I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 54 - Surprise! Pearl Harbor!

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

At this moment, Jim and Amos make fun of Trump's verbal tactics with the Japanese Prime Minister. They also figure out if Epstein's island was racist, why women use cotton balls, and the potential Bill Cosby Special. Jim's special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix! ADS: MOOD: Head to http://www.mood.com and find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. Don't forget to use promo code ATM when you check out to save 20% on your first order. MONARCH: Use code ATM at http://www.monarch.com for half off your first year. That’s 50% off at monarch dot com code ATM. BLUECHEW: Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code ATM. Visit http://www.BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠ FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠   Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠   Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

Achieve your financial goals for good with Monarch, the all-in-one tool that makes money management simple. Use the code ATM at Monarch.com for half off your first year. That's 50% off at monarch.com code ATM. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at Bluetooth. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month of Bluetooth gold with code ATM. That's promo code ATM. Visit bluechoo.com for more details and important safety information.

And we thank Blue Choo for sponsoring the podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to an edition of ATM with Amos Gill and Jim Jeffries. They have sponsors in the show that they'll mention later. How you doing Amos? Look, we're just going to start the show now. Before we do it, let's plug some gigs. What gigs are you got? Just first of all, great to have here with me, Jim.

once again. There's nothing like doing a podcast of the man who's a professional television host, who every time we start one of these is so at sea. Ah, yeah, we think there'll be shows on. And here we are. Look, I... You never caught the presenting bug, did you? I put in as much effort as I get paid, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, me. We just finished the podcast. Have you watched the snake, cunt? Go watch the snake. I dare you. I'm doing it. I'm doing it every day. We might need a new season of the snake because we'll be talking about the newest reality television show that was cancelled for the poor behavior of one of its stars.

Does this mean the snake could come back on a rival network? Probably not. But you should be making some calls. We also talk about... The snake had no controversy. None. The manosphere. We enter into that at the end as well as...

We talk about Trump hanging out with the Japanese. That went well. Smooth as butter. All that and more. on this week's at this moment, enjoy. But don't forget to see me in Dallas, Texas. Hasn't got the presenting bug this, cunt. You didn't even do the plugs.

I just don't have any shows. Come and see me in Dallas, Texas, March 27. That's this Friday. Austin, Texas, March 28th. That's this Saturday, then April 9th, Portland, April 10th, Portland, April 11th, Seattle. And then, you know, we've got one coming up. We've got a gig out in Tacoma with me and Amher.

with me and Amos, and we're also going to do a couple in Vancouver the nights before the Australian Paraguay game and the Australian USS game, the USA game. Could be by the end of the week. Hey, this is some content for you that I didn't put into the podcast, but you know what you're saying there about the game. I have, and this is not an exaggeration, four friends now who have contacted me and said,

do you want my tickets? I'm no longer going to America because they had World Cup tickets. that saved us money and a bit of time. Sadly, it's for the third game, the exact game that we didn't need the tickets for. But that's the sentiment of people coming to from overseas is don't want to go to America right now, not feeling it too expensive, worried about being blown up in terror attacks, also just not into the States. Anti-American at the moment. Go holiday in Canada, you bastards.

And I've got Canadian dates bringing that up that are going to be announced soon. All that and more of Vancouver on the 12th. Two shows. We've already sold out the 7pm. There's a 10pm show that is a third sold already, but we sold out the first one, added another one. Look, let's just start the show. This opening could be its own podcast.

Let's start. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the podcast. We've got a big one today. We've got some big topics that aren't war-related, that aren't even Trump-related. So let's smash you. into it. Have you had a good week, Amos?

I've had a great week. It's the end of my Adelaide Fringe. Yay! I'm flying home in about an hour, so I'm going to have to run and get on the plane. I'll tell you what, it's been a sad week here in this house, though. Our manager had his dog Ziggy put down on Friday. I know, and his father is not very well as well.

So I've laid off him this week. I'm not going to leave him be, you know, if you've got a parent passing away, and your dog dies in the same week. Let's give the cunt some a bit of space, I think. I had an issue with my gobo, which is my name projected onto the screen. And I was about to be like, Andrew, and then I thought, oh, these dogs died.

But can I tell you something that was really, I haven't experienced this before. Andrews quite liked on the street. He lives in my house. And he knows all the neighbors. Yeah, right. And all the local kids walk the dog. Yeah. So it was a brutal three days for me, because I'd be at home.

Andrew was out. I'm just getting knocks on the door a week. Hi, can I say goodbye to him. Oh, really? We had about 30 neighborhood kids who have walked the dog come by in tears just petting the dog. And then we had a next door neighbor, the Hein family came over. And they brought their dog over. And they said, oh, they just want to play with each other one last time.

And then for the next hour, I watched Andrew's dog root the shit out of this little schnauzer. Well, bucket list. This dog obviously knew that it was near, he was getting the needle. That Red Ripper came out. He was relentless for an hour. And I said, Ziggy, Ziggy, leave the dog alone. If he was down to FARC, why were we putting him down? Like, he seemed like he still had energy.

It was, listen, he used every last bit. And I imagine people are like that in the nursing home as well. He knew it was coming. And he found whatever he had left. Any final last wanks? And he just absolutely slammed this. I used to like that dog as well. Hold on.

I got to show you something quickly before. Check this out. All right. He's off. This is a dead air. If it was radio, this would be very important. That's Andrew's boat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the dog. And then they put Ziggy Stardust over there. I know that because Ziggy Dar Dust was assassinated. And that's why the Vietnam War started, if I'm correct. Is that right? Yeah, I believe so. I believe so. It was some guy who was...

Not the Gulf of Tonkin. Yeah, some guy who was stone, pole pot. He had a strip club. And he saw drugs. You've still been reading the comment section of the... No, no. I've let it be... I've got bigger fish to fry.

I've had an incident, a personal incident, where my credit score dropped violently low, right? And I started getting warnings on... Like America's credit rating right now with the straight-of-immers. Like most Americans, yeah, I felt very American. And my credits score dropped violently low. And so I had to go into one of those credit places, Experian or Equifax or any of those type of things.

And I went on there. What was your credit rating, by the way? And let's play a quick game before you tell the story. You guess mine, I guess yours. Oh, it was in the mid-750s and it dropped down to the low 500s. Oh, do you know what mine is? Guess. What do you think, Mike?

6-25. It's 680. Yeah, that's not bad. I've never, because I only just got a credit card. If you don't know, if you're not an American, you don't understand this. Yeah, yeah. If you don't use credit all the time, you're a non-entity. You're a non-person.

Yeah. I had to get a credit card when I came to America that I had to pay before I used it. So I said $2,000, I paid them $2,000 to have a $2,000 limit. I don't believe in credit. Never have. I'm terrified of it. But you can't get a rental car without a credit card. and that has resulted in me screaming at many people it hurts.

