I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 56 - NASA to Mouth

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

At this moment, Jim and Amos brace for the potential impact of Trump's recent threats. They laugh at Iran's AI Lego videos, Amos gets in trouble with his family with his obsession with generative AI, and Jim thought he lost his vision.Jim's special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix!SOCIALS:Jim JefferiesWebsite: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠Amos GillIG: @abitofamosgillFB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the DoohickeysSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to At This Moment with me, Jim Jeffries. I'm here with Amos Gil and the world is doing fine. Before we start this podcast, you got any gigs coming up, Amos? I am going to be in Key West next week. Come see me Wednesday to Saturday in the Florida Keys. And Jim, you are going to be where? I am going to be in Portland and Seattle this weekend.

And of course, if you live in Australia, we have a full Australian tour coming up and if you live in Germany, there's a big tour going to be happening in Germany soon, something to announce. What are we going to talk about in this podcast? Well, obviously, we have to discuss the end of the world and the destruction of civilization. The Mad King, King Lear, Donald Trump,

completely losing his mind. Will they enact the 25th Amendment on him? Is it just bluster to try and get them to the negotiating table? But more important than that, you and I have had a few personal riffs with our partners. Let's get into that. Important stuff. Hello, is this, if this is, if you're watching this, you have survived the nuclear fallout.

Yes, if you can hear us right now, we are alive. Come and talk to us. Come to our house. I texted you in the group chat, you and Jack, and I said, should we delay? Because at 8 p.m. tonight is when the timer runs out on Trump's nuclear annihilation threat to the civilization of Iran. And Jim said, what deadline? I hadn't seen it yet. That's what I've done with the rest of me day.

Look, I like the element of surprise. I don't want to know that a bomb's going to be dropped. I like to look out the window and see it with my own eyes, you know. Not enough people in this world live in the moment. I live in the moment. I'll tell you who's got the best seats in the house for the end of our world. It's the NASA Artemis crew who are currently going around the moon. That photo from the far side of the moon is one of the one.

the most beautiful pictures you could ever see, just that like of the earth crescenting over the top of the moon. I'm loving the Artemis stuff. I'm loving all the stuff in space. But that's a great movie, right? They come and land back in... That's kind of planet of the apes.

And everyone else is dead. And they're like, huh. There's a woman up there, right? They could reproduce the species. That's where your brain goes to. They're going to be up in the spaceship. They'll look down, they'll see the whole world. blow up and then she'll just, that's the

porno, the beginning of the porno. It used to be, back in the day, Adam and Eve 2. It used to be someone delivering a pizza. Now it's like, we gotta populate the rest of the world. Then they're just like big gangbang, just up in the spaceship.

Well, that seems to be, that's starting to worry me. It's called. That they, that they might have just, they might have sent them there. He missed me joke, Asimuth.

Ars and Mel. Oh, Artemis. I forgot that it's called Artimuth. Yes. The problem is you won't get a baby that way. They're not going to help civilisation with ass and mouth. Do you think these, do they, would they know? They're obviously getting the news.

They're not on Twitter though. Do they know that like they're half a chance of seeing a nuclear fallout? They're talking to people all the time. They get the news. They'd have Wi-Fi up there and all sorts, right? Well, they're not Wi-Fi. They're getting info. I think they do.

They can Google up there, right? They're Googling. I would imagine they've got. other things to focus on. I don't know whether they're refreshing like I am all day. Let's be honest, right? When you look out the window and you see a nice view, it's stunning for about five minutes and then eventually you're going to watch telly. I was going to say you do, you would get used to it and bored very quickly. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, once you've seen it. You particularly would be horrendous. It would be so wasted on you. You know what it is?

You'd look down at the earth and go, I've seen everything, which is literally everything. I've seen everything right now and done. You must, you must feel, when you're up there, though, like the futility of human life, when you see the bullshit that we're going on about down here, you just think, would we go back? You know, when you go and they interview them, and they're up in the space station, the two guys were upright,

and the girls were hanging upside down from their feet because of the anti-gravity, right? And they're being interviewed, and they're all like, and their hair's all flying. It's like, I get it, you're in anti-gravity. You don't have to be upside down. We're not going to be like, whoa, fucking upside-down.

We've seen people in anti-gravity for years, back in the day, there was a porn star in the 90s called Sylvia Saint, who was my go-to. Still a fan. If I want to do a time machine wank, right? Sylvia Saint back in the day. I think she's from the Czech Republic. Anyway. Really?

That's as far back as you go, the early 2000s. You don't go for Amelia Earhart? Amelia Earhart, what, the pilot. I'm pretty sure she was a lesbian, which is always good to watch, but not the... What are you talking about? I don't see Sylvia Sainter's A, like, you can find sexier women throughout history further back. I'm going back 20 years. This is a 20 year, wank.

This is 20 years back in time. That's, that's, they only went back 30 years and back to the future. What's the oldest pornographic material that exists? Oh, paved paintings with the drawings. What? The first thing ever. Anyway, Sylvia Saint, they did a, uh, uh, a. space

porno back in the day. And it was in the, because this is when you had to buy DVDs and I bought it now was a big one because it had the first zero gravity come shot, right? If you're listening

in the kids with your car, in the car with your kids. Anyway, so they do the thing where they dive with the airplane, right? You know the thing where they test,

they dive with the airplane, right? But the dive with the airplane, you've only got 30 seconds. So the idea is that they had to have been a pilot. sitting at the front and he's looking back like this this guy's just wanking furiously in the corner

and then she's just waiting she's just wait and then he's right on I'm close and then bo-down down anyway the world's ending the oldest known pornographic material is considered to be the Venus of Hollifels a six-centre ivory statuette of a female with exaggerated

sexual characteristics dated to 35,000 years ago I thought it was that rock out of Temple of Doom that he was trying to get back. There's a large anal bead. It's like Indiana Jones comes back, goes, I got you this stone that you need. And then just one of them shoves it up to his ass and goes off into a hut.

