I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 55 - Lindsey Graham and His Moose

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

At this moment, Jim and Amos analyze Lindsey Graham's weird, solo trip to Disney. Jim reveals his word association with the Strait of Hormuz, Trump hints at what song he thinks is the "gay national anthem," and how Australia is dealing with banned words.Jim's special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix!ADS:rag & bone: For a limited time, our listeners get 20% off their entire order with code "ATM" at http://www.Rag-Bone.comExpressVPN: Secure your online data TODAY by visiting http://www.ExpressVPN.com/ATM and find out how you can get up to four extra months.SOCIALS:Jim JefferiesWebsite: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠Amos GillIG: @abitofamosgillFB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the DoohickeysSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's expressvpn.com slash ATM. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to at this moment with Amos Gill and Jim Jeffries. Hello, Amos. Hi, Jim. How do you do? Oh, very good, thank you. Very good. It's been a very quiet week, not much to talk about.

What are we going to discuss? Well, today we discuss the war and the shore fire signs of a ground. invasion? Is it how much pizza the Pentagon's ordering? Or is it how much the boys are spending at the Spearmint Rhino? We dissect that. We also talk about Lindsay Graham and what he's

been doing during the war and how he's assisting the country? He had a great government shutdown. And Lindsay, not to connect the two dots here at all, is a Trump fan and Donald Trump's a fan of the gays.

In fact, it links to our podcast, Donald Trump might have got himself in more legal dramas after his endorsement of a certain song as being a gay anthem. Oh, national anthem, I've been told. National anthem. Well, come and see me in Portland on April 9th and April 10th in Seattle on April 11th. Also, I'm going to be doing Fort Lauderdale and Wilmington coming up. And I've got plenty of things coming up.

And we've got that big show that me and Amos are both going to do in Tacoma in Seattle. right before Australia plays America in the World Cup. So if you're in, if you're coming out to Australia, to America to watch the World Cup, come and see me and Amos perform in Tacoma. Yes, and if you're out there,

wanting to see anything that I'm doing, Key West is where I'm going. Won't that be a nice little break for a season? Well, they'll play the gay national anthem for you. All day, they will. Yes, I mean, Key West from that April 15th to 18th. Of course,

my comedy special coming soon through the platform that you see the podcast, something like that on YouTube. Looking forward to doing that. I've got to finish the edit on that. But Jim, let's crank into today's... And oh, our bloody sponsor, I'm going to give him a second shout out. Because when it hit the email and they said they're sponsoring us, I couldn't be

prouder. Rag and Bow. Rag and Bone, love Rag and Bone. They gave me some clothes. I'm wearing... I'm not wearing them right now. I'm going to wear them tonight. But I always wore Rag and Bone. Even before they became a sponsor, that's a nice touch. Yeah, we're a fan. the business.

Fan. Thank you to them. Yeah. Let's start the show. All right, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to listen to the podcast. How are you going, Amos? Are you dealing with the war, well? As the great Gerardo Gattuso would say,

sometimes it may be good, sometimes and maybe shit. This is a good way to look at life. And also now he's the coach of Italy, and I'm just watching them right now lose to Bosnia in a penalty shoot at, which means they become. wait for this. The first team in the history of the World Cup to have won it and missed three in a row, dude.

That's three in a row that they won't go to. They haven't gone to luck because we all remember they cheated against Australia and Lucas Neal falling down. That's the funniest. That's the funniest cope. I used to say that as well. I go back and look at the footage.

I'm like, it's a penalty dead to rights. What's he doing? No, it's not. Two feet down there like that. It is not a penalty at all. not a penalty at all. What are you talking about? You don't know football. You've got the hair of a man who does. Look on my, that Lucas Neal just did the double foot. No need to go down. Could have corralled him out of play. Anyway, listen, I get it. It hurt. But the point is, is that the Italians

are not going to, this is, dude, imagine the Italians of Jersey and New York for the World Cup. And Ireland just missed out as well. The Irish. The Italian Americans don't follow soccer. Australian Australians follow soccer, but Italian Americans don't follow soccer or football as it should be called.

Have you ever seen like a gabagool guy go like this and go and go, and you know what? I used to like to watch Christian Vieri as he kicked the goals

through the posty things. No, they never do it. Yeah, I don't know even Tony Soprano. I don't know if he was probably into the jets. It's a weird thing.

They're so into being Italian. They're into the fashion. They're into the stuff, but they're not into the cultural things that they actually do. They're into making big bowl a sauce and calling it gravy, but they don't watch the, football's everything there.

Imagine not going to the World Cup in the year where there's about 500 teams that have made it through. Oh, when Scotland's going and you're like, who are you? Italy. Yeah. Equatorial Guinea or whatever's in the Cup. Also, this is probably the last World Cup. I think Tasmania made it.

This is the last World Cup that there probably will ever be also. No, no. We'll be split into just two countries soon. It'll just be one side and one side. And I think Australia, okay, so let's go over what's going on in Australia right now. For people who haven't been watching the news, in Australia, they're running out of fuel. I've been told that the news is blowing it up a bit more than it really is from family members who say it's not that bad. But they have a small reserve of fuel and it's going away.

Australia doesn't have enough fuel for the farmers, for people with cars, for lots of stuff. So people are panicking now and they're buying everything off the shells. Australia is always first to buy the toilet paper. That's what we all do when we panic. Get all the toilet paper you can. And they're buying up everything. We have the biggest resource of, what's the bloody, that power we have? Natural gas.

Yeah, liquidified natural gas. And we give that to Asia. So the only really way out of this now is to make a deal with some Asian country and go, all right, you give us your oil, we'll all cut off the natural gas. because Trump has just come out and told all the allies to go fuck themselves. Well, I'm not sure what he's come out and said because it's hard to believe anything that comes out of Washington. Everything seems like a complete lie, a play. It seems to me like this pause that he's putting on there might be while they restock their weapons supplies

because there's been all this talk that they're running out of defensive missiles that they're unable to defend themselves. The ships are getting hit. it seems like we don't get any clear picture of what's happening. One minute, it's a great success. And then the next minute, it's begging your allies to help. It's over. And then just going, oh, the allies haven't helped. So you go get your own fucking oil.

If you don't get your own oil, stuff you. America. Well, here's a direct quote. Are you ready? I'll read it to you. You might be American. And, okay, Carrie, do the quote. I'll do the quote.

So this is the thing I woke up to this morning. All of those countries that can't get jet fuel. because of the Straits of Hermuz like the United Kingdom which refused to get involved in the decapitation of Iran I've got a suggestion for you number one buy from the U.S.

We've got plenty and number two build some delayed courage go to the straight and take it you'll have to start learning how to fight for yourself the USA won't be there to help you anymore

just like you weren't there for us right okay the hard part is done Go and get your own. This is very rich from a country that took about four years to get into World War II. You know what I mean? Like, how dare they, after all these years ago? You're a bit late to this war that we started three weeks ago.

Like, get the fuck out of here. Like, a war that, let's be honest, that Israel started, that we've just been lackeys to come along and join the whole thing. And now you, because Australia didn't join in, we get no fucking oil. Like, we would have sent a boat. We've also got, we've also got nuclear submarines and shit that they need. We're a strategic ally. in the Southern Hemisphere.

It's important you keep it. I know there'll be Americans going, oh, fuck that. It's a little tiny country who gives a shit. But it's, we run the Southern Hemisphere, right? Do you want our fucking help or not? So, so we might have to make a deal with China. Well, we're, listen, we're not,

it's not even about allies, really at this point. We're just a vassal state and they use us for the ports and the, what's the, what's the, the, what's the, the bases that they have in, in, uh, northern territory that they, that they, that they have all their, military ones? No, they have all those satellite things in there that the Midnight O was always

singing about. I don't know. You'd have to check that. No, I know they have bases up in Darwin or something like that, right? Yeah, what's that fucking place called? I'm embarrassed that I've forgotten this right now. Oh, God. Anyway, US forces give the nod.

Yeah. What's the fucking place called? You're going to check fucking, like, the lyrics of a Midnight Oil song from the Midnight 80s. to get some historical reference. USA bases. I just want to get this up there because... Pine Gap.

Look, Australia has fought in every war with America for over... for 200 fucking years. 200 fucking years. And now you're going to fucking act like cunts about the whole thing. Maybe not 200 years, but a long time. Since World War I, before that, we probably did something else. But just go over this with me for a second here. This is what I really enjoy is, he is a scorned old woman.

As people that have had fights with their mother or dramatic family members, it's the way that he phrases it that I like, which is you can buy it from us or you can go and take it. You have to learn to fight for yourself. We're not going to be there to help anymore, just like you weren't there for us. We've decimated them, the hard part's done. You go and get your own oil. This is like having a fight with a parent. And then they're like, no, you're a grown up now, aren't you? So you don't need my help?

I've done it for years. But we weren't involved in the fight to begin with. This is the whole thing. It's like we never had a fight. It's like you didn't help us out in the fucking fight. Well, he's not really talking to us. He's talking to the United Kingdom who said that they wouldn't. So if you haven't been following.

