I Don't Know About That - ATM Episode 8 - Who's Gonna Be The New Pope

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

At this moment Jim and Amos discuss who will be the new pope as well as Jim recent Easter argument, Amos becoming the beta male in his family, and Bill Maher meeting with Trump. SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: https://www.jimjefferies.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies FB: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/ Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

Alright, it's At This Moment. How you doing ladies and gentlemen? Welcome to At This Moment with me Jim Jefferies and Amos, I want to say Gil and how you doing mate? I'm good. You know I was told by my girlfriend to stop saying throughout the podcast, let's start over. That was shit, let's cut that. Oh I don't even know what the edits are. I don't listen to the podcast back after we do it. She goes, you seem to say a lot of the time, this is crap. That's because I think all content is crap.

I think most of it's a waste of time. And I'm glad we have listeners. I'm mystified, I'm amazed. But we're just surfs tilling the fields for the internet, giving out this free content. The good thing, we don't do ads. So we don't do ads. We just drive across town in an hour

and a half of traffic to catch up. This is the only way we'd have a chat otherwise. This is as free a content as you can actually have. I've got a few announcements in my career at the moment. Did everyone see the trailer for him just came out? I saw you post it, but you're really bad at posting things. I don't post things. I've got social media teams. Sometimes I would call Jack and I'd go, Jack make sure they do this, because I send it to your social people and then they do it.

I know, but you could have done a video like, hey I'm in a huge Hollywood movie. Instead you just reshared the trailer and didn't even say, I'm in this movie, watch this. Well, I don't know, okay, first of all, I'm only in like three or four scenes. You have a publicist? I might have two, I do now.

I don't like having publicists, but I do have a publicist? I might have two. I do now. I don't like having publicists, but I do at the present moment because I've got things coming out. And I'm in the movie. I'm not in the trailer. I believe I'm in the side of my face is in the trailer for a second, I've been told. But so it means I'm in the movie. So let's get this straight.

You've got a Hollywood movie. Yes. With the producer being Jordan Peele. Jordan Peele. Yes. Not the director. No No Justin Tipping's doing the director Yeah, you've got a Australian game show called the 1% club. It's coming out this Sunday the women's edition of the 1% club It's me and just women because it's ladies night. That's what it was. They called it ladies night So that's what we did and you have something else to announce? I have a game show coming out on Fox called The Snake. This is, I'd say last week. The Snake just came out, this is today when we're

recording the show on a Tuesday and we're releasing it tonight I assume so you're here on the Wednesday. The press release has just come out today and I had no idea, I hate the photo of myself with a passion. I've just been sent the picture. You've just been sent the picture and obviously put the picture up now and I'll try to replicate. How do we put that picture up? I mean just look at that folks. You put it up. I just had to show for a second. You look like you were the best regional real estate agent. Yeah? From the northern beaches. I'm gonna sell you property that you're like, it's a fixer-upper. What an

absolute prick. I don't know what they're like the suit, the background. I don't know why I look like a right cunt in the picture and I didn't have... I'm Jim Jefferies and I get results for you. Yeah a bit of that. It's also the Jim Jefferies show used to have a one with me holding a newspaper where I was pouting my lips like this and it's like I never get you to and then always my my agents are like you look good what are you talking about and I don't want it I think they think that this looks sexy or something I don't know because I what did you think Jack? Little pouty. Little pouty no no that was the Jim Jeffries show little pouty that this one the new one. You just look really clean cut.

Well, okay, so I was... It's not just that, Jim. It's just knowing you, it's funnier for us because we're very, very aware that that face you're pulling is probably because you have a prolapsed anus. So anyway, I'm hosting... When you see the press, just know it's a prolapsed anus and you go... I'm hosting a game show called The Snake, right? And The Snake is like a...

And they chose you because you're a fucking snake, bro. A reaction, because you're a fucking snake. Edit things. Is it gonna be fully edited? It's a show, it's got a little, it's got touches of Survivory, Fear Factory, Big Brother-y type of, you know, like those type of shows. It's people living together, people trying to complete tasks, all to get money. And it's got some unique qualities about it, The Snake. Things you haven't seen in reality

shows before. I've seen you attempt to host things before. How many takes did they give you? Because it feels like on the ice go. That's what I was a little worried for when you told me about it is if you have to do a one take, no prompt. I have prompt. I have like, I have like, I'll have someone in my ear feed me questions and stuff like that. And did you, did you fumble anything? Like looking back on it now, you're like, Oh, no, no, no. You could, you could go.

It wasn't like acting where you go in and you do a scene and then we go let's do it again yeah if you if you're going along you're like alright this is the game you have to do this this this and then blah blah blah blah then you stumble over a word just go oh let me say that again and you do do do do do and you say it again until they you know it's up to the editors to fix it do you think the people that this is on the Fox network? Yeah, Fox, yeah. How many of the viewers of Fox do you think know you from stand up? It doesn't matter. They know me now as the host of the snake.

But even if they know me from stand up, this is the whole thing because you're going to go because Fox is right. Like this idea that only right wing people watch Fox and left wing people watch NBC or whatever the fuck they were. I thought it was Fox News would be a little different. No it's just it's is there and it's also also look if you don't like my political stances on stand-up you can enjoy me on another level. I do just say the word sluts a lot and I say cunt more than anyone else. That's enjoyable to everyone.

Which is challenging for the family time slot of seven o'clock that you're coming to American screens on. I'll tell you what the Australian Australian game show, they record an episode over four hours and I just swear as much as possible. And then they edit it down to 40 minutes and I don't know, they just find the bits. Sometimes people write to me, why aren't you funny on that show? And I feel like I was doing the recording. So is this a show you can watch with your kids? Yeah. Yeah.

This is Jim Jefferies light entertainment. This is light entertainment, yeah. Do you know who your lead in is? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Jackie, you got the date that it is? I think I know the date, but I don't know if they've announced the date. It'll be on the press release. Dude, you're becoming the white Steve Harvey.

I thought he was the white Steve Harvey. No, what do you mean, like, the white Steve Harvey? Well, he's a stand-up comedian and he had multiple game shows. Okay, so I've never understood this idea that a bloke like me is not allowed to do family entertainment, right? I watched Eddie Murphy do Delirious and Raw and I also watched him in Daddy Daycare, right? Not on purpose. I found that movie by accident.

I thought it was Beverly Hills Cop 5. I was a long way into it before I got upset. But you get what I'm saying? Richard Pryor did the toy. Why am I not allowed to do light entertainment? Because I do dirty stand-up. No, I'm just asking the question and seeing if you're getting defensive about it.

I gotta fuck yourself. You've got kids now. That's always the way. See, I think you're allowed to get away with this when you have a family of your own. Because you get to say, I'm making entertainment that my family can watch. I was in the jungle and I was there for a few weeks making the show and it was a lot of

fun the people were very nice. I told you the food wasn't great, it wasn't one of the things but the contestants, I tell you what every contestant on that show I could be friends with. Every single one of them. Every single one of them. And it just shows because they were people from all walks of life, different ages, different occupations, lots of stuff. If you spend enough time with people and you play games with them, actual games. You can be friends with anyone. You can sort of be friends with everyone because you're not talking on a political level. You're not even talking on a religious level with them. You're talking about do this task and do this task and you're having a laugh.