That's why the 2008 crash happened. Oh, you all lived beyond your means. Well, what happened was, it turned out that someone had opened in Atlanta, had opened an account that obviously wasn't me. And so I ring up the bank and they're like this, are you sure? And I'm like, I'm pretty sure. It's not me.

I bank in Atlanta. And they go, oh, okay, well, if it is true, we'll readjust. your credit thing, but we'll need a police report. Okay, you need a police report there. So I go down to the police station. I wait for about 40 minutes to an hour before they're talking to other people. I just sit back there and wait until it's my turn.

And then the guy, I go, I've got to make a police report. And it's about a bit of identity theft. And he goes, he goes, he goes, you just do that one online. Unless you have a suspect, do you have a suspect? and I said, I do not have a suspect. I think I know. But I don't have a suspect.

And he goes, and he looked at me like, why the fuck are you wasting my time? He goes, do that online. Okay, so an online police report. How many cops do you reckon would look at that? I reckon that. But also, of all the things that you want to do in person, it would be identity. I reckon that is just fucking busy work if ever I've fucking seen it, right? You go home, type this out.

So it's on a bit of official police thing. And then we send it to the bank. Now, the bit that I fucking hate about stolen identities and credit cards and stuff like that, when someone steals your credit card number or someone opens a credit card under your name, the banks go like this, oh, it's okay, we'll refund you the money. And I'm like, catch them. It's so, if someone robs you in the street or breaks into your house, they try to do everything they can to catch that person.

If someone robs you online with the thing, it's like, find out. where the Amazon packages are going and just go there. Not worth their time, mate. It's all Fiat currency anyway that they've created. They don't give a fuck to back. Or maybe go when, it wouldn't take Colombo. You just go like this. Where do they just use it at this gas station at that time?

Okay, get me the surveillance footage. No, no, that would take to, like this is, that is got to be the easiest cop work you could fucking do. How much did they run you for? They got a credit card that was for two, grand, they ran it up, and then I haven't been paying the payments for eight months. And it just has become apparent to me that I haven't been paying it. Oh, so you didn't have a card skim.

Someone's literally taken your identity and got their own card as you. Yeah. How the fuck did, I'm sorry, but like, I don't want to criticize your career right now, but I think after gun control, it would have been harder to rip you off. Okay. Are you saying that you've no longer recognizable to bank tell us? This is, this is the thing. because America has this system called social security numbers that I think are wonderful.

And so you ring up, you ring up the Equifax people and you're like, hey, someone has stolen my identity and done ABC and they open up a credit card and all that stuff. And they go, have you given anyone your social security number? And it's like, yes, every time someone asked for it. In fact, you asked for it five minutes earlier in this fucking phone call. At the very beginning of this phone call, you are, every time I leave a comedy club and they pay me 50 bucks,

I have to fill out a form where I fucking do it. You literally tell it to about five people a week. And then they're like this, keep it private, don't let anyone find out about your secret number that we all have to fucking give.

So how many times have you given yours out? Oh, I mean, like the same. And let me say, the level of comedy clubs I've performed in my life. I don't exactly trust all the staff that are working there. Usually a 21-year-old, I've just split a bag with, not of drugs. I just feel like I'm trying to get back into the country.

Yeah, just an old bag. They spit roast at an old lady. They had sex with an old lady. That's much better. Ameless of the front or at the back, them high-fiving, split a bag. And you wouldn't trust your bloody social security number with that prick, though, I tell you. No, I mean, that's because he's got my number and then he's also trying to rip off her pension. Yeah, yeah.

That's what the whole scheme was. So when we're high-fiving a Eiffel Tower over Dolores, yes. I hand it out to everybody. Who is glorious? Yeah, they're always, they're always fucking, have you got it? Have you put your last six digits, the last four digits, and I'm like, they go, whoever you've given it to recently? And I'm like, anyone who asked for it in a business sense, I have, yeah.

Jack, Jack could fucking steal my identity all day. he could steal my house Jack Jack could do this you could do real damage but uh I mean he could also when he wears that cowboy hat and sing so beautifully

he could steal your wife too don't forget that yeah don't forget that and the hearts and minds of children across this nation but uh yeah so that's been what I'm dealing with and you know what they take

more from you than the 2000 bucks they take your fucking time oh god now I got to go do this I got to fill out this thing I've got to do that thing. Otherwise, isn't it enough if I ring you up and go, here's my social security number,

I haven't opened this bank account that you just believe me? You believe the cunt that just went, I'm this person, here's my social security number. You believe them. Why don't you do it the other way around? Mission Lane fucking TAB Bank of fucking Atlanta. You go on the shit list with fucking Russell Westbrook, Dodge. Imagine like some guy from Atlanta that's like,

Yeah, good a mate. I want a credit card. Yeah. Cunt. No guns. Woohoo. I'm going to get this credit card to buy no guns. That's for sure, mates.

I'm off to go and get prostitutes in Vegas, buddy. Don't tell everyone my real identity. You said this in front of a crowd for the NRL, mate. Yeah, but it didn't. mate, the news the war was on. So that's what I've been up to. How's your week been? No, I mean, other than putting down the dog.

But it just reminded me... You didn't have to do it yourself. You weren't like that woman who was the head of national security. It was sad, though. I went off and I had to go and do some... I had some doctor appointments, because when I'm back in Australia, I get absolutely fingered sideways by any doctor and dentist I can get. I just make sure I get...

I've got toenail cream, hemorrhoid cream. I've got... I've got I've got okay I went to the doctor this week I've been having problems with my voice My voice has been running out on me right And I assume because I had nodules Because I had nodules before And I just said well I've got nodules

Right So I go into the doctor My doctor is this older bloke Who who I think has fixed a lot of singers in the 90s You know he's got a lot of famous singers On the wall here in Hollywood Shubs a bloody camera up your nose Down your throat

Which is a delight you might as well be on a clockwork orange it's it's as painful and experiences you can do so shuff the camera up looks at it uh my i can see it on the camera my my nodules are red like bright red they're meant to be flesh colored like my actual my vocal cords are bright red and uh so the doctor says this is this is a winner he says uh do you uh because i always thought now that i don't smoke and now that i don't drink my voice should be in better better condition addition. And he's like, do you eat like copious amounts of food right before you go to sleep? Now, I'm a person who enjoys an edible. So he's found my mistress there, right? I'm like, yes,

yes, that is something that I enjoy doing. Piggery is my, is my vice of choice. And I had just come back the night before from going to Fluffy's party from him and Joe Coy doing so far. Oh, you went to that, did you? I'll tell you, I didn't go to the gig, but I went to Fluffy's house for the party. I tell you what, if you want to go to a party and get high, fucking fluffy, Gabriel LaGlacius puts on a hell of a show. There was a hamburger stand. There was a taco stand. There was a bloke making churros.

There was a bloke dipping ice creams. It was as much more charter as a man could drink. So eating like a pig can fuck up your voice. Okay. So what happens is I'm getting acid reflux in my sleep, right? And it's filling up in my vocal cords and just frying my vocal cords, just the acid coming up from my stomach. So I've been given a drug to settle that down.

