I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 65 - New World Cup Chants

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

At this moment, Jim and Amos are in a hotel in Tacoma, WA and pitch new chants to use at World Cup matches. They also cover the recent UFC fight at the White House and the prevention of a new shooter.SOCIALS:Jim JefferiesWebsite: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠Amos GillIG: @abitofamosgillFB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the DoohickeysSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hello, pie lovers. We're coming to you from a hotel in Seattle on our World Cup road trip. It's been a wonderful trip so far. We've already been to Vancouver where one of the most amazing moments in Australian sporting history happened. Then we ducked down here to Seattle, whereupon we've only had a day out, really. We're out at the Emerald Green Casino and we've been coming in and out of Seattle. We've had a little day out today.

We went and saw the baseball and we went and ate fish and chips down near the Water. Would I call it an underrated city? I've never thought much of it. I love Seattle. Unbelievable joint. Truly, if you're an Australian person and you're teetering on the brink right now, should we just spend more time in Vancouver?

Vancouver's a banger too. Wherever we talked about this, is like when Australians come to North America, it's always I'll go to L.A., and then we'll go to Disneyland and we might go down to Orlando. Then Vegas at the end. Vegas. And we'll do a separate trip where you go to New York. in 10 years time. Right?

That's it. And it's like there's so many like Nashvilles and New Orleans and places to go. But Seattle is one of them. San Diego is a great one. But yeah, Vancouver, beautiful city. We were staying in a hotel. We were watching the planes landing on the water. Terrible tragedy.

But we didn't let it get to us. The sea planes aren't as interesting as what we saw. Oh, yeah, yeah. You think they're going to crash. They don't. They just land beautifully. So everybody. We don't want to do just exclusive World Cup content.

I do. Jim does. And we do have to do a short one here because we've got a kid in another room. And Hank's also in Jim's room. Yeah, oh yeah. And we're paying by the hour. So we've got to be brief, but Jim did nail it. One of the most unbelievable.

My voice is still shot. I lost my voice. We screamed and screamed. You, if you look at Amos's social media, you'll see that all day. Like, if you think that he was doing those on the spare of the moment, he had all these football chance that he'd come up with, he's been riding them for weeks, thinking about them constantly, trying them out on me,

going, what do you think about this one? And I'm like, that'll get you arrested. That's a hate crime. That one's so good. Antica is so sick of me calling out. I go, hi, babe. She's like, what's up? I go, oh, Turkish men.

Oh, awful hair. If Turkish people were slightly darker, you would have been arrested. You were just in that sweet spot. Well, I was accused of racism. No. You would you believe it? Yeah. So I put out this video of me chanting in the stadium while drunk.

Yes. I've long loved the British people for their chance. Their chance, there's a meme that I love that says American fans will go, defense, defense. And the British fans will say, all right, lads, I've whipped up a little chant to the theme of Clarede-Loon. about the opposition strikers DUI charge. Take it away. One, two, three. There's a lot of work that gets put in there.

Well, if you've watched, like, the UK supporters coming over to America, the big one has been the Scottish people going to Fenway Park to see the Boston Red Sox and taking over the job. And they've mostly been singing, Uh, I, Kenbergie, can you burghie? And for some reason, the English just loved to sing Sweet Caroline, which... Either way... It has nothing to do with the Brits.

They do unbelievable. American song. American Jewish fellow wrote and sang that song. Nothing to do with it. They come over to America and they sing it at the Americans. So I've always been like, I think it's funny to be the one lone man in the crowd that's actually put some writing into these. Well, you put effort in.

I will give you that. We weren't seated in the Australian corner. We were all with Turks. We were surrounded by Turks, right? They were giving me quotes on the back of me head going, you could transfer those very easily. It was fun, though, great atmosphere. It was great to take me boy there. It was the only time I've ever heard Australians sing.

I don't believe I've ever heard Australian sing. They all sang Land Down Under, which is very rare for Australians. So here's what happened, though. So the day of the game, I went viral in Istanbul because I'm doing a show there. Yes. And so I picked up like... Someone had translated my comedy. Translated your routines into Turkish.

And the people of Turkey went. these jokes are all right. The Turks, we love this guy. We're going to go watch him in Turkey. Amos has the type of humour you can understand in Pigeon English. So the Turkish people have joined my page quite recently. The next piece of content they see, other than my Donald Trump routine that has translated to Turkish,

was this video I posted, which was my chance at the Turkish game. Now I'm going to read out some of the quotes, okay? So my chance were, they were pretty simple. One was, you're just a shit grease. You're just a shit grease. Oh, Turkey, you're just a shit grease. Yeah, so you're just a shit grease. Okay, what happens at the World Cup is when you show up to the football,

you don't just go to the gate. They make you walk along walks so they can catch you all on camera, and they can do you through several security things. But you enter way outside the stadium, right? Way outside the stadium. And then once you've entered in, you can roam around the area in the stadium. And so you have to walk, I would say we walked over. a mile.

Oh, yeah, maybe more. Maybe two miles, right? We had to walk from where we met all the Australian fans. We walked down the street. It's wonderful. You all feel like in unison. You're marching along the streets. And at one stage, we passed the Turkish rower fans.

And there was a little bit like the sharks and the jets seeing each other. Ooh, it's all going on. And then Amos starts with, you're just a shit Greek. You're just a shit Greece. Right. And look, a few people had a giggle, and I thought I might get this thing cranked on. Well, not just that. He got about, I'll give you credit where credit's due.

You had about 20 people singing it along with you. One of the great feelings of my way. And then, you know, you should have stuck with it. But then you thought, the greed of the man, right? Rather than going, I've done a chant that others want to be involved with, you went, you like that one. See what else I have. And then you just overwhelmed them.

Like a rich kid with too many presents. presents of Christmas. I'm not going to play with all of them. I'm always amazed that the English seem to have like 30 songs and they're fresh. So I'm looking at... Yeah, but they work it out beforehand. They're in supporter clubs and stuff like that. Well, we don't have a group.

That's my problem. So I'm trying to get everyone going with some of these other chance. So I put out the other one which was your most successful. That was my most successful. Then I had this one, which was, We may not win, but we will not lose. Our defense is tighter than the Straits of Hormuz. The Straits of Hormuz.

