I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 71 - The Worst Photo Ever Taken of Jim

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

At this moment, Jim rants about a recent photo taken of him that may be the worst ever. Amos keeps trying to bring down the podcast with tragic news stories (most cut for time). They also talk about the passing of Dolly Parton and Jim's new stage of life.ADS:MOOD: Head to http://www.mood.com, find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. And don't forget to use promo code ATM when you check out to save 20% on your first order. Try it today at http://www.mood.com SOCIALS:Jim JefferiesWebsite: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠Amos GillIG: @abitofamosgillFB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the DoohickeysSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

That actually does look like you right now. I'd be proud of that picture. Take your glasses off. I be, I... Oh my God, you and my Leonopoulos. Today's episode is brought to you by Mood. Go to Mood.com for an incredible line of cannabis gummies, and you can get 20% off your first order with Mood.com with promo code ATM.

That's Mood. promo code ATN. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to At This Moment with me, Jim Jeffries. I'm here with Amos Gil. How are you doing, Amos? We're in the podcast debrief room now. This one was all right. I thought we fought back a touch.

Jack's got a lot of editing, as always. You'll enjoy it. You can find the edit points. Imagine what we said that was almost incriminated borderline. Lose your contract at your job on Disney or whatever you're doing, Jim. We had a fun one. Yeah. Well, look, I didn't enjoy last week's podcast.

I thought it was our worst work, but I think we've improved over time. But now, I want to advertise what I'm up to. September the 11th, Windsor, Ontario, September 12th, Thunder Bay. Ontario. And then this is a new one. On September 20th, I've decided to do, I did the comedy store during Netflix as a joke, just my own solo show, and I had such a great time doing the show. They've asked if I wanted to do Sundays throughout the year. And I'm doing one trial one to see how it goes, but it might be something that I do over and over again. But Sunday the 20th in Los Angeles, I'll be at the comedy store. It would just be me performing. I'll be doing like an

hour and a half if you want to. come along and have a watch. And for myself, I do come back finally to America. September 10, Tacoma, Washington, September 11, Vancouver in the theatre, September 12, Calgary and the nation's capital, Washington, D.C. on the 13th of September. Look forward to getting back. Good morning, good day and good evening. Welcome to the At This Moment podcast with me, Jim Jeffries.

I'm here with Amos Gill. There's a lot to talk about this week. How are you, mate? You're still in Australia? I'm in Perth, mate. I'm in Perth. One of the most beautiful cities in the world. Don't tell people.

They'll all want to move there. Don't tell everyone will want it if you tell them. I was pretty down it Adelaide for the last two weeks shooting the movie. And I came to Perth and I thought, oh yeah. You know, this is what Australia is all about on the postcard, isn't it? A bit of Rockness, Ireland, South Fremantle, Cappuccino strip. God, it's good. It's good.

There's no traffic. The weather's nice. You've got the quokas. It's a bang. You know what you've got to give it up for is natural vegetation. between the roads and the beach. Oh, I love that. You know, America just paves paradise and put up a parking lot?

You know, it's just water, highway. Yeah. There's nothing like the smell of Australian, like, ocean floor and fauna. Oh, I can smell Australia as soon as I land. There's also, there's a bit of eucalyptus in the air, and it's a bit of water. You know what else is good? Tits. That's off the subject, but they're also, they're also.

They're also, the Aussie tits. They're very good. They're very good. Can I tell you say, I got tits quickly? My mom worked in a plastic surgeon's office for years. Sure. Just as an employee, they eventually gave her a job. So she was, she was a clay model.

So we're out yesterday talking with people and mum goes, a lot of women, they just don't know that they've got weird tits. I think they know. No, their mom goes, this woman came in and she took off her chest. and her shirt, and I saw her chest. She had reversed ice cream cones. And I went like this. Oh! And she went, what's wrong?

They're small. Mom goes, small. They're bloody weirdest things I've ever seen. What do you mean reverse ice cream cones? So you reckon they started with the nipple and they went like downwards like that? That's what I said to when they were really thin and then they drooped out on the sides. It was the nipple, the ice cream cone and then the skin was hanging down. But I think that's my mom's job when she worked for the surgeon was to make women up charge.

by sort of criticising other parts of their body on the way in. Because she said this woman had come in to get her fanny tightened up because turns out her husband left her. And the day that she decided they needed to divorce, he was having sex with her. And mum goes, he was reading a stick magazine on her back to maintain an erection because he said that her fanny was all munted. Well, I'll tell you what.

Look, we understand what's happened there. But reading, reading's a broad word to be saying. in that bit. Hang on, hang on, she likes, long walks on the beach. I'd never heard of it called a Stickmag. Sticky magazine. Is that one as Sticky Magazine? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's abbreviated down to stick.

It's a stick magazine. So they used to call them sticky books, right? Because they got, you know, they got sticky. The pages stuck together. It's been, dude, it's been an old time. I've had three days in my God, she cracks me up. I was just watching. I just dropped off the kids to school, my younger brother who's 12,

and he goes, they're bullying me at school at hockey. And mum says, what did they say? And he goes, they said that I, I hit, my hockey stick hits a shit. And mum goes, but your hockey stick hits our shit. That's not bullying. That's just feedback. Yeah. It's nice feedback.

Lovely. Then mum goes, we'll just get better at hockey sticks or find something that you are good at. And you bully them when they're bad at that. She's not half-fron. though. She's not completely wrong. Like in the workplace, if you go, you're not good at this job, that isn't bullying, is it? Like, if you're not good at a particular job within the job, like, you're not good at cleaning up or you're not good at filing away bits of paper or something like that and your bosses, you're not good at that. It's not bullying, is it? So it's honestly,

because it reminds me, because watching mum parent these kids reminds me of how I was parented. So it's a very triggering event to watch it. But I kind of endorse it in some ways where she's like, well, you've found out your shit at that. So you don't have to waste your time. Everyone's got talents. Hockey isn't going to be it. But you'll find something. I'm going to tell you a funny story about the wife.

So, well, first of all, let's start with my wife. And my five-year-old had his birthday party, right? And my wife, we don't put pictures of the children up on social media. We keep it all private. And my wife put up a photograph of me and her and thinks that's socially acceptable because she looks good in the picture. Yeah? She looks good in the picture.

And she has this 80-year-old mental health person just standing up to the side. Just going, oh, yeah, your birthday, birthday. Let's be honest, Jack, that is him going, come on, cut the cake. Oh, that's good. Have you blown out all your candles? Like that. And my wife had the audacity when it's a good photo of us. What are the photos she's not fucking posting?

Imagine if I had a photo where I looked handsome and I put my wife just looking like a frump standing next to me, I'd be done for. Now, but as a man, though, there's something deep down where you're almost proud because Tasey does look, she looks super hot there and then you look as bad as I've ever seen you. It really is a flex that you're able to pull that. It really is. He must be successful.

Look at him. In that photo, you know who's paying for the house, don't you? Well, they say that the NDIS, the National Disability Insurance Scheme, is getting ripped off and it does look like you've been taking. making it for a ride. All right, so I'll tell you a funny story about me, wife. So we like, do you like Dave's killer bread? Yeah, no, it's just that, it's that bread that's like 45 calories of lies and myth with seeds and stamped down into some sort of soft bread that you could put your finger through immediately.

Yeah, okay. So, but as American bread goes, it's good bread in comparison to other American breads, right? and you can buy it at Whole Foods and it has somewhat of an organic feel to it. And it's made by a guy called Dave. And Dave was a prisoner who spent, I believe, 14 or 15 years in this. I'll just check out on Dave there for me, Jack. He spent 14 or 15 years in prison. Right.

And that's why he made all the breads out of seeds. It was whatever he could get into the jail where he stamped it into what he pretends to be a loaf. It's what he could pick out of his poo, right, at the end of the day. Right. So what happened is Dave now employs ex-convicts to come in and work at the factory and that's how they produce the bread. And I think that's kind of a nice thing, a rehabilitation things. It gives people a purpose and a job. And it's gone on to be a billion dollar company, Dave's Killer Bread.

My wife was telling this story to our five-year-old. And because he's like, I go, was it Dave's Killer Bread? She goes, oh, it's Dave's Killer Bread. Why is it called Dave's Killer Bread? And my wife, just 15 years, but on and off, like four years, he's, he's. What did he do? What did he do? Okay, well, this is a thing. So it's petty crimes and a bit of armed robbery. And he did shit, right? He did shit, Dave, right? He also went back to prison, I believe, in 2014, just because he just, like, lost his mind. After he's successful, he went back again, he got charged again. But that's beside the point. Anyway, my wife went on to tell the child, it's because he was a murderer. He's never a murderer. My wife believes it's called Dave's Killer Bread because he's bragging about.

his crime, right? Right? Unlike, it could have been called Dave's rapist bread. Dave's. I didn't pay all me taxes, bread. Mike Child Born Loaf. I do like those, like, ex-con businesses because there's certain convicts we don't mind reintegrating, but if it was, yeah, it's a company of pedophiles, right?

We're putting them back on their feet at the candy factory. Here's some non-sliders. Slider buns Yeah Rock Rock spider candy Anyway so I thought that was a bit of fun Our manager is calling me right now

Okay I was assuming he was going to be in a different room from you I know he's calling me He's back in my house I was going to get by But anyway so the wife Dave's Killer Bread I thought that was a funny story I had a good week actually with Oh it's don't tell the wife that

She'll never get it again Oh bloody hell Oh she's gone off now Go take a nice Spire it of yourself and don't worry about my feelings. Anyway. Tell Taze you look delightful. Amos says you look delightful.

