I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 66 - Amos Got Death Threats

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

At this moment, Jim and Amos talk about Amos' recent virality and the death threats that have come with it. They rant about how the US has bad chants and what even is Paraguayan food?ADS:BLUECHEW: When you buy two months of BlueChew Gold you get the third FREE with promo code ATM. You will also receive an additional 10% OFF + Free overnight shipping on your first order. http://www.bluechew.comSOCIALS:Jim JefferiesWebsite: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠Amos GillIG: @abitofamosgillFB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the DoohickeysSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You better be careful because there are Americans who know exactly where you are, and they'll be paying you a visit before you leave. I would suggest leaving sooner, you s weak little bit. And I wrote back to him, struggling to hear the rhythm behind this, and not a lot of writing. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. There's a reason Blue Chew is the number one brand for Better Sex. Experience it yourself at bluechew.com.

We've got a special deal for our listeners right now when you buy two months of Blue Chew Gold. you'll get the third free with the promo code ATM. That's promo code ATM. You will also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit Bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. Gai Pye Pye Lovers. Welcome to at this moment with me, Amos Gill and Jim Jeffries as we dissect everything that's going on in the world.

On this episode, Jim, we are the news in some regard. One of us went viral at the World Cup. and we'll address the fallout on that. I think that was you. That was you that went viral, wasn't it? You were in this video as well. I don't... I don't endorse that.

We also discussed the issues with the reflecting pool, the resignation of Keir Stama and a bunch of other stuff along the way. Jim, we are touring so the pie lovers can come out and see us. Where are you going to be? Hold on. I've got to get me fucking webpage out. Well, I'll start. I'm going to Vancouver and Calgary.

I'm in theaters in both. It'd be awesome to get you guys out there. I'm going to be at Tyson's Virginia this Saturday at the Capital One Theatre. Where else am I going to be, Jack? You're in Richmond. Okay, let's start this whole thing again. Richmond on Thursday. Richmond on Thursday.

You're doing two shows in Tyson. I think I'm doing one show in Tyson. I see both. No, look, I might as well be a manager. Jim will be in Richmond, Virginia, Thursday and Tyson's Virginia, aka Washington, D.C. on Saturday. And then come and see me in Australia, Sydney, Gold Coast, Adelaide, Hobart, Mel.

How many with Bendigoge? Long, if you live in Australia, there's a drive, you can make it there. I'll be touring Australia all through July and August. And then I come back and do a European tour where I'm going to be in Reykjavik and all over Serbia and Germany. Go to Jim Jeffries.com. All right. It's your day. everyone welcome everyone

happy birthday we wish you a happy birthday we wish you a happy birthday it's it's Amos Gills birthday I know I know I'm giving them a go because I'm with the chant master general here the king of chance I mocked you now now let's do it very quickly it was Amos

his girl's birthday yesterday it was father's day I can talk about my father's day a little bit more later we have just come back from the World Cup We were in the World Cup. We saw the Turkey game, which we reported on last podcast. And then we went to Australia versus USA, and it was a tough watch. It wasn't an easy game to watch.

We didn't turn up in any way. And let me tell you, with the rest, the chance that I was pulling out on the United States, I needed the boys to be there at my level of aggression, and they weren't. They left me out like dogs balls. This is what Amos said. He goes, everything I did for the Australian team, and they let me down. Right? If we win and you have those chance, how viral does that go? But you've gotten 10 million views. No, I think it's like, too, we're at 20 million or something now. It's crazy. At the time of this

podcast, we're at 20 million, right? 10 million on one site, 10 million another site. 20 million people have viewed you chanting at the football or the soccer. Well, here's the thing, right? So chanting's my favorite thing about football, I mean, other than the sport. And you and I are both lovers of British culture. We are Anglophiles. We've both lived in Britain. I go to Premier League matches. I love it.

I love listening to the British. I support Fulham, a couple of white teams in their outfits. I love the chance. I love the English chance. And as an Australian, growing up at the ashes, at football games, I always say, come on Australia, we've got to elevate the chance. It can't just be Aussie, Ozzy, Ozzie, oy, oy, oy. I look at the United States and they're weakest piss chanting.

And I think we've been you before. We've come a long way in Australia. It's got to improve. And if I have to take the hits and the death threats for everyone to say that I'm a piece of shit and should be deported, I'm willing to do that for Australia because we need to get up there with our cousins. That's what real patriotism is. Okay, so first of all, the Aussie, Ozzy, Ooi, Oi, Oi, if you're not familiar with it, Australians obviously will be and a few Americans will know what it is. It's literally one person will yell out, Ozy, Ozzy, Ozzie, and then the rest of Australians have to call and react and go, Oi, Ozi, Ose, Ose, Oe, Ose, Oe, Oe, Oe, Oe, Oe, Oe, Oe, Oe, Oe, Oe, Oe.

Ooi, ooi. Now, it's kind of like, I've spoken about this before how the Americans don't do hip hip hip at the end of happy birthday, right? You do hip hip, and I didn't know this for years I lived here and did hip hip hip. There's no lonelier place on earth than saying hip hip hip with no response. So when you're an Australian and you hear another Australian go Ozzy, Ozzie, you don't want to leave the guy hanging out there like dogs balls. So you give him a little complimentary, ooi, ooi, back. But I don't want to. I want to make a stand now. Australia, we can't do Ozzy, Ozzy, Oyo, oi. It's weak as fucking piss. It makes us look like a bunch of the ametholes when we yell it out. It's got no panache, no class. Now, Amos, I will give it up for him. He did the chance at the Turkey game. And then when we got to America, the American game, he wasn't focused on the game.

He was too busy looking out of his phones at chance that he'd written throughout the day. Throughout the day, he goes, how about this one? No, I'm telling everyone they were the top of the head. Don't fucking sell me out. Oh, come on. You don't just come up with them off the top of your head. You worked on it. You know, you craft.

Anyway, so you get out there. You had, would you be able to read out for us the ones that didn't make it on? That might be an interesting thing. Well, on the last episode, I remember I read out to everyone the chance I was going to do. Oh, you read out the ones you were going to do. So here's what I want to do. It's been a talking point of the World Cup 2026 that the American chance are quite weak. And Americans themselves, I've been seeing a lot of American sports fans saying,

Jesus, this is not good enough. We need to lift. So let's play a couple of viral videos. Let's give it up for USA, USA. It's powerful. It drowns out any other chance. Quick and to the point. And as a dyslexic, I thought they were applauding Australia.

