his father slapping him across the head? If we could ever say Will needs to slap someone, how he didn't slap that off? Oh yeah yeah yeah. Because this kid's like one of the, like his sister as

well. He's the worst nepo baby in the fucking land. He afterwards, after when his father physically abused a comedian over fucking nothing, over nothing, he posted, that's how we do it. Fuck you, Jaden Smith, you cunt. He's a fucking worthless fuck he is. And then fucking willow, fucking shaving her head on the SNL, go fuck yourself as well. The whole Smith family, I'm coming to get ya.

And that is the kind of... I don't like them. I don't like them. I think they, for years and years, they fucking banked on the hey, ho ho ho, hey, ho ho ho, getting jiggy with it, ho ho ho ho ho. They're fucking a bunch of frauds, the Smiths. Yeah, the Fresh Prince of Bel Air really painted over the cracks of a really defunct personality. He was all right in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air really painted over the cracks of a really defunct personality. He was alright in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, but then it just, you know, I hope that every

now and again that she just looks at him and just goes, Tupac was a better fuck. Sure she does. Yeah, yeah. No, no, that house that Jaden Smith is wearing, that's also the house that his mum fucked his friends in. That top bedroom, top right hand corner. Okay, let's be subjective. Let's be subjective. What was he trying to achieve? I'm just reading about it now. It says this, okay, for the event, which was attended by his dad and sister Willow, Jaden rocked a custom black Louis Vuitton suit and white button down and black tie, but the most notable part of the ensemble was the all-black custom-made vampire house

headpiece made by Obaldi Transylvania in collaboration with Silvestre Marco that covered most of the head and face, an art piece the brand has since shed light on. It's to bring awareness to Transylvanian history. Ah it's for the it's for the trans movement. I didn't know. Why is he want to bring awareness to Transylvania? He lives in Calabasas for fuck's sake. Why does he get to talk about what's happening in Transylvania? This is just wank to which I mean is it because of the movie? Is there a Hotel Transylvania. This is just wank to which I mean is it because of the movie is there a Hotel Transylvania movie coming? No it's not. And I thought an all black house was just a whole lot of big guys in New Zealand living together. Oh no! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, new ad bros the podcast. Hey bro. There's another story that I wanted to bring up with you Jim.

Yeah. We wanted this podcast, we want to talk about things all around the countries we've lived. At this moment, ask the mouth. The UK has some big problems, there's many, one of them is knife crime, they seem to be pointy pointy stabby stabby all the time. Because they don't have guns. They don't have guns. So you have a stab. So they stab instead. The human impulse to murder remains. Yes. Depends on the utensil. So Idris Ilber is using his platform at the moment to crack down on knife crime and one

thing he suggests is knife control. No. There is a campaign. No, we can't have knife control. Take it from the gun control guy. Actually, would it get me a new routine? Bring it on. Let's listen to Idris Elba discussing knife crime in the UK. So the truth is, is that kitchen knives are perhaps 25% of the knives used in most of the

terrible crimes. That's one of the stats in the films. And those kitchen knives are usually a domestic situation. Okay. So kitchen knives, of course, it's very difficult. They're domestic knife. I do think there is areas of innovation that we can do with kitchen knives. I hate to say it. Not all kitchen knives need to have a point on them. That sounds like a crazy thing to say, but actually would reduce, you know, you can still cut your food without the point on the knife, which is an innovative way to sort of look at it. I can't, no, no. In a country in crisis. I'm sorry, but yeah, let's look at that.

So you want rounded edges and the sharp edge. How about this, Britain? So you can slice, but you can't stab. Britain, you're so aggressive. And some people are going, it's because we have radical Islamists. But you also had Jack the Ripper. You're such a stabby country, you, as the old joke says, turned the word glass into a verb.

Yes. You stab each other with glasses. No, no, that's my joke. Is that yours? Yes, that's my joke. Oh, I thought there was an old pub guy. No, no, no, no, that's my joke. So they stabbed themselves with anything.