Thank you. That's what we got from downstairs. So I got to talk about Dolly Parton. I'm a Dolly Parton. Okay, so this is what I'm going to say about Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton's passed away. And the thing about Dolly Parton is, so I can go on a special and post a clip of me saying,

Johnny Cash sucks. And I will get a lot of hate for that. A hell of a lot of hate. I'll get hate mail nonstop. I got another man who's sending me a song a day. I've spoken about this. But I don't believe I'm strong enough to be able to post a clip that says Dolly Parton sucks. I believe the uprising would be too big.

Because Dolly Parton, everyone liked that. Some people love Elvis. Some people love the Beatles. I love both. But there's people who hate Elvis and hate the Beatles. And there's people who love Dolly Parton. There's people who love Dolly Parton, and the rest of us fucking like her. And it doesn't matter whether you're left wing or right wing.

It doesn't matter what gender you are, what sexuality you are. I haven't seen the world agree on something more than the day when Dolly Parton died. And everyone was like, she was all right. I bet Liam and Noel Gallagher rang each other when she was fucking all right. Her, you know, Dolly Parton really liked her. She was a good life. I only knew Dolly Parton because of Ricky Jervais when I was a kid.

What? Because they were their tits. No, you know the clip. Yeah, I know. What's the? If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain. Do you know who said that? Which philosopher?

Dolly Parton. And they said she's just a big pair of tits. Well, this is the thing. So let's think back to what's his name? The director, whose son killed him. Rob Reiner. right? And Trump makes a cun of himself and says, oh, you got killed because he didn't like me.

And then Dolly Parton dies and I hear right away within seconds, the flags are being dropped to half-mast, right? And I was thinking, Trump, he's done a right here. He's done okay. Like, he's actually pitched like, he's being an appropriate presidential person here. And he's like, the whole country's in mourning. We drop it for Dolly. First of all, the news came out first of all that it was kidney stone. So I felt a big allegiance towards it. Like now it turns out it's cancer, I believe. So we don't know, but she kept it all very proper. The lady never had kids. She was married to the same bloke for 60 years, right?

He stayed out of the limelight. But this is old Trumpy. This is what Trump had to say. I don't get that up. He first of all, he a eyeed a picture of the two of them together because there is no actual photo of the two of them together. Yeah, but I thought like they tried to do it. When you said he a eyeed it, I thought it was going to be like he's trying to pass off like it's real. This is just a painting.

So I'll let that slide. Right, but it's them walking through the wing to the new ballroom that doesn't exist either. Yeah. Right? I thought it was going to be, I thought it was going to be worse. I thought it was going to be like when he was the doctor healing people. Let's wait and hear the actual quote. She had great tits, really.

They were the best of us. Well, that's why I thought that he was being so nice. I thought he was like, well, you know, you know, you got to give it to her the very best. Back when people weren't doing it, she was doing it now. They're all doing it, but she was the Rosa Parks of fake tits. I mean, when he says Make America Great again, that is what he's thinking, though. He wants Dolby. Yeah, he wants it.

So he goes, where's the- Camilla Cabo. What a terrible artist. Where's the quote? We all knew her so well. I knew her a little bit. She wasn't very political person. She really liked me, I can tell you.

That was his quote. She really liked me, I can tell you. after a person dies, I see he says here that she couldn't support me because she'd lose 20% of her fans. I think it might have been 50. But I don't think even when he's

lying about that, he's like only 20% of the country. I'm not popular with 20%. Get the fucking of the ridiculous looney left. Yeah. Never liked me. But she always used to say that

her mother was a Democrat and her father was a Republican and she was a hypocrite was her big thing and she always stayed out of politics. But since then, her sister has actually said, no, she despised old Trumpy, her and Trumpy, not fans of old Trump. So there you go. But Dolly Parton, oh, Misha, my favorite, what was your favorite Dolly Parton song, Amos? Jolene. You know what Jolene's a bang.

You know what Jolene was about? Because I watched a whole documentary about this woman. There's a local bank teller who kept on hitting on a, on her, husband who was really good looking bird. And I'm like, all right, that's fair. I write a song, don't take my man just because you can. Back when bank tellers were hoddies, what a time, huh? I tell you what.

One time when I moved down there, now they're machines. ATM. Hard to get you dick in one of those, I tell you. Machine, machine, machine, machine. I'm begging of you. I once had one of my special. I once had one of my special.

specials, I deposited the check on one of my specials like that. And the girl behind the bank machine, she was just like, yes, not ours. And then I handed the check and she looked at it and looked up and went, and what are you doing for the weekend? Anyway, dated her for four years. Four years. And also, we lost Tim Curry. Let's talk about Tim Curry for a second.

Nigel Thorneberry. One of the best. I love him. He was, what did he say? He and Eric Idol said about Hollywood for British men like themselves. they're either villains or butlers. Yes. That's it.

They're your two options. Villain or butler. I will say that. I was thinking this the other day. I was watching... Cup of ambition. Because I've started watching Star Wars with my five-year-old, and I was watching Star Wars, and the Emperor came on.

Now, was there ever more perfect timing in the history of acting than that bloke being about 35 years old when Return of the Jedi was made? And they covered him with the old man makeup, and you are like that, right? then when the prequels come around the cunt's now 65 is perfect age and then they leave it for a while and then they do those three movies at the end

and the cunt's fucking 80 he's the only person that survived all the way through Star Wars properly it was the perfect casting but you know his other job his name is Dermott McDermott I think was his second name

or something like that but his job was playing the emperor the greatest villain in history with the yellow contacts and the thing and the die Like that's how it up. And then he was the butler and dirty rotten scoundrels.

So you're fucking correct. Correct. That's what they get. Ian McDermid. Yeah, I got there. Ian McDermid. Yeah, butlers and fucking villains. But it's still better than what Australians.

What do we get to play? We get to play like some stupid individual or now we get to be action stars. Thank you for the trail that has been paid. We play men and America is out. They've got rid of their own men. Yeah, but we can't play villains. Yeah, we can. Be a James Bond, an Australian James Bond villain.

Give it to me. Okay, you've got a scar over your eye, you're patting a cat, you swivel around in a chair, what do you got for me? It's time for you to die, cunt. Yeah, time for you. James, you fucking shit, cunt. How many times have you fucked me in the ass with me plans? I spent a fortune on that laser, and you've come in and you're fiddled with it,

and the whole thing's gone to the dogs. Oh, fuck, I'll choke you out. Fucking get that Asian guy in the bowler hat, the bloody throw it at you. He does odd jobs around the house. Handyman, we do him? Martini he drinks. What are you an old woman? Have a fucking frothy, mate.

I'll have a beer shaking. Trick you? Don't do that. Yeah, no, there is. It's actually South Africans get to be the villain also. South Africans, they get to be a villain whenever they want. Speaking of South Africa quickly, did you see the fucking flyover of the two planes

over their rugby stadium? What happened? They take both of their planes. Did they? You know, they got two like Boeing 747s from like the National Airline were meant to fly over the stadium.

You haven't seen this? No, I have not seen this. And they, I think they cleared the roof by 10 meters. Well, how much space do you need? You only need to clear it by a sender meter. It was magic. Millimetre. As long as it got hit by a millimeter.

It got hit by one of the fireworks on the way through. You haven't seen this. No, no, no, no. Jack, I would have sent it to you, but, you know. You said to me before he started the podcast, I said, I want to talk about Dolly Part, and I've got a story about my wife, and I've got another thing about drink driving, right?

And you went like this. Floods in Nepal, nuclear strike maybe happening over England, death everywhere. And then you've missed, aeroplane almost hit South African Stadium? This is good stuff. We could have done the... Well, they got a bloody good... They got hit by the...

fireworks on the way through. I was out with a South African guy yesterday and he's like, why is everyone saying this is such a bad thing? It's a flyover. You want to make it look bloody dangerous. Everyone's so soft here. Oh, it has to have 100 metres clearance. Then what's the point?

I'm with him. That's what I'm saying. What's the big problem? They made the pilots. They made the distance. Hey, you know what is the most weakest piss thing in the whole wide world? I don't know. Someone was saying this on a TV show the other day, like a reality show or something like

that people look good skydiving right when you jump out of a plane you can look dramatic and you can look like mission impossible and do the diving thing and put your arms while you're like but as soon as the the shoot opens and you're just dangling yeah on a bloke as well yeah no one looks good doing this right now that's what was always whenever you were whenever you were watching um you used to go to rugby league games as a kid and that always oh there's a guy in a parachute and he's going to land in the stadium. To deliver the ball? Yeah.

That is as pissed weaker thing you'll ever see in your life, a man landing on a big grass field in the middle, and he waves that you're like, I did, I jumped out of a plane. What are we all hoping as kids, you want to see him land in the roof or hit punters in the crowd? Right?

Like, he's coming in a parish. He has to be cut down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want him dangling from the side of the arena. We don't want the one landing properly in the whole thing. Here's a good story. I actually sent this to you a few days ago. Just thought you could do with a laugh.

Check out this drink driver in your local neighbourhood of Taramari. It wouldn't be even drink driving in Taramara. But this is probably one of the, if this turns out that it very well may be a Mike Myers character, this is the worst driving I've ever seen in a car park. Have a look at this. A Sydney woman has pleaded guilty to one of the worst cases of drink driving. Elizabeth Buzwa was caught on camera. Elizabeth Buzwa.