Well that might actually meld into, I wasn't going to do this topic but we might as well now. Did you see Larry David's attack on Bill Maher in the New York Times? I have not seen Larry David's attack on Bill Maher. My wife is a big Bill Maher person and she's not happy about Bill Maher having lunch with Trump. Well, Larry David has written an op-ed in the New York Times and it's a clear piss-take about a man who went for dinner with Hitler and that he doesn't agree with what Hitler's

been up to but he sat there and made fat jokes with Hitler about Herman Goring and he thought he was very charming and Hitler was a real laugh and he wore a tan suit and he was a fun time and he doesn't understand why Adolf can't be the guy that he split the pretzel with instead of the guy that's out there thumping his hands in the right star. I thought it was bizarre that that was the big thing that like he was like and Trump and he said that Reagan had great hair that was the best thing about Reagan he had great hair and then what was the other thing he was like and he said that Reagan had great hair. That was the best thing about Reagan. He had great hair. And then what was the other thing he was like, and he goes, and I went with my friend Kid Rock.

And I got to tell you, he was funny. Trump was funny. And he laughed. And I'm like, I assumed he was. You don't get to be president, right, and not be charming. You don't get to have more than half the country vote for you and not be charming. That was never in debate whether Trump was charming. But Bill Ma did say he was funny. We've seen him laugh before

it was he found me funny which was such a comedian point to go as soon as someone laughs at me I'm fucking. Not if you saw his last special. No I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. I'm just theory. But no did he say he found him funny? Yeah because he's saying he made Trump laugh didn't't he? By extension. And that's such a shallow comedian's perspective, to be like, I will turn and love anyone. If Idi Amin and Pol Pot came to watch you do stand up, and they went to the meet and greet afterwards, and were like,

all things considered, you are one of the greatest stand up comedians I've ever seen. You'd forget all about the people with glasses who were killed in Cambodia. I can tell you that whenever people meet you, even if they think you're a disgusting comic or whatever like that, and they actually meet you, once they see the juxtaposition of you being quite nice and personable, right, all of a sudden they think you're wonderful. If people get to touch and feel you that they'll think you're nice I've always had the opposite. No for you. I'm talking about me right here if people see you on stage

I think you're wonderful. They meet you in person like He smells like you look sticky tape No, but I what do you think out? I just think as soon as you to me as soon as you bring in it was a funny piece and I get the idea of what Larry was doing. He's just having a bit of fun. He's having a bit of fun. But I think as soon as you bring Hitler into it, you always kind of lose. Okay, why did the-

We either use Hitler far too much. No, okay. Because Hitler in the secular world has replaced the devil. And so anytime there's a person you really disagree with, you don't say he's the devil, you say he's Hitler because we're not a religious society anymore and our absolute manifestation of people. Right, so why are you saying we're using Hitler too much? Who would you like us to use?

Who would be the place mark for Hitler? Mussolini? Yeah, right, so that would be better. You went, I went for dinner with Mussolini. And also, I don't like Trump. Salazar? And also, I don't like Trump. When people go, oh, you refer to him as Hitler. Hitler killed six million Jews.

Not on day one. Not on day one. I've never referred to Trump as Hitler at the end of his career. I'm Hitler, just come out of art school. That's what I think he is. I think Trump is Hitler after he just finished Mein Kampf, which is the, which was the art of the deal of its day.

Yes, but I'm sorry to tell you, Hitler served gallantly in World War One. He didn't pull out with Bones. Oh, no, no, no. In many ways, I have far more respect for Hitler. He served. You can't, you can't. He's a veteran who saw horrors and came home and thought what the fuck happened there. He served. He, he, he went through with his campaign promises.

Right? You can't, you can't say that about old Trumpy. Although, no, Trump does go through with a lot of them. Yeah. And then he gets them, he goes, you got tariffs, you don't have tariffs. But I thought it was, I, I, look, I thought it was, it was well written. I haven't seen the article. But it is odd to come out of no capri enthusiasm.

He must have been, I don't know, those guys clearly around the same age, they would know each other, right? Yeah, they would know each other completely. What do you think Bill Ma was like when he saw it posted? Uh, cause you've met Bill Ma. I've met Bill Maher. I've met Bill Maher. I don't, I quite like Bill on a one-to-one basis and I've done his show. I infamously, I infamously said Trump was Hitler on the show and told Piers Morgan to go fuck. I didn't say Trump was Hitler, mind you.

I just said give him a chance. That's what, but I didn't say he was Hitler. How do you think Bill will respond to Larry? I think Bill will be... New rule! Say it to my face! Until you've had lunch with the man, I've gone Jim Carrey now. I think Bill will say something about the last time he had lunch with Larry. Trump is smoking. He'll say that Larry was a lousy lunch and he wouldn't want to have lunch in the media.

What I would do is I would write an op piece against Larry about, what did he fucking advertise? Coins.com or some shit? He was a peddler of crypto, what was it? Was it the one, the FTX? Crypto.com. Larry David was admittedly pushing a crypto stand. That was where, no one loves Larry David more than me. Me too. I have loved Larry David forever. I once saw Larry David down at the driving range near my house, like a little golf driving range, which is the

public little thing, and I was so starstruck just to see him and I was like I might walk up, I'm a comedian, I can talk to him surely and I didn't I couldn't do it right. I love Larry David and also I love Julia Lewis-Dreyfus who also is a billionaire I've been told and heiress right. Those two people lost me in this world they lost me right. You don't I'm all look I can do ads I'm not a billionaire right and we do ads on the podcast and that type of stuff but we don't, I'm all, look, I can do ads, I'm not a billionaire, right? We do ads on the podcast and that type of stuff. But- We don't, we have no sponsors, no one's behind us.

But I've done ads on the podcast, I'm not anti doing ads. But doing crypto when you're worth, Larry Davies worth 600 million? I think a billion. Yeah, let's say a billion, and then you go, I'll do another advert for five million, out of a speculative thing like crypto for FTX Yeah, yeah that that I was like come on man. Well that reminds me of the Bill Hicks bit.

Julia Lewis Dreyfuss. No, I don't like the Bill Hicks bit either. I'll speak on this. Julia Lewis Dreyfuss doing an advert for Old Navy Right when she would never shop at Old Navy in her fucking life. It's all right if it's something you would actually buy or a product you agree with. Or something like the Peterman magazine. Exactly. There's things...

The hell just happened? What? The set just opened up and a door... Is Larry David coming out? There's a secret door. And here he is. No, so the building... It's not on camera, but a door just opened behind us.

Like a guest was walking out. The Bill Hicks bit where comedians shouldn't advertise. I think, I don't know why, because Shane Gillis advertises beer and stuff now. Other comedians are, but my generation weren't allowed to. We were seen as being bad if we did advertisements. Your generation's allowed to do it. And we weren't allowed to because of that fucking Bill Hicks routine.

I know he's your guy. No, he was never my guy. He's one of the fathers just like of the British alt comedy scene. Overrated. I think he's tremendous. Very good. But I saw Will Ferrell doing an ad the other day and I just thought, why? why how much do you mean Brad Pitt doesn't perf you What Kate would you ever say to an athlete? Would I say what to an athlete okay? Any capacity I've just contradicted myself because I've gotten into Julie Lewis drivers and Larry David because they're assigned for doing adverts and I Okay, so show hey, or Tani you go to Japan. It's just show hey every do you know how the Dodgers now? Right they have when you get to a base right they they do their little dance and they also go like this. Right? And where that comes from is there's a perfume advert where Shohei's in Japan and he's like smelling the perfume and he goes...

