I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 75 - Planes, Trains, and Awful Hotels

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

At this moment, Jim and Amos are in Germany and just ate at Hitler's favorite restaurant. They do a test and figure out if taking a train or plane is faster. They also discuss the new plague, Trump's new threats, and failed AirBnB attempts.ADS:QUINCE: Find your next fall favorites at Quince.Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to http://www.quince.com. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was AT THIS MOMENT.PRIZEPICKS: Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/ATM and use code ATM and get $150 if you win your first $5 lineup! SOCIALS:Jim JefferiesWebsite: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠Amos GillIG: @abitofamosgillFB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the DoohickeysSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

And he was like, really? I go, yeah, you have it for free. He's like, the best day ever. This fucking, this middle-aged English guy just stayed in this filthy bed. And I gave him two hand towels to wash himself. Today's episode is proudly brought to you by Quince. Find your next full favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers.

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You say at this moment. ATM. ATM, you tell them. Gide, pie lovers. Welcome back to at this moment. Sorry, we missed last week. We were in transit. Traveling around the world.

Traveling around Europe. You can still see us in Europe in Stavanga, Norway, Bergen, Norway and Hamburg for Germany, plus more shows for Jim coming up in America and Canada, all at Jimmy Jeffries.com. That has all the details. Today's episode, we cover some of our travel journeys and also talk about Black Death, the Plague,

and how it's coming back, and we could all be killed and have our lungs melted into a pool of blood. And that's why Jim and I would like to get ahead of it for this week's new podcast sponsor, Skype. Skype. You missed out on the last pandemic. Zoom, cut your lunch. But with the bubonic plague turning pneumonic.

We think it's time for Skype. Download Skype today and put in promo code ATM because you'll need connection through the next three to four years where we live in our houses. The original and the best, Skype. Good and talk, everybody. Welcome to the show. Fraul lines and hairs and hairy frow lines.

We've just come from a delicious meal. We went for a meal. We're in Munich right now. That's why we said good and tart. We're in Munich right now, where we've already done a show. We've got a few days off. In two days' time, we're going to visit the Eagles Nest. But tonight, because young Amos here, you wouldn't know this to look at him.

He is obsessed with Hitler and not in a healthy way. Loves Hitler. When he's on stage, he opens up for me in Germany. He's got to do 20 fucking minutes. All he has to do is 20 fucking minutes. He mentioned Hitler no less than 14 times. If you're saying things mind people's back, you've got to do it to their face. The Germans don't want to know about it anymore.

So he takes me out to dinner tonight and he's like, oh, I know a perfect place. I know a good restaurant we can all go to. Okay, what's the restaurant? It's an Italian restaurant. Love Italian food. Let's go get some Italian food. Brilliant. He takes us to Hitler's favorite restaurant where the furor would sit in the corner all the time.

Not only that, but he got us the same table, basically. We were one table. off. It's usually table number eight at what was the Austeria Bavaria. Now, renamed the Austeria Italiana. They decided to do a fresh liquor paint and a bit of a change up. Yes. It's still, there's not much fresh paint there. This hasn't changed since the 1930s. The new sign's doing a lot of the anti-Nazi, what is it called? I can't hear him anymore through the microphone. Can you still hear him, Jack? So we went to Amos's favorite Italian restaurant in Munich, which was Hitler's favorite restaurant.

There was table eight. He'd already known about it. I knew about it because all the cumstains from when, when Amos had arrived at Hitler's table. And I walked in, you know, with my hair looking its best, like, with my hair at the moment, the length that's at, I have no right going to any of Hitler's restaurants. Well, I knew about this, but I went here with the misses once. And I said, we have to go to the Asteria Bavaria.

it was Hitler's favorite restaurant. And it's famous because Unity Mitford, who was a British socialite, went there for one month because she was so besotted with Hitler. This is that she went, I'm going to date that man, and I'll go to his favorite restaurant, and he'll see me at the table. I'm no fan of Hitler, but. You love Tiramisu. The pussy he must have gotten.

Like Ava Brown must have been something. Now, he was the most powerful man in town, I've been told. I've been told about that. He's very popular. Now, they have no pictures of him there, but if you ask politely, They will provide you with a booklet. Ask politely. This is Amos Gil asking the waiter politely.

Is that where Hitler sat? He sat over there, didn't he? That was where he sat. And there's other diners who don't know that. They're like this. What? Yeah, yeah. There was a beautiful blonde frulein.

There was a beautiful blonde woman sitting at the table. German people, big people. And wouldn't Hitler have been so proud to see a buxom blonde sitting in his favorite seat? I'll tell you what. During the meal, there's still hope for Deutsche. During the meal before the dessert, I shat myself basically, my bowels collapsed and I had to run in. And the problem with the bathroom doors in Germany is this is, I don't know the different names. So I show up to the male and the female toilets.

I don't know which one to bloody go in. And the men's ones called. Well, they're actually there to fuck you over because Damon and Heron. Now, Heron is for men, but it's got her. Heron is men. Damon is for women and it's got men in it. Damon's men. women. So I show up, I see the word men, and I go in like I've got to ship myself,

and my asshole's done that. We made it. And it's all ready to go. And there's just women sitting in there. They were very unhappy with me going in there. So then I had to run over the other one. I made it just in time. But that wasn't the highlight of the mill. The highlight of the mill was, young Amos here asked the waiter. He said, where did Hitler said, they said, just over there. We were sitting right next to him. Then he brings us over a magazine. I said, you guys are not allowed to obviously put up any merch or anything. You didn't say you're not allowed to put up merch. You said, why isn't there a plaque or something?

Why isn't there a plaque or something? In a country where you can't be a Holocaust denier and they've gotten rid of the bunker where Hitler committed suicide, that's just the bus stop. There's a sign there. There's a sign. There's no more buddy statues. I've got to put my arm down.

There's no more statues. There's nothing going on. And then you go to his favorite restaurant. and I quote, over a course of Teramisu, why isn't there a plaque? Well, if I was in, if I was in Georgia, which is where Stalin was from, you'd imagine that go, Stalin had a couple of, he must have had a couple of progues in Stalin. Must have gone there for university. He's killed a lot of people.

And I imagine he's got his favorite restaurant. You imagine there's a plaque for Stalin. You have no proof of this plaque for Stalin. You can't use that as a defense. Oh, well, I reckon the Russians would have Stalin. I reckon they would. I'm Stalin over here. Now, I've already done this joke on stage.

Julius Caesar gets his own casino. He killed three million. It's just a matter of time. That's all. Have we talked since we've been to Iceland? I'll show the photo of the restaurant. No, no. Okay, so it's this weird thing where, yes, history lovers do know that this was his restaurant.

