I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 51 - Those Pesky Woke Wars

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

At this moment, Jim and Amos make fun of Pete Hegseth calling the war with Iran a "politically incorrect war." They also discuss Bill Clinton's deposition and the NRL. Jim's special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix! ADS: MONARCH: Use code ATM at http://www.monarch.com for half off your first year. That’s 50% off your first year at monarch dot com with code ATM. MOOD: Head to http://www.mood.com, find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. Don't forget to use promo code ATM when you check out to save 20% on your first order. SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠ FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠   Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠   Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

Set yourself up for financial success in 2026 with Monarch, the all-in-one tool that makes proactive money management simple all year long. Use code ATM at Monarch.com for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year at Monarch.com with code ATM. Hey and welcome to At This Moment with me, Jim Jeffries, and I'm here with Amos. Gil. Hello Amos. How are you today, mate? Very good, Jim. And we had a long podcast today. day discussing. Too long, too long, many would argue. You can stop at any time. Just get halfway through it if you can. Yes, this is one of Jack's hardest edit jobs. So God knows how this will turn out and good luck to you, Jack, as we discuss Operation Epic Fury. Epic Fury. We talk about how wonderful my gigs went in Las Vegas. We talk about Bonnie Blue a little bit, but most of the story is going to be Iran. And the big question we answered today was, was that the Ayatollah or was it Jim Carrey in a mask?

All this and more. I told you're different. I got gigs coming up. Hershey, Pennsylvania, March 13th. Boston, tickets selling fast. There's only less than a quarter of the tickets left for that in the Wang Theatre. And Dallas. They're my next show.

Dallas and Austin. So they're my next two weeks. Hershey, Boston, Dallas, Austin. Go to Jim Jeffries.com for all your ticketing needs. I'm at the Adelaide Fringe, everybody. Come see me. I'm here for the entire month. And then other than that,

back in the United States. I'm, actually, my next Northern American stuff is going to be in Canada. I'm going to be doing a big Canada tour. But Jim, let's Nestle back and get into the podcast. Hello, everyone. Welcome to that at this moment. How are you doing, Amos? You had a good weekend?

Yes, very good, mate. I'm back in Australia. I started at the fringe. I've spent a week sleeping on my own couch because I gave forest my bed. Yeah. And our manager rents out your house. in a wonderful situation you've got going. So I'm sleeping on the couch and then the last two nights I said, Forrest,

I need my bed back. It's just I need, so I put Forrest on the couch. And I'll tell you what Andrew did to Forrest that really upset him. Andrew has a really furry blanket to the couch. And he hit it because he goes, I don't want Forrest in it. It'll be all sweaty and smell and my girlfriend won't like it. That's. And then Forrest spent the whole night.

like this? Where's the blanket? You can't do this to me. He stinks worse than I do, just because I'm fat. Yeah, yeah. And Forrest doesn't sweat. You watch the Jim Jeffries piece where he plays Del Griffin and he's taking the abortion guy along and he goes, my feet sweat, but the rest of me, I don't sweat. So I've just, I've had my first night sleep in an actual bed and I am a little jet lagged and what about you, Matt? You've been away. I was just in Vegas. The gig, was unbelievable. Do you know what happened at the gig that was so cool was completely sold out every seat, but it was half American, one quarter Australian and one quarter British. And I've never had that perfect amount of all the countries I've lived in in the one room ever. You know,

I could really play the audience off each other. It was a lot of fun. But I did have a misstep the day before. I don't think you had a misstep. I think events planning had a misstep. I think events planning had a step yeah fans planning the nrl the national rugby league uh was um in Vegas uh working there and they said to me oh can you come to a party and i was like uh i i'm actually coming in the day of the show i'd mean a lot to us if you came to party and i was like uh and then ring andrew and go oh i look they've you know they've they've plugged your gigs and they've been very nice to me the nrrl and um and i said oh okay i'll come to the party and then then and then they're like oh you'll just be getting up and doing some stand-up.

I thought it was a party. What am I getting up? No, they say, you won't be getting up doing a stand-up. They go, I get up and say a few words, which is code for stand-up. Well, when your job is talking for a living, when someone says, would you like to say a few words, you go, that is my job. Yeah, yeah, and I'm trying to sell tickets to people to see it the next night. Like, you just got up there and went, gnais-day guys, happy to be here and made the best team win? Comedians take it up the ass with these situations.

You would never get a footballer. I'd kick a few goals for the people just before the game the next day. You know, you would never do this, right? Anyway, so I said, oh, no, no, I don't really want to get up and do stand-up and all this type of stuff. And they go, oh, we'll just bring in stage, we'll ask a few questions. Now, I thought I was going to, like, something in a ballroom or something like that, you know. A function room, maybe a few ex-pros talking. Yeah, one of the convention halls in one of the big hotels in Vegas.

No, it was on Fremont Street, right? Fremont Street, it was between 10 and 15,000, mostly British, I'll say. I'd say 50% British, fucking who had been drinking since midday in the most nefarious street in the world. Like, if you walk along there, you'll see, you know, naked women with tape over their nipples for photos. I once saw someone organizing a dog fight in Fremont Street, right? I didn't know. Michael Vic was a guy that spent time on Fremont. Just to put it into context, yeah.

There's people zip lining over people drinking out of those long dacquerie containers. And there's a restaurant there called Heart Attack Grill, where if you're over 300 pounds on entry, you eat for free until you die. Exactly. Yes. They weigh you as you go in. And if you're over 300 pounds, you get a free meal, heart attack grill. This is what we're dealing with, right? So I went and did radio.

The guy, the radio 2GB guy was really nice. And then someone was texting me. I still don't know who this person is, but they were like, oh, when are you? arriving at the thing and I'm like okay so now I know it's freeman street I'm like I don't is there backstage is there no one knew right they get this guy to come pick me up he works for rugby league this is he he picks me up in a taxi we go there should be a car but he goes it takes me all the way out there in a taxi then he's like this oh I don't have my credit car with me can you pay right so already I'm paying for the cab right what you will about the AFL they

wouldn't do that to you. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, well, I don't, my car doesn't work. I don't know. Well, I don't know. The car doesn't work. And I, and I started, I started saying to anyone who'd listen the whole day, I was like this, I don't think this is going to work. I don't think me standing in front of 15,000 people who were daydering, because before me, there was a band, and then there was a magician. And, and I said, I don't know if the audience are going to want to hear me. That's one of my favorite things. If there's anything comedians have a talent for. it is just understanding, like, in a prophetic sense, how something might. Oh, I knew the day before it wouldn't work.

And then the day of, I was positive. I was like, this can't work. Comedy will not work in this environment. There is no way to get anything done, right? Anyway, so I show up there and the lady's like, oh, you're on in a minute. And I went, I don't even know what I'm doing. Who am I talking to? Nothing.

Oh, our host will ask you a few questions. And there's two blokes out there, one Australian, one America. guy and they're getting nothing. There's go-go dances on fucking poles around the place. As I said, I walk past a topless woman with tape over her tits. And 15,000 sport fans are just wanting to drink publicly.

15,000 people who just want to drink in the street and have these big margarita. They're having a good time, right? So, no one has given me any instructions, not one instruction, right? What do you think I do? I go out, there's 15,000 people. I go, how the fuck are you guns doing? We're

Where the fuck is my English fans? Give me away. Where's my Australian fans? Whoa. Now you two cunts fucking fight. And I said, you Australian, I said, Australians are the biggest degenerate fucking gamblers in the world. Vegas has been a bit of a lull since Donald Trump's here in tourism.

I'm paraphrasing, right? I go, welcome to Las Vegas. Way, like that, right? And they go, so how's you? Then the guy goes, so what can we expect from your tour? And I was like, and I was like this. you know, I'm going to be touring all over Australia, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the English crowd started going, who are you?

But they were having fun with me because I said the fight thing. I was the first person to elicit a response out of these people in any way, right? Anything. Who are you, who are you? And I went, you know, the fuck I was. I was touring there last month, you cunts. And they went, whey, right? Exactly, right?

All in good nature. Everyone's getting along. All in good nature. And then this is the bit where I let myself down. where I could have done better. At the end, and I could have done the joke better and everything. The guy asked me the weirdest question, he said, he said, apart from seeing shows and gambling, what else is there to do in Vegas?

And I said, prostitutes, right? I, you know, I'm in the middle, Fremont Street. Look, I don't know if you've heard my stand-up before. This is sort of how I roll. You know, so I said, I said, I know it's legal and it's right. It's actually illegal here, but I say prostitutes is what I should have just said prostitutes. Funny your line. Anyway, I get, oh, they go, all right, that's Jim Jeffries.

I take the microphone. I do a big celebrationary to the crowd. I walk off and the lady's there and she's like, she's like, there was children in the audience. On Fremont Street. Yeah, on Fremont Street. In the middle of a rugby mellow. Day drinking. Anyone who has their kids fucking out there right now, fucking good.

But here's my thing. I kept on asking everyone, what's happening, what's happening, what's happening. because I was such a small part of their day, I know they had to worry about the rugby players, they had to worry about the bands, they had to worry. They thought, no one told me,

if you say don't swear. But to be fair, like, I can't imagine a chick from PR who works in Sydney on her first trip to Vegas would be like, brief the comedian. Hi, Jim.

Can you just not tell people to fuck prostitutes? Yeah, no, I'd take fault for that. That I'd take complete fault for. This is the best bit is that Jim was calling me. me, comedian to comedian and to Andrew, our manager going, man, I don't want to do this thing. And our manager is like, you'll be right, mate. You buddy get up there and you just say, hey, go the bears.

Nothing bad's going to happen. And then you called us, we're like, I told everyone to fuck prostitutes. I've had a meltdown. And then our manager who defends you to the hilt goes, well, what else do you do in Vegas? Yeah. Yeah, look. You're like, you're like, you're book Jim Jeffries. You're going to get some swear words.