Straits of Hamoos, you've got more chance. Going through the streets of Hamoes. Now, I understand that one more for when we play against America because we are at war with Iran and Iran run the Straits of Hormuz. But you were saying that to the Turks. To the Turks, because I was just letting the Turks know that we've got a tight defense. We were lost. We got a tight defense.

This is all I was trying to say. Your defense is looser than Bonnie Blue. See? Yeah, it's all works. We can all do it. Yeah. Although, Anika did say to me, she goes, You've only got one tune.

Oh. Yeah, you did that. Well, I tried to give you one on the American flag, which I thought was more PC-friendly, but you're more for upsetting people and mentioning war. Mine are all just war. So my point being, I pulled that one out. Then there was some guys dressed. He's got loads about Jeffrey Epstein for the American one.

Yeah, I do. All he's done is Jeffrey Epstein this, Jeffrey Epstein that. You're fucking, you go on. If you sat next to me at the baseball today, there was an autistic man who was singing about Jeffrey Epstein to himself quietly all game. Yeah, you were going for it. We went to the baseball and to see the Seattle Mariners versus Baltimore. And then there was a whole lot of people doing Bert Kreischer up in the stand.

Not just like 10 guys. If you go to my social media, if you listen to today, I put it on my story. It started off with like 10 guys that were shirtless just going around like that. And then other men in the stadium went, that looks like fun. Us included. No, no, we thought they were Sokaroos fans. We thought it was all the Sokaroo fans because the Scottish took over Fenway Park. I thought the Australians were trying to make themselves known by getting shirtless.

So we thought, we'll go up there. I took my 13-year-old son. We're going to go get shirtless with men. We ran 150 metres. We had to go up four fucking stands. To just end up around young lads taking their shirts off. No Aussie accent detected. Singing USA, USA.

And we went, yeah, this is the gayest thing we've ever done. We've got to get out of here, man. It was just some Burt fans, some frat boys. That it's like, you know how you get the wave started? A few of you have a game. go and then the rest of you get involved and then you go, all right, we'll all get involved. But anyway, Australia... I want to tell you what happened with the Turks.

Okay, well, I know about that. My thing is, there's obviously some argy-bargy. For Americans who don't understand, Australia has what is a foundational event in the forming of our national identity, which is the Battle of Gallipoli. This is a World War II conflict. And the story essentially goes, the Ottoman Empire, which is the Turks. Yes. In the Straits of the Dardanelles there, Churchill decides, because he's the leader of the

Admiralty at this point, that they're going to do an attack that goes through Ottoman lands, and they land and choose... Operation Human Shield or something. Basically, they sent a bunch of Australian and New Zealanders, which is the Anzaks, Australian-New Zealand Army Corps, to have to climb up this rock, high cliff face beach, which was a suicide mission, which was an absolute disaster. And it cost Churchill his position at the time as head of the Aboriginal. While the English landed on the other side, we were a distraction.

We were just cannon fodder. At one stage, we were told to just jump out of our trenches and run towards it. If you see the movie Gallipoli with Mel Gibson, that'll give you a fairly good. So that's the Australian idea. Gallipoli is this idea of Australians, which is still... We have to have Dawn Services for Anzac Day because that was when the attack happened. And so we have to wake up early just for that experience. So we have a thing with the Turks about that.

And it's, at this point, quite good-natured, because Aussies will still go over to Gallipoli and the Turks put a service on for us and say, oh, yes, very brave soldiers, they were. Yeah. But right under the surface, with a few beers, there's a bit of bad terms. No, no, no, no, I'm still angry about it. Still angry about it. It's going to come out. If you watch the movie Gallipoli, you'll get fired up.

You're not going to be happy about what happened. No, it was a tragedy. It was a tragic thing to happen in War. War's terrible things. These blokes were dressed as Sultans. We're winning two-neal. And the amount of shit the Turks ran their mouth saying Australians were useless at football. They've got superior talent.

Arda Gula was saying that essentially they were going to walk all over us. So to shut them up, it was good. They had top strikers, right? It was good feeling. We had a team that average age was 22. So our team was very, very young. So I start running my mouth. And we were the unknown.

I'm filming and there's guys dressed as sultans so I started singing they are the sulkans they're the sulkans of swing yeah that was a good one that was a good one that's a bit of a bit he's working out a dire straight song

the sultons of swing most people won't know what that is in so long right the sultan of swing actually came from babe Ruth did it? Yeah the sultan of swing so these were the sulkens of swing

now I put all this online To be fair, I'm Hammond at this time. I wake up, it's gone viral, and I'm getting all these messages from Aussies who are like, you're the man, buy this man a beer. But what I'm also getting is messages from my new Turkish fan. I'm getting, I've got a promoter in Turkey who says, what's happening? We're getting a deluge of emails saying that this guy shouldn't be led into the country. Yeah, yeah.

Some of them were. Let's read some of these comments, Jim. Yeah, the mean spirit. Some of these comments. They weren't taken in good jest. Now, a lot of the comments are just pictures of the Greek flag. Yeah, that's fine. I could tour Greece right now.

Yeah, they love you. The Greeks loving me. They're not watching the World Cup. They're happy to have you. Okay, then the top comment is Ozzie's getting back at Turkey for the sacking of Constantinople and for Gallipoli. I'm here for it. This man is a true slouch hat soldier.

Then there's a comment from a Turkish person. Slavchat is Australian hats have one side flopped up, pinned up. One comment. Are you proud of yourself, you kangaroo maggot? The top comment from an Australian person says, you should ask that question to your fucking dog shit football team. Okay. Then this bloke goes,

it's where we all come together. This will we come together. This guy goes, this is where it starts to get quite a little bit scary. One of them says, here we go. A bully provokes to get attention. But what this poor low IQ Australian man gets in return is just,

pure ignorance. He does not matter much to them. He is an aunt. That is right, an aunt who will one day be stomped for the great Ottoman nation. Wish you a happy life, but will be short life. Then I wrote back to him, I don't think this works as a chant or I'm not understanding the melody. Yeah. He did not enjoy that one. Here's the last one I want to read. This guy writes, you are a British slave dog trying to provoke us, great Turkish people. Even your miserable grandfather couldn't make it onto our shitty land, Aussie, cry more next time. Yeah, that's true. But it's like, we're here.