Look, there's some ads that are better than others, aren't there? A perfume, a runner, sporting things. It's another thing to go, hey, are you poor? Put your money into crypto in this speculative. Exactly, exactly. A car like doing going having McConaughey do a Lincoln commercial and go on, hey, this car is that's fine, right? Having Brad Pitt do perfume. That's OK. Having Shane Gillis do alcohol.

That's that's his audience. And he does like Bud. Look, I wanted an alcohol. When I was drinking, I was like, why wouldn't anyone want me to do it? It is one of the great misses of your career that you never were. Maybe you were such a sloppy drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the whole thing. Who should we get to advertise?

Because no one's drunk in alcohol advertisements. No one's ever like, T-Nose! You fucking bitch. If the Jack Daniels Corporation saw you with the product, they might have an internal crisis and close down the factory. It's like how Burberry had to stop selling hats because all the chavs were wearing them. Yeah, yeah, no.

I would have hurt Jack Daniels brand completely. Even Coca-Cola would have gone, just say you're mixing it with Pepsi. All right, thank you. Bye bye. Yeah, look, at I would have hurt Jack Daniels brand completely even Coca-Cola would have gone just say you're mixing it with Pepsi All right. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Yeah. I look at the end of the day This is a we're at rampantly capitalist society and every inch of your life is to be marketed and you try and make as much money From it as you try to make money where you can look I'm gonna get shit for doing this game show people are gonna Give me shit, but I like man. I like game shows. I watch game shows. I hosted a game show I'm looking forward to it

It's very hard to have any fucking I mean, what are you meant to do with stand-up? Yeah, if you want to be a really cool stand-up ultimately You just do the work and you make money from your fans and you keep putting out good stuff for them and then you go away Yeah, but we don't live in that world anymore Everyone's knocking on your face fucking constantly and we used to be able to duck off for a couple of years. We wish we could do that. And then come back and go, I got a new set and I've been thinking of things and I went off and thought of it.

You can be artists. We used to be able to be artists. And now we're just like, content, content, content, content. You've got to put something out. You've got to put something out. The only reason we're talking now is more content. I know. Listen, we're trapped into the cycle. It's horrible. You've at least got... I'm trying to grow. A best friend of mine in comedy, we were talking about this the other day, if I knew what this was going to entail, stand up today,

I would not have gone through with it. And what job would have you done? I don't fucking know. I would have just carried on with law. Worked in the Audi dealership? I would have been a very... When did you start wearing an Audi top? Didn't I tell you the story of this Audi top? No. You look like the harmful... like the helpful Honda people in their effort.

The harmful Audi guy. I'll tell you what happened for this Audi top. I bought a secondhand Audi from a dealership. Do you remember this? Yeah, I remember that. And it was like six grand.. Yeah and you're like, come on I gotta get something. Who would have believed that the Audi Q5 blew up literally two weeks afterwards and I went in there asking that I've been sold a lemon. Yeah. That I was like, I want the six grand back and I just kept going back and they were like, sorry mate, you know the lemon law, let the buy be where

it was sold as is. And I kicked up such a stink about suing them and they wouldn't give me anything and I managed to only get this Audi pullover golf sweater was my payment. They were like there's no legal recourse whatsoever and I said well at least give me that fucking sweater and I got this sweater and a pair of old roof racks from another Audi Q5 Why do you wear that? That would remind me of a shit decision. It was my fault. Every time I would see myself in that I'd go, that was when I got ripped off.

I did get ripped off, but I fuck it. This is all I've got for that six thousand dollars I put into an Audi Q5 and now I have a Volkswagen Which is far more reliable. All right. I want to talk to you quickly about something that happened to me this week It was Easter. All right, and I got into an argument with my wife. Tell me what you think about this one All right, so my wife she was in the right I'm just guessing. No, no, I don't she was. My wife was in a bad mood I guess and and... Secretly or just... I have my theories. I think she was in a bad mood that more common for women than... I don't want to get into it but I think it might happen again in a month. Right?

Anyway so so my wife was in a bad mood and Easter Sunday was coming up and I was like, with my kid, I was like, God, Easter bunny's coming. Easter bunny's gonna come. Like this, right? And she went, we're not doing that. And I'm like, why wouldn't we? What do you mean we're not doing that? She wanted the kids to focus on the true meaning of Jesus's death, pain, and rising.

We're not religious. And I said, and she goes, I go, he gets eggs like every other kid. And she goes. She pulls out nails and a hammer and goes, we're going to teach them the real lesson. Yeah, she's like, of course he gets eggs, but they're not coming from the Easter Bunny. Now kids, if you're listening, the Easter Bunny's real, right? And she goes, and, but she was saying the Easter Bunny wasn't invited to our house. She said. I'm sorry, but like, why she was saying the Easter Bunny wasn't invited to our house. She said-

I'm sorry, but like, why? Exactly! That's what I said. I went, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? Of course the fuck it, Easter Bunny's going. Did she say that Santa Claus comes? I said Santa, and she goes, I like Santa.

Right? And then I went, okay, okay, okay, so you like Santa good? Easter Bunny bad? Let's get her some psychoanalysis. What happened to Taisy as a child with the bunny? She claims she claims that Easter Bunny isn't a thing in England. That's nonsense. Yeah I was watching the Premier League all weekend and they're like hope the kiddies out there have had good feed of chocolates eggs from the bunny. Yeah, no. Paul McCartney, the most famous English person living, posted a picture of him dressed as the Easter bunny

on his Instagram. He said, I hope you had a bonniful Easter. I think your wife was raised by parents who missed one year and then carried on a lie. The first thing I did was I text Jimmy Carr, our most English friend, right? Most English person we know. Wears a three-piece suit everywhere he goes, well maybe two pieces. Keeps invading places. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a pretty, he's a

quintessential English dude. Puts a tax on tea. And I said, just having a debate with the wife. Is the Easter Bunny a thing in England? He goes, well it's a thing, yes, of course, yes. It's not massive, but it's definitely a thing. Looks like he's visited your house one too many times, Jim. You fat cunt! So he goes, yes, of course it's a thing. And I was like, alright, of course it's a thing. So I said, my wife goes, it's one of those American things. Right? And I said, well, that's good, because we live in America. Yeah. And I said, we celebrate 4th of July.

We celebrate Thanksgiving. And first, I know I wasn't sold on this. The Easter Bunny didn't exist. Right? I think it's a thing that her family didn't really do. And she goes, maybe they do it now, because the country's been Americanized or something. You're like, what are you fucking talking about man?

Well it's not like Halloween which is only just kind of- Halloween? She loves. Nah, she's fucking all over the map. She's all over the map. Halloween's the most American of them all. I love you Tazey, you're well off. Nah, she's wrong on this one. She's wrong on this one. Okay, so I'm sure you handed it well. Ah yes, I overreacted.

So let's play it out. I took one sip. We don't do it here. We're doing it. I'd rather not. Well, we're going to do it. Oh, we don't do it here. This is from your wife's perspective. You have gone, yeah? Yeah?

Well, I'll find the most famous person from your country who will also call you a dumb fuck. Well, see, this is the thing. That's like if you and your wife have an argument and she goes, I'm gonna get Chris Hemsworth to call you out. She goes, when I was a child, we didn't do the Easter party. And I was like this, well good,

because he's the one who's the child right now. We're creating new memories. The child can enjoy it. Anyway, she came around, she's just in a awkward mood. But it was one of our biggest arguments we've ever had over the fucking Easter bunny. What else is really at play there? It seems to me, if we look at it,

is she feeling some vitriol about America right now? I think it was that she didn't want to wake up in the morning and hide eggs or anything like that. Is it because of the chocolate shit? Yeah, I think it was just, are we going to watch TV? But anyway, so then to stir it up a little bit more, me and Hank throw on the movie Hop, right? Which is about James Marsden and Russell Brand. Yeah, this is the whole thing. And the Easter Bunny is voiced by Russell Brand.

