I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 64 - Amos Hates Florida

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

At this moment, Jim and Amos talk about Amos' new found hatred for Florida after a recent horrible run-in with a tow truck driver. They also discuss the lore of Solvol soap, Amos' weird toe, and Jim swearing at emergency operators.SOCIALS:Jim JefferiesWebsite: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠Amos GillIG: @abitofamosgillFB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the DoohickeysSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Then I said to him, I think I would respect you more if you were a fucking pedophile. You know what he does? He literally goes, he's obviously laughing. He says to people in the show, yo, this guy says he would rather if we were pedophiles. When I hear it back to my own ears, I'm like, ah, it's fucking absurd for me. Gide, pie lovers, it's time again. Welcome to at this moment. It's the, I've got World Cup fever.

Have you got a fever? It just fully hit me then. We're going to both games. Well, two of the three group games for Australia. I just bought my tickets to Croatia versus Panama in Toronto. So I've got another match to go and see. That's a good one. I've got my two countries here I'm repping.

And it was funny, I just got the tickets off one of those repost websites. What do you reckon I paid for Croatia versus Panama in Toronto per ticket? Croatia versus Panama. Category three. So that's up in the top there. Yeah, in the Croatian fan section. $150. Oh, no.

No, it was $1,200 for the two tickets. Well, $600 a piece. $600 a piece because there's a lot of Croats. It's more expensive for Croatia than Australia v. Turkey. Oh, yeah, she's expensive. And I bought them online. And then a random guy called Lucas followed me online with like 12 followers. And this is the man I must have bought the ticket off.

And he says, no problem. Enjoy. cheer them to victory for me, send pictures from the seats. And then he says to me, hey, you want tickets to the other games? I can sell to you away from the, away from the, uh, away from Villagogo or he, he's decided not to go, and he's just some fellow's like, I wanted to go, but you know, I've said some questionable things about Trump, I don't sure if I can get in. Well, I was listening to people discuss this.

Okay, so Bosnia Herzegovina. One of my favorite models. Well, the average wage is 900 a month. Yes. And if they were to come and get a ticket, some of their games are going for five, six hundred a ticket as well, right? If you think about return flights accommodation in one game, we're talking four months or five months salary for fans from Bosnia to get over here

and watch the games. So it's an extraordinary outlay. And even for someone like myself, I'm doing fine. I'm not doing amazingly. And I do have to. I love the Croatian national team. I love the Socceroos. It's a big outlay for ordinary people.

No, no, no. Look, it's only every four years. It's not the end of the world. But look, I'm very excited. I've always said my favorite memory, one of the top five memories of my life is watching Australia versus Croatia with my father. It was one of the top five in my whole life. So I hope my son gets something from it. When I went to the World Cup in 2006, this is a jersey from a couple of years ago.

Obviously, I've gotten a bit bigger or it shrunk or something since then. I've got a new jersey for this, this one. I get a jersey each World Cup. But my one that I went to in 2006, and my dad wouldn't let me buy another one because you've got a perfectly good bloody jersey there. My mother bought some knockoff one for me as a gift before I went to the World Cup.

And it had the badge and everything, but it was the Brazil's jersey, and they just swapped the badges out and knockoff. I remember Australia always does a little rebadging like that when you get them online. Yeah, yeah. Because they print more Brazilian shirts in the world than they do soccer.

is one, so they just change badge. They just changed badge. But here's the problem is the gold and the yellow of Brazil, because Australia wears gold and the Brazil wear yellow, right, it's a slightly different, it's a different hue. It's not the same one. So I went and saw Australia versus Brazil wearing a Brazil jersey with an Australian badge on it because my dad wouldn't let me change it. You're bloody throwing money down the, as I bought him, he's fucking tickets and flights and all that

type of stuff. With a Colombian hat and Ecuadorian socks. Anyone in yellow? I'm very, I'm very excited. I'm going with my brother. I'm going with me, brother. Let's go.

Let's go. I turn to Croatia. No, to the Croatia game. Yeah. So my brother's getting married in July and. He lives up in Canada, of course. He lives in Canada. He didn't want to have a bachelor party.

So my treat to him is his best man. As I said, I'll take you over to the, we'll just go to this game together. And he's like, oh, it's a bit expensive. And I said, mate, you're about to be married. I'm about to be married. Before you know, we're in our 40s, we have kids or something. This is it. Like, this is the last hurrah to go and do something like this where we're not dads.

So, get it. Wait, I'm going. I'm a dad. I'm almost 50. Why can't you do it then? You think life's over at 40, do you? That's the, well, listen, it depends on your wife. It's more of an indictment on the wife.

I was watching, okay, so, so we'll get into predictions in a second, but I was watching. the Knicks versus the Spurs. And is there anything better than, okay, so I'm watching like Chris Rock sitting on the sideline there and then his misses his sitting next to her on the, you know, court side. Those courtside tickets were going for like 36 down or something.

So I want to spend a million dollars for two tickets, right, to watch them bloody lose. What is it with women? They don't want to go to sport. They don't want to go to sport. They don't want to go to sport. Oh, the biggest sporting event ever. I want to see it.

I want to see it. You didn't want to see it all fucking year. Now that the tickets is a quarter of a million dollars, I have to sit next to you. When you really just want your friend with you. Wouldn't it be amazing if a team just went, they just locked out the seats and said, nah, we're only giving these to die hard. You have to have attended a certain amount of regular season games. Right.

Yourself. You have to be able to answer a few questions. Like, who plays in the midfield? Who's the center? Who's the, who's the, what? There used to be a game when I was a kid. Hot checks, like the citizenship test, but it's the Nix test that they go at the gate, randomly selected. Give me the starting lineup.

Who is Patrick Ewing? Pick him out of one of these photos. Just keep it fair. That's a mom, Darnie, he's already a populace. If Mum Darnie said that. There was a video game when I was a kid called Leisure Suit Larry, and it was the closest we could get to pornography on a computer. Right? That was really... This is just a guy, the mission was you pick up a girl in a cocktail bar and roto?

Yep, that was the whole thing. Dirty Sims, basically? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the Sims, they just did that as a regular thing. They just went back and humped each other. But leisure suit, Larry, so leisure suit Larry, he used to go in, you'd go in the room. You'd have to find a condom because if you fucked without a condom, you would just die. That was the whole thing.

It's an addictist game, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, your character put his dick in there, he died, and then you have to start the game again. I've made a mistake, right? So you find the woman in the bar, you take her upstairs, there's a bed, you've got to turn on some music to get her in the mood and all that type of stuff. Anyway, to get into the game, leisure suit, Larry, and there was about seven, but this is the original one. To get into the game, they asked a few questions that only adults could get. You know, so it's like, it's like, who was the president during the Colombian missile crisis or the Cuban missile crisis, right? Yes.

Whose eyebrows are these? It's just Brezhneves. Yeah. And you're like this. like, oh, Reagan, don't. Oh, no, I've been locked out for an hour. That was like, well, that was like the original, uh, I detect the bikes in each of these photographs.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it was like, but then you always had a mate who was like, I've written down all the answers to all the different questions. I'll get you in there. It'll be okay. So predictions, we have a pool for Australia. We have Australia. I want to do this for you.

Give me a talk. Give me the, okay. We spoke about this on the phone. Uh-huh. Let's go in order of who we want to win where our heart goes down a list, at least five, okay? Okay, so this is how I support football. Australia, number one, socceroos. That's who I want to have win.

Then I go down to it now because I'm a citizen. I've got to go for the USA, right? Even though I'd rather England win, but I have to support the USA because this is my home, right? I'd rather England win because I know how much it means to the Brits. It really fucking means something to English people to win the actual World Cup, right? It's all they care about. And I'm here living in America. Have you seen one car drive down the street with those little flags hanging out the window,

USA, USA, the soccer? I haven't seen a jersey in L.A. We're four days out from the World Cup, three days out from the World Cup. Have you seen a jersey? I was just in Miami, so there was a little bit. going there. You know, obviously the Latino community is where you want to be if you want to be around any enthusiasm for World Cup in the United States.

Yeah, but American jerseys. Oh, no, no, not many Americans. It's a good one this year, actually. Good kit. The American kit. Yeah. Not bad. Waving flag effect. And they have a good team. And once I was, so, so. Oh, I want to wipe them off the fucking park. This is the problem.

I want Australia to kick. Because all those people, that, that red-headed cunt, who always does the commentary, is just like, this is an easy pass. That guy was a fucking nobody in soccer, but he does a commentary. Alexi La Leyes, yeah, Alexei Layers, that cunt. Loudmouth fuck. I want to shut that fucker up completely.

Oh, this is, this is, oh, this is going to be, this is a layup. Did you see, did you see Schwarzen talking to that guy? Stop using basketball fucking references, you cunts. Yeah, at the least they could say is it's an empty net. It's a tap-in. Yeah, yeah, it's a tap-in. Yeah, it's an open net. Open header.

Give you something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's going to be, hey, if we, if we lost to Australia, that'd be a tech foul. Let's be a flagrant loss on our behalf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And even, and now it's in America, we have hydration breaks in the World Cup. They've figured out a way to have timeouts. That's always been the problem with American sports is they can't just let a clock run.

They can't do it. It's not in them to let a clock run. They have to, oh, oh, oh, time out, time out, like that, right? That being said, have you seen the British people trying to adapt thus far? I've been seeing some training camp photos. The Brits might need those breaks on the field. What are they a bit fat? No, no, just the players.

Their faces look completely fucking washed out. And that's why there's a stat for you. In any time there's been a World Cup in North America, a South American team has won every single time. That is their advantage is they are going to handle the heat. And in some cases, humidity and altitude down there in Mexico. So the Australian A league, our domestic league in Australia, has to play during the summer.

and we play during the summer because it's competing against AFL and it's completing against rugby league so they have to play during the summer if they're going to get anybody attending the games. I used to follow the team the Perth Glory when I went to university in Perth. He used to go to their games a little time. That was my team in Perth.