But here's the thing I said, I said, well, I said, and I'll make sure I drink more water. This is the first time I've ever heard this from a doctor. You should drink less water. And he goes, don't drink water. He goes, don't drink water an hour before you go to bed because it's splashing around in your stomach. And this is what's causing it to all come up. He goes, don't eat 90 minutes before you go to bed and don't drink water 60 minutes before you go to bed because of your acid reflux. So now I'm going to like bed thirsty.

Thirsty and hungry. I've never heard a doctor go drink less water. That's the order of the day. You've been drinking too much water. Think about taking cigarettes back up. Then they'll talk about your haemorrhoids and say, oh, you're too dry. You're constipated. You need more water.

So it's all complete. There's only tradeoffs in life. There's no solution. With the hemorrhoids, they're always like this. I eat more fiber, eat metamuse, a type of stuff. If you could see how many times I squirt out a shit. shit. You wouldn't say they're too firm. You wouldn't go, oh, he's pushing too hard, this fella. I was, I was on, I was on radio on Australia today, actually. And this is why I'm wearing my

McDonald's, uh, pajama pants, uh, slightly followed through on a fart during a radio interview. So, for fuck sake. I'm a fucking mess. I'm a mess. I'm trying to position us to take over some Australia radio show and you're shitting yourself on the way. I am. Do you know I've been, I've been touted as one of the people to take over from Kyle and Jackie O. I just sit by the phone like, today's the day. You don't have to give me what Kyle and Jackie O are owning. I'll take half of their combined income. I'll take 10 million a year.

If they were getting 20, I'll take 10. I'm good like that. I'm just generous sort of fellow. Total savings. But then they'll have that, like, you know what happened to them in the end was there was this group called the MFW, the mad fucking witches who boycotted all of their sponsors. That's what sort of started to bring them down and kill them. their profitability.

Oh, it's, so it's a bunch of women who decided that they were misogynistic, but it was a man and a woman. And Jackie O is a girly girl. Like, what did they get upset with her for? So, well, I don't know, but I'll tell you what, if these people find out about us, we might get hit where it hurts right in the blue chew market. That's the benefit of having blue chew. Our target demographic will not be warned off by the mad fucking witches.

These are guys who strike. to get erections with women. I reckon. Yeah, somewhere, there was one of the radio, they go, Generation Z is not having sex. Do you know what all that's about? I'm like, it's good. The porn's too good.

You starve them from porn. Get rid of it. Because they got rid of porn hub in Australia. Everyone's losing their fucking mind. It might actually fix a couple of young men. Well, if you go on it now, all that's on there is clean content on porn hub. So if you put a VPN and search Australian porn hub,

it's just podcast interviews with the girls. really it's just yeah it's just turned to a podcast app so i got into the job like years ago i'm touring australia in july how do i watch porn do the other sites work or what's going to happen who's our VPN sponsor do we have one jack let's throw one out there for free express VPN best in the business mate mate since the stolen credit card i have every single VPN my phone is the most secure thing in my life you know you could get into my arshole easier than getting into my phone. Now, let's move into some news stories. Don't try either. All I wanted to say about the dog thing was that, God, it's interesting living in a neighborhood where you know people, many benefits,

but also I've realized how I used to not knowing anyone I am. Like, I went out to a restaurant the other night to say goodbye to some family members. And in Adelaide, I had about eight people walk by that you stop and sit down. And then I was in Remark, our small country town. You go to the shops, you run into like 30 people and you've got to do small talk over and over and over and over and I there's something nice about having a community but there is also the inverse of that which is fuck me the social battery gets burnt out pretty quick yeah I know both my neighbors but that's we don't socialize but we're you know look I had the house that I owned before this one I had the neighbors from hell the one in Mount Olympus I had a neighbor I had a woman who lived up there who would call

the cops on you if you were going a bit over the speed limit driving past the house. You know, she was that type of a person. She was literally Mrs. Cravitt. She was peering over your fence and that type of stuff. So, you know, there's a happy medium. I'll tell you what was funny about this, though. So I get a knock on the door for people that say goodbye to the dog. Yeah.

Now, I don't know them that well. They must be disappointed when you answered. They were like, where's the older man with the gray hair who's really fun? Well, this is what they said next door. I'm talking to them in the doorway. You know where you're doing this in the doorway? Hand in the doorway. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, chatting about this year.

Still in the States. Yeah, good to see you. And they're like, eventually after about five minutes, they go, can we come in? Andrew lets us in. Like, he normally lets us in. So I go, oh, yeah, okay. So we came and sat around the kitchen table. And I remember thinking, fuck me.

I've lived here for years. And they're basically saying to me, you rude little shit. You've never invited us in for a chat or a glass of wine. Well, have you ever been into their house? I looked over their fence at their garden. That's about the expense of it. Exactly. See, they're not offering you the same thing.

Have they ever invited you over to the house? Yeah, but they're older, aren't they? You know, Andrew's their, Andrew's their cup of tea. He's got plenty of wine here. I couldn't invite them over and be like, you want a Coke Zero and a bag of almonds? There was a woman who lived over the road for me, Mrs. Baxter, and she was like, when I was born, she was like, fucking 80. And then by the time she was 90, I remember.

She was just the old woman who walked a dog up and down the street. And then you saw her do that. That's all she did, right? But she was old. Maybe she was 50. I don't know. She looked very old to me, right? Anyway, one time my parents needed a babysitter urgently.

There was an emergency. My mother and father had to go somewhere and they needed to babysit. And I went over to Mrs. Baxter's house and it was everything you could fucking dream, man. The woman had like, do you want to see an old steering? wheel from a World War II plane? Yep. You want to see a Hitler youth knife? Yeah, yeah, it was just filled with relics and stuff.

Maybe you can play with that. That's a fake Hitler moustache. We wore them for fun. Here's an artillery shell from Gallipoli. It hasn't gone off, so don't be gentle with it. Anyway, I go back home this last trip and I go, oh, look at what they've bashed down Mrs. Baxter's house, right? You know, someone's put a new house there in the time.

and dad was like this, oh, mate, she died 30 years ago. You think? She was 80 when I was a kid. This is the other thing. Is Jack there? Yes. Can Jack just surprise us quickly?

Just show us your face quickly, Jake. Show us your face, Jake. Oh, there it is. It's a good angle, good angle. You should always try to look like that. That? I hope that's what's on your Tinder profile. You just sneak.

That's a Japanese surprise. And there it is again. And the reason I bring up Japanese surprise. He's like a Muppet. You don't do the rest of the body. It's just a little bit just comes in. Jack, I brought you into that because Donald Trump was speaking about your ancestry the other day. And I thought we could transition.