That's 100% on event planning. What do you think he's going to do? If I do morning radio, you won't hear me swear. Because I know I'm not meant to swear. And because they tell me every time, don't swear. Right. If I'm... We booked Bonnie Blue and she was very sexually suggestive for a daytime show.

I've done Celebrity Wheel of Fortune, mate. All right? I didn't go like, all right. No fucking bankrupt. I'll have a fucking tea. I didn't do that. I'll take a C for cunt. I didn't do it.

I didn't win either, though. But that's my point. You were messaging me like, is it big news in Australia? And I said, I've got to be honest with you, Jim, the death of the Ayatollahs got you pegged. Yes. Yes. Ayatollahs in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan. Russian.

Prostitutes in the win. Jim Jeffrey swore in the city of sin I well look I I didn't but then the next day I was meant to go to the rugby league and they just ignored me I was like I was in the naughty book but look if you did get in any trouble which of course you wouldn't because you know you're at an event

in Vegas you just have to say it wasn't me it was a face mask the same one that Jim Carrey's been here here I will say the fucking Sydney Morning Herald or the morning telegraph or something wrote an article it went Jim Jeffries show was cut short by English heckling. That's a load of fucking bullshit. I was making the British do that. And I wasn't doing a comedy set, as we've just seen. All I was doing is who's from here, who's from there, answering a couple of questions, way, way, saying fuck too many dollars.

Now also, when you walk out in front of 15,000 drunk people who aren't there to watch you, it's terrifying. It's really, really fucking scary. Your body goes into fight or flight. And it turns out that When my body goes into fight, it says fuck a lot. Oh, yeah. Well, that's like me when I open for your audience sometimes, you know. They're not there to see you. You're like, let me just cling on to whatever I can get here. Jim's coming out.

Make some noise for him. Come on. Who's getting fucked up tonight? Come on. Yes, yes. Yeah. And those people are there to see comedy. Now, imagine they're not there to see comedy.

And they're fucking, you couldn't see, you couldn't see past them. They went that far back. They just kept on going and going and going. And anyway, no one. Everyone who came to the gig had a good time. And look, I wish I played the situation differently. I don't know how you play the situation. Now, we're going to do, obviously,

I want to do a couple of small stories with you quickly. This is how I would have played the situation differently. No. Bad idea. No. I was, how many days ahead was I saying this won't work? The whole way out. The whole way.

From the moment you were told about it. This is the thing. Every comedian, every entertainer gets told the most powerful word is no. And, gee, we never say it. No, we do say it and people just don't listen. Well, that is true. They tell you to say no, but what they don't tell you is that people will follow up and then you'll say yes. I've only got one no to me.

I say five noes to every yes. I'm like... We get groomed, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just like, just stick it in me and leave. Just get it over and done with... Yeah, man. There is no way that...

Because you have to think about it. You go, what's the best... best case scenario there. That's what I was saying to Andrews said, what was the upside? What was the upside for them? What was the upside for me? What was the upside for anybody? I don't understand.

It's like I used to do stadium announcing for sporting games when I was a radio guy. And I remember they said to me, we don't really get any laughs at the stadium. And you're a comedian. They go, maybe you'll get some laughs at half time when you interview the mascots or whatever. If you want to see someone struggle more, look. at anyone doing a stadium announcing, whether it's the Dodgers, Giants, whatever it is. No, no, no.

I would eat shit in front of 50,000 people. There's a girl at the Clippers who's so good because she just keeps everything upbeat. Here we go, Clipper Nation, like this, right? She never gets any bloody laughs, though. She's never got the laugh. Have you ever seen an emceeat or anything like that? And she's the best. I would love to know who is the best actually eliciting laughs.

Because really, when a crowd is that big, All they want are tits, fights, people slipping over and people making out on a big screen or getting denied to make out on the big screen. This is what I tried to do. Tried to make them all fight and all that type of stuff. Look, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you this. People wrote some articles. The show was about four hours long and people wrote a whole lot of articles about the show and I was the only person who was mentioned.

So there you go. Right. Let's get into some news stories. All publicity is bad publicity. Jim Carrey. Was that him or was that not him? That was Jim Carrey. That was Jim Carrey.

It's Jim Carrey's voice. He's gone a little weird because he's conscious of his face. So he's just like, he's come out of plastic surgery and fillies. He's like, oh, that's greed. Oh. He's doing that. That's him. But you believe it's not?

Well, I legitimately thought it was that makeup artist who was posing as him. Because I thought Jim Carrey, Jim Carrey is always like, I'm beyond this now. I've reached a Zen where I don't need to receive awards and the Illuminati controls Hollywood and I don't want to be a part of their game and he disappears and then I was like, why would he be at this French event? Because his face is recovering.

That's why he disappears. And also it's in France. And also he does get, look, there's footage of this man when he was 15, 16 years old going, I'm going to be famous, yeah. Like this, right? Like in pulling faces and all this type of stuff, right?

He used to say, I used to practice in the mirror of faces and stuff like that. He's an extraordinarily talented man who's wanted to be famous. He's an entire life. That's all he knows. That's all he knows. And you want to say, oh, now he's into fucking painting in his garage. Well, you know, and like everyone, we're all vain.

I'll tell you what, I'll probably get a facelift in 10 years if the face. Actually, I was never known for me. He looks, but I've done me teeth and stuff like that. I can't, I can't begrudge someone. All I'll say is this. Maybe it was him. It was him. Okay, if it wasn't him, why hasn't he come out and said it wasn't him?

Because he's dead. If you say that he's a person who I don't need fame, right? He doesn't need fame. And then all of a sudden, but I'm not going to say that's an imposter? Listen, at this point of the conspiracy world that we're in, I wouldn't be surprised if he knew what was going on at some of those eyes wide-shut parties and they've killed him and someone's playing the role of Jim Carrey. I know a few people.

Remember when he went on Jimmy Kimmel? and he was like, ah, and he was doing all the Eliminati shit. And he was like, it's a sick world out there, the things that happen in this town. I know someone who knows him relatively well, and they say it's him. Well, listen, it probably was him. Maybe it was him. I'll go that far. But I'll say this much.

If it is him, geez, it's a tough scroll going through the news sources when everyone goes, that cunt has to have been cloned. Like, you've got to call your plastic surgeon and go, are you reading this shit, mate? Are you happy with your work? No, but this is the thing. He does look younger. He does look younger. It's just that we're not used to the new head yet.

See, the biggest problem with being famous is, not the biggest problem, there's loads of problems with it, but one of the biggest problems with being famous is every time that someone meets you, you're the oldest you've ever been, right? So if someone meets you in an airport, they always, like, curl back, like, oh, because they've just watched a special of yours that you filmed 10 years ago, and in your head you're that person. So we have a Jim Carrey in our fucking head.

hand. Now, in reality, he's probably, at his age, completely grey, right? And so you make that just white hair coming off him. Oh, now you've got a new character, right? But, Doc. Yeah, but if, like, so, okay, so, um, Chris Jenna. Chris Jenna has a facelift. Everyone agrees is a good facelift, right? Same with Denise Richards has also had a really banging facelift, the two of them. You put the facelifts up, Jack, right? They look completely different in these women, but everyone goes, how good do they look? When a man does it and they look completely different, we don't look at it objectively.

We just go, weird, not real. Because men are not meant to be vain. It's not what we're after. So look at this woman here, right? She doesn't look like the same bloody lady, but she's had a good job done. She looks good. I mean, she went from like, yeah, look at that.

She looks like she could be one of the girls that Jeffrey Epstein was trafficking over there. She looks like 19. She looks like Kim's sister now. Like they did a good job, but she doesn't look anything like the photo on the right. You get what I'm saying? And so now get me Denise Richards' facelift, right? So they get a facelift.

It turns out really good. And we're just like, she looks completely different. Brilliant. Who's your doctor? Right? A man gets a face lift. He looks completely different. Kill yourself.

You're a disgrace. Do they have a? dare you try to look younger. Do you think we should just completely normalize it? And then at the Oscars, they do have best facelift, best work done? And the nominees are? I think we should have the plastics. Now, that should just be one of the Oscars.

And they go around and whoever had the best work done that year, the surgeon collects. Yeah, but the problem is, the problem is, with this one, Denise Richards, they put a photo of her up when she was 30. No, that's not good. She looks like she's melting in a fire. Yeah, but they don't put the picture of it from like last year. You know what I mean? They're not putting the 2025 picture up there.

No, I've got nothing but love but, niece Richards. For that there, you have to, yep, the best plastic surgery is when you don't know. You know, you've got to go gracefully. You can't keep looking like you're an only fan's model as you age. It's got to be subtle. It's got to be subtle. A lot of people don't know that I'm Hannah Gatsby. Have you seen the two of us in the same room?

Yeah, you're on the whole. hormone, you're on the hormones. That's why that beard's like half coming in. I didn't mean it like that's your mean-spirited. You're a bloody nasty man, you are? I don't know how you get around these comedy clubs and the dressing rooms. The things you say about other comics. Fucking nasty, nasty, man.

Anyway, Jim Kerry, good luck to your mate. You got high cheekbones. I think the hair makes you look a little sillier than anything. Get the short haircut. Get back. And also, you know one of the problems with the Jim Carrey thing is he's known for his rubbery face? and you've taken away the rubbiness.

Like, you might as well just have jails and just, oh, and just do some funny things with that. Now that it's everything's like tuck up and, well, we want comedians to go out looking ugly and, like, and funny looking as you get older. But obviously, people still want to be fuckable. And that's the eternal battle for comedians where they're like, do I want to look funny? Or do I, that's why you've got to stay married as a comedian. He never got married, did he? He has a daughter. He had with, I believe, a waitress from the improv, I believe.

