I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 40 - Tolerance Isn't the Right Word
Episode Date: December 3, 2025At this moment, Jim and Amos are in their respective hotel rooms talking about how we're using the word "tolerance" incorrectly. They also discuss the recent boat bombings in Venezuela and Jim's kid p...eeing on people. Jim's new special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix! ADS: ExpressVPN: Secure your online data TODAY by visiting www.ExpressVPN.com/ATM to find out how you can get up to four extra months. SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: https://www.jimjefferies.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies FB: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/ Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys
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Hello, everybody.
Welcome to at this moment.
And at this moment, we are two friends in two different hotel rooms in two different cities in Europe.
I'm in Amsterdam.
And thank you for everyone I came to see my show.
And Jim, you are.
I'm in Bookerese, and thank you for everyone who's coming to see my show tomorrow.
Look, the dates don't stop here.
I've got, at the end of this tour, December 12th, come and see me in Dublin at the Three Arena.
There's still tickets available for that.
Well, I'll stop you there, Jimmy Boy.
It's not the 12th.
It is the, that would be the 14th that you can see Jim at the three arena, the 14th.
The 12th is my extra show in Amsterdam.
So you're going to be in Dublin enjoying yourself there.
and I'm going to be performing in Amsterdam.
You're going to be in Dublin.
So tickets available for all of those at jim jeffreys.com.
That's where all the tickets are.
And amosgill.
In January,
me and Amos will be performing in New York
at the Beacon Theatre in January.
But now we have a podcast
where we talk about everything in the news.
We talk about Pete Hagseth's bizarre tactics in the ocean
against Venezuela.
We talk about future war.
We talk about the new IRA,
speaking of Ireland,
and a host of other.
interesting topics to get Jim fired from his game show, as is always the challenge
week in, week out.
What?
What?
That's my...
You can't say things up top, then people will listen to the whole podcast.
Enjoy.
Hello.
Your internet's shit again.
What's wrong with my internet?
I don't know.
It's not on the level.
You're traveling with your internet.
son's iPad from when Steve Jobs was still alive.
This is my iPad and this is the top iPad you could get at the time.
iPad 1.
Like, you log in with your son's email.
You don't take this seriously.
Look, my name's in the corner.
I changed the name.
You used to say Hank.
Like you've taken his fucking school equipment so you can cobble together this podcast.
We're both in a hotel room.
We look like two gay lovers that are catching up while on the road trying to manage
difficult romance and careers.
I tell you what, if you watch, if you watch two-limp policy where I talk about Hitler face
and I say that I grow my facial hair out over the tour and then I shave it and a Hitler
mustache when I get back.
Yeah.
I'm doing it.
I will be Hitler for Christmas.
You mark my words, I'll be Hitler for Christmas.
At the moment, I'm in Bucharest.
In Bucharest, I didn't know this, but they actually had a, like, Churchill gave Romania to Stalin
on a napkin.
You actually sign a thing on a napkin to actually go.
There you go.
You can have that because Churchill wanted Greece.
Could have gone either way for those countries.
You'd go for Greece over Bucharest.
I don't want to talk shit before we get there and perform.
I've spent a lovely month in two days in Bucharest.
I had a rough time there getting my visa.
But holy hell, it's scarred by the communism, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
And still, I'll tell you this about.
are Eastern bloc countries that have got communist backgrounds.
You know, maybe they didn't have a lot.
Maybe they had to live under communism, but they did find spray paint.
Wherever they can, they've found a can of spray can't.
Cunts will tag something in any culture.
Any culture you've got, there'll be a stunt that'll write a word on a wall.
They've got neoclassical architecture that's like, I've never seen that.
Like proper government buildings are beautiful Roman-style buildings just tagged up with Romanian
swear words.
They've also got men like trolls and women like supermodels.
Yeah, I always think that about these cultures that have the really,
because the men are necklaces and sort of,
but you know what they love in Romania?
They love a name brand.
They love it just to say Gucci across the chest.
That's as happy as they can be.
I was on a plane coming from London to Bucharest,
so everyone who was doing that flight had their shopping bags,
like, here we go.
You know what I mean?
And it was all Louvaton and all stuff.
it's not subtle uh statement pieces it's just as big as the name can get over any you know how
europeans always come to america or they always talk about americans and europeans are always like
you can always tell when you see an american american standard like a sore thumb and it's like
yeah you blend in with your skin tight armani exchange shirt and your Ferrari shoes don't you
buddy come on well you know now my wife's wanted to buy an item of clothing and we were like
can we get the tax free at the airport and the lady's like it does not to make
difference because with tariffs it actually more expensive to take it from here and to bring
it in like fucking tariffs they're fucking fucking it's well jim that brings us to our first
topic there's a new tariff america it's hard to get into america there's a new tariff on
cocaine uh because venezuela is getting blown the fuck up and pete heggseth the
sociopath is out there parading about blowing off the survivors what happened to the survivors we
finished them off well that was the thing so so one of the boats gets bombed and it gets
now first of all is this going to stop cocaine getting into the country we've been at a war with
drugs since the 1980s and before that the official war with drugs and and and we've tried
longer prison sentences we've tried fucking blocking the people from coming in we've tried
you know, all these different things, and none of it's worked, although we haven't tried
just blowing them the fuck up, right?
So if you were a Venezuelan or a South American drug smuggler who got onto the boats,
do you think you'd be getting onto a boat this week or you'd roll the dice?
Listen, I might opt for shoving a few balloons into my anus and taking a plane.
Exactly.
exactly they haven't hit anything out of the sky yet stop with the boats bad week to be a
venezuelan wakeboarder hard to get anyone to believe you it like like they should dress something up
like remember they used to have those boat races for red bull you know what i mean just like
try to make a course there and act like it's a sport they're doing but i don't like the idea of
just extrajudicially blowing the boats up but then when they're floating going and finishing them off
like movie villains no this is the whole thing there has to be due course you don't have official
information on this thing and if you have got official information on them they still deserve
their day in court i understand if you're saying they're a threat to the country you blow them up
okay fine uh i'm on the fence whether i like that or don't like that but this but this is why it's
really funny is because at the same time don't trump just freed the ex-president of honduras
who was linked to narco trafficking and he's freed and then we're also fighting this war against
Now, it just so happens, are you ready for this?
Obviously, Venezuela is one of the biggest oil deposits on the planet.
So is there a chance that we're only wanting regime change because there's valuable
resources there?
Is it actually that the cocaine and the drug smuggling is a front for why we want to?
Colombia or the Argentina, just to be there's going to after any of them.
Just the Venezuela.