And the Easter Bunny's dad is voiced by Hugh Laurie. And it's like, and I'm like this, see that son I'm talking to, the three-year-old, the Easter Bunny is from England. He's English. Why am I doing this? I'm a bunny. Why am I doing this? Why am I trying to upset someone? Because this is what we do. And you'll do it every Easter for the rest of your marriage.

And I said, if you find me one place on the internet that says the Easter Bunny doesn't exist in England, have at it. Have at it. And then I was, I was, I was, because I was so good at the argument, right? I was, I was clearly calming things down and making, and defusing the situation. I wasn't making the situation worse when I was like, right, Wikipedia! The Easter Bunny originated in Germany, which is nearer to England than it is here to America. It was in England before it was in America. It didn't help the situation. And she didn't...

No, she didn't respond to that. She didn't respond to logic? Yeah, no, no. She didn't hear that and think to herself, he's a loving man, our relationship's in perfect situation. I think usually approaching disagreements as a zero-sum game is very good for romance. Why did I- what- but you know when you have an argument, why did I dig my heels in? Well, I should have just gone like this,

Okay, we won't have the Easter Bunny, and then just gone, Hey, the Easter Bunny gave you some chocolates. I had a similar one. In the end, we had the Easter Bunny, and he fucking loved it. Of course he did, he got free chocolate my girlfriend does a weird one We were in Chicago with all her siblings. Yes, and my girlfriend's 27 now Oh and time time to upgrade time to move on. Yeah, but she's got a brother who's 19 Oh, you could date him. Oh too old

and 19 and the sister was 35. Oh too old. And another brother who's 30 and she made us do an Easter egg hunt where they get plastic eggs. Yeah yeah yeah that was one of the things the wife goes they put plastic eggs in the yard and she doesn't like the plastic. I said yeah just give me. In Australia we just put chocolate eggs everywhere but they do plastic egg then they fill it with other candies cheaper candies and whatnot yeah and then they put a hundred dollars in one of the eggs. Yeah. They spread it out across their house and then my girlfriend kept being like, let's do the egg hunt. And I just kept saying to her, are you fucking?

No I don't want to do an egg hunt. I'm 33 years old. She's like, it's fun. We've been doing it forever. I'm like, you're 27. This is a massive turn off for me. And even her parents were like, why are you making him do the egg? And then she was going, get into it. why would you get into it I'm not gonna get

into it she goes everyone else is doing it and everyone in her family but gradually was like we keep up traditions for Annika and I just thought to myself I need to put a fucking baby in this one. Oh so she's the one who keeps it going so even the 19 year olds. He's like, oh, yeah. And then you find the 100. It's because my girlfriend needs a baby in her. It's just as simple as it gets. Send her over. I'll fix it.

Because we heard about your clumpy scum. Your clumpy scum. My clumpy, you know what else happened to me? I'm going to get into my next topic about fertility. Before I do that. I love how you bring notes. The middle, well, I have got to keep this on track. Forrest told me to rein you in. My girlfriend's sister Caroline brought

the boyfriend home for the first time. And as long as I've been in the family I'm the only guy that's been around. And who's the new boyfriend? Who's he shown up? He must have shown up and been difficult. He's turned up and he was so American. He's 25. He's like bro. He works in finance as a consultant. He looks great. Stock market's gonna be fine. It's gonna readjust. It's gonna readjust. My girlfriend's father is a businessman. They're chatting tariff. I'm trying to get my nose in there and I've got no idea what I'm discussing as they talk about derivatives and whatnot. He golfs better than me.

Of course. So that was a struggle on the weekend. And then I find out he's a hunter and we went out the back and shot trap. You know, they the clay targets. Oh, yes. They have one of these machines the family and I get a shotgun. I thought it was a type of fish. I thought it was a type of immigrant group and

I missed every, I mean, I hit one of 10 and this guy hit 10 of 10. And there's just a feeling when this new guy's there, he's a consultant, he's handsome, he's got a job. Yeah, but get him to do stand up for five minutes and then see what he's got. But I wasn't particularly bringing a lot of humor either. His stories were good at the table. He's hitting the targets. And I immediately, as you're sort of out Alfred in that moment I did see how work beta male politics works because I started being like I don't

agree with guns. But that was my way of dealing with it. Not much of a shooter. Just don't need violence. What do you need a gun for? What would you shoot for? I'm from Australia. Oh so you're saying you're saying that rather because he outmatched you, you pussied up So so because he was better than me at golf and it should be like this gulfs for the rich, isn't it? Yeah, I prefer sort of street sports like soccer that the whole world can play the thing with golf is you know what I mean? It takes you know a long time out of your day. I'd rather be with my girlfriend Yeah, exactly and a lot of the clubs are really sexist, you know

Yeah, and also all that land think of how we could house the homeless. Yeah. So what do you like about golf clubs? Was it the fact that they kept Jews out? Yeah. That was me. That's what you said. So you learn to shoot.

So you go away on hunting trips. You get an erection when you hurt a small animal there. Mm. And in that exact moment, I learned. Did you actually say that to him? No. But I did do a lot of... he kept laughing. Like, Anton the Dad was like,

Holy shit! If an intruder breaks into Anika's house, Amos is gonna do fuck all! Yeah? You're not gonna protect my daughter! And I had to be like, well... I tell you what, he'll trip over the fucking Easter eggs I didn't pick up. It'll be like Home Alone. So I just stewed on it, and I immediately took this sort of beta male stance of... So does Anton, and I know Anton, your father-in-law of sorts,

so does Anton, does he like the new boy more? Have you been dethroned? Because you used to be the fresh bit of meat in the house. No, I've absolutely been dethroned and you get to a position when you've been with, I've been with this family for two or three years now and now it's no longer like, hey we've been cooking you something, sit down we want you to try this German dish. Now it's like, there's dishes. Pull your fucking weight around here. Yeah.

Yeah. You're fat. How come you're not famous? Wait, wait, wait, wait, you get called fat and unfamous? No, that's my projection but that's what I think they're thinking. Oh, see, they've never actually said you're fat and unfamous. And don't be upset that they're talking behind your back. I'm sure they are, because I sleep. Because it would take too much fuel to drive around your front, what with being as fat as you are.

Because I sleep in. I used to wake up and go for their morning German walks, and now I've started to sleep through it. What do you mean the morning German walks? You know they love to hike the Germans. Who wants the goose step? Well I got bad hamstrings so I can never keep up. Yeah they're not walks, they're marches. I had to borrow some of their boots. But yeah man it was like it's interesting when a new guy comes just because men we are very competitive and he was a nice He was a nice guy and you are also like it's good to have another dude join, you know when yes How old is he again? He's 25 25. You should be able to dominate this man in every way Not physically anymore. You're too old. He was a state wrestler at his college How tall is he and he doesn't even have the fucked up ears. I was hoping when I heard he was a good wrestler

Yeah, but he loved those ugly ears. He didn't even have those They wear those things over the top to stop the years Cuz like is he taller than your wife's sister doesn't have a partner she does she's married Yeah, I went to my wife's sister's marriage Wedding it was the same weekend the Queen died I remember it distinctly because the Queen died and And I also I went there just for a weekend. I met up with a couple of friends. I went to a dinner and I went to the wedding. And then the wedding, the Queen had died and

I had to come back for gigs. But there was no planes that were to fly over the top of the Queen's funeral. So I was stuck in England. You know what bothered me about it? Surely there were people who I need to get on an airplane, my grandmother's on a deathbed. I had to rush home from my mother being on a deathbed, right? You'll do this in your life. Most people have to do this. Most people have to rush home for someone on their deadbed. But if your mum died, is she part of any royal bloodline?