Reversing from a supermarket car park at Taramara. She damaged five other cars, including one with a newborn baby in the backseat. The 62-year-old today pleaded guilty to negligent and drink driving after blowing more than five times the legal limit. It's great because you can see what happened. All she's done is gone from backing out of the car park. She's put her foot on the accelerator, and she's kept on. whipping it around. She's panicked and she keeps pumping the accelerator thinking it's the

brake. And she goes around and around a donor. I also like that her name's Elizabeth Bouchoir. Now, we all know that's not her real name. Her real name's, her real name's, her real name's boaget, right? I love that. She's obviously, I don't know if that was the pub, that was the Bowles Club, right? She's had a skinful in there, and then she's gone to leave. Do you think she then stops her with the cops cab? She goes, I worked out, I was a bit too drug to dry, so I stopped the car. I think it was the, I don't think it was the Bowles Club. I think, my father goes to that bowl's club every day, right? So I don't think it's the Bowles Club. I think it's the shopping center near the Bowles Club in Taramara. Also, they said that one of the cars had a baby in the

back of it. There's no babies that's ever visited that bloody Bowles Club. I tell you, I tell you. I was laughing about the Bowles Club the other day. When my mother passed away, when my mother passed away, we went down to the funeral home to, you know, pick out the coffins and all that type of stuff. And my dad had a voucher at the funeral home that he'd gotten out of the Bowles magazine, right? You know how... You're getting me. Yeah, as you get older, right?

As you get older, the ads start to zone in on you, right? It even happened before we had these algorithms, even before we had these algorithms. But, you know, you're watching Hogan's heroes. I'm going to tell you about life alert necklaces, right? If I spend 10,000, apparently I get a bonus mausoleum. That's how I want to bury it. This is basically what happened. And sometimes the people from white lady funerals,

which is the name of the funeral company, because it was all run by ladies and they all wear white outfits. It's not because they're all white women. That just happens to be a coincidence, right? The KK crypt. But white lady funerals in Sydney, they would come down to the bowling club. And they'd go, they'd go, you know, we do this package, that package, we do this package, this

package. And then they give them all a 20% off voucher because they're at the bolo, like that, right? So my dad came down like he was buying a Big Mac and you get a two-for-one deal with a cardboard, a bit of a paper in his pocket that had 20% off. And he was like, I'm from the Taramara Bowling Club. They give us a discount. And the lady was like, that's, oh, we do give the discounts. I wonder if they do price matching, you know, where there's another, there's another funeral home.

It's like, we'll beat it by, we'll beat it by 15%. And we'll throw in some sandwiches for the wake. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's like, remember back in the day, like before the internet? A wake so good, you'll be sad, you're asleep. Yeah. Make the person in the coffin jealous.

This wake's so good, it'll rise the dead. That is, that's my favorite thing about wakes is, I'm sure these, I'm, I've seen lots of memes of this, but that is the human life story. You spend all this time building this life and you think that you're the center of the universe, only to be dead and have relatives fiddling through a few sandwiches talking about whether or not this one's good or that one's good. The sweets were no good. What happened with us was, we all went in there and they go, oh, they go, okay, so my dad had the voucher, 20% off. And he goes, she wants, this is literally how quick the funeral was decided.

She wants these three songs played. She wants her granddaughter to read this hymn, and she would like this music coming in, this music coming out, this is what she wants, right? And then it was like, and we'll have your basic box. We don't have to go special. And a basic box with a flower arrangement on the front and we'll have one reef, right? Anyway, so they go, they go, okay, well, the basic box is made of cork poured, right? That's the one they advertise in the magazine. To pin all your achievements on this.

Yeah, literally you could pin like, you put pins up there and just. go, she traveled. It was really into making teddy bears. And what does it cost you? Okay, so I can't remember the exact price of that package. It was like $6,000 or so. I can't remember the exact price, right? But it was like, this is the thing.

And then we looked at each other. That's how quick she said it. And then we looked at each other and we can't go in a bloody cork board box. We've got to get a better fucking box than that. Right. And then they... You've got to just disintegrate. great anyway. So what's the point? Well, she's getting cremated. The box gets burnt with you.

They don't take you out of the box. They whack you in the box and they burn the box down as well so that they... So who cares how good the box was to start with? Might as well make a cardboard. So you know you're getting a fresh new box. That's the theory. It must just, and then they just scrape off some ashes out of the thing. You're getting the last five people have been there. They don't clear it out each time. They just scoop out some ashes and off they go. You're not getting just your ashes. you're getting a little bit of the person before and this person and that person and all that type of stuff, right? Yeah, I was going to say, in Greece,

I just went to my mate's grandma's grave. You know what they do in the Orthodox tradition? They bury you. You get two years or something buried. Then they dig you up, wash your bones and put them in a box. And then your box is put into this big mausoleum type thing and you walk in there and everyone in the family's boxes are there and you go and pay your tribute to the box.

And then the scariest bit is there's a box with your name on it next to your fucking siblings. And the whole point is you go in there and go, I'll be in that box soon. And so it makes you go out there and live a life worth living. I don't believe you should take up space. I don't believe in being buried. That's taking up real estate.

There's only so much real estate on earth. And you can't take up a plot of land for the rest of fucking eternity. Plus, they never kept well. And only one generation ever cleans your tombstone. And then the grandparents don't, grandkids don't give a shit. And then eventually it's just an old place for teenagers to fuck. Stay there from one second.

I'm not going to show you something. All right, okay. He's going to bring out his grandmother. Today's episode is brought to you by mood. Right? Is that all you got for me? Yeah, I was just letting you in. We finish each other's sentences.

Don't we? A wonderful rapport. Did you know there's an online cannabis company that ships federally legal THC right to your door. That's straight to your door. And they've found a way to combine THC with carefully selected functional ingredients, create gummies,

bake goods and flour for whatever the buzz you want. I'm talking about mood.com. They've an incredible line of cannabis gummies, and you get 20% off your first order at mood.com with promo code ADM. I personally enjoy the pure relief CBD gummies for my sore joints, Jim. You know my knees are absolutely cactus.

Enjoy the gentle relaxation without any psychoactive effects so I can hobble around my house with a bit of peace. Well, my body, even though I am about 15 years, older than Amos, my body is in tip-top condition and doesn't need that at all. I'm into the magic mind gummies for focus, deep work and enhanced creativity. They go beyond gummies. Mood also has a selection of flour, pre-rolls, bake treats and beverages. Listen, Charlie, I'm talking about mood right now.

We're trying to advertise Mood. If you could be a little bit quiet, this is important work. That is up too. Listen, you can find the gummies and just get your high pretty much anywhere these days. but moods functional gummies combined premium legal THC and targeted biotanicals to help you get into the perfect mood usually within 15 minutes. 15 minutes you're there. Best of all, not only is every mood product backed by a 100 day satisfaction guaranteed. But as I mentioned, listeners get 20% off their first order with code ATM.

So what should they do, Amos? They should go to mood.com and put in ATM as the program. promo code to get 20% off your first order. Change your mood with mood. Go to mood.com with promo code ATM. Head to mood.com for functional gummies that match exactly what you're looking for and let the mood help you discover your perfect mood. And don't forget to use the promo code ATM when you check out and say 20% off your first order.

Try today at mood.com. What have you got for me? So mum's bloke Wayne, right? Yeah, we love Wayne. He's got a dog. And the little fellow sailie, Louis, passed away. Here he is. He's in a, he's in a little box here.

This is Louis. Oh, that's a candle. Uh-huh. Sorry. Louis's ashes are in here. Yeah. So they've got to find a place. There he is.

He's in this little thing, the dog. And he died two weeks ago, the poor bastard. So Wayne was at the yacht club the other day. And he walked the dog. He was taking his dog for one large. walk to the boat and have a little swim before he was put down, right? Because he was, he was cactus. Oh, yes, yes.

And so, and he's saying goodbye to all the people on their boats, because he's been there for 13 years, little Louis. And the Yacht Club has banned Wayne for three months for breaching the dog's inside rule because he's walked the dog through there. Yeah, but he can't take the dog again. So, so. He's not going to take a puppy there, is he? He's got a three-month ban, which everyone thinks is really harsh.

So I said yesterday, we had, he were allowed to walk through there to get to his boat, but he's not allowed to drink in there for punishment. And little do they know, Louis's been put down and now he's ashes. So he walked through there with ashes yesterday and said, look, we thought about what you said and we decided to punish the dog. Can we come back in? Just give us a fight. Have they let him off?

No, man, he's got a full three. They may be referring to your mum. So the complete. plead assos. I said to Wayne, you know what? We should go in there. I'll sneak him because he's not allowed in. I might just scatter Louis's ashes on the carpet around the yacht club and go, you want him out and vacuum him. I'll just store him in little parts where they can't get to him. How would you be banning someone for three months for a bloody little pooch walking through? Well, you've got to set some type of precedent.

I understand. You know, you can't have it all the time. If they knew the dog was dying, it might be a little bit tripe, but you, no, no. You've got to have standards. Also, there's something about men of that age in Australia. They all love the little shih Tzu dogs, eh? Like men between the ages of 50 to 70 in Australia, big Aussie blokes, they just love a little fluffball. Well, a little tiny fluffy dog as well. They do small shits.

They're relatively clean. They'll sit up on your thing. They'll yop when people come here. There'll be enough of a guide dog where children aren't afraid of them. They're fucking bangers. What's your problem? I want to get one myself. No, but they always start off like, I don't know.

What are they? I don't want that. No, no, they start off as young men with big dogs, with big dogs that they, but also they take less walking and everything. It's all relative. At the end, you just want a hamster just sitting on your chest, you know. All right, all right, Richard Gere. And just shit everywhere.

You want something they could get up your tunnel. How did poor Richard Gere get, Richard Gere never done anything wrong? You've never seen him out doing anything wrong. And for some reason, there's been an urban. that he puts a tube up his ass and he puts he puts a gerbil it's never a hamster it's always a gerbil right he puts a gerbil up there and then he's meant to suffocate the thing until it dies and tries to scratch his way out and that's the way he ejaculates this poor man i'll give you

the hot tip he must have pissed off the wrong agent in hollywood who really got to the rumour mill i tell you what it hasn't stopped him from working though people really believe it though like imagine that all the work you've done to be this swooning character if i was really Richard Gere, every time I was using a public toilet, when I walked out of the cubicle, I'd go like that. I thought he'd never get out. But is there any ones about women? Like, you know, Julia Roberts, I don't know if you heard this.

