I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 52 - Ninja School

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

At this moment, Amos and Jim and talk about updates on the Iranian war. Jim also rants about a recent incident with a mechanic and they talk about an ICE v ISIS game. Jim's special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix! SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠ FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠   Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠   Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this moment with me, Jim Jeffries. I'm here with Amos Gil. We have an action-packed episode. We talk about wars. We talk about mechanics. We talk about strippers. We talk about dancing. It's a fun one.

Yeah, I mean, the unbelievable clarity, moral clarity from you and I in this episode as we break down the war. Don't bother listening to anybody else, bloody Tucker Carlson, the Young Turks, Crystal and Saigers, breaking points, CNN, Fox. Useless. Get your news here. We just got, we nailed it. Yep, yeah, we're seeing in. We also are on tour, as always. I'm at the Adelaide Fringe.

I'm entering my last week or so here. You can go to the Adelaide Fringe website to get your tickets. Also, I want to say this one, I am, despite the threats of Nafthali Bennett, the Israeli Prime Minister against Turkey, I have just announced that I am going to be performing there. That's right. Come and see me in Istanbul, everybody, July 20. I would like to say that my gig this week in the Middle East has been cancelled, but I have set up some other gigs.

Hershey, Pennsylvania, March 13th, Boston on March 14th, March 27th, and we'll go as far as March 28th in Austin. There my four gigs coming up. Also, an entire tour of Australia is happening if you're Australian. Go to Jim Jeffries.com for all your Jim Jeffries needs, but the entire tour of July and half of August, I'm going to places I've never been before and I'm very excited to be doing that tour.

But catch me this weekend, Hershey and Boston. Let's start the show. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the podcast, whether you're at home or sitting in the bath, whether this is drive time for you or this is morning radio. Welcome to ATM with me, Jim Jeffries, and my young, handsome friend Amos Gil, we're both wearing Oasis tops today.

How exciting is that? We did not coordinate that. Look at that. We need to coordinate. Nate better. We do. We should always be like this. This gives the the podcast some type of uniformality. I'm going to tell you about my day, mate. I'll tell you what I'm up to. Right. So remember years ago when I bought the Dodge Challenger Hellcat, which is

a big muscle car, if you've never seen one of them, right? And I went in and I was with my son and I bought it from Russell, Westbrook, Jeep, Dodge, what a Chrysler Jeep in the Dodge. Out in the valley. Out in the out in Van Nuhere I live. 2019, that would have been. We went out there. You were living in my house at the time. We took Hank out, who was seven at the time,

and we sat him on my lap, and we went there, and the dealer I ordered this car in, and I wanted a particular colour. And the dealer came in, and the actual manager had given me a price, and then the salesman came and sat down, and he just fucking rattled off a price that was eight grand more expensive than it should have been.

And what did I say to the man? Amos. You said something to the effect of, I was linging around getting a free coffee at the time, but in the background I could hear, are you trying to make me look like a fucking dickhead in front of my son? Are you trying to embarrass me in front of my son? You think you've got to emasculate me like that? I go, we had a price and now you've walked up with a new price and you're going to make me look like a fuck wit in front of my son. Is that what you're doing? And he goes, no, I'm not trying to make you look like a fuck with your son. And he goes, What price did the manager quote you?

I said, the price that you're meant to give me. You go off and find the price. Come back and I'll tell you if you're correct, right? Because I had the price because I just wanted to know if the little weasel fuck would lie again, right? It triggered me right back to my mother arguing with customer service. I went straight to the vending machine, got a Twix and picked up a basketball and played on the Russell Westbrook Kids Corner. Exactly. I've got half of Carolyn Nugent in me.

Carolyn Nugent was one of the great fucking terror downs of customer service. people you can ever see. The gates of hell would shut behind these people if they turned around as they tried to get away from the situation. Anyway, I'm also a moron. I got half me dad in me. So I had to get the car serviced. I always go down to the place I bought it from because you think they'll do you the right thing, right? I went and got it service. Now, when I went to get it serviced, just before I got there, the engine light had turned on two days earlier. Bit of luck. right good i'm getting a service i'll be ready to go engine lights turned on right so i said oh the engine lights turned on they said oh we'll find out what's wrong with the car and we'll service now the

service is one thousand four hundred and forty four dollars which seems like just to change a bit of oil and some brake fluid and this that and the other sounds fucking extreme to me but the car was already there no problem let's do it now here's a thing about being famous that you'll never experience, Amos, and I'll tell you all about it. Right. Late on me. When you're famous, when you're famous, and this, I'll get no sympathy for this. No one will care.

No one will be nice. Well, I'm struggling to feel anything for you, but content. Yeah, yeah. People try to rip you off, right? Whenever you go, you get two things that happen in life. Either you get the best table in a restaurant or someone is trying to overcharge you. I watched a John Lennon documentary and he's buying some garden furniture for his little place out in England.

And he's like, please don't try to rip me off because you know who I am. Right. I've spoken to other celebrities about this. And I'm only a small, I go into the dealership and the guy's like, saw you, I won't tell you what race he's, but he goes, so you, bringing out a, bring out a new comedy special anytime soon. So you already clocked me, right? I always like to use the name Jeffrey Nugent when I'm dealing with customer service people so they don't know who you are. You can move on with your day. You already clocked me, right? And I went, oh, yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, I just had a special come out six months, actually, six months ago. And he's like, oh, I'll have to watch out for it, right? And then he goes, oh, you got to speak to my friend over here. He's in charge of services, right? And so he points out his mate. His mate's asleep, big fat guy, just in the chair. But he's halfway through a game of candy crush, right? So he's very recently fallen asleep.

He'd crush some candy earlier. Yeah, yeah. He was in a diabetic coma. Anyway, so he's sitting there. And I go, I go here for the service, and he goes, 1,400. I said, that sounds a bit much. And he goes, oh, I used to be 600 back 12. years ago he goes but uh price of this price of there oil the war right so i was like fine whatever

you go i go the engine lights turned on we'll check that as well he rings up my car by the way is driving perfectly there isn't a bad sound going on there's nothing wrong with it in any way to the ear or to the feel right when you're driving along no problem he comes back now i know they're going to go oh you need new brake pads or something like that they always come at you with those ones right no doubt this cunt rings me up and And he goes, you need, the engine light has three problems. First of all, did all these three things happen at the same time? It doesn't sound like it.

He said an auxiliary pump, an exhaust actuator and front brakes. Yeah, whatever that. That sounds like you'd say to a blonde woman at the car shop. Your actuators down. What it is, it makes the sound or the br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br. It makes, it changes the sound or whatever. but it's got something to do with the sound of the exhaust, right? So he tells me the three parts, and then I look the parts up, right?

Me and Jack looked the parts up together. Jack was there. Authentic parts, we look up. The parts come to a total of $2,000. $2,000, give or take $100 either side, right? $2,000. Was it $3,000? $3,000 at the high end.

Okay, $2,000 low end, $3,000 high end, right? at the high end, 3,000 high end, right? One of the parts was like $1,500. Yeah, that's right. One of the parts was like $400 and one of the parts of the breaks were like $600, right? Now, how much do you think this cunt rings me up and gives me a price? Now, if I am wrong, I am going to apologize profusely on this podcast next week, right? I'm going to $7,500.

$7,500 from the young man. He comes in at $7,500. Now, also, they sent me a text that day saying, hey, we've got labor. there's labor. Oh yeah. You guys also including, they sent me a text that day going, hey,

we'd like to buy you back my car. My car is value between, it's got 20,000 miles on it. It's five years old. It's value between 60 and 70 because of the low mileage. It's probably close to the 70. They sent me a text going, here at Chrysler Jeep and Dodge Van Eyes,

we'd like to buy your car back, right? They go, we'd like to give you an offer. The deep clean will be quite expensive. We'd like to give you an offer of $55,000, right? Whereupon I said no. And then they were like, 57? And then I said no. And then they went, would you like higher? Yes. Anytime you offer me something. No, I want 40. I'm trying to write this off on tax. You know, right? Would you like hire? And I said,

no, I'm not interested. I just wanted to know what they were going to offer me. Anyway, to put in those $3,000 worth of parts. They wanted $11,400 and something dollars on a car that they valued at $55,000 that I just brought in for a service, right? Mate, they need to hang out with my wedding photographer. Yeah, fuck me. He should go take photos of the fucking thing. The Van Eyes, Chrysler Jeep and Dodged are fucking the shadiest cunts. You walk into the...