But the thing is, so he blows up the bomb and then a couple of them were hanging onto some
shrapnel in the water, which now that's a war crime.
you can't in any war the nazis didn't no one did this right if you're waving the white flag
and you've given up and you're just in a thing you're meant to arrest them put them in prison
it's just murder at that stage am i just a hippie am i yeah bloody hippie mate you finish him off
with a helicopter and pete hexus himself did you see he posted the cartoon of the cartoon turtle
franklin finishing people off with a bazooker this is fucking psychotic man now i this was
Do you remember when I was like the Trump administration, I want them to come in so we can have a time of peace?
I'm a peace, Nick.
And then the Department of Defense has Pete Higgseth wearing an American line suit, posting cartoon pictures of turtles massacring people in the water?
We have to do this every few weeks because you were very pro-Trump and you were happy when Trump voted in.
How's it going?
How do you think it's going?
Give it a rating.
What do you reckon?
So, well, you know, it's, I think the swamp is.
I think the swamp has been trained.
We're going to do this all the fucking time free.
He's not the bloody.
This is you, not me.
I bought the new equipment.
I bought this fucking microphone.
I bought this Focus Right machine that I have to carry around.
I've even brought microphones for you when we podcast next in Eastern Europe.
When are you getting here tomorrow?
I get her at 2pm.
We should podcast then.
This is going to do that the whole time.
We just tweet out to the people.
It's going to be a daylight because you're frozen again now.
Oh, no.
That was just your fat-wob face, just fucking said.
I let people see what happens behind the scenes.
So, no, okay, this is what I want to talk about with the drug running excuse.
And then, so I know Venezuelan, do you have Venezuelan friends?
No, I don't, I have a couple of Argentinians that I'm friendly with after the snake.
That's my only South American friends.
You've started to really sound like an American.
Do you know anyone from Venezuela?
I know somebody from Chile.
Yeah, exactly.
I once offended a Brazilian woman on a plane.
No, I don't have any...
Do you have Venezuelan friends?
I have a very close Venezuelan friend, yes.
Have I ever told you about the comedian Ivana Ristigeta?
No, but I hate...
Who did your show?
I hate when you do the accent on people's names.
Because you have the most yobo fucking voice.
Aventusitabeta.
You're the same as a Latino weather woman.
And my name is Olivia Rodriguez.
Good night.
Yeah, like in the World Cup, where they go like,
Christiano Codalo.
Yeah, yeah.
Ivan Eristigeta, he performed on your show, Jim Jeffries and Friends.
Oh, yes, I do know him.
I do know him.
You set me up there you can.
No, but you don't know him.
You don't know him.
You don't know him.
He's a good friends of mine.
You don't know him how I know him.
I'd tell you, Yvonne, I met him.
He came to Adelaide.
He's very funny.
Like 12, 13 years ago.
So I was like beginning comedy.
And he came down to an open mic and he was electric.
And I was like, man, this guy, this guy from Venezuela was like way too advanced for an open micer.
And I looked him up on Twitter and he had a few hundred thousand followers.
And it turned out he was a semi-famous comedian and radio broadcaster in Venezuela.
But under the Hugo Chavez dictatorship,
had been purged out of the country and had to get the fuck out of there because he was making
jokes about the government. And so he came to Australia and became a chef. And then he had
the longing for comedy again. So he came back and translated his comedy into English and
very quickly became quite famous in Australia because he's just very good. But he would always
talk to him about the Chavez government. And, you know, the Chavez government came into what
was it extremely rich, oil-rich country, you know, put forward their socialist and then communist
reforms. Chavez died. Maduro came. It's a full dictatorship. There's breadlines. People are
eating cats, dogs to survive. The country's been running to the fucking turf. So I know a lot of
Venezuelans that would be very happy to see the back of Maduro because he lost an election
last year and obviously ignored it. And that woman became, that woman became the Nobel Peace Prize.
I don't respect that he ignored the lost election. He's got to have some.
Ranger
Yeah, well he's like
Sorry for you, my friend
You don't have quite the military that I have
But what's happened is because he's ignored the military
I was reading about this today
So in order to have power
So Hugo Chavez
Was like the proper leader
A lot of support from the military
He's dead
Then Maduro takes over
He gets rid of his enemies
He was a bus driver man
It's like a bus driver
And a truck driver and a union delegate
That now has
Has to start as something
I've been a waker.
It doesn't take away for my comedy career.
I've sold mobile phones.
I've done bartending jobs.
I'm just saying he wasn't, like Chavez was a general, I believe.
So he had the military, and these tin pot dictatorships exist by the military saying who wins.
So what Chavez did was he had the strength.
But when Maduro came in, I was reading about it today, apparently in order to survive,
he's just said, you guys can be drug traffickers.
I don't give a fuck.
So a lot of supposedly a lot of the Venezuelan high app general,
generals use Venezuelan equipment to smuggle drugs.
And that's how they've enriched themselves.
They've stolen a lot of the wealth of the country.
So that's why they say, you know,
Nicholas Maduro is the head of like a cartel.
But it's the cartel to say he stays in power mostly.
Because otherwise, these generals would just fuck him off.
Because he's not exactly a military man, right?
And so when you look at it, though, I love how we go,
if you look on Twitter, every American saying,
We're only killing them because of the oil, as though that's like a hidden point.
And it's like, yeah, this is the only time in history where you have to reverse engineer.
Hang out again.
All right, you're back.
I was saying, this is the only time.
This is the only time in history where you have to like reverse engineer for your people some plausible, noble reason.
Like we have to topple the dictator and restore democracy.
when we all know, yes, they want to go in for the oil money.
But Americans are like, fuck that.
But in any other era, you'd be like,
my government's going to steal resources to make us richer.
That's what we want, baby.
Like, do you know what I mean?
Only in this period of history, like the Romans weren't like,
hey, we're going to go, we're going to go into the Ottomans.
Do you think if the Romans had X and they had Facebook and they had Instagram
that the people wouldn't have spoken out against fucking.
and Caesar being a pricked or whatever, you know, of course they would have.
It's just that, you know, but I think they would have been like,
Caesar just brought home so many slaves.
He's the fucking man.
How many, how much gold did we steal from Egypt?
You don't think there would be a couple of people who'd write like this, like one comment
at the bottom?
I think slaves are wrong.
You don't think that comment would come?
Yeah, there would have been a few people like, Carthage did not deserve what it got.
They had a noble culture.
And for us to commit a genocide against the Carthaginians is disgusting.
And I'm posting a black square.
Of course they would have.
But most people would have been happy that they had an army and a dictator
that was able to get them resources to make their lives better.
But we put on this song and dance like, oh, it's terrible.
I think it's just because we hear everything that everyone says.
I think that's all the only difference.
The only difference.
You would have had the same problems before.