Yeah, but the United Kingdom's not having the same oil problems than Australia. They are having problems, right? They are having problems. They're not thinking. The Australia's having it worse. What do you mean? That's what he's thinking about. The point of his attack here is at the UK who said that they wouldn't support, they wouldn't

lend the air bases. France wouldn't even let them fly planes over their airspace. The same goes for a bunch of other countries like Spain. So the NATO alliance, they're saying, is pretty much coming under it. It's on its full verge of collapse because they won't even let American planes fly over the top of them to get short. Right. So what happens moving forward? You're more versed in these type of things than I am. What happens to be before? Do we make a whole new agreement with a whole new countries. Is this the downfall of America or is this the downfall of the UK? What's going on? Well, the downfall of the UK was probably 1946, wasn't it? Yeah, but like recent, you know, since Cool Catania. I thought, I thought the UK was back

with the Oasis tour and now, you know, it's all gone to shit. I think that might have been a dead cat bounce. One last concept before. They supposedly are like, Donald Trump thinks that they're the Royal Navy, you know, taking on Waterloo or something. I don't know how many, like we said on the last episode, they've got two ships that they're servicing at the moment, the two aircraft carriers. We all know, America has done the protection for Europe. Donald Trump has been talking about this forever that he's tired of protecting them, but it's all covering up for the fact that he seems to have gone in here without a plan

A, B, C, or D. It hasn't gone the way they'd like. The Straits of Amoos are closed. The Iranians are able to do asymmetrical warfare. The idea of protecting, let's say, say Britain's a little brother, right? He's a little brother and he hasn't gotten involved in a fight. You've punched some other cunt and you've gone to your little brother. Why didn't you join in?

You know what I mean? Like, because I could have gotten hurt. I didn't think it was my fight. And you were having the fight and you're the big brother and you've got all the weapons. So, you know, have a go. The thing is, we need to let Donald Trump come out of here because they've made a huge mistake that we have to let him come out of here with whatever off ramp seems like a win. So he gets to come out here and go, we blew up the nuclear materials that there was in If Shahan, and we took out the Ayatollah, mission accomplished, whatever it takes for his ego to think he won to get out of there. So we're not in a prolonged conflict. Because you see, you have Israel that wants us to stay for a full boots on the ground overthrow.

Which is what's going to happen. We're going to have boots on the ground within a month. We'll have boots on the ground there. Yeah, so then there's Donald Trump who's gone in who only cares about the stock market and his economic legacy. This is what he points to. And he's so terrified about that dipping that today when he's made the statements that were done with the war, the futures have returned. So he's like, okay, save some face on that while they wait to probably go again. Because everyone keeps forgetting that we went in there on midnight hammer and said we destroyed everything. We never had to do it again. So it's this creep.

The mission creep keeps happening. It's like, just drop bombs. well, we need to drop more bombs. Now we need to take Carg Island. But then when our soldiers are on Carg Island, we need to defend them from the soldiers on the shore, so we better take the shore. But then the IRGC's in the mountains,

so we better take the mountains. And then before you know it, you're 20 years down the track, and you've got, what, an alliance of people, for God knows how many countries would agree to it. Not many, I would have thought. No.

Are going to have to fight over there? So what do you think? Would you be happy to see Hank going to fight the IRGISC? If they bring in subscription, the term subscription, like a magazine? Subscription? Yeah, if they bring in,

if they bring in subscription, I am getting out of this fucking country, man. If they bring that in, if it looks like my boys could be called up, they won't be. We'll be moving to wherever they can't get called up. That's my plan. I'm not fucking, I'm not dealing with war.

America second. Yeah, yeah, no. I'm America first as long as America's not being a fucking dickhead, and they're being a dickhead right now, you know what I mean? Like, it's a difficult thing, right? You love your country. I live here. I want America to prosper.

I want Australia to fucking prosper, but this is fucking bullshit. And I haven't heard one apology from one of one Trump person in my life. Not one Trump fucking relative or friend that I know that was gone or voted from, except for you. Yeah, you're the only one. But he didn't vote. He couldn't vote. Oh, right.

If he could vote, things would have been different. It would have been a landslide. It was, but it would have been even worse. My vote in California would have got him over the line over there. That's what I always think about my California vote. What a pointless fucking endeavor. You know, you got the propositions. There's a few things I want to go over with this.

So when you say, apologize, okay. I just want a bit of the people. like I will openly say that Biden was a fucking piece of shit and a mess. It was a mess. And the Democrats were fucked for letting him run. And I feel insulted. And they should let Bernie do what he was going to do. You know, they should have shaken it up a little bit, right?

I will openly say that fucking Bill Clinton goes to Epstein Island and he's a piece of shit for doing that. Right. There's, there's, I'm not going to hire, you know, but Trump, no one has said, yeah, we really fucked up there. This was meant to be the no-war president. whatever and I've been laughing off on stage. I would say there's a, no, there's a

concerted group. I think I'm just talking about my dad, really. I'm just angry at my dad. The Tucker Carlson group, you know, are in active battle with the what, neocon group that's fighting on there. But they must feel like right cunts now. No one can say, say, this is all turned out perfectly.

This is the best administration. Everything's been fucking wonderful. Everyone's money's gone in the fucking toilet. You can't sell tickets to comedy shows right now because people are nervous and that's one of the big problems. You know what I mean?

Like, like, like, Australians don't have fuel. I've got a tour coming up in July and August and Australians don't have fucking petrol to get to the fucking gigs. Things are tough. I keep turning up to my 10 people in my room and I go,

ah, yes, it's the security concerns of the public. Yeah, yeah. That's, that's, that's,

that's why Fluffy and Joe Koi sold out so far. Because their audiences, they're just not tapped into the news. my audiences are much smarter. They would never leave their house. They're aware of the dangers that are going on. Fluffy and Joe Koy's fans, buffoons. Cattle, cattle willingly walking into the slaughter.

Not like my geniuses. We do it at home on the signal thread. Yeah, yeah, all the ATM listeners, you're the smart ones. You're all the smart ones. Getting the knowledge. So I want to play a few clips to you because I've been watching the man and I keep calling you, how many times do I call you a week to go, oh, come up, you've got to look at this.

You've got to look at this. We do better podcasts on the phone with each other. Yeah, we do better ones there. But anyway. I was said to you, you've got to see some of these now. Obviously, in the last week, I try and collect clips, and it's so hard to, at the moment, there's so many. I think he drops products in, like the Sharpie, and I think he's investing in Sharpie.

I think he's got his kids investing in Sharpie. And he goes, I love Sharpies. They're good, aren't they? I always feel good when I saw him with them. Check the Sharpie stock. Is that fucking gone up? I mean, a lot of stuff's going up today, but the Sharpie stuff was hilarious, as he gave lectures on. So what he was trying to say, which was quite amusing to me, was that he, so the White House has these special pens.

I don't know whether they're Parker pen, but they're $1,000 a pen. And every time he signs something, you meant to give the president gives the pen to the kids or whoever's in the room, you know? And he goes, we gave out like 35 of these pens, 35,000. And I, I don't want to waste money like that. He says he gets $5 Sharpies because he cares about not abusing taxpayer dollars. And I just wanted to point out that, you know, he has spent, was it $12 billion so far on the bombs in Iran? But, you know, the Sharpie budget, it is nice to know that he's scrapping where he can. Yeah, yeah, you got to watch the pennies to save the pounds.

So, like, there was a few things that I wanted to talk about with Trump. We might as well grip it all together. Jack, could you please play a play a play a little bit of. us the clip of Donald Trump on Fox. He was talking about this new Ayatollah supposedly being gay, which we'll address in a second. I told you. I told you.

And then he talks about his own relationship with the gays. All right. I haven't heard this. This is very exciting. Who are the gays for Pellasin? And they have a significant amount of gays for Pellasin. Now, I think when, you know, I did very well with the gay vote, okay? I even had, I even played the gay national anthem as my walker.

off, okay, for him. And I think it probably helped me, but I did great with no Republicans ever gotten the gay vote like I did, and I'm very proud of it. I think it's great. Perhaps it's because I'm from New York City, I don't know, but... Wait a minute. Is the gay national anthem the YMCA? I await for him to be receiving legal notices. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. If the gay anthem is YMCA, oh my, victim. Willis, Karen Willis, get on to this. He's talking about them bumming in the showers.

It's either that or Kid Rock's about to be really offended at home. Kid Rock does stand like pedophile pornography, doesn't it? We found a lot of Kid Rock under his bed. Well, speaking of someone that would have Kid Rock under their bed, I want to play... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let's just... No, he was talking about the YMCA, right? Because, okay, first of all, first of all, referring to it as a national anthem, meaning there's a nation of gays, which wherever that is, right? They're Mick and Os or whatever.

New Zealand. Yeah, New Zealand. And so the national anthem to it would be the YMCA. He says that's why he's doing so good with the gays. And Victor Willis had the audacity to fucking sue us for saying that the YMCA was home. I hope it doesn't go through because I'm doing a whole routine about it at the moment. And it's like the first 10 minutes of my show at the moment. So I really don't want this to lose momentum with, I'd really like it if Karen could sue us again.