So that people don't know, Jack is a quarter Japanese. That's why I only showed up a quarter of the screen in that surprise. Yeah, he's a quarter Japanese. Donald Trump, we got the clip. I don't think we have the audio. I don't think we need the clip. Let's just act it out. Let's just act it out.

Oh, you don't know this news story. It's brilliant. It's everything you want and more. It's Donald Trump sitting next to the Japanese prime minister or president. They presidents or prime ministers in Japan? I think it's prime minister. Prime minister. She's the new one because he was very close with Shinszo A.

Do you remember that? They were best friends and Shinso was killed. And there's this new right-wing woman. And she's sitting there and she's just like, Like this. And then one of the reporters asked, what do they ask, Gamos? Well, I'm going to do the voice. They basically say, Mr. Trump.

Yeah, they go, Mr. Trump? Donald, we were not told that you would attack Iran. Would your allies, should you have told us, because the Strait of Hamoos and energy costs will be so high. Right. Now, you switch to Donald Trump, and I will be the Japanese. He's prime minister. Okay.

Right. Well, surprise, right? Surprise, right? We can't tell you everything we're doing. And when it comes to surprises, Japan, you know about surprise. Remember Pearl Harbor? You didn't exactly call us and say, we're going to be bombing you. Had to surprise attack.

You guys are great with the surprises. Yeah. He said, no, but what Amos missed out is there was a pause. He goes, he goes, I can't do the voice, he goes, he goes, he goes, ah, but you Japanese people, you know about surprises, right? And I was thinking Nagasaki Hiroshima. And we all think he's talking about the atomic bomb, right? Us surprising them.

And I'm like, he didn't just bring up the nuclear bomb, did he? That's the best part of it, Jim, is in the end, I think he went there. And I think Pearl Harbor was the save. That was the save. Pearl Harbor, he was fumbling the ball. And even by Donald Trump standards, he's like, I shouldn't really bring up. I shouldn't really bring up the Hiroshima bomb. I should keep that to myself, because that was surprising.

And then he's like this. He goes, you know about surprises? And then the lady's like, are you going to fucking bring out the bomb? He just looks at him. And he goes, Pearl Harbor, that's what you did. You did Pearl Harbor. Like this is like, and it's like, also, even with Pearl Harbor, it's like when you're in a relationship and you fuck up years ago, 10 years ago, you've done some mistake five years ago, two years ago you've done some mistake.

And then every fight it's brought up. And you're like, I know I was at fault in that situation. But we can't move forward if you don't drop this, right? Because we've been allies for 80 years with a bit less, but 80 years with the Japanese, right? He was just letting him know that the art of surprise is important. And you are so right, that pause where he said surprise, he could have gone so many avenues. He went with Pearl Harbor. He could have also been like, you know.

You know surprises that little Italian plumber. He comes up out of a pipe, right? He surprises you. You guys love the surprise. Bowser. Wow. Bad guy. He's a really, he surprises when he took Peach.

This is a really bad guy, Bowser, and we had to take out Bowser. I think Jack is actually watching it now. It's worth just watching Jack's face. Here we go Keep listening Yeah we got to You just got to put this out Because this is

Too much You know When we go in And we didn't tell anybody about it Because we wanted Surprise Who knows better about surprise In Japan

Okay Why didn't you tell me About Pearl Harbor Okay Right Right Is to be Do you believe in surprise

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And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month of Bluetooth gold with Code ATM. That's promo code ATM. Visit Bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Choo for sponsoring this podcast. Who knows more about, who knows more about surprises than Japan? When was, by the way, when was Donald Trump born? I tell you why didn't you, where he goes, why didn't you tell me?

Well, unfortunately, Donald Trump was born in 1946. Yeah, he missed it. But here's, here's, here's. Here's the thing. If you were on stage dealing with. dealing with a Japanese heckler, it would be hard to get away with that routine. Well,

people said he bombed. I thought he did pretty well in that room to get even. It would be pretty difficult to get away with it just like this. You surprises? Remember, Pearl? Actually, you could get away with it. It wouldn't be that hard. But there'd be people who would be very upset with you.

I've been gigging the last week with a couple of Japanese comedians. There's a huge surge of Japanese comedians. comics that are coming over to Australia because my friend Takashi Wakasugi has got really famous over here, right? So a bunch of Japanese people have seen this as the promised land. And you know what's really funny about the Japanese? A lot of them don't know the story of World World War II, right? They've sort of just brushed past it. They're like, yeah, there's bad stuff happened. And they don't really get taught World War II history in any way. And have I ever told you about the time I had Takashi at my house and I showed him World War II documentaries?

Yes. I brought this guy, I brought this guy Waka over. And I'm watching World War II in color at the time. It was when they'd just come out. Yeah, one of the best documentaries ever. I just, you know, like any straight white man, that's how I'll be spending my time, if left alone. That's why men, me and your age can still get erections. So I'm watching this. And my brother goes, oh, because my brother was living in us at the time.

He goes, what are you doing? He goes, you're going to make, you're going to make Waka watch fucking Nagasaki, you're sicko? It's a bit, it's a bit off. And he goes, no, please. leave. I never see this. And so we watched the campaign in the Pacific. And it was like a two episodes special. It's like three hours. I fall asleep in the afternoon and it's on. I wake up to Waka. He's pushing my body like this. He goes, Emor, sir, please, you have more over this, a documentary. I said, I can find you some. He goes, I never see this. He goes, Japan, we were so brave.

Japanese soldier was so strong, so powerful. One small island defeat everybody. We fly plane into ship because the Japanese man believes so much in his country. And I went, oh, no, I've radicalized it. He's down for it. His next tour is called Kamikaze. No, he started doing all these tours about, he started putting all this material in his show about the rising sun and how Japanese people since the samurai.

You know, I just got a douche chill. I got a memory from when I was 16. So I worked in a butcher's as a meat packer when I was 16. And, you know, paid a bit more than working the tills at Woolworth. You got paid an extra dollar because you use the bandsaw. That's when they let 16-year-olds use bandsaws to cut up meat. Anyway, there was a lady. I mostly just wrapped plastic, styrofoam trays, put sausages on them,

wrap the plastic around and put them on a heating pad. So they're all thing and then put them out on the shelf. And I used to work with a Japanese lady called Lil. And she was a very nice lady. And she knew the codes for every different bit of meat to put in the machine to get the thing. Like she was sort of my boss, right? Yeah. Hard working older lady.

And all we did was talk about rugby league every day. Me and the Butchers back there, we talked about, you know, what game had happened that weekend, what games were about to happen on Sunday. I always worked the Saturday shift, how the Friday night game went. and then they're all like this what team do you go for little what team do you go for and everyone used to just talk just just dirty boys around her and almost ignored her you know what I mean so they go what team do you go for little and she goes I don't don't fly and I went she goes for the Hiroshima bombers right 16 thought I was saying something funny and she goes ah my family and then as soon fucking

her dad died there and oh my god i'm surprised you didn't jump on the bands or like johnny cash's brother i i haven't thought about that in in 30 years oh my god and just you telling that i just that just flooded back into my head 16 thinking i've got a good line here the nagasaki nix the horosha bombers that's what my family son is from here is here yeah i can tell by the deformalities that you've got. That's why he looks like a Muppet. He's got nothing below the waist. He's just like bits of fabric, just dangling down below the waist.