Who gives a fuck, mate? That's the whole thing. The fact that we weren't allowed to have planes take off in the UK because there's an old woman died, didn't she? Right? So she, speaking of old people dying. planes take off in the UK because there's an old woman died, didn't she? Right. So she was speaking of old people dying. Speak. Oh, don't you, don't you try and do fucking segues segues.

Oh, another thing. Point. This was the thing. So we're at the, we're at the wedding. We come out. There was to be no confetti. You weren't allowed to throw confetti on the day after the queen died. Cause it was a celebration.

We're meant to be. Yeah. We're meant to be mourning all weekend. That's some North Korean shit right there. There was no celebrationary stuff to go on because the country was in mourning because the Queen had died. No, confetti was banned on that day and they told us no confetti. Now I'm a bit skeptical. I think the cunt who has to clean up the confetti was like this.

The Queen said, no confetti. Now you all got that memo didn't you about no confetti? Yeah no no confetti. It's a kind of a thing to sweep up. And also you have to take out own trash. Yeah take out own trash and also you have to leave a slab of of Stella Artois on the stairs. As an offering. As an offering to the Queen. To the Queen. To the Queen!

So my mother was a bit, my mother was a huge monarchist. Just before you go there though. She was actually, she only liked the monarchy a little bit. She was just massive. Anyway, so my mother was a huge, okay you go on with your. No, I just wanted to ask you if, you know, well you don't, don't you? Because you're an international famous and wealthy comedian. I'll tell you my sister-in-law... Do you ever feel at the dinner table like, oh this guy's got me tonight?

Well he... Okay, this is the thing, so my sister-in-law who I'm fond of, I like my sister-in-law, right? My sister-in-law has a husband, great guy, really sweet guy, right? They both met when they were teenagers doing stand-up comedy. They did like a stand-up comedy course or something like that. So I, I, and, and, yeah, so I'm the clay pigeon shooting guy, right? That's what I'm saying. That's brutal. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't, yeah, he, he wanted to be a star. He actually does well. He works in computers, I believe. She's a sitcom writer for the BBC. She's very successful writing sitcoms. And they're a fun couple. When they walk out of church music't it interesting? Fun stuff.

And both their speeches were bangers at their wedding. So they're funny people. But I didn't really see that before the wedding because, you know, I think maybe me being who I am might have overshadowed that a little bit. I had this feeling when you meet them immediately where you're like, oh, this guy who's met my girlfriend's sister on the dating app and they've been together for a few months now you're like I may spend the rest of my life seeing this guy at Christmas. This is the whole thing you meet these people it's like he better be he better be a good boy. You marry the family right

you always marry the family which would always made it tough for me growing up because you know my mother was a painful human being that was okay so I was gonna say my mother big monarchist loved, loved the queen, loved the queen more than anything in the whole wide world. Favorite person on earth was the queen, right? My mother had, there was a woman in Australia called Ida Buttruss, which you'll know who Ida Buttruss is. Of course I know Ida.

Ida Buttruss is a lady who is maybe a little bit, how about Martha Stewart? That would be a good- Well she ran like the equivalent of... Woman's Day or something. Cosmo magazine. Yeah she was an editor of a magazine. Vogue. Anna Wintour maybe. Yes, yes. More towards that. But she also brought out a book on etiquette. Right?

She had a book on wedding etiquette which my mother bought before my brother got married. Which is basically a Karen Protocol etiquette which my mother bought before my brother got married. Which is basically a Karen protocol etiquette book. Oh this is the this this is the cuntiest book you've ever fucking seen right I think it was like white with like a rose and I'm just thinking about what like dude an etiquette guide is basically if you write an etiquette book this is you saying from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep I'll tell you how you fucking act. Yeah yeah yeah. You'll be exactly as I say. An etiquette book is this is what I need you to do for me to put up with you. It's the most OCD thing in the world. Oh arrogance. To say here's a guide in every social scenario how you better act or I'm gonna be twitching at the eye and kicking you

out of my fucking house. So my mother had my brother got engaged and married quite young 21, 22 engaged at 21 married at 22 right and my mother had bought the Ida Butrus etiquette guide to weddings and we were going to follow this whether we fucking liked it or not right and there was things that I had to sing because I was at that stage in the school musicals I had to sing something at the fucking wedding which I was was like, oh, God. But then there was a bit that, during the speeches, the groomsman goes first and he is always to compliment the bridesmaids and the bridesmaids are always to lift up their hand and wave and like this type of rubbish, old English shit, right?

And then the father of the groom who has nothing to do, right? This kind of has nothing to do. Historically doesn't even have to pay for anything. He just has to show up, right? He doesn't have to walk anyone down the aisle. He's the father of the groom. Brilliant. Bucks party.

I'm over the moon. I'll be the father of grooms. And if either of my sons are gay, then hopefully they'll be the... So'm over the moon. I'll be the father of grooms and if either of my sons are gay then hopefully they'll be the... Hey, so father of the groom. Anyway, so my mother found in the book that the father of the groom is meant to toast the queen.

Right? In a room, and also such a risky ask because it's like the whole room's not monarchists. There's some people who avidly dislike the royal family now. He was getting married to a Irish Republican, which no No, she's not against etiquette. She he was getting married to My sister-in-law who I've known since I was 13 years old, right? They've been dating for a long time and she's she's Australian Danish descent, right? It's like even the date, you know what I mean? So, so, so my father, I remember thinking, geez, dad's not gonna like this.

I was only a young kid. I was like 16 or something like that. And I was like, fucking, dad's not gonna be happy about this, like this, right? And all he had to stand up was, and stand up and say, to the queen. And lift his glass up like this, right? Yeah. All right, and now someone like the MC, the Minister of Ceremonies,

which you know, right, is that what it means? Master, Master, we see MCs my whole career. The Master of Ceremonies, the MC, the MC stands up and goes, and now the father of the groom would like to make a taste. And my dad, fair dinkum, he didn't get all the way out of his chair, he just went this, look at me. Poor fellow. Oh yeah.

It was pushed on him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although we still kind of do that now with a lot of modern weddings. There's always a really fabulous gay friend who's there. To the queen. Oh, do you have you seen To the Queen? Hi. But yeah, like Ida Butchers to the Queen. Anyway speaking of old people dying. Yeah okay we should actually get into what happened this week. We should talk about what's

happening at this moment. Number one the Queen died a while ago. I'm just giving us an edit option. Yeah. No you see. this out. This is all shit speaking it speaking of death. The Pope is dead. The Pope's dead He met he met JD Vance one day Yeah, the next day he was dead Next day he was dead and JD Vance was like this. It's good to see you Up and about again, you know what? I like his last moments of breath his last words with JD Vance bowed again. You know what I like? It's like his last moments of breath. His last moments of breath with JD Vance. You know what I liked is you know all the popes

throughout my life have ridden around the Pope Mobile covered with plastic as there was a Trevor Cook used to say he looked like a big tic-tac. Yeah. Right it was a Trevor Cook joke that he looked like a big tic-tac. But he's always in the Pope Mobile and then you saw the Pope at the end there and he was just, he was JFKing it. He was just like, leave me in the open air, bring children up to me. And I'll pat them on the head.