Like, because you can't, no one on TV, even on Fox,
would dare say, how good is this going to be for gas prices?
although can we say this and Americans don't know this but gas prices in America are pretty good
they're pretty good in comparison to the UK in Australia they're pretty good you know but
yeah what I mean particularly in Texas it was like $2 a gallon it always makes me laugh that we
complain about the price of gas now think about gas it is fossils on the bottom of a seabed
that have been there for millions of years that we then have to invent technology to suck out of the
ground to get into tankers to be refined and then we have to start illegal wars and
commit a genocide in order to have access to it and if it's more than three dollars the president
loses his job it's it's cheaper than milk and milk we're like this
gas we've got machines all day go go go go go go go go go go go go just bearing into the earth
and then we go can you believe these prices of this this thing that is running out yeah
I just paid $2.50 for a gallon of fuel that powers my car, and I'm angry about it.
But I did just buy a red ball for $3.75 mills for $5.99, and I'm perfectly content.
Yeah, yeah.
I think gasoline is good value.
There's never been a better.
Now, you couldn't win an election on that, but if you're just like, you ungrateful fucks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm with you.
And with you, what other new?
So anyway, my point is, is that now your cocaine will probably be more expensive.
But no one does cocaine anyway, it's the fentanyl.
Yeah, I don't take cocaine anymore.
So that's not going to bother me.
And when I was doing it, it was still at a reasonable price.
And also, welcome to Australia.
Australia is already very expensive with the drugs.
So America doesn't know how good they've got it.
But the fentanyl's killed that drug off anyway.
It's a dirty fucking drug now.
They bloody ruined it.
People were having a good time for a good.
long time and then the bloody the fuckwits ruined it like when you're cutting drugs
don't cut it with fentanyl just put a bit of fucking panadol in there or ibuprope or don't
put ibuprofen in there or panadol because then it'll give the kids autism for the mums
who are using cocaine you know what this is the long game of china though so china
they bring the fentanyl in and we got them addicted to opium in the opium wars so they've just
they're just returning a favor for a few hundred years ago they got a long
addicted to fentanyl you just die no there's no fentanyl addicts is there oh yeah they're out there
are you been to san francisco that's people who are like addicted to oxy cotton and and all that
type of stuff right but you know so so i've just performed in amsterdam that's why i should say
you're in your hotel room in bookerest i'm in my hotel room in amsterdam we're about to meet up
again we meet tomorrow since you've walked around in europe you don't see homeless fentanyl addicts
like you do back in the States.
What you mean is junkies.
They're not just being...
Yeah, just like junkie.
I don't see that many junkies kicking about.
Yeah, it's the cold.
No, well, yeah, no, no, because they have social services and they're shooting galleries
and things like that.
No, of course, of course there's less of them.
Or maybe they just kill them.
Who knows?
I've never said, like America has those guys on Trank.
That's the drug of choice there.
Have you seen Trank?
What is this?
And how do I get some?
we should do an episode where
Jim's on Trank
What's the legal one
That now that people want to advertise
And podcast
That's crazy
Cratum
Cratum offered to advertise
On our podcast
And I was like
I don't know about Cratom
It feels like
Because back in the day
They used to advertise
Um
Fucking vapes
Because it was an alternative
To give up cigarettes
And everyone's like
I have an electronic cigarette
And they were a big
podcast thing.
They were advertising on radio.
Long after advertising cigarettes had been banned.
And so I feel like, what's this new one called?
I reckon that's got to get banned.
Cratum is like, I think it's a, it's like a synthetic opiate, right?
Or it might have even come from, it might be a derivative of CBD.
That's like you take so many of them that it becomes like Oxy.
Yes.
I think if you really hammer it, you can get something out of it.
So if Trank is xylazine.
which is a vet tranquilizer that has been found in some illicit drug supplies.
Trank slows heart rate, breathing, blood pressure to dangerously low levels.
So it's just dog pills, basically.
Anytime there's a drug that we pump into an animal, whether it be ketamine, steroids, or trink, a human will go,
what are you putting in that animal over there?
What does it do?
I'll have a go.
Of course.
There hasn't been one person that goes and gone, I'll have a go.
If there's fucking tablets to get rid of worms, whatever, we'll take them.
You have to imagine, if you're a hardcore junkie,
it'd be amazing to break into the vet clinic at SeaWorld
and find what they give the whales for anxiety.
Dude, whale medication or bears?
Like, the zoo must be the best drugs in the world.
Hardcore cat?
Is there an experience?
Is there a thing, a utopia, euphoria,
that we haven't got a drug for yet like we've got we've got ecstasy to make us feel
little tingly and all that type of good lovely MDMA does does that then you got ketamine to
make your fucking feel sedated and all that type of stuff and then still have the thing then
you've got actual painkillers then you've got you know all the different things is there a market
erection tablets right is there an activity that we haven't got a tablet for yet that you want
to have come into play well yeah is there is there is there's there pills if you're just
addicted to like vomiting like you want to empty out your stomach i just want something that i can take
and i've tried it with weed but something that i can take where i can watch programs that my wife
enjoys just like i'm going to watch four hours i thought that was wait i thought that was weed
it stopped working it's not working i can see tricks i used you know what weed's good for
weed's good for watching children's programs if you want to sit down with your four year old okay we've got
to talk about me four-year-old. So I'm a four-year-old.
You keep going because I want to, before you get into that, I do want to finish this,
I do have an idea of what you're talking about. Remember I said this to you, and I said,
we have to try. So you take pills for intolerance to milk. And I was saying, how long will it
be before they invent, like, other intolerance pills? So it's like, you're racist. So you take
a pill because you're going to be around black people. Well, it's not, and it stops you
being intolerant. No, whatever your race is, you're like, look,
I've got a Chinese girlfriend and granddad's not going to be happy with that.
Can you please put,
can you please put a pill in his,
in his soup?
So what you're saying is before anybody flies,
if they're of a race that's a bit questionable,
we give them the pills so that they have a change of heart when they're on the plate.
It just stops you from hating other races.
The tolerance tablet.
The tolerance tablet.
Yeah, racial tolerance.
Because I always said,
that about racial tolerance is a funny word. Because when they say you have tolerance,
that means you had to build a tolerance, which means the first time, which means the first
time you saw a black person, you're like, but then after like years of exposure, you're
like, I'm good with it now. That's what tolerance suggests, because it's something that
would be, you wouldn't tolerate. That's why I think it's not a very good term. I'm very
racially tolerant. It's like, so you weren't once?
Yeah. I tolerate people. Yeah. I had a Chinese guy come over once. I got itchy, but I
I'm all good with it now.
I'm a very good person.
I tolerate others.
Tolerate.
Tolerate is not a good thing.
It's very loaded terms.
I've literally said that sentence before.
I tolerate others.
Tolerate.
Put up with them.
It's not like I love them.
No, I tolerate it.
So, okay, so my little boy, he's at the moment, he thinks the funniest thing in the world is body movements, right?
You know, he thinks poo and we
that's where a four-year-old keeps their comedy, right?
Poo and we, poo and we.
Anyway, he's always like, I'm going to poo on mommy.