Anyway, I went online. Why did I not do this? They have a 2.3 rating on Yelp. Just check that I've got that correct jacket. It's not a 2.6. But they've got about a 2.3 to 2.6 rating on Yelp. And my story is told time and time again. This is from non-famous people who are just being...

up the us. The good thing is there that cars actually have lubricants, so you're ready to go when you go in there. So did you, it's not in their custody anymore, right? You can just take an hour down and see. I, I just got them to do the service. No, check yelp. Yelp, yelp, please. So, so I, so I, um, I said to him, I said, no, I said, I haven't got any money at the moment. A bit broke. The time's been hard, right? Because I can't just go, fuck you. The way you talk to the mechanic versus the way you talk to a woman at the bar. To the mechanic, man, I'm struggling. I am on my knees.

I am. Yeah. I try to go into mechanics with like holes in my shirt. Right? You go, mate. I haven't worked in 10. 2.3. 2.3.

There it is. 2.3. 2.3. So I'm not making it up. There's the address if you need it. If you want to go down there. So 11,000. I said, you just valued the car at 55,000.

And now for a muffler sounding thing, and an actuator, an actuator. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a few fives and all one side of it. I got the actuator and the brake pads, the auxiliary pump. Exiliary pump, that's like $500 part, right? So now I'm going to do a little thing. I haven't been. I am going to the pep boys, just one of those chain type of place that does have authentic parts.

And I'm going there tomorrow at 10 a.m. Now, if they say $11,000 to me, right, I am going to apologize profusely to the good people. Good people. I will be on this podcast making amends to the good people of Van Nuys Jeep. Even Russell Westbrook, that fucking loser took his name off the fucking billboard, mate. Even he went, even he went, this is too shady for me. Oh, Russell, right? Well, if you want to stay with Russell, you've got to go to what, Sacramento now?

It's hard to keep track of where Russell is. You can't follow where. Russell's in one team a week. He's in Denver for five minutes, Clippers for two weeks, Oklahoma for a month, right? 18 days ago. Don't go to this location. The other locations have great customer service and people that are honest and they've actually service to take care of you.

I've been lied to and have been taken advantage of this location. Do not go. Days before, 10 days ago, my 2025 Jeep Cherokee has been in the shop three times for the same electrical issue. Fucking all. But this is the... funds as far as the eye can see, right? This is people that own cars that are expensive.

This is what you get. Let me take you down to the world of the pores. Hang on, hang on. I get an old car forever, and I drive it, and it never gets any help. When I was broke and I was in my 20s and I was very visually poor, right? No one ever went, and young man, the repairs are $11,000. Get the fuck out of it. Get the fuck out of it.

$11,000, you better be putting a new fucking engine in the car for $11,000. They're just trying to redistribute the income, you know? So, I get, I get the fucking... It's where capitalism almost becomes like communism where they go, like, it's the job of these businesses to reappropriate the wealth world. I get the bill. I walk back down to the counter where the fat, fuck was sitting there. He was awake at the time. It must have been, you know, quarter on the hour, right?

I walk down to the counter and I'll just go, gillay, mate. And he goes, I go, can you write down those parts that I need? He goes, yeah, I've written it there. And I go, can you please give me a quote? We don't print quotes. Yeah, environmentalists. You don't, no, no, it's on the paper. They just won't put the number.

Oh, okay. Inc, saving on the ink. That's another crisis of the oil. They won't put. Printed tone has gone through the roof. It was all made in Iran printed oil. So there is no track record of them saying $11,400 and something dollars, because I've already forgotten the something.

right? Save the squid. Keep the ink. Yeah. So there is no record of that. They tell you what it is. Now, I'm going to go out a limb and say not only when I go to this next mechanic who have got 4.8 ratings, I've gone for the mechanics with the best rating, 4.8 ratings. Not only am I going to go to that mechanic and it's not going to be 11,000, I believe that one of the three things that they have asked to repair don't even need repairing. Because why would have the, okay, we'll take out the brake pads because that's a different thing. why would the engine light turn on

and two things on separate sides of the engine are broken on the same day rather than feel right to me. I love that the whole world right now is sort of doing conspiracy breakdowns on what's happening with us at war and you're like, I think there's a conspiracy

at Van Nuys Dodge. Because there's a war going on, cunts like this think they can get away with shit because no one's fucking paying attention because the current affair in Australia isn't even doing fucking dodgy mechanic bits at the moment, which is their bread and butter.

Because everyone else is focused on the fucking war. These cunts are getting away with murder. Well, not on Jim Jeffries. Don't recognize me. And then fucking expect me not to recognize you back, your little fucky. It is a bold move to go, love your comedy specials and then rip that guy off. And then just rip me off. Fuck you.

Imagine doing that to like an investigative journalist. Good to have you here. Seymour Hirsch. Yeah. We're about to fuck you over. Yeah. That's done. Louis Farron.

row. Have I got a deal for you? And why have you charged me that? Do you often overcharge? Is that something you do just to like weak men with glasses? Would you do that to other like sort of would you do that to Andrew Tate or just big blokees like me? Who do you do that to? Did you see me coming a mile away? Yeah. Oh yeah. Fucking. So, so, look, as I said, you feel bad because it makes it does make it seem like you're a, they think you're a, they think you're a, a cuck who doesn't know anything. You think you're a rich guy who's a pussy and doesn't know a thing about motors. And you're like, you should have brought your son in so you could have done the routine

again. You've made me look like a bitch in front of my son. Yeah. And I feel like an asshole. I blame myself because why did I go back after the first experience? Why did I go, I'll take it back to the dealer. The check engine, I'll take it back to the dealer like a fucking cunt, right? I hate myself right now.

Listen, as I've told you, I've just, I've never. It's so emasculating. And imagine if I was just some rich Beverly Hills woman who went in and they said 11,000, she's like, okay, they're just fucking stealing these countries. Well, the economy runs on housewives who just can't be bothered with having to fight anything and they get to overcharge. It's crucial. We can't have repairs done in this house, which, by the way, you know, all houses need

these new builds because they're built by fucking. I can't get repairs done in this house when just my wife here. I've got to be here. It's not happening otherwise. They smell blood in the water. Oh, man, I remember what I remember when I was. I was doing daughter-door sales, as soon as the woman would say, my husband will be home in about an hour. I was like, I got 55 minutes to close this and get out of here with no trace.

Say what you will about the genders. I'm sure there are some women that push back, but where I worked, we were explicitly told, isolate the female, make sure the husband isn't there. You can jack that price as high as you like. But honey, he told us we had to have it. Well, I, Look, I will apologize to the man. I have his name here. So I will apologize to him if it so happens that I was incorrect. And all those three things. Checked and found engine light on air coolant pump and lost communication with active exhaust valve,

single valve, auxiliary coolant pump and both exhaust valves to start. Customer declined at this time. and there's no There's no quote there's Brackets seemed a bit cunty about it Yeah Yeah yeah Yeah

lied and said he was poor I've done that in my house I've got this Things are a bit tough right now Fuck it all Yeah Well what time can you come back He checked his Rolex at the time

And said come back in a couple of hours I had my watch in my pocket When I went into the dealers because I knew I was spelling this a mile away, and I still did it. What is wrong with me? That's why you're going to have one cousins. I was wearing my oasis tops.

I was a man of the people. I was following the clippers, saying, you know, I can't afford the fucking Lakers, right? I was doing everything I can. But here I am. So that's what's going on at this moment. If you want to listen to more,

the extended version of the podcast, go to our Patreon. We will be talking about the war. It's just Jim's complaints about various people that he runs into. his day-to-day. Mate, I'm going to do this so much. No, I'll tell you another one.

Guardian Angels locksmiths many years ago tried to charge me, tried to charge me fucking $4,000 for a job that another locksmith did for $800. You have reached an age. Don't think I don't fucking see you, Guardian Angels locksmiths. This, checking in with you now, Jim, you have reached an age where this has become like a phone call with my dad, which is, how much you reckon you'd pay for that? That's what I call my phone calls with that. How much are you reckon you'd have to pay for that?

I want to say to the Australians who are listening, that's $11,400 and something-something dollars American. That's $15,000 fucking grand on a car repair. Get the fuck out of here. I'm not, if they, I tell you what, I reckon it's a $4,000 repair. If they said $5 or $6, you've kind of got me, I don't want to spend the extra day doing things. I'm not going to, I'll think that I'm ripped off.

I won't come back to you again, but you've got me that time. Well, let's just put this out there, friends of the show, because I said that I needed a photographer and the listeners of ATM, there was a man who lives in Los Angeles who said, get my flights and accommodation out, get me a room at the wedding, I'll do it for free, here's my portfolio. Right, but do I have to chat to the cunt? Is that what's happened?