We're gonna have to get to a position where these fucks eat a mush and only have spoons. We're gonna just have mushy peas from here on in. Well because of all the stabbings. We just want knives. We want knives for slicing. We can't be trusted. But we don't want the pointy bits no more. Because the pointy bits are the bits causing all the trouble. Because of all the stabbings and what not.

We basically just eat goop now. Where we just sort of, it gets put into a pack and we squeeze it out. Otherwise we kill someone with it. Yeah we could have bangers and mash but the bangers have to be in bite sized pieces. We obviously had to ban cricket as well because cause the bats, there was a lot of out of control bat crime. I just- Knitting needles, they had to go.

Like, you can have like a cleaver, cause a cleaver doesn't have a thing on the end, does it? Okay, is there any point to what he's saying about not having a knife with a point in there? Outside of gutting a fish- I will say that I was robbed in a house that had a curved machete, that didn't with a point in there. Outside of gutting a fish. I will say that I was robbed in a house that had a curved machete that didn't have a point. It was like something you would cut sugar cane with. And a hammer, right, was the things

that I was holding. We need hammer control. Yeah, I want hammers with pointier ends. So they're not as dull and as blunt. Like, like, like, okay, so, like, fucking listen to me. Knives don't kill people. This is, I just wanted you to say it. Knives don't kill people. This is for all my American gun loving friends. Who kills people?

People kill people, not knives. Clip it! Did Jim Jeffries just say people kill people? Well, with guns! It's not a knife problem, it's a mental health problem. I say we get big, I think all kids should take bigger swords. The only way to stop a guy with a knife is a bloke with a knife. A bad guy with a knife needs a good guy with a fucking machete. I tell you where a bad guy with a knife, where he doesn't want to go.

Sushi restaurant. Fucking slice of dice. Also, I think a serrated edge is still dangerous. The point not being on it, they can still slice your throat. Oh, no, no, no, no. They weren't even serrated. Just a blade. And you can still slice the throat.

It's just the stab. And also, you know, when I was a kid, if we had the new unstab-able knives, me and my brothers would be testing that. You'd also be sharpening the point at the end, right? Like there's no way in the world, we'd say, ah, it's the unstab-ables. Just give it a go.

Try this out as well. I want to get to the end with Idris Elba because one of the big problems that they're saying they're having with taking people's knives away is that in the UK there's a lot of families that have like swords passed down from generation to generation. From the war. From the war, family heirlooms. Bayonets, what not.

Yes. And so Idris Ilber is saying that those people essentially have to take one for the team and give them in. Okay. So listen to this. All knives, you know, the loophole on the heritage knives allows the sale of zombie ninja swords to be sold. You know, you've got your granddad's sword on there and you want that. That's fine, of course, but it is leaving a loophole for someone to carry a ninja sword. So let's ban them all and if you need, if you have one of those knives, get a

license for it. Simple as that. And I think it's a small contribution to society if you say, right I'm gonna back that. How about a stabbing? I think the stabbing's are bad. Yeah but it's still nowhere near what gun crime is. Nowhere near like the amount of murders with guns, right? Well it's enough that the BBs, this is a doco that Idris is making because there's so many stabbings. They had the one where the guy just got done, you know, the 18 year old kid stabbed all the kids.

Right. And that's caused furor across the UK obviously. But when we were there last together, remember some fucking guy, he tried to kill people with a narwhal tusk yeah yeah no he was defended off with a narwhal tusk he was defended off yeah yeah a guy picked up a narwhal tusk a good guy with a narwhal tusk yeah beat the guy with a knife yeah there was a true story there was a bloke went off stabby on one of the bridges another bloke ran out of like a museum or some shit with a narwhal tusk. I think it was like a seafood restaurant and he was like a waiter and he looked up, saw

a narwhal tusk, snapped it off and just ran out and like stabbed the murderer. So we don't hear anything on that from Idrisil but whether we need a license for narwhal tusks. What does Piers Morgan think? He's always got opinions on things like this. Piers Morgan thinks whatever the majority of the audience thinks at that time. No. Piers Morgan's...