So, you know, I quite like it. Yeah, it's very hard. And then all the chance I did on the day were over the top of the USA. And when you're getting beat by America and they do this simplistic USA and they're just looking at you screaming it, it did send me into more of a rage than I'd like to admit. It took me out of a... I did want to fight back at that point because we were getting slapped

and you have to hear USA or I believe that we will win. But Jim, here's the chance that the United States fans have. Let's have a look. Because we support the US, the US, the US. That's the way we like it.

We like it. We love it. That's a race cult. That's the worst chance I have ever heard. All right. Okay. I also don't like your over.

overactive Scottish accent. Put their arms around them. Jump for the USA. Olae. Okay, this is poor stuff. Jump for the USA. Olae, allay, chant for the USA because we like it or something.

No, but let's, we like it. We like it. We love it. They do that one. And they had another one. When you, when you caused a foul, they would all chant together.

You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. That is the limpest dick weakest fucking chant I've ever heard in my life. You can't do that. Well, we did. And we walked up to our seats and we're with no other Aussies, maybe one or two. And, you know, people are yelling at us, go eat veggie mite.

Yeah, yeah, there was a guy. Go eat veggie mite, me. If you saw the sign of the guy holding no vegemite zone, he was about five rows back from us. My dad actually thought that was hilarious. He goes, the Americans were poking fun of us, but in a fun way. So we're walking in. First of all, on the way in, we run into Rob O'Neill, the man who killed a summer bin Laden. Assassinated, not just killed him on a whim.

He was on a mission. Well, so this is what a lot of people said to me, yeah, you wouldn't say that in Boston. I'd kick your ass. I say, mate, I said it in front of the man that killed bin Laden. True that. True that. Our mate, our mate, Rob O'Neill, he was well up for it. And our mate, the U.S. Navy SEAL, who's one of the best.

folks going around the United States, who is a dangerous man. Do you know what he did? He had a laugh and said, that's good banter. I hope people come back with more. And I hope we have a good chance to tell you little weak fucks that you're useless as well, and then it could get going. And he's so tough. He did this whilst wearing a sequenced suit jacket of the flag.

So this is what I wanted to say to him. He looked like Liza Manelli, he did. Well, let's play the video so people know what my chance were. Some of them. Let's play it. Yeah, let's go. Serve your own. Stand up if your schools are safe.

Stand up if your schools are safe. Just pay. We're getting tariffed in the morning. Tariffed in the morning. We're getting tariffed in the morning. Are you fat and you know you are your fat and you know you are. You know you are. And you know you are.

You couldn't be. I want to take credit for the. last one. I gave you that one. Which one? You gave me. Yours was fat. Vietnam, Iran was mine. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. Look at this. I won't take any of your profits. Failure is an orphan. Success has many fathers. I've been very supportive of you, young man. You know, it's really funny. In the video everywhere, there's so many comments like, is that Jim Jeffries? Was that Jim Jeffries? And one of the only comments that recognized you at the start was oh you two fat blokes are pretty rich calling us fat and then you were like now fuck that video

get that video down yeah i found seattle they weren't that fat i commented underneath i said i'm very disappointed or something like that and people like oh just because you're a fucking has been nobody and this young bloke's having a fucking go and you're like i'm standing next to you you can i do a podcast with you someone said uh someone said uh someone said uh you're calling us fat you couple of pie lovers now here's one for you While we, pie lovers, why we were there, we went to a pre-game event with all the Australian fans, and there was a pie stands thing, pies and sausage rolls. Same company.

The pie lovers company was there. The very same company that lost their pies on the airplane crash had a stand, and we got to have a sausage roll and a pie that we had to pay for. After all the free bloody plugs. Yeah, they took photos of me holding the pie. Hamos didn't even get in a picture with his sausage roll and they fucking and they still made me pay for the pie

It was good though Yeah it was all right It was good It was a great It didn't give me a fork It fell a bit flat My son didn't have a pie of sausage roll And you know with the chance

I was just like just keep me son out of the video In case there's any problems You know what I mean But we had it Well it was good It was good that we did keep him out Because I want to read to you Some of the responses to that

Admittedly pointed Banta But bantor nonetheless Of course I love the United States I'm marrying one. I've lived here for a long time. It's what I would like to describe as Little Brother Energy. This is a country that goes on about how they're number one,

they're the Goliath, the most powerful country in the world. Can you not poke fun at a successful... Obviously, we're a smaller country. All we've got is a little bit of shit talk, like a little brother. And I would have thought... Let's be honest, we weren't expecting to win. We weren't expecting to win.

No, that's why we get for a fun day. We're a country of $340 million. And then the people go, Yeah, but soccer. not our mean sport. You think it fucking is in Australia, do you? You think it Australia all we're doing around is running around playing football? It's like our

fourth or fifth sport. Yeah, so another thing, Jin, this is another country that we're in the comedy world. All they do is roast battles and talk about Pete Davidson's dad getting burnt alive while trying to rescue kids from a tower and they're like, that's great. That's because it's all

out of love and we do it just every now and again, just once in a time because Kevin Hart's really short. I didn't get booked for roast battles So this was my roast battle Yeah, you roast battled the country I think roast battling a country is a lot better I personally think you should do this

For every knockout game of the World Cup Just to your TV But you don't agree But I think you should keep going Well, okay, let me read you some feedback that I got Okay So there was a lot of Americans To be fair

Some were like, ha ha ha ha, take the L Americans love saying take the L I think most people took it All right They said like take the L Yeah. Now, there are other people. And we did. I also take the L is such a weak thing.

Do we have an option? Can I not take the L and just have the win? Yeah, you beat. Of course I have to take the L. You were better than us. This is another thing about when you're from a small country like Australia. We spend most of our time talking shit about our own country. We're very happy to say we were fucking dog shit.

We played on the back foot. What an embarrassment we were on that day. We barely... We didn't start our two bloats who scored goals for us in the first game. and then we go, well, what happened? And then as soon as they brought them out and the Italian fella, the second half was a different game. So who knows? And also, one of our, one of the American goals was the weakest own goal from Australia ever.

And there was a handball in the box that was never called. But America was the better team they deserved to win. So I opened up my phone. I flew back from Seattle to New York. And I'm like, well, here we go. We'll get some banter. I'll be curious to see how we get roasted back. I love being roasted for Australia.

There's a lot you can make fun of. One of the best ones is when you walk up and go, he's one of your own, he's one of your own, that American had that weak poster of a kangaroo in a hamburger. AI as well, AI slot poster. We're going to eat kangaroo burgers. Well, you can in Australia. If you come over, we've got them. I'm ready to go.

This guy writes me this. Faggot-ass Australian pussy. You're lucky you're around those Americans. Before you start, is this a positive or a negative one you're reading? Start again. This is a negative. Okay, negative. You are lucky you were around those.