There's nothing that kills you as a comedian more than the pursuit of wanting to appear sexy. That's the enemy of comedy. The problem is, so at the moment, I'm at 210, which is, okay, 200, I'm good looking. 190, I'm good looking, not good. I look good on screen, like in, in, in, in him, I was 190. So I'm 20 pounds heavier than I was in him. Now I'm in my, if I go another 20 pounds, I get,

funny, but right now I'm just sad fat. That's what my father-in-law tells me. Look at those tities. I got titties. My father-in-law always says that, and he goes, you are in, what I would imagine is no man's land. Because if you got really fat like me, that's a cool guy to have a beer with. Yeah. But if you got really skinny, you could be like that gay comedian Matt Rife.

But right now, you are just a schlub who doesn't take care of himself. That's exactly right. Now I look like I've got a bit of depression. That's what it is. That's what the mid-tier weight is. Oh, he's gone through something. But you get really fat, they go, that guy loves his life. He gets out there, he party.

Party animal. Yeah, there's nothing worse than being in the mid zone for anything like that. Now, let's get into some news, some real shit. Well, we've talked about big things. There's nothing else going on in the world. What else you got for me? Obviously, we have Operation Epic Fury, but I might end on that. before that, I want to come back to what has been going on.

The biggest news of all, Bonnie Blue isn't pregnant. A lot of people thought she was pregnant because she told her she was. And it was just for us to watch a new video of her fucking a guy and a doctor's out. So she's not pregnant. Well, not in that footage she isn't where the doctor's fucking. It didn't seem like a baby came out in the end of his cock or anything like that. Nothing happened. No, no.

No, well, I mean, because I got inundated with listeners of this thing. You have to address the Bonnie Blue pregnancy thing. No, I want to It turns out that's a myth also Yeah, it turns out Fake news Fake news Completely fake news

Maybe the gang bang was AI Can you trust anything on the internet Anymore? Annal's a virgin She's a fucking virgin This is This is all bollocks man Everything's a lie

AI porn Jesus That's the most painful Of all the porn Come in your eyes And come in your ass So she So she, Amity she was pregnant

Jack just looked at me The disappointment Of 15,000 people In Fremont Street If she is pregnant, that's one of the greatest Mori Povich episodes of all time. That's a Netflix special. That's a, many, many episodes. And people have to show up and give the DNA.

Can I still wear my ski mask? I just want to wear the ski mask until I know off the shore. That's what it is. This is how I'm going to, like, back in the day, I remember, like my dad saying with tattoos, Like you don't want to have tattoos If you commit a crime or something People can tell you your tattoos Or something like that, right?

This is how I think I'll tell my boys When they're a bit older, right? Don't get tattoos If you get tattoos You can't have sex with Bonnie Blue With the other thousand blokes The ski mask isn't enough Someone will be able to identify you

You'll leave a cat suit Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You don't want any defining marks or you'll never get to have sex with Bonnie Blue I'd cut all my moles out if I was you All right, Bill, Clinton, let's get into it. Speaking of, speaking of guys, speaking of, speaking of guys who have worn ski masks and had sex

with body blue. That is who the father is, by the way. It's Bill Clinton. Yeah, he's like, hey, how are you going? Oh, okay. All right. So Bill Clinton and Hillary were brought in to be deposed. Yes.

Over their connections to Jeffrey Epstein. First of all, Bill Clinton was saying, I don't think you should bring my wife in here. She's got nothing to do with it. You know, she's here because of me. He was doing that. All she does is film. She doesn't get physically involved. And Bill Clinton was getting deposed, and there's a few things that I found amazingly funny.

Number one, Bill and Jack, get ready for this clip. I've got some clips to show. Bill Clinton being shown photos of girls in jacuzis with him, he's meant to be identifying them and saying, is this you? And it does look for a moment. he's sort of having a horny flashback of trips gone past. Have a look at this. Here we go.

Oh, yeah. Get that back. We got copies of this? Oh, yeah. Look at him, licking the finger. Okay. She's like, get that away from him. We have about five minutes remaining in the majority's first hour.

So I just want to ask you, some questions related to he looks like he wants to high-five the guy next to him Maxwell and it's like he's lawyer next to him she's like I thought you'd like that she's like I just needed to keep you energy like also the licking of the finger to turn the page is that only the elderly or is that a lost art

like having to have a wet finger to turn a page like that right because I remember my mother doing it when she was my age I don't see anyone my age doing it I've never seen you do it and Jack doesn't do it. No, that's definitely an old, that's an old school thing. And it's also,

there's something about him looking at a woman. Jack just has if it worked. Yeah, get a book. Get a book. It works all right. Because it gives you a bit of stick to your finger. There's that old joke about, there's a guy in,

you got to give it here. You go like this. You go like this. You go, you go. Perfect. There's a little bit. There's an old joke. There's a guy laying in.

People also don't read anymore. There's a guy laying in. bed reading a book saying next to his wife and he reaches over and he puts a finger in a pussy and she goes oh yeah for a fuck he goes no just need to turn the page so should have told that on free one street what was i thinking people would have that they would have gone for that who are you set yourself up for financial success this year monarch is the all in one personal finance tool the side designed to make your life easier it brings your entire financial life budgeting accounts and investments net worth and future planning

together in one dashboard on your phone or your laptop. Feel aware and in control of your finances this year and get 50% off your monarch subscription with code ATM. That's 50% off your monarch subscription with code ATM. My favourite part of Monarch, Jim, is the weekly recaps where I can see my incomings and my outgoings, and you do occasionally have a week where you think, good Lord, I've been living like I'm some kind of prince.

I might need to get that under control. When you have to track your finances, you think, how much do I spend on bagels? You can use Monarch to track your finances, what you're spending, what your subscriptions are. And when you look at it laid out for you, you know what it's like, Jim? What? You've ever seen on the biggest loser where they would go, I don't think I eat too much food? And then they dump all the food out on the table and they go, that is all right of food. That's how I feel using Monarch.

I go, oh, that is my outgoings. perhaps I do need to tighten up at the moment because I don't have a lot of incomings and it's nice to visually see that. The way they visually show it to you is through pie charts and line charts and bar charts. Like you actually see you spend this much on a pie chart on entertainment, this much on your streamers, this much on your savings, this much on your investment, this much on your wife. That's a thin little line at the top.

A visual picture of your portfolio performance in relation to the S&P, 500. That's also there. So you can see how you're going against that. Now, let's set yourself up for financial success this year. Monarch, the all-in-one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life, budgeting, accounts, and investments, net worth and future planning together in one dashboard on your phone or laptop. Feel aware and in control of your finances this year and get 50% off your Monarch subscription with the code ATM. That's 50%. Get on it. Take control of your financial future. Did you know that there's an online cannabis company that ships federally legal, THC, right to your door?

Did you know that, Amos? I did know it because it's our great sponsor, Mood. Love Mood. They give me gummies, bake goods, flour, whatever type of buzz you want. I'm talking about Mood.com. They have a selection of different edibles, pre-rolls and more. Mood believes that cannabis should be accessible, affordable, convenient and transparent. Yeah, well, you know, Jim, here's the different products.

We talk about it each week. Which one are you into? The Sleepy Time Advanced Gummies? A mind-suthing calm each night. The sexual euphoria advanced gummy. The morning, Delta-9 gummies. The Mind Magic Gummies for Focus, Deep Work and Enhanced Creativity or the Pure Relief CBD Gummies.

Personally for me, I'm more of a CBD pure relief for my horrible needs. I'm telling you a fact that it's been a weekend in Vegas. So I was with the wife and I was using the sexual euphoria advanced gummies and then to sleep, Sleepy Time Advanced Gummies. I was double hitting there. Every mood. Yes. Every product is backed with a 100-day satisfaction guarantee,

and our listeners get 20% off their first order with code ATM. So head to mood.com, find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for and let mood help you discover your perfect mood. Don't forget to use the promo code ATM. When you check out for 20% off your first order. That's mood.com. Use the code ATM at the checkout for 20% off your first in time. purchase if you're a first time buyer. Get on it. Change your mood. ADM. Prima.

Bill Clinton was then also asked about whether or not it's true the accusation that Jeffrey Epstein made about him that he likes them young. And this is what Bill said in response to that. Like them young. Why would Epstein say that about you? Are you asking his opinion? You're asking him to think about why Mr. Epstein would say something about him? Why would Epstein say that about the president? So she's asking you to try to be in Mr. Epstein's mine and guess at what Mr. Epstein would have thought about. Good boy. He likes them young referring to girls.

You got me. First of all, that's not true. What's not true? That I have any interest in underage. I didn't say underage, I said, I said young. But it's still not true. Is an intern young? Oh.

Yeah, I, yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. He's an intern young. Yeah, but you know who else was younger than him? I don't think he wants the intern now. He can't have them older than him. They're all dead.

You know what I mean? Like, like, like, like, you know what's young to him? 70. 70 is a younger woman. I, I didn't like them young. Would an intern be young? Oh, fuck off. I'm with Bill on this way.

I'm like, fuck off. He's saying he didn't like them young. the president of the United States at the time and he's fucking a junior intern. So he does like his women younger. Many men like the women younger. He's saying, not underage, but I do like them young. He then went on to say...

As long as they're legally aged or whatever. You know, anyway, go on. He then went on to say this, which a lot of people are wondering whether or not there's a deal cut here. I don't have the clip of this one because I didn't send it through to Jack. But he said that Donald Trump was not associated with Epstein in anyway in any of these nefarious things and he knew the two met intimately. I do love when presidents and they're on different sides of the field, they all get together, don't they?

Like they're all mates behind closed doors because, you know, they've got a job that only a handful of people in the world have ever had. You know what I mean? So I understand. You're always bonded by that. Yeah, yeah, they're always bonded by that. Because we all hated George Bush. Everyone hated George Bush. My, 20-something years ago, when I was doing stand-up comedy,

in England, George Bush was every fucking punchline and everyone was like, oh, can you believe George Bush in America? America's gone to shit, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we're just going through it again. And then I remember, like, seeing George Bush hanging out with Bill, who he calls a brother. Bill and George call each other's brothers, right? And I was like, no, Bill, you can't be hanging out with that warmonger. And now, when George Bush is on screen, a smile comes on my face every time.