I never got into the NFL. They had a lot of British fans. They were playing in 45 degrees Celsius with no hydration breaks or anything like that. That was just football in Australia, right? And Forrest, our mate, Forrest, went, I don't know why soccer. They want to play in the way. I've never seen why it's a winter sport.

They're wearing shorts. And I'm like, they're fucking running around more than an NFL player. What are they? Like breaking every five seconds and taking a knee and then looking at a player. They run miles, the midfielders. Anyway, so we'll go, Australia, USA, England, although I want England to win more than USA, but I will support the USA. If it was a game, USA versus England, I've got to support USA.

say they gave me the passport the British people never did. And then I have a bit of a wild one of this. I've got a soft spot for the Dutch. You and I both made beautiful football and a country that supports our stand-up. Great crowd. They've always supported me as a stand-up. I love the orange jersey. Whenever I went to play there, they gave me fine-noid jerseys, Ajax jerse.

They gave me fucking the national jersey. It's always weird when they give you the jersey because they give you a name on the back, which means you can never wear it. You can never wear. I walk down the street with Jeffries on it. It's just, what am I, a five-year-old who's just been excited

that my name was, that's me? I have a rule for support, which would actually rule out the soccer rules if I wasn't an Australian national. If the predominant vibe of men in the country call soccer gay

or call it soccer, I can't support you. Yeah. Because it means nothing to your people. So. Well, that's my problem with the Americans. It does. mean nothing to them.

Well, they call it gay. And I'm like, I grew up playing both sports, Aussie rules and football, soccer, whatever you want to call it. And even in Australia, to be honest, in my childhood, they were like, fucking gay. Okay.

Johnny Warren's biography is called, what's your name? His biography was called, was called Sheila's Wogs and Puffters. That was the name. I'm quoting it here. That's what Australian's,

uh, Aussie rules fans would say about anyone who played soccer. Anyone who played football. Sheila's, that means women. Wogs means Italian, Greeks, Croatians, people from, you know, European type of folk. And, yeah.

Sheila's, wogs and puffters. And we know what Pufters are, right? So I'm only quoting it, but that's the name of that guy's biography, which is terrible because that's what I want to name my biography. So this is... Now I've got to think of another one. Why is that was the order of, that's your favorite people.

You go women first. Yeah. If I had to fuck something. You had to fuck something. You start with. I'm going to fuck all three things, but this is the order. Sheila's Wogs. Where Wog Shilers is right in the middle.

Is it? Yeah, yeah, there. You shave them down there a delight. Yeah, you see, you do any, any, any, any, um, Anglo women, you'll fuck them straight away. Wogs. just above Pufters as long as they're not as hairy. Yeah, just above. So that's my fourth.

And then my fifth team are, look, I never go for a South American team because I always find them a little bit just. I like, yeah, so I like a bit of German engineering. I go Germany after that. I like them because they win all the time and they do it the right way. They're always a meticulous team and they're good to watch. All right. So here's mine. And this is always difficult for me because obviously the Soccero is an Australian citizen,

I was born and raised there. But, but, but it's number one, where is my, where is my passion? When I'm, when I'm on my phone and I scroll and the algorithm wants to make me cry late at night and get excited, it does just show me Luca Modrich highlights and supercut edits to rap music while we. That's because those teams. teams, those Croatian teams, have made it into finals. Because they've been, yes, because they've been more successful.

They've had success. So there's things to watch. Like we were just saying before, I don't know anything about the Australian team. Our top player plays in Finoid in Holland, right? We've got other players that look like they're going to be something else. Stryker plays for Watford in the championship. You know, so you don't know the players. We've been living in America.

So we've had to listen to podcasts. I've had to watch, you know, YouTube clips and whatnot about the different things. And I'm a Jill national. But everyone, what I'm saying, everyone knows Luca Modrich. Yes, and we know Kovachic and, yeah. So we will go Croatia number two. Yeah. Number three, now this is the interesting thing.

As a football fan, I'm immersed. I do nothing, but that's why I keep saying, good team. I think of Jamie O'Hurry, Jason Kundi, Simon Jordan, and everyone at Talk Sport, I listen to nothing but English Premier League coverage as a Spurs fan. So I know the England team so intimately. It's all I fucking hear. about? I know the England team more than the Australian team. And also what Lineca and Shear and all that have a show on Netflix that starts today, which is going to be live each

day, which is going to be reviewing the football. I think this is going to be good to have a worldwide stream show on football that everyone can see all the time that we can all communally see because every country has their own little tiny thing. We have a recap of the day, which isn't going to be American-centric. All right, pie lovers. If you want to come and see me, look, you'll probably listen to the podcast if you're out for the World Cup, come and see both me and Amos in Vancouver. June 12th, there's an early show that is completely sold, 100% sold. You can only get to the 10pm show at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre.

Also, if you're in Seattle, it's a bit out of the town, but it's an easy drive. Tacoma, come and see me June 18th at the Emerald Queen Casino in Tacoma. Coming up besides that, we have Richmond, Virginia on June 12th. 25th at the Energy Center and Tyson's Virginia on the 27th at the Capital One Hall. Then, look, just go to Jim Jeffries.com because I am touring Australia for about six weeks. If you were in a major Australian city, I'm there. Even if you're not in a major Australian city, I will be there. See you soon, Australia.

And then we've got Deutsche Lund. I've always loved the German national team, which is the enemy of the British team, but also got the German wife. Can I talk about Deutschland very quickly? Right? Now, my issue with this is, if you want to call your country, Doishland, call it Doishland. We'll all do it. I hate when countries have two names. People have started saying like, so in the first game, Australia versus Turkurea, Turkey. Turkey. And you're like, we've been calling it Turkey forever. Is it Turkrea or is it Turkey? If you want to call it Turkrea, I can work with it. I can do it. If you want to call it Deutscheeland, I can. I can work with it. I can do it. If you want to call it Deutscheland. I'll call it Doisland. I've been calling a Germany. So don't have two fucking names.

I'm looking at you, you Dutch, Holland people. What about Wales? Netherlands. They're trying to say Kamre. Oh, fuck the Welsh. Fuck the fucking dumb-ass language. Come-knit. It's like everything's like slightly different if you go telephony.

On the end, it's like, the language, the telephone was invented after your language. You can call it telephone if that's the name of the fucking. product that was brought out. And then I have to go, which one of, which team do I also? I've got a thing. I don't, I love the Dutch too because they play well. And they never win and they're beautiful and they've had wonderful players throughout the decades. Now, where do you go with Portugal?

Because this is Ronaldo's last World Cup. Honestly, he was an embarrassment in the Euros. He did nothing but faulted for that team. And it's all about him. He shouldn't be in the team. I own a, I own a, I own a Ronaldo Caboom in a PSA 10. And I love Ronnie, but it's like, I've got a feeling he's going to be a disaster this World Cup. Too old, too slow.

Like, Messi can still play. He'll still be all right, but not too old, too slow. Also, big shoutouts to global conflict throughout history. Just because it does make World Cup games so much more interesting knowing that there's history between certain nations, you know. It's the one benefit. It's, okay. Like Iran, honestly, think about how many people are going to be getting behind the Iranian team. Isn't Iran playing New Zealand or something?

I think so. Look, already, you know, the Somali and ref didn't get let in. Really? Yeah, so a ref from Somalia didn't get, he's refereeing. Somalia's been put onto the band list. He couldn't get in. He's being terminated from the World Cup. So that might be why you should get.

for the United States, is every chance that the greatest defense for America is that Donald Trump may well just investigate with ICE any nation that could beat them? I'm looking forward to Australia versus USA the most. That's the game I'm most looking forward to. My prediction, I reckon it's going to be a draw. I reckon it's going to be too all. We're going to get a couple through. They're not unbeatable. I believe we might lose to Turkey. We're going to draw with America and we're going to win against Paraguay. So let's get into some content about the World Cup and we can move on to some other topics.

I want to play you this. I've been watching on Twitter people's reactions to being in the United States. And obviously the Brits have been complaining a lot that it is in England as they do when they travel more than anybody. The Germans, there's one man who's going viral because he just seems to be loving it. German fans have found the Waffle House and are talking about the great prices, the amazing hours, and how good the Waffle House food actually is. Smarter than cardward.

Smasasas, it's great. It's potatoes. Smarter than carrot. So they're reconnecting. But no one is having more fun, it would seem, than the Korean fans who are in Mexico. Jack, have a look at this bloke. There he is. The Korean fans are getting shit-faced on buckets in Mexico.

What is this bucket thing? I've missed something culturally here. I never went to spring break. What is that? You have to stand on your head and drink. Yeah, you have to sit at and drink. I've seen the funnel of booze. I used to do a joke a jockey years ago.

about like when Americans were like, hey, you want to play a drinking game? We have drinking games in Britain, in Australia. It's called drinking. You drink, you drink, you drink, you drink, you drink and drink. And, you know, the last one to fall down wins or something, right? The game begins when you get behind the wheel. Yeah, yeah. That's our game.

Our game's called make it home without being arrested or killing somebody. Three, two, one, go. Geez, I think my cocks infected. You might need a wax, mate. Oh, God. I'd say what, though, do a good job getting inside. Look at the way that it tickles.

Oof. Okay, yeah, so the fans are getting... You're affectionate today. I never see that cut do anything with you. The fans getting into it everywhere. When you're in Germany, you've told this story in the podcast before, but that World Cup,

you would have, you and your dad would have sunk a few beers and had some sausages. We got fucking hammered. And my dad, we'd go to the squares and watch the games. We're not going to go to see two games of football. Hank doesn't really understand this year.