And of course, you would go and check it out. Of course. Okay. So the first time. The restaurant was full. A five-course meal, a fish. The meat option was pigeon. And they looked at our faces and we went,

after, hey, man, after we can get your beef cheek. Oh, you're like the beef cheek. After eating the beef cheek, we can understand why he hit them was a vegetarian. But, yeah, he's a vegetarian. What was he eating in there? The nocky? He had the spinach. The spinach.

The spilted spinach. So I went to dry eyes. Just turn your input down a little bit. You've gotten louder. I'm peaking, bro. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, so I went there. three years ago with Anaker and she was in the car and she goes, I'm not going in there.

Why wouldn't she go in there? She said, you're going to turn up there and look like a fucking neo-Nazi because we've already eaten dinner. I said, I just want to look at it. So she goes, I'm not going to walk into an Italian restaurant and go, where did Hitler sit? But any hotel you go into in Munich or any beer hall, go to the beer halls. The beer halls are where he gave all of his speeches, right? And now it's Octoberfest and everyone's having a good time in that room.

Like, there's many sites that you can see where he's. Hitler story. So I walked in and I said, I was looking around awkwardly and the waiter comes up to me and goes, you are looking for his table? Yes. And I said, yes. And he goes, come with me. And he showed it to me. He pointed it out. He goes, he would sit in this corner because his back was to the wall. He could feel safe. The whole restaurant would be looking at him and he loved that. He would command the entire restaurant. And they would wait for him outside. And then this time when I raised. Until he would hail a cab. What I said to them, do you have anything, you know, that shows your history? Because the restaurant's been there since 1890. You know, you didn't. You said, why isn't there a park? Shut up. They gave us this.

So this is where we dine. So that's the restaurant. This is outside the restaurant. That's the front of the sign. That's all the pussy waiting for him as he leaves. There are all the people going, oh, there, yeah, that's how word traveled before the TikTok and the incident. That wouldn't even be mobile phones.

That would have been people running up and down the street. Guess who's in the phone? fucking restaurant right now. You'll never believe it. And they'll all show up. Now, this goes to my other point. It's before Michael Jackson or Taylor Swift, all the other Nazis. That's what it used to be.

That's the Esterea Bavaria at the time. His favorite restaurant. Now Asteroa Talyana. Go check it out. It's not bad. It's all right. Here's my honest view. They overcharge you about 20 euros for the meal because of Hitler.

The Hitler up tax is after you have to pay. And they shouldn't have had so many fridge magnets to buy on the way out. The Reich charge. Yeah. if there was more tourism because World War II tourism what's the most popular generation

to extract money out of right now the baby women is what's their favorite thing World War II I am surprised that there isn't more World War II German tours now there is some I understand that but if they'd preserve some more Nazi stuff and then you donate all the money to

You can go to Dachauze you can go to Outswitz you can see things you just want to see the nice things about the Nazis That's what you're missing out on. You're like, I can see Dachau, but it's so grim. I've done them. Where was his gold throne?

Well, if they kept the bunker alive, it'd be the number one tourist destination in the world. Where was Ava Bronze Sex Swing? That's what I want to see. Yeah. You wouldn't want to see that? I do want to see that. We looked at the bath. I've seen the bath that Churchill would dictate his notes into.

I've sat on the toilet at the top of the London. what's the tower in London Tower of London? In the Tower of London. At the top of the Tower of London, they had a prison cell ready for Hitler, just sitting there. And they had put in a toilet ready for him. And we did a fill piece for the Jim Jeffrey show that never aired.

But I went up to the top and I sat on Hitler's toilet. How was it? I've never come so quick. No, it was a basic old. They hadn't figured the plumbing out quite yet. So there's still a turn to just sitting in there. Give us a call. Unless someone had cleaned it.

13, 24, 10. Give us a call. Have you ever sat on any dictator's merchandise? Just getting ready for commercial radio. Yeah, I thought they go, do you want to sit on a dick taker? And I'm not particularly. I don't want to sit on a dick taker. We have to talk about other things that Jim's been up to.

He's been at his, dare I say, demerish best. What do I do? So we have a new tour manager. We're in a lovely hotel room. I'm in a lovely hotel room that I had the book extra because we have a tour manager called Adam and if Adam's listen, we love you, Adam. You're a great fella.

And he's doing a good job for the most part. But there's been some areas. There's been some areas and I'm a very unforgiving boss. One of the areas was we had to travel from Stuttgart. Stuttgart. Well, by the way, Stuttgart, you get a bad rap, Stuttgart.

You're all right for an industrial city. The Mercedes-Benz Museum is second to none. There is no other Mercedes-Benz Museum that's better than that. that one. Very good. Also, we went to Octoberfest for literally 15 minutes after our show and looked at all the people. At the end, the people on a Sunday night who had been drinking. That was the last day of Octoberfest. Did you, did you notice though? I ever what? What fuck is that? That's when I always get an idea. You guys want to hear that.

That was my head. Yeah, I'm going to pick on one of the other amendments. The right to main silent. have been an art piece i won't say anything you got a bit in the postmaster general now now um the point is is the german men there all loved me i they ignored you because i was wearing a bavarian coat you you said i was a trainer you have german outfits who shows up with german outfits we fought against the germans and he has a joan he's marrying a german woman marrying into a german family he fucking loves him he loves him i like him they could have sold more tickets but i like him They didn't like me in Munich. But if you're watching this on YouTube and you have 3D glasses,

I hope you're enjoying the knees. I hope this must be a wonderful view for you. Or a bit of basic instinct. Around she goes. All right, Sharon. Let's get into you being. Too much Sharon. Shouldn't Shannon so much.

We have a rule on the tour, I would say, anything that's under five-hour drive or train? Yeah. Yeah. Fire. Okay. If, okay, five hours is the furthest will drive. If we have to drive further than five hours, what do we do? Jack, we get a plane, don't we?

But if we don't want to do that, we don't. Jack, can you turn your microphone on? It's on. I'd like you to be involved in this because you've been involved in the booking. So you could be under the bus. No, no, I did this myself. I didn't let Jack take too much control. Okay.

So Stuttgart to Munich is 233. Don't you think that's close, Jack? 230 kilometers. Colometers. I was waiting for him to get excited about miles. It's 233 kilometers, Jack. Well, that's better, isn't it? Yeah, that is better.

So you wouldn't want to fly that, would you? Because that's not much at all. How far is that? That's like 140 fucking miles. It's nothing. And anyone who's probably less. Yeah, that's fine. You need to know about Jim.

He doesn't really pay attention to where, we're going to be until the day before. The day before I go, what are we doing tomorrow? How are we getting there? Right? This is how I travel around the world. Yes. What are we doing tomorrow?