If you could send us another letter, that would be ace. Well, I mean, they did it to essentially win over the Republicans, really, the pivot away from the gay stuff. And now the president's like, I love it because I love gays. I want the gay vote. Because they keep saying that this new I atollah is gay. And it's, to me, it seems like a clear. Why do they be gay? I think they started putting this information out there

because they want the conservatives in Iran to turn against him. They're trying to get as much uprising as possible. They're going to gay Ayatollah. I don't know where the evidence for him being gay is, but we do have some evidence of someone in the Trump cabinet, well, not in the cabinet, but one of his big supporters in the Senate. Do you know the great man, Mr. Lindsay Graham?

Lindsey Graham is as gay as the day as long. He is. If he wants to sue me, have a fucking go, Lindsay. Lindsay, what is he? 70 or 80 years old? Never married. Never married. Never had kids.

Looks gay, sounds gay. I have no problem with him being gay. Has a blood lust like no one else. And keep in mind, right now, there's a government shutdown. So these people we pay the taxes too still can't agree to get us things like the TSA and whatnot. So there's no TSA. I know about, but before this, with the TSA, I was just, I'm going through airports.

And this is the first time, because normally the TSA piss me off because they're making me take me shoes off and all that type of stuff. And I was thanking them all through the airport. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming into work. Thank you. I really appreciate you coming into work. It's such bullshit that right now we were talking about this earlier that we're expecting a terror attack, right? We're expecting one because they were going to, to put boots on the ground.

We need a building to fall down, right? We need a bomb to happen. I don't want to be too much of a conspiracy theorist, but it seems like this is perfectly timed for their there to be a terror plot slipped through the cracks while they don't pay the people who are tasked with checking our security on fucking airports. Yeah. So while we, why we are in fights with Arab countries,

you are going to fucking take away the TSA, you cunts, right? And while this happens, Lindsay Graham, what does he do? He goes to Disney World, by himself. We've got an image,

Jack. Please put this. By himself, he goes to Disney World. But this is the thing, like, I don't begrudge the guy going to Disney World.

It's not a good look. I do. Why? Adults going to Disneyland on their own holding a princess wand while they're also ordering for more people to be killed overseas. Was he wearing a princess wand? No, he was carrying around a princess wand. Was he with anyone?

Was he with like a niece or a... He was by himself. He was just by himself. Take a look at this picture. So there he is. See, TMZ's done this. Now, TMZ's finally doing the right thing. That's a wand in his hand.

Yeah, yeah. All right. Okay. That's a bubble one as well, right? I think so. A bubble one. It's a bubble one. So that's what he was caught doing,

spending the day over there. And then what is so funny? When this came out, Lindsay Webb, who's like, oh, God, I'm currently ordering young men to go to Carg Island and talking about Iwo Jim. Lindsay,

Lindsey, Lindsey, is a comedian friend of ours that lives in Brisbane. We don't want to put anything on him. You met Lindsay Graham. Did I say Lindsay Webb? You said Lindsay Webb. Lindsay Webb's like this.

He's at home right now. Okay. Finally, the boys mentioned me. I'm like, he's always by himself like a predator at Disneyland. Right now somewhere Lindsay Webb's ears are burning. What, how do they know? So then Lindsay Graham is obviously responding to the fact that everyone's calling him out.

Yeah, there's that picture. He then posts... I like the one where the picture where he's having a meal by himself in like the log cabin type of one. But anyway, and there's like Mickey Mouse standing up to the side. He's obviously got the VIP trip where you get backstage and all. that type of stuff where you get to all the rides earlier. It's fucking weird, man. It's fucking weird.

It's like, like, I, you know, like, Lego Land? Lego Land, you have to bring a kid. You have to bring a kid to Lego Land, right? Because they've had enough cunts just show up. I like Lego. I just want to go see some Lego. Just go to Lego land. Right?

So now they went, you've got to have a kid, right? Or you're not going into Lego Land. Disney just lets cunts in without fucking kids. So Lindsay, would need a child escort just to get around Lego. Like, he'd have to rent one for the day. You can't, you can't just be a single male at Lego, at Lego Land. I don't think he can't be a single male at Lego Land.

They've put the kibos on. Clearly, I don't know whether he's off his mind on Benzos, but, you know, you're engaged in this conflict talking about killing people in Iran. And then he's got a princess one. You can just see him like, I'm the princess. Ayatollah disappear. I'm going to make the regime. No, look, look, you know why he went to Disney World?

Because you had to go and remember what we're fighting for. Freedom. Yeah. Freedom. You go to wait. And America, Disney World is the, is everything in America is in Disney World, man. I love Disney. Yeah, kind of cool, good experience, relying on legacy for many years ago and too expensive and fake.

That's right. It's so negative, so negative. They give us Disney Plus. Stop it. It used to be great, but now it's gay. America. All right, let's play some. I didn't even get to show you the other clip.

So everyone was making fun of Lindsay. And then Lindsay goes, this is just too good. He then tweets this picture of himself. It's him. Spend some time breaking clays in Edgefield County today. Doesn't get much better than that. Now, what you don't know is that. Clay is the name of a male prostitute.

An edgefield is edgefield. He's getting edged by clay. It used to be called Bumbing Acre, but now it's been called Edgefield. Today's episode is brought to you by Rag and Bone. Love Rag and Bone. Love them. Good to have a product on that I've been wearing for years. Now, jeans, when you're a stand-up comedian, jeans is our suit.

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Every time I have a conversation, I was talking about this before, but every time I have a conversation and I go, I go, ah, the straight of hummus, hummus, like this. And as soon as I say it wrong,

as soon as I say it wrong, I lose all integrity in the argument. People think I'm an idiot. And so now I know how to say it. It's, it's horse. Hor moose, hormoose, homoose, homoose. The way I remember it, Canadian prostitute. It would be a derogatory term for a Canadian prostitute.

Like, I tell you what, there was a, I paid two loonies and a toony for a hormoose the other day. And put my timbits in her and it was all really, oh, it was that good. At the truck stop, there was loads of hor mooses. I hadn't seen a woman all year. And, you know, she was a real moose, but she was a whore. Hormoose. Hormoose. She's a creepy.

Yeah. It was hard to be straight with the horrooose. I hit her with my car. Yeah, all Canadian comics, all Canadian comics, have a routine where they bury a prostitute in the woods. I don't know why. They've all got one punch line in their set that's like, and then we buried the prostitute in the woods.

Horamuse. Because we've always known there's something bizarrely dark that lies within the Canadians. I love Canadians. I tell you, Canadians have. boil point. They're friendly, friendly, friendly. And then eventually they put a cue ball and a sock and they whack you around the head with it. So that's what Lindsay Graham was up to in the government shut down. But just him backtracking and being, no, I was actually shooting clays.

All over his face. Okay. That little fucking whore moose? While this was going on, I thought it's worth us also looking at CPAC was on. conservative public action committee, which is a conservative conference. And they were talking in that, keep in mind, this is conservative voters, people in the conservative movement.

Jack, play the clip of the CPAC speaker asking the audience what they think of Trump being impeached. How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings? No. That was a long answer. I'm sorry to How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings? No. Can someone bring some coffee out for the...

So would you tell me there are conservatives that are all supporting Donald Trump? I don't know. He's approval rating right now, I believe, is the lowest for any president in history at this time. What's his approval rating? What's the... I saw it as...

I think it was minus 17. How can you be minus 17? You can only go down to Zipater. zero. No one approves. Like, I strongly disapprove. I disapprove so much. I disapprove and then I'm minusing my disapproving and angry.

Trump's overall net approval rating is minus 17 points. How does that work? How does that work? I always thought zero to... And negative 17. What, so like, like, so in his party, it's everybody plus, it's all Democrats plus 17% of Republicans? Or what are we looking at here? So at this point, Bush was. plus 56.

Holy shit. Like, during the war? Yes, and then Trump is now minus 28. Yeah, right. So most people who are at war, you get this boost. Do you think in his quiet moments

he's sitting at home going, I really fuck that up. I really fucked this up. I shouldn't have, oh, shit, I should have denounced the Epstein thing. Well, if he does, if he does think that he covers up for it

by building a new golden statue of himself, in the new presidential library he's approved. So, or the new airport that's just been named after him. Going into the White House after Trump must just be like, all right, get the decorator. Fucking hell. Get a chisel out.

It's all fucking covered in God. This ballroom is going to be the ugliest fucking thing on earth. Well, that's his new fight today. He's lost interest in Iran. Today he's fighting the Congress. So I think the courts have handed down judgment saying he needs congressional approval. and he's fucking melting down because this is one area

that he does feel like he has competency is building. So he's like, don't take that for me. He's historically being good at building things. He's built that for me. He's like, that's the one thing I can probably do.

Yeah. Like, he's almost gone as far to say that at his Twitter like, come on, the war, I'm blowing, but buildings,

that's my thing, man. Do you reckon he's still going to have an Easter egg hunt at the White House? Is that still going on? You reckon he still shows up for that? Millennium's got to do something. Melania's got to do something. She's just been sitting around. A documentary didn't work. You know, Millennia's pretty old, so she'd love to find some eggs right about now.