So, as I do this conversation with you, I do think maybe we're not worth saving as a civilization, but nonetheless. Well, this is the problem. Donald Trump has tweeted out some things. But he's given a deadline. A deadline, which at the moment is two and a half hours away. before an entire civilization will be gone forever.

I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. Don't make me do it. He's done these things with timelines before. If you don't do this by then, if you don't do this by then, I'm going to do ABCD. Well, that's why they call it Taco. Do you know what Taco means?

He's the boy who called Wolf. Taco, what's a Taco? They're calling today Taco Tuesday. Tacco is Trump always chickens out, is what they say. Right. There's market analysts that say every time he threatens the terrorists, for instance, just know it's a taco. Like he will eventually resist.

It'll turn around. and he'll pump the market again, right? But this one here, legitimately making... Is Koushi taking bets on this? They've got to be taking bets on this? Hard to get a payout, though, when we go into a fuller. Do you know what I mean? Like, you can put together a sports bet, multi-bet on the end of the world.

Nothing to really spend your money on, sadly on the payout. Yeah, well, okay, so as I said, the boy that called Wolf, if he doesn't do it, how many times can he do this before people are like this? if you don't do this simply for me, what are you going to do? You're going to blow up the world, are you? You're going, go, go and bomb us. Have a go.

Have a go. Well, right now, they've got, the Iranian people have walking out onto the bridges. And they're linking, linking arms with their children and stuff around facilities and all that type of stuff to actually protect it. To say, bring it. So here's the, here's the tweet. That's one of the things when you turn to your kids and go, don't tell me, I don't take you anywhere. We do things. It is a call for pure, just definitional genocide.

Trump says, a whole civilization will die tonight. Never to be brought back again. I don't want that to happen, but it probably will. However, now that we have a complete and total regime change, which we don't, we have the guy's son, where different, smarter and less radicalized minds prevail, obviously nowhere near less radicalized. You've killed their father, countless others and many children. I'd imagine they're more radicalized.

Which is every origin story of an evil villain. Maybe something revolutionary wonderful can happen. Who knows? We'll find out tonight one of the most important moments in the long and complex history of the world. 47 years of extortion, corruption, death will end God bless the great people. So we finish on God bless the great people. We start with the whole civilization will die tonight. Yeah.

I mean, they need to enact the 25th Amendment. He's obviously, he's sent off J.D. Vance to Hungary. for the Hungarian elections to be with Victor Orban. So he has won what was meant to be an anti-war voice out of the cabinet. God knows where Tulsi is. Is there anyone that can do a 25th? My genuine question to you is, I hear so much talk about, oh, the Democrats, we should have gone with the Democrats.

Where are they? Why aren't they screaming? He's threatening you kill the war. That's the, like, the moral authority of the United States has already lost. Is there anyone? You don't think the Democrats are screaming right now? I see nothing. All the news is, is people going and see and see.

then saying it's wrong. Barack Obama has any, his last tweet was a congratulations to the University of Michigan for their basketball victory. For March madness. He's checked out. He's completely checked out of the game. Bush is painting a bowl of fruit right now.

You know what I mean? Biden basically is a bowl of fruit. He's just, he's just rolling around getting his ass wiped and getting a fucking diaper put on. What's Camelot up to? She says she wants to run again. There's no, seems to be no effective voice right now that's unifying anyone. I mean, Tucker Carlson, whether you're on the left or the right,

seems to the person the anti-war people are getting behind. He seems effective in his communication. I've become a Tucker Carlson fan, but I don't like that he constantly brings up God. Every time he has a conversation, he's just like, well, you know, God is the only person who can create. You can't create. man can't create. Yes, we can.

We create all the fucking time. What are you talking about? I put my dick in something. We're creating content right now. Look at us. That's arguable. Then the question comes to what should we create? This is a Frankenstein of sorts.

This is a lab creation where the plug should be pulled. I don't endorse this. I'm just held to ransom by Squarespace and the ad revenue. We'll get back to it. I want to tell you a couple of private stories that have happened to me of late. I've been sick for the whole week. Super sick. Got on the Tammy flu.

Proper flu. It's a can of a flu. Your joint take, you get the shivers. My whole family went through the whole family. Jack didn't get it. It was pretty, pretty excited for the Jack.

And my wife didn't get it, but everyone else got it. And then I woke up and I was like, and I got in the shower, right? And my vision went. My eyes glazed over, and I had, I have a bench in my shower, I don't mean to brag, but my vision glazed over and I had to sit down and I was just sat on the bench and I was like this, well, I'm blind now. My retinas have detached and this is how my life is going to be.

And then I found out I was still wearing my glasses and they've just fogged over. Again, we'll put you in the Obama bracket. Literally, your glasses have fogged over so you can't see what's happening in the world and that's the way like it. Literal metaphoric. I sat there with my glasses fucked over and going to go, I guess this is how

I'm going to see the world for the rest of my life now. Yeah. And how do you feel now? Because you spoke for me on the phone like you were near death. I was near death. I was like, I sent you a picture.

I looked fucking, they put the picture up of me being nearly dead. I sent you a picture of me nearly being dead. Yeah, it was a fucking shocker. My little four-year-old lost a ton of weight. Look, that guy's... But you were sending that to people who had appointments to

to let them know you weren't lying. Yeah, because I had to cancel a lot of podcasts and stuff, and it's very hard to cancel podcasts with people. This is why I love our podcast, because we don't... You have to keep that on stock. We don't bother other fucking people. We just do it, right? We don't bother anyone else.

It's just me and you, and then we don't... We barely bother the listeners, to be honest. There's a few people that get... a notification. The amount of times I'm backstage at the comedy store and someone just, they're walking towards me and I'm like, oh, fuck, they've got a podcast. I'm going to get a t-shirt that says, don't ask me to do your podcast that I can wear backstage.

And then I'll button a shirt over the top as I do the thing. I'm just going to, I'm going to nip it in the bud because I'm like this, I'm going to be away then. And then you meet these cunts who are like, all right, what about July? July is a busy one. Yeah, that's why. That's why what you're going to do is you're going to say something extremely cancelable so no one can have you on the show anymore. You go, I would, mate, you'll be demonetized if I go on yours.