So our granddad's did obviously make it. Yeah, our granddad's made it. People aren't born. Their granddads didn't make it. Yeah, you're having a dig at people who can't exist on a timeline. Yeah, my granddad made it up there. Of course you did. Actually, it would have been my great-grandfather.

None of my family ever went to war. We all had hills spurs. So then someone said to me, this is what happened with Pauline Hansen taking over Australia, which is our right-wing policy. politician that this guy feels comfortable. And I didn't say anything racist there at all. And then I got on the front foot on that one and said, now the Ottoman Empire, if you're a Croatian person, which I am,

and I'm wearing... It's just an empire about putting your feet up. Hey, that's why they lost the empire. They got lazy. They enslaved my people. And the word slave comes from us, the Slavs. So I'm in this very weird position as a white person where I go, no, no, no.

You can't, I can attack a Turkish group of people. And they can't say, your white privilege is on. The last time I saw those socks, you had a house on top of you, didn't you? What's this? That's the Wizard of Oz. Those curly feet after she takes them off, they curl up. What the fucking garish? Anika hates these socks as well.

It's a, it's a zebra on its period. I'm just trying to find as much, like, red-white, Croatian stuff as I can get. Yeah, okay. Anyway, so my point is... You've been trying to buy a Sokeroos jersey. for days. Everywhere you go into doesn't have your size. I know, they've sold out it.

You would have thought that they would stock more jerseys. Well, they had them at the stadium, but you didn't want to line up to get them at the stadium. This time you'll have to line up to get them at the stadium. Would you like... The next game against USA is at midday, which means realistically you have to leave at 9 a.m. to get into the stadium and go through all that.

Well, here's, and here's my point. I really didn't give two shits about Turkey. It was just unbelievable to get the win. Oh, it was okay. So in case you didn't see, Australia, one, two zip. We had 29% of the possession. We just sat back and on the fast break just off we went. Irocunda, 20-year-old lad,

plays for a Sudanese refugee lad who plays for Watford, but he's on to bigger things. It was unbelievable. Every time he touched the ball, he made him nervous. He's going to be a real star at this World Cup. But the whole team played great. And also it was one of those things that when they selected the team, Popovich, our manager,

everyone was like, he's lost his fucking if we lost, he was an idiot. One of the coaches' sons was put on and so they thought that was... Assistant coach's son, like actually the junior name of the person, he's actually saying, but his name is Paul O'Con and his son's name's Paul O'Con, blah blah

junior, which means that he's a pussy wits, the older Paul Warg. Anytime you get the name that goes Bada bum, butabum, like that. Shane, Gilges, Alexander. Okay, that's fine. The two of you want to put the name.

And I'm saying this... Mum's a feminist. I'm saying this is a person who my wife didn't take my name. I didn't make my wife take either of my names, the real one or the... I do look down on you for it. Yeah, but I don't think that a woman should have to change a name with that. But if my wife was like, she has to have my name, fine. But they're kind of like, oh, we have to have double-barreled names to make both of us feel like, do-do-do-do-do-do.

It's always, you know, whose kids always have that? Whenever... Gosh. A couple of professional. professors have kids. Oh, yeah, yeah. So my name's Winston Howell. What do you think of mixed...

Did I just say Winston Howell's... Where is that from? Oh, Gilligan's Island. There you go. What do you think of this one? So, like, my name's Gil. Yes. Anika's last name is Pettinghouse.

Yeah. And she's like, I'm not giving up mine. Like, my name's like aristocratic German, you're scum. She doesn't say that, but that's the subtext that I get. That's what she thinks. We all know she's thinking. That's what she thinks. So I propose this.

What about Gillinghouse? He's like, shut the window. Turn on the ovens. What do you think of Gillinghouse? You're going to bang him together? You know, you just make a brand new one. Just let your Mrs. Hatttinghouse. It'll make it so much easier in the paperwork when you get divorced.

Well, no, but no, that's not for our kids. You know those ones who gets divorced and then they just keep the name? Yeah. My mum did that because my mum's last name, she didn't want the creation name, so she just took my dad's Anglo name and moved on with it. Yeah, yeah. She kept Gill. So what I mean to say is I want a son called Walden.

And I don't think he can be called Gill. He has to have a German sounding there. Why not Wolfgang Gillie, Gillie, gilly, gilly, gilly, whishwash, Wolfgang Gilli, Wolfgang Gill. You don't want to have Wolfgang Gill. I think Wolfgang Gillinghouse sounds... Okay, I know this is a terrible thing to say, but you've got to think about it this way. Okay, so if your daughter came home and said, hey, I'm dating a guy, and he said, what's his name? And he went, Wolfgang Gill, would you be all right with Wolfgang Gill?

No, no, Wolfgang Gill sounds... listen, he sounds Austrian or something. Wolfgang Gill. I like that. Wolfgang Jeffries. Wolfgang Jeffries. Wolfgang Nugent.

Wolfgang Gil. It's an immense name. Wolfgang. Why are they not more wolfgangs? And obviously, Australians would call him Wolfie. Why don't you call him full and then Tudor as his middle name?

Fool to the Gill. Yeah. A bit of fun. His whole name is a pun that almost works. Yeah. If your last name was Gills, it would be very funny. So here's the thing, America, USA. This is the big game.

It is. You're a dual citizen. America's been talking real shit. That Lexi Lawless or whatever. Alexi La Las. But it's Grella. It's Grella that's talking all the match shit. He's always there going, oh, it's a layup there.

Yeah, no, no. They don't have to worry about Australia like this. Worry about Australia. We'll give you a fucking game, I tell you. You mark my words. We will be back here on a podcast. next week with our tail between our legs if we get thumped. Do I think we'll win?

I don't know. I think it'll be a draw personally, but I think we have a chance of winning. So here's... I'm very encouraged by what I saw. America played probably the best game of football out of... Except for the Germans who got their seven goals. America's performance against Paraguay was pretty elite. Well, here's the chance I've got for America.

Okay. And you wanted to get involved only because my first one went viral, and you've jumped on a good thing. I would like, I'm not stupid. I'm not stupid, but I don't want to get involved with any. The problem is you've got too much to lose, and you're a citizen, so you can't go as hard as I can. Yeah, my kids go to school, and I have to see teachers and parents.