You're not putting it on a table with me, the free photographer. I know, he's taking photos, that's all right. I did say that you would appear at his house. He's like this one, bride and grooming the parents, just the bridesmaids, just gym by himself. More Jim by himself. Now, call one of the bridesmaids a cunt. Now, Jim, give you a 12.

Jim, come into the champagne room. No, but maybe there's an ATM listener who's a mechanic who can come over and probably plant a tracker in your car and hunt you down and go to a remote area, kill you. But, you know. The greatest podcast at earth is if I go to this next mechanics and they say 12 grand, and I've got to go crawling back to these people after this one's been released. This is how confident I feel in this. Well, I'm going to move us into.

some news of the world and Jim. Yeah. Where do we begin? I think we have to begin with what's happening in Iran. It's starting to seem like it's not going that well. I assume there's plenty of vehicles there that need maintenance. Yeah. They're not going to be overcharged, are they?

Mechanics there are fucking rubbing their hands together. Well, if you want to look at overcharged, how about the US taxpayer who thus far has forked out $5.6 billion in the initials? This is what does my head about paying taxes in America is okay, this is what I want my taxes to go towards. Getting homeless off the street, get rid of the fucking pot holes and give me health care. Other than that, do what the fuck you want with it, right? You don't give me any of those three people.

Then you give me a military that I don't want. And now, you don't support the troops. I do support the fuck up. I support anyone who fucking goes out there and fights for the country. Anyone who puts their life on the line, of course, I support the troops. But I don't believe in war. Well, $5.6 billion is quite a lot. And here's what's happened.

Iran has these $20,000 Shaheed drones. And then for us to shoot them down with our THAAD missiles or Patriot missiles and part of the Golden Dome program also there in Israel. They're like a few million bucks a pop. So the Iranians just throw out these cheap drones for 20 grand. And then we bang them down with a $3 million missile. And do you know what the Iranians have done, which has been amazing to watch. You know where we bought those missiles? Chrysler Jeep and Dodge Van Nuys.

Yeah, they're only 20,000. They're only 20,000. So one thing that the Iranians have done. You need a special one to be able to bomb girls' schools. They're quite a particular one that we've only got in stock for three mill. My friend, I have the right parts. Oh, there were so many my friends in there. You know my policy on people.

If you call me my friend, you're not my friend. You're trying to rip me off, my friend. So these machines, the Shaheeds, which is changing the way that warfare works, because their job in Iran is basically just to bankrupt us. And they're at a position now where Israel is getting hammered because we don't have the missiles to shoot him out of the sky anymore. They've exhausted us. So now Israel's saying, let's cool this war off. However, Donald Trump did say he wanted unconditional surrender, which is basically the position we put Japan into. So he's going to have to walk that back now because

turns out we don't have the missiles to protect our assets over there anymore. Our Gulf state neighbors are fucking furious because we've pulled out the missile protection systems there. And then how about this? We just pulled weapons out of South Korea. So now the Asians are saying, we're vulnerable to a Chinese attack. Did you hear this morning that Eric and Donald Jr. They've put money into a drone company and they're on the board this morning.

That feels like a conflict of conflict. Yeah, well, I mean, you tell me an administration where we haven't. It's like Dick Cheney and his, that's the way we do business in these fine United States. But yeah, it does seem like they're trying to walk back because for a second there, I mean, the whole point was regime change. And you know what's quite amusing about America. We fought a 20 year war to get rid of the Taliban and replace them with the Taliban. Yeah, we gave him the Taliban. But we gave a better version of the Taliban.

It was a good, it was a nicer, it was a smoother version. It was better. And now we got rid of the Ayatollah and replaced him with the sun. And Vietnam, we nailed that. one and then Afghanistan we did and the aisle, we replaced him with the son but he's more progressive, he's a younger man. It's like getting Donald Jr.

instead of Donald Trump. Well, I was going to say this is kind of what we need in America government ourselves. I mean, we're ruled by a bunch of 80-something year olds. It's like we've done Iran a favor and replaced the next generation into power. If you're over fucking 60 years old, you shouldn't have a say in fucking much, right?

I'm not saying you can't vote, right? but it's the young people's world. They inherit the fucking space. You just keep your property on the top of stuff, pass it on the next generation. But don't be making any fucking big decisions and try to keep the place as tidy as you found it, right? Watching old cunts just fucking hanging on the power

and trying to ruin the whole fucking place makes me angrier than at a customer service desk at Van Eyes, Jeep and Dodge, formerly Russell Westbrooks of Van Eyes. That's how angry I am. Now, Jack, one thing that's been making me quite upset is... Why are you talking to Jack for?

Because he's about to play the clip. Oh, yeah, okay. Yes, yes, yes. And I'm not just cutting you out. Even though on the screen, I see you and it says Jack Hackett, because you do use his laptop for this, which is fun. But the White House has been putting out these super cuts, which are just quite frankly, just absolutely disgraceful and tacky.

I mean, given that we dropped a Tomahawk missile on 180 schoolgirls, the fact that we're playing these sorts of clips, Jack, play the clip the White House is putting out, showing them taking at targets in Iran. Look at this. Yeah? What's your problem? Just as an Australian, I have to say, to take our unofficial national anthem and put it over warheads hitting targets in Iran. Is ACDC down with that? Are they getting paid? Well, some people are down with it, some people aren't. The one that is really interesting to me, and I think we find it's quite funny. Malcolm has dementia. Malcolm Young has dementia. He's probably okay with it. I'm sure Angus isn't as popular. Franz Ferdinand, they are song, take me out as being used by the IDF. The IDF is doing Super Cup videos as well because

that's the kind of slot we put on the internet. And Franz Ferdinand have come out and said, these warmongering murderers are using our music without our consent. And a lot of people are saying, well, that's going to upset the Israeli Defence Force that they've come out like that. And then I thought, wouldn't it be amazing if the IDF killed Franz Ferdinand and started World War Three? Take him out. Wouldn't it be wonderfully ironic if it was Franz Ferdinander for the second time that starts a global conflict? I mean, that's the timeline we're in.

What do you think of these governments using essentially like just slop videos of First of all, that's AI made, right? That's just AI slapping things together and going football, bashing, things that Americans like, you have a bit of a beat to it. You reckon AI? You think someone actually made it. And so they're like, we like football, feel good about America.

Well, Jack, I've got another video for you to play because they show these helicopters getting here. Do you reckon Iran's doing a similar thing? They're playing their music with a falcon flying off someone's arm. And then, like, they're bombing back with their drones. They're falcon flies off. Well, they'll probably do super cuts from the movie 300 with, like, Xerxes.

Yeah, yeah. Good stuff. Yeah. With like the, remember when they shoot the arrow at Xerxes and just grazes past his cheek like that? It'd be that with a missile, an American missile. Don't. Grazes the cheek. You cannot get rid of the Persians.

But look at these videos, Jack. Take a peek at what the targets a lot of American missiles have been hitting. Check this video out of the inflatables. These are brilliant. I want one for my next kid's birthday party in the backyard. Who doesn't want one of them around? So they're just laying these inflatables out, like people did in World War II where they did paper drawings of troops.

And so the Americans are spending, that's your tax dollars that you pay a lot of. You pay a little bit. I pay, I think last year, about $7,000. $7,000 of mine to take out an inflatable. You're literally the tip of the, the arrow. Just the little tip that screws on. Well, they could have just come with literally

a tip, a nail. Yeah. A pinprick is what I could have paid and taken that out just as well. That's what they should do. They should bloody put thumbtacks all around their prisons and their deserts and take out their fucking tanks. If they come rolling in, they'll all pop.

And then they'll do the old joke. They'll look at the tank and go, you let yourself down, you let me down, you let the country down. So also some soldiers are dying. now. We don't know how many because they do, apparently for the special forces, the families of special forces know that they

won't always announce that they're dead. Right. When it's just regular infantrymen, those numbers are much harder to hide because, you know, they don't do these NDAs, but if you're in the special forces. I've met some special forces people in my day and one of them said to me once

that when he he worked under Bush and he worked under Obama, right? And he said that under a Republican government, this might always be the case, but he said under a Republican government, he worked very little, right? But under the Democrats, he was working all the time because he was sent on secret missions, right, with seal teams and stuff like that. He said he was always busy under the Democrats because the Democrats were like, go over there and do this job, right? And then under Bush, it was just like, we're going to send in the tanks and the airplanes and the helicopters and this and the soldiers.

We're going to make a big show of it. So allegedly they work less underneath the Republicans. Well, these guys There's been, I think seven, I don't know how many more now by the time we release this have died. And did you see Donald Trump receiving the soldiers

got a lot of criticism because he was there? So what are they like, seal team minus one now? That was down to seal team of four. They, catering, right? Whoever these likes are. Did you see he had a hat on?