She puts honey on her clip, and then she lays in the public part, and the ants go in there and bite her clitoris and gets her off. There was a famous woman in Britain who's not famous here, and she, there was a rumor that there was a photo of her having a dog-licking peanut butter off her that was always circling around about this lady. And, you know, look, I'll tell you what, because I was mildly famous in England for a period of time there. You don't ask her twice. She doesn't like being asked about it.

Fucking old, moody. You asked her about it, did you? No, no, that was the joke, though. I had a girl at my school who I'm not going to say a name. She's a nice girl. Sarah Cummings. We went over to our house once in grade eight, and she goes, I got a trick with the dog. And the trick was she gets a leaf and she jacks it off.

Like she holds his cock with a leaf. And everyone went. That's not a trick. Why the leaf? Because she didn't want to touch it with her hands. That'd be gross. She needed something in between her. Here we go.

Jack has just found me this. Richard Gere is still mad about Stallone after he spread rumors about rushing him to an ER to get a gerbil removed from his rectum. It was Stallone. Yeah. Hey, hey. He was trying to get things taken up me. What a fucking question. Sylvester Stallone allegedly told Dolly Parton

for giving money to a homeless person once. So there you go. But there's a lot of Dolly Parton. But Sylvester Stallone has the legendary story about leaving his microphone pack on and getting a blow job in his trailer. Yeah. Now cradle the balls, stroke to shaft.

Tell me you like it. And now I say, go Rocky, go. That's more like you're a trumpet person. And they, you know, you got to keep it lower. So that's what I want to say also about Dolly Parton. Did you see Ricky Schroeder? You see what Ricky Schroeder, if I can tweet it out about, I'm doing. I've never heard of Ricky Schroeder, so you'll have to...

You have heard of Rick. Ricky Schroeder was on a TV show called Silver Spoons when I was a kid, so you wouldn't have heard him from then. Then he went on to be in a movie called Little Lord Fauntleroy, which you've heard the term Little Lord Fonnery. Then he was a cop in Nippety Blue, NYPD Blue. He was in NYP. PD Blue was a cop.

And then he played Dolly Parton's father twice in two different miniseries that she produced, right? They played Dolly Parton. Then he sent out his tweet when Dolly died, the day he died, and it was like, we didn't always agree on things. It's one of the exact tweet, so I don't get into too much trouble here. Okay, so Ricky Schroeder tweeted out, I didn't agree with her advocating for transgender and COVID vaccine support.

but I loved her anyway. Thank you for choosing me, Dolly, to be your movie daddy. And there was a picture of him and Dolly. There it is, right? Vaccines, trannies, trannies, vaccines. This is the thing. She was very big with the LGBT community. She even entered at one stage a lookalike competition

with a whole lot of trans people that were dressed like her, right? She lost. Yeah, well, of course, but they all knew she was actually Dolly. That's the same thing as Elvis entered an Elvis competition and he lost. all knew Elvis was there and so they made him come second. It was all a big laugh, right? But history will always go, and they didn't even win. But Dolly Parton, she did all these different things.

Ricky Schroeder, what is just wrong with just going, going, I loved her. Thank you for so much for letting me play you dead. Why do you have to go, we didn't always agree on everything? Get the fact. When you die in the next few years or whatever it is, you know, 10. Yeah. Yeah, sure. I won't go, Jim Jeffries, we did a podcast.

together and he was responsible for getting me to America. His views on bananas I did not agree with. His atheism, I found reprehensible. He was a pig. But I loved you. We did not agree on guns or Johnny Cash. But thank you for letting me co-host a podcast with you. Good luck in hell.

I never forgave him for wearing a leather t-shirt. But to each their own. How dare this man mocked the village people and dress the way he did? Yeah, no one can... I wear leather shirts without t-shirts underneath these two. That's what he used to do. He used to wear a leather t-shirt. Leather shirt, not a t-shirt.

T-shirt is what I'm wearing now. You're implying that I have a leather t-shirt that I'd have to pull over my head and then stretch over me arms. Can you imagine how hard it would be to take that cut off without a pair of fucking clipping shoes? Your generation was up to some wacky shit. No, I wore a leather shirt. I grew up liking Eddie Murphy and him and his leather thing, so I'd wear a button-up leather shirt with you.

just a bare chest and afterwards I'd smell horrendous. My point is, Ricky Schroeder, go fuck yourself. Also, her supporting the COVID vaccine. That's what, hey, have you seen the people who've written, this is how Dolly died? She had the vaccine. Fucking five years ago. Five years ago, when are we going to stop beating this horse?

Oh, it's because of the fucking vaccine. This is why this cunt's doing that. It's because of the vaccine. But, no, Dolly, they reckon cancer, but we'll find out what cancer soon. but Ricky Schroeder, he just loves her anyway, even though she was nice to the trans people. How dare she? And she was good about the vaccine. Well, because everyone's doing fan maintenance, aren't they?

So everyone's terrified that if they like someone who their audience might disagree with, it's going to hurt their fucking bottom dollar, which is so. This is the biggest open goal you have in the whole world is saying something nice about Dolly Parton. That's the easiest open net shot you'll ever have in your whole life is Dolly Parton's dead. What should I say? Now, when Trump dies, who he, Schroeder might be a big fan of Trump, then he could just go, I thought he was a great president, a great man, and I'm going to miss him, right? Like that, right?

He doesn't have to go, I didn't agree with him. I agreed with him on immigration. I agreed with him on the trans thing. I didn't agree with him on how he handled the tariffs, and I didn't agree with him on how he handled the straight of Hormuz, but I liked him anyway. You don't need to mention the fucking things. You just say, lovely lady, great voice, loved boy. all.

And we like the only people, by the way, who have grown up with the era where everyone has to eulogize everyone who dies. Like, everyone feels the need to post a picture of them with that person. I've never understood this. People post a picture of them just to prove that they have met the person once. There's plenty of people that I have photos with that have died. The only person I posted about really, in recent memory, was Bob Sagitt. and me and Bob Sagitt were friends.

And I didn't post a picture of the two of us together. I just put a picture of him up and just said, uh, Victor Willis I did. I post about Victor Willis, but I didn't post a picture of us together because, because we'd given Victor Willis so much shit, man. And we'd given him a hard time.

And I don't think, I've got to be honest, we didn't contribute to his health. I don't reckon. I don't reckon. So I thought, I thought I owed it to Victor. And let's,

let's be honest, we know that one time Victor was sitting at home with his wife. He was sitting there with Karen one time going, I told you not the fucking... You poke the bear. What? No comedians!

Moving forward. No more. Sue some athletes that say, don't sue comedians. We'll keep taking the piss. Yeah, so I did with Victor Willis, yeah. And Victor Willis was a weird one for me because I got off a plane and I didn't know what had happened. but I had received so many text messages on my flight to Australia that I thought it was

someone who was very close to me had died. But everyone, like, as soon as I heard the news, you were the first person I thought of. It is true, though. Yeah, I've been really connected to this man that I've never met. And you know what? After watching so much village people did look at the lyrics and that type of stuff, he was a hell of an entertainer. He was a great entertainer.

He had it. He had whatever it was, he had it. Would you like me to move into my portion of the news now? Sure. I like America before you get our Lake America. I like America, what? No, Lake America. Lake Ontario.

Have you not seen this? What's happened? Well, there's the Gulf of America now instead of the Gulf of Mexico. Yeah, but we haven't changed out on the map, have we? There's not maps that say the Gulf of America. Yeah. Google Maps is updated. Google Maps is updated.

Not even the Gulf of Europe of Europe. USA. Gulf of America. Yeah, but it's America, it covers a lot of place. Well, that's why they're saying. If you keep saying to us that you're not America, we are all America. They went, good. Then we'll call it Gulf of America then because it's for all of us.

You know what? I mean, you've sold it to me that quick. All right, I'm in. I'm in with that one. See, I could be his, I could be his PR team. I don't think he said that, but it does make sense. No, that does make sense because I was about to say, look, if he's called it the Gulf of USA and so because he calls it the Gulf of America, we're all part of America.

Today's changing Lake Ontario. Well, this is the thing is I lived in Perth on the Indian Ocean. It just didn't feel like it was India there. I just feel I feel like it should be called the Australian Ocean. We take up more of the landmass that's on the ocean. But why do the Indians get to call it the ocean? Anyway, so Lake Ontario, so in Canada. Yeah, Lake Ontario has been changed.

Basically what's happened is the Trump administration, who promised the Golden Age for their supporters, have got absolutely nothing done, and are probably single-handedly sinking the empire as the Straits of Amuse and the dollar crisis wrecks any future for the country as a global superpower. He said, well, how about this instead? We've renamed a lake. And what's it called now, Lake America?

Lake America, baby. You know what we're doing? Donald Trump said we're going to get out, the criminal gangs, and we're going to end war, and we're going to be rich again. And now we've got a $100 barrels of oil. We've got a never-ending war with Iran that we seem to be losing. There's a potential threat of nuclear weapons. That's why the CIA Chief John Rackcliffe, met with the Kremlin, but also

we did get rid of some immigrants, namely Milo Yianopoulos got deported. He's now in London. Is he? Well, that's nice. Did you see that? No, that's nice. Milo got deported because he turned against the administration and he's overstayed his visa

supposedly. You've got to feel bad for Milo Yanopoulos because as a very, very superficial homosexual man, the headshot they chose of him was stressful. I mean, twinked death of the highest variety. Oh, please.