So we're going to go through the list that I've written. Yeah. And tell me what chance we've got of these being picked up. Okay. So it's, he's one of your own. He's one of your own. Jeffrey Epstein, he's one of your own. Now, I'm not anti-exeastern.

that one. That one's not a bad one. But I do, I'm with your wife, your fiance. We're gold. We're green. You're Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, that's a bit different rhythm. Yeah, we're gold, we're green. You've got Jeffrey Epstein.

Right? You know. So you think that one's going to chance. What about, you shot the sheriff but please do not deport the referee. Yeah, it's, you know what? It's getting a little bit far away from news story of when the referee didn't get in

and by the time the game happens, people would be like, what's he talking about? It was a referee that didn't get in? Deport. Deport. And we've got the ball. Where the foreigners in the country. Yes, and we're like, as in like deporters.

You know what I mean? Like, that's all you've got. No, no. I'm with your Epstein one. Okay. Just pay your stuff. Just pay your stuff. We won't be tipping for beers at the half.

I agree with that. When you go by a very, in a stadium and they're asking for a buck a drink or two bucks a drink and you're like, you're making so much. Oh, mate. Like, if they're all getting their tips, man. I got an ice cream today for $23 at Mariners Stadium. Mariners State, okay, I've got to talk to you about that.

Every, okay, if you've never been to America, every city has its own hot dog. It's just decided it has its own hot dog. California, saying, L.A. has a bacon-wrapped hot dog with peppers and onions is the one. Chicago has one that has sliced tomatoes in it for some reason and like I think, but Seattle dog, never had the Seattle dog fucking winner, winner, Seattle dinner. It was basically like a Croatian chavapi sandwich because it's cream cheese.

Cream cheese smeared on both sides of the bun. The buns heated up. The hot sauce and onions. And then they put his dog in onions and a little bit of hot sauce. It's a banger, the Seattle dog. Winner. That's the best one. Okay. Anyway, next chance.

Next chance. Now tell me if this one's, this is too harsh. Yeah, well, okay. So there's a famous song that the Americans, so that the Brits sing about the Germans. Called the German bombers. Yeah, okay. So I think this one might get me deported.

Okay. Okay, you know, this is, mate, is it too highbrow and too lowbrow at the same time? So this, that's the problem. It's too hard to understand and it's too simplistic to bother with. It's just, Yankee Doodle went to school. He killed more kids than Coney.

You elected Donald Trump. He is a fucking phony. Yeah, you kill more kids than COVID. Coney. Yeah, no, but COVID might be a funnier way to go. Okay, all right. That's fine. Donald Trump is a Pito.

So, okay, this is the one that we really liked, which was, there were four Yankee bombers in the air. In the air. There were four Yankee bombers in the air. In the air. There were four Yankee bombers, four Yankee bombers, four Yankee bombers, four Yankee bombers in the air.

In the air. And the Ayatollah of Irani shot them down. But the Ayatollah of Irani shot them down. No, no, no. But the Iranian Ayatollah, Iranian Ayatollah, Iranian Ayatola, Iranian Ayatola, Iranian Ayatola shot them. them down, who now there's zero bombers in the air. I'm a citizen.

I'm a citizen. You're offended me. You don't want to be involved. You know who I am, right? You know where I live. You want to talk about aircraft being shot down from the sky. You're fucking nasty man. Nasty, man.

Sol of soldiers died. Free Iran, free Iran, free Iran, free Iran. Free Iran, free Iran. The thing is, no one's really... No one's not into Iran. Even in Iran, Iran played against New Zealand and they didn't get that much support. They didn't get that one. Now, I'm not really endorsing all of the politics.

It's what Americans don't understand in other cultures? You're trying to shit-st-do. So I'll tell you one of the... It's just Britain, isn't it, in Australia? One of the great ones was I support Fulham. And when I lived in Britain, Fulham was owned by Muhammad Al-Fayette. Muhammad Al-Fayette is better known as Doty Alfayette's father, but he owned Harrods. And he owned Fulham Fulham.

football club. And because he said that his son was murdered by the royal family, even though this guy employed 10,000 people, paid shit tons in taxes and was a billionaire, he could never get himself a British passport. He applied many, many times. For some reason, he always got stopped like he wasn't to get one, Muhammad Alfred. So he was also a very egotistical man. He was the only owner that would walk out in the pitch and walk around the stadium, like getting applause from people, right? But the away fans, and God bless them, the Brits, the way fans would all bring their passports. Now, I

hate having my passport on a meal the best of times, but just for a joke for when the man walked by, they all went, roar, roar! You'll never get that. You'll never get that. Doty fired, you'll never get that. Well, Doty's never going to get it. Oh, yeah, Muhammad's over.

I think Doty, if Doty, there was a rumor that Diana was pregnant with Doty. Really? He would have gotten it. He was, going to get there. You don't impregnate Princess Diana and not get a fucking passport, I tell you. Take it from a man

who's that experience. Tell us right now if you think we should go with any of them. I'm going to go with them. You won't. Okay, the last one was, your health care's a joke. Your health care's a joke. Please don't hurt our boys. You'll send them broke. Yeah, that's good. I'm in for that. Do the flag one that I wrote.

You do the way. It's yours. I go, I go. Too many stars. Too many stripes. Your flag is too busy. It hurts my eyes. that's all you need to do. That's fun. It gets to the point.

The American flag is too busy. Yeah, as I go further and down my list, they start to lose any melody. It's like this. It's Colin Powell lied. Iraqis died. It's like, that's not good. Where are the weapons?

Where are the weapons, George? Iraqis are dead in the streets. Yeah. Why don't you do the theme song to Gilligan's Island, but Epstein Island? and then change the lyrics. That'll be a good one. Now, there's one that I really like,

which if we edit this, we'll end on this. You have to tell me, Forrest told me this was unacceptable. Okay, well, Farrow... But then all the Australian friends I haven't thought it was hilarious. No, you can't do that.

It's not going to be good. He goes, yeah, great, great one. That's going to be a great move. It's going. It goes... They're tall, they're quick. You brought them on a ship. You're black guys.