So that was our commander in chief doing some diplomacy with the Japanese. So I feel for Donald Trump, he was just trying to have a go there. And look, out of all the stupid things he said, I don't think I've gotten more entertainment out of it than that one. That one was a real winner. And especially since she's like a right-wing sycophant politician of his, right? She loves him. I believe they're very close.

Yes. But Japan, very reliant. And obviously right now, very scared because we're moving our weapons systems out of Southeast Asia to protect our assets there in the Middle East. So they're thinking, oh-oh. He said there was going to be a drone attack in California. I'm not super excited about that. You know what I mean?

Like, that's going to ruin a day, isn't it? I don't know. I feel like that's just trying to get support from the public. public to go boots on the ground, which supposedly we will be doing. Although I'm looking live right now and Trump says that, and I'm going to quote here off the news, here we go, it says, I don't want to say this, but I have to. Pete didn't want the war to be settled, as in Pete Hegseth, but Donald is saying that he has made a deal, or he's going over a 15 point deal with Iran right now and that here's the

Quote, they gave us a present and the present arrived today. It was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I haven't opened it up yet. I'm not going to tell you what the present is. I hope there's not white powder in there. It's anthrax. Oh no. Don Jr.

Don Jr. don't sniff the anthrax. I know you think it's a little bit of fun, right? Anthrax. Is that a good or bad porn name for a girl? Anthrax is a great drag name. Yeah, it's a great drag name. Does that exist? Anthrax, the drag name?

Queen? Yeah, and Thrax the Drake Queen. Honestly, if it's not, I'm coming to the fringe next year. She's the whole package. Yeah, there is one. There is. There is one, of course. She was Girl of the Year in 2019.

Oh, God. There's no original thoughts left. Go use no cane. You just advertise it here. So he's saying that they're going to try. Did you see Trumpy in Memphis this last night, yesterday? He's in Memphis and he's cleaning up Memphis because Memphis has notoriously been

a dangerous place. You can't walk the streets down the main streets. People, crime rate is fucking berserk in Memphis. Dangerous city, everyone says. I don't hear good things. Yeah, I don't hear good things. And they reckon they're going to go in there like Giuliani did with New York.

People forget that Giuliani back in the day when he cleaned up New York was the toast of the town. Everyone loved him. And it was until he sort of went with Trump a lot more and he lost everything because he fucking went with Trump. He lost his watches and all sorts of shit. But,

well, I mean, I lost his dignity that day that his hair tie ran at the four seasons garden centre. That could happen to any man. That could happen to any man. I'm not going to bloody judge a man

for putting flakes in his hair and sweating a little bit. That's a common mistake. Anyway, so if someone said Joseph Stalin had thin hair, you'd be like, no, fuck you, cunt. We're all struggling.

Mate, mate, name me a world. leader that had a comb over. Oh, Gorbitroff. Yeah, and he did it with a birth mark. Anyway, so, so, Trump's on stage and it's just a whole lot of, it's him and literally

I would say 12 other blokes sitting in a table on a U stage like that. And each one of them just went around the table just sucking his dick, just going, first of all, before I say anything, Mr. Trump, I would like, President Trump, I'd like to thank you for your strong leadership

and for your guidance and and your God-given ability to make deals that are actually changing lives in this. Well, you have saved lives, Mr. Trump. Oh, thank you. It's the court of the czar. Yeah. I don't, did other presidents ever do that? Just like, I'm sure they did in private, but on camera.

Well, I don't think other presidents were quite as spectacular and smart, and he's the smartest president. And so that's what you're going to get. It is a literal, it is a wank fest. It is a Bukakis. of your fucking compliments, all just standing around him. I mean, people were very effusive to Barack. I do remember that. Okay, here we go.

So, fuel is higher. Groceries are higher. Everything's fucking higher. All we used to hear was every time something went up, what did we hear? Thanks, Obama. Where's the thank Trump? Where's the little catchphrase that calls this guy a cunt in a couple of words? I've been seeing a lot of people scratching off the Donald Trump stickers from their trucks.

that's like a little bit of a trend that's going on yeah like those you know those stickers which is donald trump doing this and it says you missed yeah yeah those ones are that people scratching they're moving them over to their teslers hey listen on my own front i don't have a big net worth and i i like to invest i i'm down 65% in my portfolio put it this way everything i did coming over here to earn money in the Australian fringes i'm more than doubled down from whatever I can make. It will bounce back, but my money guys hilarious because for the last 10 years, he's been ringing me up and he opens with his sentence.

We're in unprecedented times. That's his big catchphrase. We're in unprecedented times. And he rang me up the other day to talk about the money and all the finances going down the stock market. And I said, mate, these are preceded times. So we need to be able to work within this environment of what's going. Well, there's definitely opportunities there.

If you're a young person, I think we're probably going to have a housing crash of some variety. So the youth would be very excited about the idea that we might be able to find an entry. Houses haven't gone up in L.A. in the last five years. They haven't. People will say they have. But there's too many people moving away.

The taxes are too high. Another story that I wanted to bring up with you quickly was I'm obviously flying in today. Well, I mean, 15 hours. I've got, by the way, I've got a direct flight from Adelaide to San Francisco. and I think there's about 19 of us on the plane and we're talking to a flight attendant who said, yeah, this route probably isn't going to last. No one seems to be going to the States.

Everyone I talk to is like, oh my God, you're going back over there right now. You're going to get blown up. There's bloody going to be terror attacks. What are you doing going to New York City? You're mad. And then they're also like, did you see the crash at LaGuardia airport? How come America can't do bloody air traffic control?

There seems to be a problem every fucking couple of weeks. That would have been a person of, color who was a dwarf, let's be honest. You can't. There's a dwarf on a CB radio, no doubt about it. Yeah, no, you can't be blaming Trump for that. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, uh, multi-racial dwarf. Oh, yeah, we, we have to recap because back when, uh, the helicopter, the army helicopter

hit the, uh, the, uh, the plane, uh, Trump said it was because there was, uh, because the, basically D-I dwarfs was, was, was, yeah, he, he said they're letting dwarfs to air traffic control. Trying to get the buckles up here like this. Multiculturalism. We're letting multicultural dwarfs do air traffic control. We all know they can't do it. It's something we know they can't do.

Things they can do are not reached tall counters and magic. Well, obviously chaos in the airports, Jim, and this is a story I've got to hit before we move on. There was the horrible LaGuardia crash. I mean, God, imagine being the air traffic controller that sent that. But the person who did send that car. across. That's tragic. Then there's the TSA lines.