So after my comments about that community, there's, you won't get any, you won't get any ad revenue. So I'd love to do it. But I'll only get you canceled, you know. You do the Alex Jones thing. Just say something about Sandy Hook and you won't be on anyone's YouTube show ever again. I think Jim actually made up all that stuff about crisis actors because he was antisocial. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah. But then there's the other problem is some podcasts you actually want to do,

and you're in the same room as that person. That person comes up to you and goes, oh, do you want to them a podcast? Yeah, sure, I'd love to do it. And then a comedian you've never met, I do a podcast that's on snacks. Okay. Every comedian comes on and they talk about their face. favorite lunchbox treats.

One of my pet hates in comedy, and this has been going on in the 25, 26 years I've been doing stand-up, 27 years I've been doing stand-up, is when someone decides to reinvent the wheel, and they go, I've got a show, but it's in the dark. I've got a show, but there's words behind you, and they're going to come up. Do you mean for stand-up? Yeah, yeah, for stand-up. I always love that. And it's like, no, man, I've seen your actual act.

Why don't you master that before you have a go at adding degrees of difficulty? Because they're all trying to find their own kill Tony, right? Whatever that is. Right. They're trying to find something that can be marketable, that can be a show. And so the amount of times I've had the amount of time someone has proposed this to me, I've got a new show. And what you do is you say the jokes, right, that you would never normally stand stage. Like your darkest jokes possible.

I hate that. Yeah. And you're like this. I saw all the cancer. stuff because all the stuff that I would never say on stage, there's a reason for that. Because I've got pretty edgy material, right? I'm up there back and being misogynistic. Every time I see one of those people, I'm like, mate, just whisper the N word to me, get it out of you, get it out of your system.

And then move on with your fucking life. I have jokes where I go, and then I punched her in the cunt. And you think there's things that I'm not saying. You think there's routines that I'm holding back for your fucking shitty 50, C-Cena with you and all your mates with your fucking camera phones out of your mind. One of my favorite ever gigs was a guy called Hardcore Damo.

Yeah, we love hardcore Damo. Shout out to hardcore Damo. He's got a cooking show. Hardcore Damo is, he says what he is on the tin. Yeah, he's a guy that's doing hardcore comedy. His name was Damo and lovely fella.

He had this idea for a show because he was too rude for the comedy club that I started with at the Rhiner Room. He wasn't getting booked. So he booked his own. And his little niche was, gilly, come down and do me gig. It's hardcore. I go, what's hardcore?

He goes, I play hardcore pornography behind you on a projector. And then you're just in front of it. That's the background. He's just hardcore gangbang scenes. That way the audience is never distracted. And he was almost on Mastership. Yeah. So you'd just be doing stand up and there'd be a gaping anal scene behind.

you. And I'd be up there like, yeah, I grew up in the country. My dad, we didn't get on that well, you know. And then at the end of the night, he would give out a dildo to the audience member that he said laughed the hardest. Now, this is, this has got to be maybe 15 years ago, 10 years ago or something. I was touring. I was in, I was in Adelaide.

He was from Adelaide, right? Yeah, hardcore demo. And so he goes, oh, you want to go to a strip club? This is, before my son was born. He goes, you want to go to the strip club? And I was like, yeah, sure, we go to the strip club, right? We go down to the strip club. And back then they had a policy like, you know, you had to have dress shoes.

But one of the policies, no tattoos, which is very hard in Australia, because most people have them on their fucking faces these days in Australia. Australia is the most tattooed country on earth. Like, it's very hard to meet someone who doesn't have a tattoo in Australia, very rare, right? Anyway, so he had full sleeves. And so they're like, no, mate, can't go in. You got tattoos. So we went down to the fucking pharmacy.

and he bought bandages and he went in with his arms like he was a mummy. Two bucks had strapped himself. What I loved about this, guys, he loved, he was an intense dude, but at the same time, you'd leave a strip club and he'd come down to be like this.

Mate, do you like antique furniture? Because I'm actually a collector and I'm selling some car of me. And then he would bring you over an upholstered 19th century French lounge and he's like, I also baked a couple of lemon squares.

Yeah, look, and he was a great cook. A true renaissance man. And he had a good heart, I think. I don't know. Maybe. Not physically. I imagine his physical heart was in real damage. I think that would have had scars all over it.

Like, he's one of the, he had a big heart, literally. Yeah. But anyway, shout out the hardcore demo. How you doing, mate? Hope you will. So you were very, very ill. I was very ill. And then I came home.

I came home from some gigs and my wife was doing something very passive aggressive. My wife likes the air conditioning filters change like monthly and I think you meant to do every couple of months and normally I just get Jack to do it or whatever. And so my wife, I walked into the house, I walked up the stairs, I went into the bathroom, I was feeling sick, I did a shit, I came back out and then when I opened the door to the bedroom, the filters were leaning against the door so that they fell down. so it was like do the fucking filters right and then and then underneath the filters this is this was just sitting here i didn't bring it along was this this is this is a little ladder right and uh and and and i went

what what what are we doing and she's just like this oh she goes uh i'm about to change the filters and uh and i go no you're not you want me to change the filters you can't change the filters because that ladder isn't tall enough for me to reach the roof right the roof is fucking 10 feet high. I can't reach it with that fucking thing. And then she goes, oh, well, you know, I thought maybe that you could get it done. And I said, and then she goes, because I can't reach. I go, but I can't reach with that ladder either. I got to, I got to get the big ladder from in the garage. And then we had a huge, fucking massive fight because, because I looked at it and I went, you know what the big ladder is? It's the great fucking equalizer, right? You can't go because

I'm six foot and your fucking five foot that you can't make it to the top. If you get the big fucking ladder, we're all fucking equal and didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. The ladder is the equity movement. Yeah, exactly. It's there to make up the gender differences. Yeah, yeah, you can't. We are truly men and women are the same on a ladder. Yeah, I can't reach the roof.