Americans, because if you would have been around me, you would have been sent back to your piece of shit country in a fucking body bag, you little curly-haired fuck. You better be careful because there are Americans who know exactly where you are, and they'll be paying your visit before you leave. I would suggest leaving sooner, you bitch-ass, weak little bitch. And I wrote back to him, struggling to hear the rhythm behind this and not a lot of rhyming. You're going home in a body bag, you curly. Headed girl. You curly head fuck.

You hate America, then why do you live here? Or something. This guy was just sort of death threats and my tour dates. Yeah. So, you know, you say a country's violent and they go, no, we're not. I'll kill you next time you come to my town. You're speaking to the guy who did a gun control routine and had a show that talked out against politicians. Yeah, no, I've had death threats.

I know Americans love a death threat. More than any other country in the world, they love giving out a death threat. The Turks didn't threaten me as much. I've had people give me death threats on Instagram. I've reported to Instagram and then they've had their account shut and then they've opened another one and they go, oh, you reported me, your little pussy. You're threatened to kill me. You're threatened to kill me.

So I hit the report button to Instagram like this guy. I had another bloke right to me that basically threatened my children, right? and I thought to myself. Even the mafia, don't do that. No, even the mafia, don't do that. Threaten my children after the gun control thing. So you know what? I thought, I could talk to Instagram or I could do this or I could do that.

Or I could take a screenshot and send it to every woman he follows or follows him. His mother, his auntie, his nieces, his sister. You know what I mean? And the amount of, oh my God, he's always been a cunt. I got written back from family members was outraged. just. Yeah. And then his nephews who were 12 also tells you they're going to kill you.

Yeah, yeah. Runs in the family. You know what? I just sent the screenshot and I didn't send any comment. Just this is what's been read. I want us to respond to some comments because I do think it's funny. I've unearthed what America wants to roast us for. That's the only time I've done that because someone fucking, my children, man,

you can't fuck around. You know, anyway. So, so you find out how they roast us. Many people said, you're not in. important enough for us to even write a rhyme about. I don't mind those areas. I think that's quite good. There's a lot of, now, it's all about the Emu War.

They want to say, yeah, we lost to Iran, but you couldn't beat a flightless bird. Which is weird. They didn't know about this. I didn't know about this until about 10 years ago. And then they've been some movies and some things pitched about it. This is a recent thing that the Americans have just found out. And they've latched onto it like all balls. Anyway, yeah, so the EMU.

We lost to EMU. So most comments where you've lost to EMUs. Yeah. Uh, another one. But, Eam, you can't walk backwards. It always moves forwards. You try beating that thing. It's always coming at you.

It can't turn around. What do you think of these ones? There's many that took this approach. Go home and stick your dick back in the kangaroos you will shag. You rue fucker. Yeah, a lot of people who call us, yeah, rue fuckers, that's, that's, look, you know, I'll take that one. Do you want to know why?

Because you'd have to be fucking. tough to fuck a kangaroo. If you were fucking a sheep, that no problem. Docile creatures. I could lose my virginity to a sheep. Right? There's no problem.

That thing's not going anywhere, right? Do you see those things bound away? But if you ever seen, have you ever seen a thing that's a tripod, right? You'd have to bend that over with its big fucking size 24 feet. Right? Size 24 feet. A great big tail.

A tail that would have the force of a gorilla, right? And you'd have to whip that tail up onto your shoulder and then fucking bend it down. Maybe pull the pouch from the front. Reach around, pull the pouch and yank it down to really get in there. Yeah, I'll take that any day if you call me a roo fucker. So what you're saying is that superhuman strength, speed and charm. I'm just saying if I was to meet someone who had successfully fucked the kangaroo, I would have to respect him on some level.

Okay. Another kind of abuse that we get. I wouldn't fuck with that guy. Would you fuck with that guy? If you had Dave fuck the kangaroo. Yeah, Dave fucked the kangaroo successfully to completion. You'd have some scratches on him. Yeah. You wouldn't buy him a drink, but you wouldn't knock over his. So the next topic that we got attacked for was, this one's very interesting. There's a strong theme is, I'm surprised you were let out of your country.

from the quarantine COVID death camps that you were all stored in. The misinformation they've heard about quarantine and how hard it was. You had to go into your hotel room for two weeks before you got into the country. Western Australia was wide open the whole time just wandering around. COVID was controlled a little bit better. Were they more draconian with the rules? For sure, they were in Australia. The DMs I got were your country's a fascist hellhole and you're all kept an

They also gave, yeah, they also gave all the citizens tens of thousands of dollars, right? Like, in comparison, what, we got 2,000 bucks here in America or something like that? Twelve, twelve hundred. So the Australians got way more money. I know some comedians in Australia was their best year. Looking at me there or? There was a good fringe, that one. But, but yeah, they all say urine in terms of death.

No, I didn't love, I didn't love how COVID was handled across the world, but I'd point out to the Americans, the conspiracy Americans, many of whom are my friends who kept saying it, you guys, what did you go in COVID? All right, well, let's take one step back. You cunts invented it in a lab. So, thanks for that one. I believe it. I believe it came out of Wuhan in a lab, but agree to disagree, but whatever. Yeah, someone invented it. Well, many people would suggest it was Dr. Fauci doing a gain of function research in the Wuhan lab as an American Chinese co-product. So I'm sorry that we locked down our people and gave them welfare, but you created it. So next one.

I'll tell you one thing. It wasn't Australia's fault. No. We wouldn't have been organized to do that. We would still try to figure out how Dave fucked that kangaroo. I'm too busy fucking the kangaroos, mate. I'll tell you, when there's a virus that comes from fucking roos, you come to us. All right.

If we get jumping aids, it's... Hey, where do you think the koala's got the clobidia? Yeah. How do we get this AIDS that makes you have springy lead? I can't crack it. All right. Another one that I really loved was... Oh, it's burning down under.

This was one of the dumbest messages. This was, you are rude, you are a guest here. No, you're not a guest. Wait for this. Okay, you would be speaking Japanese if it wasn't for us. To which I said to this guy, well, if the Japanese did invade us, I wouldn't be rude. I'd be polite. Yeah, true of that.

So maybe you shouldn't have protected us, and Australians would have become neat and respectful. Yeah, and also, if you've been to Japan, it's all right. Could be worse. Could be far worse. We could have been Japanese or German. It's not the worst. They're too well-run countries. I'll take sushi train over McDonald's.

Sushi train McDonald's. Yeah, like, sure we'd be under an empire, but. We'd all live 10 years longer. I'd have less plastic in my bowels. Okay. Next one that they seem to attack us about. Still some plastic because I don't chew. This one I thought was interesting.