When do I have to wake up, right? And he goes, all right, because he's fucking scowls, right? He goes, what we're going to do, right? We're going to go to the airport, but it's a quick flight. It's only 20 minute flight. Like this, right? And I went, I went, wait, because I remembered, because I came out here in 2006 to see the World Cup with my father and Australia played Brazil in Munich and then the next

game was Australia, Croatia in Stuttgart. I have done this train ride before, but it still didn't dawn on me until Amos came up to me next and goes, you know, it's only a train ride away, right? And I was like, fucking what? So even though I'd paid for me ticket, I protested and I said, I want to get the train. I said, but you cuns who have already, I've paid for everyone's tickets. If you think the flight so much better, you can get on the bloody plane, right? 20 minute flight versus a two hour, 40 minute train ride.

When the hotel that was staying in was at the train station. The hotel was at the train station. So two hour 40 minute train ride, we're here city to city, city to city, city to city, and you guys getting on a fucking plane for 20 minutes. So we did a bit of Phileas fog. Well, you exactly said to him, we're going to do an experiment. I see. We take off the same time.

but if I make it to the hotel before you, you're in big fucking trouble. Well, this is, yeah, he goes, that's a, that's a bit I'm fucking willing to take. He goes, because it's show day and, and I'm the tour manager,

and I'm in charge of making sure that you get there in show day on time. And I'm like, in what world are fucking airplanes more on time than German trains? Well, that's where he did lose in the debate. He goes, me, you know,

it's just about reliance. and getting that on Simon, you know, at the end of the day, you just can't trust the trains. And we're like, hold on. You can't German trains. And then I've since found out the trains are fucked. Then I googled it. It turns out the planes are more reliable, but I didn't bring that up in the argument after yelling at him about the German trains.

Anyway, so I left the hotel 30 minutes later. I left so late that Amos walked by my door and heard my alarm go off in my room. Yeah, that hurt me. Right? Wait, then I got... Amos fly? Are you the only one day? Amos, I'm not paying for this cunt to have a scenic train ride.

I'd already pay for a flight. The train ride was a $600 train ride versus a $600 flight versus a $100 train ride. Much cheaper, if you know, maths. And I do. That is cheaper. That is cheaper. That's cheaper, right? You'd agree with that.

So I couldn't get a refund on his ticket. it. So he had to fly. I'd already spent the money. And then I was like, all right, then I'll go, I went down to the train station. You know what I did? You know what I did in the train station? I went down. I went down to the train station while you were queuing up through security, having to hide your bad things in your bag. Putting every liquid in its own individual bag. Put an every liquid in a thing, then getting patted down or having an x-ray that could potentially give you cancer in the future. All of these things. With European people who don't know how to line up.

Can I just take a quick aside? You know what I had was a big bratwurst and a little bun like that covered in mustard while they were doing that because I got to the train station 20 minutes early. Then I went in and sat in my first class ticket. And by the way, you don't even need a first class ticket. Guess what? They never checked the tickets. No one came through. There was no conductor that stamped the ticket and there was nothing at the end of the platform.

That's what the AFD is going to win at the floor. No, you could have done it for free. You could travel Germany for free on the train. They don't check the tickets. No one gives a fuck. Flying in Europe is horrendous because you've got to give credit to the British Empire for this. Right. Okay.

Wherever they have gone. Yes. Australia, Canada. America. Oh, yeah. Okay. India. People line up and take row by row to get off the plane.

Usually where the British are. Oh, you know how I feel about this. European countries. No, but Australians aren't brilliant at it either. They're better than Europeans. We're better than Europeans. Because you know the story where I chased the bloke down in the airport because he cut me off in the in the line you know you everyone's about to leave row by row by row by row this guy was

there with his bag I saw a little fat fuck with his bag and he charged through and then I followed him and went why are you fucking going so far as well did you end to get 50 meters ahead of us did you oh I'm getting to me next flight he said I'm getting to me next flight so I fucking follow the cunt there was still 50 minutes on the flight the lying little fat fuck you know you are with your shit tattoos on your forearm push it in front of people on the plane Fuck me. Anyway. So anyway, we get on our flight and we have a delay because a woman who had paid for first class was last on the plane.

Yes. And there was no bag space ahead of where she was sitting on top of her. And so they took her bag and moved it to the back. At this point, she starts protesting saying, I've paid for bag space up front. Yeah, fair enough. I won't. I will not go back there. So clear room.

or put it in the luggage compartment or in the coff pit where they have the tomahawk where they keep the tomahawk that little atomic hawk cage and the omani pilots yeah check they're not political the pilots

I just make sure those two are getting on did you side note did you know that coppicks had hatchets what do you mean? No I've never read it it's what happened in the terror attack so the Israeli airline thing

right like the plane the pilot that was going to make the plane go down, all right? The other guy protected himself, or he got attacked by the hatchet that's inside the cockpit. Is that so? The pilots have a little axe. I don't read the massage script all the time.

The pilots have a little, all, I reckon after 9-11, someone went, they need a head. Put a little axe in there. I thought they'd be armed. I thought they'd have a pistol. Fucking got a little axe. Maybe it's the chopter and attacking each other.

Yeah, it was. It wasn't like he didn't bring the axe on. This was the axe that's always there. Right, in case of G had break glass. Could you imagine if you had an axe in your car with your girlfriend or your wife? This accident would happen about once a year. There's a little hatchet that's in a console that you could lift that and go, I'm not happy with your driving.

My point being, because this lady kicked off a stink, the worst thing that could happen on a plane other than a hijacking, by an Omani pilot who is trying to bring jihad to Israel was this little X. They couldn't close the door in time, which meant some of the ground crew timed out,

which means we needed to get new ground crew in because this fucking frown line was kicking off. And as soon as they swapped over the staff, and they said, we've missed our window. It's going to be a 45 minute delay. I just hear Adam behind me.

Fuck. I'm not going to hear the end of this. Oh, so I didn't know the plane was delayed. I thought I just beat it. I thought I'd beat it in total. No, there was a delay, man. Oh, so the flight was delay. And Adam is...

I should listen when people talk to me. That's interesting. You were too busy teeing off at the man about your success. He tried to, by the way... Well, don't spoil the end of the story. I don't know how it heard you. Oh, I thought you thought, okay. I thought you were saying I was in a park going,

I'm a very famous comedian. Very big. I'm just telling you about my success. I am so huge. Game shows, movie. Van Kassent Club. Here we go.

Read the message I got from Adam. I've got to get me glasses for this one. At 1.16 p.m. 116 p.m. Where is it? The bitch is going to cost, this bitch is going to cost me the win here. And not only it was the win.