Both of us can't fucking reach the roof. Both of us can reach the roof with a ladder. It's a fucking great equalizer. And well, then again, I guess she earns all the money that buys the ladder. Exactly. Exactly. My point was, I would have done it, but I just got home. You're fucking, you're putting, like, it's been in your head all weekend while I've been

away. The whole weekend, you could have gotten a ladder and brought it up. You would have been fine to fucking do it. But, no, it didn't happen. How are you in the missus going? Well, you know, if we do go into a full out type world, I don't see. Maybe she's thinking right now. This guy can't replace air filters.

How can we live together in an apocalypse? No, no. If it becomes the apocalypse and I have to. She has to leave you immediately. No, I hope so. I hope so, because my wife will only slow me down the apocalypse. She is a slow-moving human being. If you have to scavenge for food and guns and stuff like that, I'm going to get a more scrappy woman.

My wife's not going to cut it in the apocalypse. Oh, yeah, she won't eat rat meat on grounds of ecanetics. No, no, no. No, she won't do that. She'll be at the fucking the Mad Max markets where everyone's just wearing chain-linked fucking armor and stuff like that and just going, is this organic. Did you get any roadkill from Erdogan?

She'll be used as a fucking shield in the Thunderdome. Well, I was away at a criss- I got some trouble myself over at a christening. Yeah. On Easter Sunday, we had a christening of Anika's brother's son, Theodore, young Teddy. That's nice. And we had a party back at their house. And there was a bunch of other young kids running around. and there was one young man called Lawson

who had a zest for life and an ADD I would say that how old was Lawson? He must be six. Okay. Just a fun age, fun age. Just zipping about the house. And I'd been using Grok

to do a lot of these pictures where I take photos of people and then make adjustments of their look. Right. On the last podcast, I turned myself into a Sri Lankan cricketer. Yeah, yeah. With the selfie.

So I was doing that to the adults in the room. I was a smile. be an old person and then I'd say, do you want to see what you look like if you had enormous boobs and then I would show the old ladies and they'd go, oh, to be an enormous rack that AI has built. There's nothing old women like more than AI big tits. If I know the elderly in their sense of humor, they'd be well up for that. You just give them what they want.

Give them what they want. So anyway, I'm showing this to everybody. The kid's like, what is it? And I'm like, oh, I don't know if I should show him. but he's desperate. He's like, come on, let me see. Let me see. So I start showing him some of the pictures, and he laughs maniacly.

And then he goes, take a photo of Anika and give her a big bum. A huge bum. I said, okay, so here's the photo. You think about us just turning a calculator upside down to see the word boobs. These kids today, the end of the table. So I got that picture of Anika back up again. So this is the standard picture. I just took that of her.

There we are. It looks beautiful. In a christening dress. She looks lovely. Yeah, she tried to steal the thunder of Teddy, I thought. Yeah, why she's showing up in a white dress like the bloody, the baby? A bit weird. So then we go, let's get the bum picture.

And he loves the bum picture. But then it's not enough for a kid. He goes at this, make her have diarrhea. So much diarrhea, like heaps of it. So I go into Grog, give her a big ass and diarrhea. Okay. Yeah, good, good, good, guys. Good, good, good.

Yeah. Very high up, ain't. It's like the anus is in the nape of the back. It's, it's, I don't, how did the shit go upwards? Is she, do she, dangling from her legs as she had the diarrhea and we've just put her back upright? Fun. Still, still great legs.

They never went to her thighs. Never went to a thighs. Just her ass. Just imagine being six and having the power to go like, you know how we guys, you're a poo-poo head to actually be able to make someone a poo-poo head. That's all my four-year-old does. My four-year-old likes when I do the, like, the phone calls, and I put the emoji over my face of the shit. And I go, hey, how are you going?

So this is crack cocaine to a child. Of course. Comedically. It's all you've been doing for two weeks. I know, 100%. I don't want to put this kid's face in there. You know these children are what they're into. I don't want to show this kid because he's not my kid.

You know, but I'll just show you like, this is me showing him. Look. Right, yeah, yeah, someone who's not your kid, a child you've just met going, do you want more shit on the lady? So now, yeah, so now the parents are a bit like, he's a bit young. Yeah, he's a bit young. Now he's like this. Now put Taco Bell in her hand.

It's like she's holding Taco Bell. And now make the, make the poo come out of her mouth. You've got to give it up for the six-year-old to know that Taco Bell makes you shit yourself. Well, this is what I was thinking like. What happened to Taco Bell? Have you ever had a Taco Bell bad shit from Taco Bell? No, but obviously his mum and dad have. The problem with Taco Bell is you get the bad shit

because it's always in conjunction with drinking. Like the very little Taco Bell is eaten sober. Very little, unless they become a sponsor. Okay. So anyway, he gets the phone out of my hand. The new CrunchRap Chicken Supreme. They've got chicken nuggets in a crunch wrap. Like, fucking got to give it up for them.

They're slider size, Jack. Yeah, I know. The adverts just come out. You get to pick your sauce. Yeah, yeah. Your fried chicken crunch rap supreme. God, end us all now. You and the fucking fast food, I tell you.

I like two types of food. I like fine dining and complete shit and nothing in between. So the next thing that he does, okay, is he takes the phone off me and he wants to give the dog. He makes the dog look double the size. and have two bums. And all the adults are like, what's happening over there? He's laughing like a lunatic. But then he takes them and he goes up to his mum and says,

look, look at the boobs he gave Caroline. Oh, look at the boobs he gave Caroline. Especially your fucking sister-in-law, bro. Like, imagine if Caroline, imagine if Caroline fucking was with her husband or a boyfriend or whatever, and she went, I've made a picture with Amos with a massive whopping cock. This is, okay. So this is what happened is everyone went, you're in the wrong here.

There's no like, I was just having a bit of fun and the whole situation's been misunderstood. You're so far in the wrong right now. At a christening on Easter Sunday. On Easter fucking Sunday. Yeah. All right, Tucker. All right. So now all the adults are like, what's he been showing you?