You're black guys. You can't do that. It's factual, but you can't do it. It's because you said your, then you still have ownership because you say you're, no. Because I'm saying America, you, you, the act of slavery is what I'm saying. Yeah, but then, okay, but you don't understand, all right. What you're saying is factual, but, okay, would you be offended

if the Americans came to Australia for a sporting event and then they went, genocide genocide where's your aborigals you did a genocide you stole their kids yeah stole their kids yeah actually we did

enjoy that I'd probably go like that's fair-minded commentary we did some pretty cruel stuff Fair-minded commentary I can I'm so much woker in my songs I'm like yeah

get straight to the point every country gets all their sins brought out in simple rhyme I can it just be about the football though why do you have to well that's true

I have no You may notice not one positive song. Why are you yelling a hundred-year-old fucking daily show? Well, okay, I have one good one for these socceroos, which is Jackson Irvine. Yeah, that's just rhyming the note. That's your one good one, is it?

Give us a bit of, you only sing when you're winning and all that type of stuff. You smoke and crack in the morning. Crack in the morning. We're in Seattle. No, they don't, they do fence. No, no, they're not a crack town. I don't think they're a crack town.

Although at my gig in Vancouver the other day, whilst I was on stage, we did two shows. Both shows, by the way, Canada always a joy, never a problem. Fantastic audiences. During the first one, my son was sitting backstage, the fire alarm went off. And it was because several people were smoking crack in the bathroom. Not weed.

Crack. Crack. Glass barbecues. Yeah, a few of them, because they said there was the staff, I think exact words were, one crack pipe isn't enough to set off the alarm. That's good for further notice. If you're a crackhead, do it in shifts.

Do it alone. It's not a team sport. Well, you know, pass it on to your friend. Do it in a circle. Why are you all lighting up a pipe at once? Isn't it a communal thing, the crack pipe? Imagine, can that, like, Vancouverite theatre people? Yeah.

It's beautiful theatre. But like how open... It was the Queen Elizabeth Theatre. How open-minded and progressive they are. Yeah. So when you're on stage, they came and told me, they go, well, you know, it was multiple crack pipes being small. And I go, oh, yeah, it's just some bloke's having some fun on the see-through didgeridoo.

Yeah. Which is just that that's an Australian expression. We all figured it pretty quick. Yeah. The see-through-didgerid. And she goes, the what? I go, the see-through-did-didoo. I go, it's an Australian pastime.

You get on the glass barbecue, see-through-diddery-did-dry-doo. Oh, I thought that was a Star Wars robot. See through did we do? Yeah, that's good. Yeah, okay. I just really got it to the point where she, I don't know if she believed me, but I was this close to saying,

like it's a cultural thing. No, I don't think it was Australians. Do you think it was Australians that had come out for the World Cup but also have a crack habit? Do you think there's people in Australia that have crack habits and are still really good savers?

Good savers, They can still save a bit of money. They can still... Follow a group I did. You know how organised you have to be to get to the World Cup trip? Yeah, the group trip. Just going, all right.

All right. Hey, Betty. I'm just going to miss this next bit. I've heard him tell this Jake before. I know the crack people too. I saw him. They were running around like mad. And they came and spoke to me and going,

well, you that guy, that was on fast? Oh, were they? I don't know what they were. They just had crack accent. Crack accent, Australian. Oh, I think they had a lot of, like, tweaky. And I go, go and watch the show.

You're missing it. And they're like this. oh I'm just feeling it they were running around the lobby at this point I hadn't heard about the see-through didgeridoo I just thought that you'd put him into a good mood no the alarm was going the alarm was going fucking crazy

and I just you know it's just like smoke alarms in your house and I think I said at stage I'd rather just burn to death wouldn't you then find out what's going on we should also talk about away from our sport the world game we had the UFC

250 in front of the White House. Dana White walking out with Trump a big thing. A couple of comedians, Gwent, people have got a lot of opinions on that. There's,

but one of the fighters, not even the main card, was he? I actually don't. I haven't, a hand-on heart since the Conn-Mogregor fall off. I'm not much of a UFC guy. I like boxing. I don't like UFC.

It's too much rolling around on the ground and grappling for me, right? I watch the end of the fight. I know people love it. It's just, it's never caught me. I've tried, I've tried. It's just, it's like Motley crew. I don't get it.

I'll wander in for a big one with my mates here and there and eat chicken wings at 11 a.m. in Australia and have a few beers and go, what have I done? This is wiped out a day. I don't mind the atmosphere here and there. But I must say that. People love it. Just not for me.

For the front of Washington, the White House there. They had motorbikes jumping. Nitro circus. It was idiocracy at its fucking finest, that movie. If they put that on in the movie, in the movie idiocacy, if the president went, now we're going to have motorbikes jumping out the front of the White House. Woo! Like that, that scene would have been too much for that film.

It is if a young kid was the president. It's like Richie Rich type film. It's bizarre. And when I first saw the billboard, I was like, at the White House, what? What do you mean at the White House? I did see a tweet that sum this up there, which said, America now is truly in two different worlds. So people who I follow were either saying,

this is a travesty, this is the degradation of the, you know, waspy, classy idea of the president and the, you know, that history of the button down president, the fact that Barack Obama wore a tan suit and they said he brought shame to the office. Remember that? Yes. And now Donald Trump has a UFC fighter who,

after he wins his match, says Michelle Obama has a cock. Yeah, now this is weird to me. Now, even if that's what you think, is that the time to spread that platform? Do you not have Twitter, mate? Do you not have any social media media? That's a Reddit one, that one. Yeah, why can't you just type that out?

You feel like the whole world's listening to you. That's what he's got to say. Yeah, I know what I have to get out. Obviously, it's not true as well. And Trump doesn't believe that. Trump got into Candice Owen for saying that Michelle. No, no, no, he said Brigitte Macron's a beautiful woman. Oh, he said that her.

Okay. So he's never denied Michelle. He just said that the Frenchman... Richard McGrane, she's actually a beautiful woman. I think Michelle Obama. And, you know, Brigitte Macron's so much pretty than Candace. Okay, okay, but he's never denied... Okay, because Trump said a lot of things about Obama over the years.