Try taking a photo with my wife, Milo. That actually does look like you right now. I'd be proud of that picture. Take your glasses off. I'd be, I... Oh my God, you and Miliannopoulos. Mali Annopoulos, of course, you came up in the first culture wars and the lead up to 2015, 2016.

This joke's only for a few people. My name would be Obelty Pernopolis. Well, hey, I don't know who those people are because it wasn't. me. Yeah. It's all just for pie lovers in Australia. And for Malaysians. Malaysians love Milo as well.

You can buy Milo and McDonald's over there. That was one of the big cultural differences I found. You didn't, you weren't, yeah, you went on the internet heavily in 2015. Well, for the Milo years when it was Ben Shapiro, Gavin McKinnis and Milianopoulos, and they'd go to universities and debate people. And it was like, triggered fat. Triggered fat, lezo can't handle truth. Yeah, but this is the thing is, I never watch that stuff because it doesn't, it

It doesn't feed the soul, man. It just angers the blood. I just, when you listen to these things about these people are shit and we're good and these people are good and we're, we're terrible or whatever, you never feel better at the end of it. Did you ever listen to Milo and afterwards going, I feel a bit calmer? Oh, I know. But in Culture War I, that was when we were young and fighting.

It was, it was fun, fun old times. No, no. The last time I had fight in me was, would have been George Bush probably, when. where all the comedians my age were right on about the war in Iraq and this guy's fucking. And now we love the guy. Seems like a friendly bloke who paints. I don't know if I said this to you. Oh, yeah.

You've said everything to me. We've talked for hours endlessly. That's how there. There's nothing crazier to me than that fucking generation that despises Donald Trump and so be it. But like Donald Trump for a while there was seen as far worse than the Bush administration who'd absolutely. fucked it. God knows how many countless lives in the Middle East. But George Bush picked up a paintbrush and everyone was like, oh, I liked him.

Yeah, but he was funny. It's just like, how easy it is to refurb yourself to the general public. Just, look, I'm going to take photos next to Ellen, so I look more likable. Crazy shit. Have you ever met Ellen? God, no. I've never met her. I've never met her.

I've heard bad things. I've heard good things. I always took up for her because I thought that people gave her too much shit. But I'd like to meet her and see how she is. So here's the thing about this, you know, Russia or escalation. One lesbian that I'd like to meet and he changes the subject quick as a fucking whipy does. Here we go. Carry on.

Is obviously we are on the eve of destruction. Everyone in the world, everywhere. This is the thing. No, no, this is what I'm talking about. When I, okay, when I was living in England and George Bush was there, we were on the the eve of destruction. The whole world was going to blow up. It was all going to end.

And I kept on thinking, oh, I shouldn't be in London. It's so dangerous here. But in the grand scale of time, we are. You text me the other day saying the FBI is visiting the CIA. The CIA is visiting the Kremlin. And the PM of England is now living in Manchester. And we reckon the royal family's getting out.

Some shit's about to go down. And then you sent me a picture of a small fire on the outskirts of England, just like, see? And it was a fucking. The dust storm at best. The Kremlin, did you see the video they posted their threat to the UK? Because the UK are supplying these missiles that are, the Ukraine is now able to hit inside Moscow, and they've had enough. And Vladimir Putin, if anyone watches any Russian television or reads any Russian things, he has people on the right of him that are like, that's enough now.

Russia's getting humiliated. It's time to basically dust off the real weapons and let them know that they can't do this to us. So European capitals are supposedly on the target list. And that's why supposedly the CIA and the Vatican went there to say, we can't be doing nuclear weapons. If they bomb London and everyone in London dies, you will get an apology from me and I will have egg on my face. I just don't see it. I just don't see it, bro. I might be.

Well, the weapon that they posted a video of was, it was pretty scary. It was this nuclear weapon that goes underwater and it detonates and creates a tsunami that supposedly floods the entire. Have you ever swam up the coast? of England. Nor have I met Ellen. Try to get that fucking weapon up the Thames. It'll be hit by so many shopping carts. You wouldn't fucking believe it.

It could have night vision. It's never making its way through the fucking Thames, mate. There's the Secretary of Defense of Australia, ladies and james. We'll protect our city with lime bikes discarded into the river. But here's the deal. Obviously, there's a lot of horror going on. And we're all, this is the point, it's been 20 years of this, and we've all desensitized to the chaos. My biggest thing that I noticed now.

Wait a minute, 20 years of what? Well, I mean, look, let's be honest. Since September 11th. You're talking about Russian now. I'm talking, I'm talking about the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and all that type of stuff. And now we run, we've got Russia. Like, more than ever, we've got such a powder kit going on. But we had shit going on before that.

Let's go back to the 70s and just do Vietnam and just go, we've had four. 49 years of this now. Well, there was a period of Pax Americana and the unipolar moment where America was... I'm going to give us 53 years of this rubbish. Oh, the, you know, the Boer War. Well, because nothing happened. Yeah, it's fucking boring.

Just South Africans. Was it South Africans the Boer War? No grenades, bloody it's what a bore. Yeah, what it's gone. Oh, this is say boring. Don't know what to do. But my point was going to be. In Edinburgh, I found a playlist

for my house music. And the playlist I called, that I put on was called protest music of the 1970s and 60s. And it was all the pop hits that we know and love about I saw a red door and I want to paint it black.

Yep. And when you look at that, you go, there was a time where the popular musicians of the era sung songs all about the war and protest and peace. Name me a hit in the last 20 years.

years in the popular consciousness that was about conflict or about war, about dearmament. Eastern Rosellas is a metaphor for the Reds attacking us. Oh, is it? Yeah. They're flying over my head now. Do you know what this species is? It's Eastern Rossellers, Russian Rezellas. They come in beautiful.

Nothing, Jim. Nothing, because there has been a massive. big shift in music where we don't really get these artists anymore. We get lab-created, fucking studio-made pop stars with no conscience to them whatsoever. This has only come out today. Only come out today. Did you see the girl on America's Got Talent? No.

All right. Let's go out. Nini. Her name's Nini. The guitar player? Yeah. Yeah. She was on our episode.

I want to see your reaction to Nini Royal. Let's just play the footage of Nini Roy. I just want to see your reaction. Can we do that? Well, yeah, why that happens. Seriously, name some songs. The last one I can remember is Black Hard Pays. Black Opeas, what was their political song?

People killing, people dying, children hurt and you hear them crying. If you practice what you preach. Oh, please. Please. You might as well go, vaguing Michael Jackson's man in the middle. mirror. But I sort of name another. Ed Sheeran doesn't really have one. Beyonce. You know, he wrote the best songs about... Maybe Kendrick does some stuff. Bert Baccarat. He wrote simple songs about love, didn't he? What the world needs now. We need

too many mountains. We've got too many mountains. I mean, maybe Drake could release a song about, you know, how we need to free the women of Iran so we can fund them. I don't know. Oh, you're going to put it into the feed. Is that what's going to happen? Show it to me. Okay. Now, we'll have a little break here. We'll have a little break here. But this girl I've got I used it

Well before all you're loading that Here's my reason why Because I thought Is it because people were more conscious then And we're selfish and not interested No I've realized 100% what it is They had a draft And so when there's a draft

I know no no People are way more opposed to war Because it could be them or people they know When you have a standing army We go oh that's what they signed up for You don't get Bob Dylan without a whole group of people doing something against their will, right? You know, like singing songs and stuff.

Of course not, no. Yeah, that's why you have a constituency for that kind of music. Yeah, a draft is like when you, it's terrible soldiers dying and stuff of that. But at the end of the day, you have to go, okay, well, they did sign up for this. It is a, you know, it's a terrible risk, et cetera, et cetera. You've got to find some type of solace in that. But when someone's just conscripted, oh, fuck me. If they, look, you're going to, I'll say it right now.

If they bring conscription back, you won't see me. me, you know, I've got two sons. You won't see me living here anymore. I'll be gone. 100%. And that's why I think the art was so powerful at the time. What? Because they wanted to be gone. Because they wanted conscription gone and it activated

everything and now they've done a really effective job of neutering the arts and only getting corporate shills in there to be pop stars so that they'll never, ever be a message they can't control ever again. Also, one of the big problems with conscription is it's our youngest go off to

die. The youngest people, the brightest, the people have the most future ahead of them. I think, and look, this would be bad for me, but I think if you do bring back conscription, I'm sure for the physical jobs, bring in the young people, but for the clerical stuff, bringing blokes like me or the cooks or, you know what I mean? I think, well, I'd like to sign a treaty where all the people under 40 in the world could get together of all the nations and go, it's time for the baby. If the baby boomers want to take us to the end, let them go. go out. Let them fight the wars. Let's get some geriatrics on the battlefield and they can

settle it. No one would shoot them. Plus, they could walk up and just go, you're all acting like bloody fools. You're all acting like fools. You're fucking you and your peanut friends. Oh, a bit of oil. Bit of oil. If they want it, let them do it. As I keep saying on repeat, the baby boomers, so selfish are they and not wanting to give us anything to inherit. I mean, the richest generation that's ever lived, and then the next generation, generations way poorer than our parents. They are at the point where they're like, let's just blow up the whole world because we wouldn't want to give our kids a head start.

We don't want to spoil you. Yeah. So you can rule over ash and start again from scratch because I had to walk to school, you see. If I had to walk to school, you can crawl through skulls. I don't, I don't, yeah, if I have to see one more, I saw another celebrity the other day going, I'm not giving my kids any money. I've said Gordon Ramsey in the past.