I'm like, we're going to be watching about two, three games of football every day, mate. We're going up there to watch the World Cup. We might take a break and watch Master's the Universe in the cinema and Disclosure Day. They're the two other things we'll do. The rest of the time, we're going to be watching football and following what's going. Well, Town Square football is massive. And in Australia, they were banning it for safety reasons. They're now making it aloud again because you always see those Fed Square videos when the soccer is score

and everyone's jumping up and down in the middle of the night in Australia. here in New York where I live, I'm not that far from Madison Square Garden, big viewing parties there for the Knicks who were trying to win their first championship. Yeah, but the games in Australia aren't on TV at a terrible time, are they? I think they're at a reasonable time this time, yeah,

so you don't get that midnight feel. But let's move to this New York story quickly. They got shut down because President Donald Trump wanted to go and see his Knicks, which cost so many different people, A, tickets because they had to kill seats, Secret Service B, because he was there, the security was ramped up and they got rid of viewing parties here in New York.

He couldn't be more hated right now. The watch parties outside the Madison Square Garden were fucking shut down and also about a quarter of the crowd couldn't get into the game on time because of all the security checks. Two and a half hours. Just because of one cunt who wanted to go to the game. He's the only sitting president who's ever been to the NFL finals fucking ever. and then the cunt falls asleep.

Yeah. NBA in the NBA. He falls asleep during the thing. He fell asleep. There's footage of him. Also, shameful on Barack Obama. Yeah, but this is the problem. Yeah, because why?

Why? Why? I just thought the first black president might go to the NBA. No, he's a huge NBA fan as well, a huge basketball guy. What was he doing? He was running the, he was trying to get Bin Laden. What, wearing a 10? A man suit.

Yeah, he's fucking... Unbelievable. Anyway, so I'll fucking, old Trumpy goes and he falls asleep and people are like this, oh, I can't believe he fell asleep. My dad is three years older than Donald Trump, and my dad is like a cat. He, he, he's 20 minutes. Yeah. He's up for a bit, that he's out for a bit, that he's in for a bit.

Towards the end of my mother's life, my mother was like this. movies aren't very good anymore. None of them make sense. Yeah, because you're missing 20 minutes every hour. Of course, that of it makes sense. You're missing big plot points. The only times I saw Donald Trump wake up was when he was eating fries. He was eating a lot of fries.

He was either asleep or he was stuffing his mouth. In fact, I thought it was a gamble from Donald Trump because I know he loves to go to the UFC and he gets these huge, he basically enters the UFC like a returning emperor, returning to Rome. But even in the UFC, the team. cheers fell off a little bit with the war in Iran. I think his popularity was down to touch. So I thought, him at MSG, that's not his crowd.

This crowd's going to hate him. Have a look at the response when he was on the big screen doing his little salute. Yeah, but this is the whole thing. You mean to put your hand over your heart? Anyway, Carrie, give us the thing. That wasn't the best video of it. That was a bad video. That was just a punter in the audience.

You know, we had actual TV footage of. him doing it. Yeah, but I thought that one encapsulated the feel of the mass. No, no. Did you watch the, no, it, it, in case. He went like this, he, first of all, you meant to hand on heart, take your hat off or whatever, maybe if he took his wig off. You know what I mean?

But he, he did this. Well, you're not meant to salute. And also, but also, did you know that the guy who sang the song was the bloke who's playing the scarecrow in the whiz on Broadway right now? it might have been a reaction to Michael Jackson. So we don't know where the booing came from. All right, Carolyn Levitt. What did Carol?

Who's Karen? She's the press secretary. That sounds like something that she would say. They were not booing the president. They were booing the pedophile supporting singer. No, I know who she is, but I mean, like, yeah, okay, so the pedophile singer. Okay. You know, it just sounds like you're spinning it for Trump.

They weren't booing me. They were booing that awful singer. He was so flat. What a terrible guy. Now this is the thing, I've never liked that the national anthem gets played before sporting events in America for domestic games because we're all in the same country at the same time. You don't need that. I think it should only be on international games. Like the national anthem matters at the World Cup when you're all staying there.

But did you see, so Australia versus Switzerland friendly match about a hundred hundred. hundred people showed up in a stadium to watch this in San Diego, right? And they did that thing where they go along the lines and they watch all the players. Australians, all that. The camera pans on. Because there was no audience, we could hear them all sing. No, no, no, none of them nailed it. No, no, no.

These were blokes just mumbling their way through. Normally they can't be heard. But, yeah. You know what they should do in America? What? I think they should, uh, why not do state. anthems. Almost heaven, West Virginia.

If you were in West Virginia and they play country roads, or if you're in Colorado and they played the Colorado Rocky Mountain, any John Denver will make me happy. But yeah, I'd be up for that. Every state gets their song instead of, because we don't need the national anthem on that one. Let's go get behind your state in a state-no-state thing. You'd do some Sinatra there.

Well, also the problem is if you live up, in Canada. If you play for the Toronto Raptors, what we have to hear two national anthems every time, do we? Every time we've got to hear two of these fucking things. Yeah, so Donald Trump getting absolutely fucking spat apart there at that one. I wonder if you

will he go again? Probably not. He's got things to do because an American helicopter gym was shot out of the sky, according to the news that I'm seeing here. And so Donald Trump has said that they're going to swiftly retaliate. So ceasefire and whatever deal. they were looking at for a while.

I like how you went. The American helicopter was shot out of the sky like there was other options. It could have been shot on the ground. It was shot in the parking lot of a Tesco's. Yeah, so I don't know what's going on there. Let's go through other news stories so we can get into some more fun stuff. It would seem that the world is going to overheat or freeze into a new ice age, according to a new story from the new scientist,

the AMOC, apparently the current in the Atlantic that takes warm water from the equator and sends it up north is cooling. In fact, it's rapidly cooling. And if that happens, they're saying there could be an ice age in our lifetimes, which would freeze over places like the UK. Well, the UK needed because two weeks ago they had a heat wave and they were still going on about it. This week it's raining in the UK, now they're bitching about it. Don't they understand that they have weather?

They have constant weather in Britain. Is nothing else happening in the UK? They're always talking about the temperature going on. So you're saying... Well, I think the real temperature is probably racial at this point after the near beheading that happened in Gnard Island. We'll get to that soon enough. That's the temperature. And more in the weather, there's been an influx of immigrants up here that are causing and down here.

You'll get a slow movement of, no, you can't work that. You can't work that into the weather. We're detecting on the screen here, real rise in racial temperatures. So it's going to be, it's going to be pretty. I'm very warm right now, northern Ireland particularly. Barmy up there type of thing. Oh, yeah, terrible down there. The wind of change seems to be coming through.

So, no, do you want me to read you what this thing is? Well, okay, so what exactly, because people say that we have an ice age, what exactly, explain for, treat me like I'm five. What is an ice age? I know nothing about this. It would have been wonderful to get an intellectual on, but all this is saying is, a mysterious cold blob in the Atlantic suggests the AMOC is weak. Mysterious cold blob. Blop. He's off a book or a screen.

This is from the new scientist. So this is making a lot of people very rare. What was wrong with the old one? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. A patch of ocean southeast of Greenland is the only place on earth that is cooling, and it could be a sign that the warm water convey about in the Atlantic is slowing down. It goes on for many pages of which I don't wish to really read. It seems a little dry in the dual sense of the world.

So you're saying that everyone in the ice age, so the place is going to ice over. Like literally ice is going to cover the place. Everything that lives there will die. Well, I don't know if everything will die, but certainly sea life will be affected. I'm going off the movie Ice Age. This is where I'm getting my reference from. They're going to be extremely cute and adorable animals with the species. There'll be one animal with a nut that will take up 15 minutes of the movie for no fucking reason.

I couldn't stand the Ice Age ones. Those ones when my kids were young, which one of them still four, right? When my kids were little, and they used to watch the Ice Age movies, I used to find the Ice Age one a painful fucking watch. I was a toy story guy. You know, there's a few ones that you enjoy. Oh, I don't know. Oh, I'm a big elephant.

Oh. Oh, it's cold. The thing about... I don't do that one enough. The thing about the collapse of the AMOC is everyone talks about a 4 degree Celsius temperature drop in Europe. And then it also says... Fahrenheit or Celsius.

Celsius. Oh, that is big. And then they talk... And that would also made a four degrees Celsius increase in the Gulf of Mexico, now the Gulf of America. That'd be good. Or the three to four times as many hurricanes that the U.S. is going to get as a result of this.

But... Boo! It says here also, though, we're monitoring this and have been for a while. But the Trump administration just dismantled a 360. $68 million deep ocean monitoring system that provides critical data on the world's oceans. The decision sparks alarm among experts that the US is taking its eyes off the oceans. So it would seem that America is going, we need to wind back rules on fossil fuels because China's threatening us with our economic superiority.

So we want to be energy independent. We'll take Venezuela's oil. We burn more oil. We don't worry about climate change. The temperatures rise. But then also there's these things in the ocean letting us know that it's getting too hot, or that the current stopped. Let's just get rid of those fucking detectors.

This is the equivalent of taking the batteries out of the smoke detector. Yeah, which you have to do eventually. Which is what we're doing. Because that thing would just beep and annoy you. I'd rather burn to death. So that's where we're at. That's where we're at in the climate change story is take out batteries from detector and die peacefully in the heat.

That's the trap administration strategy. Is this information? It's fucking annoying. Well, I haven't, this hasn't gotten on my radar at all that we're all going to die. Is this being big news? No, I mean, people have been talking about this forever. I called Forest. I called Forest and, you know, he's a marine biologist and said, did you see this story?

He goes, I mean, try to talk about it to you for years, but you're a goddamn shell for oil company. Isn't that funny that he's been trying to talk to you about it for years? and he hasn't even brought it up with me. You wouldn't understand. Yeah, he's like, jammy. You'll fucking jam. He'll fucking start talking about himself about when he was cold once.