I'm going to pee on daddy like this, right?
He says these things, like, that's his big edgy bit of comedy.
He says he's going to literally like poo on you or something.
Yeah, he just says it.
That's what a, he thinks he's being edgy.
It's like, I know, but that's that I hear of like,
but actually say,
they're going to do it too.
He is an edgy kid, man.
He always has been.
He's a cheeky little bit out there.
He's a cheeky little bastard.
Face it.
I don't know what you said, but I get the gist, right?
So he says he's going to, he says he's going to poo and we, and I'm going to say, so this morning, he says to his mother, he goes, I'm going to pee on mommy.
And she's like, don't do that.
Oh, I don't want to speak bit.
Then he stood up, he stood up next to her, pull these pants down and pissed on her.
what yeah he fucking pissed on his mom and we're talking about Hank obviously no no no no
the four year old the four year old yeah that's not good yeah yeah and the thing is my wife's like
this well what are you going to do about it like this well i'm not in the same country as him this is
really a you discipline moment you have to take control of this moment i go i go what did you do
and she goes i was in too much shock to say anything i just went to
the bathroom and I'm like
he's got to be grounded or something
there's got to be what's
what's the official punishment
you get for pissing on your mother
like honestly man that's
the kind of at four piss on your
mum that's like you'll get a nickname for the rest of your
life and the family for that at his
21st it's like you know he pissed on his mother
once not while a nappy
like you can piss on your mum in a nappy change
but if you're pulling your own pants
down oh yeah yeah no he's
fully toilet train I want to add to this this
wasn't a bladder.
This wasn't a moment of whatever.
He'd never, also, he'd threatened it before, but he'd never pull the dick out, right?
It wasn't like there was a progression where he'd get his dick out and hold it and go,
I'm going to piss on you.
Now, he always kept the dick in the pants.
And then this time he got the dick out and we went, well, and she was like, well, that's a new step.
And then urine started to come out.
A lot?
Well, a piss worth.
He was, he just woke it up.
He was sharing a bed with him because he was their mother's house.
he just woken up so a full night's worth of piss this isn't going to be a small amount
so he wakes up in the morning he sees his mom he's like you know what makes me laugh
is threatening to piss yeah allegedly allegedly he was laughing maniacally as the piss
came out of his penis you've got to get on top of this now because he can't be trained
to believe that that is any reward for that what's he going to be like he's going to be pissing
on people at urinals on that you know people that used to do that they piss on your shoes
I remember going to the football and I'm like you know at the public urinal and there was an
old guy next to me and he was pissing and I was standing there and he like maneuvered his way so
he's piss hit my shoes and he was like he he he's like what the fuck that's it's a that's a power
play isn't it when you were a young kid were you the kid that pulled the pants all the way
down for a piss that kid no I
that was a weird kid but let me tell you something about uh so charlie is four and he's done that
when i was i'm going to say even older six or seven i still feel bad about this my grandparents
my Croatian grandparents and we went to their house and my uncle said to me you know it'd be
hilarious what if you go on go and moon granddad dida go and show him your ass
like moon him
and I was like
okay
and I remember I ran in
and he was sitting down
like eating his fucking
borsht
with his bread
and I pulled my pants down
and just like mooned him
and I was like
what are you making of that
he got up
and I just the look in his eyes
of disrespect
like he felt so disrespected
he chased me
and kicked the shit out of me
and I remember Ben like
I deserve that
like I
it was
our relationship was not okay for two years because he was like why would you show me your ass
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If Charlie pissed on me, there would be a spanking.
I haven't spanked him yet, but he'd be cruising for a bruise
and if he fucking pissed on me.
But his mother, nothing.
I'll tell you, okay, so you got, but, so when Scott, my brother got his driver's license
and there's like, he's got his shitty $500 Australian car, you know, the moment in love.
And it's like, and it's like, you just want to go places all the time.
so we always would go up to the local
fucking gas station and get a slurpy
or a slushy or whatever they call them
so we'd go all right
we'd go up and get a slurpy and all this stuff
and then we'd drive, we'd go to the shops, we'd go to
McDonald's, you know, wherever we could drive
he wanted to drive, you know.
Anyway, one Sunday, he goes
to me, he goes, let's go around
Sunday, there'll be a lot of people
getting, oh, it was Saturday, it was a
weekend, he goes, I've just
seen a wedding up the road.
Let's go up there and move
them as they're coming out.
Oh, yeah, they want to get involved in this, right?
Who doesn't want to get involved in this, right?
Now, I wish there was a part of the story where my whole life became unraveled
and I got in trouble for this, but we mooned one wedding to a whole lot of yelling
and abuse and people going, you're fucking little bastards and stuff like that, right?
Then my brother driving away.
We were that encouraged by the first one.
We drove around Sydney till we found another wedding.
it took you a while as well that's now that's that you that's really giving someone their honeymoon
come on folks but you got to wait like why it's in there you got to wait when they walk out
with the rice throwing and all that type of stuff and then you go we're moon ready because
everyone's taking photos and then just a shitty you know holding Gemini drives by with a 13 year
old boy's ass hanging out the window good stuff I don't think there's a better moment in life
than when you, like, I had a Suzuki Vitara, I got for $500.
Yeah.
And the early days of realizing that you can go to McDonald's whenever you want at any
hour, there is no happier moment.
Like, you've got to give it to McDonald's.
Every Australian youth's life is painted with hanging, buying McDonald's food and hanging
in the car park and just talking to other kids from other schools in the McDonald's car park.
It was the greatest.
You would go to McDonald's, you park up, you buy a thing on a Saturday night.
no plans, and then you'd wait for, because if no one had everyone's phone, I had like
fucking eight bloke's phone numbers memorized and a landline.
There was no mobile.
So we would, we would, I'd go with a mate of mine, we'd drive out, we'd go at the gas station,
get a slurpy, or we'd go to McDonald's and so in the hope that some other car would
come up and go, we're going to a party.
And that would be how you'd get through the grapevine and then go from there.
But we didn't have a bigger plan than just standing around a car park and hopefully
the adventure would come to us.
McDonald's was the true connective tissue of many people's youthful lives.
Like, it was, it was the proper meet-up.
It was cheap.
How much?
This is a soft-serve cane in McDonald's in Australia.
30-cent, wasn't it?
30 fucking cents.
It might be a dollar now, but when I was a kid, 30 fucking cents, and it was 30 cents forever.
How much do you think it is in McDonald's, L.A.?
Three bucks or something?
Two bucks, 60.
Yeah.
Yeah, so it's absolutely appalled.
And it's still 30 cents.
This company has no uniformity about it's pricing.
It doesn't know what the fuck it's doing.
I was thinking about that there.
The other day I was talking to my brother about like when we were happy because I call my
brother to moan.
That's what brothers do.
You ring up and you bitch about your parents so that you know that it was a relatable
experience that another person went through.