He thought if, If we were any later, you were going to fire him? Like, he thought this was a test for future jobs. He's like, mate, that fucking bitch that didn't put her bag, you know, she doesn't realize all the people's lives are at stake here, my fucking livelihood. Just fucking sit down, you said he couldn't. We've got a few days off in Munich, right?

So without hotels. You know what I like, Jack. What do I like for hotels? Twins. Now, what do I like? What's my preference? You like nice hotels, but you don't give a crap about it. I don't give a crap about a view

I like nice hotels but not five star I stay in Marriott's I stay in Marriott's I stay in chain restaurants Main chains because I know they'll be clean I don't need room service

And not Hilton's because Hilton's have been very inconsistent over the years So we try to do quiet You never know what's going on With the Hilton in America In America In America it might be walking into a fine hotel Or it may be a drug den

Hilton The last time I put you to Hilton was it conquered Connecticut or something? It was just like, I call them suicide hotels because they got the balconies all in the middle of the room. You know where you go up and you just see a foyer of just like brown piles at the bottom. And then you look over that balcony and you always think, oh, God, if I killed by herself, be quite a scene, wouldn't it?

Everyone would see. Might be how I want to go. Probably get back to my room. So anyway, because he was there an hour before. us. Anyway, anyway, he'd checked in. I'd said the thing. I said, basic hotel, holiday in, holiday in express, I will do any Marriots. Courtyard. Courtyard. I'm married it. Courtyard. I push you in courtyardsards all the time. All day. Hey, hey, you know what I do do at Hilton?

Tell me what I do do at Hilton. I'll do a double tree all day, bitch. Warm cough. I'll do it. Double trees are good. Double trees. Double trees are hit by Hilton, But that's the Hilton premium. That's the Lexus to the Toyota, right? The fucking the double tree. The double tree is when Hilton's given a fuck and they give you a warm cookie. Brilliant. With some walnuts in it.

They don't give a fuck if you have a nut allergy. They want it to be as good as it can be. Anyway, so I'm good with hotels. The hotel, we got to. So I'm not sounding like a diva. Tell me about your room. Look, we pulled up. We're here for five days.

We're here for photos. We pulled up and I knew there was a problem, Jack, because Jim had beaten us by an hour, but he was standing with a suitcase out the front. I, okay, okay. I looked at Adam and out of this. Not good, mate. May I aid.

May I aid. I had beaten them by so much that I had checked into my room, got into my room, had a shit, had a shit, laid down on the bed and gone, no and it was a complete nut a dump and and and I I I looked online at hotel rooms and I sort of found like a one that was 300 euros a day 400 euros a day for five days nothing too flashy is what we're in now right and I said I said that one looks all right it's in town this one was out

in the fucking boonies right spray paint all over the wall of that right so I leave I'm got me bag I'm standing in the sidewalk waiting for my umma and I see a black van that I'm paying for, fucking rock it up to me. Today's episode is brought to you by Quince. We love Quince. Quince is the best. Quince is the best and they provide great staples, builders of the wardrobe that you need for all seasons and we are moving now into the fall and to the winter periods.

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I got myself a couple of polos. You become a polo guys. Polos, they fit good. Leather jackets, suede jackets. I'm looking at a jacket. I haven't taken, I haven't pulled the trigger yet, but I'll look at one. Find your next full favorites at Quince. And download the Quince app for app exclusive offers.

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And this big black van rox up. And he just thinks he's out of it. He goes, all right, Jim, you know, you beat me? You beat me? It's fine. I'm sorry. And I was like, it's all right, mate. I was pretty calm.

No, he was calm. But this is the best bit, Jake, is as we were going, Adam goes, right, we've got to save him some fucking money, yeah. So here's what's going to happen. He wants something nicer, I get last. What we're going to do is, you're not going to check into your room, and we'll get your room refunded, and you'll stay in what Jim's room is, right? I go, yep, that sounds good.

As soon as I see Jim, he goes, I'm getting out of this fucking hotel. It's a dump. And he goes, you can have my room, fine. But I did take a big shit in there. So then I give the key and go to Adam, you can have Jim's room. It's the bigger one. He's like, your sound mate. Thanks.

I never, you, that's not what happened. You stepped out of the vehicle and he went, and you can have his room. And I said, here's the key. And you went, have you had a wank in there. I did say for wank. You said, have you had a wank in. And I said, Jack, one hour of him in a hotel room, he would have had a wank. I wasn't there for an hour.

I was there about five minutes. I was, I was prepping for my wank. I never got around to it. Thought I might get bedbugs. Right? So, so, so I did a shit. And this is what actually made me deciding to stay in the room. And I said this to you, I go, it just wouldn't flush.

It just sat there with the solid shit. And then it flush and then it would go doog do do do do go and then it would float back up again. Oh, no. I'm like, get the fuck out of here. This is a toilet that won't flush shit. This is your whole purpose. I'm not expecting you to clean the sides or anything, but you've got to get past the end, S-Ben, mate.

Did the toilet flush ever? Did you leave it with the shit in the toilet? I believe. I ended up taking him. room and I kept the shit there because it was the preferable smell. Now, let's get into the news. That is the news, though. Oh, there's other things that have gone on, but we're having a wonderful time.

So, obviously, the plane was delayed, right? So, like, but do you still believe in your decision that the train was always going to be the better choice? It's a better experience. The train was always, it was wonderful. They, hey, they didn't come by and ask to sell my ticket, but they did come by and give me a fucking biscuit, man. They gave me a little bit of shortbread

and didn't ask a wee ticket. Fucking all right, though. It was good, the German trains. I want to give a shout out to Iceland. Fantastic audience. All the audience has been great. But Belgrade, let's fucking give it up for Belgrade, Serbia.

Sold that gig. The audience was on fire. They had fucking, they were laughing at any fucking joke. They were the best ever. Brilliant. I'm fucking brilliant. I love that. I have to give it up to them.

I'd give it up. That's been one of my best European gigs. They're in the Dutch. I always seem to do well with the Dutch, right? But I tell you what, the fucking, the Serbian, Serbia, I'll be back. Have you got any other towns? I'll come to all of them. You're fucking great.

Then, when you meet them outside the hotel, they are the grumpiest human beings on earth. You know what? You know, Nicola Yoachich? He's probably, he's like they missed the personality. Okay, so if you don't know Nicolioch, Nikoliyokic is regarded as, one of the best players in the NBA. He wins a championship with Denver. In my lifetime, that's the first championship they've won, right?