They're saying three, four hours in all the airports. The TSA lines has been a little bit of a thing because Trump keeps on blaming the Democrats for the TSA lines saying that it's because they're shut down half the government, etc, etc. But now Delta. You see what Delta did today? Delta's taken away the benefits from politicians. Is this right?

Yeah, yeah. Politicians don't get TSA precheck anymore. all the politicians don't get it. They have to line up like the rest of us. They've taken it off the loyalty plan. Now, as someone who's a million mile at Delta, thank you. Those politicians were really holding the line up. That was what was making the big difference.

Yes, I can't tell you the amount of times I'm currently getting cut in front of by Chuck Schumer when I'm in Newark. Yeah, can we also cut off privileges from anyone who has metal in their body? They seem to be holding up the line. The last one I was going to say is the TSA line's so bad. the workers not getting paid, Elon Musk has now put forward, he is going to pay their salaries, which is $155 million a week for the 65,000 TSA workers. Elon Musk has said, I would like to offer to pay the salaries of TSA personnel during this funding impasse that negatively affects the lives of so many Americans at airports throughout the country.

Well, I tell you what, I tell you what, if he does that, 155 million he will be paid. If he does that and put your money with your mouth there, that's a good way to spend. your money. That's as good as any charity. You're helping up people who need cash in a very bad economy. And also, let's be honest, you're going to make a few fans there. Hey, how many fucking TSA pre-check people?

If you walk through TSA pre-check now and go, oh, fucking hell, that bloody Elon Musk is a cunt. You don't think you're going to get strip searched all day? Wouldn't you say, 155 million a week is basically him going, forget about that Roman salute, all right? Yeah.

I got you through the airport quick. This is one thing about us who do the Roman salutes. We are efficient. You call it a Roman salute. I call it a Nazi salute. You call it a Roman? That's what he. Oh, he called it Roman.

All right, that's good. The Roman salute. Yeah, no, you don't have to do it again. Don't do it again. Just doing a little bit of Julius Caesar. That's all? A little bit of Julius Caesar salad, mate. Nobody do that.

By the way, we found the thumbnail for the clip. That'll be used against me. I'm sure that won't come back to haunt me in any way, shape or form. Yeah, so that's happening. And then the one that I wanted to get into, which is a little bit lighter news, because we could keep talking about the Iran War, but it unfolds so quickly. And then our podcast comes out late.

Hopefully we're going to get a ceasefire and get the hell out of there. Whatever it takes for Donald Trump to feel like he had a success, let him have the wind so he don't have to have thousands of men trying to invade the straight of women. It's not World War II, mate. Women go as well. There's plenty of female soldiers. Look at me.

Look at me. Wow. You want women to die. I've entertained female soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, man. I've been out there. I've seen it. They're hardworking women in the military. Don't worry about that.

So the one I wanted to bring up to you was, and I'm surprised you haven't raised it yet, is I know you're a fan of the Bachelor franchises. You've admitted this publicly. The Bachelorette has been cancelled. Me and the wife are in mourning, right? We are in proper, like, it was meant to be coming out on Sunday. last Sunday. So they get this bachelor,

the lady, and she's from Mormon wives or Mormon, whatever, some, everywhere is Mormon. Secret lives of Mormon wives. Isn't that right, Anika?

Right. So she's known to be a bit of a fiery. I dated a girl years ago that she would, whenever she came home drunk, she was a plate thrower, right? She would go for plates. Greek woman.

Yeah, you'd be fucking dodging them left right and center. Right. So this woman, she's meant to be, she's meant to be the Bachelorette she's meant to be on the show

the show's completely filmed at this moment she was meant to be whoever proposed to her she's engaged to they're meant to be in hiding so that the world can't see who she's engaged to they're meant to just be in a hotel room fucking all day right falling in love and all that type of stuff

right so the show's being cancelled because there's a domestic abuse not charged the video is very clear what happened She's there beating up the father of her children. She throws a stool and it almost hits her baby. I think it does hit the baby, but not in the head, obviously, because the baby keeps crying. It doesn't die.

Anyway, so. Jack, you can pull up that video and show if you like while Jim's talking. The real tragedy is that the show's not going to air. And I feel sorry for the 30 blokes who showed up thinking, I'm going to get some pussy off this. I'm going to go on the Bachelorette and I'm going to be charming and then I'm going to have my Instagram's going to grow and then I'm going to have... Well, they're all doing videos.

All the people that were on the show who thought this was their chance at fame doing these massive campaign videos like, you don't know how much you guys were to fall in love with me. This is a devastating time for me to be cast in a show. Really? Yeah, yeah. Well, this is the thing. There was a season of the Bachelorette, right? where the girl just fall in love with a bloke on the first day, and she ran away with him like five days into the experiment, right?

So she's already like, that's my guy, I've picked him. They lasted five minutes, right? They lasted five minutes. And she was meant to be the oldest bachelorette. She was 36 or something. It was retirement-age bachelorette. Anyway, so that woman, she said, I've already fallen in love. And they're like, but we have to do a full season.

And you've got to go to Spain and ride on horseback and stuff like that. She goes, no, I've already fallen in love with this one. And so she just left with the, with the, with the, with the, with the, with the, with the, and then so there was like 20 guys. It was during COVID, there was 20 guys still at the hotel just like this. So she's gone and they're like, don't worry about it. We'll bring in another one. And they brought in just another girl.

They went from a blonde girl, uh, skinny blonde girl to a black girl with, with nice tits. And the guys were just like, all right, I'm in. There was one bloke who was like, I really came on the show because I fancied that other girl, right? But the rest of them were just like, I'll go for heaven. Hey, let me tell you, that's when a white, blonde chick is replaced with a black girl, you don't want to be the one guy that's like this? No, not for me.

She's a good-looking girl, Tasha. So anyway, so. Jim, one second. Let me get you on this on The Bachelor. But I just want to finish up my thought. Okay. So they brought in a girl, a different girl. just let these guys have another go, just with the new girl.

Because right now they're scrambling at ABC, they're going, all right, we've lost all this property, right? Because this girl bloody threw a thing. The problem is that I have with what's gone on is now moving forward, Bachelor and Bacheloretts, they're going to always choose a safe option just in case this happens again, because they would have lost tens of millions of dollars on the season. I think it's $70 million. And that's not included. I drove down Sunset Boulevard

watching a billboard being taken down. Yes. There's a $70 million on the gamble of the Bachelorette star Taylor Frankie Paul disappears. Now this is what I wanted to talk to. Is this one of the first times ever that we've seen a woman cancelled for domestic violence

in the TV sphere? I believe so. I can't think of another time. But there's probably been someone who has been taken off a TV program, like a real housewives type of program for throwing a table or slapping someone or something like that. And then Jack just brought up Amber Hurd, who, uh, who, uh, who, uh, who, uh, who, uh,

who, I believe moved to Spain or some shit and is living her best life. Yeah, she moved to a country where you're allowed to be a particularly spicy Latina. Yeah, that's like, yeah, what about it? Yeah. She's a passionate woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These American men are pussies.