Because if you were going to assassinate the Pope in that last little bit, you were wasted aboard. Well, they're not allowed euthanasia. So it's like, I'll just put myself in the position. They are allowed euthanasia, they're who make our phones. Not anymore. He's 88 years of age. What's he talking about? Jack, was that joke acceptable?

They are allowed euthanasia, that's it. All right, keep it in. I just said not anymore because of the tariffs, which they've actually caved on because they realize the phone might be nine and a half thousand dollars. No, no, they had to cave in the tariffs of the phones because it's like we don't have the technology or the children to make them. So Pope Francis was 88 years of age, born in Bortaseris. Here's a good one, worked as a bouncer. It's his first proper job, he was a janitor and he worked as a bouncer. For what club? I don't know which bar exactly. The Pope Inn? I haven't been down there to... Pop in.

He is the 266th Pope. I don't know which bar exactly. The Pope Inn? I haven't been down there to... Pop in. The Pope Inn. He is the 266th Pope. Okay, I believe I've had three Popes in my lifetime, right? I might be wrong, right? When was John Paul II? He died... I know he died, but when did he start? I think I've had three Popes in me life.

Pope John Paul died when I was in grey, like it must have been like 2005. No, but what was the start of his reign? Is it called a reign? His papacy. His papacy. John Paul II, because when they came they all chanted John Paul II, we love you. 2005, when did he start? He began in 1978 until 2005. Okay, so it turns out I've actually had four popes. There was another bloke in 1977 because I was alive in 1977. So really in my lifetime I've actually had four popes there was another bloke in 1977 because I was alive in

1977 but so really in my lifetime I've had the three popes that I can remember All right, and John Paul II who was it who was a goalkeeper for Poland? Did you know that well that was his position? He was a goalkeeper. He was a professional goalkeeper John Paul II yeah, I just knew he was in Poland in communism. I didn't know he was goalkeeper. He was a goalkeeper. But how good though is what I'm saying? Check out how good a goalkeeper John Paul II was. Because I thought he played for Poland but he might have just played for a domestic club. He might have played for Warsaw or something like that or Krakow. He was calledolleck the goalie in his youth.

Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think he played. Pope John Paul was also known for his love of skiing, hiking and other sports. I did know about Pope John Paul. He was one of the most athletic physiques when they came in there and he had trouble getting into the robes because they had a lot of portly fellows, like it didn't fit him well.

Yeah, yeah. He was alright. So John Paul too, he lasted forever. Then we had the Nazi in the middle. He wasn't long. Ratz Yeah, yeah, he was all right. So John Paul II, he lasted forever. Then we had the Nazi in the middle. He wasn't long. Ratzinger? Yeah, he wasn't. Well, Ratzinger was there for a while.

He was a Hitler youth. 10 years did we get out of him? No, I think maybe even less. 2005 until 2013. So less. Yeah, less. Less, all right. So we got a little burst of him.

And then he had to resign. And then Pope Francis came in. And it was a progressive overhaul of the church, which made a lot of people very, he was very divisive by the end. This last Pope was my favourite because he was, oh I tell you what, I was at the bank, I was at the bank and I will quote the lady in front of me at the bank, she goes up to the counter, old person, right, walks up to the counter and the lady behind the counter says hello, how are you today? And she goes, I'm not doing good, sweetie.

I'm very upset about the pulp. And I'm Jewish. Yeah. That's what she said. He was an environmentalist. Yeah, yeah. He blessed the gays without giving them marriage. He was all right with the gays.

He didn't condemn them to hell. Yeah. So I appreciate that. You know the other thing about him was that this whole thing of which I always laughed at was they loved the fact that when he got in he washed the feet of people right. This is a big thing they go he washed 12 prisoners feet and I understand that some like Jesus thing about washing the feet. I don't even like a foot massage. I can't think of a weirder thing because this would have been oppressed to her and they're like the Pope's gonna wash your feet. You'd go I'm all right well come on we need some people who want to get their feet washed. Take a back I'll take a theragun yeah yeah a back rub maybe. I would have taken in some nail polish and go I like this color. What you want him like a like a Vietnamese? Yeah yeah I want

him in there in one of those little foot baths. To a pedicure. And then he pushes back your thing on your nails then he makes sure you're right. I hate I've had a pedicure once I didn't like it. So I never understood that one because that must have been in the Jesus time people walked barefoot or sandals so washing the feet sort of meant something. In the modern era it's very symbolic I get it. He was a pope for the poor and the downtrodden and of late he had a lot of critique from, you know, MAGA people because he was always condemning the Trump administration about refugees and he was an open borders person.

Who do you suggest is a pope? Now, I think we go young. I want to have one more pope to see me out. Well, this is the thing about the- There's one more. Just give me a pope that's going to give us a good 30 years so I see me out. Well this is the thing about the... There's one more, just give me a pope that's going to give us a good 30 years so I see me out 35 years whatever. The difference between this and the election if you think about all this is I was reading about who the contenders are and they said if someone's young there goes against them because it means they're gonna have a long reign whereas

they want people near death so in case they're sort of not so good they only get a few years before they go. Why did you go all Croatiany? In case they're not so good. Not so good. Yeah. Yeah and so like if people it's basically it's like the US election where you'd have like a Biden because you'd go you'll have like five years and be dead. You know but if it's a 40 year old it's a reign and that's a long ass job. You've got to go until you die or there's you know it's proven that you've hidden pedophilic rings. But what, well, that's what my problem with them is, they're all, they've all.

Not all of them. No, no, no, they're not all pedophiles, but they have all turned a blind eye to, they haven't, they've all condoned and let it happen. They have, they've all got blood on their hands. They, they, they should have been a bigger inquest and they should have been fucking naming and shaming of the fucking pedophiles in the Catholic Church. This would be an interesting one because they tried to go... so Francis was a progressive pope, he tried to make it more modern and everyone I know who's gone back into Catholicism likes it to be way less modernized and more

ancient because if in my opinion if you go into the church... I know some people who believe in a pope from 400 years ago and they think that the last Pope's have been too much. Well, post Vatican II in the 60s where they sort of modernized everything. If I go as a once Catholic who dips my toe into the water here and there, I love... Do you believe in God? Yes. I love the custom of like Gregorian chanting. I like the Mass in Latin because I don't really want to focus on what's being said. I like it for the meditative, quiet place. What, when you're like, what, it make you,

help me, like, it calms you down. What, dude, when I go occasionally, I go on a- Why you sucking on a cock? With some friends to the Latin mass. You go there, it's quiet. It's beautiful. It's not beautiful. Oh, churches. You don't find churches beautiful?

Oh, churches make me. Not in America, they're fucking strip malls. Oh, I have been to, no, I've been to churches. I've been. You've got to Il Domo in Florence. You don't think there's some transcendent beauty. I have been to famous churches. I walked on the, we walked on the roof

of one in Milan the other day. Remember that? What was that one? It was another dome in Milan. And then you go inside and you're like this. Yeah, more like fucking clean these windows. They look all stained. Can't see out of the fucking things. Pointless. You've never once. Don't even put a window there. Just put a wall. You've never once wandered around medieval towns and thought, well this is maybe inspired. I don't need to see another church in my life. I've seen them all over the world.

They're fucking shit. And I know that as soon as I walk in I think bad shit's gone down in this room. In this room a child's been molested. Bad shit's gone down in this room. And how do you feel when you go to the movie studios you work at? What do you think's happened there? I think... Good vibes?