And he's like this. He's giving all the girls big bums. And then I said give her, I said give Caroline big boobies too and he did it. So now I'm like, look, he wanted it. I personally,

I was changing people into Sri Lankans and Indians. He wanted the booze. Which isn't better. He's arguably worse. Well, this is the thing. Then his mum goes, have you been making my son,

turn people into like dark skin. And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you've got to see it. And she goes, no, no, he's going to go to school and be telling people, I've got a friend and he can give any girl big boobs. He can make me have brown skin. She's like, you're teaching my son to do blackface on other kids. She's like, this is not nice. This is not right.

And I have to then go up to the kid and go, this isn't funny, actually. He doesn't believe me. He would have gone back to school yesterday. Today's Tuesday. Spring break ended yesterday, right, back at school. You might be getting a phone call any second. Well, as we left, they said... You better hope they drop a bomb and I run to take a bit of heat off you.

Yeah, but the question is, have you ever in your life seen a dog that has two bums? I mean, come on, he loved that stuff. It's not It's this One's for shitting One's for fucking What are we talking about? Okay

And then he goes Make your wife ugly And I just wrote Make Anika homeless Ah she looks very pretty there She looks like My Fair Like Eliza do little

At the beginning of the film Yeah And then it was also Make Asia room somewhere And then it was Make Johannes Chinese Oh he's a good looking Chinese man He is

And obviously he's better looking, he's better looking Chinese and he is as a white guy. So the question is, is this wrong? Well, according to grok. Yes. 100%. This is not your job. If you did it with my son, who you know substantially better than this boy, Lawson, right? You know substantially better.

I would have, I'm Jim Jeffries. And I would say, no, no, no, no, no, not in this house. No, no, no, no, not with the four-year-old. No, no, no, no, no. No, you're in the wrong, completely in the wrong. Yeah, well, it's definitely, it was awkward to go up to Caroline and be like, just so you know, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, myself want the big boobs on you. That was the kids, you'd get the big boobs. You walk past Amos and the kid later and I go, I'll, I'll show you how to lay down a parlay.

Who you got, who you got for March Madness? Put your bracket together. What pocket money? Give it to me, give it to me, give it me. So I'm now the untrustful one with the, it's the first time really that they've gone. What relation is? None.

Family. Just friends of Anika's family. Oh, then you could show him whatever you wanted. If he's not blood, what is this woman complaining about? She can write it off as a crazy man at a party. And it was, dude, there's nothing like getting laughs out of a kid, though. It was the most, and I was starting to run out. I know.

I do this podcast regularly. I was running out of extreme. things because once you've done like give your own mother huge boobs and an ass with taco belpoo coming out of it where do you go next here's mother teresa with big tits into swastika tattooed on a forehead with diarrhea and two arces yeah and then i made him into a girl she was from calcutta i made him into a little girl and he didn't uh he didn't like that one actually that bothered him when it was back on his foot oh i bet you the dad was like uh thanks for doing No, no.

No, we're just sure we checked that. He wasn't happy. Repeat? He wasn't happy about that? Probably a good thing, though. If you are thinking of, like, transitioning, take a grok photo of yourself and say, make me a woman and just see what you're going to look like. Yeah, but they make you a pretty version.

So they did like, they did like all the NBA stars as women, right? And Yokic still not very good looking, but Shay Gilges, Alexander. Oh, my. You would all day as a woman. You bloody beautiful woman. Could you imagine, though, what, with this technology? Yes. What I would have done.

It's ruined things. It's ruined. My son watched car fails for about three hours the other day, right? Where each thing is something like a car slides down an icy ravine or those stuff. And it is fun because they never show anyone dying, right? It's just fucking trucks jackknifing and, you know what I mean? And then I thought, we're going to lose this. We're going to lose this because now everything's AI.

You don't know what's real and what's not real. And so even with CGI back in movies, we started watching CGI things, and then it was like, there's no peril. That's why that Indiana Jones and the Crystal skull didn't work out because all the ants crawled all over them and covered an ants. Who gives a fuck? But in the early Indiana Joneses, they were real snakes, they were real rats, they were real cockroaches covering them. Right? Once we take away the, if that was a true photo of a woman with two asses covered in diarrhea, it would be one of the most famous photos on her. Everyone would be like, have you seen it?

Have you seen it? I know, it was a quick thrill. Now we can't watch it. Yeah, it's a quick thrill, right? It's like... But I remember thinking I'm burning out this poor lad's like comedy circuitry brand because like you could never find it. The ability, think about this, it's your older sister and she's being a bitch to you

and you're like, really? Or do you want to make my sister look enormously obese? Because that was what he wanted to do to me all the time was make Amos look obese. He loved that one. Right, right, right. And so you can just bully someone like that. like that. Look at that.

To you was a big fat fuck. To be fair, what you're saying is, it's very good for bullying, and that's why we should keep it doing. Oh, I didn't know you were using it to bully others. Oh, okay, good, good, good, good.

We don't even need stand-up comedians anymore. Just crowd work. Just take photos of that cunt, and then just a screen behind you. That's what you'd look like with big tits, you're fucking idiot. That's what I'm saying, man. It's like...

These are some of the ones that he did of me. Amos smells. Amos smells. That's not that bad. That just looks like you're from the set of Les Mis. Yeah, I'm trying to find it with one of me as a big giant fat fuck. Anyway, my point being, I'm in some trouble with the family. That's six months ago you were wearing a bit more.

You got on those photos. Or a year in the future. Yeah, it is an interesting one, though. It's a very good. You should, everyone should take that. Do a selfie of yourself and go, make this man morbidly obese. And then look at it and it really does help you stay on the diet to see what it could be like. Right.

But that's... Like, I'm going to do it of you right now. Wouldn't it be better to look, wouldn't it be better to look at yourself really thin so you could picture what you're going to be? No, that's a carrot and stick. You need both, don't you? Jack says you've got to do both. Yeah. Give me five more pounds.

Oh, that's no good. Five more. I'm doing this one of you. Make this man obese. Okay, this is a photo of you that you sent me. I'll look like Carolyn Nugent. I know the picture. I know the picture.