He wore his hat and people were very upset. Who wore a hat? Who wore a hat? Donald Trump wore his hat. He wore a MAGA hat. He loves the MAGA hat. He had that big USA hat. Oh, the USA one I like.

That's more patriotic. It's for everyone. I like that one. But other members were all dressed in the nines and he had, I think it was an open shirt and a hat. You could still buy that hat. You voted for him. You could buy that hat. I didn't vote for Donald Trump.

You would have you figured. And what I think is interesting is the Fox News Network. Okay, you know how Donald Trump has been suing CBS or what, ABC for editing the interviews? Yes, I've heard about this. Of, you know, of Biden and Kamala. It was editing. It was editing. Yeah.

Well, Fox News have run a completely different reception of a dead body because Donald Trump was not wearing his hat and was wearing a more formal attire. And because Trump was getting criticism for wearing the hat, when they aired on the news, they aired him in different clothes and went, what do you mean? Donald Trump was wearing, he wasn't wearing a hat. So I'd love to see the court case that could be brought for that, wouldn't you? What, just a hat or no hat? Hat or no hat. This is another distraction. This is the distract you from the war, hat or no hat.

He's a master illusionist. He points you in one direction. He does something else. We haven't. Look, is ice still going on? Is ice still a thing? No, but this is the thing. 100%.

That was the only news story. No, no, no, no. You reckon ice is over? No, no. Ice, this is the thing about ice. So Donald Trump promised mass deportations. Yeah. Okay.

So they have all these vicious, you know, militarized people on the streets. They make a few headlines. They do quite a few intense deportations. But his numbers compared to Obama are nothing. So his right-wing base, right now we're looking at it. Donald Trump came out yesterday and said, we have to lay off on foreign workers and undocumented workers because we frankly need them for the economy. So he's gone from no war to potentially boots on the ground in Iran.

We need to lower gas prices to gas prices are extremely. extremely high, but it's patriotic and we have to put up with it. And also, we can't deport people. Send the eyes to Iran to fight. They're used to, bloody, tackling brown people. That's their big thing. Send the ice people. If they're so gunho about capturing people, off you go, boys.

Off you go to war. Baron can't go. Do you hear Baron can't go? Too tall. Is he too much of a target? He said, I reckon with Baron's haircut, a bullet would just fucking slide off it, Just ricochet just off the fucking slick back hair. Bang, hit a taller bloke behind him.

As I've said he, he's about six foot eight, right? Isn't he about six foot eight? As I've said in stand up before, I think ice would be very comfortable in Iran because not too many women driving there, and that's their number one predator. I tell you. We're trying to drive them off the street.

Yeah, okay, that's poor taste. We're in the middle of a war. Jack liked it. Jack liked it. Also, it would melt because ice, it's very hot over there. Ice is a very popular thing in America. Okay You never

You never seen that After we kill the infidels Let's get a slurpy You've never heard it You've never heard that sentence Never happened Never Never

Now obviously because of the war Iran is lashed out Freezels Iran has lashed out At Gulf State Partners Which is upsetting the relationship Between us and our Gulf State allies And then also Israel

Hit the Iran oil Which you see those Leave Leave Leave Israel out of it. They've done nothing. Leave them out of it. Do you see the full apocalypse that we had there?

Those just a red haze looking like a full doomsday in Iran. And then they're taking out ships. So the oil price went up and now it's coming down because reserves have been released. But there's obviously going to be pressure at the pump. I filled up the other day here in Australia and it's the most I've ever seen. It was like $2.45 for a leader. But Fox News, who keep in mind. This is all to make us buy Tesla, as you know.

It's all to make us buy Tesla is. It's the master plan. Keep in mind under the Biden administration, I do recall Fox News relentlessly saying what a disgrace it was that the president was putting working class Americans through this price pressure. Oh, yes. Although now they have changed their tune somewhat. Listen to this lady on Fox telling the Americans that they just have to get more patriotic.

I'm already excited. Until people can wrap their heads around that. I just think about every time this happens and people start the gas prices my dad pulls out the ration coupon book from World War II and tells me how my granddaddy Chevy dealership just went poof overnight didn't get it back lost his business it just went goodbye because all of the auto manufacturing was redirected toward wartime manufacturing so let's pull our trousers up, shall we? Taylor. Julian Moore's had a lot of those.

I'm okay, yeah, look, I want to apologize to Chrysler Deep and Joiff and Dodge. They're coming through a hardship right now. They might actually lose the dealership because of the war, and they had to do what they had to do, and look, I'm happy to donate. I'm going to take the car in there. There's nothing I can, I tolerate, This is something, okay, so you'll know this, right? But growing up in Australia, I believe fuel was more expensive.

Petrol, as we call it, gasoline, was more expensive than here in America. I don't know if it still is, right? In Britain, it was substantially more expensive than it is here in America. I find American fuel to be pretty reasonably priced in comparison to other places I've been. Obviously not Dubai where it's like fucking 10 cents a gallon or some shit. But Americans go on about the price of fuel so fucking much. It's like it's their default. Australians go on about flight paths.

Have you ever seen that about Australians? You don't want to live under the flight path. This property's under the flight path. They're changing the flight path. I've never heard an American mention a flight path, but Australians are obsessed with flight paths. Americans obsessed with the price of gasoline. Well, the gas, I mean, listen, that's how you get the cheap products.

It's not just about you filling out your car. It's about getting products all around the country. Yeah, but if you've seen the country where they're like, I can't go on holiday because of gasoline, we can't. can't go on holiday this year. Really, you were 20 bucks off a good holiday, were you? You were that close? And then the gas went up and now you have to fucking stay at home.

I can tell you something about like stand-up comedy tickets and live events. Ticket sales in the last week have plummeted. No one wants to go out to live events where you can see me at Hershey this weekend or Boston at the Wang Theatre because people are scared to leave their house because we've got like what in New York where you live. right? The mayor had a couple of bombs thrown at him. Did you see that? I did. There was ISIS attacks supposedly. I don't know why the ISIS. I don't know why ISIS were throwing bombs at the first Muslim mayor of New York, but do you reckon ISIS and ICE could get together and

have like some combined? Ice ISIS. Ice, ISIS, baby. That's the SummerSlam event. If Dana White could, you know he would do a W he would do a UFC event, which is an ice fighter versus an ISIS fighter. Dude, ice first ISIS would probably be the greatest Vegas event. They would hate each other, but they have more in common than they know. Because you know, in old combat, like you've seen Troy, they used to send out a hero from each team. And you'd go, instead of our armies fighting, let's just send out a representative out and they fight on the sand and then the winner wins. I think that. You should, the strongest illegal immigrant versus the strongest isolation.

Uhwell versus Alan. It's a guy called Angel versus Tom Homan. That certainly would reduce the amount of time. We have to worry about this. Oh, Angel beat him fair and square. In you come, boys. Call it a day, lads, call it a day. Turn the missiles up.

Don't point him towards the girls' schooling. Donald Trump is looking for, he's got that fight at the White House, doesn't he? So maybe he just does that. We get a representative of all the races. We just get them out there for a fucking, just get all this racial tension out. And have them all race? The race of the races. The race of the races.

The race are, have them all line up? It's a race bait. Yeah, I don't know if the whites will do too well in that one, to be honest with you. No, no, no, no. That's not out. We'll be there with the starter gun. Yeah. We'll have the, as long as we can ride a bike.

It's not real bullets. What was I doing? They were running away. I thought he was running away to get a gun to attack me. I had to shoot. You saw it. He was reaching for his pants. I don't know.

He was on the ground on his hands and knees and then he propped up all of a sudden. So anyway, the gas prices are going to continue to rise. And we all have to be patriotic about it because it's Donald Trump. I mean, the level of culthood of his supporters who is still buying that. Okay. So my father, I think I mentioned this in the last podcast. I rang him up and gone, how's it going? And dad's like, oh, bloody, the Middle East, they've always had problems.

And it's good that he's coming to sort it out now. So my dad's all on board. And my dad's big thing was, and same with you. Your big thing was he didn't start a war before. He's the anti-war president. And then he changed the Ministry of Defense, the Ministry of War. And here we are. And, you know, it's all Trump voters, I don't want to go, I told you so, because what's the point?

We need to join together now as a group. If you did vote for Donald Trump and you think that. things are going great, good for you. But if you don't think it's going great, don't make this mistake again. I'm not saying don't vote Republican. I'm not saying don't vote for fucking mad candidates. Not fucking really mad ones. Trying to go for the middle central type of thing.