They never won anything. They bought the trophy to the country and they said, hey, you want to come and stay for a parade. You want to come and stay with big bus braids? And he was like this, no, season is now over. I want to go back to Serbia and be with my horses. They are in Serbia, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I wanted to go. So he didn't want to do a ticket. parade and then the people like you have to stay for the parade and then he was like this this is actually pretty awesome i'm glad that's and his nickname is the joker because he's not got a funny bone in his fucking body this cat i don't know if that's because it's yokic jokic joker right but he's also as serbia lost our bags for two days oh there we go wonderful gigs terrible airline your customer service sucks dick serbia but you're the greatest or I've seen a while.

I think you know these things about yourself. The bags get lost. We had to fly from Iceland to where do we fly into? Copenhagen and then Copenhagen to Belgrade, right? We stayed in Copenhagen. We get to Belgrade and they go like this, the Belgrade there, the bags aren't there. And they go, obviously you had too short a turnaround. And we're like, we were in Copenhagen for four and a half hours.

A entire block of cheese. Four and a half hours. And they didn't get the bag on the next plane. They didn't fucking sort that out, right? I had to pay a whole lot of money to get my bags back because they lost it because they didn't even check in the cunt. It was just sitting in a room unchecked without a fucking label. I had to get a detective. Here's the best part of this jack, right?

They go. But I got to give it up. I got to give it up for Adam who found the fucking bags, man. We've been teasing you. If you're listening at him, you got our fucking bags back, baby. You did good that day. Best bit about this, Jack, is that we're like, well, Air Serbia says they can get the bags to us tomorrow. But if they don't in time, we're on the road again to another country.

And so we'll be playing bag tag for the rest of the trip. So Adam goes, we can just get a guy who's going to go into Copenhagen, pick up the bags for us. It's going to cost Jim two grand. Two grand to get me bag back. No worries. There's not two grand worth of clothing. All it is is black t-shirts and jeans. So with the two...

I was wearing me shoes. Jim spends the two grand. because he's like, yeah, we've got to get our bags back. This is the best bit. There's some creams I needed for my sorrias. Jim turns up to the airport the next day. His bag is waiting for him in Serbia. So he only spent two grand to have my bag delivered to me.

So you spent two grand to get my suitcase. Yeah, I only got his suitcase back. His suitcase got, I had paid two grand for this cun's bag to get back. And his clothes are worth less than mine. That's where we got the podcast equipment. So we could do this now. I remember how it was like, I'm sending a guy to it to the warehouse. I'm like,

it look like this? Jack. Yeah. Oh, yeah. One guy was like, we found the bags and the another bike was just like, no. Our bag's just back there? Indiana yoga. You just told us to go back there and get the bag.

There was another gentleman who said to come back here and get the bag that it's here and he's seen it. I don't know about this bag. But now we should do some positive stories, Jim. I don't know. We should do some positive stories. And what was this back? We're better to start.

Is it a hand the bag? Let's give the audience. We've got to give happiness. I know, I know. So let's tap into the... Because we'll all be fucking dead soon because the plagues are coming. The black plague is back.

Now, it used to be the bubonic plague because it was transferred by fleas from the rats. Now, it looks like the Russians have in a lab, what do you call it? I've never been closer to Russia than I have right now. Aerialized it so that it's a pathogen that can be spread via the... I might be bringing it back to America.

So let's play some clips, Jack. Play some of the news stories we've got about black death returning in this year of 2020. A Russian lab worker is dead. Hundreds of people are in quarantine. So is the plague that caused the black death about to spread once again? The plague is caused by bacteria called Yersinia pestis and comes in several forms. Bubonic plague is spread by the bites of infected fleas, causing painful swellings under the skin. The black death in the 14th century killed between a third and half of Europe's population.

But the bacteria can also cause the even more deadly pneumonic plague. It can spread from person to person and is inhaled as infectious droplets. It is highly contagious, causing a severe lung infection and is nearly always fatal, leading to death in as little as 18 hours, unless it's treated fast. The black death was just one of several pandemics caused by plague bacteria. in the past. But these days, there are fewer cases, between 1,000 and 2,000 a year,

normally as bubonic plague. Most cases are in parts of Africa and Asia, but even in the United States, there are a handful of people infected each year. Antibiotics are highly effective against both forms of the disease if they're given in time, and global deaths are now generally below 200 a year.

But with any outbreak of such an infectious and dangerous pathogen, I hope they're working on that antibiotic. containment is a priority and we will know within days where the efforts in Russia to shut down the spread of work this isn't another antibiotic

coming out of nowhere to sweep the globe we can take an antibody this is a known bacteria with treatment that works okay so the worry that they're having is that this is so this is killed a lab worker in Siberia yes

which you've got to think so I'm glad it's in Siberia the worry that they're having is that we're all going to die Once again, why are we fucking with this? We've found this thing that's killed human beings in waves. I hope when we all die, they play back this footage. So that I can prove that I was right. To rats.

Yeah, to whoever takes over. So when we saw it, Jack, I want to play another one. Have you got the clip of Donald Trump addressing it? This made me feel worried because normally he would play things down. Is this the one with him? the lady? Yeah. Have supported you from the beginning. What do you say to those

tonight who are struggling to pay for gas, groceries, diesel, when can they see some relief? So we have the greatest economy in the history of our country. We inherit... No, that's not it. Sorry. He really dodged the question. No, that's not the one. The one is basically

Trump is saying they're a little concerned and they have had a cabinet level meeting where they're discussing it and talking to the Russians about whether or not can be contained. There's talk of lockdowns happening in that city of Itursk or something like that. I don't know how the fact they pronounce. Yeah, that city can't leave now.

They have to have the military stand out in the border of that city until that city is all dead. So over dinner. Or they get over it. Over dinner as we were. Sorry. Next to Hitler's table. We were saying, let's just say that we go into another pandemic again. Yes.

Which will change the world forever. What are you doing? this time because I've already started thinking, I don't, New York won't be for me. I can't be in New York. The moment this spreads into more than 2,000 cases, I'm going countryside. Do you remember when they used to get on the balconies and clang their pots and pans during COVID? Oh, the early days for the NHS.

For the NHS. The NHS. They would go out, they'd bang their pots and pants at 5pm every evening to applaud the nurses. Fucking shift workers, mate. shift workers who need their fucking sleep, you dumb cunts. And you're out there bashing your fucking pans. Oh, they feel so appreciated.

And what will happen, you would think, is, is that funny? Yeah, that will make us to a fully digital economy. You would think? Yeah. Your cards will be worth something more. So there is that. Don't tell people about me cards. That's how I'm going to pay off the slave lords.

Your training cards will go through the roof. You would imagine we would now, where does comedy go? I'll tell you what, no more Zoom shows to be in the next one. If the plague comes out, that's the last live show I do. And you know there's a struggle for me to make online content really hard, especially if Jack's not around. I can't really turn on a computer, so that'll be the last you hear from me. If the plague comes out tomorrow, you won't know if I live or die.