Yeah, well yeah, but they've never paid me to go into a church. How about at the gyms at schools? Why am I going into the gyms at schools? I'll tell you my memories of the changing rooms at school wasn't exciting. My pubes were one of the last ones to come in. I wasn't over the moon about getting changed in that room. That was a terrible bit of your childhood. I did have that.

I remember that. Like you would have been one of those hairy kids at 12, right? Where you would have just been... No, I was actually... The Croatians are not that hairy, unfortunately. When did this happen? We're not hairy. Look at us. Have you... I've met your mum. Yeah. You think my mum's hairy? I've met your mum. I'm You think my mum's Harry? I've

met your mum. I'm just waiting for someone to get a nice photo of her so we can all agree that Bigfoot's real. Oh come on now. You can't say my mum's both a MILF that you've fucked and Bigfoot. No I like your mum. Let's find one attack line on my mother. Hey trots, trots if you're listening, I'm sorry for what I said. And if you want to respond in a video and put your hoof down three times, I'll take that as a thank you. So this Pope chose not to live in, there isn't a palace. Have you ever been to the Vatican? I've been to the Vatican, I've seen the Sistine Chapel.

It's funny, I'll tell you a quick story. So my parents, my father proposed to my mother sitting in the gutter out the front of the Vatican, right? In the Vatican. And I'll reenact what I think happened. So we've been traveling a bit and we should just stay together or we could be married. Okay, Gary. Did he have the ring?

I don't know. But I don't think it was anyways, he proposed to her in the gutter outside of the Vatican. You'd want to try the tomatoes here as well, by the way. This is the thing. So my mother's telling me this story. We're sitting out the front of the Vatican and your father, he doesn't even get on one knee. We're just sitting there and he just asked me then. That's what he just asked me. And he goes, and dad doesn't remember. He's like, where where were we and he goes out the front of the Vatican Gary the Vatican the Sistine Chapel he goes it had that place over the road that sold the very thin pizzas that's how he remembered it as That's how he remembered it. It was all the lovely thin pizzas. People find God in their own places, Jim.

There's beauty in a nice thin crust Roma pizza. But when you went there, you may notice there is like these apostolic palace or whatever it's called, where a lot of the popes have been. And then this bloke in his shtick as the man of the people, he stayed in like a one or two bedroom sort of average apartment. Do you think the next one feels the pressure to stay poor or is like, I'll be moving the bed into the Sistine Chapel

and the tourists around? I think you wanna live in the Sistine Chapel, right? You wanna live at the Vatican. The Vatican's its own country, right? So you wanna live, you're the king of the country. But it's like a full town. You're the king of the country right. Yeah but you're meant to be this sort of shepherd. Oh please have you been into those churches all the gold. That's what I'm saying but Francis was like he turned his back on that. Whereas

I think the next one's gonna bling out massively. Get all the stolen art, you know all the artwork. I reckon they bring back the big ornate crosses, maybe get a grill, something that says Pope. Oh yeah. Yeah a bit of fun. Well did you know anyone who is a baptized Catholic can go in the running. I reckon the Pope hats, I reckon the Pope hats or even the Yarmulkes for the Jewish people, I reckon that was just a bloke who was going bald, who was just like and and and God wants us to wear hats just at the back. Just on the back bit.

That's what he's asked. There we go. Why, you don't like that? No, no, I just like letting you have an out. I think that's very funny. No, okay, so- I stand by that joke. Go fuck yourself.

And if you're sitting in your car at home, I hope you enjoyed it. I was reading about- You're sitting in your car at home, I hope you enjoyed it. I was reading about- You're sitting in your car at home. About to commit suicide. And you got the garage shut. If you're sitting at home listening to this, that makes sense actually why you're doing that. I tried to top myself the other day.

I started the car in the garage and left the garage door shut. Fucking Tesla. Very good. I was just waiting for it to catch on fire. The betting odds. On next Pope. Oh, I thought you were for it to catch on fire. The betting odds. Yeah. On next pope. Oh I thought you're gonna go the NBA finals. Okay let's go next pope. Lewis Tagel, Pietro Parolin. I'm just gonna get you to pick one randomly

without any... Mark Olivet. Give me the odds and I'll put some money on. Well we're not to do it. I mean this is that's sort of anti--theft that's very sacrilege isn't it? I don't believe in God This is open slather for me. Okay, if you want me to be it's like when I watch the Super Bowl I don't watch a lot of American football. So I like to get you involved. All right What's the movie him I'll read you the contestants you like that. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. So next Pope odds one of them is a You like that? Yeah, go on. Okay, here we go. So next, Pope Odds. One of them is a couple of African fellows. Oh, I mean, I mean.

African Pope's. But they're the super conservative ones, you see. Why are they so conservative? Have you ever spoken to an African dad? I have, yes. What do you think? You think they're super progressive woke over there? Well, it's not like I've ever been dating one of their daughters in Africa and then

he's come up to me and said, hey, this is... There was some talk in the last paper about MSXBets. Don't do the voice. I can't do their voice. I know a few things about the world at the moment and don't do the voice. Look, mate, you're on Fox now. I tell you, don't do the voice. Okay mate, you're on Fox now. I'll tell you, don't do the voice. Okay, here's the front runners.

Okay, you can tell us who. There's Luiz Antonio Tagle. He's Italian. He's actually a Filipino. Oh! 67 years of age considered a strong contender. We haven't had an Asian Pope, have we? We have not. Ah, Asian Pope versus

African. Look, look, look, I know diversity hiring has gone crazy and everyone gets angry with it, but I think for the Pope, I think we go diversity. I think if we had anything but white. No, we may have had some Italians. Old history. Was there a black pope? I don't think so. But for the most part, they've all been white guys. Yeah

it's used and we haven't had an Aussie mate. Have we had a woman? Well no. We're not ready for that we're not ready for that. Let's go Filipino or an African. So you got Filipino, you've got Pietro Parolin from Italy. Italy. Peter Turkson from Ghana. Peter Turkson? Peter Turkson sounds like he's from Geelong. I'd like an Aussie WOG Like a hardcore like Aussie Italian is like this I just think the church needs to move forward but also remain the same bro Look, this is the thing about the church like fucking let's be let's more another Christmas

Let's find a like another celebration where you get presents and shit. Two Christmases. Two Christmases. Two Christmases and then Easter, let's bring back Easter Monday. And you know it's not about America, in Australia you won't know this Americans, but in Australia we get Monday off work as well. I know. We get Monday off. I couldn't believe I didn't get that.

Yeah, Easter Monday. You guys don't have Easter Monday. You get two weeks holiday of the year, the rest of the world gets four, the Germans get eight, I think the French get like six, and you guys get two weeks holiday a year and they've taken Easter Monday off you. They're fucking cunts. It's how the Americans don't uprise every now and again about the two weeks holiday. If I was a working bloke who just had a proper job and I found out that the rest of the world had basically four weeks paid holiday versus your two weeks, I would be fuming. Well, it's because of that they're uncompetitive

and that's why America's number one is because they grind us into the ground. Then stop buying all of our stuff. Yeah, those pussies over there in Europe, they get time off for a vacation and that's why we don't make anything here, but that's why they're failing. That's why we actually we don't make anything here but that's why they're failing that's why we're number one that's why that's why I work myself to an early grave and I get cancer in my ass no but I know that's

poison and then no one pays me for it I always I always thought part of the deal was but you got extra things you got 4th of July you got Thanksgiving so you got these extra things added on top that's sort of made up for a bit and you're taking away Easter Monday, you cunts. In a very religious society, I thought we would have more time to reflect on Jesus' sacrifice. But they have the Easter bunny wearing Australia in him and we do not. I did think in there, so the conclave, I don't know if you watched the movie, you've got very bored by it.