Just try to steer the boat a little bit right. There's an extension of that, though. It's like, listen, we had this proxy war with Russia going on in the Ukraine, which was an absolute meat grinder. And basically the CIA did a Maidon coup on the Ukraine. people in 2014 and there's been this massive buildup for this war where we're essentially just massively slaughtering the global economy and bodies in the Ukraine. And so people said, I'm anti-war.

And to watch people that were criticising the Biden administration for Ukraine then cheer on this war, you're a disgrace. Yeah. I mean, I'm maintaining my isolationist policy. So you can at least stick by, well, this is the policy. And a politician says, well, this is what we're going to do. And then he betrays you in the base. yeah, you can feel ashamed that you got tricked.

But you have to stay on your views of why, why, like what reasoning led you to that? And you feel like a complete fucking spanner? I've been listening to Tucker Carlson lately because he has actually changed because he voted for Trump and he actually said, I voted for Trump, and now he's gone against Trump and against Fox News. And I think he's a good listening at the present moment. I think Trump's gone against him. I mean, the whole premise of that support and the amalgamation of the Maha movement, the RFK juniors, the Tulsi Gabbards, was, well, we're going to be a more isolationist country

and we've learned from the 20 years of disastrous foreign intervention. And if you look at Donald Trump speaking from about 2014-15, he's attacking Obama, going Obama's weak, he's going to get us into a war with Iran, their war hawks, Hillary Clinton's psychotic, she wants nothing but regime change because of what she'd done to Gaddafi. That was all true. He changed. His base did not. Like that was, he is betrayed.

Let's get into it. Do you think that it's just Israel holding Epstein stuff over the top of him and now he has to do. I think he's listening to Colonel Douglas McGregor talking about this and he was saying it happens to all presidents, particularly the longer you're in the game. You're tired, you're worn down and you have essentially CIA and other generals coming into you in the middle of the night. Sir, if you don't act now, if you don't act now, we're about to be wiped from the map. They're going to, they're going to wipe us. We're getting intel saying they're going to blow us up. up and then you can feel anti-war, but also in the back of your head, you always think,

am I going to be the president that was seen as soft and weak on a nation that, you know, essentially wiped us out? So they get grinded down, you know. It's why Obama came in as the hope and change candidate. And by the end, he was, you know, droning all of the Middle East because it's like, this has to be done. What's going to happen next is we're going to go so hippie to the left, it's going to be ridiculous again.

We're going to the pendulum's going to swing all the way to the other side. We just need to stay in the fucking middle, but we're not going to stay in the fucking middle. What happened? We had the church committees, what was that in the 70s after a lot of all this stuff about the CIA came out? And there was this big moment where it was like, oh, my God, the CIA has done this MK Ultra. They've been involved in these regime change wars. They had the Iran-Contra deal going on. Remember all that?

And then we went like, oh, we probably shouldn't trust government agencies. And now we're back into this position where we just know that we don't really live in a democracy. We are controlled by the military and the intelligence agencies, oligarchs, donors. I mean, Donald Trump took God. I mean, he started saying, I'm a billionaire. I don't need money from donors. And then the Adelson family gives him billions of dollars to support the Israeli cause. It's like, I mean, how can anyone be motivated for the political process, really?

I mean, this is just a black pill moment for me where I'm like, well, I don't think I'll ever get swept into another candidate ever again on anything, unless Tucker runs. In the time I've known you, you've been. swept into several candidates. You get fucking excited when there's a new happy meal toy that you go. This is the best one. Well, you think you love politics. I want to say one thing about what Tucker was saying about the case,

the bombing of the school, the girls' school. They claim that people claim that it is AI that is choosing our bomb locations. Our targets, our targets. Well, did you remember that that AI group left the military because they weren't comfortable with the security that was involved in that? and now we've got a new AI company involved.

It has to have a human oversee it at the end, surely. Because this school was a building, it was next to a base. It was actually where the soldiers' daughters went, right? For the most part, it was right next to the base. Dude, they double-tapped it. Do you know what a double-tap is? Your double-tap is when the people go there to get the survivors, then they bomb it again 40 minutes later.

And they went again when they were trying to get the survivors. And even if it was the military base, I fucking like If Iran bombs a girl's school next to a base here in America that place is fucking flattened

Iran doesn't exist anymore The bomb gets dropped Right The bomb gets dropped If they did that We're going there to rescue the women of Iran Meanwhile we kill 180 girls school 180 girls in a school

Maybe they thought it was a camp for ninjas That's the only thing I can think could have been. Actually, take that out. Bombed the school. Don't take it. His dad's daughter's thing. That would have been a good target, though.

We knocked out that ninja school. Thank you sure you take all this out. Okay. There's so many ninjas. I looked at the missile. I said, whoa, ninjas everywhere. They said, sir, that's a woman. I said, wow, they're ugly women.

I know women can do anything now. That's what they say. They keep saying to me, sir, they're not a threat. I said, why do they look like ninjas? They've got little stars, probably nunchucks. If you can see what I see, people say, Tucker Carlson, real dummy, Cookie Tucker, weird laugh. He says, they're all just women there getting hurt.

I said, Tucker. Cut it out, cut it out. Tucker, they're jewel thieves. Tucker, they're jewel thieves. Oh, leave it in. Leave it. No, you can leave that in. They said their kids, they say, well, well, that's sad.

No, let us just say categorically that we condemn the death of... Oh, yes, we need to say that we condemn that. We are making jokes. Now, here's what, here's what is humorous to me. I have a laugh every single time I hear this. Tell me if this is immature. So obviously, the oil has to get through the straits of Hamoos, and now it's been under attack by drone strikes

and so the oil tankers won't go through that's why the prices go up. And I hear the straits. I've seen this. So this is like basically, I didn't know much about this. It's like the Panama Canal and they're just, you know,

it's another big trade route and they're cutting off. And Trump said if they continue to block this route, then we will hit you at 20 times more bombs, which you know is a lie because we're running out of bombs. Yes. So I just, every single time, have a little giggle because it's between Iran and Oman and they say the straits of Hamoes. And then I always think,

what a great name for a good name for a lot of, gay club, the gays of Hamos. The gays of Hamos? That's what we're fighting for, by the way, is to liberate Iran so that they can have a gay club called the Gays of Hamoses. Why is the Gays of Hamos? I'm not getting the joke. What's the joke?

The Straits of Hamos. Oh, the gays of Hamos, the straits of Hamos. Wouldn't that go off in Beverly Hills with all the gay Persians? No, no. Yeah, yeah. The gaze of Hamos. That deserved more. I would like one shop in the middle of the city in Iran where everything's blown up around it.

They're just called I stayed. No? What's I stayed? Iran. This one shop changes you name to the shopping center? When everybody was fleeing, I stayed. Iran. Well, I stayed.

Yes, the one bodega in Tehran that was available for their people. Oh, God. All right. Well, we've done enough on this. Right. Yeah, no. Well, maybe we'll be, listen, maybe we'll be off-ramping. This will be old news in a week. We're not going to be in this war for years. Trump has told us he's got a quick exit. All he wanted to do was get in there, get rid of the Ayatollah, put his son into power, and call it a day. Call it a day.

You didn't want anything else. So all good. All good. Move on. Yesterday's news, Amos. What else you got for me? Well, I've got some other really interesting news. First one is coming out of where you live in Los Angeles, California. Oh, I thought it was a state of delusion. Uber rolls out women-only option in the US. Uber has launched a feature allowing female drivers and passengers across the US to request trips with only women drivers on the way. I am handling that.

This is misogynist Jim Jeffrey speaking right now. I am all for this. I think this is a good thing. That protects women. They'll feel more comfortable. I wouldn't mind if they went only men so I could get to my destination safely. And we could all have our go. But no, I'm for this.

I think this is a good thing. This is a good move. Who could hate this as an option? Well, it is, but it is interesting. It's like, okay, once we do that and we say that, I'd feel more safe if I was riding with a woman. Okay. What would you say if I said, I simply will not ride with. Chinese.

I would, no, you can't do that. No, because that is just a stereotype. Women being raped by Uber drivers is not a stereotype, Amos. Do you understand the difference? Do you understand the difference? Yes, but I have an irrational fear, but it is a fear nonetheless. Yes. That a Chinese man is going to careen me into traffic.

And therefore, I have a Japanese person. Wonderful drivers. Okay. I would like no one driving me over the age of 65. Yeah, okay, so we can discriminate on age. So essentially you go, age, yes. No over 65 drivers. Gender, I'd feel safer with a man.

I want all the music to be in English. 25 to 65. This is Uber comfort for you. No foreign music. No bad bunny, please. Just give me a filter, like to go through height and this. Selecting a hooker. Yeah.