My mother used to look like an egg. Okay. Sheesh. Yeah. I've got a bit of Ricky Jervais about me there. Honestly, you don't know. I need comedians. I'm so sad that I'm such a hater of AI,

and yet I just look at you as a big fat man. This is if you kept selling car phones instead of stand-up. Yeah, look, that's, it's not far. That's not far. That's not far. No, they're confess. Is that a photo of me right now? I've got a mustache right now.

That was a photo from when we're in the Czech Republic. Oh, oh. But I can transition here on a couple of topics. Number one, if you want to read anything, we're not going to do the story because it's beyond us. But Ronan Farrow, who is, if he comes after you, you better pray. But he's come after Sam Altman today in the New Yorker saying that Sam Altman is essentially a sociopath and he's written a big hit piece about the man who controls our future with Open AI, Sam Altman. Is that Roman's job is just fucking bringing people down?

that's he just he goes away he picks a target he absolutely annihilates them doesn't he yeah yeah but i think sam oatman is um i don't really know who sam altman is explained to me sam o't is that is the is CEO of open ai which is you know probably the biggest AI company going in i don't use i i i've never used chat gbt or anything oh yeah you know i don't like that sam Potman may control our future, but can he be trusted, new interviews and closely guarded documents shed light on the persistent doubts about the head of open AI. So there's two kinds of AI. There's the AI we're talking about here, which is replacing all of our jobs around the world. And essentially...

I'm evidently comedy. You're all fucking trying to replace our job with AI. That's what I'm saying. You know, I used to fucking... I used to fucking with kids at parties, got your nose. Now I actually show a photo of you without a nose. This is what I mean. Imagination is lost.

It's like now you can go make him look like Voldemort. Exactly. Even with the porn, it's like a bigger boost. This thing. This thing. This thing. This thing. And an unrealistic cock in the fucking picture.

I don't know. You're ruining everyone's brains. The theater of the mind. No, that's what I felt like. I was actually reflecting on myself going, oh my God. This is everything that I despise in the world. I didn't engage in any conversation. I just sat there like a full autist going, make fat.

Bigger. Uglier. chin, make boogies come out of nose, poo. At a christening. At a christening. The antichrist is upon us. Thanks, thank God the baby was christened.

If it died and gone to hell, it saw your fucking images. So, some other stories that we were, we decided we'll go to steer clear of the impending doom for as much as we could. Two more hours, two more hours. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Well, you joke, but Israeli TV is running this on their NBC equivalent. Check this out.

This is the way that they're doing the story. Jack? Shorn. Deadline. It's a affair. Lehore. Ollay, moufflett.

You know how I feel about people not speaking English? Like, I've done gigs in Israel. English is far better than that's not a good one. Not a good one. Out of all the languages.

Too much phlegm. Yeah. So you'll say, while they use our weapons, you speak. language. Exactly. Why? If we fund it, you make the threats in English at the minimum. Yeah, like they put the numbers up in English, didn't they? At the bottom, those numbers were in English. They didn't use their own numbers. Well, they're Arabic, but they wouldn't admit to that.

Now, to threaten the Arabs with their own numerology. Wow. Terrible. Let's go to the next one. I want to talk a little bit about the way that Iran is winning. I thought I was just doing a silly joke about numbers, but Amos had to make it racist. I thought I was defending the Arabs there, Jim. Now, what I want to talk about is Iran's fight back, even though... I just feel sorry for any misplaced people in the world. That's my policy in the world now. Don't misplace any more people.

Well, I mean, listen... They're also Persians, not Arabs, so really, you were right, actually. Oh, yeah, and also, also... Yeah, I like a rug. Now, what I want to tell you is about the Lego propaganda war. I don't think you've been following this. So at the beginning, we were getting letters. Because I have children who actually like Lego.

I've got a lot of questions for you. Here we go. There we are. That's floating. So Iran's gotten really good at explaining the situation to Americans. At first, they would have their Prime Minister post onto Twitter, like a picture of five different texts. which would be a message to the American people.

No one's going to read that, bro. The attention span of the United States, very, very small. And so they've decided to up the stakes with their propaganda videos, and they're now using mini AI-generated Lego movie videos. Wait a minute. Start again. Did you just say Lego? Yeah, Lego.

Did you just call it Lego? Don't let a day go without Lego. Don't let a day go without Lego. Lego. Lego, yeah. You say, you can call it Lego. Lego. Lego, yeah. Lego. Lego. Jack?

Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Legos is like a place, right? Right. I want to show you a few of these because I knew you wouldn't have watched them. I can't let this go. You've been calling it Lego your whole life? Yeah. Are you a simpleton? You go, let's take the kids down to Legoland. Yeah, Legoland.

No, you can't. You can't. It's called Lego. It's leg. Say the word leg. You don't go. Lag. Say leg. Leg. Leg.

Leg. Yeah, there you go. How do you go? It's Danish. It's good. It's Danish. It means play. Let's play fun or something.

Play well. Yeah. It's Danish, yeah. Lego. My father says the word bag, bag, bag. Like that, bag. Bague. So he might say Lego. You just got the pronunciation.

You were fucking, you, you, you wanted, you thought you'd come out the other end of this argument with the pronunciation and you'd go, and they'd go, Lego. There's no fucking A in it. It's an E. It's leg. I just don't know if there's other people making this mistake. Three lagged race. Does anyone say Lego?

No one says Lego. You're the only person You can't go Australia Okay, I've just Hold on, I've just searched it And this is what it comes back with Are you ready?

Yeah Yes Lego Amos Is a pronunciation primarily used by the people in South Australia And South Australia only

While most of Australia uses the word Lego pronounced leg and O South Australians often use Lay the vowel sound With some debate

over whether it is a unique regional accent Bullshy, you are making this up right now. You're saying the people of Adelaide, the people of South Australia only in the whole country say Lego. Yeah, we say dance. No, no, no, no, no, I don't care about other words. I'm sending it to you right now.