Do you think you could, did you watch Norm McDonald's last special when he, when he was, he recorded it just to him to the camera? No. Because he, you haven't seen that. No. You think you could do, let's just say the plague happens. You're sitting on your new hour right now that you haven't filmed for Netflix. Yeah. You can't do that anymore.

Could you do it to just, just Jack, it was recorded, released like that, just you and no audience? I don't care to do that. How bored do you think I've got? As long as someone. Netflix gives you a million. As long as someone is working at Sony for PlayStation, I'm okay. The world is fine. I won't be doing anything else.

I'll just be playing video games. So there will be, this hour will be lost. The end of the world, the end of the world will be playing Call of Duty as the mushroom cloud goes up. I'll tell you this about Hollywood. As the black deaths continues to spread throughout Los Angeles County, Yes. Managers and agents from UTA, Braille, St. CAA will still be working on deals for people to be doing plague content,

plague partnerships, deals with it. If a couple of comedians or actors who are a bit higher on the latter than me and the plague affects them, I don't think I haven't thought about it. And this is plague, really? Like only 10 of us are alive and I'm the most famous one? Brilliant. There's a scum. So there's another video I wanted to show you because if it's not enough for

the plague. I'm going to draw this together with my belief that we've gone medieval but tech. Have a look at this Ukraine war footage of drones dropping molten thermite on the enemy positions. Have look at this horror. Fourth of July, baby. They're drones and they're just dumping the black death or you're melted from a drone overhead. It's always good though. It's always good though. when you see a new weapon in the you go oh someone had to think of that that that wasn't in the last movie was it that's a new one now you'll see something here hit this Russian tank which will bring us to a bit of crowd work you do okay what crowd work about so we're doing a show in

there it is in Berlin and Jim goes what do you do here mate and the guy goes I do single he was an Australian like Australian bloke in the audience. I said any Australians here. You know, I hear me, me, mate. That's pretty, for it. Chuck, just keep this playing. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's nice. It's very, I can go to bed watching that.

It's very, it's very soothing. The, oh, well, how many, how many times you fall in asleep to a World War II documentary? Each and every single night. Amazing. Annika always says that this is how I fall asleep every night. Hitler made a giant. mistake. Operation Barbarossa must to be the turning time.

Must be hard for you to sleep the erection. So Jack, as you saw that video right there. So we've got essentially electronic dragons blowing up people of melting them and Black Death, which has been built in a Russian weapons lab. It does seem that post-World War II anyway, we are doing our utmost with our technology. to take us as backwards as possible with a modern twist. We are living in neo-medieval times where we're building pathogens and viruses

which are super resistant to antibiotics and finding new ways to kill each other. You say that, I say innovation. It's neo-media. Public shame is back. Bring that back. Bring back the stocks. Now, I did, you didn't see, did you see my video? Should it all be accountable?

Actually, that way, you know what it would be. if when we kill the billionaires on Wall Street, everyone's head would be there, and they'll call it the Stocks Market. Yeah. I remember what happened. So I went, there was a British bloke. It was a British bloke.

I said, oh, where are you from? And he was like a northern ladder. He was from Derby, right? And he's from, I'm from Derby. And I'm like, what are you doing over here? And he was like, I'm an engineer. And I'm like, what do you mean you're an engineer? He goes, yeah, I'm an engineer.

I make single-use single-use aircraft. Right? And I'm like this. I'm like this. What's this single? I'm too dumb. I didn't figure out what he's saying.

I didn't get it. The whole audience understood this guy makes killer drones. And Jim's like this. And I'm like, how do you get the money for that? That seems expensive to one way. One way. nice guy you're just a nice guy my brain doesn't work that fast anymore he was never a great brain

to be fair but it doesn't work as fast as it used and the only way that jim knew is because one of his agents from europe came in and goes how about the drone manufacturer and jim goes fuck that's what that was i would have had good stuff i would have said something really really very quick like this like this i would have gone oh for drones won't piss you off then. So... Would have been good? It would be great.

He's as sharp as ever. Later on, 20 minutes later, I'd think of something funnier. What would have Matt Rife said to him? Matt Rife would have gone, I don't know. I haven't watched enough Matt Rife. You know, nice lad, Matt Rife. He's all right. I don't mind Matt Rife.

We were just saying, you know, you just said that crowd works is the easiest thing of the world. No, I look. Not with that one as a topic. I'm a, I'm a mad crowd worker. I'm all right. I'm not your best. I'm definitely not your worst. I'm quick.

It's not always good. But you get it delivered fast. McDonald's like. Yeah, you get it delivered. That's the secret to crowdwork. Say the first thing that happens in your head really fucking quickly. Fuck off, cunt. As long as you do it quickly.

Well, you're a pedophile. That always works. That always works. So that, I mean, that clip there was, that's where we're at, by the way, in 2026 is we've got Iran. Yes. We've got hijackings on planes again. All right.

Then we've got the thermite drones. Then we have Donald Trump. And this is where we want to get to for, Jim, you are a Angelino. I wear the hat. Is this, I wear a different, I wear a different form this might. That's my home. You've lived there more than anywhere else. I've lived there more than I have anywhere else.

I'm an Angelino. Now, Jim is a representative of Los Angeles. I'm a Sydney Sider to begin with. Now I'm an Angelino. You're a immigrant who works in show business. Yes. Who likes the Dodgers. Of course.

Who's often high. You are as Angelino as they get. Oyvei. Okay. Yes. So Donald Trump has been talking about why it's necessary for oil to be so high and that there's all these threats coming from Iran. could get a nuclear bomb.

And then he said this about the city of LA, and I thought, you should respond because this is your home territory. So this affects you greatly. I want to see a tremendous victory. You want to see a tremendous victory because it verifies all the things we did. And again, remember, with the word,

it's just artificial. It's a little bit high. It's a small price to pay for keeping the world safe, keeping our country safe. They can take out a city. Let him take out Los Angeles. Let them take out San Diego.

That's, this is a very small price to pay. And it's going to be over with the person. It's essentially almost over with. The way it's being construed there is he's saying, look, let them, let them blow up Los Angeles or San Diego. This is to Nebraska. It would be a little price to pay for the rest of us to survive. If my family, you, Jack, you would also, you would also perish. People would like it.