Isn't that right, Melanie? She froze some a while ago. I've gone, I've gone Jewish. I don't know. It feels like something that he would do. Hey, so is his administration. Have you noticed that, like, Trump, Trump voice now has gone Christopher Walken. Like, he started doing the whole. He's so tired. He's so tired. He's so tired. And he seems. so deranged, doesn't he? Like, I mean, we always talk about how difficult the job is, and then you're old,

and you're in the situation room watching this breakdown. Look, for all my hate that I give to Donald Trump, I couldn't do the job. I couldn't do the job. And even though I think he's doing a terrible job. Your humility is to be applauded. No, but I just, no, no, no, but I couldn't physically do the job. Not like I couldn't do the job intellectually. I could do as good intellectually as he's doing.

I couldn't get up every fucking day and go, another meeting, another meeting, another. I'd have a hissy fit and storm out. I know me, right? I can't work that many hours. Jack is Chief of Staff. Oof, baby. If Jack was doing the Carolyn Levitt role. He'd be my Jack of All Trades, I'd call him.

That'd be a little nickname, and he'd do a bit of everything. Is it true Jack that the president shat himself yesterday? Yeah, that's the whole thing. I fucking, I shit myself now. I shit myself now. At 80, I assume I'll be shitting myself once a week. Once a week, I reckon there'll be a follow-through. Not every day.

Not every day. I don't eat that much food to shit myself every day. But once a week in my 80s, Jack, I reckon, and you won't be wiping or anything. I like to think when I'm 80, you'll be on to new employment. Probably not. The do-hickies will be bringing out their number one's albums. And then I'll be like, why used to work with me, Jackie? Goet, blew it all.

Okay, I wanted to pull this one up, because we are asking whether or not we're going to go to war. Who knows? But there is always these indicators about going boots on the ground. You've heard of the pizza theory? Pizza gate. No, not Pizza gate. So what they do is they track the pizza parlors near the Pentagon. And if there's a huge amount of pizzas ordered, traditionally that suggests that military action is about to be taken

because they're in there doing all night as planning. So they order pizza in. Why don't they get some Chinese food or dumplings? I always find pizza to be a bit boring. Yeah, but a lot of dumplings, a lot of dumplings. A lot of dishes. Yeah, no dishes. That's true.

That's true. One time at the Jim Jeffery show, we ordered a lot of Chick-fil-A. And all my riders who were super lefty about fucking, oh, chick-fil-A, chick-fil-A, they give money to anti-gay charities, all that type of stuff, right? But I had my son, Hank, who was five at the time, and his favorite food was Chick-fil-A. So I said,

the boss's son's coming into work. For dinner, we're all getting a platter of Chick-fil-A. Right? Do you remember the Chick-fil-A day? And they all went, oh, I won't eat Chick-fil-A. They fucking,

it was the most devoured food we ever brought into the fucking office. They were all eating Chick-fil-A. I saw all the bloody lefties hiding behind doors with their Chick-fil-A sauce, dunking away. And it was the famous story where Whitehead stole the one cookie

that was left for my son, cookie snatcher. But I'm just like, I'm saying chick filet is that good you can put up with bigotry. It's that good. There is a new indicator and it's strippers around military bases. Jack, if you'd play this stripper who's giving us insights. Oh, right.

So they're because the boys are about to ship out. So they're getting, you know, they're getting dancing. They're getting one last look at the female form before they're liberating burkers. They've got to go over there and go, that's what we want to turn them into. It's the memory. Okay. Jack, put it up there. strip club next to like several military bases and something I have noticed lately is all the

military guys are coming in and they're spending all their money and they're just like it's sad like they're like kind of depressed and they're like just coming in like oh yeah we're gonna have fun like we're getting what is it called deployed like we're getting deployed next week or like this is happening I don't know I don't want to spread misinformation or anything but it's just like there a lot of them are really kind and these like young guys that look like my pinky toe like they're so like fetuses coming in and then dancing with them and then being like bye and then I'm it's actually like making me emotional yeah okay so fuck cars for kids strippers for soldiers

let's get that fucking up and going I'll tell you what when I was in when I was in Afghanistan uh you know back in the day when I was in Afghanistan there was the men there had that starved for female attention that they were talking about there was a girl on another base and she was an Apache helicopter pilot and they go, oh, when you meet Angela, oh, he's going to the base where Angela's at. Oh, Angela's going to be there.

I thought, fucking Claudia Schiffer was going to walk off this fucking helicopter and take a helmet off and just spray your hair around. Angela was average. Of course. It was fucking average. They were just starving these men for anything. But, yeah, look, I think that's, that is really sad. I think that woman made it a very good point.

She goes, they're going to be deployed out. They're going to be off in fucking Iran and all that type of stuff. walking around, bloody everyone wearing burghers and shit and they're fucking, no women around, lots of stuff. The young men, they should be out getting their dick wet every now and again, right? I'm all for it. Did you know that in the Soviet Union?

Yes. You can get your dick wet there, I've been told. About in war times, they had a division of prostitutes that were in the military. That would deploy out to men. Well, they did that in concentration camps as well. So always good-looking people throughout history have been able to, you know, survive. But this is like they worked to go and fuck the boys to keep the morale up. And then when they, I think this is my favorite thing.

When they have their version of like Veterans Day where they march, there's like a whore division. So it's like, Nan's going to the march. And it's like, what did you do, Nan? And she's like, I sucked Sergei off so many times. And what medals did they get? I don't know. Were they ribbons with white dots on it? The medal of

of Hortune That's the best fun I could do Hortune of war Yeah Hormoose The Hormoose. The Hormoose. Just a little Canadian moose head

You stick it on your shirt And say that you've served Okay, so If you are a person, like you said to me, who's starting to think, Hmm. Oh, this Trump administration No good.

Maybe I've got to join the fight back. There was obviously the No Kings rally and I'm out there looking. It's no, okay, what revolutionary thing can happen? We can't topple him. It's not like British or Australian politics. Yes, we can vote in. Impeachment doesn't work. You've all done this to yourself.

We've got three more years of this shit. Just strap yourself in and fucking, no, I'm done with this. I've heard this ever since I've moved to America. Oh, what we'll do is and then we'll do this and we've already done it. Jim, you voted him in, you've already done it. Jim. You voted him in. You've already done it.

don't black pill people. We want people to be hopeful. I myself have searched out what I can do as I try to join the left. And there's a man on the internet. You don't want to join left. Everyone needs to join the middle. Everyone needs to join the middle.

The left need to join the middle. See, this is the thing with the left. Jim, I'm clearly throwing to a bag. All the Democrats had to do. All the Democrats had to do was go, we will be stricter on immigration, and then they would have got enough right-wing people over there. But they didn't say that.

And then they fucking wishy-washy and all that shit. And now, anyway, I'm just angry. I'm angry. Go on. Tell me what you're going to do. How are you going to get rid of Trump now? Jep, roll the clip. Hello, it's the master. The reason I have red lipstick on is because I'm at the demonstration in Traverse City. There are thousands of us.

And red lipstick I was informed last night by my friend Jen was a form of resistance when Hitler was trying to take over the world. He didn't like women wearing red lipstick. so I've decided Red lipstick Everybody put on red lipstick To show resistance against You know who

Be kind to yourself Be kind to others Over and out Fuck off mate Fuck off Like we gotta come up with better ideas than that Is that all you've got Is put on red lipstick to fucking defend

Like bloody yell Because we all know That's what brought down The Nazis That's the whole thing Because the right and the left are joining together in their hatred for Donald Trump, and they're like, all right, will we have something in common? And then one bloke comes along. And we should all wear red lipstick.

Oh, you've lost us all again. What are you doing that for? Just wear your red lipstick, mate. Don't attach fighting fascism to the lipstick. You want to wear lipstick. Put your red lipstick on. Go to Disneyland with Lindsay Graham. And let's get the adults back into politics.

I want my lipstick. I think lipstick would be good. And what if I wore a girl's dress? The thing about it is no one else is doing it. So he has to wear that to the parade. The parade. That's what it is. Right.

So it's not a protest. To his parade, right? He has to wear that. And then people are like, hey, you want to know why I'm wearing red lipstick? Does anyone question? No, no. We just think you're an old homosexual man who's wearing red lipstick. But you want to know why.

It's to fight fascism. Because Hitler didn't like red lipstick. He didn't like it. So I'm going against you know who. You know who. And what I want to say what I see this is, I keep saying to myself, what was it that pushed me away from left-wing politics?

Because I had such strong periods of my life going to those kinds of rallies, and I ran into a lot of those. And I'm going to play you another clip where you go... I would have loved to see you at a rally. You would have been good at a rally. A rally. I love the energy of rally.

Look, let's be honest. nice, good place to meet girls, right? No, I wish. I was, I never, I was, back in the day, back in the early 2000s, it wasn't a good, bad place if you wanted to meet some nice. So we didn't have social media, you see. We didn't have, we didn't have the dating apps. All I had was protests.

I just love saying just nuts, do you know what I mean? Like, I, I got to, I got to play this. Because in Canada. Why have you got into your Trump face then? I got to play. Because in Canada. This is not a Sharpie. by the way is useless.