There was a lot of people going, you shouldn't have made light of school shootings because I said, stand up if your schools are safe. You never said anything about school shootings. You just said maybe they're not safe. Maybe they don't have railings on the steps. You know, there's several things. There's a lot of right-wing people said to me,

How dare you make fun of, you know, dead kids at schools? I said, mate, what are you talking about? I said your schools are unsafe. I didn't say why. I think it's because of the critical race theory. Yeah. And the crazy gender stuff, the LGBTQ on that. And because they're not teaching evolution and things like that.

It's just not safe for the little minds. Wait, I just don't want my kids to go to school and come out of there as a drag queen. That's all. That's what I meant. Yeah. So next topic Another really interesting one A drag queen's a different thing

It's an entertainer But anyway carry on It's a character act Next one I quite enjoy this one You know how I've gone now I'm sticks and holes I'm just sticks and holes

I don't care what you were born as What you think you are Have you got a sticker or a hole That's how I'm rating you I don't care what you started with What are you finishing with Yeah where are we right now Where are we up now?

I don't know. You're a stick or a hole. Oh, no, I'm a hole, but I identify it. Now, you're a hole. You're a hole. They built your new stick? You're a stick. Sticks and holes.

What do you think of this one? Okay. Now, a lot of other Americans seem to point out that Australia has contributed nothing to the world. In fact, one guy wrote onto here, this is good. This is a real good one. He goes, well, Australia, good for you that you're not. able to use Instagram and other social media apps, which we invented.

You get to say your bullshit because we invented this stuff. You invented nothing, to which I told this gentleman, we created Wi-Fi. We did. We invented Wi-Fi, which is what he was using at the time to abuse you. It could have been 5G, I don't think, which arguably makes these apps work. That's so good. We invented Wi-Fi. And then let's not bring up the lawnmower.

You people would have grass up to your fucking knees right now. Yeah, you'd be watching the bloody World Cup with grass up to your fucking knees without us. They'd be cutting it with shears. Hard to see a bull. Cutting them with shears like that. You're welcome. We made the World Cup, the Lawmower. Now, I only really bothered to respond to a few because then it starts to get exhausting and, you know, you've got to move on with your life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You meant to respond to none of them. Yeah, I occasionally got into it. One guy wrote, there was a lot of score update. I don't mind that. We got our ass kicked. Yeah, yeah. You know, score update.

So I got a lot of what's the score, scoreboard, which is what we'd all do in school when you beat someone. Score board. Yeah. So I wrote to this guy, he said, score update. And I said, $300 billion to Iran and counting. Yep. Now, that seems to be where there was a lot of disdain. And someone said, why are you making the World Cup political?

You mean how you gave Donald Trump the FIFA Peace Prize in exchange for having the fucking thing? Yeah, yeah, okay. You kicked referees out of the country. The referee in the America USA, Australia USA game, has been suspended for match fixing in 2020. How is he back? How is he back? You should be banned. Yeah, he was for a few years.

Yeah. All right, so last one. Someone wrote, but he admitted to what are you done. Okay. Okay. Now, I think, if you actually asked me, the one that made me laugh the most is just tariffed in the morning. I thought that was funny because it was like, I'm offended.

I knew I was going to offend you with these jokes. So that's why it was tariffed in the morning. We're getting tariffed in the morning. Because to all the Americans out there who were saying, oh my God, what's with these little bitch Arzis? I thought they were our France. Why are they attacking us? Why don't they like us?

I would say to Americans, you've spent the last two years at least, tariffing us, threatening to wipe countries out, take over Canada, a legitimate country. Your president has always disrespected our Prime Minister

every time he's coming the country and acted like he doesn't know who the fuck he is. Just little tiny, niggly things. And we haven't done anything about it. We've been all right. The least we can do, if you're going to threaten our nations is sing a little song. Yeah, yeah.

Is that okay? May we have this little morsel of a rhyme? Yeah, especially since we did lose. That was one of the big things about Britain. Like, you'll have team singing, you only sing when you're winning, sing when you're winning. When the team's four goals down, the other team will still be fucking singing. You know, when we beat Turkey, we didn't hear anything from the turkey people. All they did was complain during the game.

They were mad at their team. They were mad at their team. The Americans are just like, USA, USA, USA, which, as I've said, is a good chant. But the rest of their stuff, fucking garbage. I think it did a good job. But let me ask you this legitimately, because, like, I find it fascinating. There is obviously some, it touched some nerve for it to get to 20 million. I never get anything like that.

What do you think it is about a national sense of humor where it's like, Everyone took this so seriously like I hate America or something. All my clips that have gone viral have been gun control, one about Trump, one about lesbian divorce, right? They have to go viral. They have to be divisive. They have to be so that a portion of society hates it, but just enough so that the routine isn't hateful so that people can post it themselves, right? That's the secret recipe for a viral clip that I've found. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Look, Blue Chew, it gets it done. It gets it done, ladies and

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We just happen to be playing against each other. This is what we do in sport. Welcome to football. If we were playing against Iran, they would have had you getting bombed in the morning. Of course they would have. Of course you're getting bombed in the morning. Without a, you would have droned on, so to say. There would have been stuff about the Ayatollah.

How many Ayatollahs have you had this week? I told you You couldn't win All right Here's Paraguay is our next one And just for our listeners I'm going to do a little workshop now Because I can't stop

Now sadly I don't have tickets to the game I don't know what to do Like maybe I should not open for you this weekend And try and get to the game and keep this going The problem is I'm going to be on stage during the bloody game I'm not over the moon about it myself I know I got to find a way

So here's my songs Just have a little little, you stand the wings with a little bit of paper and give me score updates because there's no use. The World Cup, you cannot go, I'm going to record that. No, no. Watch it when I get back to my hotel. Too many people will text me. Oh, that was a great win.

Oh, sorry, you're out, whatever. Turkey, Turkey was easy because I've got so many Greek friends and I'm Croatian and the Turks enslaved us. So historically, they were a big empire as well before World War I. So there's a lot to make fun of with Turkey. Okay. Yes. Number two, the states, obviously, it's the empire now. You can always punch up.

But Paraguay, I don't know, fuck all. We would go the UK. And we love the UK. We would fucking go after the UK all day. And I believe the UK would take it in good jest. Now, there is a world where if we get out of this round that we do meet England, oh, how good would it be? How good would it be?

But, you know, anyway, so that would stretch me. So Paraguay is who we've got. So I've got a few that are exclusives for our listeners. Here we go. Okay. I don't know if that. I had to do some research. Sure.

Because what do you know about Paraguay? Nothing. I don't know anything. I know it's in South America. I've recently found out that it's a landlocked bit of South America. It shares a border with Brazil. That's where I know. So South Americans.