I'm surprised he didn't have a story. You know, the 2006 final, I was pretty cold with me, I know I talk a lot, but I'm very self-aware. That's one of my good qualities. Do you want to hear about it? I was very self-aware yesterday. I said, this is what I'm talking about.

Things, we don't, we watch the news and the news, because they're basically all but cured pancreatic cancer. I saw it on the news and then it, nothing happened. It was one day. There's a new drug called Dara Oxirabin, the daily oral pill targets, mutations of the genes that are present in 90% of pancreatic cancer, 70% survival rate. 70% from pills from pancreatic fucking cancer we've gone up 70% and that's just been last week two weeks ago hardly made the news it was you know where they put it in the news at the bit of the news where they used to go and next up a story about a dog raising a chicken right when they used to do those fun things it was like this anyway Trump said this Trump said this Trump was banned at the basketball and we've cured cancer good night Shuffling of papers.

Shuffling of papers. Yeah. All the big stuff we don't care about. Aliens. Well, that's what they're saying. We're going to find out about aliens. They used to make movies about like medicine man with Sean Connery where I found the cure for cancer. And, you know, he's going to sort it out.

And there's like the big thing. And the world's going to find out. I found the cure. It turns out you can find the cure for cancer and people don't really give a shit. No, unless it's breast. Well, pancreatic. We can all get that one. Yeah.

Well, yeah, you've got to save the breast cancer. Yeah. Have you? I, yeah. You've got to have a good front purse. This is going to be a slightly off-color story, but I remember once having sex with a girl, and I was, she was on top, and I was doing the, you know, holding. Fuddling the nooks.

I was having a breast, and I felt a lump mid-sex. And I remember, I mean, oh, God, I should tell her about that, maybe. And then I was like this. She probably already knows. But anyway, it ruined the mood. because I came so quickly. Three tits. You're in the tri-tid area.

That's what I always hate about America. Whenever I think of America, they go, everyone in the tri-state area is really except the tri-state. Just saying everyone around the Knicks is excited, not the tri-state area. So on that topic, actually, I'm me feeling a lump during sex. No, on pills. On pills.

Great, great pills. You know, I, I don't ever, I don't like medicine. I'll take it like, I'll take it if I'm in hospital, but I'm not, I'm one of those people who I try to not bother. My wife won't take any medicines. She won't take anything unless it helps with beauty. Then she'll pump poisons into her body and not ask questions. Or chocolate. Everything else has to be cleaned with special vinegar.

Half of it is I can't be bought. bothered, to be completely honest with you, a lot of the time. But I have a rotten toe. I've seen this toe. And have done for a long time. I've seen this toe. What happened was? This toe is stopping you from getting an elite-looking woman.

No, no, no offense to you, Mrs. My toe. Hey, Anna, it makes him accessible. My toe, what happened was as I was in Canada once, skiing with my brother and his stoner friends up there in this disgusting pit of the house that they were living in. They were working on the mountain. And I was, shit at skiing.

I crashed. My toe jammed into the boot. And immediately afterwards, blood just filled up the toe. Have you had a black toenail? I couldn't, mate, I couldn't walk. Only when I hit it with a hammer. I could, I could not walk when you got the nail between the toes. You fucking chimp.

Yeah. Well, my father always had a black thumb. My father always had a black thumb because he's a carpenter. And like, when, when, when you. get one of them and they take about six weeks to heal. When he whack his thumb with a hammer, bang, and then he'd go bang, you'd have one. I had that on a toe. About once a year, my father had a black nail on his thumb.

Yeah, so I had that on the toe. And now I had two more days of trying to ski before I had to get the fuck out of there. And I couldn't bear it. And then one of the young lads who was a ski instructor slash degenerate drug addict came over to me and he goes, bra, don't worry about that man. He goes, you know what you've got to do. He goes, you just got to warm up a pin and put it on the nail. And then when it, what I'll do is it burn the enamel.

And then blood will scoot up there like Mount Vesuvius. Blood will piss everywhere. It'll drain it. And then you'll be absolutely chill to go for a few days. It'll only like be a problem in about a week. I said, yeah, man, let's go for it. He takes off his badge, his name tag badge. And he burnt the end of it.

He gets the lighter because that's going to make it all good, is it? Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be all good now. He puts it on there. Full eruption, immediate pressure release. I couldn't believe it. He just stabbed it. He stabbed it through the middle of your nail.

You don't even need to stab it, dude. Once you warm it up, you just place it on top. And the heat from the point basically makes it fall down into your... This guy was a genius. No, he told me it. He goes, I've done this myself. About four hours later, I see him again from the other side of the party, my hero. He takes off his name tag again.

And I'm like, what's he doing this time? What he was doing with at this side was cleaning out the tip of a bong. He was actually cleaning out the cone, was he? He was cleaning out the cone with his name badge. I thought, that's probably not the cleanest way to have a surgery on the run. Yeah, but he sterilized it with the lighter, mate. So anyway, within a couple of weeks, this toe, this is 2016 or something. My toe was gangrenous green.

And ever since then, it's just been like, yuck. claw, yellow, weird shape, flaky. And I've never, I've tried fungi nail on it. Never, never worked. When I went back this time, I said to, I might as well show me a doctor for the first time. I show you. Why don't you show me? I'll show you.

I'll show the podcast. Well, it's actually good now. We have to get the YouTube viewership up. Let's see if I can. Now, my toes. I'm glad you got pants on. That's good. That's a change of events.

Nah. Can you see it? Yeah, it's not bad. You've got a fucking Fred Flintstone. Move your camera to the left. There you go. You've got like half a nail. Why is your toes so long and your nail so short?

No, because so you have to, the tail, the toe nail dropped off and it's re-growing. You're clunky-looking fucking Fred Flintstone feet. I, listen, my name was Frodo at school. That was my nickname because everyone said I had the feet of a hobbit. Oh, yeah. It was very inventively. it was because everyone ruled your ring. I also had a fat friend called Sam.

I made do everything for me. I took this new pill called Turbephan. The guy goes, yeah, man, it's $30. Take it for 60 days. It'll kill the fungus. I went, ah, I don't know if I can be bothered spending now. Anika goes, just take it. Dude, I've taken it for 60 days.

Fungus has gone, nails growing back. this is like my faith in modern medicine's back. How did that not make the news over the cancer research? I'm just saying I'm back. I'm back. I wouldn't even take neuropine for a while. After the vaccine, I was such a hippie medicine person only.

I'm a return. My wife had just been on a flight with our four-year-old off to England, right? She flies off to England and to go to a friend's wedding. And Charlie didn't sleep the whole time because they were in premium. economy. They didn't get business class for a weekend. It's like, fucking 10,000 pounds or whatever to go over there now. And it's like, and it's like, why don't you just give him Nyquil or fucking an antihistamine and knock the little bastard out? And then she says, oh, I'm not putting that in my child.

He's got more health effects from fucking staying up the whole dog. I'm a big supporter of modern medicine. It's done a lot for us. The people are, oh, you don't want to put that shit in your body. What, the stuff that makes me thin or the stuff that fucking makes me go to sleep or the stuff that fucking makes me not depressed. I don't believe. I'll never take a sleeping pill. I don't want to take any antidepressants.

I don't want to take any of the rital. I only take sleeping pills when I get, and when I'm trying to get in and out of time zones. My faith in modern medicine, for the most part, is zero. Okay, I'll tell you what. Carolyn Nugent, my mother was fucking one week from turning 80, and that woman had no right being 80. Fucking, she was held together with modern medicine.

and she was on fucking painkillers. She was on all the fun ones as well. She had a wonderful life. My mother sat in a chair for 20 years. I used to think, what a waste. What a waste. And now as I'm getting older, oh, she watched some telly.

She didn't miss a show, Jack. She didn't miss a show. She watched them all. If there was a show to me watch, she fucking watched him. Passing in and out of consciousness, waking up, back on an oxy cotton,

falling asleep. It's what I want to do now. That's not what I want to do in retirement I know a guy that can get you some oxy I'm fucking I'm ready to go I'm ready to go You can get some of those

Appalachian Skittles Get rid of all the Get rid of all the social media apps The people go What happened to Jim Jeffries He's rolling around In his own filth Loving it

Well let's go from that actually To some products that do need the FDA To step in there I want to mention a product I wanted to do a segment on the podcast Just quickly, and this is going to tie into it. I want to do a thing on the podcast. Every time I have a stupid question, I want to ask myself that I go to the internet to ask,

I want to save them up and ask you on the podcast to see if you remember things. Because I'm a super intelligence. I appreciate it. It's not, I don't know about that, but it's like, okay, do you remember a bar of soap in Australia called Solvo? Solvo, yeah, you Solvo after every football game. My dad said, you don't get to use the nice soap because we have to have that. you have been playing football, you'll rub salvo, which as far as I'm concerned, was asbestos

in a bar. Okay, first of all, does solvo still exist? If people don't know what solvo is, it seems to be soap with minute rocks through it. And or broken glass. S-O-L-V-O-L. It's for tradies to get grime off the hand. Yeah, my father, winning, you work on a carp, you want to get the grease off and all the type of stuff. It exfoliated and stuff.

but it's a grey bar of soap that has chunks in it that will just rip your skin off. This is, hold on. This is just giving me memories here, okay? Is this weird? Did every family do this? So, my parents. Use the Solvo. My parents were obviously divorced.

So I had Dad's House, Mum's House. Now, when I was at Dad's House, we had one shower, obviously. And there was no. And you all took it at the same time. There is. There is. There is Solvo. It's an aggressive.