And you know who's not in the Epstein files? George Bush. That's my favorite meme of the last week is that picture of George Bush smiling. And it says, not in the Epstein files. So he just bombed the Middle East for the love of the game. Wasn't blackmailed in any way. Just wanted to see the hardware in action. So I've got one other thing I was going to say about that.

You know, George, because Bush, I haven't seen for a while. I'm just watching our manager wander around. He's having a V8 green tomato juice. That's what the elderly do. They think that gets all their own. Why do you have a veggie juice? This is his, as he calls it. Now I get my vegetables into myself.

His bloody Mary zero. And then I walk around just eating kebabs until I pass out. Andrew, just come over here. Come on the podcast. I don't think he's ever been on the podcast. Yeah, we're about to be on, we're about to talk about. No, no. How dare you ask Andrew to do something out of his comfort zone?

Goody. Hello. He didn't. He said. said he didn't want to be on this, but I thought I'd push him into it and see if he makes a mistake. I can't hear Jim, though. Yeah, but... There you go.

There you go. Andrew, why did you make Jim Jeffries say that he likes prostitutes in Vegas? I tried to stop him saying it, actually. Really? You weren't there. You didn't try to stop me. You tried to stop me the day afterwards. You ask me why. That's not stopping it. That's shutting the door after the horse is bolted. It's plausible deniability. I wasn't there. I couldn't have helped it. Also, I'm an honest man.

If anything, I am an honest man, if someone asked me what to do in Vegas besides gambling and go watch entertainment, I will say my third choice. Not everyone's third choice, though. People do say to you all the time, be honest in life. And that's what you get. That's what you get for your honesty. With my wife, with my wife. I just want to add, with my wife.

Yeah. It's a team event, yeah. So let's get Andrew. Has there been any blowback? We like the Clinton. Let's ask right now, Andrew, has there been any blowback? Because Jim was worried about, has there been any blowback officially for his comments in Fremont Street when he sullied that very clean, pure place? In that den of iniquity where he said a couple of choice words, there has been no blowback whatsoever, unsurprisingly.

In front of some day time drinking. Now also, we haven't talked about this yet, but we're about talking about Iran, but Kyle and Jackie O' have broken up. How can I tear up with Jackie O and get that radio spot? Let's just get that contract done right away. I'll drop Amos like fucking nothing. Like a hot potato, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'll be right up with Kyle. Or I'll go with Kyle. I'll go with Kyle. I'll go with Kyle or Jackio. I feel like I'd probably get annoyed by the horoscopes as well. So maybe I'll go Kyle. I'll have a think about it. See what you can get me.

Come back to me. I'll test the waters. I'll check both sides of the aisle for you. All right, mate. All right. My hands getting so holding this microphone up here like this. There's Andrew. There he is, everybody.

The way that you two couldn't figure out to put the most inside ear pieces into each other, you had it reaching around your throat over to the other side, the fucking brain trust working overtime. Look at that. Don't talk about my tenant like that. Yeah. He calls me the landlord. There's nothing. nothing upsets him more.

He feels like a real cuck when I say that. Look at that walking around your house like yones the fucking place. There's nothing greater than being the landlord of your 60-year-old manager. I say to my wife. Can you not smoke in here, please? Yeah, true. Has he been? No, he's not smoking at all anymore.

He goes, you know what he has? He has this Nicorette spray, vape spray. It's all you hear in the house. Hucking it back. Yeah, it's fine. I'm so glad I had no more nicotine in my system. What a kind of a fucking drug that is to have in your system. Just the drug that's like, you need me to feel normal.

Do you want to feel normal? Have me again. I want to feel normal? You're not feeling normal. Have me again. Oh, God. What a fucking slay you out of that shit drug. This is really like very esoteric Australian news.

But Kyle and Jackie O, the biggest Australian radio show in history. I was joking around then, but I don't want to take it out of context. I'm a big fan of both of them. I'm a big fan of the show. They've had me on many times. They've always been very fair and just with me, and they've supported my career. I've even co-hosted with Jackie when Kyle was off having his baby.

And I'm a big fan of both of them, and they've both been on Australian radio for a good 20-something years. For Americans who don't know, it's our sort of like shock-chok radio duo. It's if Howard Stern and Robin stop talking. That is what this is. 100% is. And the crazy thing is, what she quit for,

I think a lot of people can, this is the most relatable thing I've ever known about them, is Jackie talks about star signs a lot. Yes. And she was going to do the star signs of some celebrity or I don't know what the actual fight was. Me! Me!

I was on the last episode. She goes, it was my birthday. It was Valentine's Day. What, you broke up Kyle and Jackie O. Okay. So I think I was the last episode. I'm not sure. sure. There might have been episodes after me. But back on my birthday, and I think they had an I

aidas afterwards, it was like the 15th or 14th of February, right? And, and she was like, oh, I'm really into Star numbers. What was the exact time you were born? And I was like, I was born at 4.30pm, and she's like, ah, and I go, this is all rubbish. And then Kyle goes, oh, that's all rubbish. And then, and then, and then she goes, I'm going to get you your numbers together. You're going to be amazed. Anyway, I mean, she knows my email, and I just hadn't gotten it. And I was like, what? I was looking forward to me, bullshit numbers. And it turns out because she has bigger problems in her life than worrying about my star numbers.

But I was on the radio that day with them. Well, what happened was is Kyle said, listen, you've been off with the fairies. I think the old, so he's saying to her that he's sick of hearing about Star Sign stuff. And everyone at the station has noticed that, like, that she's, she's, she's dropped off. She's in La La Land with the fairies talking nonsense all the time about star signs and we're sick of hearing about the star signs. And she just went home and quit after their 20 something years together. That was the, of all the things that show's done, that just goes to show, you attack a woman about her love of horoscopes.

That's a red line. It's probably death by 1,000 nicks. But look, I have a lot of love for both of them. I hope they, at the very minimum, I hope they make up. they used to see each other for five hours every day for many, many years. And they always got along. And I've been on other radio shows, you know, like, look, it's no secret. I used to do Opie and Anthony, and it turned out they didn't get along, and then they

broke up. And I thought they were always getting along the whole time. So maybe I can't read a fucking room. Maybe I can't read a Fremont Street. But they always seemed like they got along. And, you know, look, it's. I'm quite bummed about this. It was a show that I used to do all the time.

I always used to look forward to it. And they're both supported me stand-up, and they're both great people. So I hope it works out for them. But legitimately, I think their contract was about a couple hundred million dollars, which is more than the value of the entire station. I think they were on like 20 million a year or something like that. Yeah, for five years or something.

For five years. Yeah. So that's like 100 million each, a $200 million deal. Not bad. Not bad for guessing, for doing morning radio in Australia. So let's be honest. You would wipe me like a dirty ass to get onto that show. With Mercury Rising, I would wipe you like a dirty ass.

Have you seen how I wipe a dirty ass? For the most part, it's just padding to begin with. For me, I got at a bidet, you'd hose me down like a dirty ass. I don't wipe right away. Only the finishing blows are done by the paper. So let's get into Iran, speaking of the finishing blows to a regime. This is how I get the paper off the real. We are in World War III.

It's been threatening for a long time. Of course, Israel and America are at a joint operation, Operation Epic Fury, which is such a Pete Hagseth name for something. Epic Fury. Of course, Pete Hakeseth said this is going to be... Epic Fury is the mode that your character goes into in Call of Duty when you've had a six kill streak. And you get a badge that goes, boom, Epic Fury. Because Fury kill is five kills on Call of...

a duty, but then six or ten would be like epic fury or something like that. It's very cooler duty. And Pete Hegseth, who's the minister, so a secretary of war, to be honest with you, people like me who thought Donald Trump might be the answer to ending the forever wars, we should have seen this coming when he did change it from Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of War. I'm sitting here now going, how did this happen? So you've actually, the people have been commenting that our political views have actually met in the middle over the course of this podcast. Like, I've gone more right, you've gone more left, and we've sort of met in the middle.

Because we had a phone call with you yesterday, and you said, I couldn't have been more wrong about Trump. I can't forgive myself. I was wrong. I was wrong. Now, after that, I thought I'd ring my other Trump supporter in my life, Mr. Gary Nugent, right? I rang him up, right?

And it was about midnight. Our time, was the middle of the day, his time. And I said, Dad, how you're fine? feeling about Trump. Oh, bloody hell, it's good thing that he got onto that Iran before they bloody blew up the world. They were only a couple of weeks out. Oh, no!

There are a couple of weeks away from that nuclear bomb. Benjamin Anjahou has said that when he had dark and full head of hair. They're always two weeks away. A couple of weeks away means that you've done testing, that you've had ones that have actually worked, that you've gone out to the desert and actually dropped one and all that type of stuff. This is how much bullshit a couple of weeks away is. I'm a couple of weeks away from.

going on a mass shooting. I have to get the gun from a shop, plan it, go out and shoot people. That doesn't mean I'm doing it and I'm in the process of doing it. A couple of weeks away means you've built the bomb, you just need to get the right trailer. We've built the bomb. You know what it is? We're waiting for the two keys for missile launch. Amazon hasn't delivered those yet.

That's what a couple of weeks away is. You haven't painted a funny little FU on the side of it for someone to see. You haven't paid. You haven't called it. Bertha or named it or anything like that, but it's built. That's what two weeks away is. Two weeks away is we've built it. Now, where should we drop it?

And it's like, they haven't built. If they after, how dare they after all those years of weapons of mass destruction think that they can give us the exact same playbook over again and we're going to go, okay. Well, you know, Fox News, elder viewers, as you were saying with your dad, they do buy into the idea that supposedly the Ayatollah was going to. to blow us off the map with the ICBM that can reach over to America, which is nonsense. And the truth is, which is quite sad, Jack, I've got a clip there.