She has emotions. Yeah. So I'm looking at the video. And what's crazy about it is ABC, I mean, they know this woman. They own the show, the Mormon wives. They've done episodes on that show about her arrest with her husband. So they knew this was there on the deep dive. They had done TV about how she'd been arrested and she was fiery and had these fights with her husband.

Okay. She pleaded guilty about it. It's aggravated assault. It's not like it was hidden. And they signed off on it anyway. Yeah. Now, would there be a world where I would be running for the bachelor, or not me, but a handsome person?

Right. And I've thrown a chair at my wife, and it nearly hits my kids. You wouldn't be running for the bachelor then, would you? Yeah, but let's say that I'm like, you know, pick a person. I know, I know, no. Look, if the shoe was on the other foot, if there was a man who was done for domestic violence,

they never would have put them on the show to begin with. Of course, that's the case. And then let's go to the next level. if we were to poll men, okay, how many men do you think would go, it's unacceptable that she's there? Well, on the show, do you think people would say it's acceptable that she's there?

Well, because the information was already out there. Her having thrown a chair at her husband before. I think, no, I think it sets a bad precedent if she is there. They shouldn't have picked it to begin with. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I can't, I don't imagine many men. I want to see this season of The Bachelorette more than anything. And I'm trying to think of, do I know someone who has a...

Is there someone who's going to leak it? Please, leak it on YouTube. Like, who's it going to hurt? Just, there must be some way to do it. Like, I know that Netflix has a Bill Cosby special that no one's ever seen. I want to see it. I know he's a terrible person, but... Are you telling me that won't settle at an auction in the future?

It's a digital file. It's a digital file. The hidden Cosby tape at an auction in like, let's say 40 years when this is all really washed over. Right. Do you think in 40 years people will give a shit about Bill Cosby? There's only a handful of humans throughout time that are remembered 40 years after their death. Okay, right now, if they said we're auctioning off the Bill Cosby tape and it's all going to a charity that helps women who have been, had domestic violence. Right, right.

There's something, the drinks are on me. Whatever. Yeah. How much do you think that would go for? There'd have to be a big collector out there. I want to say, I know that Bill Cosby, when Bill Cosby got out of prison, the first thing he did, I was at Flappers that night doing a podcast, right? And the Flappers was like, you won't believe this. We just had Bill Cosby ring us up and he'd been out of prison for less than 24 hours.

It's on the pay phone. And then I ring up one of my agents and he's like. He rang me up, right? We were in the same agency for a while, right? And so Bill Cosby, as soon as he got out of prison, he rang up every single fucking comedy club in Los Angeles and went, I've written some new jokes. I've got a new routine about it making a shiv out of a bar of soap and a toothbrush.

And did he get up anywhere? No one would put him up, but I want to see his prison set. Here's how not to be raped. There must be, he's touring, isn't he? No, he's not doing anything. No one put him on stage. He could go to like Speaker's Corner. He could go to the RNC.

They'd have him on. There's place to go. If Cosby isn't on the Epstein Island list, I am going to say it right now. the Epstein Island was fucking racist because Cosby would have taken that fucking offer in a heartbeat. That is definitive that the Epstein people

because who black has been there, right? Well no, that was the Diddy was the, did the black parties? Yeah, but did he also let white people come? You can say what you want, but Ashton Cutscher was still going. You're making me Google it. And he liked to get Simon rubber on his nipples.

The island racist. Yeah, yeah. Let's get down to the bare taxes here. Was Epstein Island racist? Recent developments in 26, including a series of new emails from the Epstein files, indicate that Jeffrey Epstein and his network were involved in racist ideology, with evidence showing he used racial slurs and discussed white supremacist ideas. None of the girls seemed to have...

None of the girls were black either, were they? Listen to this. Documents from early 26 revealed an email. from Epstein using an offensive archaic racial slur. Never heard of this. You ready for it? Moon Crickets. No, I never heard of moon crickets.

He called them Moon Crickets. Moon Cricket sounds like a nickname you'd give your wife. Come here, moon cricket. Come here, moon cricket. Come here to sit on my lap. You're all right, you. So, listen, and now I'll Google, was there a black guy? Was there a black man on Epstein Island?

Well, just, it was a disabled, man, so there is. Because Bill Cosby was the most accepted black person in the wife. Oh, no, what are we talking about? Chris Tucker. Come on. This is dumb. Chris Tucker. Why not Cosby?

Chris Tucker. Chris Tucker went there to be fucked. He has a big tax bill. I don't know much about Chris Tucker, but I know he can't handle money. That's what I've been told throughout the comedy traps. Well, hopefully the Melania movie has succeeded because if it does succeed, it's the way back for the director so they can make rush hour for. And I need Chris back.

Chris, Chris, I'm a favorite actor as a kid. I knew Brett Ratner because when I told the Mariah Carey story, I always used to say that it was over at Mariah Carey's house, but it was actually at Brett Ratner's house. And I just didn't. It was just a point in the story that I thought wasn't worth mentioning. And then he later on got me too, but it was Brett Ratner who was all about you couldn't wear your shoes in his house. That was why I had to walk across the garden in my socks to go entertain people at Brett Ratner's house. But he was working with Packer back in the day, Rat Pack Productions. Yeah, well, apparently this millennia movie is tied to, let's see how that goes,

and we'll soft launch Brett back into the industry so he can do Rush Hour 4. He was a good, he made good comedies. I don't know what he was Me Too for. Here we go. Here we go. Moon cricket. Derived from the antebellum, collegial slur, colloquial. Colloquial.

Collegial. Collegial. Collegiate. Yeah, they came up with this in Yale. Ah, slur, for slaves who weary and working through the night, maintain chanting, oh, okay, because they made them work for 24 hours a day, yet they kept singing, they would call them moon crickets. Right, right. They're bloody noisy on the plantation at nighttime when I'm trying to sleep.

Bloody, I tried to go to sleep, and the fucking slaves wouldn't shut the fuck up. Our cotton production is gone through the roof. Now let me tell you, I'm grateful for the cotton linen that they've provided me. But I'm not sleeping on that linen because they won't shut up while they pick it. Yeah, yeah. Luckily, I had a whole lot of cotton wool buds to shove in my ears. Fucking, from farm to table. Would I get cancelled if I called someone a moon cricket?

Here's a thing. When was the last time? I had an injection the other day at a doctors and I had a cotton wool bud put there. Do you have any cotton wool balls in your house for you? I have the I have the earbuds but not no no no no not not the sticks not the swabs

not the swabs sticks we all use those right no I don't I don't know cotton balls cotton balls cotton balls right cotton wool balls right women have bags of them what are they doing with them they dab they dab toner on them to put on their skin they have those little pads

for the toner the cotton wool buds they break into bits you look like Santa at the end of it If you were using them for makeup. Listen, if you thought us analyzing the Iran war, we were out of our depth, as we discussed what women use cotton buds for in the house. I've never felt more at sea. Not the buds, the balls. I know.