I would say he's not a man of true faith. I think he might just go where the wind blows. A lot of people don't know that. Because when I told Piers Morgan to fuck off, what a lot of people don't know about that moment is that he and me, me and him had been talking direct messaging on Twitter before the show. And he he actually like, because we'd had a debate on Twitter about something else and then he actually wrote to me, you remember this, he wrote to me and he said he said, I see we're on the same show together, we're sitting six feet apart

better bring your A game, like that, and I came in full of all piss and vinegar the whole time I was like, if he fucking talks to me I'm gonna tell that cunt to go fuck himself yeah you went in hard yeah it worked out well for me though he's changed his opinion he's now saying about gun control he goes I went in a little hard with America telling them to get rid of their guns and it turns out the Americans didn't want to hear a British guy tell him to lose their guns he goes he had some quote like it would be like going to Germany and telling them that you should put speed limits on the Autobahn Even though I have the stats to prove it. They just don't want to hear it from a pom Right, so that hasn't changed opinion. His opinion is that that I lost fans

His opinion is basically I've got fucked up He was given the big TV show and he just talked about guns every fucking day So this is the thing about me and Pierce, we have a lot of similar political views, but we can't get along. Have you spoken again after your blow up? I, I posted when he went, when, um, uh, baby reindeer was on, he had the woman on and I posted that I thought Pierce did a good job and he reposted it. So I'm all right with Pierce Morgan. I think he's a plon job and he reposted it. So I'm alright with Pierce Morgan.

I think he's a plonker and he thinks I'm a prick. So it's like, you know. That's the thing about Pierce though. He's like very happy to be hated by people and it doesn't even change his opinion on them really. He's sort of just, he feeds off that. He doesn't like me. No? No, he doesn't like me. He would do an interview with you though if it got clicks. Oh yeah. Like for sure. Yeah, Pierce if you want to do an interview I'm down. Well I would like to say to all the people of Britain, do the right thing, hand your knives in just like Australia handed in their shotgun. You could convince enough British people for sure.

A Swiss Army knife. I had one of those at about 11 years old. Right? And I thought it was great. It's one of those at about 11 years old, right, and I thought it was great. It's one of the pointiest of the pointiest, right, and you could also corkscrew the fuck out of someone, you could get the magnifying glass and burn them from a distance. There's lots to be done with it. Then pick your teeth, right. But are we going to have them cut hunting knives, you know, like, are we cutting the points off all the knives?

It seems that's what they want. And they would like people to hand in their dangerous knives. And so with the butchers, let's say you work at a butchers, I worked at a butchers, right? Let's say you work at a butchers, would those knives have to be checked in and checked out? Like you were working in a prison. They'd probably have us, we'd put a serial number on them. Yeah, like you were working in a prison, like you have to check all the equipment's back where it's meant to be in the workshop before you go back to

yourself. Well, do you need a mental health check when you buy a knife? Like if you work in a store and a bloke comes running in he's like, I need a knife now, the sharpest. Are you selling them that knife? Is that, that might be logical. What you're saying that people should have to register their knives. I don't think they should have to register fuck all, personally, but I'm saying once you start going down this path mentally, should a store sell a knife to someone who looks mental? Man, when I was a kid I had throwing stars. So I don't know what to tell you. I bought them in Tijuana when I was over here when I was 14. I brought them back in my luggage.

A whole fucking bag of throwing stars. And then I would just like against the fence in the backyard I'd just go into the wall. And you didn't go into a field of people and toss them? Hurt one child. One. Once. Paid him off. So why do you think people are so mental and stabby?

That's probably a conversation for another day. I just don't think this is a real thing. I think maybe we need to maybe be harsher. I don't know the answer, but maybe there's harsher penalties, or if you're seen out in public with a knife outside of your actual, like I could do with some

control like you shouldn't have a knife outside your home or workplace this there's no reason for you to be carrying one on the street yeah there was always a weird kid at every school that like brought a knife that had a knife yeah he had like a like he spent a lot of money at like fellas gifts like one of those men gift stores and he'd buy like a special knife and he'd be like You know that knife that's a school shooter in Australian version that looked like the knife It looked like the crocodile dundee knife, but on the end of the handle It had a compass remember that one and it had a compass and you could unscrew the top and inside

It was like some matches and a band-aid or some shit. There was it was a survival knife Right that was the weird scouts kid in Australia. My brother used to have one of those knives and he played a game, maybe this should be, he used to play a game called Knife in the Sky where he just chucked the knife up in the sky and you'll have to run around and hope that it fell in the ground without hitting you.