Obama must fucking hate Trump. Must just sometimes... He must just turn on his TV and go, what the fuck happened? What's happened? Well, here's what happened. Oh, we know what happened. No, no, Donald Trump did a peace deal with Persia

and then had gladiators fighting in his front lawn. Yeah. It does feel we are thousands of years in the past. If Trump, I don't even watch it, if he did that, it would not surprise me. Did he do that? If he did a stay of execution on someone? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A talent show. for death row. Maybe that's his next thing. People on death row do a talent show. You know what I don't like about the whole Michelle Obama or the French president's wife is a man? And then it's like people like, prove it. No. First of all, Michelle Obama,

she has two daughters who look a lot like her. Yeah. Very similar looking. Big Mike. That's what they say. Big Mike. That's who it is. What? That's her name. Big Mike. That's who they think. That's the conspiracy. Her name's Big Mike?

Yeah, you haven't seen this? No, I don't want to see it. No, they don't go. It's like, they say that Big Mike became Michelle. Right. And Big Mike became Michelle. And how did she birth children? Oh, then they're like adopted or something.

No. She's a woman. Yeah. She's a woman. And also, let's say she's not, none of your business. But, okay. And it's none of, she is, she is a woman. It's none of that fucking meathead who just got punched in the head.

Who's just like this. You got something to say. What do you mean you got something to say? It is something you'd say. The whole world's listening. And then you're like, and there's checks a dude. But don't you think, like, in the middle ages or whatever? Yeah.

Wouldn't peasants have all, haven't we always done this? Wouldn't there be peasants? The Queen's got a cock! Yeah, of course. Since the dawn of time, to be a disruptor, the quickest thing to say is that you're not what you are. Yeah. You're the opposite of what you're telling the people you are.

I heard that the queen is a big fucking cock and a king is gay. Yeah, no. And people go like, okay. And then you throw your shit at the carriage. Yeah, yeah. We haven't changed. We fundamentally don't change. But we never used to give that guy a microphone.

That's the difference. You never used to go, wait a minute, he's got something, he's got an opinion. This guy that we haven't vetted in any way is going to say something live. In the palace. Just like with the king sitting just over there. We're just going to do it. What's your thoughts? After the gladiators, I'm Maximus Meridius, father to a thing,

and I will. You know what would have really happened in that scene? Father to a murdered son. The audience. Husband to a murdered wife. Your wife was a man. That's the, if gladiator was real. Yeah, if gladiator was real.

Boo. said it need another one to fight him. What's your name, soldier? My name's Comedus, and your wife's got a big cunt. A big cunt that's infected was get rapes by other men. Oh, put the fires a down. Turn down the volume, Maximus. Maximus.

Macon scumbag. And we give them a microphone. We give them a brand deal. Yeah, that was wild to watch. I'm going to go out to limb. And this may hurt our podcast. If you're sponsored by monster in any way, you're not driving civilization forward.

If at any stage you look down on your vehicle or on the floor of the workplace that you embody, that you work in, and the monster symbol is there, you won't be missed. Has there ever been? What do you think? Has anyone ever drunk... Any job that has a fucking zip and it says monster?

Do you think anyone has ever consumed monster energy and gone on to do a good task? This is how you know if your sports high end or low end, right? If you're watching Formula One driving, all the adverts are Rolex, right? They're like... Maybe a crypto exchange. Yeah, but it's all big breasts. Chanel, this, like this. Big bands, big bands, big bands, big bands.

Hubello, right? All going through, all going through. Campari. Right. And then if you're doing NASCAR, it'll be Morgan and Morgan lawyers. Monster energy drink. Cheetos. Yeah, Cheetos. You're being the Cheetos car.

That's how you know that you're not as popular as the other one. It's a, you know, it is, as soon as you see those green lines. It's all, Pirelli, Porelli, Porelli, Rolex, Rolex, Rolex, Rolex. And then they're Cheetos. What's lower, okay, now there's, so Red Bull, classy. Red Bull, for some. reason has seeped its way in, but it's a whole team.

Red Bull's just Honda. Red Bulls aren't, but a red ball across all sports. Yeah, yeah. Way classier. Yeah, for some reason. As soon as you get the Monster Energy. Monster, yeah, your monsters. It just reminds me of like DC shoes. It reminds me of people that

they're going to do like an apple bong. Oh, look, I take it back. If Monster wants to sponsor the podcast, we don't want to sponsor the podcast. Look, look, we're sitting in front of a curtain in a hotel room. right now doing our best work. So we're not above it. It's late.

It's fucking late. I definitely took a look at it like, there are friends of mine who shared the jets going over and the image. And I thought, yeah, okay, there was some cool images for it. But I got to say, I'm desperately looking forward to like a dignified,

quiet pregnancy. Not from Michelle Obama. Presidency again. Michelle have to take it up the bummer Because she used to be a man. Oh, fuck it hell. We're about to see, we're about to see Australia versus USA in where the Seattle Seahawks play,

and it's believed to be the loudest stadium or whatever. We went into one of the merchandise stores that are around them because Amos has been trying to get a jersey forever, and I bought an Australian scarf. I wanted one of the ones that said Australia, USA, so I could have it because I'm a dual citizen. I thought that would be a nice little thing to own from the day. But we went in there, and the guys like this,

Oh, you've never been in there? Oh, you're going to, you're not going to be able to hear. You Aussies will be rattled. You're going to rattle your chest. You're going to be like in there going, oh my God, what's going on? Noisiest fans in the world. Oh, the best. You're about to experience something really, really big.

It's the noisiest stadium ever. I can't believe it's noisier than a British stadium. Australia simply has, we have to win that. Someone said to me the other day, did I mention on this? The Turkey did nothing in that game. We kept on getting saves. We kept on getting saves. Our goldkeeper was amazing.

Our goldkeeper plays in the A-League in Australia, and that was one of the things we were like, what the fuck? And his name's Beach, and the big joke going around is this is the first time the Turkish was stopped by the beach. But he played really well. But for the most part, we were surrounded by Turkish people.

It didn't matter because they couldn't cheer. They couldn't get their spirits up. They were just angry with them. their team. We just had a group of people around. It's like, I did. And they haven't taken, they have not taken it well back in Turkey. Oh, no, no, no. In Turkish, it's like, you wouldn't want to get your hair plugs done that week because you can't be stressed because the graphs have to take. Also, I would have thought the Turkish doctors

might deliberately ruin the Australian person's rugs. No, you know, you don't want to go in there as an Australian right now. But I do love the people of Turkey. You're coming out with a new mistake. And I am performing. And coming in July. So it was all a gag. It was all a gag. I don't know. And I love Greece, but I love Turkey too.