Do they speak? Argentina. Do they speak Portuguese? Portuguese or Spanish? Spanish. They're Spanish. They're Spanish. Okay, here's some of the chance I was working on. Cold plays, Paradise.

Yes. And you would sing, where the fuck is para, para, para, Paraguay, Para, Paraguay. Over and over. Now, my problem with that is, that's a good chance for Paraguay to actually chant for themselves. Because you're not going to hear the where the fuck is Paraguay, Paraguay, Paraguay. All you're going to hear is Para, Paraguay,

and that the players are actually going to be enthused by hearing this. Yeah, you need someone, it needs to stop and go, where the fuck is Parah, Paraguay? Yeah, you really need to emphasize that bit. Otherwise, give that to the Paraguizans. Is that what they're called? The Paraguans. The Paraguans.

The Paraguansiders? Okay, well then after that one, though, you get straight into this one. you go, are you disabled? Are you disabled? Are you disabled Uruguay? Yes, that's very good. Are you disabled Uruguay? That's a thinker.

Paraguay. Are you disabled Uruguay, Paraguay? You know what I mean? Because like they're paraplegics and then Uruguay and people more know the name Uruguay than the Paraguay. You see? Matt. It's disabled Uruguay.

Very good. Very good. This one's for the Aussie fans. That one isn't as. catchy as the cold play one, but it's better. Okay, how about, do you sell Coke or not? Do you sell Coke or not? We know nothing about you.

Do you sell Coke or not? Right, yeah. Okay, can I get some credit? I was involved in these ones. No, give me your, no, you wrote a verse for this one, which was about the eight ball. Oh, um, what was my verse? Your verse was, um, if so, I'll buy an eight ball. Please assure me there's no fan, turnil.

Yeah. Yeah. If you do, I'll buy an eight ball, just as long as it has no fentanyl or whatever, right? Yeah, fentanyl eight ball, yeah, that one will work. So then I was trying to do some research in the country's history. Yeah. Turns out that they were a little naughty post-world too and harbored a few cheeky criminals. Of the Nazi variety, are they Nazi little Nazis?

Which do you prefer out of these two? Okay, sirrah, sirrah, whatever will be will be. You harboured the Nazis in your country. Or you'd go, Paraguay, Guay, Guay, I dug into history. You sheltered Nazis in your country. Nauty Paraguay. Or something like that. Yeah.

Paraguay, Agway, Agway. I dug into history. You sheltered Nazis in your country. All your grandfrey. All your grandfathers are Nazis. Paraguay, Paraguay. Yeah, all your grandfathers are Nazis. We're in the workshop right now.

All your grandfather. So, listen, if you've got any ideas, pie lovers, give us something on Paraguay. Have you got a Paraguayan friend who's annoying? They do something annoying. All I did with research was it turns out that people go there to buy cheap shit from Brazil and Argentina. They call it the South American outlet mall. Right. and that the people are late.

Well, yeah, okay, it's one of those, like, because I was in Argentina, it's one of those 10 p.m. dinner places and also the food very overrated in Argentina. So, I'm, and they all talk about Argentina, like the food mecca of South America. So I imagine, this is how you know if you come from a good food country or not. When you go to other countries, is there a restaurant about your country? And we can proudly say that we have Outback Steakhouse. There is no. There is no Paraguasian.

No, I've never had anyone go to state-n- Paraguay. Yeah, we'll go, what are you up for? Thai or Paragonesean? What do they make? Well, you know what, like the... It's just empanadas, isn't it? Well, the Argentinians do epinadas, but they also do these ham and cheese raviolis

that are covered in like a light red sauce, which is just, it's a hard meal to get through. They put ham and everything. And I think it's because, you know, it's a meat. It's a cured meat. It lasts a bit longer. But, yeah, I can't, I can't think of a Paraginian meal. Can you?

Paraguayan. Yeah, I'm still not sold to Paraguayan. I'm sure it's got to be something else. Paraglish is their language, I assume. We're speaking paraglish. I can hear the top 26 Paralajian food. Here we go. The top 26 Paraguine foods.

Tell me. If you recognize any of this, it's a soup called Vori Vori. That's coming in at number one. Vori Vori is a soup of Paraguay where we're small balls of cornmeal and cheese cooked in a broth that includes chicken and herbs. It looks basically like their version of Nocky, but it's cornmeal. Small balls. Cornmeal balls in a soup. That sounds horrendous.

If someone says, It's bad, muttsa ball. I've made a small balls of cornmeal and cheese cooked in a broth. No, thank you. Thank you. Then we got pastel marnies. Pastel marnies is a doughy snack made with corn flour, boiled cassava fat and eggs and stuffed with a mixture of minced meat.

So that's their name. Their name for epinata, right? That's coming in next. Then we got Chippagasu. is a cake-based corn, which is just fucking cornbread. Chippagasu. Chippagasu sounds like he's their centerback. Let's talk about cornbread for a second, here from America.

I'm a big fan of barbecue. I love the patience that's involved in making brisket and how it just tears off. And then the sauce and the different spices and all the type of stuff. And then they just go, we'll have a corn cupcake because that's what it fucking is. That's what it fucking is. And sometimes it's just shape like a cupcake. Sometimes it's in a tray where you're just slicing it into bricks. And then sometimes it's just in a cupcake shape and given to you.

And it's just a corn fucking cupcake. And they go, just call it corn bread. Because everyone has bread with their meal. And even the white sliced bread's no good. It's a really, I think it belongs to the tortilla family. That's best with barbecue. How good would American barbecue be with Australian bread products? Yeah, although they probably, it's already, it's heavy on heavy though, you know?

That's why they go with that bread that disintegrate. The corn bread. This is crap. This is crap. This is crap. And you pour it with sauce and you eat it with meat. It's fucking crap. Anyway, they have it in Paraguay.

Then they have a nourishing stew, originated in South America called Locra, which just looks like sausages and corn shoved into a bowl. I won't go through all of them. But I will mention, yeah, no, no, wait, wait, right. Okay, so number three is chippagatsu. Chippagazu, which we all agree is cornbread, correct? Correct. Number six is cornbread.

Number six is cornbread. Now, I would like to know. Yeah, it's like, baguette and salad. How many more things look like cornbread in here? Ah, okay, they always have a dolce, that's their dessert, which is just a, A marinated... A flan. Marinated cake.

Another dolce. Another dolce. A vegetarian dish. Caso Paraguay, which is just cheese. Now they're just claiming cheese as one of their fucking dishes. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. More, yeah, it's all, that's it. Cornbread.

Very big on the cornbread down in Paraguay. Well, the other option, Jim... And they don't have brisket and barbecue sauce. They're just eating it by itself. I think. it's a full meal in Paraguay. It's not meant to be the starting Stryker for a dinner is it.