But I was like, when were you happy?
Because we're planning things in our lives.
And my brother lives in Canada.
I live in Australia, in America, you know, and I'm like,
do you know, it was the happiest day we didn't even realize was,
let me take you there.
It's Saturday morning.
You've just played sports.
The game has ended.
You've left the change rooms.
You're about to go home.
There's another, you're with your best mate.
You're like, can I, can Sam come to my house?
And you talk to his parents.
Yeah, you can come to your house.
Right.
Then he gets dropped off at your house.
And then your parents take you to a blockbuster.
and you wander around a blockbuster for like half an hour
and you get like two new releases,
seven weeklies,
some video games.
The chicken and chip shop was always in the same strip mall.
So you've got the videos,
the games,
the chicken and chip stuff,
maybe some fucking cabri blocks of chocolate.
You came back to the house.
You watched the movies.
You watched the Saturday night football.
Dad would come home.
Dad was a bit drunk,
so he was in a good mood.
Dad's four beers deep.
He's like, give us a guy,
this fucking controller.
he's playing FIFA's on it and I remember thinking I can't wait to grow up how severely wrong
I was how severely wrong I was that it would ever improve okay this is what you're doing
you're romanticizing one or two days you've had some good days you've had days where you've
woken up you didn't as an adult you didn't know what was going to go on and you've gone out
and then you've told some jokes and then the best looking woman ever is giving you a
hand job in the back of a car or something you know what i mean like this wasn't happening to 13 year old
amos right you've had good days right do you think one day do you think one day your son will go i know
the good old days when i'd wake up and piss on my mother just a golden shower with mummy he's
this is a kinky child man you got to get this out of him yeah so but so you're remembering a good
day from your childhood that you had about you had that day maybe 20 times right maybe 20 times because
you grow out of it.
You're too young before then.
There's only so many Sundays.
You know what I mean?
Where your mate came over.
Like, you know,
think about the worst 20 days of your childhood.
Oh, yeah.
Can't wait to grow up.
Can't wait to go up.
Do you remember just that panic of,
oh, I've got a big assignment due tomorrow
and I've done nothing.
I wake up to that feeling that's looming over you
I wake up to that.
I still have this anxiety wake up that I have a paper due for like year 10 geography
that I haven't started.
And I sometimes do wake up like, fuck.
It never leaves you.
Just that concert.
And also, look, I've had it with comments where I've got to write a new show.
I haven't written enough of a show.
And I'm looking at all me bits and pieces like this is all shit.
But like, at least I enjoy the job.
And for the most part, I'm panicking.
about nothing. When I was in school panicking about an exam or an assignment I haven't done,
I wasn't panicking about nothing. I had done no work. I was not ready. That's a terrible
feeling. To know what my worst feeling in all schooling was in my first ever law exam.
You're allowed to bring notes in and I'd done all my notes and I walked in and I accidentally
bumped them off the table and when they hit the floor, the pin came out of them and they
spread everywhere and they weren't numbered and I spent the first 45 minutes on that trying
to put the notes back together and I'm just having a full mental breakdown.
I'm going to tell you something, I still don't know how to study.
You know, my mom would go, go study and I'd sit in my room and just sort of masturbate a bit
or like I had porn magazine and be drawn.
You want to know why I masturbated a bit when I study?
It's the only time my mother knocked and left me alone because I was in there studying.
right it's it's the only time my brothers were told to leave me alone and so I knew that
oh I'm studying I got a big exam it was a lot of masturbating horrendous enough scary
at least you've carried it on what else is scary is what else is scary is that beard
well I told you I grow the beard out if you watch my special no I'm I know but the gray
in there you look like a completely different guy yeah yeah look like the guy that pissed on
my feet at the urine or at a football
match like father like son and i know this is a bit of topic so when i grow the great beard i see
my brother danny in my face and uh did you did you see the clip of uh the 30 minutes that
that 60 minutes did on max my nephew uh the helicopter accident so so if you haven't seen it
it's on 60 minutes australia go to 60 minutes australia on youtube uh you can watch the
footage there it's fucking it's um i just watched it i was like when i went on the theo vaughn
podcast when i spoke about it on this podcast here i was always like uh they buried the helicopters
in the back of my brain i was always like i hope i've got that information accurate i hope i'm
not saying a half truth you know what i mean like maybe they buried a few helicopters not all the
i think it was 48 fucking helicopters have been buried in an undisclosed location by the
government, 48, and 60 minutes, you went, this is the last Australian Taipan. Do you want to know
why there's still one left? Because it's in a war museum. It was already in there. There's all the
different things that you can walk around and see all the old equipment. I wish they could
bury that one as well. But also the top aisle helmet with the inverting and stuff, I
always got told what happened. And now the actual test pilot explains it. If you want to know
anything that happened with that accident, you watch that 60 minutes, you will be
a gasp you know what i mean it's when they told me that yeah when they said they've buried them all
in undisclosed location why yeah but okay 48 helicopters right that's fucking that's paddicks
and acres it's not like a little hole it's not like davin get rid of the helicopters mate
all right fucking give me a shovel that is bulldozers that is hundreds of people working
to get that done.
That isn't being done by a couple of blokes.
Well, you know, the Prime Minister's on his honeymoon at the moment.
So when he gets back, maybe he'll watch the 60 minutes.
What, Albo's just got married?
Yeah, he got married this week.
He was going on a honeymoon.
How is he not married?
No, he just got married, yeah, this week to that lady.
He met in 2020.
Is this his first marriage?
I think it might be, hey.
Is he, I think so?
Would he like a single bloke?
running the country yeah we had a we had a we had a bachelor running the country
i've always thought it was he a dick maybe was a people should run the country
or he's a divorcee oh i don't know i'm i'm going i know very little about the guy to be
honest but he's the first austrian prime minister to get married on the job and when they
said he's taking it you know we've we've got world leaders meeting with putin right now and our
fucking prime this is on a vacation to the whit sundays or something well if he's up at the
Whits Sundays, you can probably find one of the other helicopters.
Fucking go out there and look at it, you
cunt.
How dare they?
How, fuck.
I was watching that report, and I was like, I used to think, there was always an element
of, oh, maybe it was human error, mate.
You watch that fucking 60 Minutes thing.
It is completely and utterly a cover-up.
And at 60 minutes aren't going, and allegedly this happened.
and some might say
they're not saying any of that
they go when your
when your son was killed
by faulty equipment
like they're they're not pulling punches
60 minutes I've just said nuts or bullshit
helicopters fucking buried
and you see like there's some
some of the soldiers had little
kids little kids man
little kids and you're fucking
and they just covered it up
and it's like and the government
they go
they go all the helicopters
that are burrow
in an undisclosed location and the government hoped that their secrets were buried there
as well like that's not mincing fucking words no of course and we're at a time where we wonder
why there's very low trust in government oh i with so so so if you're going to be like
why are people conspiracy theorists i don't know uh burying the helicopters in undisclosed
locations to hide evidence of their malfeasance and also it's
turned out it wasn't even the fucking helicopters.