Imagine a president saying that. It's very fucking hurtful that. very hurtful. There's the LA response. Imagine if someone said, let one of the butt fuck states fucking get it like Mississippi, those dumb fucks. Like,

like, or Hillary Clinton. The way they fucking talk about us, like we pay more tax than anyone else for the whole fucking country. We pay the most amount of tax. We have the biggest economy. You can't live without us and you always fucking shit on us. Los Angeles is a wonderful place with very good people.

and you want to say fucking drop a bomb on that terrible fucking thing to say. Yeah, I mean, the worst thing that the Democrats would say is, you know, there was an elitism of flyover states, but what they didn't say is fly over and drop bombs on them states. We never, we never told them

to drop bombs. I never said, go give Hawaii goes far enough away. It won't, you know, I never did anything like that. You fucking. Now that I've watched that clip, though, I think I do know, because I do speak Donald Trump. You know this.

So what I think, he was saying is, and now is this correct, you can be read. I think if that, I watched the rest of that speech, he was saying that the small price to pay is the cost of diesel. And he's saying they could blow up a place like

LA, but I blew them up first. So they couldn't get a nuke and that's why you have to pay for diesel. But once again, his brain is melted and he comes out with gaffs like this all the time now. Is that, is that a fair reading? I think that's a fair reading.

but I, no, not, we shouldn't have said that. I think it's more on the crowd for cheering. The people of Nebraska were kind of like, eh. Well, that's, that's, they're terrible people. Do you sell tickets in Nebraska before we go down? I do. I do, okay. I do okay.

I don't, I'm not political on stage anymore. I've stopped doing political things on stage because I like an easy life. I've gone for an easy life, me. Well, apparently you're too political because, uh, what did someone say? Someone the other day because we were talking about the fart left and the far right. And then he wrote to me, he goes, Jim, oh, your early work was really good. But now that you've decided to go all political. What about the far right, the far left?

He missed seasons. You know, he missed fucking seasons. He's like, this guy's gone too far now. Last thing he saw you do was the muscular dystrophy story. Yeah. He says you do fart left and goes, fucking go, go, broke. Yeah. He's missed gun control.

He's missed so much. Ah, well. All right. I'll have a good set when this whole world blows up. So that's what he's got to say about Los Angeles. And you're saying it's a small price to pay. The fact that the gas is high. Jack, do you drive?

Do you drive a pickup truck? I'm just going by your music or you've got a Honda, don't you? Nope. Nope, I have a Honda yet. Which I say on stage, which I make a very clear on stage. Okay. What are you paying for gas right now? it is

the site of California I think the cheap spot by me fluctuates between like 630 to like 650 it's fucking it's absolutely bad

it's crazy it's crazy I remember when it went to four and we're like crap and then went to five we're like okay now we're over six we're almost at seven I've seen in some places that have eight dollars per gallon well obviously that's going to be a huge election thing they've just gone two pounds a liter.

Is that more? In the UK, they've gone two pounds a liter? You've got to convert the pound and then you've got to convert the liters. I know, this is a lot of maths. This is a lot of maths. Get on it, Jack. Okay, Jack. There are $3.78 liters per gallon.

Okay. Oh, yes then. So, so three, six, seven, seven pounds, something. What? $7 something You've confused No what's going on there 2 pounds later

That'd be 6 Plus a bit more And then the pound into the dollar is It must be $9 50 It's 7.56 pounds Per gallon Yeah So they're fucking taking it up the ass

Way worse than you And they're fucking taking it up the ass Mate I was watching British TV While I was in Iceland That would be $10 a gallon in the U.S. Yeah, $10 a gallon. That's what the English are doing.

That's what they're doing. So America, you need to calm down. You're getting more fuel than other places are getting. It's fucking rough out there. It's fucking rough out there. You voted this can in. Here we are. Well, California didn't.

We didn't. We're going to die for it. But I will say this. Orange County did. You know what you see? You can drop it on Orange County. No one would be angry if you dropped in an Orange County. No, Disney.

Oh, do you know how many days that would save me? It'd save you two days. If you drop it on Disney, at least you make a point. They call that Milfasaki. The fucking death of a million milfs on Orange County. Is that where they all live? Is it Orange County? I don't know.

I've never been in the milf trade. Not your thing, the milfs. Yeah, I don't know. haven't kept tabs on that. Moving on, what did you have to talk? They did a second, honestly, though.

Honestly, but I'm struggling. I'm very far behind you here and I can just see it to your ears. Your fans, too. You meant to look at someone's eyes. I'm looking at your ear. Your ferns. We look straight ahead.

This one's going to make our podcast unique. we look like it's on a park bench or something. We look straight ahead. Don't face each other. People want to see how funny our faces are as we thought. These are two weird blokes that have found each other on a park bench. This is better than a studio anyway. And we're talking about the things that people want to know.

Okay. So how much other stories that I have with you? You've learned a lot already, haven't you? I was trying to get the clip of Donald Trump saying. Is there a fun one for the end? Yeah. The fun one at the end about, you know, about a, duck raising some cats or something.

Give us a cute story from around the world. Don't give us the plague, nuclear warfare. Okay, here's one. What's Greta Thunberg up to? What's Bonnie Blue been doing? I'm going to read you. I'm going to read you. Surely they're not too busy.

Here's my bookmark stories for the week. Okay. So when the week's happening, I bookmarked stories and go, do you more want to hear about this in the podcast? Let's see whether or not I've got to. it right. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So these are things that I've picked up. It's the plague. We've done it. We've done. Okay. Here's one. Here's one that you might enjoy.

Yes. It's, uh, okay. CIA admits to poisoning people in the sky. Okay. Uh, CIA, uh, CIA accused of poison. This isn't the daily male accused of poisoning the sky with toxin. Yeah, that's way different. As files exposed secret weather control agenda.

I just say them you, you bite. What's your fucking research? What's your magazine, truth.com or something. I'm carrying on. I'm carrying on. Here we go. He gets all riled up. We're all going to be dead next week.

No, no, we don't want to talk about this topic. I'm going to keep going past that one. Anything about Greta Thumburg, as I said. You know, I'm a fan like the following. Yeah, here we go. This was a story. is a fun one. Okay.

Because this involves the both of us on different ends. How dare you? This story has 6.4 million responses. Okay. Airbnb host uses AI to fabricate a photo of an overflowing toilet with shit gussling out of it so that they could steal the bond of people who stayed over the weekend. And they went, you clogged me toilets, you don't get the bomb back. The person said, we never used the toilet once.

it's come out now that they have detected the photo as AI. As an Airbnb owner, I have an Airbnb and I'll tell you this. People fucking break shit all the time. Yep, okay. You can't have nice things. If you have a pool table, if someone's there for a weekend, it'll just smash all the pool acoustics every fucking week. You have to buy them over and over and over again.