Marco Rubio, Secretary Rubio, just let me play this first. The Ayatollah has retaliated as much as he can retaliate. And we've seen what they've got. They've got nothing. They've got stuff, but they haven't got a lot of stuff. So right now we've got six servicemen, maybe more dead from the United States. So this is, of course, not America first. And I'm going to talk.

I want to have the conversation with you how I feel about the Trump administration. and the shock horror I have for my four to six months have been like, no, I think this is got to be pretty good. I've got a Mia Culper to come on that one. But I was really interested in Secretary Rubio's reasoning about why they had to go. And I think, Jack, I sent that to you. Let's see if you've got that. The second question that been asked is, why now?

Well, there's two reasons why now. The first is it was abundantly clear that if Iran came under attack by anyone, the United States or Israel or anyone, they were going to respond and respond against the EU. United States. The orders had been delegated down to the field commanders. It was automatic, and in fact, it beared to be true because, in fact, within an hour of the initial attack on the leadership compound, the missile forces in the south and in the north, for that matter, had already been activated to launch. In fact, those already been pre-positioned. The third is the assessment that was made that if we stood and waited for that attack to come first

before we hit them, we would suffer much higher casualties. And so the President made the very wise decision. We knew that there was going to be an Israeli action. We knew that that would precipitate an attack against American forces. And we knew that if we didn't preemptively go after them before they launched those attacks, we would suffer higher casualties and perhaps even higher those killed.

And then we would all be here answering questions about why we do that indeed. It's all bullshit. No, no, this is very important to get this out there. So basically, America is going to war with Iraq. right now using its treasure and its men because Israel told them we're going to do it. And so they went, well, if Israel's going to do it, then we're going to get hit. So we have to jump in there.

But if you are the one that guarantees Israel's safety with $300 billion or whatever else they give and the military hardware, wouldn't you say if you were America first, don't do that? We tell you when you can go to war with Iran. You don't get to do that. You're going to put us in harm's way. We're at the negotiating table right now. or is that the tail wagging the dog? A few weeks ago, it was anti-Semitic to say, according to Fox News,

that we were going to this war on behalf of Israel. They said, that's not true. We're here to protect America. And now the Secretary of State is actually saying we had to go because Israel was going to do it anyway. So we thought, in for a penny, in for a pound, we have to protect ourselves. That's what a bitch move. You don't run your own foreign policy. It reminds me of a Steve Hughes routine during the Bush administration about,

preemptive strikes because they were going to strike. He goes, that's like walking into a bar and punching a bloke in a face. He goes, what did you do that for? Preemptive. Yeah. Listen, mate, I saw you order a rum and Coke, and I reckon in about two hours you're going to get a little bit fucking dangerous. So I've knocked you out now.

Preemptive. We cannot allow Steveo to have rum. Under no conditions. He was two hours away from ordering a Bundy and Coke. Well, I hope that This is World War III Now can we officially call it World War III? Is it official?

Yeah, I mean, we've been soft drifting into that. I mean, you've got regime change in Venezuela. We've got war happening in Russia and Ukraine and now we have the Middle East with the nuclear power engaging in war with Iran. Yeah, we're in World War III. And I think I know the answer, but what's our reason for wanting to defeat or blow up Iran?

This is the interesting thing. So obviously, you live in Iran, Beverly Hills area. You're close to Beverly Hills. I know of the people that live there. Yes. So obviously, if you know any Persians and I've got Persian friends right now celebrating their arsoff.

I know one. I think Chris Jenner is, she's in hiding, though. She's changed her face. So she can't. But do you know what I mean? Like the Persians who hate the Ayatollah and the oppressive theocracy there are ecstatic. Because, I mean, I've got friends in America whose family were, happy under the Shah,

who we installed. And then when the Shah fell, they've moved to America and right now they're dancing in the streets. Then I've got other Iranian friends who right now are like, how can you be celebrating this? So many of us are going to die. There's no way this is going to take a week or two weeks.

You're decapitating a regime. This is going to drag on forever and we're going to have more destruction in the city. So if you say you're not happy with Trump for this, they'll say, what do you love the Mullers? Do you love the mad theocratic state? Do you want to, do you want the... I just don't think it's our problem.

I don't think it's our issue to be dealing with. I think if the Middle East went... Look, my whole life, the Middle East has been carrying on. It's never been to perfect. You've never gone on. Now that we have... Okay, so we have Dubai airport, an airport I've been in many, many times actually being blown up and stuff like...

Dubai, Bahrain, Doha, all of the Gulf states, where people in the last 10 years really have gravitated to as the luxury destination, stopover destination, the hub of the world travel. You know, I saw a bomb jack. Do you want to know what I did? Iran. Unbelievable good stuff here. That's the clip.

One thing I found humorous about Dubai was I don't know if you've seen a lot of these all the influences that live there who, you know, have left Australia, the UK and America to not pay taxes and they don't have to pay taxes. They just have to advertise Dubai all the time and go, I'm in Dubai and I did this. And this is great. If you were in a bomb shelter in December, you're in. Dubai right now. Dubai shop,

overrated, by the way. It's all right. There would be a woman running with a ringlight into a bunker so she can do her content and make her videos next to some fitness influencer that's selling a diet plan. Oh, yeah. No, no. They would all be together, huddled up together, seeing how many likes they get for being miserable.

Could you imagine the histrionic scenes down there of girls doing their, get ready with me for World War III? I need something a little bit comfortable because I don't. don't know how long I'm going to be down here. But I do need footwear with grit so I can run. I'm a married man, so this doesn't apply to me. But I always think about things like that.

Like, are that to be a good place to meet girls, right? Any, like, I think that 50% of people who go on marches for SAG after, that was a good one. Sag after Black Lives Matter, things like this. If you go on those, I think 50% of people are trying to find, hook up with people, right? Yes, but, but with the, um, um, with the, What was I thinking of?

Well, listen, I had a friend. I had a place I was going with this. No, I know where you're going. I'll direct it back there because I know where you're going. I had friends myself who got married recently. I'll tell you this quickly. They got married. Do you know how they met?

They were hiking Everest and an avalanche happened and they went into a Everest. And their previous partners died? No, secure shelter. And it was just the two of them trapped there for three days in an avalanche shelter. And they, on day two, started fucking because I thought they'd be dead. and when they got out, one lived in Canada and one lived in Australia and they ended up getting married because they were like, we trauma bonded. I'll tell you where's a good place to meet the opposite sex right now.

If you're a good looking person, Fox at the moment are having open call auditions for Baywatch. Open call, right? They had thousands of people show up for the Baywatch auditions. That's the line you want to be in. that's that's going to have your fucking crazies right there anyway oh sorry oh you mean fuck i saw i thought you meant fox news like they were trying to find the next one no no no no no no fox is having open auditions for bay watch they're remaking bay watch right so it's just women in bikinis and guys with abs all just young good looking people i couldn't show up and

be like i just want to be one of the bodies that has rescued jack can you please drive jim down there and film his open audition. Yeah, open audition. There's photos of them lined up around the fucking block, all these good-looking people. That was the place to go. Baywatch open auditions. So Operation Epic Fury underway, God knows how long this is going to last.

Mate, this, what's happening now will be the same as Afghanistan. We will have to go in there to stabilize the area, and they're not all getting along, and then we'll be there for fucking years, and eventually we'll leave. and they'll get a new supreme leader and we'll go, what the fuck was all that about? We're not going to westernize them. They're not going to change religion. They're not going to change things.

We'll get whatever resources we can in the country. It's very different, though. It is very different. I mean, Persia is not Afghanistan. I mean, Persia is one of the most ancient and impressive cultures that exists. And the wars against Persia have gone back since the ancient Greek time. So, like, you know, it's not like the Persians were, you know, pre-revolution. It was extremely Western.

I mean, they had Mossadegh, who was their president, and we overthrew him and we installed the Shah. Then they had the Shah, and then you have all those videos of women at the beach. That's all you get on Instagram, by the way, right now is, remember when in the early 1970s there was hot chicks, hot Persian chicks at the beach before the mullahs came in and put them in bin bags? Some people are legitimately saying, can you imagine how good it's going to be now that you can go over there and you'll be able to see hot Persian chicks wearing bikinis again? That's their entire foreign policy. If you want to see hot Persian chicks, ran bikinis, just come to LA, cut out the middleman.

Cut out the middleman. All the good ones are here. But, you know, they're not, it's a bigger landmass, bigger population. It's going to be a much harder fight than Iraq. 90 million people, 90 million people. And huge, hugely impressive people in engineering and their ability to build rockets.

And, you know, it's going to drag on. They're only two weeks away from a nuclear bomb. They're very good. When they say, oh, this is going to be, There'll be no boots on the ground, which is what they initially were saying. Well, there has to be boots on the ground where you don't change the regime. So I don't know what that's all about. But Donald Trump was asked, and let's just play a clip first.

This is the Lawrence O'Donnell clip. Donald Trump was awarding medals of honor to veterans and discussing the serious nature of Operation Epic Fury. And Trump, who is the gayest president of all time, when he talks about this. He likes the village people. Yeah. Have a listen to this as he discusses the ongoing. war in Iran, where his brain goes to. And so, on the third day of his war against Iran, speaking in the majestic east room of the White

House, Donald Trump reminded the world of what is most important to him. We have a lot of great service members here with us, too, in this beautiful building, isn't it? Beautiful. We're adding on to the building a little bit. We're improving the building. See that nice drive? When that comes down right now, you see a very, very deep hole.

But in about a year and a half from now, you're going to see a very, very beautiful building. And there's your entrance to it right there. In fact, it looks so nice, I don't think I'll even, I think I'll save money on the doors because it can't get more beautiful than that. I picked those drapes in my first term. I always like gold, but I think we can save a lot of money. I just saved curtains. But, and it will be, it will be.