And then eventually. Like, we will get to that position. What if people do say, I just don't feel safe with a certain race? Okay, so let's, like, obviously that's not going to happen, but the woman thing is a good thing, right? The woman thing is a good thing. I would feel safer with my wife getting into a car with a female driver. But then brings this argument. Where do the trans go?

Well, if you think we've had arguments about female spaces of the toilets, it will be transgender people that try and cut corners on Uber. If transgender people are going, I get. to be in the female car or I get to be a female driver. There'll be people who are not happy with that because, you know, biologically, you still aren't a woman. So it's, it's, that's a tricky one. Do you ever remember, do you watch The League of Gentlemen? That was like my favorite TV show. I tried to watch that the other day here.

You can't get it here. It was on BBC. It was on Britbox for a while. And now it's gone. And there's literally, you can't watch it on YouTube or anything. The League of Gentleman used to have a character called Babs Cabs Cabs. Uh-huh. And Babbs was someone who had just had the surgery.

And she's like, hey, get in my car. Oh, no, they just lopped it off. I've still got it in a box. Like that, right? Babs Cabs was hilarious. You couldn't do it today. But it was a winning sketch. Every time someone got picked up at the train station,

they always got picked up by Babs before the character went off to the next sketch. Do you know they're getting sued right now? Well, Babs Cabs. No, Babs Cabs Cabs. A US court ordered Uber to pay $8.5 million to a woman who said she was raped by a man driving for Uber in a legal ruling that could influence the outcome of thousands. There is an advert going on right now. You know, when you're listening to an advert and you have to think to yourself,

does this apply to me? Right. It's like, do you have mezzlophilioma? You can get a thing. There is a court case with people who have mesophilioma. There's one at the moment that's just like, have you been raped by an Uber driver? And I had to sit back and go, no, right? But other people have.

Yeah. Right? So obviously this is enough for them to say, have you been raped by an Uber driver? And then there's enough. There's a full class action. There's enough people who are going, yes, I have, because a lot of girls get in them when they're drunk. But it's so weird, I felt like it would have been worse in the era of cabs than it would have been with an Uber. Uber, you can raid each other.

You don't like, you go, I got raped, one star, right? Like, you know what way? Waymo just be the answer? Yeah, but then you want to be fingered by a robot. I assume there's a robot that sits at the front, right? There's no robot. Well, I guess the, yeah, the pervert would be, there's probably cameras all over the Waymo. The pervert would be the

Elon Musk. The Tesla pervert. There's a fucking Elon Musk has probably got upskirts of everybody from Waymo. Don't sue me. Do you reckon people shag in Waymo's? Of course they do, right? Couples get it on in Waymos. No doubt.

There has to be a porn hub video that's a really, that's really. And someone, there's cameras, but I say enjoy the show. It's just the person. I don't want, whatever. I had a wank in the back of a Waymo. I just got to drive me around the block. I didn't even want to go anywhere. You're just looking for air conditioning on a hot day.

and a bit of privacy. And then, and then they'll put me on some porn hub and I'll get them for revenge porn and then I'll sue them. Hey, speaking of porn hub quickly, it's banned in Australia now. I went to porn hub the other day. It's been banned. So I go on, I'm doing a live, just, you know, I'm doing a live Instagram and, you know, people ask you questions. And the thing is, how do you feel about porn hub being banned? This is yesterday.

So is it just that they've banned it so that you have to be over 18? No, it's right. I think they're doing a protest against the gun. government for requiring the ID laws like happening in a lot of American states. So you know what they've done. They've taken all the adult content. They did it in the UK. All the adult content is off.

And so Porn Hub, all you can get on there now is podcasts of Porn Stars, which is, you know, it's a difficult wank, but if you can get there in the end, we, we have to, source your conversation. We have to, we have to, uh, get this back up before April 18th or it's a fucking disaster. For a while, Do you know during April 18th that Pornhub were just showing anal videos on April 18th on the front page? And they made the A into a butt plug, right? We've all got to leave our mark on this world, huh?

I'm just saying that's, look, a lot of people, look, I've done a lot of shady things in me life, but I'll tell you, the best thing I've done in this world is I really made that into a holiday. You're welcome, America, Australia. You're welcome. To anyone who's ever celebrated, just like the wife's gone, go on, it is April, They've had a bit of a giggle, right? You're welcome. Well, let me say this to you also about the female safety in a car.

I was talking the other day to a stripper who was working at a comedy club. Right. Yeah, you have to say that when you're engaged and you live in the same apartment. No, she's a... I was talking a stripper in a comedy club. She got employed by our manager. Oh, yes, yes, okay. So this is our Andrew Taylor employed a stripper to work for it.

to work at my company club. This is actually a year ago that we had this conversation, but it stuck with me. Her name's Roobes, and that's not her real name. It's the only name our manager does remember. And I was talking to Roobes about, I said, I'm always interested when I talk to strippers about what's it like in there actually. How do you feel with the man creeps, give me some stories, you know,

we're like chatting because she was talking to me about, getting heckled by these crazy people. I said, you must get it worse than me. She goes, the worst I get. is women. I said, is that so? And she goes, yes. Drunk women come in and think, well, it's all a bit of fun and they do this like, yes, queen.

She goes, and they try and grab my ass, squeeze my tits. Some of them have tried to slide a finger inside me while I'm squatting down, giving a dance, because they think, I'm a woman, I can get away with this. Okay, so I'm going to tell you a story. So I went to the thunder from down under. There was a sitcom that me and Chris Case wrote many years ago about me being the original member from the Thunder from Down Under and being kicked out of the team. And then it was basically like a Kenny Powell is what happens to that guy after he loses stripping.

What can he? And so we had this in development with TBS many, many years ago. And to get the authenticity of the strip club right, you know, we went to Vegas, me and Chris, and we went to the Thunder from Down Under. Now the Thunder from Down Under is obviously a bunch of it. And Jack, you can put the picture up of me shirtless here at this moment. The one where I'm there. Pasty.

It's on my Instagram somewhere. But the guys were so nice. And I got on state. So me and Chris are sitting at the booth up the back. And the bloke who was the MC. You know, they put on a good show, those lads. They come out as cavemen. And they do a thing called, um, they do 50 shades of good day.

Good on you. Pretty good. They come out in suits. Anyway, the MC comes out and goes, hey ladies, we have a. guest in the room tonight. Jim, fucking Jeffries, all the lads are happy, all Australian boys, right? The women couldn't have been

less happy with me and Chris being there, first of all. They weren't over the moon with us being. Because it ruined their little secret. When women are together in front of strippers, they are, you know, when you watch that porn where it's like some strip club and all the girls start sucking the guy off?

And it's out of some eastern blocked up a country, and it's just like, oh, all the girls are clapping along. as, you know, that's not far from the truth. The women are grabbing. This is what this girl told me. She says they go grabby, they go mad. They lose their, they completely lose it.

They complete. So when men are in a strip club, it's like we're a whole lot of wolves looking at a sheep. Just waiting. You know what I mean? I feel like people are, dudes are always like in this awestruck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but we're trying to act cool. We're not trying to go, woo-hoo!

It's not like World War II, right? And they haven't seen a girl. I remember going to Afghanistan, Iraq. And I went to Iraq, I think, yeah, Iraq. Afghanistan and Iraq, when I went to entertain the troops, and they bring up page three models from Britain. And the guys, that's the only time I saw that whole Marilyn Monroe walking out during the war and all the, in Korea and all the guys were like that.

Because those guys were starved of it so much that they lost their brains when they saw an attractive woman. And they were just men there. They didn't have any for me. But I saw that. firsthand. But if you go to a strip club, men are trying to act cool and we're trying to like, you know, and the women are trying to hustle us sometimes. The women, when they're watching a male stripper, they're just like, there's no grabbing, but we're not going to tell anyone. They do one of those jokes. And then the women are just grabbing fucking.

I just had, I just, quickly, I just had an idea. Yeah. That's just, as you were saying that, went across my head. Yeah. This, this conflict zone that we're in now, we have way more gays and women are in the military now. Does that mean if we are in an active combat like World War III, that when they bring in the models, they're going to have to bring in men, nude dancers, and women, new dancers for equality? I think that would be the right thing to do.

Have you seen... You can be sitting there in the crowd and there's just a guy completely like shirtless. Can you fact check this for me? The Iranian female soccer team, maybe four of the girls from the team... Have become Australian now, yes. become Australian refugee status and don't have to go back because the team was playing in

Australia when it all happened. And we've taken them in. And homosexuality, I assume, is illegal in Iran. I don't want to say what these girls are, but they are female soccer players. 50-50 chance? Five of them. Five of them, right? Right.