It comes off the bench. No, no, cornbread comes off the bench. Like it to be in the squad, frankly. Yeah, yeah. If cornbread went missing, no one would ask about it. Yeah, dude, cornbread's only there because soft-shell taco got injured. Yeah, exactly. Soft-shell taco, or tortilla, as we'll call it.

Tortilla. You call it soft-shell taco. That's what we say in Australia, soft shelter, okay. Yeah. The other option, by the way, wait until I'm so run down from trying to do these chance. I could have actually just go, I've just Googled. Give me some information on Paraguay.

And you can just sing, Paraguay is an upper middle income country that is relatively safe, but extremely poor compared to its South American peers. it's surrounded by Brazil and Argentina, which are beloved countries, and Paraguay is not. Do they use the same bing bongs all across South America? They use the US dollar. They use the US dollar in Paraguay.

Yeah. Oh, that's all right. I don't have to change anything. I just can just go down there. 16% of the population lives in poverty. Look, at the end of the day... 16% is a really good way to learn about countries. 16% of America lives in poverty, right?

Yeah. Surely. I'm not kidding, right? Surely, like 16% of Americans have got zero money in their bank account? How many Americans live in? And what is the definition of poverty? Is it being homeless? Approximately 35.9 million live below the poverty line, which is 10.6%. Oh, okay. So it's more poverty than America. So what would you put the poverty threshold as? It says that it's, the poverty threshold is on 31,000, 812 for a family of four. Fuck, that's hard. My mother used to be, love to say that sentence because I grew up poor and, and, and my mother used to love to go, where, our joint income is below the poverty line.

My mother used to always say that we were living below the poverty line. And I'm like, all right, we still have a fucking video player in two tellies. Not bad. It's not horrendous. We had an Atari. Yeah. And Wi-Fi, wouldn't it, Kate? Oh, and Wi-Fi.

We had it before the Americans. It was been in Australia, you know. All right, so that's what's going on in the world of chance. And when we get out of football now, but we do have to say Leo Messi, argument dead. I mean, it was already dead and done. But two goals, today's game puts him now above Miracev closer by two. He's the greatest goal scorer in the history of World Cup. And he's not done yet.

I reckon he's got another five in the – He looked good, man. He looks good. He looks good. He looks good. Five more in this World Cup. He looks so... This is his last World Cup.

But I... You know, fuck. He could come off the bench in four years still. He's looking that good. I know he shouldn't have to see what happened with Ronaldo, but... I see Renato eventually, like, turning to peptides and steroids to try and, like, cryogenically... Like, Gino editing himself to try and make it to the next World Cup. I can't see him letting go.

I can see him being captain coach. You see him like being, like, in Futurama where he's just like a head. in a bit of world or on top of another body and running around. You know, like, he's like the head of a cult. I bet you you'd have people that would give their body up for him. Let's be honest. We're going to find out that all of his children are clones. Right, we don't know where the mum was or anything like that.

Yeah, he might clone himself and then come back out. That must have broken him to see those two goals today. I always like, remember that time that, like, Ronaldo was doing a press conference and Coke was the sponsor of the World Cup, and he turned around because it turns out Coke's not good for you, right? And he turned around. Look, he has treated his body like a temple. He's worked really fucking hard.

He's done everything you have to do to be the best, and he's been the best. But Messi is just a little bit faster, a little bit nippier around the box. You know what people, I was reading an article about it yesterday, and they said, personal, like your personal ethos to life sometimes dictates who you prefer. in the debate and they said that Ronaldo is the embodiment of the people that love hard work and Messi is more for people that love

natural born talent you know just being blind away by the wonder of someone's God given skill because Maradonna same thing God given skill man and not like they don't work but Ronaldo is clearly like he'll get everything out he's a freak you don't really hear I don't I'm not saying Messi's not disciplined but you don't really hear about

Messi and his gym routine. You know what? The MLS is still a really good league. He's still playing really competitive football and he's the best player in the MLS and then Rinaldo is off playing in Saudi Arabia, which is having I think the World Cup in two World Cups is in Saudi Arabia. So here's the deal. I've written down all the fucking names who got into comedians who went to Saudi Arabia. If I catch you in eight years watching a fucking game, I'm ready to go. I'm vengeful. There's some, some comedians. If I see you supporting any game that's played on South Arabian, South African, is that their names? Saudi Arabians? Saudi Arabia.

Or how about just Saudi? No, no, it wouldn't be that. The fact that the World Cup's going, and after all that fucking hoo-haer about comedians going off to a comedy festival, fuck me, I'm looking forward to seeing some hypocritical cunts going, I'm supporting England. Go fuck yourself. And you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, well, you know, if the price is right, it wouldn't be surprised if the next World Cup's in Israel in 2036.

They don't care. No, no. Remember all the hoo-ha are about fucking Qatar, can't go to Qatar? It went down as one of the greatest World Cups ever. People loved it. Good. But you know when they say like, oh, no politics in it?

It was in Russia in 2018. Yeah, yeah. It was in Russia. I think also when it was in Argentina or which... Wasn't it under like a military junta? I don't know. I think one of the World Cups was... Hold on.

Which World Cup took place under... And Australia can't get it. Australia tries to get it all the time. Give it to Australia and New Zealand. Give it to both countries. 78. Argentina. Give it to both countries.

We have the stadiums ready to go. We have rugby stadiums out the fucking Wazoo, which are obviously exactly the same dimension. as a soccer stadium, we're ready to go. Australia, New Zealand, people would like to visit those countries, they're peaceful places, you know, unless COVID happens,

and then you'll be locked in the country for the rest of your life. And then if we do have the World Cup in Australia, come out America and chant against Australia. We would love it. We would love it. It would be a wonderful thing. Let's see those roast.

This is a country of great comedians, great rappers, great writers, great thinkers. Yes. You can do it. You could put together a national inquiry. Some of the greatest inventors ever, America, you've given us a lot. You know, America's famous as well for, for instance, getting to space, you took Nazi scientists, Operation Paperclip.

Sure. Okay. And that made America the space power because they went, well, those Nazis, I don't like them, but we'll use their brains. And now I think, what I'm saying is they could do. You've nicked all the alien shit. I'm starting to believe they've just nicked all the aliens shit. The alien. Every great American invention is fucking aliens.

So what I'm saying to Americans is, if you want to do like Operation Loudmouth, I will happily come and work for the United States for a fee. Yeah, yeah. I've seen no dollars. Oh, you're going to be the Nazi operator who's going to be a turncoat. Yeah, I'll go into the Department of Cheer. By the way, this is a country that has Cheer, as you said at the game, cheer at universities.