It was the helmets. But they didn't know it was the
helmets at the time. They just fucking
bury it all. They've still got the fucking
can we get a tax credit for the fucking helicopters
they wasted? How about that?
Did you know the Ukraine asked for him?
Ukraine went, we'll take them.
And they went, nah.
And I always thought, before
I watched the 60 minutes, I always thought it was like 15
helicopters. I didn't know it was in the 40s.
It's just so many fucking helicopters.
It's like Australia must have
No helicopters right now.
We've probably gone back to Blackhawks or something like that.
Speaking of war and the Ukraine, Vladimir Putin says he is ready for war with Europe right now.
He said, if Europe wants to go, let's fucking go.
Like that, right?
That's what he said.
They're fucking shaping up.
There's a bit of me that I feel like Putin needs to get his ass kicked.
And I feel like if all of Europe gets together, they will do that.
you don't like loss of life but this whole idea of we had like a week ago we were told
that the ukraine and russia were very close to a peace agreement well they are they're
they're meeting now with whitkoff and kushner so no doubt kushner wick uh kushner's trying to find
some um hotel space in the donbass what's the don't is that the place where trump got pissed on
there'll be a Donbass golf course for sure coming soon.
But whatever it takes to get a peace deal,
they are meeting at this moment.
So hopefully we'll see an end to that conflict.
There you go.
Look at that.
It worked the title in.
Another Russian story,
which I think illustrates a point that I think has worried me for a long time
about modern cars.
This is why you want an old car.
Right.
They want an old car.
Because all modern cars can be turned off.
Not a good thing.
So Russian Porsche owners, cars have now been immobilized across the country with deliberate satellite interference feared.
So hundreds and thousands of Russian Porsche owners have found their cars are being turned off.
And the Russians believe that the Porsche company is essentially fucking with them and their customers over there because they've stopped dealing with Russians.
They don't have to anymore.
I don't believe that after you purchase or something and something's under your possession.
that the company should be able to turn it off but then you're getting into because it's computers
it's kind of weird it's a weird thing because it's computer i'm no interest in a car that is a
computer you know what i mean you just want it to be a combustion engine because the fact it is so
scary to know that you can speak out again let's say you know you speak out against the government
let's say okay you the people that don't like Elon Musk right Elon Musk decides that you've done
something wrong and he has power in the government and it's like we're shutting off there
Tesla's.
Or we're worried about climate change and this person's been driving too much so we're turning
your car off.
You don't get to drive your car.
Sorry.
I'll tell you something about the Romanians in the small amount of time I've been here.
And I'm only on night too.
But I've been in about five vehicles.
They don't like a seatbelt.
Fuck, they get angry at the idea of a seatbelt.
The guy who picked us up from the airport just sat in the front chair with the seatbelt.
I think a lot of going
the whole time.
It was his seat.
The rest of us all had their
fucking seatbelts on.
Every Uber I've gotten in,
the seatbelts are all already clicked in.
The guy clicks him into each fucking seat
so you don't get the bar,
because the passengers won't fucking do it up.
No,
they give fuck all about seat belts.
Now,
that's true freedom.
Don't help me up.
Most free people in the world.
If you want to watch something fascinating ATM listeners,
I'm a big,
I've got a big passion for Romania,
but you want to see Nicholas Chalchesco's last ever speech.
It's one of the great YouTube watches.
You know when you have a party and you've got like four lads around that's late
and you get trading YouTube videos?
I get that one up a lot.
The sheer terror of Chalchesco when his regime collapses.
And he gets into the helicopter only to be murdered against the wall.
You actually see him get murdered?
Yeah, they've got, they've got, you don't, you can see the bullet.
marks in the wall they put them up against the wall and they blew their brains out and that was the
end of nicholas chalchesco and i went to brushov and i was going to recommend you go there we don't
we won't have enough time but brush of is where um Vlad tepesh aka dracula is all about that's
dracula's castle oh transylvania is up the road right yeah that so you go to this town called
brushov and so it's you know the story there suppose is based on this guy called Vlad tepesh who
was a guy that was fighting against the Ottoman Empire and he would get all the entrails
and the blood of all of his enemies and make it line the roads.
He was like a very feared ruler.
And his castle is supposedly the home of Dracula.
And anyway, I went there and they still saw pictures of Chalcestersko, the dictator on the side
of the road.
We had a drive ago, if you do not visit Frantilvania, Dracula, will come and get you.
that's obviously what he
is to foreigners
but yeah no very cool country
now I want to do a couple more stories for you
obviously we've done Putin
Porsche you know so Porsches
yeah buy old cars
do something life
is a Trump thing
did you see the Dell family
Michael and Susan Dell
are they the people who make the computers
the laptop company yes
have pledged
$250 million
dollars into this new trump baby fund have you heard of the trump baby fund no i have not heard of the
trump baby what's the trump baby fund okay so the federal government is gifting a thousand dollars to babies
born between january first 2025 and december 31st two thousand eight the money will be put into
an indexed investment account and it's only for people who live in zip codes where the median
income is below 150 thousand but the dell families put 250
million into this account, and they say it will go to 225 million kids.
Okay.
On face value, I think this sounds like a good idea, but I don't like it when it involves
post codes and something like that.
Have you ever tried to get your child into a school and you're not in the
encatchment, you're one road over?
Or back in the days when you tried to get a Domino's pizza, just as difficult.
And Domino's would be like, whereabouts do you live?
And you'd say the street, you'd hear this, nah.
And you're like, I'll pay a bit extra.
It's just, you're right.
I remember you would go and meet them somewhere.
You'd tell them to drop it at a place and you'd meet.
You'd go to a park.
You'd go to a park.
Yeah.
And there was no like fucking looking at your phone, looking at an app and looking at a little car travel.
And you didn't know what the bloke would look like.
And you just like, I'll meet you at this park.
He just stood there.
Plenty of times, like same thing.
When we used to go to car parks and eat McDonald's.
Sometimes you'd want a Domino's pizza and you'd order a pizza just.
And you'd have to.
cash like it was a real thing
do you remember like
when you think of food apps now
and they pay for it
and they try to up so you not those stuff
do you remember back of the day
just people sending pizzas to
other people's houses to be an asshole
yeah as a prank
yeah free food as a prank
how many pizza
companies fucking lost
loads of cash
because of that
like oh send 20 fucking pizzas
to some fucking girl who dumped me, you know?
Oh, right, of course, because I get it now because there's no, there is no,
yes, they took all this on spec.
Yeah, they just assume, yeah, they should have to know your number.