I don't bloody know. Taze? Annika! What do you use cotton balls for in the house? What do you use cotton wool balls for? Take off your nail polish. We've got to the bottom of it. Take your nail varnish?

Yeah, what else? and to helping blend excess makeup off her eyebrows. How has this become a business that they've lasted as long as they have? I'm glad we got toilet blockages for that. Antica was taking up nail polish as well. They sell bags of these fucking things. Are they an environmental nightmare? They seem biodegradable.

They seem like they'd go back into the earth, wouldn't they? For all of the environmentalism I see of young women, they must be choking that many turtles just on their daily regular appearance. maintenance. Oh, there are certain things that even the most militant vegan environmentalist will not give up or female will not give up if you just told them, no, you can't. If they said hair straighteners, we're making a hole in the ozone layer, an extra hole, fuck it.

We're still, they love a hair straightener. They love them. Although, to be fair, I've seen a lot of environmentalist chicks, usually curly hair. So it could be something to that. I don't see many. A girl is straightened air going out to the rallies. If you're, in fact, look at environmentalist chicks at the rally. You see many of them doled up?

Usually earthy type girls. Look, they all wax. They never have any bush hanging out the sides like they used to back in the day. You're too young. You wouldn't even remember. I'm talking to a moron. But, no. We need to wrap up.

I was going nowhere with that. Thank God you saved me. Yes, we don't know where we were going. That could have gone worse and worse. I really peaked at fucking hair tongs, and then you said they don't use them, and I had no retort. I was just like, all right.

All I could do was sit there looking at the boarding notice that United's giving me and think, I'm missing my flight for this fucking menial chinwaggery. This is tough. So Taylor Frankie Paul has been cancelled. This is a... You go to show the ladies. I've got to stop hurting men.

Just bring in another girl. The guys will go, shrug their shoulders and go, all right, and everyone will move on with their day. That's all you can do. Like, if you want to be The Bachelorette, just ring up ABC right now and go, I'm well up for it. They're trying to find someone. And here's my final point on this. Okay.

So, I was watching Louis Thoreau's Manor's Manor'sphere documentary. I watched that as well. I'm a bit up and down about that documentary. There was sometimes I thought Louis was being a bit weak, and then sometimes I thought the guys were wankers. I was all over the place watching that documentary. Okay, so here's what I was thinking about as I watched it. And I had this chat, actually, with some of my neighbors who came in. And they were older mums.

And they were saying to me, I just don't know why any young men would even watch these losers, you know, just selling, just talking about how to make money and have sex with girls, you know, just vapid, awful, you know, fake men with their plastic surgery and their fake muscles. Here's the deal. If good looking women had sex with more losers than these podcasts. wouldn't exist. But it was like every time you see one of these dickheads and they are fucking wankers, they have a good looking woman on their arm, man. So it's like proofs in the pudding. What I was going to say is the idea that women are struggling to understand why this

Manosphere content works. And it's like reality television that you will watch is all geared towards women. And it's you showing the worst kinds of women, completely superficial, completely fake. They'll openly say on the show that they're trying to trap rich men and still. their money and they're tragic, horrible human beings that women love to watch. They love to hate watch these women and judge them. And they are kind of the inverse to that is these manosphere pricks that talk about their gym routine and, you know, their looks maxing, smashing their jaw, getting good

jaw lines and how to get as much pussy as you can and how to achieve that and how to scam people in businesses. And it's like, this is just the first reality TV angled at men. That's what I think it is. We didn't have that. It's for disillusion, men. Look, I wouldn't be happy if my sons were listening to those podcasts or getting advice from those podcasts because, you know,

they can get good advice from me. But no, I don't agree with those guys. But I did, like, Louis Faroo, when they asked him about Israel, he just sort of, he went the other way, didn't he? You didn't give a definitive fucking answer. But he kept on bringing up Jimmy Saville with the bloat. He goes, you're mates with Jimmy Saville, aren't you? and he's like, no, I tried to shut Jimmy Savile down in an interview.

I tried to stop. So, like, these guys weren't very well informed or anything like that. But the young men who lost their shit when they saw them in the street. Yeah. But of course, it's just like, they're the big TV stars at the time. If you don't have a father figure and you've got this bloke sort of chatting to it. It all started with that dickhead with the beard who always had guns and he had like 10 women sitting around. Dan Bill Zirian.

Yeah. What do you mean? It started with Hugh Hefner, really. What's the difference? Yeah, but don't, if you don't like it, don't blame the guy. Blame the 12 women sitting around him. I have said it forever, Jim. If women want kinder men at the head of the social strata,

they should go down to the orchestra and blow a violinist or a clarinetist with a nice sweater. You always say this. It's yours. It's yours to change. Hey, if you want to find non-toxic men, start doling out gobbies to guys at libraries. That's a, that's a t-shirt. Print him up, Jack.

You know, look for a guy who's pulled out a novel. I'll tell you what the quote isn't worth, being late for your flight. Ladies and gentlemen, we have to wrap things up. Ladies, be the change you want to see in the world and sit on the cock of a nerd. Yeah, yeah, look. But not one of those weird nerds. One of those nerds that's actually also knows about. wine and has a nice apartment.

Well, you want, you want Jack to be like Hugh Fner, if the world's working how it should work. You know what I mean? Him just walk around. What's Jack? Jack's got 12 bits of pussy hanging off his arm today. Why? Because he, he, because he, he, because of his kindness and empathy.

God, how do I empathy, Max? Yeah, he's always on time. He says, please and thank you. What do you think? He's got 12 women. Why? Because he makes women feel safe and included. That's how he gets all the pussy.

That guy in the documentary who he's with his mum. He's like, yeah. most girls are just fucking bitches and they're all dumb and you need to lead them. And the mum's like, hey, don't you say that? What are you saying that for? Like that, right? That's when he sort of crumbled. His little facade fell.

That's the moment you could see in the documentary that the little prick was just like, no, no, I mean this. I mean this. And I bet you when it's just him and his mum, he's like, well, also think about that young generation. They've grown up their entire life, basically being told that, you know, masculinity is toxic and that white boys need to, all boys, boys need to be less. boisterous and they kind of got lectured to for a good period of time over the last 10 years.

And then they still get on the shoulders of each other at concerts. I can't. I can't. I can't. Right. We do have to go. I have to fly in. With their useless dicks that don't fucking work and they're fucking just grow up.

They're toxic and they're not fucking. Choose a lane, cunts. They're toxic. Ladies and gentlemen, that's what's happening at this moment. Let's hope that by the time I land in America, TSA is working and we're out of Iran and there's no blowback. Wouldn't that be good? All right.

Well, I hope that won't be something that they put on the news. Safe travels. Rest in peace, Ziggi.