It's, but when it looks like a, Flint. Yeah, and it came, and it's a heavy-duty hand cleanser, but it would exfoliate. I remember using that in the shower. You could use it to shave. No razor. Straight off. Sharing after a football game as a kid and rubbing that on my dirty knees and blood and dirt

just hitting the floor of the shower and being like, I don't want to use this day. Here we go. When did this happen? Okay. Iconic Aussie soap solvo has been discontinued after 105 years. Did I just call this? Yeah, because kids today are pussies. They can't handle solvo.

In February of 2022, they got rid of Solvo. All right. Here we go. Let's watch a commercial for Solvo. For Solvo from... Oh, my God. Busy haves. Busy haves.

Busy haves. Need solvo. Yes, busy hands need solvall because only solvall gets hands really clean. So, get busy hands, clean as whistle with solvall. After wet and after plane. Clean busy hands, the solvo way you solve all. Okay, when did we get rid of that voice? Yes, busy hands, up to absolvo.

That was an advertising rhythm of speech, right? That no... Mom's depressed. She can't be doing dishes all the time. She needs detergent. Look at these kids. They're happier than ever. Oh, off they go.

Oh, off on an adventure with their uncle who never had kids. You know what I mean? Like it was always a weird, bubub, bu, bum to it. Solvo as far as I remember. I can't believe it's gone. The premise of it was, you're only dirty because dirt's on your skin. So just remove your skin. Yeah, yeah.

That was that, but it was for like, it was for like people who have been down minds. I bet you there's an old bloke in Australia who was, fucking stockpiled the shit out of Solvo. Like he hasn't, when they found out, it's being discontinued in 2022. Not on my watch. Not on my watch. You know,

and there's always a candy bar that they bring back, like bring back a polywaffle? We should do a bring back Solvo. Bring back Solvo. Everyone write to us and see if you've still got Solvo at home because I remember that was like, I use, and there was an ad vote. It was like, could I, should I use some soap? Use the Solvo, Jeffrey.

And the advert said, Jeffree. And I remember my mum used to yell at me. Use the solvo, Jeffrey. Like that is one of the reasons I hated my name. So, yeah, so here's my thing to you. Did this happen in your family household as well? This bottled body wash business of the modern world didn't exist. I remember when it came in.

I remember when it came in and we were like, what's going on here? We're having a liquid soap. So we're a lower middle class family and we're a single dad and two kids, right? We had a bottle, we had imperial leather soap and a solvo. and we just apparently used it my dad would use it so the shower would go dad me then my little brother and I always look back at it now

my dad's got a soap bar that he's obviously washing his balls with it's got his hairs all over it and then I'm grabbing that and doing my underarms what the fuck was that about? You were making me have a fight I had a difficult girlfriend once who was like everything was like

oh I've got OCD so I have to have blah blah blah blah and she needed Irish Jew Jew I'm Jew D-U-E, right? No, not like... What's the price of these potatoes? I'm like they're still selling it.

Here we go. With Solvo back? Get some we're in Australia. Yeah, I'll bring some Solvo back for you, Jack. This'll be a game changer. This will put more calluses on your fingers than playing guitar. Um, oh no, you can't rub you, you can't wash your genitals with Solvo.

You'll fucking, you'll look down. They'll just be testicles without a sack. Sorry, I need you to go back to the Irish Jew. who was clipping coins at the bottom of the rainbow. So, something Irish Jew or Irish mist or something, there was some soap that she would only have. If she came over to my house, we had to have this particular soap or she wasn't going to be.

She'd freak out. I've got to go home because this is the soap I'm comfortable with. Anyway, I just had a flashback to that. And do you remember when the liquid soap first came out? Did you shower soap as a family? Yeah. Now you have the squeezy bottle that you pick up and you squeeze like that. For a while, they had the one that hooked onto the top of the shower head

that went downwards, that you just went, boom, and then it just squirted downwards. That was the good stuff. I remember, so this is how my dad used to, you have to do showering.

This is fucked up now that I think about it. But when I was, do you have any memories of the child showering with either of your parents? Yeah, 100, so many. So first of all.

I have ones showering with my eldest brother, like he had to shower me or something once when I was like four and he was like 12 or something. You've got to go like that. It's always awkward. I went in with my dad once because dad used to start the shower early. Okay, so this is how I remember waking up as, I'm going to say from the age of seven to 12, I would wake up to the sound of my dad who would always be quitting cigarettes,

but never really fully got off him. So I'd wake up in the morning when he was quitting cigarettes to this. Uh-huh. Because he's in the shower with tar coming off his lungs. Oh, I thought because he was, because he was, he was, he was, he was sucking uncle Barry's cock. We called him uncle. He wasn't our real uncle, but he was always over at the house.

Right? Then he would, you'd hear the shower come on. And then it would go for a while. And then he'd go, Amos! Amos! For some reason, he wouldn't turn the shower off. We had to tag in there like a relay race.

And then I'd go past Dad. He'd be getting into a tower. And then I had to get in. And you know when you first see your dad when you're like seven? And it's just the hairiest, biggest cock you've ever seen in your live. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And to this day, every time I see myself naked, I'm like, where's my big fucking

dad cock? What happened to me? Well, little kids, because my four-year-old, when he was about, when he was three or something, he was saying, he was saying, oh, he said, you said, mommy, dad has a big penis. He walked past me in the thing. I'm like, I'm like, you don't bloody be telling. Actually, you can tell people. And then I remember the first time that dad goes, you're up.

And I said, yeah, turn the shower off and you come out like, you freak. and that's where my dad was like, oh, all right. Oh, a bit too much. He's got a... Someone's got a bit too much of his mom, you know? You're fucking too fancy to tag team. So every morning, this is my life, right, when I was a kid, right? My brother would wake me up by grabbing me by the shirt and going,

come, boom, kabum, kabum, kabum, come, like so your whole body was whiplashing around. That's how you would start the day, right? Sounds like hell week, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's how my brother would do it. Yeah, he would walk in and come in and come, boom, come, boom, or the other brother would come in the winter and just whip your duna off you. Boom.

So you're just there in the cold, just laying on top of the bed, just, because there was no heating in the house. Then you would get in the shower and then you would have to wait, because I would do this to my brothers as well. Did you ever do this with your brother where you'd get the, you'd go off to the sink, you'd finish brushing your teeth, then you'd get a cup of water that had the toothbrushes in them. You'd fill that up and then dump it over the top of the shower to give them a cold little thing so they'd scream. No, no. Oh, weekly. Weekly. This was an all-the-time thing.

This wasn't a casual thing. You get the water. You go over the top of the curtain. You pour it. They scream. They're not going to chase after you. They're all wet and slippery. You're out of the room before there's a problem.

Jeez. You and your brothers. It was war. It was like your family stories remind me of what my friends who went to boarding skill talk about. I watched Malcolm in the middle like it's a documentary. I'm fucking, it was a real, yeah, we were always like, I told you about the toilet door, right? How I figured out with my brother.

Yeah, smashed it into his knee. One time I dropped a dumbbell on my brother's stomach while he was sleeping. Yeah, they always go, mine are like, oh, I had to see my dad's penis, and, and yours are like, yeah, my brother's tried to kill me. But it was all the laugh. I remember, okay, so what was your first ever clone? My first cologne was... Let's age you by your fragrance. I gotta say it was probably either brute or dupe.

I'm going to say jupe. Mine was Paco Raban jazz. Actually, David Beckham. DB. Now, I'd already had some links and all that type of stuff, but some jazz, right? And my brother had Dracca Nuir, right? Which was a big one. And I remember one time Scott, who was two years younger than Danny, so Scott would have been 14, and Danny was 16, he had his dracon, you were, and Scott had sprayed someone himself.

But you know, when you're a little fella, like Hank and his mates were all hanging out at a barbecue the other day. We walked into the room and it fucking stank because one of the kids had cologne and they'd all given it a go. And they think you have to go, psh psh psh, psh, psh, you don't think you'd just go two squirts and move on with your day, right? So Scott had obviously put on too much dracan you are, right? And Danny walked in the room. It was like out of a movie. He walked in the room, sniffed, walked up to Scott and punched him. There was no conversation.

Have you touched my perfume? Guilty. Okay, let's get into this. David Beckham, what did that smell like? The David Beckham, well, it smells. like 2003. That's what it smelled like. A time when David Beckham had a mohawk. A foe hawk. A foe hawk. And he was, he'd just moved, I got given it by an auntie. This is all coming back to me now. She gave it to me for Christmas. And simply because I remember,

I was the only one on that on the Aussie side of the family that liked football soccer and played it myself. And she went, here you go. This is those metrosexuals that play soccer are all wearing this. We thought of you when we saw it. That Metro David Beckham. Did they give you the perfume gift box, which would have the cologne when you're a kid, the clone. And then post-s shaving cream and the joke was being. Post-craving cream and then a stick of deodorant. Yes. And then you'd have it in the box because that's what made it an actual Christmas gift is because you could wrap it up and it was a sizable present. Right. I want to do this story with you. I want to get your thoughts on this. I feel like we've been talking about pretty important stuff. I feel like Solvo has been

the topic of the night. Here is the new product from Crumble. Crumble are these cookies. Crumbles, if you check the ingredients on Crumble, they are Satan. Me and the kids had them a few times. They're nice enough cookies. They're no Mrs. Fields, but they've got too many ingredients for a cookie. You should only have like six, seven ingredients, and it's like fucking tons of shit in there.

They're really bad for your Crumbull. Unless they want to advertise on the podcast. What I find interesting is this new craze, and you independently brought this up to me at the same time this is happening, and I'll piece this all together and I'll show you how. So Crumble has a new beverage, which people are saying, at this point, I know we have freedom in the United States, but maybe the government needs to intervene at this at some point. 18 18 grams of sugar, the equivalent of eating 19 crispy cream donuts in one drink. Just to put that in context, I believe there's 17 grams of sugar in a Coca-Cola. I don't know how many it is, but 186 is in crumble. I might be wrong, but 186 sounds like a lot.