You could ring up, they couldn't trace your number,
you were just the voice of the phone, who told a bloke with a pad,
your address, and then they had to believe you.
And you could order 30 pieces.
They didn't give a fuck.
You got to say, I wonder if pizza revenue is down now that everyone gets to deliver,
because they had the market completely cornered.
It was the only delivered food.
Oh, they must be some stuff.
Well, we had, then they brought in for a while there in Sydney.
They brought in diamond chopsticks, right?
And diamond chopsticks had the can can music as their theme song.
Diamond chopsticks, we deliver to your door.
Diamond chopsticks, 966604, diamond chopsticks like this, right?
It's a very Asian-y type of music, right?
And what the plan with Diamond Chopsticks was,
you rang up, you could only order the classics.
Mongolian beef, sweet and sour pork, you know, honey chicken, whatever.
You can only order ones that everyone knew,
fried rice, spring rolls, whatever.
And then Diamond Chopsticks was just a call center
that rang up your local Chinese and told them to send it there.
Genius.
Anyway, so you've got kids getting a thousand marks each.
You know the problem is...
Well, I found this out, by the way,
because my brother-in-law just had his baby.
So, congrats to Henry and Olivia,
they've got their new baby, Carl.
Oh, congratulations, congratulations.
And in the family group chat,
someone posted this and said,
our zip code is eligible for the 1,000.
Yeah, if you live in Kankakee, near the Steelman.
Kankakee, Illinois.
So the baby's going to get $1,000.
I think they don't know if you own the steel mill or you're one of the people who works
to the steel mill.
I was like, I don't know if that's for you guys, to be honest.
Take it.
Now, this fucking child now has a bigger investment portfolio in America than me.
That's...
Okay, so that $1,000 has to sit there until they're 18?
Yes.
Okay.
By the time they're 18, conservatively, that's going to be worth $12,000?
depending on unless we have a full economic wipeout before then but 12 12,000 it'd be about right
it's not it's not going to double every year do you know it'll be amazing they'll be like
I wouldn't be surprised knowing the Trump administration and that do I've had stocks for 12
years that have not gone fucking double or anything I'm going to want to see the fine print on
this because it'll be an index fund but I guarantee you the companies being invested
in will be Dell fucking computers I guarantee you
you're going to see an index fund that has Dell, Trump, Trump resorts,
will be in the index.
What have you invested in?
Kushner consulting.
Ingun on the back of an eagle.
There is no way there's not going to be completely loaded with, dude, do you know what's going to be?
You go, this kid will turn 18 and go, I've got $20,000 of my pillow.
in a pillow
I guarantee
that it's going to be Tesla
My Pillow
Dell Computers and Trump Resorts
It's called the MAGA pack
The MAGA hedge fund
And gold plated coins
And survival food
These are limited coins
Limited to how many we can sell
Get in now
Again last topic
And this one goes to Europe
obviously the IRA holds a special place in modern people's young people seem to love the IRA.
We remember the good old days of the IRA and they used to ring you up and go you have ten minutes to leave the balding.
And then you were around for the troubles.
Well, I was of age.
I wasn't living in the UK when the troubles happened.
But I lived in Manchester where they blew up an entire area of Manchester.
and the people of Manchester are pretty happy about it
because they got a shopping mall.
I think everyone got out in time.
So no one got killed and they got a brand new shopping mall.
So they were sort of over the moon about the whole thing.
So the IRA, like, I've seen it with kneecap and a lot of resistance movements
and particularly with the free Palestine stuff,
the Irish have this bond with, you know, basically independence movements.
So we've seen that for a long time.
the IRAs come back as like this cool thing for the youth.
Anyway, I've got some friends from Cork who told me,
and I thought they were just, you know how the Irish get,
they're telling some fucking yarns.
It's a lot of my uncles and this are in this IRA.
Things that we did and the border door, yeah.
Mad, my family, unbelievably savagely,
fighting, they're for it all the way back with Michael Collins,
all that business.
So this guy was telling me, he said his mates on the ground in Cork and in Belfast were, they were very unhappy with migration levels to Ireland, okay, in the same way that the UK is going through theirs and, and you're saying.
So let's just stop you.
Migration into Ireland.
How many Irish people do you meet abroad for that little tiny fucking, you go, there's not a stop go woman in Sydney who is an Irish.
they're fucking everywhere the Irish
that's why everyone can get Irish passports
because I'm 35% Irish
right the Irish every American
claims to be Irish
everywhere you go there's an Irish pub
they are the most represented people
around the world for the size
population they are and they're
because it are faminely
because people are coming there now
you don't want it to come here
well and there's a lot of people
in small towns etc they talk about
you know the town is now
exclusively people from the Middle East or Africa
and these small towns, hotels.
Anyway, it's become a big topic in Ireland.
Obviously, that's why Connor McGregor was saying
is throwing his hat in the ring and then it's like the topic.
What are in Ireland?
Look at this.
On December 12th, come and see me in Dublin.
Amos will be with me in Dublin.
You with me in Dublin?
I am with you in Dublin and I'm doing my own show afterwards as well at some point,
which will be for sale.
But I want to play you, this new video,
which is scaring a lot of people,
anyone who remembers the troubles his three men in balaclavas and pistols and a looks like a machine gun do you see
that yeah ready to go okay let's listen listen to this to the people of nurie more on and down
we the new republican movement have watched their accounts and mlle's over the past
well once the level of disrespect but turn it so we can see it got it face to the people of
We, the new Republican movement have watched their councillors in MLAs over the past 12 months.
The level of disrespect shown to the people we put you into power, this cannot be ignored any longer.
We are proud men of Ireland, we are patriots.
Your policies and decision make in regards to flooding our communities with undocumented military-aged men is not acceptable.
We will not sit back any longer and watch our culture and religion destroyed by the people we put in power.
Also, the sexual indoctrination of our children and schools has not went unnoticed either.
The new Republican movement will take immediate action against anyone who threatens our ways of life and the safety of our women and children.
We have your addresses and known the movements.
Every one of you are legitimate targets as of today.
The new Republican movement, the 28 and 1125.
We have your addresses.
We have your addresses.
Now you don't.
Tell the truth.
We can get your addresses very easily.
We haven't...
We know a lot of people.
It's just yet, but we will in the future.
We'll check the internet, the phone book if it still exists.
The good thing about the new IRA is they don't even have to change the songs.
Because the old IRA was like, we hate the black and tan.
And the new IRA hates people from Africa.
So they're like, we hate the blacks and tans.
They don't say blank.
We hate those blacks and tans.