There was another one the other day. They're like, they'll have to figure it out. I did. They don't get any money. and I think it was Will Farrell was there going I'm not giving my kids anything

because they've got to figure it out I did it's like yeah but you're still you don't have to give them stuff why you're alive but when you're dead you still give it all to them

stop me I had an argument with a couples the other day an older couple who are like you know what we're just going to live on we're going to cruise four times a year

we're on all these vacations and spending all the money Michelin restaurants we've earned it we want to spend it we don't want to give our kids anything and it's like

there is a no other generation of parents that would ever feel that way. Well, we don't know what it is. Maybe back in the days when there's fucking Korag, right? He was there. But the ABC. Yeah. And he was like this going, I got these rocks.

I got this cave. Why the fuck should they get it? Yeah, yeah. They don't get my pel. This saber tooth didn't fucking just fall in my lap. Did it? I had to use this. I had to go to school just as the Ice Age was on.

Oh. And it all thawed out in your years. Fuck off. Yeah, yeah. My brother died of a broken ankle. These kids don't know how good they have it. Do you know what it was like? With their stick splints.

When the tribal chief came along and stole my wife and fucked her and had kids with her. And I was, I was happy to have him. Happy to have him. Because he was a good leader. Oh, yeah, yeah. We don't have leaders like that anymore. Fucking people from other caves coming over. Join our go, they're letting them in by the,

fucking footload. Worst thing ever did was build that bridge. They said that bridge would be good for trade. Well, now we've got fucking other cave groups coming through here. Some bloody nightmare. What's his name? This is a new advanced version of Mel Brooks and Ryder. Look at those cunts over there.

Once, I'll say it's wise. Neanderthals, they're bloody different to us. You shouldn't breed with them. And you have the fucking Big skulls, I call them. The old big skulls here. My fucking daughter's been dating the missing link. I don't know what my grandkids are going to look like.

Coming over here with his pronounced forehead. Thinking he's all that. All the brow in the world, no brains. And the cunt comes over the house and wants to introduce tools. Mr. fucking fancy with his chisel. Yeah, yeah. What's wrong with slurping?

out at the bottom of the bloody, the floor when you see a puddle. This guy with a bowl and he's pouring it up to his head looks like a bloody ears. How's me son-in-law? He fishes for a living. We, cunt. I said, go, you go kill a bear. Yeah, yeah. Fish.

And he only has kids with my daughter. Back when I was a young man, men were men, we had kids all over the caves. Well, I heard the other day, you're not allowed to bong bitches over the head anymore before you fuck them. Oh, they're banned clubbing. We used to go out clubbing in my day. no that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the clubbing joke that was uh damo clark used to have that joke is it he used to go he used to go we go out clubbing and you

bang people in their heads so let's credit demo um anyway so where's this where's this clip where's this clip now you know it's going to be good and she doesn't have that you know like susan boyle right we'll start here when you watch susan boyle it was surprising that she was good at it because she was unattractive you go oh and ugly because as a species we go way an ugly person can do thing? Yeah, yeah. People could have believed that this troll from Scotland could sing, right? Now, this girl's from, I believe, Thailand.

She's Thai American, I believe. Don't recall. But anyway, let's have a watch. I just want to see your reaction. Very good. Smashed it. Smash it. It.

Smashed it. And there's no Simon there for some reason. And although Neney Royal is already a good name. And they've been. Tired her up a bit with a little skirt around her. Earlier tonight, I met a bunch of the contestants. You are just like the most quietest, humblest, this stage. And it's a different, it's a different vibe.

You're in the spice girls love. I'm into pop music. That's enough of that. Anyway, how good is she? Just to let you know, this is, you've ticked over to a different age group now, Jim. What are you talking about? I'm just letting you know. I'm not being pervy to the young lady.

I'm just saying she's very good. There's nothing about purviness at all. You've finally reached the age, and it happens to everyone. What? Where you've decided to tell everyone you know about a golden buzzer that you saw on America's Got Talent. I know a lot of golden buzzers. I've met comedians who have had golden buzzers themselves. You have finally that point.

It happens to everyone. You think that's my first golden buzzer? I've been watching golden buzzer since before you were born. You wouldn't even remember to. You wouldn't even remember it. You would have heard about it years later. Jack, this is honestly one of the first signs of dementia as that this has happened. You want to talk about nuclear bombs that aren't even going to fucking drop.

I'm talking about something that's happened. This is where we're at. We have got to the point. NeNeary royal, everyone. NeNeer Royal. You remember that name. Remember that name. The world is too grim.

But I tell you what? This young Thai girl, what was her name? No, no. I tell you what? He's very good at singing. Those Thai girls, they'll do a lot of things, and singing turns out to be one of them now. Wonderful.

Oh, my God. This is, you are a week away from sending me obvious AI videos as well. I can tell the difference, sweetie. Oh, I'll tell you another fun one. I got this, someone put up an AI, the Hawaiian shirt company that I buy my Hawaiian shirts from. They posted an AI picture of me and my wife on a red carpet. and they've obviously gotten the photo from when we visited the store because the red carpet picture, right, is,

it's of me and my wife, there we are. I, for some reason, look like I've fallen in a vat of acid. She looks hotter than ever, right? And I'm wearing one of their Hawaiian shirts, and my wife on the red carpet is also wearing a fanny pack. Well, that's actually the look of people that watch AGT. And this is what, when I got the fanny pack picture, I went like this.

I can't remember as good. Because that is exactly how I dress. I don't own this shirt, right? This is exactly how I dress. When I saw that photo, I was like, that's a real photo of us. For a while, I thought that was a real photo of me and the wife. And I went, what movie were we at where we showed up like that? Why was she wearing a fucking bum bag?

I've told her about this bum bag. A bum bag is a funny pack of two Americans. I just love this so much that you have been. been that moved. I'm not moved. I'm not moved. All I'm saying is rock and roll's not dead. It's not dead because somewhere in Pasadena, California,

they've found some Thai chick who can play the guitar and they've hit a golden buzzer. And that's the spirit of rock and roll for you. Dude, I was going to see guns and roses. They're playing the Rose Bowl with Ice Cube. And I was thinking about going. And then I watched a bit of the concert online. And I saw them back in 1992. And I've seen them since.

And I thought, the concert looks a bit shit. And me and Jack have talked about this. The only thing that exists now in live music is legacy acts. Your ACDCs, your Paul McCartney's, your guns and roses, and these are the acts that get them going out. Luckily, we had Oasis, where Oasis can still perform really well. God help that young lady. If she stays in America for too long, she must run away from all of these people because she's three years away from losing her instruments and having to do some fucking sex appeal campaign.

I'll buy her CDs. I'll buy her CD. What do you mean sex appeal campaign? You're saying that they're going to tart her up like Christina Aguilera or what they do with Sabrina Carpenter. Oh, by the way, Sabrina Carpenter, she's winning me over. She will end up being forced by a creepy record executive. She did a judeed a duet with Dolly Parton. It was very good.

When she turns 18, they'll make her do a song called Ping Pong Pop. Why do you have to make it? She's 16, man. What are you doing? I'm saying that she's entering into an evil industry. Get out of their love. You think the music industry in Thailand is easier than the music industry here in America. I'll tell you what, our young friend here, Mr Jack Hackett, is in a band, and they were on AGT the same time as this girl.

And Jack, have you been over-sexualized in this business? No. Would you like to be? If it works. If it works, you see? Poor Jack's waiting for the devil to appear for a deal. So Jack's band's called the Do-Hickey. Right?

This is my impression of Jack, ready? Are you going to bring out an album called Show Us You Do, Hickey? This is Jack in Hollywood. Hello? Is that Satan's office? Yeah, I'm just wondering when he's going to get that contractor. I've got my soul here. I'm just waiting.

Is he interested? Yeah. Yeah, so they're going to bring out... Satan's busy, is he? They're going to bring out an album called Gloryhole, and it's just going to be him, right? Standing with his back to the beginning of the album. And then they'll be the same fence on the...

back of the arm, but a dog will be walking past. I'm telling you, I don't move. People, people will like it. You've got to get Ali on board. You got to get the girl. There's a girl in the two hickies. She really brings the band together. I don't know what she does, but she looks good.

Jack, he sings, he harmonizes. What, Trump watches it? Trump watches agent. There's every chance she gets invited to the office for sure. Do you reckon in the finale she'll go out and play a song and be tackled by an ice agent? She will, she will be invited to the White House and you'll go, this is the kind of immigration we love. Great.

She's a great immigrant. What a song, what a voice she plays. Because the boomers love that more than anything. She's Asian looking, but speaks perfect English. She can play a musical instrument. The boomers like, what a boomer's like? Who do you think is watching that TV show? They like

people who can play. Kids are watching it. They love the fact. I watch the clips. I watch the clips. I don't watch the actual show. People outside of LA were watching in every city you want. Yeah, people watch it. People watch it. People of all ages.

It's a very popular show. I wanted to be a judge on the Australian one. I would love to be a judge. That's like my dream job is to be a judge on Australia's got talent. I'd love it. I'd love it. You want to be the mean judge? Because you're not going to be the nice one.

I'll be the honest judge. I'm not mean, you dumb wog, cunt. You don't have it in you. I do. What to be the mean judge? Yeah, you know, you couldn't be the mean judge. You're actually too soft. I could be the mean judge.

Do you want me to critique your comedy? Put up a bit on. Yeah, put up a two minute clip. Oh, I'll finish. No, I'll finish a joke. I'll do one of the jokes I did the other night. You ready? I'll do a joke.

Actually, I'll do one of my jokes I did that bombed. Okay? I'm already ready to go. Look, this might be a hobby for you. Does it have to be a career for you? And look, you can have fun with it. And you're not untalented, but we've just seen better people. Oh, okay.