So I said to Annika, it's absurd. So I said to Anika... You'd rather do one gram of cocaine would be healthier for you. No doubt. I said to Anika, oh, you've seen this thing. And you got a dirty Dr. Pepper from McDonald's. Yeah. These are coming out, okay, which is these sweet foams on top of already sweet drinks.

It makes it a 300 calorie over a 170 calorie. And Anika said to me, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all because of, that's super popular now because of secret lives of Mormon wives. I went, what do you mean? And she said, well, in the Mormon community, you know, they don't drink alcohol. So they've got this big thing that's been happening on that TV show. And in the Mormon community and a lot of shops in Utah is it's a race to get the most sugary drinks you can possibly get because they're not allowed to have booze. So I did some research on this. And they read a really interesting story that said that Mormonism and Utah,

has a lot of similar tendencies to Muslims in the Middle Eastern countries who also, because they can't drink, are purveyors of really full-on sweets. I think your Turkish delights, your bucklivers, they have a lot of like very fragrant. When I gave up drinking, my soda intake picked up because I was like, I'm not drinking booze. I'm allowed to have this. Yeah, so there's that mentality, of course. So I was reading this.

It says a dirty soda is a customized, highly caffeinated and sugary beverage made by a mixture of base soda with flavored syrups, fruit purees and splashes of cream, originating in Utah's Mormon community, it serves as an alternative to, I didn't know this, they're not to have alcohol, coffee and tea is prohibited in the Mormon world. Did you know that? No wonder, they're all psychos. You know, they've got no vices. Have you been following reckless Ben in the Lego?

You've got to watch that documentary. I haven't seen that yet. Okay, watch it and then we'll talk about it on the next podcast. The corrupt Utah cops are insane. Have you watched it? Okay, it's worth watching on YouTube. Reckless Ben and Bricks and Minifigs. It's worth watching.

They're all going to shut down because they're being brought down at the moment. People are fucking losing their minds. They're cunts. This is that store. The store stole $200,000 with the Lego. And it turns out the guy was high up in the Utah church. And so therefore he had cops just harassed this guy and pull him over and say that he had heroin on it.

Just watch it. We'll talk about it afterwards. So to finish on this, this is the rise of the soda bars. So once McDonald's is on it, you know, the trends everywhere. I noticed that it also in Starbucks, they're doing a lot of these sweet foam toppings and these refresher drinks that are full of chopped up fruit and whatnot. But the calories are out of this fucking world. Yeah, yeah, you can't do it every day.

It's in every third day. And anyone who sent me to stand up, you know, I do that bit where I say, if you want healthcare, you have to care about your health. This is the world that I see coming. What do you think of this? When you see that some of your neighbors are having a drink that is 900 calories, okay? Okay. And rotting out their teeth and making them more.

And you only should have 2,000 calories a day as a man, 1500 as a woman. Yeah. So this is the world I think that is coming with tech is let's say everyone gets given health care by the state. But from now on, all your food consumption is tracked by like a government mandated Fitbit. And they essentially, you have your calorie, $2,000 a day. And if you go over that, you start to pay a premium on your healthcare. It's like a... Honestly, I know you're trying to do a bit.

No, no, but it's what I'm saying to think is necessary. I just did a movie and I had to do the health insurance on the movie. Those health insurance checks are ridiculous because have you ever had a surgery? Have you ever taken it? And you go, what medicine do you take? You're like, finest ride for my hair. Oh, we can't, we can't, uh, we can't insure you. So you have to go on movies.

Really? Yeah, you have to go on movies. Like I said, I had a kidney stone and they're like, can't insure him. And so I just went, I never had one. I was lying because it's like, it's this thing. So, so insurance on movies and on sets is bullshit because everyone has to lie to get onto the fucking movie.

And then when they do the movie, if you get sick, then the insurance company went, oh, you were lying. So it's just. It's a mob. You're just paying people off so that you can get a certificate and move on with your fucking day, right? Because they won't insure anyone. Because no one's in perfect health. Anyway, carry on.

Well, except for the president. Yes. Oh, yes. Perfect. He's 150 pounds I've been told. He's that 6-4, 150 pounds. If you started with base level, so we have to say you can't have family genetics come into this. That's where it will end up.

In the end, they'll have everyone's DNA and they'll go, your price range is here because your family dies of cancer more often. But let's say it starts at base rate and you can only be penalized due to your behavior. And every vice that you have adds another $500 base layer points, right? What would you think of this is of a healthcare system? Right. So it would be like if your diet is per year means you're a fat gun and you're eating to any sugar.

It's an extra $500 premium. What else would you say would give premiums up? Well, my mother, her favorite snack every afternoon when no one was in the house and sometimes when people were just in the house was fairy bread. That was her afternoon snack. Now, if you don't know what fairy bread is, do you know what fairy bread is? Fairy bread is you get white bread, you cover it in butter. You have to have so much butter on there that you can sprinkle hundreds and thousands on top of it and it will stick to the butter. And she used to have that. So you mix that with her oxy cotton addiction. fucking, she would have had to pay a hell of a premium. Hell of a fucking premium. You know what I used to call that? That was my little bit when I was about 14.

I used to call it Gay Braille. Gay Braille. Oh, Gay Braille. Because you had to fear you. Okay, very funny. That was one of my first little bits as a kid. Yeah, so these foods that are taking root in the United States, which anyone who's coming over here to visit will know.

It is, and people have said this about America forever. It is hard to say how you can get nationwide insurance and let people eat that. When will we get the pictures of people's rotted out teeth and fat love hands? Yeah, you have to do what they did with cigarettes. Because I watched the person smoke in Australia the other day. Now they have, it's killing you on the filter. So as you're drawing it, so you used to be able to cover the boxes up. I used to do a joke years ago.

I got a child. He's a model, mostly cigarette packets, right? you know, because they're a baby, right? So, so they have dead babies. They have rotted out lungs. And I always used to think with the smoking, every smoker worries about their lungs. Every smoker goes, don't show me the teeth because that's something you can cosmetically get changed. Don't worry about the throat cancer because whatever, tell me the lung cancer, lung cancer, lung cancer, lung cancer. Don't give me the cunt who's lost the foot. The picture of the person who's lost the foot. I'm yet to meet a fucking, where did you lose your foot smoking? I just don't, I just

don't meet the foot loss smoker. Never. Never met one. I'd rather, honestly, what do you think is better for you? One of those new crumble 900 cow drinks or one cigarette? Cigarette's better for you than that. Yeah, a cigarette will hurt you less than that. If you have one of them a day versus one cigarette a day, you will live longer on one cigarette a day. Maybe that's the way you measure it.

Instead of a health rating, it's how many cigarettes worth? Because everyone sees cigarettes as the devil. So you go, this McDonald's meal is the equivalent of having five cigarettes. Because cigarettes is universally understood as a guide to cancer. When I first started doing comedy, I'm sure a million comics have done a similar version of this, is that you have warning signs and cigarette things, but they don't have warning on beer cans. They should have things like warning, may wake up with an ugly woman. You may fuck this chick, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. We've all done the joke, right? Of course. So, you know, they should do that with food to a certain extent. I would like to have on some sugary cereal just as, because you do lose your foot to diabetes. Why are they putting that on the cigarette packets? The foot being shut off should be on the Coca-Cola.

Unless they're a sponsor of this podcast, then Coke is it. Who are our sponsors? We don't have any sponsors at the moment. We can team up. Well, I'm just looking over. Jack's wearing a Coca-Cola hat, and I'm a big fan of Coca-Cola. Well, Coca-Cola is better for you than this fucking shit. Coca-Cola is the best.

It gives so much, are so little. Okay, I'm going to tie it on with this to, too. to end us out here. You know, Coca-Cola, all these other companies come up and nothing annoys me more. I don't know how you feel about them,

but these monstrosities like the crumble 900-cow drink. Another one that I hate is any of these milkshakes with a fucking donut on top of it and fairy floss. Oh, yeah, you know, Instagramable foods. Instagramable foods.

Instagramable food. Okay, so let's start simple here. When I was a kid, a cupcake, had a fucking bit of icing on the top. It wasn't piped on in a spiral up like this. Iceing wasn't this thick. Iceing wasn't as thick as the cupcake.

And now people are like, well, what you do is you rip the bottom off and you make a cupcake. You're not meant to have that much fucking icing. Settle down. Well, that's like, okay, this is the case with everything, though. And all food that is being consumed digitally ends up having to outperform, because, you know, just like the pornographic effect, once you see one thing and go, wow, that looks like a lot.

Wow, that looks like a very moorish dish. It has to get more and more silly. And we've got to the point now where you're like, this is just, there's no one's thinking about flavor in this anymore. This is just obnoxious. But it's all, it's a savory food as well. Now they're like, and we're going to dip the hamburger in cheese, and then we're going to cut it, and the cheese is going to melt all over the plate.

And then we put it into a pizza and re-refire, then we turn it into an empignata. What was, it all should have stopped when the Scots deep. fried a Mars bar. We should have gone, all right, we'll call it a day. That was the canary. The canary in the cold mud was a deep fried mars bar.

There's nothing shabby about it. I tried doing it at Christmas once in the house. I couldn't get the batter right. That's with all foods, dude. So I remember we always talk about how Christmas dinner and Thanksgiving, it's like you have a toast dinner. That was once special.

That was once like, that's why it was a Christmas meal. It was like, wow, this is like Christmas poured, Christmas lunch. These are like special meals. And we're so spoiled for food.

where we can order anything at all times that food has gotten out of fucking control. Very few people just have a basic rather-the-meal standard dinner anymore. Oh, no, no. I just eat spaghetti bolognese five days a week. Yeah, things that we used to see on TV as eating challenges. I once won Thanksgiving.