The NDP, one of the more leftist party, that more left than, it was Jagmeet Singh's party before. They just had their big conference. And I'm looking at their conference, which is on viral over the weekend. And I think I'm navigating back to more left positions. Okay. And then I look at some of these ridiculous cultural Marxist parties. And I think, oh, I remember why I got pushed to the right for a long time.

these people are insane. This clip is the chairperson of the NDP party conference. And at the NDP, if you want to ask questions to the group, people were given equity cards based on basically where they're out on the privileged pyramid. And whoever is intersectionally worse off, you know, trans-Palestinian disabled person. Right. Would be the peak of that. You can put your card down and get to the front of the queue to speak.

Right. Right. But how do you get, how do, like, you'd have to tell them all your issues. Yes, you've obviously registered at the conference and then they give you a different color. Right. So you've, you've been given a whole lot of boxes to tick. And whoever ticks the most boxes, and then you get to go to the front of the line. Yes, you get a card and you can veto at any point when people are talking. You go, sorry, I've got the yellow square. You feel I'm more, I'm more marginalised than you. I am everything that you are, plus I'm missing an eyebrow. Yes. So, Jack, I would like for you to play the.

clip there of the lady arguing with the Palestinian protester. I see that we are one minute ahead of schedule and so I'm going to get out of here. Oh, she's a horro-moost. The balloting co-chairs are returning, I believe. Now balloting co-chairs? There is a point. Let's hear the point on microphone one. I'm sorry, just real quick, point of personal privilege.

I understand there's very little time and for delegates to speak, but early on the mic, it's hard as a racialized and transgender delegate to sometimes use this card and speak up, speak to somebody in front of me in line, and ask, hey, this pertains to multiple intersecting parts of my lived experience. I'd like to speak. I was rejected when I talked. And it's frustrating when these are my rights being directly under attack right now in Alberta and that a cisgender woman had spoken over me.

And I understand her rights. are important too this pertains to her too but I don't know I I hope that in the the future the the federal NDP will also have a broader interpretation of the equity cards for speakers that's all thank you I will invite delegates to assist me in better using the card by forming a straight straight line behind the microphone with a prominently displayed equity card if I see speakers ahead of you who are not holding a card prominently it would be wrong with me to guess about their gender identity and I will come to you. This applies so far according to your rules

for gender identities other than a dude, but it is open to us to change our rules as we like as we move forward into the bright and golden future. Thank you friends. Let's hear the balloting co-chairs. I don't know what I'm watching. I don't even understand this. I'm directed to a point on microphone three. Point of information. I'm not sure if it's appropriate for me to bring a point of privilege around an emergent issue with some job loss in my workplace. This is a sketch, right? This is real. If it is impairing your ability to participate in the meeting, it is a correct point of privilege.

If you'd like an announcement to be made from the stage, we can arrange for that, and then the delegates can hear it from here. Not right now. So, okay, bring it to you. Bring it to you. Bring it to me. We'll find a way. Good?

Okay. Okay. I had no information. That was minutes long. anyone who has to say pertain as it pertains to me this pertains to you this pertains also I'm look I don't

I never want to talk about someone's physical features or anything that means spirited but if you had to draw a character sure of her stay away from the ears holy hell she looked like a South Park yeah yeah it's a drawing of a woke person yeah it's it's what I wanted to say was this it was cartoonish how

okay carry on say what you're going to say so we're a different generation so I went to uni when that was being formulated massive. That was never in my generation. We never had that. That was bubbling up at the services, right? And now it's trickled its way out into when you look at like Greens parties and the NDP, these are the people that have gone through.

Everyone talking about their life experience, my life experience. My life experience. And I hold this card. And I, because we're talking about this topic, I have a reason that I am more important to speak to rather than all these other people because I had a harder life and I have this disability or I have this race and it's like that he's so antithetical to common sense. Everybody thinks they're important. No, and none of us say.

But what I mean to say is watching that, I have been doing so much self-reflection lately and I go, why did I feel so drawn over the last five years to be so easy to be poached by a Trump-like movement? And then I watch that and I'm reminded of the last five years and living around that, particularly in the art scene and thinking, fuck me, you can't have that. That's detestable to me also.

It's not as bad as foreign invasion. It's not one or the other. It's not one of the other, which we're meant to be moving to the middle. Try to get to the middle. Okay, but this is my point is... It's not like if you don't follow Trump, you have to start following these people.

No, I'm just trying to point a line as to why a lot of people do fall that way. If you look at that, that is so wacky town. Okay, and that's purposely happened, by the way, they've destroyed left wing through identity politics. Yeah, that's true. From 2008, when there was the Wall Street crash and Occupy Wall Street was there, and we focused on the economy and the bankers and how we'd been fucked over by what was happening

in capitalism and the, you know, the private wins and the socialized losses of the banks who got bailed out, right? It was such a big cultural movement. And ever since then, you may notice that banks and all these big companies have pushed a lot of this trans identity, racial identity. pronouning, this person has to speak to that person. All that's done is it has torpedoed the left wing solidarity movement where poor people are like, I don't even fuck who you root,

what race you are, where you're from, right? We're on one team here fighting against the power structure. They've done the most amazing job, the rich and powerful, of dividing the left into wacky nonsense. I agree completely with this. Because even when we were doing the Jim Jeffries show, I remember doing a field piece on the trans sport thing and lots of stuff and thinking, I don't know about this.

But I just didn't give a fuck. You know what I mean? I just don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck about your pronouns. I don't really give a fuck if you play sport or not. It's not a concern of mine. It doesn't take up my day. But then what happens is you get push come to shove.

If you have to put your name on it, what do you actually believe? Do you think there should be this many pronouns, that many pronouns? And it forces people eventually to go, oh, you can buck off then, right? You put me in a difficult decision. Because I'm like, like you said, I don't give a fuck who you fuck. I don't give a fuck what you want to do with your life. As long as you're not hurting others, you live your life as you see fit. It's none of my fucking business.

But then when you have to put me out of the way and all of a sudden someone's jumping to a line in front of me because they have a special card because they have been deemed to be more important than I am because of their whatever they're, we've all had hardships. We've all had shit things happen in our lives, right? We've all had things that have molded us and made us into the person. that we are. It doesn't mean we get to the front of any other line. We're all the fucking same. Just fucking get on with it. Yes, you want to play one more of these clips and we'll just

see how it goes. I've got one more. You just want to upset me now. You just want to upset me. Just let's say one more of those clips, please, Jack. It's the with the Palestinian lady. Thank you, delegate. There's a point of privilege on microphone one, then we'll go to microphone a point of privilege. Yes. Hello, I was standing here with my gender equity card before you called on the previous speaker. That's my point of privilege that I would like to... I will explain the speaking order which is fixed that I cannot amend, which is the pro-con rotation. You can move yourself up a line that you're standing in.

I am pro, and I was... We went... You went pro-con. We went pro-con, pro, and my plan was to go con. The speaker at ConMite 3 also has a speaking card. Yesterday, this card was used in an inappropriate matter. And while I understand in Ontario, we know this as equity, even if that, this was also used inappropriate in terms of gender. I want everyone to be mindful that these cards for individuals like myself who identify as a black woman have no value outside of this space.

But what if I identify as a black woman? Do I not get the cat? If you've got access to a staples, you can identify as whatever you want. I've said that, you know, because remember when that there's a cat. Dezim de Zol or whatever her name was. Rachel Dolazole, right? Dezim de Zoll. Right?

Dezum Dezol? Yeah. Famous Palestinian activist Dezim de Zol. Okay, so she said it had a news sent to her that she mailed to herself and she did some other things and she did some stuff that's like Jesse Smolity type things, right? I don't agree with that. But I don't, and people, I don't see the issue if you identify as a different race. I don't see how it's any different from identifying as a different genre.

I don't understand. understand why that is so heinous to people that people go, can you believe that this woman thinks she's black? She lived a black existence. She raised black children and she read up on it and she seemed to identify as being that. I think it's as plausible as saying you're a different gender. To look at your body and go, I think my skin should be a different color.

It's no different to I think I should be a different sex. But what are your thoughts on that? Well, look, I'm a person with three passports. I obviously try to identify with far too many. that's for sure. I identify as British, Australian and American. I identify with all the countries, man. I do.

I see culturally, because I've lived in the different places, I feel like I'm culturally part of those three places. It's been very funny for me over my lifetime, particularly of late to be like, I'm fighting against globalism with my Australian, Croatian, and soon-to-be American passports. Yeah, yeah. I'm a nationalist.

I'm a nationalist for many countries. Those people lining up with those cards, are they having a fun day? Is that a good day for them? Because that guy that was nodding off to the side, like, this card has been used and inappropriately, and he's like, hmm. You know, are they having fun? Is this fun for them? Well, don't you think, though, this is when you watch that where you go, there is so much, when it becomes so much.

They're losing their individual. Yes. They're being, they're being so individual that they're losing their individuality. They're conforming with their individuality. They're still not being themselves. They are one unit saying that we're all individuals. and they're losing everything. Okay.