And it will be. It'll be spectacular. It'll be the most beautiful ballroom. I believe it's because I built many a ballroom. I believe it's going to be the most beautiful ballroom anywhere in the world. Bye, Jack, that's enough of that clip. It's our job to react to this clip. We can't just farm it out completely.

So he's going to save the United States a lot of money because of the drapes that he picked. I mean, never mind the Tomahawk missiles and USS Abraham Lincoln. that's out there. Oh, just stop for a second. Hold on. Sure. Andy. No, yeah.

Yeah, so he's going to save a lot of money on doors. The dude sounds like fucking Liberacee. I picked out these drapes. Look at those beautiful drapes. I've always liked gold. I've always like gold. I saw him in the Oval Office today with the Chancellor from Germany. And it was like, fucking, he's fucked that office up as well.

It looks all gaudy and filled with gold lilting shit like that. Any room he comes and he tackies the fuck up. You can't have. help himself. It is so, like, darkly, not even funny, really, but I mean, it does, it is kind of funny. This is the thing.

You voted for him. If you could have, you would have. If you could have, you would have. I told you, I said, he's not good. He's not, look, I blame the Democrats. If they didn't give his fucking Clinton in that shit fucking debate, not Clinton. Oh, Hillary.

You mean Camelon. No, I mean the Blake before him, Biden. If they didn't give us fucking Biden wobbling out there, ooh, my likey. If we didn't have that. cunt, we wouldn't be here right now. But I always like Biden, but fuck Biden for what he did. Fuck him for what he did.

And now we've got this shit. And now we're in fucking world war because of this shit. Also, with Iran, they're two weeks out from being able to build a nuclear bomb. What the fuck does that mean as well? Like, don't, doesn't the world have that technology? Don't you just get someone who knows how to make it? Or is it like fucking mining Bitcoin? No, you have to secure a certain.

You get uranium. You get uranium, right? And then what else? Well, he did that thing where he goes, they wanted in the negotiations, they wanted nuclear enrichment for civil. And I said, I don't think that's very civil at all. It's not civil.

There's nothing civil about that. But they can't have it. They couldn't have it. So they wanted it for nuclear power plants. And once you have nuclear power plants, you can then slowly get onto the process of making a bomb out of it. And you remember when they hit Fordo, and they said,

So Iran bombs somewhere, then we send it back to the Stone Age, right? If they drop a nuclear bomb on someone else, Iran's over, right? It's over. The whole place is over, right? America would not stop if they dropped a nuclear bomb. Here's the thing. If you didn't have a nuclear bomb, why would you not want a fucking nuclear bomb, dude? Look at Kim Jong-un.

Kim Jong-un must be sitting there laughing at everyone because he managed to get one, and there ain't no fucking regime change on Kim. But the thing is, I don't understand why they're not allowed one if we have one and they have one, and everyone has one and we all have one. I grew up in the 80s. The Russians had him and we had them and they were pointed at each other. And it was wonderful. You went outside and everything.

Now we're worried about people who might have one eventually. You know, we all just learn. No, you don't want a theocratic state, you know, an Islamic state that talks about blowing people off the map to have a nuclear bomb. You don't really want anyone to have an nuclear bomb. How much terrorist shit is going to fucking, we're going to have to go through now. We're going to go through it fucking weekly now. weekly we're going to have some cump with a small bomb strapped to his thing in the fucking the underground or on a bus or a concert or whatever and it's like it makes it harder and harder

to leave your fucking house every day. I've never been more relieved because I grew up in Adelaide, Australia, which is the bottom of South, bottom of Australia really, quiet little town. And I spent my whole life saying, I've got to get out of here into the big wide world. And I moved to New York. And right now I'm like, you know what? The big wide world's a bit fucked up. There's nothing wrong with South Australia, folks.

The small narrow world. I've never felt better. The small little pond, she's safe. She's a safe pond. I'm not even a big fish here. I'm a small fish in a small pond and leave me alone. Don't kill me. You raise some kids that can go work on submarines.

Exactly. So this is what I want to say about the Trump situation, because it's important to look back at exactly what's happened now. In 2015, 16, Donald Trump was, and I will never forget watching those Republicans. primaries. He shocked the conservative establishment at the time because he was debating against Jeb Bush.

You remember that? Jeb and Ted. Yeah, I remember Jeb. And Donald Trump changed the Republican Party at that time, got booed, if you remember, because he said, Iraq was a disgrace. It was a pointless war. We lost a lot of men. We put ourselves into debt for what?

For nothing? and everyone went boo because the idea of criticizing any military engagement on the Republican side of politics was completely anathema to that side of the party. It was hostile that Donald Trump came in and said this was stupid. Look where our country's out there. I was mental-addicted veterans. That was the one thing I used to say about Trump is that he didn't start any wars in his first term. But his first term, because of COVID was a bit of a wipe, right? He didn't have chance to start a war because no one was doing anything.

And whether you want to like it or not, the establishment did hate Donald Trump at the beginning. Everyone was all out for him. They wanted him out. Impeachment, the fake Russia scandal. And it was at that time, okay, this is what you need to. At that time, Donald Trump did feel like if you're disaffected populist and you're sick of the establishment that has led to where we're at right now with the economic insecurity, with the never-ending wars we had, it was like, well, here's this guy, flawed as he is, this billionaire who said, I'm not going to take outside money. Drain this. All of these politicians on the stage have donors who put them in power and they have

to do the bidding of the donors. Not me. I'm rich. I'm a billionaire. That's why a billionaire is the best person to run this populist because I'm going to do what I want to do, not what they're donors. He said he's going to run it like a business. So at that time, it was like, oh, shit, okay.

And he did get in and he did not start any wars, even though he was what he killed Soleimani, the Qasem Soleimani, which was the dead. dangerous at the time to kill that Iranian general. However, people like myself went, well, here, here's this establishment that is egging on war with Russia, with what they were doing in the Ukraine, with the Maidan color revolution, and many people said, wow, the Democratic Party is trying to lead us to war with Russia. They want a forever war in the Ukraine.

And Donald Trump says, I'll end that war. And people like me, completely, and like I look at it now, and I'm like, yeah, of course, this goes, a charlatan. He gets Tulsi Gabbard, who I really liked at the time. When she was a Democrat, I loved Tulsi. Tulsi sold no war with Iran hoodies, man. Now she's in this administration that's in war with Iran. I don't know whether she's going to give back the money on the hoodies.

You have J.D. Vance, who's a veteran. I think it'll be like when you're in the Super Bowl final, and they have to have the T-shirts to say, we won the Super Bowl, because the players have to wear them right away, so they're all printed up. So they'd be down in Africa right now with no war in Iran, hoodies. If you go to Ross dress for less, you'll probably get the Tulsi-Gabbered, no war in Iran. I'll buy one right now if they got them. They got them online.

I'll get one, no war in Iran, Tulsi-Gir. Yeah, yeah. Tucker Carlson at the time is a lead proponent of that movement. He's your favorite person in the world. I enjoy the work of Tucker Carlson. He is a staunch isolationist. No war with Iran. He's, of course, attacked now as a Qatari puppet because he doesn't want blowback against

the Gulf states that are our allies and we have bases in. I'm watching that movement happen and I think we've got Tucker, we've got Tulsi Gabbard J.D. Vance, who is by the way a puppet of Peter Thiel and Palantir and Military Industrial Complex which another rug pull right there which we should have seen

coming of course and many people did but I did I told you these weren't good people you were like, oh no I'm not going to do I told you so it's better that you've woken up now than where you were before. But waking up doesn't mean, I love Kamala Harris, because these are also, you know, I never love Kamala Harris. For me, what it is. I never love Kamala Harris.

I never loved Biden either, but I knew that it was a better choice than the other. That's why I blame the Democrats. They didn't even give us a half-passable fucking person to vote for. So what it is for me is, this is one of the great, and this is why it's so dangerous, is that Donald Trump was the in-case of emergency break-glass candidate. This, you know, this flawed charismatic, dirtbag, real estate, shapes. lady guy goes, I'll get, at least I want to put you in the wars.

And so many guys my age disaffected once very left wing people went, well, we got fucked over by all of the left wing parties that have supposedly come in. Maybe this is the guy. Maybe this is the guy who, through his mania and his big threats, is going to keep the peace. He meets Kim Jong-un, little rocket man.

Seems like he quells that threat. And now you look at the Donald Trump candidate. Tucker Carlson on the out, you know, they despise Tucker Carlson. he's gone. Ted Cruz, who Donald Trump was saying, you know, his pig wife. Tucker Cruz is, Ted Cruz, sorry, is now the biggest supporter. You've got Lindsay Graham.

I hate Ted Cruz. He's a slimy, slimy man. You got Lindsay Graham. You got Mark Levin. Lindsay Graham stays on the right wing because he gets his free conversion therapy. Have you? It doesn't have to pay. Gets it as part of his package.

I don't know if he's converting that hard. So when you look at it. He tries. You get down on his knees with this blow. in this room or every day. Look at the Trump... Praying, O'Shoe. Look at the Trump base now that he has.

Does that remind you anything of what he was, who he was standing with going in? No, he's been completely co-opted, and it does feel like ever since there was that assassination attempt on him. But there's still... And the Epstein fires were threatened hanging over his head. All of a sudden, Bibby Netanyahu visits him multiple times,

and Bibby gets whatever he wants. Because it would seem that Donald Trump maybe doesn't want fires to come out. that Donald Trump is being bribed because there is pictures of him with young girls from Epstein Island and so he's just being extorted. I think he's been extorted. He's been extorted or his friends are being extorted

and he's trying to keep that underlock. But also he took Why would he ever want to fucking be president then? What the fuck do you get out of this job? I could live to be a thousand. I'll never understand why anyone wants this job. But he took how much money? Let's look at it right now. From Sheldon Adelson, billionaire, you know, Israeli billionaire. Donald Trump took the money from the Adelson family. This is a man who said, I'll never take monies for special interest.