I didn't even get to start. It was just the way you're standing. Yeah, yeah. The way you walked out was so meek, you know. Yeah. Okay, Gary. Sorry, what's your name? That's Amos.

Amos, Amos. Welcome, welcome to Australia's Got Talent. Where are you from, Amos? I'm from the place called Adelaide. And what are you going to do for us this evening? A bit of stand-up comedy. Ooh, stand-up comedy. It's a hard thing to do.

A hard thing to do, believe me. So if you were likened yourself to another comedian, what should we expect tonight? Bill Hicks and George Carlin. Billings, they're big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill. Yeah, I'm one of those comedians. I like to talk about the world.

You know, I think I've got to speak truth to power through comedy. All right. Well, tell us how it is. Amos Gill, ladies and gentlemen. The floor's yours. Yeah, I'm actually a pretty good lover. I make women squirt. Maynays on my sandwiches.

Windex on the windows. Detergent on the dishes. Thanks very much. Sevilla, but I don't understand what this was. I don't understand what I was watching. There were some people laughing, but not to me. I don't understand. Scary Spice comes in.

I don't know what you were trying to do. It was a joke about, it was like a play on words about squirting. Because I set it up that it was like, I'm going to make a woman gush from the vagina. So you make women make, do you make sandwiches? Yeah, I'm a traditional sort of bloke. All right, well, we're going to put it to the vote. And then Jim. What about Jim?

Jim, you go first. I'm your biggest fan, actually. So I'd love a golden buzzer. You're my biggest fan? Golden buzzer! Boom! He's true. Confetti everywhere.

And then the tie girl comes out and I go, I wish I could take the buzzer back. That's the thing about the golden buzzer. You don't want to blow your load too early on episode one. You go, maybe I'll see something better. But if you keep your golden buzzer too long, and then you're down to the last five person, there's someone doing balloon animals,

and you're like, got to use it. Can't not use it. I don't use it. I don't use their golden buzz are the first two days you were there. So I wonder if they're just...

I think they top heavy the good axe. I think they know. Because there's also something changed. Like, they used to have a lot more shit axe. You know what I would be ruthless with if I was a judge?

Magic. No, I love magic. I love magic. I can't figure it out. How do they do it? What would you be ruthless with? That mentalist guy

who can fucking, who's been on Stern and all that. I've forgotten his name. I've spoken to him online, but he's, uh, he's fucking amazing. That guy that can pick your pin number and shit like that.

Whatever that cun's doing. I'm in. Oh, Oz. Oz? Oz, can I be honest? Oz slid into my DMs and said he enjoyed my stand-up comedy the other day.

Oh, he did the same to me. Fuck Oz. He seems to be sucking up to everyone in the industry. No, are you kidding me? Yeah. Oh, 100%.

He's giving me alive. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm going to, Oz is doing this to everyone. No. Yeah? Look, I'm not going to show you because they're private messages. What?

Are you being serious? Yeah. No, Oz, the mentalist. Oz Perlman. Yeah, Oz Perlman. No. Yeah? He doesn't follow me anymore.

Oh, no. Here we go. Watching your videos and absolutely brilliant. I hope to see you at the seller soon. Next level, your new special is incredible. you know, look, look, Jack, you can prove. It's real. It's real.

But we've had conversations. Yeah. He reaches that. Every time I release a clip, he says nice things. Ah, it was keeping me going as well. This is definitely fake. These con men, mentalists. Maybe he's getting information on us for an event he's got coming up or something.

Oz Perlman, we don't take guests on this podcast, but can we have you as a guest? We'll have you as a guest all day. Wouldn't you love to have Oz Perlman on? He's a fan of both of us. He should jump at the fucking chance. What were we just talking about? You were talking about how you think that I, we were doing an episode of AGT.

I was essentially going to kill Tony, basically. No, but AGT. Now, now what happened is, what happens with my, I would, I wouldn't, I'd be nice to do magicians, I like magicians, I wouldn't be nice to dance troops.

Yeah, I hate dance troops. Oh, if there's one of you that sort of, even acrobats, even acrobats, I always find like the hardest thing to do in the world. If I see one can't stand, sitting, you know, on the head of another person, like head to head, so the other person's standing, you know, on their head, on the other person's head, it's really impressive, but I can see that in fucking Cirque de Saleh. You know what I mean? Yeah, synchronized dance move.

It's like, that's something that happens. if you're watching an event, that happens while everyone's finding their seats. That's not an act. And you get to, like, the Jabberwalkies were good because they all wore masks so they could change people in and out because they'd all be dead. Even then, I wouldn't even put them on the main stage. That's sort of, you get that in the lobby when you're walking in and they're offering champagne before you take your seats at the event.

Is your might gone shit again? We had, we almost had a good. It fixed on his end. Oh. I'm actually running out of battery because I don't have a proper charger. No problem. But, you're dance troops. I would just, because one time I was at Edinburgh, and the people who won Britain's got talent, right?

So this is 20 years ago. The people who won Britain got talents like season two or season three were in the same room as me, like straight after me. And they're all dancing. And they were really good. But it's like, at the end, you should be able to sell more tickets than me. If there's buck and 30 of you. What about this for an act? What?

Right. A woman comes out onto the stage, and in the three minutes allotted, she makes a bed and whips up a quick meal. That's it. She's called the traditional woman. Yeah, you think that's wrong with you. It's a comedic bit. You saw one tie girl expressing herself and going ahead in life and you thought,

I'll have to bring down the rest of them. How am I the voice of reason? That would actually be a funny act if she called herself like the trad woman. My wife does sketches the trad woman. Have you seen my wife's trad sketches? Jack films him. I like him. that's my, that's actually my only fan's content.

I just watch a woman make food. Yeah, we got, we got to wrap up because you, because your microphone's losing energy and you're fucking, you're killing me. You're killing me. You're just like this. I've run out of ideas. How about a woman walks out there and makes a bed? I'm sick and tired of seeing these Thai girls bloody performing.

Next time we'll be called ping pong, whatever. Like, fuck me. That would get the boomer men really going, just watching a woman do chores. What do you mean? Your dad would call you and go, the old men that watch these shows. This is the constituency. Look, mate, my dad is so far gone that I can't even send her a link of the Thai girl playing the guitar. Well, I'm really upset because now you've made it weird, but I wanted to finish about how the USS Abraham Lincoln that was stuck at sea for 285 days has just docked into Thailand.

And fuck me, if I was a Thai sex worker, I'd be taking my phone. vacation. That's where I was going to end the podcast. Why would you take your vacation? You're about to earn a lot of money. It's sometimes, you know what? Americans are big tippers. I would sit this.

Maybe I'd sit out the first round, the first night. That's going to be brutal. Could you imagine the brothels of Bangkok? I could imagine them. Never seen them firsthand. Tell you what, there's going to be some American soldiers in lines willing to try their first lady boy, that's for sure. I like that better when you want to talk about nuclear warfare than give you opinions.

Your head's not a good space, is it? How is it living with you every day? That's all I thought about yesterday was imagine the pulling off that boat. Well, that used to be the thing is when the American sailors came into Sydney and they'd stop off, they'd get a pie at Harry's Cafe to Wheels, and then, like, this is back before dating apps and stuff, that, there would be women in Sydney that would just be like, the sailors are in town, and they'd be propping up the bars waiting for them to come in, you know, they'd be like, oh, this is going to be a good lot of men who, you know,

just going to shag and leave right away. Perfect. Oh, we had, like, seriously, most of our basketball players came from that. That's why the world got better at, that's why the world has gotten better at basketball is all the U.S. Imperial Navy postings over time. Seriously. That's a fact. I'm going to get cancelled.

It's not even going to be me who did it. I didn't even do it. I didn't even do it. All I tried to do was say, We don't want American bases. A young lady is doing a good job. I wanted to do a podcast where I said, Dolly Parton was a legend,

and this young lady is coming and bringing the music world. You know, I want to just rejoice in people's success. Right, Jack, let's end on this. I want to do more Lindsay Clancy stuff to take us out in a podcast. Funny note. All right. Okay, okay, okay. You've got to watch this news report and tell me that women haven't completely lost their fucking mind.

Okay. Watch this. Okay. To the woman from... Imagine if that woman who couldn't drive was going through here. Hundreds of women, all dressed in pink, cheered the accused mom as she arrives in a police caravan for her murder trial. Supporters ran across the field to greet Lindsay. Some came with their babies.

Stop. Stop. Like, fuck me. They brought their babies to cheer on a woman who killed three of her own. You've got me back now. Imagine if your mum said to you, what are we doing today? There was a woman who, these are women who, like, there must, all of these women must have had postnatal depression, right? They all must hate their kids to all balls to be out there chewing.

There's no one who enjoys being a mum who's just like this. Mom, can you drop me off today? I got a birthday party. No, we're going to cheer on Lindsay Clancy, the woman who killed her kids. I'm supporting her. You'll come with me. It's good. You want to be on the right side of history, kids.

You want to stand there? You got to march. You want to know, I'll tell you what, you'd make your bed when you come home from the Lindsay Clancy support rally as a kid when your mom brought you there. I just, I've said this before, but, okay, so we have a show on TV about women murdering their husbands. And what's that show called? They had to do it. What is it? Snap.

Snap. Snap. Snap. Right? It was a show about men murdering their wives. It would be called murderers, killers. Evil. Yeah.

Plots. Right. Evil lives here. You know, one of those type of thing, right? And then like... With women, yeah. Welcome back. Regardless of...

Her tether. Regardless of... End of her tether. What did he do was another name for the show? What's he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why did he change the pass code on his phone? That could be the name of the show.

Snap! It's like you kill him. Oh, well, she snapped. I can't imagine what it would be like. If you are a mother and you are trying to get disciplined out of your kids, you should take them to, and be vocal in your support of Lindsay Clancy, because I think you will get your kids to behave.