What about an Orwellian? What about? What about? Did what it said on the tin. What about an Orwell it said on the tin. What about an Orwellian future where we go, none of you need to be cooking. Most of you order food out anyway. It's too dangerous to let you have kitchen utensils. So hand in anything pointy and sharp. Get your food delivered.

Here's one for you. Box cutters. Stanley Knives. Yeah, took down the planes in 9-11. Box cutters. That's how they took over. Box cutters. I tell you what, nothing does the job better than a box cutter. You want to get a box open? Get a box cutter. Right? And you feel, even if you're getting collector cards that rip into that plastic, you get a box cutter. Right? So, we get rid of box cutters? I think, mate, I think. They're the pointiest of the pointy. You have no reason to have anything that could ever protect you, and you should just wander around completely empty handed at all times. And hope that the British police with their batons and pepper spray can save you from a little bit. What about circular saws? Hard to manipulate into a crowd? Yeah, but you've seen movies where someone's been shoved their head onto one.

Yeah, but I'm saying, I've never gone to a Christmas market and worried about a circular saw. My father had a garage with circular saws, carpenter's circular saws. You know what I used to like? I used to like the rotary sand disk, right? The sand dust. I just had sandpaper and it just spun around and you put wood on the end of it, but you had to put the wood on the bit where the disk was going down so the wood would be forced down into the bench.

Another fun thing you could do is you could get a bit of wood and put it on the other end and then just let go and it went boom across the garage. It's a good childhood. Oh yeah. You don't provide that for your kids. No I don't give it to my kids. There's nothing to find in your garage. If you went out to my dad's garage you could lose a finger and read some porno. There was a cupboard with some some playboys in there, that fucking like 1982 playboys and they were all like just and they were stuck in between other magazines like there was car magazines and then way down low if

you had to. The only thing that Scott found them that your son can find in your garage is some of your early work on CDs which is probably equally as damaging for him to find. It's gonna be a hard day when my son starts googling my actual stand-up. It's going to be a hard day. I'm writing my biography at the moment and it's just like every page is like this and I was on cocaine. Because people said about the Kanye's wife, they're like, how will the kids of the future feel seeing that she wore that? Will they be ashamed? And I do think as a stand-up comedian, like how do your kids feel when you do grow up

and go, oh dad, you're a fucking, you're a loose unit, man. I was a loose unit. You're telling me I've got to focus and shit, but you're... I got into my son the other day for getting a B-. I need better work out here. I never pass shit. He's like, hold on one second dad. B- you say, is this you with a vibrating egg in your arsehole? So I'm just checking, is this, this isn't a deep fake, is it? This is you, on

cocaine, an alcoholic with a vibrating egg in your arsehole. No, I'll work on it. I've done some things. And he hasn't brought that up to you, has he? Don't put this out as a clip because he watches the clips. Okay. It can be the full thing. He watches the clips. The clip of the podcast is going to be Jim Jefferies saying that guns and knives don't kill people, people kill people. Hey ladies and gentlemen, come and see me. I'm at Boise and I'm in Utah this weekend coming up. Then big shows, big theater in Chicago, recording two specials. It's close to sold out, but I want it sold out way before.

We're recording a new special for Netflix. What have you got coming up? I'm going to Australia in three hours. So I'm gonna be at the Perth Fringe and the Adelaide Fringe so come and see me Aussies and then I'll be at your special take. Trying to plug the podcast down in Australia. Tell people that exists and also if you listen to the podcast we're trying to grow this thing we're only a few episodes in. I know we changed the day on you but this day works better. We're gonna

always be at Wednesdays moving forward, but please tell your friends because the more friends you tell the longer we do this podcast Which would make it a four-hour job, I guess You