Yeah, but you were big and up Greece. Oh, yeah, we love the Greeks. People love... We love everybody. You know, that's what the World Cup's about. It's about talking mad shit. You know my opinion. It's about rampant nationalism.

Any country that makes noise, I'm not into. So let's talk about Iran. It's unnecessary. We do something... Non-news, sorry, non-sports news-related. Yeah. I'm just looking at this now. Okay, let me just read you something about this piece.

Oh, I just quickly about the fight at the front, there was an assassination attempt that was foiled. There were a lot of it. The attack drones were coming, and it was foiled because a mother had started reading her son's diary, started seeing that he'd stockpile guns, she got worried, you see something, you say something. I'm not a grass, but she is, right?

Yeah. And she rings up the authority, says my son is doing something a bit dodgy and they foiled the plan because of that. And then they posted the picture of the 19-year-old lad. And Jack just put the picture right here of the 19-year-old less. I'm looking at this. Yeah. He is aged the worst out of any human that's ever aged. Now, I can say this because he's a terrorist and he was trying to attack our country.

So we're just having a bit of fun. It says it involves a sniper nest. There he is. There he is 19 years old. Fucking, to use a cliche, had a hard paper round, I assume. Let me see. He is the roughest looking 19-year-old I have ever seen.

He looks like one of the people out of making a murderer. He's not helping himself because he's lost his hair at 19, which, look, I have empathy for him for that, right? But then he's gone, I'll put the hair somewhere else. So he's done the beard. but he can't grow the moustache in. So he's just got the bit underneath. It's got the Muslim-looking beer.

And that bit's just doing that bit where he's gone. There's my jawline if you couldn't see it before. Because he looks like an egg. And he's the poor lad, but he tried to kill the president so I can say what I want about him. You can be mean about his features. It just carries on the assassination attempts there. And then the mother, I mean, where has his kid been recruited from?

What's his jam? He doesn't look particularly intelligent. He looks like he'd be. pretty maga. He doesn't look like. No, that's got, that's lib coated. You reckon that's a lib, lib, live guy? That, that neck beard? I don't know. You, you think he, you think he'd be fighting over trans bathrooms? You reckon he'd be fighting there? He looks to me, yeah, no, he's the resistance

in his head. He reckons he's one of the guys from Star Wars that's, uh, taking out the empire. How did he get a whole lot of drones? Drones, exactly. He thinks he's admiral Akbar. He's recent, he's bought a whole lot of fire Hadrachma, that's mean-spirited Badd-N-Wa-Mahs better looking than that boy. Like, yeah. That's what he's doing with his little drone fleet.

Poor fella. Anyway. Yeah, no, obviously his life's not going too well. I'll sing about that. He'll be in prison right now. Look, we'll get to hear him talk. He'll be in prison right now going, fucking mum.

Don't think he'll get many letters from the young ladies like Luigi Munji. And then mum. comes to, yeah, Louise even, Jeremy, actually killed someone. This is just a bloke who wrote the diary, I might kill the president, then fucking,

someone don't sound like that, thanks. I might kill the president, and collected a few guns and his mum turned him in. He's not getting any liberal pussy. He's not coming down there. There's no fucking antifa chicks that are going to go wank him.

Oh, even the, even antifa chicks are important and they're like, that's a tough fuck. Yeah, they're tough. That's fucking hard. How are you going to get up into the crow's nest. You're about 300 pounds. Oh, God. All right. Before we get out of here, I want to talk about Iran. Very strange business with them being here right now. They were forced to go straight to Mexico. But do you think there'll be, okay, this happens every Olympics. After the last event,

they keep money. Some stick around. Do you reckon you'll be have any Iranian refugees who go, I can't go back because I'll be treated terribly because I did A, B, C, D. Actually, that would be be interesting. I'm calling three. How many are you calling? I'm going to say none because they just pulled out what is supposed to be

an agreement which is going to be finished in about 30 days if, you know, Israel is very, very unhappy about it saying they don't want to be held to it. So the next 30 days quite dangerous. You would imagine this would be the last kicks and screams of Bibby Netanyahu, because if that war

comes to an end, he's kind of fucked. He's been using the fact that they're at war. to have emergency powers. And the moment of that war's over, you would imagine that he would lose an election or be thrown out of there because he's going to brought the country into distribute and made them the world's paris state.

So he's going to do everything he can to keep the war going. Donald Trump's out. He wants out. Mark Levine and some of those people that were pushing him forward. Mark Levine and they have turned on Trump saying that this is a disaster.

Turns out part of the agreement that the Trump administration has made is to pay reparations for the damage done to Iran, which is around $300 billion. If you remember, he said that the deal that Obama did all those years ago

was a disaster. Can we just borrow it from Elon? Can we just ask Elon? Elon's worth a trillion. Elon, like, 1.3-3-trill. If we could go to, can we just have the point three, please? Elon? Yeah, look, I'll read you what the deal says. It says 14 clauses.

Headlight, 300 billion in reconstruction commitments, 24 billion in released frozen funds, half before negotiation start. What am I paying my fucking taxes for? Complete naval blockade lifted within. So we've spent $300 billion, lost lives, chaos, destroyed markets to get the streets back open again,

which were open before we fucking went in there. It's the art of the deal. It's the art of the deal. You bet he's going to make money off weapons and stuff. Of course. They've done fine. He's going to do so. Don't you worry about that.

The rest of us are all fucked. Iran's deputy leader is calling total victory this morning. He wasn't spinning. So it seems to be bent over. If you said right now, the Ayatollah in Iran has just said, they've got complete victory. And to celebrate, he's having a few blokes punch each other in his front yard. You'd go, oh, they're bloody animals, those people.

Oh, if that was the way that they, to celebrate. the new regime. Yeah, yeah. They're going to have fucking Greco wrestling in front of their fucking in front of their palace. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, they're bloody animals. Sword fighting. They'll never sort it out. They don't know what they're doing. Blood sports in Tehran, the savage society. Yeah, CNN would fucking blood sports all day.

The Ayatollah looks for suicide bombers on his own. They have suicide bombers right out front of the Dallas. Yeah. A disgusting culture. Yeah,

a disgusting culture. Yeah, disgusting. Glorifying violence. What would be their motorbike riding thing? Ah, there'd just be two blokes on a donkey running up a ramp. Yeah, because there's no gas right now. Yeah. It's double act called E and Or.