They're wise up fast. I would buy some exercise bands in the house, just from Amazon, have them sitting. on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the on the just as a little warning this is a little warning my mother for a while there told me I was going to be sent to a boarding school because I was being unruly and she goes to call the older kids there that used to discipline you the brothers right and she goes the brothers will sort you out my mother was basically saying that that I was going to get raped in a boarding school if if if I didn't behave right and then my mother would leave pamphlets for the boarding school just around like there was a little tiny bench in our bathroom where you shit where there was magazines and stuff she'd leave the pamphlet in there so that you could get the pamphlet and go oh that's mum's going to mom's going to say i'll tell you another bit of parenting about my father that i don't

think any other parent because i was chatting to another parent about this my dad used to wear a dressing gown right with a leather like a belt that you'd wear with jeans with a leather belt to tie it up not the string not the string so my dad Put the dressing cat on. That's Eastern European. Yeah, he'd put the leather belt on over the other side. And then if you were playing up, he just got that bit, and he went like this, you're bloody fucking kids.

And if you saw this, you're fucking dumb kids like that, you just ran to your room. And then he just settled down and watched the rest of his TV show. How about my mother as we finish up here? Picks me up from the airport yesterday when I got to Perth. Yeah. And first thing she did, she said, I, I'm, um, I'm going to start injecting you with peptides on this trip because it seems you've lost the battle of the bulge and you're not getting back. I gave you time to lose the weight, but you're starting to look really, really puffy.

So I need to put you on some redder. She wants me to take redder. Why does she just give you GLPs like everyone else? No, that's what redder is the new one that does all three receptors. Haven't you heard of redder? No, I've heard of redder. Look up redder. Everyone in Australia is on the peptides.

I might want to get on the redder. I can't. I can't do it yet because it's just, you know. You know what, though? I'm just looking for, like, when am I allowed just to be an old cunt? That's what I'm saying. Why don't have to push back? They go, your testosterone's really low.

Good. Good. I don't need to be horny or fucking constructing things all the time. People, I want a face where people look at it and go, leave him alone. What is more? or baller than being fat and bold, but still with a good-looking wife. That's confidence.

She's not going anywhere. Too lazy. You ain't go anywhere. She'll stay with me. That's why I think you should be proud of that photo she posted is because the ugly you get, the more of it's actually an alpha move. Yeah, but also, I would never post a picture of my wife looking ugly

because it reflects badly on me. Well, I just don't think there are any ugly photos of Tazey. Oh, my God. She doesn't listen to the podcast. Shut up. She doesn't listen. Her mum listens. Hey, Becker.

And she's got a bloody beautiful mother as well. I see that. She does, though. I'd give her mum one, yeah. Right, we're going to finish this fucking episode. Jack, there's some things for you to cut. Always. As always.

Start with your wrists. Particularly if you couldn't get through Australia. But the America's got talent. If you can't do better than a 15-year-old tire girl. I don't think you have any place in the entertainment business. Jack grew up in the American South and got out of guitar. If you grew up with my mother, my mother would have come home, you go, how did you do in your audition? Oh, I didn't get through.

Who did get through? Oh, there was a tire girl that was playing. Well, you can't do better than a tire girl. She's not even American. It's America's got talent. It's not people who visit America are having talent. If they've scraped the bottom of the bow That matching, you're not on it

You're still in that You're still in the band with that girl, are you? All right, well, there you go And in some lighter news to finish NAPOL got flooded. You've got more news. It's enough. It's over.

Your mum thinks you're fat. You think I'm old. The end. This might be our last podcast. Pie lovers. I'm feeling very disillusioned by the whole industry. If I get on redder, I won't even be able to love pies anymore, so it could be the end, actually. Your mum gives you a vial and actual needles?

Yeah, I can't do that. I can't inject myself. It's the only reason I haven't done heroin. Yeah, if they had, like, pens that came like the Ozempic one where you just shove it in and press it, that's okay. I can't be shooting vials into my fucking fat. I tell you what, though, because my mother went on about diabetes and I have to inject myself every day. It doesn't seem like this as bad as they reckon. Well, your mum's already done it.

You can do it in your thigh and you can do it in your big fat ass and all that type of stuff. I have, man, I've never seen your ass bear. Is it the hairiest thing on earth? No, not that hairy. I reckon, is it like a fumble web spider? Give me a look at it. Oh, no, the cheek's all right, but I reckon the hole would be a cess bit. Jesus Christ.

I just, when I think about it, that's what I think. Well, the funny thing is at the end of the run sheet I've got for today's show, says Amos shows asshole. So, thanks for sticking to the plan. Another good episode. I think it was a good episode. I think we riffed well. Someone should pay for this to go on regular radio.

I don't know whether you saw it. Did you see the Nepal flood? No, I haven't seen the Nepal flood. I've been looking at real news. Thai girls getting through on Australia got talent. America. America. Yeah.

I've also mentioned drunk driving woman in Sydney Real news What have you got Poseidon gave it the golden buzzer It was bad man It was bad A glacier fell off

And basically all these cities Have been wiped out With the landslide It's kind of difficult to talk about If you haven't seen it So probably I don't My problem is

I don't see where the comedy might be That's my point is we try to keep the show light. And it's one thing to do, a Donald Trump impersonation about Dolly Parton's tits. That's as edgy as I like to go. And you want to go,

there's some Sherpers that are drowned. That's the only saving graces I have is that the word Sherper is inherently funny. If you have a joke and someone went, it involves Sherpers, you go, I'm listening. Yeah, all right. Well, I was really going to talk about the fact that,

we can cut this out, Jack. It's really just, I was going to talk about the fact that, funny. You know, that Plato described the missing city of Atlantis and the Bronze Age collapse, all these wonderful civilizations that we lost, and people say that they're myths. But now when you see how quickly a landmass can be covered and buried under mud and sludge and rock, you realize that there's probably big cities all around us that we don't know about, you know, that somewhere out there. Well, obviously, anyone that built in a valley or something like that, we've learned over time

to, you know, that's live in the hills, in it, you know, that's mostly, you know, they're not finding any civilizations under the Hollywood Hills. That's all it is. It's just the bits there. So that's my tip for everyone. Live on hills. Other than that, not much else to read.

How many people died? Let's get that out. I'll be getting this car. Give me that stat right at the end. How many people died? So now that we've had a good laugh, let's get to the death toll. Make sure you involve them. And Sherper.

Nepal, death toll. Here we go. Ooh. 797% 797 dead with 3,000 people missing So not Not good Yeah yeah

Not worth mentioning on a comedy podcast, I reckon Your idea is Nepaling Okay So Jack, let's pretend that the Nepal thing never existed Because there's no reason to add there in here Yeah, I'm keeping it in You got to stay with that button. That's the guy on there.

I always like ending the podcast with us saying things to cut that aren't in. Then people could go, what was that all about? I think that's a funny ending. So, Jack, for me, I'd like you to cut the bit about. I just don't understand. When you go to me, what I've got on today's episode is, and we've cut out some of these stories already. You've gone like this. There's, I mean, some Sydney Swan players that may have raped the woman.

We've got Nepal. A lot of people drown. and died there, and the nuclear bomb may be getting dropped on the UK. Comedy, go. Keep it light, like your mother's told you. I know, I know. Get on the peptides. Just to remind you, Jack, please cut out anything about Nepal.

I'd also like you to cut out the America's Got Talent Riff about women making the bed in front of an audience. Leave that in. Leave in him saying this. This is good. If you could remove the riff I had about how all men want to see on AGT is a woman that's domestically strong. I'd also like you to cut out any of the stuff where I went through the AFL guide to how to not commit sexual assault that I went through. Yeah, get rid of that, get rid of that, get that out. Actually, get rid of these things, but leave this in.

This is funny. Get rid of these things. But leave the Nepal thing in. He has to learn. Obviously, get rid of all the slurs. Oh, not the one where I... How many did you do? Yeah, not the one where I told him off.

Leave that one in. He told me off of, like, he goes, you've gotten to the age where you enjoy wholesome things. Like, fuck me. Also, probably could lose Clancy, Clancy, Lindsay, Clancy. That was irrelevant. It didn't get to laugh, but it didn't hurt anything. No, get rid of that.

The Lindsay Clancy thing. The Lindsay Clancy thing The Lindsay Clancy thing with them all standing on the side of the road And we asked talking about that, that was fun. You've got to leave that in. That was fun. Leave that in. But I think my non-sequitant in the Dolly Parton thing, that wasn't offensive.

The way that you, Dolly Parton died and you thought it would be funny to say to the song of Jolene, you changed it to Lindsay Clancy. Yeah, he just did it again. But, yeah, no, but we've lightened on him now. We were mean to him the first talk. Okay. You're playing to an audience of one and a half, right? Because you can only hear Jack laugh through my microphone and hear. And so it has to be a good joke.

You can't just slip on through with a Jolene fucking parody. And then go, and she killed her daughter's nine to five. That was the age of her children. No one grew up. Didn't get past nine. She killed the children. They were five to nine. They're enough to drive you crazy if you let them

Ticot ticka Tika Tika Tika Tick Tick Tink ding ding ding ding ding ding Tink Tund Tick what other Jolene songs are that we could do for a What other Jolene? The name was Dolly Parton. Dolly, what give you some other Dolly Parton songs. Yeah, give us, uh, give it, give us two doors down. Here we go again. I will always love you, of course, is a classic.

Whitney Coat of Money Through young Joseph Jacob Oh it's a different song About Colours But yes You had a whole

miniseries about that one Anyway Look we're rambling If you still listen The podcast We're sorry Good night everyone Good night Australia

Good night pie lovers Good night Amos Thank you.