This is how I was told to say it as a kid. You're the only fucking city in the world that has a half-hour time zone. Everyone else has full hour time zones, and you say Lego. Fuck, Adelaide. Come on. We're very uniqua. Oh, God. Okay.

Yes, Lego pronounce lay, L-A-Y-G-O is the common pronunciation primarily used by people in South Australia. What was the search? I'm going to search it on my Google. Does anyone say Lego? Does anyone say Lego? They've probably been listening. I thought, I can't get over this. This is as simple to it as.

I can fucking. It's only people at Adelaide. You can't have a Lego land. They can never build one there. If they build one, and then they'll have to spell it, L-A-Y-G-O-Land. I think we're actually getting one.

Yeah, you better not, if you pronounce it, Lego. No, it was Disneyland that you might be getting it. You're going to get some Lego for Christmas. You want to have some Lego? There's Star Wars Lego. There's Bluey Lego. All the Legos.

fucking simpleton. How do the Danish say Lego? Lego. They say legal. Some Americans say Lego. Reddit is arguing constantly about. Okay. Well, that's not the point.

Okay, the point is, is that the Iranians, for instance, this rescue mission... The Australian say Nike. We put the E on the end. We don't say Nike. We go Nike. I say Nike. Oh no, we say Nike. We say Nike.

And then I go, my big argument is you say bike, not bikey, but Australians do say bikey. Anyway, go on, Lego. Okay, so Jack, I want you to play one of the... So if you get laid, if you're fucking someone, you go, I got laid last night, you go, I got legged last night because it goes the opposite way. I got leg. Leg. I got leg. I got laid.

Yeah, you get the leg over. That's what we actually do say, I threw the leg over. Lego. Does your dad say that? Throw the leg over? No, my dad, bloody, no, no. No, no, he doesn't say that. Okay, so.

He calls a bag a port. He calls his suitcase a port. Well, they're a porter at the hotel, aren't they? Maybe you packed your port. It's a Queensland thing for old Queenslanders. Have you packed your port? I've got me port. It's a portable.

thing. You carry it around. So here is the Iranian take on the rescue mission, which there's much conjecture on whether it was actually a seal team mission to go into Isfahan and take out the uranium. Here's how the Iranians are telling the Americans on how the mission went. Lego! But it was a heist. Uranium heist. Try to steal our uranium in the dead of night. Just black hawks in the fight failed miserably Just like tabas right They flew deep into ice for and thought we wouldn't see

Special forces Excavators trying to take our enriched uranium for free Attacked our defenses try to seize the ground But we lit them up Now the birds are down See one tough be gone black hawks burning in the sand 600 million wasted on the failed master plan They called it a rescue

But the world knows the truth They came for our uranium That's the real proof We said it clear this wasn't random at all they wanted our nuclear material that was the goal deep into our territory under constant threat but they got exposed now the whole world sees their regret fell like tabas history repeating again superpower embarrassed losing more than just men you try to rob us in the middle of the war now you're under scared we laugh from a far sacred defense

uranium safe stop running away keep your boots on the ground Yeah. So did AI just write this song? Did AI just create that song? I don't know where it's coming from, but they say these are like various agents of the Iranian regime make these Lego movies. Because that's as good a song, a rap song as you can do, right? As the Iranian beat in the back and everything, that song slapped. Well, I'll show up for that.

I'll say another one. If that was playing the club, the Nicaranium, do you'd fucking, you'd pop to that, man. Well, this is the problem that Russia's having is they keep trying to engage us with, you know, tweets and letters and speeches. The Lego AI, I know everything that happened now. Now that's, that'll stay with me. This is why we are in an idiocracy is because they're making a, they've done better at attacking Pete Hegseth than the Dems did when he was being confirmed. Watch, watch their burn on Pete Hegseth. This one specially for you

You punk-ass rapist bitch Straight from Iran It's very At the end of the end of it With that cafe ink on your arm Think you will crusader Nah, just a drunk and fidel In a fake uniform

Chan to kill all Muslims Wasted in a hotel lobby Sexual assault settlement in Monterey Block the door Took a phone, paid her off quiet Cause Me Too was on How you secretary? What a joke bro

Cheated on wives, multiple affairs Kids in the mix family man Hell no Hansie with women at Fox drunk on the job Your own team say yo This dude toxic Couldn't even guard Biden's inauguration Your own military set

Next book called American crusade Dreaming a shitty Kiss the ring But wait Funny part's every gig Cute Rookie mistake Anyway

Okay so is this a real artist seeing it Because it's very Eminem-esque I think it's just AI derived right See, this is the problem, man. I think they write the lyrics. No, I think the AI has done it from top to bottom. I think they put in the filter, we want this, mention, this mention, this mention, this mention, this mention.

And then off it goes. Oh, fuck, we're fucked. That is basically diplomacy at this point, and the info war is cartoons. Because the Iranians, the Persians are, the Persians are smart people, right? And they go, well, how can we win over the Americans and get them against their government? And they go, cartoons of... Lego. Not Lego. Lego.

Even they would say it correctly, Lego. Lego. What do you think? You haven't seen them before? No, I don't. I don't indulge the AI. If the AI is out there, I don't watch it because I want to be, I'm an analog guy.