So anyway, my algorithm is I see all the things I think Donald Trump's doing that are fucking despicable. None of this stuff comes through my feed, you know. None of this stuff comes to my feed. You source it, man. You, like, I, okay, put your phone up right now and show a reel on your Instagram. Let's see what shows up because I'll reel off with you. I'll do a reel off.

You want to do a reel off? All right. So let's see, because mine's going to be sports cards. boobs. Well, sorry, mine's Marco Pierre White, which is, it is food for the most part. All right, so I start with, this is, this is

Channel 9 News in Australia showing that you can cycle on a plane. What do you mean? Well, that's our solution to the fuel shortage. There we are. That's showing up for me. There we go. That's the next one. How to Talk Australian. Some Blake saying how to talk Australian.

Mine is bomb shelter for the war. This is girls walking around Vegas. Yep. This one's Hitler, bad guy. How to Crack into a Sports card? I live a very simple life. You know what mine actually? Surviving a whole day with 10 Australian dollars.

This girl's going to do it with 10 Australian bucks. I'm obviously very thrifty. My feed today was... Someone doing a stand-up routine about fat girls? That's right up my alley. Anyway, whoever's doing the fat girls routine. So you're telling me you today, you didn't see any of the videos of Al Jolani, the Syrian leader, meeting with Kiyah Starma? Tell me more.

Tell me more. Do you know, Al Jolani was the leader of Al-Qaeda. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I know, but I haven't seen the video. I'm intrigued. Hey, he's just in his suit and he was sitting there with Kirstama at the parliament as the new leader, you know. But people were posting the photos today of him holding two human heads that he had personally decapitated. Yeah, I saw him at the UN.

And behind his little desk, yeah, he, yeah. Look, you can't live in the past. If he's moving forward, you can't just bring up the head thing all the time. When does it ever end? Do you think when he's talking to Kiyos Dama, he's thinking about what it would be like to take his head off? No, I think he's thinking the same as everyone else. When will this finish? What am I going to get it for dinner?

You don't think after you've taken off one head, you don't have a disagreement with people. I don't think, I don't think you want to take off more heads, do you? I think it gets easier each time. Isn't it a gateway? Yeah, once you've done it once. Yeah. You can do it many other times. Because you know how easy it is.

You'd be like, once I get through the first bone, it's all just. How easy it is? How easy do you reckon it is to cut a head off? I think once you get through that, there's a, I think once you get through this side, you're all good because then you sort of just use gravity. You reckon you can just do it with a knife? Take the head off. Yeah, a good knife.

You can deal with an axe. Do we have a sponsor of the Shoney Knife? Do we have Swiss? The Swiss Army knife. Get on that, get a Swiss Army knife. Then you can scoop out the brains with the spoon. All I wanted as a kid was a Swiss Army knife. I remember thinking that would, I could do everything with that.

And then I got one, never used it. Fucking, they're a pest of a fucking tool. They are. Was the Swiss Army? The iPad? Was it the iPad for our generation of kids? I don't know, but it was like the idea you'd have a mate that had like a little tiny one, right? And then you had one, like the guy who had the big, thick-ass one that had the hack saw in it and the toothpick and the magnifying glass.

If you had the magnifying glass, then you were really fucking going for it. Everything was a bit shit. Nothing could be. You know, it's never seen battle. The Swiss haven't been in war. The Swiss Army was like 200 years old. And the Swiss haven't been at war for 400 years or some shit. It's never seen battle.

And it's the most famous fucking army implement ever. I do remember having one as a kid, like being like... I bought one in Switzerland. It was blue because I was like, you can't get the blue ones in Australia. You got to get the red ones. People are going to be really impressed. I got a blue one. I distinctly remember thinking, holding one like, wow, you can build cities with this thing.

That was my belief was that civilization came from that thing. These tools. Go into the bush. If I have this, I could survive forever. Everything I need is in my pocket. The little scissors were good. The little scissors worked. The little tiny scissors were a winner.

But they weren't good for nails. They were just good for cutting a little bit of paper or whatever, but they were all right. We've got to move into a couple other stories before we finish on some fun ones. Cork screw. You can't use the corkscrew because they had no leverage of it. You were just pulling against the thing. You need like a waiter's friend. There was the nail file.

I always like that. No one ever used that nail file. If you used all that and had just like dead skin inside your knife, everything would have rusted out and gone all to shit. Last time on the podcast, we did one called From the River to the Sea Word. And I was reporting to you that in some states, in Australia there now banning the phrase from the river to the sea.

In Australia, it's an arrestable thing to say from the river to the sea. Now, what happened with that was, the Muslims went a bit crazy in Australia, and so we over-adjusted. They were saying, gas the Jews out the front of the opera house. And so the Australians went,

all right, fuck you. After Bondi, if you haven't listened to the other podcasts. And now they've banned any anti-Semitic statement. They believe that from the river to the sea is banned in a.

Australia. You can't say that anymore. So I'm just filling, we're just filling people in. Yeah, filling people in. So there has been this surge naturally of people who go, well, you know, you can't tell. We have freedom of speech in our country. If we want to say from the river to the sea, basically it's the equivalent of always, was always, we'll be Aboriginal land. Whether or not you agree with them, you disagree with them, we have freedom of conscience to speak our mind on these topics. And so these graffiti have shown up

everywhere. Now, the bit of this, it's funny. We've already gone over this topic, but listen to how scared Channel 9 news is to even repeat what was said. They're treating it like it's the N word, the C word, whatever other words all mashed together to form the most dangerous sentence on earth. Listen to this news report. A controversial mural has popped up in South Brisbane featuring Australian music icon John Farnham and a band pro-Palestinian slogan. The phrase could lead to jail time under new laws passed this month with one artist already facing the threat of legal action. A mural with a message, using the words of a music great,

to test the state's new hate speech laws. John Farnan,'s popular song, Too Strong Hearts, isn't illegal in Queensland, But the phrase from the f*** to the shton has been outlawed and carries up to two years imprisonment. Prompting artists use creative loopholes to spark political conversations. Freedom of speech is the bedrock. Oh, yeah. Okay, so that's quite a famous Australian song, and it's not got anything to do with Israel or Palestine. It's just, uh, from the river to the sea, you and me, we got two strong hearts.

We stick together like the honeys and the bees. You're going to get arrested at the Brisbane Entertainment. center for that. The fact that, the fact that if you put that on in a nightclub or something now, that song from John Farnham, who John Farnham, if you don't know, he's called the voice, he was like this Australian, he's still alive. Every time I go back to Australia, he's about to die

and then he just pulls through. But really good singer. But just a pop artist, nothing political about him in any way. You know what would be really funny is if this song really takes off in the Arab world because of this, and they think he's like a pro-Palestinian activist, John Farnham, and then there's

just him with like a kefia. wrapped around his head. He's doing shows across the Middle East. He gets a new, he's the voice, he's the voice of Palestinian resistance. I think he has throat cancer, mate, and I can't sing anymore. So I wouldn't bring that up, but, uh, he could, he could, he could, he could still lip sync. He's still go out and lip sync. You know, still, you know, still, someone's daughter. They killed someone's son. Oh, was it a daughter? You can't tell anymore. Through the barrel of an Israeli girl.

I got to listen to some Farnham. He's all right, man. He's a banger, Johnny Farnham. He's one of those things that when you leave Australia, you don't listen to him for about a decade. And then you go back and you go, yeah, he was all right. You can sing good, man. He's in good. You put on, you're the voice or age of reason or that paradise song.

He's all right. River to the sea song. And the fact that they just bleeped it from the bleep it to the bleep, you and me. And it's like now that if I was a kid growing up, in Australia and I watched that news report. The first thing I would be doing is fucking saying that around the school yard. You've banned it now. You've made it ban.

Like, it's not a derogatory slogan like the N word. It's not like, you know what I mean? Like, if I had, we need, we need someone in jail for it. We need a martyr to go to jail. Because they say you can go to jail, right? So this guy can go to jail. We need someone to go to jail for everyone to go. I tried.

I did it every night of the festival. Every night of the festival. And I thought it would be good for me. I'll get the message out there and the message is buy my tickets. That was the message. So what were you saying on stage? I said, I grew up in Remark and I moved to Brighton.

From the river to the sea. Right. Yeah, okay, from the river to the sea. You know what the problem is with the river to the sea is that it's such a placid sentence as well. It's not,

and it's just, it will be from the river. It's it from the river to the sea. The Palestine will be free. You know what I mean? Like, like it's, it's not a,

it's not like, Like, fuck people. It's like, fuck you. Suck my dick. It's not that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Death to the infidels. It's not that fucking shit, is it?

It's not, it's not Al-Aqmar. They would say, they mean by river to the sea, and they mean, they're all the Jews. I know, but I just said Al-A-Aqba, and he went, that means God is good. Yeah, but it's like if you say it before a crime, you know what I mean? They say it right before a crime, right?

Like, like, like, if every time you, you said Merry Christmas, you just slapped the woman in the face. We'd stop saying, stop saying Merry Christmas. I was just thinking, we would never say, our terrorists would never say, God is great. An Aussie terrorist before he blew himself up would say probably, I don't know what.