It's like a course. Get me in. Get me a British guy. You can get a scholarship as a cheerleader in this country. And then you came out and cheered better than anyone else. Where's your university degree? I'll sell my fucking country short for a dime. All I got out of this was death threats.

The fact that you're even saying for a dime, you're already doing it. You're already doing it. My mom will be so proud, M-O-M. All right. Let's talk about the rest of the world. That's the world. up done. It took us 47 minutes. What else? What else? What else? What else?

The UK Prime Minister is standing down, Starmer. Keir is gone. Kira's gone. And who are we getting instead? Well, it's going to be Andy Burnham, who was the mayor of Manchester. So he only just got sworn into Parliament today. Yeah. And we'll go probably straight into the top job, which, you know, I wouldn't envy being in that job. It seems like all Western democracies at this point. The populations are so fucking pissed off.

Now, this is the thing. America it takes four years. You have to be voted out in four years time. In other countries, you vote in the party. You don't vote in the individual. You can't get rid of the party. You can get rid of the individual. And the people within their party can vote

that person out and replace them. In Australia, we had something like eight prime ministers in a couple of years or something like that. We went through a crazy run. And Before that, we had a guy that lasts like 13 years or something. And the same thing in Britain, they can do that. They get rid of it. I wonder if you live at number 10 down, is it Downey Street?

Downing. Downing. Downing. I was going to go Downing. Downing. Number 10, Downing Street. And then you get voted out. How quick do you have to tell your wife to pack boxes?

The vote, yeah. I mean, you probably find out before you've elected, you see people started to tidy your possessions. you go, what's going on? Does Donald Trump break the news before the world? Did you know that? He did it last night. There was rumours he was stepping down and Trump just wrote,

he was terrible on immigration. He had to go. He was a disaster. That's the whole thing. Trump's approval rating is so low that if they had the same rule here in American politics, they would have had a coup and gotten rid of Trump by now. Without a doubt Trump would be gone if he was working under the same rules as the UK. Jady Vance has gone.

has got that kind of support. Yeah, but you'd think there'd be some other politician in there who'd be, like, working, Marco Rubio. Rubio's the world. You reckon, you reckon Rubio wouldn't have a few blokes that would get around him and go, look, you know, I'm still very right wing, I'm still going to do all the things you like. You'll get your tax breaks, but we can't fucking be doing this. But if you look at, as you said, there's been so many prime ministers in the UK and Australia,

and it actually lines up with social media. Since social media has come in, once a narrative starts about your government failing, Or just in general, once the world is able to get information about your failings, the social media is inherently negative. It's impossible to stay in power when there is a constant narrative and meme of you failing over and over and over and over. He got done by Epstein as well, right? He got done by Epstein as well. Yeah, Mandelson.

Because Mandelson, who's the American diplomat from the UK, who had some really dodgy emails with Jeffrey Epstein after Epstein was caught. Not like years ago where I was just mates with him. He was like, how does it feel being out of prison? And he goes, milky or some shit. There was some weird thing he says like that. He goes, naughty boy, like that, right? And it's like, that cunt was actually, Stama actually brought him in, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That was really one of the, one of three things maybe why he was kicked out, correct? Yeah, it was also like the rape gang inquiries, the stabbings, the two-tier police system that people have realized this happening over there where, you know, He's the sort of the embodiment. He's also like gutless. You know what I mean? He's not lefty in an economic sense as much as people would like. He's also a flip-flopper. He's kind of an uninspiring squib of a man.

And he won in the biggest landslide in British history or something. No one ever... Yeah, because the Tories had been so, hey, you know, it was Boris and then Mrs. Lettis, what was her name? Oh, the one that was the last one that hung out with the queen. Liz Truss. Yeah, Liz Truss. Liz Truss met the queen.

She was voted in by the queen, then the queen dies. That's how the queen left this world. It was trust. And then Rishi, so like anyone was going to win. But now, I'll tell you what, it's going to be fascinating. Because then it's Nigel Farage and then he's got Rupert Lowe to his right. So the UK, all democracies, you know, right up in the fucking air, as people were all too happy to tell me in the chance, well, well, which I take as a compliment.

Your country's fucked as well. And I was like, I know. That's why I'm singing about yours. We're all fucked. First of all, they thought you were British in a gold jersey at the Australia versus America game. Yes, but I'm also doing a prestige to the Brits. That's a criticism I'll take. No, no, no, I like it, but like the fact that they thought you were after all of the information that they had in front of them.

I know, they thought they were attacking me. I was like, really? You thought my chance were British? No shit. Wow. I'm getting better at this. So it cures out. And the other story at the moment in.

American politics, beyond the Iran deal, which I don't think we should even cover anymore, because we're recording this two days early. It'll probably be ripped up. There's been a deal. There's no deal. Oh, they backed up. The war's over. The war's still happening.

The war's still happening. Like, you remember when, like, we don't obviously remember this, but we've all seen seen the footage. World War II ends, you're allowed to grab women in the street and make out with them. And people call it romance, that famous photo of the guy that just pulled the woman in. And then the next photo is her slapping him in the face that no one has ever seen. Wars over, war's starting. I'm sick of running out of my house and cheering and running up and down the street.

The war's over! The war's over! Everyone gets out and none of them leaving the house anymore. No, there's no excitement to be had on that one. Who knows what's going on? Stock market goes, wars over. That's all I do is check me stocks when the war ends. Now the big issue away from the Iran war,

is Donald Trump's reflecting pool. Have you seen the state of it? It reflects him. It's got algae on algae. I once had in a property that I owned. I had the mold, black mold. And it comes from fucking, it comes from someone swamming in a fucking swamp

or in a river, right, in their board shorts, haven't washed their board shorts, gotten in your pool. It is pool cancer, that shit. I had to have the pool emptied. I had to have it scraped. I have to have the chemical thing.

Then it came back again, right? You can't get rid of the black mold in a pool. Eventually, two or three goes. Jack was really running the whole thing. But we got rid of the black mold. We think I haven't seen the pool in a while. Now, this reflecting pond is substantially bigger than my pool. And all it takes is one little dot of that shit to make the algae,

and then you can't fucking get rid of it. They'll have to fucking, they'll have to empty it. they'll have to crack all the concrete, pour new concrete, and start again. Start again. This is what they've said here. So when Trump fixed it, and of all the things that he can do... It's because Jenny ran out in Forrest Gump and she ran into the water and she'd obviously been in the swamp earlier on that day and not washed her fucking hippie outfit.