There was a pie. It was pretty good. It was like, you know the Taduckin, like the turkey inside the duck, inside of this, inside of that? By the way, we're going to MOT 32 and I pre-ordered the duck. On the Sunday after, in Vancouver, on the Sunday after the game, we have the duck. It's coming. It's happening.

But I ordered this cake for dessert that was, it was the base of it was a pecan pie. Right? The base of it was a full pecan pie. That was the crust. Yeah. Yeah. Then you had a pumpkin pie on top of the thing. and it was all encased in a red velvet cake around it,

and then you just cut into it. I've been trying to have this conversation with the wrong man. It was pretty good. You glutton. Well, it was Thanksgiving, and I wanted to be thankful for America and everything. You know what? You're going to be.

I'm going to be in Australia on the 4th of July, and Hank was like this. We're going to be in Australia for the 4th of July? How are we going to celebrate it? We're not, son. We're just going to, it's going to be a regular day. We're going to be walking around. No, fire?

We can have a barbecue if you want. Australian pubs will do what they always do. Like on Super Bowl, you'll be able to have a bucket of Budwisers and a bowl of wings and they'll call it the Fourth of July Independence Day special. And it'll be about $150. And they'll put reruns of some American sports on the screen. See, this is the thing. When I was young, these things didn't happen.

We didn't even acknowledge it. You grew up in a different generation where we got a bit American. night. It's like I couldn't believe when I was there for the Super Bowl, the amount of Australians that was showing up wearing their jerseys in the morning. Don't even get me fucking started, mate. MBA, NFL everywhere, but it's not just that. It's the Australian burger that died out for the smash paddy American style. You know, the old, the old fucking fishing chip shop burger. Where's the beetroot?

Went out. So I'm going to, I want to end on a couple of topics before we leave. Also, the Australian soccer ruse, they brought out NFL versions of the, these jerseys. No, Bueno. Why would we want to celebrate competing against the United States in the United States while wearing a United States-style jersey? Fucking stupid, get rid of them. Yeah, I sent it to you and you were an instant.

No. Yankee shite. No. And like you respond about why. I'm like your misses. I just send it stuff to you now. I just send stuff to you knowing that you won't respond. I call.

I'm a caller. Yeah, you're a caller. I just send your links and stuff like that. That's how we communicate. I've seen this. I've seen this. And then we don't respond to each other. What about this?

I've looked at that, right? But I sent you that jersey. That was the fastest response I've ever had from you. No. Sepo shit. To the Americans, they don't know what Sepo means. It's sought for septic tank. It's rhyming slang for yank.

Because you're called yanks, yanky doodle dandies and that type of stuff, right? And a septic tank because you're full of shit. Yeah, because you're full of shit. So if we call you a sepo, it's short for septic tank. tank so shit tank so so when he says sepo that's what he means to Americans well that's what we that's brutal

oh that's so toxic to say it right here that's toxic you're really mean I would say something but we're not having a roast this week I'm gonna save up how I feel about you for five years and then get it out and vent it all out at a roast yeah and say the N word just so I

just so I can get it out I need it to, I need in my culture to have everyone sign a contract that it's all okay to be mean to each other. That's how my culture. Septic tanks. All right, mates, I'm on the road as well in the state, Scranton, Pennsylvania, June 28, Philadelphia, July 2nd, kickoff America's birthday. The Home of Liberty with my show that evening. and then I'm going to Europe to Macedonia, to Orid, Scopia, Istanbul, Turkey and Athens. All those tickets available, but please, I'm doing my first ever big theatre in Vancouver.

If you like the taster of me opening for Jim, I have my own new different hour that I'd love for you to come and see. Calgary tickets have also been added there, and then I'm going to add as many Canadian tour dates as I can. So you don't have to keep messaging me, what about Edminton? Actually, it's not like that. It's more like, ooh. Oh, how would it go, Jim? Oh, he ate like to good Edmonton because that's where I live, you know. I know the cact...

We're going to eat so much food at the Cactus Club while we're in Canada. We're going to be there every day. It's going to make Hank a man all the staff there. It's going to be unbelievable. So more Canadian dates to follow. Go to Amoskilled.com. My overwhelming feeling that Florida's not high at the moment. I've been in the gigs were good.

Thank you and everyone who came out to see me in Fort Lauderdale. He's had an incident in Florida and he's upset. about the whole fucking thing, and that's why he cut it. Because he's still upset. He's still upset. Talk us through it. First of all. Yeah.

Everything, everything, if you want to go to a beach resort there, be prepared to be fisted at every turn. First of all, car parking over there. Don't sell it to me. The car parking situation, just a fucking nightmare. Why don't you Uber? Why are you driving around? What are you driving around for?

Well, a good question, Jim. I was, uh, obviously. going away to do a work trip. Yeah, where you wouldn't need a driver for that. You would just... Well, the club would pick you up and take you to the hotel and then you'd be swamming. I quickly, Jack, an hour and a half before the game we'd like to get there.

So, you know, I'm just going there to work. My missus says, I want to get out of New York. I want to make a trip of it. I said, listen, it's a work trip. I'm there to make money, not spend money. Okay? And she goes, I don't want to stay at the hotel that the club's provide, but I'll pay, she says, we'll go over to a beach resort.

I said, listen, I, I, I don't need it. She goes, I'm going to get a car as well. I said, I don't need a fucking car. She says, don't worry, I'll take care of it all. So obviously, as soon as you get there, you can't just focus, you can't say you go down to the beach to the misses. Obviously, you have to do things together. That's why I went to the nice restaurant, Joe's, because she was there, so go

and have an experience. The food was good. I'm going to go to Miami soon and the food was good. Food it chose as a leak. Great stone crab, great steaks. Couldn't. Say hi to Nico. My man, they're the Croatian waiter.

But then one night we park the car. Okay. And the valet, every night the valet was $80. I'm already going, I don't need a fucking car. $160. $80. $80 to valet overnight. Insane.

My blood. You know, you've got this in you as well. I used to pay rent for a week for that. I don't like to be fucking ripped off. No. I shouldn't be even staying in one of these hotels. I'm here for work. I should be staying at a shit fucking, you know what I should be at?

The double tree at best. What I should be at is a fucking Cambria or a La Quinta. You get a cookie. Where I'm focusing on the work. The next morning, I park the car in one of these American-style strip malls and we eat a Cuban breakfast. And she says, let's just leave the car here and go across the beach for a few hours. What is that like a cigar and a hot dog bun? I had a croquette and some guava type pastry.

I love a croquette. Love a croquet. A good one. Chicken croquette? Mate, uh, ham. Came back from the beach. Do you remember those smelly croquettes we had in Europe? No.

Remember that we went, we were in Belgium or somewhere like that. We went and had lunch and we ordered the shrimp croquettes in that little fucking thing and they just stank so much. We cut into it. Can't eat it. Oh, yeah, I do. That sounds like a racial slur against some Hispanic group, the smelly crickets. We, no, it was, it was, and they go, you didn't like the things?

No, that was not a good thing. That was, that was not a good thing. Come back from the beach. Our car isn't there. Hmm. And we're looking around everywhere. Is it some, some Cuban has stolen it or is it some like American hustler is taking it away? What's happened?

Well, Annika's like, oh my God, where's a car? I go, no, we didn't park. Maybe we parked it further that way, so we walked down that way. And she goes, no, you definitely parked it here because you said, I distinctly remember you saying, who the fuck would eat a Burger King when you can get the Cuban food from here? I go, you are right. I do remember saying that. There's some pretentious shit that I would say.

And then I'm like, oh, my God, our car's been fucking stolen. So she's trying to find the police number. I just have a moment where I go, hold on, this is a car park lot for 50 businesses. maybe we got towed. So I call up who I can find owns the car park centre. I said, excuse me. We can't seem to find our car. We weren't.

It's been stolen. And she said, how long did you park there? I go, about three or four hours. We ate at the Cuban restaurant. Then we went for a swim. Then we went for a swim. You left the premises. So you've been told.

Then I said, what do you mean we've been told? There's no signs anywhere that say that. She goes, according to Florida state law, there is one sign. at the entrance, which is of the legal font, so obviously this happens all the time. Tiny little font that says, must be customer to park here.

Which is of the legal font. Of the legal, already cunt phrase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems really, it's of the legal font, sir. It's of the legal font, okay. One tiny little phrase there. And I go, so you're telling me you've taken my car?

Anica's next to me. She's like, calm down. I said, well, you... Why would you, you've towed my fucking vehicle, have you? She goes, yes, sir. Well, you know, it's our private property and you have absolutely no right to go for a swim on our dime. Then that's when I go into, and I know you've had many of these where you think,

if you could get back the audio of me on this phone call, I say things. There is some audio of me that would be career ending where I've gone fucking ballistic and customer service. Could I tell you where I started? I'll tell you where I started. This was insane. I said to the lady, are you a Christian? Oh, no.

And she says, what's that got to do with anything? I said, are you a Christian person? She goes, yes, I go, is this, I go, is this the behavior of one Christian to another Christian? Would you tow the car? Toe one to others as one would have towed. Toot to themselves. Yeah. She says, sir, you tried to steal from us by taking our car park.

I go, the thing's empty. It's completely empty. I ate a meal at one of the restaurants. You can't just tow someone's car. How about just a parking ticket? How about a parking? It gives us an opportunity. Oh, fuck, we were there for too long.

I'll pay $50. But to tow the car, in Australia, to get your car towed, it would have to be there for at least two days, blocking up valuable space. Yeah, the Australians would give you a ticket if you sneezed, but they wouldn't tow it, yeah. They wouldn't tow it yet. So they go, do you want the number of dolphin tow or not?

Oh, dolphin tow. Why the fuck are you trying to make the company sound fucking fun? Just call it what it is. ass fucking towing company. Like, the audacity to try and jazz up the business of towing people's cars away. Just. So dolphin tow. Oh, do I call up dolphin tow?