Warty! Fuck us! Fair Dickham! Fair In the name of Bradman. All right, well, that's... V8 Holden! That is pretty fucking sad to see that, to be honest, pretty lame. Look, I like that the guy's trying to shit stir because also to go,

I'm just, I'm just trying to write something about John Farnham. And like, like, when he heard that song and actually went, oh, yeah, fuck, it's got the lyrics in it. Oh, that must have been. I wonder what Johnny, is Johnny Farnham made a statement? Not that I've seen. I wonder if they're going to ban, like, watermelon consumption in public as well. Why watermelon?

So watermelons, the symbol of Palestinian resistance. Is it? Yes. I didn't know that. That's why that woman in the video had the earrings of watermelons. I love watermelon. And you would have seen a watermelon on there, yeah. I wonder why it is it because watermelon resists in the desert and is still able to grow under harsh conditions?

That's going to be my guess. I don't know about that. But I always like, when people paint it, they always put the seeds in it, but now they got rid of the seeds. How good was your first watermelon, seeds when you're a kid, when your dad brought this home, they go, they're genetically modified them without seeds. You won't remember that. It was in like the early 90s. And they went, no more seeds. And I was like, what you mean no more seeds in water? It was fucking heaven. Heaven. I've just found out why it is, it is not because of my idea that they can grow in

harsh climates and persist. It's because the flag used to be banned and watermelons are black, red, and green. Well, it was their way of getting around. That's why they got to include the the seeds in there. I have the seedless watermelon. So mine's not political at all. Okay, so let's go to a couple of fun stories to finish. First of all, one of the great heists has taken place over the last week. In the UK.

UK, the Kit Kat. Someone fucking heisted a truck of Kit Katz. How many pounds did they steal? Something tons. Let's get up the info. Was there a video to play? Here we go. Official statement.

we can confirm that 12 tonnage of KitKet products were stolen while in transit between our factory in central Italy. There you go. I did not know that they were in Italy. And their destination to Poland. We are working closely with local authorities and supply chain partners to investigate. The good news, there are no concerns for customer safety and supply is not affected. How the fuck can you lose 12 tonnage and not have supply effect? But also 12 tons, but how do you move them on?

because, you know, when you come into crime, you want to make money off that crime. You want to move on the product that you stole. And people are going to be like, what have you got? I got a lot of Kit Katz. Where did you get them? Don't ask any questions. Yes, it's on the news, mate. You're the Kit Kat guy.

Nah, just selling Kit Katz. Well, do you think they go to, like, convenience stores or is one person just hoarding? Is there, those kids that are saying, I've got to get my basketball team to a conference and they're just selling chocolate bars, you know, those kids that are around the, like, the train station. And you're like, you're just selling chocolate bars, mate. Don't give me the whole spiel. Just you want a couple of bucks.

Give me your sneakers. And let's move on with our fucking day. Or, you know, it's a pedophile ring that's cutting costs. All right. So Kit Katz, what's in the ingredients of a Kit Kat? Go through it to pour me. What, chocolate wafer? Yeah.

And what's the stuff in between the wafers? It's crunched up failed other wafers. Is this correct? It's other crushed up Kit Katz made into a paste. It's failed Kit Katz, yeah. Yeah, made into a paste that goes in between the wafers. wafer's, right? How did they make the first Kit Kat? These are, hey, these are difficult.

This is just like, you know, when you're at the rubbish dump, is there a bin in the office? That has fucked me up right now. Is there a bin in the office at the rubbish dump? Or do they just throw it out the window? I think that's a, I don't know if that's a Mickey D joke or an old joke, but like, what do you do? You just start out the window. You get done for littering at the dump.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I used to love the dump as a. kid. If my dad said we were going to the dump, that was like, you could find anything. Like, that was, that was, you've never been to the dump, Jack? You've never been to the dump. Your dad's never gone, come on, boys, we're going down to the dump and loaded up a vehicle. I've never done it with my kids either, mind you. Yeah. I've got to the dump with my dad plenty of times and we end up taking more than we fucking dropped off. Yeah, you go in there. That's how I knew other families were richer first. Was like, wow, let's throw on that out. Look at this, dad. This is a

fucking bag, plastic bag of spoons. Well, they look pretty good. They'd clean up all right. All right. I put them in. We'll take them back. I do distinctly remember dad making me take a bicycle seat off a discarded bike, whereas that bike seat's still got a bit of it.

Yeah. You go down to the dump and then you just crawl around the garbage as your dad's throwing out things as a kid, and then you go through there. A rat will pop up its head or something like that. But it's, there's a bit of a bit of a dump. adventure going to the dump. And your mom was happy because everyone was out of the house and she was, you know, you get rid of shit.

I got some breaking news just pop up. Tiger Woods is stepping away from golf. He says he is seeking treatment and focusing on his health in his, uh, uh, I was watching because he was about to enter the masters and I was watching TMZ. And TMZ had a vote. And they were like, will Tiger Woods win the masters? And 11% of the people still went, oh, yeah? Yeah, he'll still have a go.

And the rest of him were like, no, he's clearly fucked. I feel so sorry for Tiger because it's like, okay, first of all, I found out why he doesn't have a driver, right? Everyone's like, the guy's worth a billion dollars. Why doesn't he just have someone driving around? He likes the privacy. That's what they reckon in the statement. He likes the privacy.

He doesn't want people knowing what he's getting up to in his car because obviously he's just ringing prostitutes and fucking talking about taking Vicodin all day. Well, get, you know what I mean? Bloody, get Lindsay Graham's driver. He's kept his mouth shut over the years. Well, we get Lindsay Graham to drive for him. But it's, look, it's terribly sad. Also, when you see that Jupiter, if you ever been down there that part of Florida,

there's no curbs on the sidewalk, right? It's just sort of like grass and then road. To roll a car, you've had to put some fucking effort into it. You've had to get your wheel and go on fucking crank like this to roll a car. It's almost impossible to roll a fucking car. he must have been fringing it around the bloody corner. He was, and apparently looked out at his phone, then he clipped the car, rolled out,

exited out of the passenger side. I didn't know this. So I found, I was doing some reading about it. So you know, he's, he's with Vanessa Trump, which is Don Jr's ex.

And so he's now the stepfather of Kai Trump, you know, the young golfer. Really? Yeah. So the Trumps are very close to Tiger Woods. And that's what Don said. Great friend.

Great guy. Good friend. Here's with Don Jr.'s ex-wife. And because of that, the Secret Service detail here as well for him, because Kai Trump is involved, Trump's granddaughter. And as of, I think it was in the last couple years, he's not allowed to drive the kids. The Secret Service have banned Tiger from driving the children. He's not allowed to be controlling a vehicle with them because of his past DUIs.

Well, as a person who's had subsist, issues myself, I feel for him. But, you know, look, best thing for him, give up the sport. Already, part of the reason why he's fucked up is because of the sport. Is this, is this, he has to persist. He has to keep going. His backs all fucking. He gets a leg. Yeah, he gets on painkillers and all the type of stuff. To keep going, keep going, keep going. Retire, mate. Do the after-dinner circuit. Fucking go around and fucking tell stories. Do commentary.

You tell you we won't have Tiger Woods with these, like. You know, you know Tiger Woods voice is? Tiger Woods voice is when Richard Pryor used to play a white person. Oh, hey, how are you going there? Oh, okay, I'm a white guy. You know, that black comedian doing the white guy voice? That's the Tiger Woods. It's hard.

Listen, Jim, it's hard to step away from what you love. You can still play golf. He can still play if he wants to play socially. You can still have sex. He still has sex. He still has sex. He could sell. Nike fucking clothing till the day he dies.

He's worth a billion dollars, man. A billion. Like, it's easy to walk away. I'm going to say it's easy to walk away at that stage. When your body's all fucking decrepit and you're all fucking like, ugh, like this. Like, no. I got asked the other day, Jack

rang me up and said, do you want to play in the Netflix as a joke golf tournament? And I said no, because I've retired from golf. At least on I didn't get the press release. I'm out. I'm out. I never got me good at it. I picked it up during COVID. I kept trying. I kept trying. I got fitted gloves. I did everything I could. Fitted clubs. I did everything I could and I never got any better. I think it's

because my legs are too little. I couldn't get the tort on the whole thing. I couldn't swing the club probably because of me tall torso and little legs. I don't think I have the dimensions of a golfer. And so I'm not going in these tournaments. I've never agreed with you more. Keep talking. I love the problem is, right. I go do these tournaments and it's just like school again. When I hit a good shot, Even the people competing against me start clapping because I'm that spacky at golf, right? I'm that bad at physical endeavors that other people start to cheer. When I play basketball as a kid, if I got a shot in, the other team would applaud. That is so demoralizing, right?

And I'm over it now. I'm almost 50. I'm not good at sports. I'm never going to get good at sports. I'm average at video games. Let's move on. Let's end on a real fun story that you sent last minute. Last minute you sent into the group, and it might be the best.

one. That's why it's coming in last. Here we go. So this story, which is on an Instagram thread from Masters in Meme, don't know what the news source is, but fuck me, this is good. Let's hope it's real. It might not be real. We cannot verify this, but fucking

pretty funny. We hope it is. Authorities in Algeria have reported an unusual attempt at border crossing involving three men who allegedly disguised themselves as sheep in an effort to enter Spain. According to officials, hey, hey Jim, lucky they didn't try to enter New Zealand. Well, they would have been entered when they entered.