You think that they've taken, that's a good romance movie that they've taken their chance to Australia to get married? That's a brilliant romance movie. that a couple of them are fucking licking each other out and then fucking the war breaks out and they're over the moon about it. Who, by the way, who would get brought over to the soldiers now to dance, celebrities?

Who's our... Sydney Sweeney's 100%. Sydney Sweeney would be for the young lads and then for the generals to bring over Megan Fox. Yeah, and then I think then you'd probably bring out Timothy Chamoulet. Timothy Shalue for the more of it. And then, you know, you get some, you know,

The Matilda's would come out for the girls. Sam Kerr's going to juggle the football of everyone. Woo, woo, woo, woo. It's Megan Rappado. It's Megan Rappado. Hey, actually, I wanted to bring this up to you also, actually. But back to that soccer thing, don't you think that why only five are the team, right?

The rest of them, maybe they've got kids, the rest of them. You don't want to leave your children. Or you don't leave your country. You don't, really? You don't want to leave Iran right? now, right? As a woman, you wouldn't take your shot and leave if you're in Australia. I don't know. Maybe you've got kids over there or... Yeah, if you've got kids. It's not like they're playing soccer in New Zealand or South Africa

or something. They're in Australia, right? They want this. This is going to be good, right? To our New Zealand and South African listeners, we're joking. You don't understand. Carry on. We've got this Australian sense of humor. It's different. We're a bit different. Anyway, I wanted to raise this with you quickly before I forget it. Because this is so up your alley. I can't believe I didn't lead with this. Because I mentioned Timothy Chamolay. That's another good name for a gay nightclub.

Up your alley. Honestly, the amount of IP we throw out there, gaze of amoos, up your alley, no cane. It's all there. Isis, ISIS baby, yeah. Timothy Shamillay has come under a lot of furor from the arts world because he was mocking. Jack, did I send you this clip of him talking to Matt McConaughey?

No. I believe I've seen this. Okay. So what it is is he essentially said... Matthew McConaughey did a shit on his toilet or something like that. There was a something about... No, no, no, no. So what the story was was...

I thought I sent it to you, but anyway, Timothy Chamalay is being interviewed about the cinema, sort of going through a difficult time. And he says, man, we need to save it because I don't want movies to become like the opera or ballet, you know, shit that we can. keep around that no one's interested in watching. And then he goes, oops, through some shade there, I just lost 14 cents from my opera fans.

And now the American opera and ballet have come out and said, you know, what a disgrace from... He's not wrong. He's not wrong. But you're an opera singer, so I wanted to get your take on this. I studied opera singing and I have friends who are in the Australian opera. And I will tell you right now that it's a government-funded thing because we have to put... Look, we have the most...

famous building in the world. In the fucking world, we have to put operas on in there. Because if you just call it the Australian house, right? No one would give a fuck, right? But because we call it the opera house, you can only so often put on quirky comedians and fucking, you have to put operas on, right? But the operas can only run for a few weeks

because that's how many people want to buy the tickets. If you go to see musical theatre, it takes for some musical theatre shows, big lavish productions like Wicked, it takes like a year to actually make the money because they have to go through the rehearsals and the technology and the putting together at the stage, and then after it's just gravy, right?

You're just making money after that, right? You can't make money out of the opera. You can't sell every single ticket at the Sydney Opera House and still make money. The government has to subsidise this. So yes, it is an art form that we don't want to lose, but if you go and see the opera, which I have done, and it is wonderful, when you see it, you go, that's beautiful.

Some of the things are amazing, right? but the people in there are dying. They are old. They are really old. Yeah. I'd like to see my friends. It's been a while. But I've been doing a joke about this where I'm saying all the pros like me that

have been like, we have to fight for Western civilization. It turns out when we said we were fighting for Western civilization, it was just to say fag and retard. It wasn't actually to preserve the works of Verdi. Well, that's what's basically. Also, with the ballet, the ballet surprises me because I don't know if that's subsidized. I would never go to it. But so many little girls do that as their sport or their activity after school.

If I had a daughter, I'd probably take them to dance class like every other, you know what I mean? We've got to vote for Donald Trump, because if we don't vote for Trump, then we won't ever see Wagner again. But this is my point, right? So my son plays Little League baseball and he watches baseball, right? He plays basketball and he watches basketball. Girls do dance and they don't watch dance. Would you like some fat? Would you actually like the statistics?

Yeah. An official survey of arts attendance in the US carried out every five years showed that just 0.7% of the population have gone to the opera at least once in 2022. down from 2.2% in 2017. Ballet and a live dance went from 8.2% to 4.7% over the same time period. So the opera is now seen by 0.7% of the population. If anyone ever tells you they're a dancer, I'm a dancer, I want to be a dancer, that is the most pointless occupation a human being can do because it doesn't pay money.

Millions of people want to do it. It's a good skill to have if you can sing and act, if you can be a triple. threat. If you want to be an entertainer, that's another thing. I still think it's better than being an Iranian diplomat, but carry on. He brought it back. But name me, there's about four famous dancers in history. Literally four famous dances that are just, Michael Flattley, Rudolph Noreyev, fucking another two, right? Yeah. And all these people that, I know a girl who was a backup dancer for a very, very famous pop star, and she was on like 500 bucks a week. It pays off on your wedding.

Doing arenas. Doing arenas. Right? Yeah, well, who would just watch someone just dance? Well, that's the whole thing. But there's whole TV shows. So you think you can dance? Where three are the best dancers ever.

It's got like fucking Jennifer Lopez there who's singing and dancing. It can't just be your one thing. Let me ask you a question. The best dancer in the world. The best dancer in the world. Yeah. Vers a mid-tier stripper at a Miami nightclub who's got more career earnings. That's the only way you actually make money as a dancer.

Yeah. That's it. That is. They're the other dancers. Is there up market strip clubs where it's essentially just a ballet recital, but the tits are out? For guys that have monocles where they... Yeah. Like for old ladies wearing fur and men in tuxedos and cumber buns, they go down there and they just watch a pleia but nude.

And all the lap dances cost $22. $22? Thank you. A ballad bar. Yeah, yeah, they go up to the bar. They throw their leg on it. Do you want a part of dad? You put a $100 bill on your mouth and she does a plea A and picks it up with her pussy.

Yeah, yeah, that could be. That's how we keep the arts alive. It could be called horizontal bar. Horizontal pole. It may be the only way to preserve it. I think strip clubs should have to, strip clubs of America should have to give like a 5% tithing of their income to contemporary ballet to pay respects to where it all started. You know?

Keep the actual dancers employed. Yeah. I'm glad we went from my car to the war to dance. The subjects we've covered today have been just fucking on point. Well, people hate, people hate Timmy Shamley for this. They're saying he's become a real little prick. He was always a bit of a prick, but he's a very good actor. I've always found him to be a bit prickish.

I've never looked at him and thought he's not prickish, but people think I'm prickish. So, you know, I don't know the man, but he's a very good actor. Would you like me to bring up one more topic? Sure. Why not? One more. Give him a rally on the drive. Also, I have a cunt of the day. Do you want to hear my cun of the week? Well, obviously, it's your mechanic, but go on. No, religion. I've decided to give it to religion, because religion, you've done it again. We're all fighting. Well done religion. The atheists are sitting back going, what are they upset again now? Oh, some holy land. Fuck religion. I, I, I, you know what? After I finish. to Jim Jeffery's show, I went on a sabbatical from the news.

I was like, I can't handle it anymore. I don't want to have opinions anymore. I just got fucking told off. When I talked to you about topical stories on the show, I'd say the sabbatical is still going. Mate, this last week, I'm back, baby. This war has brought me back. I'm starting to write religious jokes again. I'm fucking, I'm good to go.

I've got a fire in me belly. I'm getting upset by the world again. It's done it. It's broken me. It's broken me. I used to say to my son, it's not worth worrying about it. You just live your own life and don't worry about the news. Don't worry about it.

But it's worth worrying about. No, I mean, when I watched that video of Donald Trump with the evangelicals praying over him during that time, I thought, my God, I thought we were fighting a theocracy. That was tough. Okay, I'm going to finish on a little bit of doom for you. Can we talk about quickly the two boats from England that were being serviced at the same time, and that's why the English didn't have the boats? I love that.

Yes, Kiyosthama and the Brits were like, we're not going to be helping with bringing aircraft carriers into the Middle East. We don't want to add fire. And it comes out. Both of them were actually just getting serviced. Both getting serviced at the same time. And Jeremy Clarkson wrote an article saying, even the dumbest of families in the UK understand,

when you take in mum's car for a service, leave dad's at home because you'll need one to get around. Yeah. We got both the ships in getting serviced. Can we do the war in a couple of weeks? You shouldn't have that many mechanics. You should only have enough to service. You shouldn't have the mechanics to service two.