Now, I'm not saying what this person's done right, but I'm on the side of the Airbnb owner you can call me an elitist all you want the class war for leases one back for one of our kind I never get the bloody bond back no because a lot of people in comedy will talk they'll sympathize with the Airbnb's done though isn't it

but our show is for the landlord now you speak from the no no I got a little place in Palm Springs I've been very fucking successful I can have a little place in Palm Springs I can have a little tiny place in Palm Springs I go and beers it. I like to relax in. There's nothing fucking swanky about that. Let me ask you, have you seen a downturn at Airbnb

because I think everyone was into it? Where you go? Let me go stay. Let me live like I'm a guy in Sofia, Bulgaria, and see what life's really like. But then you get hit with a cleaning fee. And then some of them are that shit. And what happens as an Airbnb host,

people start breaking all the shit that makes it worse. They break the fucking, the board games you put in there or whatever. They lose fucking fees. they break things, they steal fucking cutlery and shit like that. You're fucking paying for shit all the fucking time.

Fucking shit. So you know what you do? You stop paying for the shit. And the place goes to shit. And then the people who go there, they don't have a fucking good time either. Airbnbs are over except for Coachella where we're going to come and get you. Coachella, that's a big one. Big one.

Shit. So I'm very entrepreneurial. See, there you go. You know I ran an Airbnb once. What did you run? My home. Can you cut that off? I was a lunatic then.

No, no, no. Cut that off. Things have to stay. Cut that off, Jake. Shit the shit, the shit, the shit. What part? I thought that was fine. It all went well.

It was all very good stuff. Are you being serious today? It was all good stuff. Well, you're complaining about how? Because I thought it was fascinated. It's like, yeah, it's true. I understand why there's like tyrannical like Airbnb owners, you know? Yeah, what are you saying is, is people go in to fuck up your house.

People got pushed to craziness. Yeah, I believe it. I'm not going to keep it nice anymore because you'll just, mate, fuck it up every fucking week. I used to have fucking corn. I used to have cornhole fucking game. And the hammock always breaks. Someone always breaks the hammock. Yeah.

Yeah. I have these hammocks out the back for people to lay in hammocks. But that people fucking break them, they find out of fucking breaking these sturdy fucking hammocks. I have to replace them all the fucking times. Because cunts are jumping on them. What's the cleaning fee on your property? I can't do it. I can't be a landlord.

I'm not built for this type of life. So I did it once. When I got my home, I couldn't afford my mortgage in any way. I actually don't mind. I wouldn't mind being a landlord, but I don't like being an Airbnb owner. I'm done with that. Can't do that. I got the house and I was like, I have a spare bedroom.

I might get into the business of renting that out. This was my big plan. I did it one time. Yeah. It was like, you know, fine. I think they paid me $350 for a few nights. And then I got another... In New York?

No, this is in Adelaide. Oh, okay. In your house, in Adelaide. And then there was cricket on. The ashes were on. So I went, I'll make a bit of money because I'm not far away from the cricket oval. So I had $700 coming in from a bloke who wanted to stay for the week.

And he turned up. And I hadn't washed the sheets from the last bloke. And the house was a fucking mess. I didn't have another towel. I don't know how one of the other towers was just. lost. So I had my doubt. And this guy from England... See, you know what it's like, it's hard to give it nice.

This guy from England turns up. He's like, mate, there's no tail, there's no linen. He goes, there's bloody hairs on the bed. I go, ah, I said, fuck, man, I forgot that I did this. I go, I wanted to get, I wanted to get into Airbnb. I can't

fucking, I can't clean my own sheets. I go, look, I'm sorry about it. I'll waive the fee and you can stay here for free because I've put you out and he was like really i go yeah you're gonna have it for free he's like best day ever this fucking this middle-aged english guy just stayed in this filthy bed and i gave him two hand towels to wash himself and he would come home blind drunk like i keep telling everyone how good's this i've lucked out free he's like you're all right did you ever change his

Cheats? Yeah, I got one, I got, and from the first time, I got a review that said, something is living in the toilet. And this young boy doesn't know how to take care of a property, avoid it all costs. I had one star on my Airbnb. Then I had the Englishman's day. And then I went like this, shut it down. Shut it down.

Failed. Failed mission. Because I forget that all the time. Having a misses makes you realize that is, and I tell you this, the way we, the way we treat women compared to the way we treat ourselves, I will live in shit and be perfectly happy in my house. I'm not washing the sheets regularly. I don't give a fuck. So when you have a guest come to your house, that's what you realize how poor you are. Once a week. That's what, yeah, that's when you know, like if you have house guests where you go, you look

through a different lens and say, this is vile here, isn't it? Yes. Right. Well, this is pretty much all we've got going on at this moment. Is there anything else you wanted to shout out an other Markets. Oh, I got loads of Canada. Come and see me, Canada. Edmonton, Calgary. Think about these places. Toronto, that one.

There's still time to have a shout out to Hamburg. We've got Providence coming up. Come to those shows. We have Hamburg to come. We have Stavanga, Norway and Bergen, Norway. That's the end. This is where the hamburger came from. Of the, of the, yes, that's right.

And that's the end of the European tours. So don't say, oh, where, VanVeed, you'll come again to Germany. That's it. Hamburg. Hamburg. If you're any German and you want to see it, take a train, don't fly. Yeah.

Come and see us. Come and see us in Hamburg. Very excited. It's sold really well, Hamburg. It's going to be the biggest one in Germany. And final note, stop. Yeah. Just stop fucking with ancient diseases.

There's no reason. Ah, just not while I'm in Europe. How about this to all the sciences of the world? How about this for a treaty? All the best scientists. in a lab currently fiddling with black death and Ebola. Yeah. Why don't you all do a treaty where you have to close all those labs down and work on boldness?

But once the chemical thing and you smash it, then the vial, it's out. Well, can't we put these... What I'm saying is... Can you ever unmake it? Put the great minds to something else. Like getting hair growth back, penis enlargement via pill. Just... What the fuck's calling me?

Oh, God, no. What's happened? I'll talk to Andrew later. Anyway, that's what's happening at this moment. And hopefully by this time next week, we'll never speak of this play. It'll be like the Hunter virus. Remember the Hunter virus? Remember that thing?

What the fuck was that about? Hunter Biden. No, Hunter virus. Remember that? That boat that was off the coast of South America for a while? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Remember that?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, that was good. That was one of 20 things I've sent to Jim going, the world will end. I'm hoping this is exactly the same. The plague. It's going to be tough. Yeah. It's going to be tough the plague.

And I don't know if I've changed my air conditioner filters. And you want to have them pretty spry during the play. You know what I'm going to do right now? I'm going to download. What was that fucking app that we all used at the beginning of the pandemic house party? Skype. I still use it. The best one.

Come on, Skype. I'm not going to change over. If you want to talk to me, I'm a Skype guy. So I have meetings. So I roll. Skype to the day I die, baby. Skype out.