So that's what's happening. That's what's happening at this moment in the world is we have a supposed peace deal. 30 days. Will the air, cons in Israel get between it? We'll check back in with your pie lovers. after each Australian game, see how you're all going. We'll talk about other games.

Was there anything else that we needed to cover in the world? No, no. No, Jim wants to go to bed. It's midnight. It's been an unbelievable long. It's been a long day. You're sharing a room with your son. Yeah.

How old is he? He's 13. What did you say when you had to go back? I'll tell you, we have separate beds. And Michael Jackson can't do that with kids who aren't his. This is the other thing that I was going to bring up to you Is the Knicks But too much

The Nickerbockers Too much support Now What people That was when Why are all the old names so shit The Red Sox The Red Sox

The Knickers Why they called the Dodgers Because they were trolleys And the locals were called trolley dodgers They were always dodging the fellas And now they called the Dodgers And you're going to be called the Red Sox Why?

Because you've got Red Sox What are the new team made But what was what was just bad? Yeah, they were good. And eagles. Lions. Lions. You name animals.

And we all go, we're the blah, blah, blah. America's got too many. The knickerbockers. What are the most recent names, though? What the fuck is a knickerbocker? What's Washington's new team name? Commanders. The commanders.

And then the guardians. Okay, that's a few shit names. Just name them after animals. Because I used to love it as a kid following the North City Bears, and we would lose all the time. And then my one argument on the schoolyard as a 10-year old to another 10 year old. It was like, yeah, well, your fan, the rabbits, a bear would kill a rabbit.

He used to love that one. Yeah, just, my animal would kill your animal. But I go for the Adelaide Crows, so that was always tough. Yeah, it was always tough. But that was like, as a kid, that was like, you used to actually think about the war between these animals going on, what would actually happen. And you're like, the sharks, a bear would beat a shark because we'd be out of the water and it would die.

Well, who is, what is, by that logic, which team is the greatest? Bears. Bears beat everywhere. Everybody? Who wins out of a bear in a way? What about the Phoenix Suns? Oh no, the Sun will get you eventually. The Sun wins over everybody.

Just cancer. You can't beat the Sun. Yeah, yeah, no, the Phoenix Suns. Also, the Suns, multiple Suns. Yeah. What's bigger than the... Not the Phoenix Sun. The one Sun.

The Center of the Universe, the Sun. Powerful cooks. Yeah. Look at all the Suns. They're stars. Yeah, what's wrong with that? They're all the Suns. They're all the Suns.

Because Phoenix is hot. And it's the desert. Yeah. It's not called that because there's a lot of stars. It can't be called the sun. I support the Clippers. I support the Clippers and the Dodgers. Dude, the Clippers is a fucking ferry system on the river, a water ferry.

A water ferry. A sea bus. And some skeevy guys from Brooklyn back in the day that were drunk and crossing the road. Homeless people who had to be rolled out of the way of public transport and water transport. Yeah, water transport. That's the teams I support. Unbelievable. Well, anyway, go Nix.

That was crazy to see. There is a lot of people giving Nix fans shit for tearing up the city. In fact, a lot of people are doing side-by-side videos of Japanese fans bringing plastic bags to the game, cleaning up the stadium after their performance, and saying, look at the culture. Look at the culture of the Japanese against the culture of the Americans tearing up their city. Oh, don't you. If we get what the Japanese did to Pearl Harbor.

They didn't clean up after that, did they? Do they come in off to Pearl Harbor with a dust pad and brush? I think not. So there you go. Can't get into them about that. They burn through chopsticks like a motherfucker. They also, look, let's be fair, they haven't won anything. They're all disposable.

They haven't won anything. They haven't won anything. It would be amazing if the Japanese have been holding it. Imagine if Japan wins the World Cup and just fucking trash the joy. They should have won, they should win the baseball classic. They've got the players to win that, but they haven't won that. They've got the biggest athlete in the world. five mile.

No, but imagine in the World Cup, if they win the World Cup and they just go through New York, pissing, smashing shit. I would... Fucker you. Japan is now number one.

I would like to have a team that we don't expect win the World Cup. How good would it be to have a non... If Iran wins and Trump has to hand the trophy? A non-South American

and non-Europe. Yeah, yeah. Iran is the... I mean, that's... if there is a script for the universe. And, I mean, Australia, obviously. If Australia fucking won, God, we'd be insufferable. All right.

Well, that's what's happening at this moment. Go the Socoros. Go the nation of Hadd of Art School. We're playing England tomorrow. So say a prayer for us. Well, I'm going for England. I know you're going. I've got a Jude Bellinger sports card.

I'm trying to sell. I've also got a, I've also got a chant for a Panama. which we could take, I'll take you out on. Why Panama? Because Croatia plays Panama. It goes like this. Canal and a hat. Canal and a hat.

Oh, Panama, we only know you for that. Yeah, that's a good one. See, these are the things that are fun. Fun ones. The fun ones, the ones where you get a little giggle. He's right. Yes, that is true, as opposed to me being like, 1949, there was an explosion at a factory.

You lost 15 workers. Wasn't that sad. Thank God we're not playing Germany. If we played Germany, you would just... Or any of the Allies, anyone. Italy didn't make it in. Lucky for us. We haven't played Japan.

You should never have gone to Russia. You should have never, ever gone into Russia. You should have never gone to Russia. Never gone to Russia. Unless you had better supply lines and winter uniforms. They had the uniforms. It was just the supply lines. They had the uniforms.

Hugo Boss made sure they had... No, they didn't have good winter uniforms when they went in there for Operation Barbarossa. No, they got let down. They got let down by fabrics. They need thicker socks, didn't they? Yeah, no, it was a disaster. Anyway, you know what's gone away?

Trenchfoot. I haven't seen Trenchfoot in a while. You haven't seen my feet from the last episode. I would like to see a bit of Trenchfoot come back. If you go on, there's certain fetish websites I can show you. You see some Trench foot. foot. I used to have like trench hands. Long story. Right. Everybody, go well. We'll see you again next week.

Good night, Australia. Goodbye, pie lovers. And hello UK.