Hey, hey. According to officials, the individuals covered themselves in cotton padding, altered their appearance and concealed themselves among livestock being transported toward the border. The attempt was uncovered when officers observed irregular movement with the flock and stopped the vehicle for inspection. Upon examination, authorities determined that the supposed animals were human. All three mirror. Yeah, okay. So. So, if you see the picture, it looks like the biggest hate crime you've ever seen. They've gone blackface and covered themselves in cotton. Like, it's, uh, as, like, like, like, like, like, like, just trying to get into another country

and trying to, trying to get over a border. No, no. These guys, they could get away with saying from the river to the sea, but. I mean, that one's a Halloween from hell for, uh, your future job prospects, if you're one of those guys. But they've blacked up so much. they're like you would never know who they are. And they've done the socks on the side of the head.

I don't remember sheep having big ears like this. What's that all about? Isn't that what Rams have on their head? I don't know. But they're so Sean the sheep. Yeah, it really looks like Sean the sheep, doesn't it? This can't be real, right? This has got to be a sketch group, right?

This can't be a real thing. Jack, what I'm thinking here is old man brings AI slopped to the group chat here. Jack showed it to me to begin with. I was like, that's a winner. I hope it's real, but this is, this could be you transitioning to that. You wouldn't believe what I've seen. And there's this girl on the internet who,

Africans are pretending to be sheeps to get into Australia. We've got a ban live export. It wasn't, it? It was to get into Spain, won't it? Or Portugal, where was it to get into Spain? Getting to Spain. Why would you want to get into Spain for? Do you want to see something that happened to me the other day?

You're going to go, Oh, Amos, you can't. do this, but I'm, I'm willing to wear it. I was at a friend's house. I'm already, I'm already, know you can't do this. And this guy took a photo of me and then it was a race changing app, but it shows what you would look like as a different race. Okay. Why does this app exist? What do you get out of this? I've got to be honest with you. You went straight for Asian, didn't you? One of my, no, I went for black. One of my best friends as a black guy looked amazing. He looked cool as fuck. Who is that? This is my friend, Ollie.

Yeah, he just looked like, he kind of looked like biggie, because he's a fat guy. I got too big a forehead for it, for, I got Homer Simpson head. Wait, wait till you see this. I came back looking like a Sri Lankan spin bowler. This is, yeah, you're not, that's not a black guy, you're an Indian. Yeah, you're an Indian. With dark skin, I'm Indian. Look at that.

That's Murielian. That's not you. That's a different bloke. That's a man that gets about a. foot of turn on the subcontinent pitch. Look at that guy. Yeah, he's all right. He's all right. I think you better look at an Indian. What's going on, bro?

I think, I think. With the AC Malarm kit. Read this. Oh, what are we going to do? It's stopes or whatever. In short, the pitcher did not show migrants attempting to end to Spain or Algeria. Footage from the 2024 showed people in the same costume, dancing to the theme song at the animated children's show.

Sean the sheep. Fucking Jack fucked me. Get rid of Indian Amos. Bro, that's so racist. Why did you bring that weird fake story, bro? Jack fucking showed me pictures of the guys from Sean the sheep getting in. I was hook, line, and sinker. And then it turns out, no, this is just a photo shoot from there.

Next time you bring fake fucking news. That's the one story I've never brought in. I want you to remember. There's more than three of them. If you watch the whole footage, there's a lot of it. There's the rest of them. There's the rest of them. Now they're dancing.

I fucking pull stories from all over the internet. And then right before we fucking record, Jim, I want to lead with this story. It's a big story. I've seen it everywhere. It's Jack's fault. That's a good video, though. Anyway, they shouldn't have been doing it. They were doing blackface.

I reckon we bar bar, bar black sheep. You know, I've been seeing a lot of problems with immigration. I saw some guys dressed as sheep. I said to Tom Holman, you've got to be careful because they're coming as livestock. The sheep are coming in. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats. They're literally a wolf in sheep's clothing. They're going to get in here and they're going to rape. If you send this to the Trump administration, they'll pay you for the tip off.

Do you remember back in the day there was like, there was this, there was this footage of this girl that twerked up against the door, right? And she fell over and she hit a candle and the candle set a curtain on fire and then all this type of stuff, right? So when we were doing the Jim Jeffery show, this video was going around and we were a day away from airing this video and going, look at this girl being an idiot, blah, blah, blah. And it turned out that Jimmy Kimmel had set the whole thing up. And about 10 TV shows, it all aired it as an actual clip, right? And you almost got it done. We were a day off. If we were a daily show, we would have been fucked.

I would have gone all in on that. But because we were only once a week and it happened like the day after our last episode, let it play out for six days and we were safe. We've got to finish up now. And I want to end on one final clip. It wouldn't be better than the sheep. People dressed up a sheep to get Nigeria or Spain. Jim's an atheist.

I'm a Catholic. You're not a Catholic. You believe he. God. Do you really? You believe in a higher power that's going to fucking, you were brought up Catholic. I've never heard you. I'm sorry. Are they my saints beads? All right. Okay. So give me the rosary. Where's your rosary beads? Do you want to see my rosaries? They're literally just there. I actually had

do you know, I had a priest come to watch my stand-up show and we had a coffee afterwards. Do you want me to show you my rosary? Sure, go. Give me a Hail Mary. How does it? that go? God, Catholicism's dumb. Catholicism is right up there with the dumber religions. It's too many hats. Too many hats and beads

and you just go speak to a pedophile. He's not allowed to fuck people. And then they're going to tell you whether you've sinned or not. What a useless fucking religion that is. Listen, you want to have have a go to the Catholics. We're here trying to... What are the Catholics ever done for us?

The end of the world, my friend, because this Christian Zionism that is all about bloodlust in the Middle East. I couldn't have been prouder to be both a Catholic and a new American when I saw Pope Leo, the great Pope Leo, that rebuff this administration. So I thought we'd end at a positive note of our papa talking about the Trump administration and particularly Pete Kegg's breath. Isn't his brother a big Trumper? The Pope's brother? I think you're having family dramas. Listen to the Pope. Okay. Speak out against his brother's kin. Here we go. Let's end on this.

Brothers and sisters, this is our God. Jesus, King of Peace, who rejects war, whom no one can use justify war. He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them, saying, even though you make many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood. I don't think there's anything going to get me in heaven, okay? I think I think I'm not maybe heaven bound. I may be in heaven right now as we fly in Air Force one.

I'm not sure I'm going to be able to make heaven. Why isn't he allowed to do it in English? Why does he have to do it in? Is that, what is that Italian? He's doing it in Italian, yeah. Right, so why does you have to do it in Italian? Well, it definitely sounds more, it definitely sounds more godly. It sounds more popy.

Oh. You know, you're going, hey, I don't like what's going on anything. And, you know, God's all about peace and whatnot. the pope. But he says, because I watched that there, and I remember thinking,

my God, if there is anything to Christianity, watching them pray over Donald Trump as he goes in there to recklessly bomb, I thought, well,

that can't be. Well, that's what Catholic, Catholicism is. It's all Christian stuff. It's all, there's all the same fucking block of the religion.

Because the, because the evangelicals in the United States are looking for the rapture, the end of the world, so that they can get a Messiah back and they you think there's anything different. between anyone who's really into Jesus.

I've never understood the whole thing, right? I don't, even as a little kid, my mother was religious and said she was religious. I never understood. If Jesus died for my sins, why am I not allowed to do fucking sins? It seemed like a pointless endeavor. Everyone said, oh, he died for your sins. All right, then I'm going to have a wank.

You can't do that. Well, do you feel good when you said? No, I don't feel good when you sin? Of course I do. Why do you think we do sins? We don't do sins because they feel bad. We do sins because. No, they feel good.

They feel good in the moment. But then in, yeah, and then, and all of these things add up to people. Envy's not fun. Greed's a lot of fun. It kills people. Greed's one of the good ones. They're going to have to add, they're going to have to add some more deadly sins. Too much TikTok.

Yeah, they're scrolling. Yeah, yeah. That's probably, that's probably envy or lust. Yeah, they're all covered. Glutney. So you don't feel good when you sin? I mean, everyone feels good while they're sitting, but then, you know, what's post-nut clarity, Jim? Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, you say you feel good when you're sin, when you feel good in the moment, but you also wank off to it fucking 20 years later. You keep it in the wank bank, you sin, you keep it back there. You go, I'll remember that. It'll be something I'll think about. The devil has an AMC in your brain. I've been trying to close that thing down. The devil is a projectionist.

my son was funny though this is so American he goes to this local cinema and he goes it's always so good he goes it's the best cinema you guys they've got reclining seats no one's ever there it's like six bucks a ticket it's the best cinema he goes he's talking about one of his friends he goes you want to go that movie sitting he goes uh my mom won't let me go because there's been four shootings there and hank's like that's why it's so cheap there's no one ever there It's really cheap. Which is exactly why I've booked my honeymoon to Dubai. And that is what's happening at this moment, everybody.

Bye-bye.