Then he gets all this A-PAC money and from the Adelson family that is a very, very pro-Israeli. And now Donald Trump does whatever Israel does, as Marco Rubio would suggest, we went to war because Israel was going to do it anyway, so we joined in. If that is America first in any way, tell me how. So obviously, all these people that thought Donald Trump was going to be the outside, where do they go next? I'll tell you when they go. Black-gilled nihilism, they're looking for, next time they want a full fucking dictator.

Because Trump is the popular. Now they just have to go back to just a right-wing bloke who, like... No, they don't go back to a right-wing bloke, make, they go to a fucking militia. Because if Donald Trump didn't work, who will? Yeah, but this is a small handful of it. The real maga people, but the Republican people, normal Republicans,

financial Republicans, they just need to go back to a Mike Pence. They just need to go back to an asshole who's just... Like, why? Like, why? Because that's when they're happiest, when they're just talking about taxes and shit like that, and they're saying women can't control their own bodies. But they had 20 years of a war, they've been doing war in perpetuity.

It hasn't stopped. That's the state of how it is. And the military industrial complex of the United States cannot allow a candidate, whether Democrat or Republican, to ever get. Donald Trump comes in, he completely changes. He's in Iran, even though his whole core policy was, this is dumb. We should never do this. Obama drone-striked weddings of American citizens overseas. Is that the hope and change?

How many kills do you reckon a president gets that we don't know about in a four-year term? Oh, God knows how many. I mean, hundreds of people? All right, Trump said something an hour ago. President Trump shared a new reason why the US began striking around over the weekend. It was my opinion that they were going to attack first. They were going to attack. and if we didn't do it, they were going to attack first.

I felt strongly about it. I've seen this speech. You know, I watched you do this. He said this sitting next to the German chancellor. Yeah, he goes to attack first. They have no Navy. It's been knocked out. They have no air force.

It's been knocked out. They have no air detection. It's been knocked out. Their radar has been knocked out. And just about everything's been knocked out. Yeah, I saw him do that tweet. And again, I was so mad at him. And then it still somehow I started laughing.

Like, it is an abusive relationship I have with him where he was like, we've put nine ships, nine naval vessels, we sunk them, they're in the bottom of the Persian Gulf, and their admiral's base is completely blown up. He said they're floating at the bottom of the ocean. And then he goes, this is the best line where I'm like, why am I laughing at this? Because he goes, they're on the bottom of the ocean and their naval base is in flames. But other than that, the Iranian Navy is doing very well. And I'm reading that like, ha.

What a piece of shit. So the last one I was going to say is that Pete Hegseth said that this will be a not a politically correct war. So those PC wars over the years. It's not going to be a woke war. Do you ever remember those woke wars? I remember I used to watch the AC130 heli gun footage, you know, when they'd be target identifying people in the Taliban. And they'd be like, target spotted, man of non-descriptive. color, he, him, potentially.

Maybe are they them? Not sure. Wouldn't gender the target? He's down. They're down. Don't know. It doesn't matter. They're down. I said there's several of them. No, just the one.

Just the, they are down. Listen, sir, we've identified the target. We're not going to say what he is. Well, you can't have a, you can't have a weight war because you don't need our soldiers' heads poking up over the trenches, the little pink haircuts. They go halfway down your forehead. Well, that has been the problem in trench warfare is you go, I've got this work chick here and a fucking hair's sticking out over the trench. Everyone can see.

Well, so, so for most wars throughout history, women haven't fought. They've worked in the hospitals or catering or whatever, the thing they've worked in, right? But they've contributed to wars. And now in Afghanistan or all that type of stuff, we had, you know, female soldiers that are fighting hand in hand and all that type of stuff. But you weren't old enough for this. Bill Clinton's Don't Ask, Don't Tell, right? Do you remember Don't Ask, Don't Tell? No, what was that about?

Was that about who they recruited in the military? Okay, so you weren't allowed to be a homosexual in the Army. Oh, yes, that's right. Right? You weren't allowed to be a homosexual in the Army. And so they said, how about you let homosexuals in the Army? Because a lot of the women were homosexuals that were in the Army, right? I'm not saying, but a lot of them were.

A lot of the men as well. And rather than change the law, they went, they'll meet in the middle. Don't ask, don't tell. That's what Trump should be bringing for the Epstein Isles files. I've got a new law. Don't ask, don't tell. We can all just assume. Don't ask, don't tell.

When they said no gays in there, to be honest, one of the most effective armies in history was Alexander the Great's armies. And they were all gay. They fucked each other in the ass for pure love of each other. And they only had sex with women to make children. So they really loved each other. And they thought on the combat field, ultimately, you would fight harder for a man that you love and that you've been intimate with, you know? Like you don't, you would run across the battlefield to save your friend if you're like, that guy sucks the best cock, he can't go down.

Oh, I wouldn't go to war for Uncle Terry. Isn't that funny that? If you're an uncle, a comedian will make a joke about you molesting him. That's just what we do. Just like me uncle like that. I'd like to say that none of my uncles ever touched me. They're all good dudes. I want to be straight up about that.

All good dudes, my uncles. So I'd love to know what wars were woke that America fought. You know, those wars in Vietnam using Agent Orange. That was pretty politically correct. Yeah, they shouldn't have called it Agent Orange. That was the worst thing. That was the worst thing. That's where the war wasn't woke.

Yeah, exactly. If Pete Higgsath had it his way, he wouldn't have called it Agent Orange. He would have called it Yellow Man Poison. That should be Trump's name, Agent Orange. Agent Orange is a good code name for him. Yeah. So, anyway, him and the cunt used to go to parties. Age and Orange and the cunt.

The cunt. That's what's happening in global warfare. Australia, God, I hope that we don't get involved. That's it. When do you think the rest of the world gets involved in how many sold? Because at the moment, because Trump today, when he was sitting down his press conference, he was saying, I love hanging out with German, German, we have a special relationship. He goes, I don't like Spain.

Spain's no good. They're not very nice, the Spanish. And the English, he basically told the British can go fuck themselves as well. He doesn't like the Spaniards and he doesn't like the British. Well, if you're going into World War III, you've got to, I mean, the Germans have got to be there. You know, you can't not have the Germans involved. No, no, no. They need to get on the right side once.

So they should join the Iranians. The Germans are like, oh, they're doing it again? Oh, my God, we thought you, we get to be with you this time? That's so cool. Right, right now the Germans are ringing up the Japanese like this. It's been a while. Yeah, let's be. go back. We have a chance

to be like totally on the right side. Come on. Who would have thought that Germany didn't start this one? They must be relieved that they didn't start it at least. Well, it's not on them. Okay, so how did it start then?

Because there's always a key moment. How did this actually start? It's like it's, it's, it all goes back to Israel and the hostages. And then what happened there? And then Israel went a little bit like, oh, we can do a bit more shit. Basically, after October 7th, and let's not go down a full rabbit hole of everything going all the way back to the overthrowing must. That's the first domino push, right? October 7th.

Of late, yes, because they say that the Iranian state sponsors the Houthis and Hezbollah and Hamas and was training and financing terrorists. And so for once and for all, Israel is saying we have to wipe Iran out for ongoing safety. Also, the Lakud Party, of which Bibby's from, they have. a thing called the Greater Israel Project. They want to reclaim the biblical lands that they believe belong to them. And what is a little bit concerning is that Naftali Bennett, ex-prime minister of Israel, said that the next target is Turkey. Everywhere throughout the region, and from here I warn, Turkey is the new Iran.

No, no, no, no. I've just been to Turkey. It was all right, man. I mean, Turkey's in fucking NATO. Are these people out of their mind? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. Don't start war with the Turks, me. So the moment that we get dragged into getting rid of the Iranian regime, they're already like,

these Turks, I'm telling you. All right, question for you. Who joins first, the English or the Australians? The British or the Australians. Oh, Australia already. Yeah, I know. I know. Australia, we're always there.

Right now we're gone. We can send you two SAS blokes. You want to go? You want to go? We got submarines? As the Australian netballers would say, Here if you need. That's us.

Put me in, coach. Whatever America wants us to do, we're going to be there. I remember thinking that when my nephew joined the military, that I'm like, oh, fuck, a world war is going to start or something. I could smell it like years ago. Like there's going to be a war coming up and all type of stuff. And then, you know, look, we all know how that ended for him. but um i look and i i shouldn't say this i i i support our troops i support any family who

whose family has a soldier in the military but i wouldn't let my kids do it man it's it's fucking this is shit they're going to put they're going to put boots on the ground they're going to put actual people like soldiers in this it's not just going to be drones we'll have soldiers out there within two weeks yeah speaking of that i don't know if this is in any way funny to you but I was, there's a war going with Afghanistan and Pakistan right now. That is hilarious. Yes. And this is quite funny.

Keep going. Yes, very good. No, that's the bit. And the Afghan terror groups that are fighting hits Pakistan said they're going to unleash a wave of suicide bombers. And everyone's saying, guys, there's drones now. You don't have to keep doing this anymore. You can just buy a drone. I never understood the suicide bombers before the drone.

Put it in a bag. Put it in a bag. Drop the bag off. Walk away. No, because you want to be, you want to get yourself over to Paradise. So you can't. Yeah, but you can, but then you can do like 10 missions and then be killed and then they start to pick, you know, do what you can?

Yeah. This is, like, do you get to paradise if you blow up just one bloke at, you know, an ice cream truck or something like that? I think you even get, I think you still get to Paradise even for the attempt. Right. So you get to Paradise if you're putting the bomb on you and then you trip over the quarters, you're putting your pants on. Yeah.

I mean, you get to Paradise embarrassed. Right. Like all the virgins are like, yeah, I can wait. Let me tell you, they give you the ugliest versions. You get the, you get a cup of fatties. You just get, you just get a middle, middle-aged milf, just sitting there going, it's all you get. You trip, you accidentally, you accidentally short why your suicide vest blow yourself up, kill no body. You get 72 autistic guys that want to talk about trains. You still get the virgin. just not the ones you want.