Dolphin tow. The guy who answers the phone, they're already as defensive as it comes. So he goes, Dolphin toe, what can I do for you? I said, mate, did you just tow a car today, a rental car, a Hyundai? he goes, the Tucson. Say, yeah, the Tucson. He goes, yep, we did.

And let me guess. You were getting lunch and you just went away for about 15 or 20 minutes. We heard it all before. Now, I didn't ask this man if he was a Christian. I said this. Mate, you know, toe people, you tow people, bottom of the fucking barrel,

scum of the earth. Scum of the earth. People in prison for violent crimes, I have more respect for than people tow drivers. Literal bottom feeding trash wandering around stealing people's cars. What on earth gives you the right to come in there and just take a car.

Cars meeting for three hours. You're a fucking scumbag, mate. Yeah, they're bottom fetters. Bottom feet. Then I said to him, I think I would respect you more if you were a fucking pedophile. You know what he does? He literally goes, he's obviously laughing.

He says to people in the show, Oh, this guy says he would rather if we were pedophiles. When I hear it back to my own ears, I'm like, it's fucking absurd for me. Now I'm essentially saying that I'm more pro pedophile than toe truck. Well, yeah, but with the pedophilia, you can block it out over the years. So I don't know. The toe thing, you'll always remember. What did you say to me?

Do you remember what you said about the pedophiles? You said at least pedophiles, for the most part, 90% of the time, something horrible happened to them in their youth and that's why they've got this disorder. It's not like this kid got his car towed as a child and his... And now he's decided to do it.

History repeats himself. I came back to the spot. It wasn't there. I guess I deserved it. I wasn't a great kid. I didn't have good grades. My dad must have been in the car that got towed away because he wasn't around either. So I said, I'll

tell other people because it's normal. and I honestly we go in there and this is this is the bit where the weakness of my bar. Don't clip up the pedophile bit, Jackie's already typing in. He's all over it. He loves that. He loves that. He wants my career to end so he can move on with his life. What do you reckon they charge you to get, to get your car back?

What do you reckon? Now, I was braced for $2,000. Yeah, I don't. 700 bucks. So the guy after I've caught him a pedophile and he's laughing at my rage, he goes, do you just want to know where you can get the car or not? Okay, you can call me all the names in the sun. Hey, go on our Yelp.

You're not alone. It must make you bulletproof, though, having that job. 1.5, Dolphin Toe on Yelp. He goes, do you want to know a way to get it or not? So he gives me the address. Who's reviewing a tow company on Yelp? Because this is the thing is like, I've been illegally parked before and had a much better experience.

Well, I mean, I hate these cunts with everything inside me, but $210 it was. And that's where, when it was $210, I said, A, a ticket would be cheaper for you guys. The fuel it must take to pick up the car, take the car back, drag it along. It's hardly fucking worthwhile. Well, then I'm looking up the Yelp reviews. You know what the Yelp reviews say, which is just so funny? The Yelp reviews go, yeah, the owner of the tow truck company also owns the parking lot. It's a massive conspiracy, and I've gone to the council about it many times.

Wait for this one. The kids that work at Burger King are paid spotter fees, and that any time someone leaves their car on the premises, the kids at Burger King will usually tip off the tow company and they get kickbacks. Now I'm involved in Miami-Dade County conspiracy Facebook pages. about the others of this. That was one of the weakest episodes of Miami Vice ever. That's why I got this. Crockets and Tubbs. It was the grossest, I mean, going to one of these, by the way,

keep in mind, I've said, you know, you guys are fucking scumbags, your pedophiles, you're a piece of shit. You know, the car was hardly left and you've towed it, blah, blah, blah. It definitely said some stuff about how America's full of scumbags, and this wouldn't happen in Australia, probably. They didn't obviously take to that. Who went and got the car? My fiancé.

Yeah, of course. Of course, you send her in. So I said, I'll go get the car. She goes, no, no, I'm going to get it because you were so crazy on the phone. You're probably going to get into an altercation in there. So she walks through. She told me when she got in there, they've got two security buzzer doors. The first door, apparently they check out to see whether you're fucking in a rage.

Yeah, yeah. Then you get let to the next door. And then also one of them doesn't let you out. If you say, fuck you, they can lock you in there. Correct. And then if you pay the money, you get to buzz through the next door where your car is and you drive out the back. Is that, legitimately, the scummiest of jobs? Why just not a...

Yeah, yeah, it's right up there. Why not just a ticket? I have a mate who a fucking Tesla went through his house, went through the wall of his house. right he's his roommate he's a comedian his roommate was in the other room and if he was sitting at his desk would be dead right and he just like gone out to the bathroom and then a Tesla just went through his fucking room the whole house rattles he's in the living room what the fuck you know the car goes through the fucking house anyway they're shaking up and they're trying to like and then a tow truck driver arrives there before the cops as they do right ready to go tow truck

driver. He's ready to go. He's already loading up the fucking car. The guy's, like, house is ruined. The guy's house is ruined. There's a hole in the fucking thing. And he's like, hey, hey, hey, just, just wait. The cops, I want the cops to see. And the drive and the car's like, it was the auto drive, but he wasn't paying attention. The auto drive would have never done that, right? Anyway, they're towing the truck away. And he's like, hey, can you just wait for the cops? And the guy was like, fuck you, buddy. Let fuck off. Or I'm doing it. fucking, like doing that to him. And you're like, come on, man.

The guy's house just has a hole put in it. I'll tell you a funny story about emergency services. If tow truck drivers were trained as paramedics, it would probably be better for the system. They could save your life because they're quicker and they clear the road. When I was at 18, 19, I know because I had my shitty $400 car, I was driving back from my bar job in Sydney. And I was driving back and there was a tree had caught.

on fire from the power lines or whatever, but a tree had, and then it moved to another little tree, and it was about to move to the house. And I, if I can see this, I park my car up because it's like four in the morning, right? Still pitch dark, right? Four in the morning, I'm coming back from a bar job. And I just go banging on the door, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, and I get this family. I'm like, get out of your fucking house. Like this, they think I'm some psycho. I go, there's a fire. Get out of your fucking house. And then the next thing, like, I'm a hero. The next thing I do is ring AAA, which is our 911, right? And I ring AAA, the emergency services like this.

And I'm on the phone, I go like this. Okay, I'm on the corner of fucking, uh, on Witsitt and fucking, uh, and Burberry. And, uh, there's this fucking tree that, I don't know how it's fucking caught on fire. And the, and the girls like this, if you're going to keep swearing. Is it the British police? I'm like, you're the emergency. I don't think the house is on fire, mate. You're the emergency horn.

Surely you've heard people who are hysterical. I had to hang up, like all bad customer service. Ring back in until I found someone that was comfortable with the way I spoke. Yeah, dude. Imagine like that kind of like political correctness on the battlefield. One of those guys. I've been hit. I'm bleeding out.

I'm in pain. Give me some fucking morphine. Just, no swearing? Just please. I'm just trying to do my job. May I please get some morphine? Yeah, yeah. I don't get paid enough to be spoken to like that.

It turns out, I'll tell you who gets paid enough to be spoken to like that. All comedians. Because you imagine if you were heckling, you're fucking shit. Excuse me, I'm at my place of work right now. I don't need to be spoken to like this. I don't get paid enough to be spoken to. I've seen some crowd work to that level. But I'll tell you what really pissed me off.

I was flying home. I was flying home today and was talking about it with the misses. And I was only able to now sort of laugh about it. And what really bothers me about the tow truck situation is, is particularly knowing that there's the, so there's all the stores that are restaurants that I went and dined at. Okay. I went and dined at. And yes, I did leave my car for a few hours to have a swim. Okay.

ultimately what's happened there in my brain when I process it it is the closest I think you can get to being caught like a fish which is you've been looted in with food I've gone into the Cuban I've been distracted by the food you've been put on the deck and you've been hit over the head with the shovel and then literally a hook has taken my vehicle and ripped it out of there So they have a scheme where they pull you in with food. They make it seem as it's safe.

They disguise it because they hide the sign that says you'll get towed and they fucking yank your car out of there. It makes you feel like a loser. What do you reckon the Burger King kids get as a kickback per car? 20 bucks? Oh, yeah, I'd say, yeah, $10 to $20. That's not a bad little side earn. Yeah, yeah, if you do three of them a shift.

Fucking rats, mate. Burger King rats. McDonald's wouldn't do that. Little fucking rat fucks. Little rat fucks. We're talking to you, Burger King employees of Florida. So that's it. Also Florida, look, here's my overall take, which is like, obviously at the high end,

I guess if you're rich, it's a wonderful place to go. On the low end, I don't know, maybe. That's America. It's a scummy. If you've got money, it's a bit of fun if you're poor. The American dream is you can achieve anything, but if you don't do it, you're fucked. You're fucked. I mean, one of their mottoes as a country,

live free or die. Well, nothing's for free. It's hard to live and you're going to die. And you have the right to pursue happiness. Not many people make it. Go chase away. So that's America for you. To any of our friends, family,

supporter groups coming over from Europe, the UK, Scotland. I saw a bunch of Scottish fans coming in. Enjoy America. look where you park. These dogs will take your car and get out there and enjoy a crumbles shake. Yeah, and everything you order,

order the small. Order the small. Order the small. And go to Waffle House. Go to Waffle House. Well, that's the podcast. Look, we're going to record another podcast in, we're going to try to record another one

during the World Cup on our phones while we're away. That'll be something we'll do probably from Tacoma in the casino there in Seattle. And so we'll see you then. I guess the next one, Australia would have played. One of the games. One of the games already played. Yeah, one of the games is already done.

All right. Good night, Australia. Good night, pie lovers. Go socceroos. Let's do it.