There is never going to be a reason to service both of them. Oh, mate, I lived in England. This is as typical the British as possible. The British, I reckon before World War II were the hardest working people in the world. And then when they won that war, they called it a fucking day. Because fuck me,

they have some bloody laziness to them at times. But it's funny. Britain missing out on this war and getting all the plaudits as being good guys, but it was actually just their incompetence. He's a little bit like Elon Musk getting plaudits for not going to Epstein's Island, but he just wasn't invited. Oh, yeah, not even.

Epstein would have gone in his Woody Allen voice that he has, Oh, I'm Epstein. You know, like, I used to think he was going to be like, hey, I'm Jeffrey Epstein. I know everybody. I know all your secrets. And he sounds like, oh, he would have gone, we can't have Elon here. He scares the hookers. Yeah.

Listen, we've gone for more dynamic personalities like Stephen Hawking and Bill Gates. Yeah, exactly. Like Bill Gates doesn't scare the hookers, but Elon does. Elon's like this, you could go up to space. It could take you to space. You'd be in space before the end of the week. I've sent people. And we'll have a lot of privacy up there.

More privacy in this island. I've got like 50 kids. Now, my last point for the day is another doomy one. Jack, I have a clip for you. This is about what is called AI wetware, the dish brain. So basically they've put a bunch of neuron, brain neurons, in a petri dish. And that petri dish is now able to play the video game Doom. I'm not smart enough to explain it.

So let's listen to this clip, give it a go. You want to play battlefield later? Scientists already built a computer using brain cells, but they left one big question unanswered. Can it run Doom? In 2021, Cortical Labs introduced dish brain, where 800,000 neurons learned to play Pong. Fast forward to 2024 and they released the CL1, a fully deployable biocomputer that allegedly consume less power and learn faster than modern AI algorithms. But not content with locking the human mind in a metaphorical hell, researchers wanted to understand how it performed in a digital hellscape, as the Doomslayer. To achieve this, different electrodes representing parts of the game world, such as the position of walls or enemies, were translated into specific electrical signals, sent into particular regions of the neural network.

That stimulation became the neuron's sensory image. The neurons then responded by firing their own electrical signals that were recorded by the chip and translated into the software into game actions, like turning, moving forward or firing a weapon. The important part is the feedback system. When the neurons perform useful activity, like aiming and firing correctly, they receive a stimulation that is predictable and structured. But when they behave poorly, the system returns a noisy, chaotic signal. Because neurons try naturally to minimize unpredictable input, the cells gradually learn firing patterns that keep the signals stable. In just seven days, the neurons learn to play the game pretty effective.

or in scientific terms, they got good. The CL1 might not yet be able to dominate the competitive scene, but if we can teach neurons to master a 3D game, we're one step closer to using biological computers to control high precision robotic arms or manage complex tasks that are difficult for traditional logic-based chips. If you like science and have no mouth,

but you must scream, follow for more. Wow. Wait, so they put, I'm not following this, I'm not smart enough, so they put bits of people's brains. Yeah, brain neurons. How do you get them? Do you get them from a live person or from a dead body? I'm not sure how they harvest them, but it is...

Could you put mine in there? Well, we'd probably use other ones, to be honest. Yeah, no. Because they'd be like, the Petri dish wouldn't play Doom without nicotine cocaine. It keeps on trying to go to porn hub. It was trying to masturbate without a penis. The impulse was there. The neurons, we made it play Doom, it kept saying, cunt.

It simply refused to play the game. He wrote 50 jokes about why women are bitches. But that is crazy to know. You could put 200,000 neurons in a dish. And then just by rewarding and stimulating when it does the right thing, it gets a, I mean, listen, I don't know how to explain that. it gets stimulated in some way through. So does this mean that AI now will actually become not artificial, just intelligence?

Well, yeah, they're calling it AI wetware, which is where you mesh in the AI that has been, you know, made through the silicon chips, but instead it's with organic material, which is how you do get a full artificial, like, human brain that's computed by the AI. So then you would put that inside a robot, and then the robot will be able to actually be far more like a person. And then you're going to start. So my wife wouldn't watch the movie, the good robot or whatever, the wild robot. You know,

the Pixar film or whatever, the DreamWorks film, the robot that's in the wild, the wild robot? I thought that was Wally. No, Wally's a different thing. You know the movie, Jack.

So it was very, everyone's like movie the year, greatest movie you've ever seen. You've got to check it out. I think it got Oscar nominated for best animated film, right? My wife won't watch it because she goes, I don't want to feel for a robot. She's already put a flag in the ground.

But I've heard when she has sex with you, she usually fills around for the robot in a cupboard. Not while I'm in the room. Afterwards, I always go for a big shit after sex. To squirt all that come out of my ass. There's a third person. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, man.

Let's move on, man. Got a bit real there, man. You haven't lived here for ages. I haven't lived here for ages. That's true. You don't even get the pool cleaned anymore. So what do we do about that? Is that where we collect neurons out of my sparver?

That is, that's scary, isn't it? That's who you might be losing Zion on Call of Judy. All right, so. A tub of neurons. I don't mind if they can play video games and that type of stuff. Or if you look, I'm looking forward to the sex robots. Are you not looking forward to them? No.

I mean, listen, I don't want to walk into my stand. When they get really, 20 years, 20 years. I don't want to move into my stand-up routine here. But again, again, I'll, should I give you my stand-up joke? Sure. My favorite? I go, look, it's just another thing to charge.

My sex robot will always be flat. Then I'm going to be having sex with it in sleep mood. Sleep mode. That's what they're going to call an R2, me too. Yeah, pretty good. Very good. No, man, I'm looking at that now, but I think that's the military tech that most people would like. Because right now Donald Trump does not want to have to put ground troops on.

But imagine if you could just put autonomous soldiers like the Optimus Bot with a control, mothership brain, they can go off and fight the ground war for you. Tell me why. It feels like there is a lot of grand troops in this world, a lot of soldiers in this world, and it feels like they're not anywhere near as necessary as they used to be. Why do we train so many of them? And what are we expecting to do with them? Well, to defend your homeland, obviously, I mean, in America, God knows,

I mean, everyone's almost a borderline trained soldier, aren't they? But for going overseas, it's like right now, once you commit the troops, you're kind of there, aren't you? For years. I was thinking about my nephew the other day. I think about him every day. But I was thinking about him, you know, he dies in his helicopter accident, but you know, there's a chance he could have

fucking had to go to war now. Right? The helicopters coming in, but like, we haven't had helicopters come in. When do these next things come in? When do the, when do the tie pans? When do the Chinooks? When do all these things come in and stay? I mean, only when do the fight... When do the fight... But what do we buy? Why do we

Fighter jets then? When are the fighter jets coming in? They've been that, but we've been hammering with the fighter jets. I thought it was all drones. No, there has been some fighter. I've seen some fighter jets. Have you seen those videos that go viral? It's always hard to tell whether it's AI, though. I saw this video of a man who had an AK-47 on a flying...

I should show you, Jack right now. Jack's... Jack just... He had his gut hanging out of his t-shirt, and he just saw me, and he saw me... He looked like a disgrace, and he just pulled it down over into his tummy. He's in a happy relationship at the moment, so he's getting happy fat, right? Am I right?

You're happy fat? Yeah, you and the new girl are going, let's not go out, let's just stay in, fucking eat ice cream. I know, I've been there. Yeah. You get, they're leaving the house happy fat. Here we go. Good for you.

It's the biggest compliment you can give a woman. Why he's getting obese? Yes, it's the biggest compliment you can give him. It's just like, I'm happy with you and food. Well, my girlfriend fails to see that. She would still like me to not be grumpy. I keep showing her my gut. Apparently, roses are still the order of the day.

I've got, I've got a couple of movies coming up. I've got some acting jobs coming up. So I'm in the process of not eating, which is always fun. I'm sure that's lovely for your wife. No, she's avoiding me like the plague. Well, Jim, that's pretty much what is, what is, what is happening at this moment. There's also some talk about CIA hiding the cure for cancer.

Leave it for next week. Leave it for next week. It's Ivermectin. Anyway, we've got to talk about other things next week. Ladies and gentlemen, good luck with your mechanic. That was an easy. Look, I will apologize profusely if the mechanic was wrong, and I will say sorry. I said a lot of mean things about that.

Do you know where you don't need a mechanic on the US New York subway, baby? And that's why we love New York and it's the greatest city in the world. 11,400 and something dollars. How can you, how can you do it? How can you fucking do it? Good night, everybody. Good night, Australia.