Not the ones you want. Yeah, but that's automation taking jobs away again, isn't it? You know, there's suicide bubbers are like, oh, you're taking my spot in heaven. Also, just, yeah, strap it. You know what? Put it in one of those little food cart robots that drive around. No one ever fucking opens that up. No one's going, that can think could drive through a music festival.

I don't want to give you any ideas. Oh, you mean the little Uber Eats delivery bot thing. Yeah, the delivery pots. no one's going to stop him. Everyone just gets out of his way. Someone needs their food. Do people attack those? I never held one up.

I walk around it. Do people attack those like bandits? Can you just open that up and help yourself? They have been attacked. And there's been like the autonomous cars have been broken here in L.A. People have gotten on top and smash them to bits. They're going to have to weaponise. They're going to have to like electrify the lid.

That's why you fill one of them with a bomb. Not all of them, just enough that, you know... Just to pitch a lesson. Yeah, you want to have a go? You saw what happened to old lefty over there. You lost his arm, didn't he? You opened up the fucking door, didn't he? Trying to take my chowm in.

As a comedian, do you expect to get a call to perform for the troops? How long does a conflict have to go before they bring the comedians in? I have performed in Afghanistan, Iraq, I believe... Syria. I have been in... I've been to Saudi Arabia to perform to the base out there. I've performed all over. But I think after what happened in Fremont Street, I won't be invited anymore because I'm too much of a high risk.

You might say the wrong thing to the... You think you'll offend the troops, were you? I might be too sweary for the troops. Look, and if I did it, I'd probably do it again for the British troops because it's just Like the same thing, they used to have clean comics go for the American troops for the most part. Are you shitting me? So you've just watched your friend get blown up by a roadside bomb, but they're like, don't say anything about sex.

Dude, they would say that to us. They'd go, hey, there's a group coming back from a mission. Two of them died. They're in a bit of a low mood. Give them a hell of a show boys. And that felt like a real responsibility that I took deeply personal, that my job is really to cheer. people up and really to make people out.

It never became more apparent than that moment when you had, oh, they've just lost two blocks. I've just had a, I've just had a funny thought, which is why, like, I don't think that comedy will work anymore. You know why? Because back in the day, you used to have jokes prepared to cheer up these blokes, but modern young comedians will get sent over there and be like, what do you guys do? What are you a couple?

Oh, yeah. It'll be crowdworking. Why are you guys in a bad mood? Yeah, you've got to have material. You can't have a crowdwork comic. go out there and go, all right, so what are you missing a limb for? What happened there?

Look at this guy, half his head's missing. What's your nickname on the base? Everyone? Why you're wearing that outfit? I can hardly see you. But you know what's funny is you used to perform in front of the soldiers and they would have bloodproof vests and they have helmets and they have guns. And the rule was that you have to be six seconds or six feet away from those things, right?

Right. So they would either have their, they could have their guns under the seat or they could be holding them. You would have audience members holding machine guns, just like laughing. With them strapped to their chest. If someone could, if someone out there, if you're a sketch person, you've got it, I need to see an impression of Matt Rife does USO. Well, also, also, there's not enough female soldiers out there for him to really get the audience going. And the females that out there may not like. Matt as much as they, you know, there'd be like five women up the back, whoo-do. And who's that guy that does all the auto-tune singing? Oh, I don't know. You could send Russell Peters out there. He'd, like, he's a crowdwork bloke. He'd have a good time.

Matt Ripe, there's the scouser fella who does all crowdwarks. Paul Smith. Paul Smith. Yeah, you'll all be ready to go. Send out the crowdwork. Send out the crowdwork. That's crowdwork clips worth saying. Yeah, so where are you from?

What brought you out here? Oh, you know, the girlfriend left me, so I joined the military. And how long have you been doing that? Oh, you know, when I joined, I thought to myself, I thought, you know, it'll be good. You get a pension. There's no wars on the horizon. How wrong was I? And, you know, now I've been out here on service for four years.

Try to kill myself, but, you know, you can't hang a noose off a tent. The roof just falls down. And who's this man you're next to? Is this a don't ask, don't tell situation? This is the only thing I fuck and the only thing I care about. This is a German shepherd called Ted. Ted? That's the German name he came up with Ted.

He's a German shepherd. He's not from Germany. He was raised in America and called Ted. Sorry. And I could have done better with the joke. Say something. Come on. Ted talk.

Little joke. Did I ever turn my favorite comedian I've ever seen? by the way. Me, it's me, it's me. It's other than you. It's me. I once judged the new act night, and this guy brought his dog with him. Yeah.

And he brought a teddy bear and a dog. And he went on stage and he puts the teddy on the ground and he's holding the dog. And he goes, all right, good everyone. How you going? And he puts the dog on the ground and he goes, fuck the teddy. Fuck the teddy. And the dog just sits there doing nothing next to the teddy. He goes, going, fuck the teddy.

Fuck the teddy. Nothing happens. Crowds silent. He picks up the teddy and he picks up his dog. goes, sorry, guys, he did it at home. Then he left. Oh, I thought it was going to be a misdirect. That was it.

He just goes, he did it at home. Don't know what happened. This hasn't worked. He left. And I was judging the new act night. And I went, I was one of the, I was like the main judge. And they said, and who won tonight? And I go, fuck the teddy guy.

And they're like, be serious. Be serious. I'm like, that was so much better than someone getting on stage going, the first time you do comedy is like the first time you have sex. I'm nervous. It's only going to last a couple of minutes and everyone's going to laugh at me. Yeah. And if my mum walks in the room, I'll be very upset.

Yeah. And then I went, well, no, he has one. And it turns out he left the building. So we never know who he was. He came once. He did that. Okay. What was the best case scenario?

The dog fucks the teddy bear. And then he goes, pretty good. Pretty good. What do you reckon? Comedy. Have a laugh. There was that guy And then there was another guy

I used to have a dog That fucking used to One of our family dogs Used to fuck a shoe But it would stare at you Why it was doing it like Come on Like it didn't look down at the shoe

Like keep your eyes and your lover I've got it We've got a dog here At the moment And he's Have you got a country road mug You pretentious little fuck Yeah

What's wrong with that Country Road is like This sort of mid brand That's almost designer But good quality stuff It's from Australia. It's all just plain colours and car key, sort of fucking, like, linen trousers and shit.

They make a few sets. It's for middle class moms to be like, that's nice. That's Country Road. Yeah, Country Road is good. I used to have a Country Road suit was my suit that I got when I left school, so I could go for job and abuse. Honey, you're going to a birthday party.

Why don't you get her something from Country Road? Get her a towel from Country Road. But I didn't know they made kitchenware. That's the first mug. I've ever seen from Country Road. I've never seen anything that's not fabric from those people. Well, it's not, it's not mine. It's Andrews. He's got all these crockeries from Country Road, and I think he might be the first person ever to put the Country Road plate in the microwave. Bullshit. Is he got Country Road plates? Yeah.

Bullshit. I think he must have a set. It doesn't say Country Road on it, but it's made by Country Road. I'll pay that cunt too much commission. He's got Country Road plates. I don't even have country road plates. Do you know what it's like to live with your manager and he's complaining about your house. He goes, he goes to me yesterday, oh, you might need to get an electrician in a couple of the sockets aren't working. I said, how much is that going to cost me? He goes, oh, the quote's a couple grand. And I'm like, well, better get me some radio work. You know what else is, you know what else isn't working? Me. Me. Do you know who hasn't been on television in more than 10 years.

All right. We've been podcasting for way too long. No, I, listen. You were very good on this podcast. I didn't contribute enough. And we could have been funnier, but if we are where you get your news from, you should be ashamed to yourself. Well, you should have as much shame as I have.

How much do you reckon that mug you're costing, you're holding costs? $29.99. $14.55. I see. There's nothing. What a fucking bargain. Australian dollars. $10 American.

$10 American. Oh, American. It's overpriced. $20, $20 Australian. So, mate, basically in closing, I hope that Iran, you know, I'm glad that the Iitol is gone. But, I mean. We're going to be talking about this for 10 years. They'll have a new Supreme Leader before night's fall.

Don't worry about it. I think they've already had three, by the way. Yeah, they lost the second guy, didn't they? Imagine having a couple of people. meeting, basically, if you're having a meeting right now at Central Command for Iran, they're like, the first guy was like, I'll step up to the plate. I'm happy to take on the responsibility to be the new Ayatollah. He got killed within seven hours.

They would have had to convene another meeting and they're like, so I think Rizza over there, you're the most holy amongst us. And he's like, no, I have impure thoughts all the time. I'm a bad Muslim. And Riz is just in the corner changing the water jug. I don't even work here. I'm just bringing stuff in. Sorry, what am I?

Do I want a Supreme what? Muhammad, it's your turn. He's like, yeah. Which, Muhammad are you talking to? Which one of us? Which one of us? Not me. Muhammad M or Muhammad H?

Yeah, you. You. Muhammad D? He's not even qualified. He's like, no, guys, I don't know how to tell you this. I've been eating during daylight hours during Ramadan. I'm not the guy. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what I'd be doing. If they were trying to make me the Supreme Leader right now, it would make a good sitcom or movie. It would make a funny movie, like them trying to get a new Supreme Leader and then them just failing each time. It is a funny premise.

Because basically you'll be killed within hours, but you do have a Wikipedia entry saying you were once the Supreme Leader. So it's like you have to weigh that up. Also, it's like, I would be like, I need all those women that you promised me in the room right now. and then you announce it, boom. You know what I mean? I want to be in a bunker.

The rest of me life. I don't go anywhere. Did you see those funny tweets about being the Ayatollah of Iran right now? It's like being the manager of Nottingham Forest. Like, it's going to be an interim role. And then there was another one that went viral. It was, here's the new Ayatollah, Sam Aladaisi. He's going to manage them through this decline.