I want to be one of the last people that goes, no, I just created it and didn't deal with the AI. I don't put anything about myself in the AI. I don't ask the AI questions. I've never chatted to the AI. I don't, I've never made. the AI write something for me, like a, you know, like a bio or anything like that. But that, so that thing that they're talking about, the rescue mission, okay? Obviously, Trump could have come out and just taken the win on that before he went into

the genocidal talk. But when that was happening, there was a lot of discussion online. I don't know if you were watching any of it over the weekend that it was a mission potentially while that, in fact, Rob O'Neill alluded to that on the Pierce Morgan show even saying if it was a rescue mission, we brought in what four hell? helicopters, two C-130 transports, of which they had to blow up because they got bogged in the sand. They built a temporary run right. If you were just rescuing a pilot, you'd probably just fly in and pick him up and get out of there,

right? None of it seems to really add up. It seems like there's a lot of lies going on. No. When did this happen? But Trump has been talking to the people. Put up the clip of Donald Trump talking at Easter, Jack. Was this with the bunny?

because that was the most dystopian hell I've ever seen. Do you see that one? I don't think it gets much more hostile than Iran. The capable fighters, they're very tough people. And there are others like that. You don't mind when the enemy is weak,

but that enemy is strong. Not so strong like they were about a month ago. I can tell you, in fact, right now they're not too strong at all, in my opinion, but we're soon going to find out, aren't we? The thing is, the way the rabbit's moving, right? It's obviously there's a woman in there, like someone who's five foot tall that's inside the thing and she's just like this oh no the shuffling in the feet just like i don't want to be here like there also the amazing

thing put the picture back up again the amazing thing just just a picture of it we don't need to actually see him talk the the mate the oh you can't just have it still okay so the the main thing is the the the Easter bunny and Donald Trump have exactly the same coloring like like their skin tone they could swap it out from each other other. They could be siblings. Could you imagine somewhere 300 feet underground in a reinforced bunker, the Ayatollah and the Kud's Force generals watching that video?

If humanity gets all blown up and then we go back to planet the apes and everyone just everyone's just feral and that type of stuff and then humanity rises back up through thousands of years of evolution and all that type of stuff. then we find that footage, we can't think that. We think that's from a comedy show, right? You wouldn't be, you wouldn't go. Or this was the big, this was the big moment the world blew up. There seemed to be some strange, enormous bunny-like species that was obviously exerting dominance at the end.

Planet of the rabbits. A rabbit. And it happened quickly because they fucked like. We're not, we're just not, this is the thing. When I take a step back, I've moved. to America. I love America. I love so much about America. And I look at the last couple of weeks, even.

And I think we have an administration right now making genocidal threats about ending civilizations, while at the same time, the ex-Dapment of Homeland Security Chief, Christy Names, husband sticking balloons up his chest, going on to cam girls and telling them to fucking talk dirty about his enormous tits. How did they get that? What joke? Who leaked that footage? Was that off his own phone?

Here we go. Model was paid $25 a minute to talk dirty with Christy Dome's cross-dressing husband. Lydia Love, a webcam model for the chat site, Cam Soda tells the times that Nome's husband liked to perform for her during intimate video sessions. But surely he's... There's nothing illegal about that.

Surely he's allowed to do that. Surely she should fucking keep her mouth show. Isn't that the fucking negotiation? Like I'm having a wank. bastard be wearing fake tits. Like, I don't want to be on his side, but it's like, why do we ever look at these people and go, there's still privacy in this fucking world? Why is she reporting that? And if there's any photos of me with great big tits coming out, that's the line I'm going to stay with. The website claimed Byron had chatted online with

women who were part of the bimboification scene. A role-playing kink centered around exaggerated hypersexual femininity. The photograph, sent a shockwave around Washington in the coming weeks after the firing of Christie's Homeland Security Chief. President Trump addressed the furor on Wednesday telling reporters, I don't know anything about it. That's too bad. And I just know nothing about it.

And then the next day you're just up with a rabbit. I'm sure they're great tits. Great, great big tits. I'd grab those big titties. But they're not even, they don't belong to a man. They're fake, but not the good fake, not the fake we like, right? They're balloons, which is very deceptive. And we're going to get rid of that in the women's bathrooms.

You can't have big balloon tits. Yeah, you're fucking, you fucking, you, you're fucking, you mean you haven't trimmed your pubs, bang. It would frighten you, bang. Your pubs just stand up to attention like that. The static. We keep saying we're in an energy crudus. No, we need Christenheim's husband to titty fuck his own balloon tits. And with that, he can get enough static force to power a city.

Send him to one of those fucking science museums that the kids like going to. Or to Amos at Christening. So this is what we've got. This is who we're dealing with right now. You look at this administration of which so much of it I remember thinking, I don't be all right. And I go, we've got Christy Dome's husband with balloon tits. And we have Donald Trump now say all of civilization will die tonight.

Could it be worse? I can't imagine a way that it could have gone worse than where it's gone. All right. So let's end the podcast, but let's give final predictions on what's going to happen in two hours. And let's see if we are right. what is your prediction for 5pm, West Coast, 8 p.m., east coast. I don't know what time is it on Iran when it's going to happen? What time are they going to?

It must be middle of the night, early morning. Yeah, is it going to be a nighttime thing? Yeah, you don't want to stand on a bridge with your kids in the middle of the night. Everyone's got to get to bed. I'm going to... Is it like New Year's where you're like, I'll see it in the morning. Don't worry about it. I'll watch it on the telly in the morning.

Just go to sleep. That's what I would do if I was there. There's no point just staring at the sky. Yeah, actually, why can't he just do an early one for the kids? There's going to be a 5 o'clock show. There's going to be an 8 o'clock show at a midnight show for the Ravers. Yeah, okay, I'm going to assume that because they have been bombing already. They've started bombing bridges and whatnot.

And then I have to hope and pray that he does not use a nuke. But maybe under the cover of this, Karg Island is invaded by the morning. I don't believe there'll be a nuke. I believe there'll be a lot of bombing over the night, and then he will go like this. I spared them. It could have been worse. It could have been worse.

You'll do a bit of that. And it will be worse. They were telling me that I should, they said, sir, now is the chance to strike. And I said, no. I said, we're going to give him one last chance. He's going to go on about how nice he is and how he actually believes that, yeah, he's going to give him one more chance and then nothing's going to happen. And now we're going to have boots on the ground because he gave them the one more chance.

Boots on the ground will be going in the next two weeks. And then that's that. I think the only hope we have is that Gianni Infantino, the president of FIFA, makes a call and says, we will take that award off you if you do it. You know what I was just thinking of? You know what I was just thinking of the other day about Luigi? Luigi's in prison right now going, fucking, I'm getting no attention. I remember Luigi and everything.

he did when he was the biggest story you could be Luigi now and no one would even fucking know you've been Luigi.