Tans come out and foetus lake a man you you you had that in your back pocket all podcast
you've been waiting to throw that one down haven't you geez you've been over excited about it
I've been touring with Andrew Maxwell who's a who's an Irish man and I think look those
three lads there right with the balaclavas and the guns and the bloke sitting at the desk going
we will not have they weren't titans of industry in Ireland they weren't Ireland's greatest
blokes they're not like bank managers and stuff like that they're unemployed blokes with too much
time with their heads we're deperson yeah we'll we'll do what we come i don't think one of those
guys would do a starvation thing in prison where they just sit there with shit smear on the walls
like the proper IRA people but it's really interesting to because i'm so used to seeing videos like
that with the um sword and like the arabic writing you know and it's like it's nice to see it's
back with the Irish flag.
This is the thing as well,
you don't know under the Balaclavas
what nationality they are.
They might just be some Asian blokes
putting on a voice.
Oh, you think they're like,
you think they're recent migrants
jeeing up like phony haycrums?
You're saying they're like Jesse Smollett's.
They're Jesse Smollett.
Yeah, that's what's happened.
Jesse O Smollett.
Yeah.
Jesse O Smollett.
I don't like what's been going on in my country.
He's a good actor.
Jesse Smollett.
He can do it.
He can pull it off.
So that's what we're walking into with Ireland.
But listen, you know, I'll talk about this to anyone while I'm blue in the face.
Yes, insane levels of...
Till I'm blue in the face.
Not while I'm blue in the face.
While you're blue in the face means you're suffocating from talking too much.
And I'll keep going.
And even though it's killing me, I still have to say it.
But, yeah, I don't think any country's crazy shit hot about the fucking sex ed lessons
that kids are getting a bad gender.
And there has been an overreach of bizarre cultural leftism
that is making a snapback that's not good.
I will, I look, I agree.
I agree with this one.
I've seen it happen firsthand.
There has been an overreach with the schools
and how much they're talking about.
See, what I don't like is at the schools that are like this,
you might be bisexual, you might be this, you might be this,
you might be this, you might be that, you might be trans, you might be whatever.
And then like the kids, my son's age and that, a lot of them are like thinking,
I might be a bisexual, I might be gay, right?
There's no might about it.
You either are or you aren't.
I never struggled with being a heterosexual.
It was an urge that I couldn't control.
It's funny, because when it's introduced to kids, and we've seen it, and this is not two dudes
talking out of our ass, you've got kids in school, and I've got a brother and sister
who are 10 and 11 and like we're talking about like we're talking about in a class of of a
hundred at least like more than 10 are like yeah i'm this and they're like 10 year old kids
and then they go no i'm not actually i don't know just just introduced to me and all i can think is
uniformity when you're young is actually good it's not a bad thing it's just another thing to
be bullied about and that's why i liked having a uniform of like make less choices you're still
figuring out the world you don't really know what you are you shouldn't
have to announce yourself as anything at an age like that. You're discovering your preferences on
everything. What you need to learn is tolerance of others, right? You need to learn tolerance of
others. You need to learn, okay, when it comes to sex and all that type of stuff, teach them,
put on condoms, teach them consent, you know, and this is how you do it and try to be responsible
and don't get someone pregnant, the end, right? But this whole, what gender you might be or whatever,
But if the kid has a issue, they'll voice it.
They're not, like, don't be afraid to say something, I guess.
But this whole idea they're asking the kids what they are in class,
I don't want my kid to be anything at fucking tent.
I don't want my kid to be anything.
Just teaching the fucking birds of the bees and fuck off.
There's every chance that if I was a school,
being the little showoff that I was, I would have been like,
I'm demisexual.
Mate, mate.
I would starve for attention and wanting to feel
special and also
I've said this before. My mother
had Munchausen's. This is not
no ifs or buts. My mother
right up until the fucking end,
my mother had Munchazen, right up until the
fucking last breath she ever breathed.
Hey, I saw the size of that woman. She kept munching
in the house, that's for sure. My mother
you're speaking about. Anyway, so
my mother, right up to the end,
told me that my father had dementia.
Your father has
dementia. She was doing it to him.
She's been dead for fucking six years.
that can't remember is more than me.
He's got no dementia.
There's nothing wrong with him.
There's nothing wrong with him.
I thought he was dying.
Dude, she maybe was slipping him supplements to make him seem dopey.
Look, he's not, look, he's not Einstein, but he wasn't in his face.
No, he's not.
You know what I mean?
But his stupidity hasn't increased.
Do you think your mum could have trained your father to believe that he was a,
repressed bisexual?
My mother wanted a daughter, and that's the only reason I was born, right?
She wanted a daughter.
When I didn't come out as a daughter, she didn't unwrap the, didn't do the nappy and
wouldn't hold me for several days because she was depressed.
If she knew there was a way to change my gender at a young age, we might have had a problem.
Well, it wouldn't have been a problem.
You'd be, you'd have a beautiful modern man-made pussy.
Well, I don't know.
And you'd be, you know, it would have happened.
You and Hannah Gatsby would have been friends.
Maybe good friends.
Great friends.
You would have gone on her Netflix special.
That's why my beard's gone great.
Thinking about the different trajectory of your life.
Well, anyway, that's what's happening right now.
I also want to say, I'm not putting any hate out there for any trans kids.
I'm not putting any hate out there for people who are struggling in this world,
who are having a bit of problems or whatever.
I'm not putting any hate out for bisexuals and gay people and all that type of stuff.
I'm just saying let people find this shit out on their own.
You know, kids, my son's age, who are saying they're bisexual or they're, you know, all right.
I don't know.
And you know what?
Even if they are, there's soon to be pills to be increasing your tolerance on that.
And also, wait until you're in fucking college.
Give it a go in college.
See how you go.
Yeah, like, I'll tell you this much about being bisexual or whatever.
One cock in your mouth, you'll find out pretty quick.
I had a good friend who did that.
You know what he said to me?
He goes, I don't believe that, he goes, I don't believe you should just say that you're straight until you've sucked one dick or had your dick sucked.
He goes, so I gave it a go.
And he goes, and the moment that that guy put his dick in my mouth, I was very, very, very confident that I am a true heterosexual.
Right.
And he goes, I'm braver than you.
He goes, you don't know.
He goes, I know.
He goes, that's how I know I'm straighter than you.
Because I tried cock and didn't like it.
You might still like it.
So you're gayer than me.
I feel like this guy's making a play.
I'll put my cock in your mouth and we'll see if you are.
And then we'll be a couple of heterosexuals.
If you don't let me put my dick in your mouth,
I'll be telling everyone you're a homosexual because you're a coward.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow and book a rest
And we'll see the rest of you on our European tour
But until then, hang in there Venezuelan fishermen
Peace out
Hold on to those bits of boat
Try to keep your head under the water
For a few minutes
Don't wave
Whatever you do, don't wave
Do you reckon there's one Venezuela's fisherman
That's like, no, this is a bad day for me to wear fluoro
Dude, to look up and there's a helicopter and Arthur, the kid's character, has a bazooker.
It's Pete Hegseth dressed as Arthur, shooting you.
What a fucking psycho.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Thank you.
You know,