That's where it started. It says they spent $16 million on the renovation, which is when it was painted to be that coat of blue, which is American flag blue ahead of the 250th anniversary. Of all the things I think Donald Trump would be capable of doing, it would be a refurb on a pool. This is a hotel magnate. I thought that he'd get that right. He's not blaming the occurrence of algae, which some people are saying was like heat in the shallow water and that there's no movement of the water. You know, there's no filtration system.

He's blaming vandalism. He says, work will begin immediately on fixing the seriously vandalized reflecting pool. I just inspected it and could only say to myself and those gather around me, wow, who would do so? such a thing, sick and deranged people. Trump has alleged that someone's took a form of knife or blade and put a 250-foot-long gash into the beautiful facade of what took so much work, competence and money. He's also saying anyone caught vandalising it in the future will get a 10-year prison sentence. I can't believe it hasn't happened more often.

As I said, if your dog has jumped in a river, then your dog hasn't been washed and jumps in that pool, the algae gets from there to there, and then it just spreads like cancer. So it's like, I can't believe this doesn't happen once a year. Well, he said it would cost $1.8 million for this project. It's up to $16 million right now. I mean, what do you? 1.8 million sounds very cheap. 16 million sounds like, look, how much money have we just given to Iran to open up the

Straits of a Moose? What was the figure? Oh, 300 billion. But I think it's like reparations that were like, what do you call it, embargoed money or frozen assets that we've given them back. Right, so that's out of my tax money. So let's say even if it's just a hundred billion out of USA tax payers money,

I'm happier for my money to go to the pool. Make the pool nice. It's a communal area. Well, it's not swim. Yeah, well, why don't they just do the dyed water? Why don't they just do the dyed water? Well, it's on the concrete. The concrete, the concrete, it's not, it's porous.

Let me a look at this Yeah, it's It's on the concrete, bro Yeah, is that them painting it? Yeah, they painted the bottom blue That's the algae That's the algae there It's on the concrete

It's not the water The water can be drained very easily And then pump back in You got to stop it And if you get a dot that's this small It'll spread again You've got to get rid of all of it chemical peel.

And have a look at this. They've got these guys, National Park Service employees use vacuums to remove green algae from the bottom of the memorial pool. What a contract to get. Oh, yeah. To be the pool boy? Yeah. You know it for the reflecting pool?

Yeah. You reckon there's just like one Mexican guy who just shows up in a truck and he's got his scoop and a little bit of, and he just pours in a bit of chlorine. And then he goes, I do this pool. I do the White House. I do another one out the back of Parliament. I do Trump International in Miami. No, he has to just drive around Washington.

All these got is around Washington. Well, that is funny if Donald Trump's like, it's not going to cost $18 million. I'm going to get illegal labor. Cash. They're going to work for cash. Biden brought them in. I didn't bring them in.

How old is this pull? When was it first made? When was it first made with the monument and all that type of stuff? Was it the 1940s? Let me preface this. I don't know what it was, but I do actually endorse the cleaning up of national monuments. I think that you need to make... They should be being clean constantly.

Iconic parts of America should be always clean and perfect. If you are the empire, you should look schmick. And when things are schmick, people vandalize less in my belief. It's that cracked window theory, which is once you leave cracks in windows, then people will more and more vandalize and crack because they go, no one cares. So I think there's way worse ways to spend your money than having a nice fucking reflecting pool. So I'm with them on this. Make it nice.

Make it a speech nice. Make all the different parts of America clean. What year was it made? Have a guess. Have a guess, Amos. I'm going to say, 1948. They came back from World War II.

They said, I've got an idea that's going to look nice. Because I know that I've seen it in, you know, I have a dream speech. I saw it in Forrest Gump, which was set in the 70s, that bit because he's in Vietnam,

or the 60s. I don't remember ever seeing it in a movie from before, like an old movie, real old movie. I'm going to say 1960. 1984. What are we got, Jack? 1914. 1914. And this is the first time the cunts got algae.

No, it was completely algae-ridden before. That's why he changed it. It was rebuilt between 2010 and 2012. 2010 and 2012. Yeah, it was green before. I remember when it was empty when I went out there. They were redoing it. So 26 then they came home from World War I and they went,

we're never going to have a war as big as that again. We need to have something nice here. No, well, they got used to digging trenches so they said, we've got to put these boys up to something. Yeah, yeah. The Great War. They'll never improve it. How quick did they change it from Great War to World War I?

How deep do you think they were in World War II when they went, we've got to change the name of the Great War because this one's bigger. Way bigger. Greater. This one's the great... Maybe because it's stagnant. No, that makes it sound good. That makes it sound good, yeah.

The hugest? You know what? It was the first one. And everyone's like, hold on, what about the Ball War? That wasn't as big as that one. I'm talking World Wars. Yeah, that one's just called that because it was boring. No, the Boer War.

World War I is like, actually when you think about it, you're like, what do you mean World War I? The whole world was formed by war. Yeah, no, no, but that was the first time the whole world got involved. every other war was just a couple of nations having a go and then the whole world got involved for World War I and the whole world got involved again World War II I only believe that when the Swiss get involved

the Swiss were the couple of holdouts the fucking Swiss with their pocket knife they never fucking use the pocket knife is 600 years old or some shit like really old is older than the wars never seen battle what do you think about this for an idea then we're already in a sort of idiocracy presidency with the dirt bikes and the UFC in the front lawn. Just make it a giant wave pool.

Make it deeper. Make it functional. Wave pool. Fucking. You want some slides? Slides. Put an hawker in there from SeaWorld. All right.

Okay. That's all too difficult. But what we could do is those swans that you have to paddle with your legs and those big bikes with the three wheels. Or permanent. permanently freeze it, ice skating all year. Have you ever been on one of those big bikes you're ride along? I've done it in Hawaii where you get on the bike. There's two of you you sit there.

You're up really high. It's like a monster truck with the three wheels. You paddle, you paddle, you paddle. You've never been hotter in your life and so close to water. You could refresh yourself very quickly, but it's a kind of a thing to get back on the bike. Actually, I've got it. You're boiling hot above the water like, oh, God, it'd be good to be in the water. Pedal, pedal, pedal.

If I get all the way back, I'll go in the water. You know what I think we have. actually do, which sums up America in a historical fashion, like the center of the country is you drain it of water. And I think that pool should be constantly full of oil that America is stolen from around the world. That's a memorial to what runs the economy. It's a big oil pool. Why hasn't anyone got a banner and stood next to it with a sign that says, drain the swamp? What a missed opportunity. And isn't that truly, as we finish up the pod, symbolism of the administration that promised to drain the swab did a quick repaint job,

surface thin, and then within weeks became just as dirty and swamp-like as everyone that came before them. I'm a muskule. He's Jim Jeffries. And this has been... Good night, pie lovers.