I watched it on a plane. But obviously, so the Cardinals do a vote and they needed two thirds majority. Yeah, it's such a proxy. They put it in and then they burn things. What would you think of this? What would you think if there's 1.37 billion Catholics out there? No, that's too many. Wouldn't you enjoy, just for one time, if they did a Pope election the way we do a US

election and they had debates, attack videos and the candidates tried to get us to vote at parishes. Why can't we see debates? Well it's all done privately. Yeah but why can't the people, we have to follow this person, the Catholics have to follow the person, why can't they see like at least a mission statement? Well I mean listen I'll give you a more left-wing perspective of this. Are you happy with the outcome of most elections currently? Oh, no, no, no. The pope was rigged. I'm going to storm the Vatican.

Because if if it was up for a lecture, there would be some chancer priest. It's just like, if you vote for me, all the art, I'm giving it away. We're giving away the art we're letting we're letting priests we're gonna we're gonna drain the swamp drain the Vatican swamp drain the Vatican swamp yeah yeah no I think if there was a bloke who came in and said we're gonna get a populous priest we're gonna get all the pedophiles out and and priests are gonna be able to fuck because that's the reason that the pedophiles are there is because of the no fuck and they'd be

female priests yeah ah there's already female priests are there is because of the no fucking... And there'd be female priests. Yeah. Ah, there's already female priests isn't there? Yeah, not in the Catholic faith. Oh, not in the Catholic, what is wrong with Catholics? I was watching a documentary on JFK and that was like the big thing when he was running for election, we've never had a Catholic in the White House. Yeah, there was still like anti-Catholic sentiment when I was growing up because my grandmother was an Anglican and she was like, you one of those Catholics. Yeah isn't it weird? What a weird bigot. So in Australia we say H or we say H right? You say H or H? H. But you've heard people say H? Of course. Right? Hudson with a H right? H is meant to be how Catholics say the word H in Australia and the rest of it and so my mother would always go oh he said H like a Catholic that must have been upset. Well it's also

anti-Irish sentiment as well isn't it? They hate the Irish. I was a Croat so you've got to be Catholic. I don't hate anyone man, I don't know why you hate so many people. Who do I hate? I feel like I'm full of love. Do the voice. Which one? When do you start putting stickers in your car? Isn't it enough that you have magnets in your fridge and you put the Johnny Cash one up there just to stir me up? I did put it there to stir you up.

You put it up there just to stir me up. I got on... Jim hates Johnny Cash. I got on at the Ryman. I got out of the Johnny Cash room and I started off by saying Johnny Cash is shit. And Jack, did I get some booze to begin with? Oh yeah, I thought it was incredible. But I won him round.

I won him round. Oh yeah. Like standing up at the Ryman, the Grand Ole Opry, and saying Johnny Cash is shit, and here's my reasoning, it was a tough call, because it could have ruined the whole gig. At least Johnny Cash didn't bloody do a game show. He's a bloody artist, mate.

Oh, Johnny Cash was too busy. I don't know how to do a game show. He would a bloody artist, mate. Oh, Johnny Cash was too busy. I don't know how to do a game show. He would have done a fucking game show if he got off. My name is Johnny Cash, and welcome to Jeopardy. Look, how many comedians have done game shows? I'll tell you all the comedians. Drew Carey's done a game show. I've done one.

There's two. I told you, Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey. Everyone who's ever done Family Feud all over the world. Bob Saget used to do funniest home videos. Bob Saget was the dirty comic who did a lot of clean cut things.

Full House was a clean cut thing. Look, mate, I'm not just a comedian, I'm an entertainer. You put me in front of things, I'll try to be entertaining. I'll try to be entertaining wherever you put me. Even now, I'm not being funny. Would we get an album? Look, I tell you what, I had an opportunity that I couldn't do because of a scheduling thing

to sing a Christmas carol on a TV show. So how many threats are you, do you think? Are you a double threat or a triple threat? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can do everything, but I'm not threatening. I'm four times unthreatening. Four times meek. Triple unthreat.

You give it a go. Yeah. I'm just, I'm not threatening. I'm like this. I'm like, I'll put that down. Put that down. So you got comedy? Comedy.

That's my best, right? Hosting? Hosting. I can TV host. You think you're a better host or actor? Put that down. So you got comedy? Comedy. That's my best, right? Hosting? Hosting, I can TV host. You think you're a better host or actor? Podcaster. No.

Podcaster. Actor. You've been going a long time at podcasting. I would be a better actor if I had more opportunities to act, but the problem with acting is they need you to be good right away. And I would like 10 major movies so I could get really good first I'd like you to lose a few billion on me, but I'll get the hang of it Oh, yeah, I'm about seven movies away from being excellent

So if any casting agents are out there call me I Forgot what we were talking about saying about my fucking the Pope stickers No, no, no Johnny Cash The Pope. Pope Johnny Cash. You said Johnny Cash wouldn't do it. We've already done a podcast. I know, but we've got something else. Okay, a couple other things I want to discuss because I feel like there's a lot to cut on account of my lack of quality.

I don't cut anything by the way. I know, nothing ever gets cut. Just the thing I just- Who wants this shit? I just cut the slurs and the things I've done. What? The slurs are the best bit. What am I- I can't believe I'm doing a non-slur based show. Who wants this shit? I just cut the slurs and the things like that. What? The slurs are the best bit.

What am I? I can't believe I'm doing a non-slur based show. Yeah, so he's going to cut all the slurs out. So this podcast will be down to six minutes. Okay so, the pronatalis movement, Jim. I'm not sure what you know about this. You know the bit to cut though, Jack, earlier. You got that bit.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, so he gets cuts. I'd like a lot cut for quality purposes on my behalf. No, I only I only cut career. I cut career savers. OK. Where was I? This is what I want to discuss with you from the beginning. I can't leave it to you.

Also, come out and see me in Chicago at the Vic Theatre coming up, because I'll be recording my special very soon. And May 2nd and 3rd, May 2nd and 3rd am I right Jack? Vegas, Las Vegas at the Plaza Hotel. Plaza Hotel, this is my first time, new gig for me, used to do it here from Casino, come and see me in Vegas ladies and gentlemen. That's always a fun one.

While we're doing that you can see me in Toronto, Tacoma, Spokane, Nashville. I'm excited about going to Nashville again. We're gonna build a thing in Potho-doh-doh-doh-doh. And Greenville and... what's that other place there? Charlotte. The big one. I really want to sell tickets to my recording of my special. That'll be sold out. And Las Vegas. Oh, the special's all but sold out. And it was rescheduled and everything. So the Pro-Natalist Movement is here to address what is a declining birth rate That'll be sold out. And Las Vegas. Oh, the specials orbit sold out. And it was rescheduled and everything.

So the pro-natalist movement is here to address what is a declining birth rate around the world. What do you mean? We've got too many people. We have too many people. We have too many old people but not enough people having children. And Japan. Is it Japan or Chinese to have the one child policy?

What are you talking about Amos? This seems all very weird to me. There's unfortunately going to be a really massively aged population. So the problem is we have too many old people and not enough little people to take care of the old people. But why is there a waiting list to get into all the private schools? Tell me more, Amos.

I have no idea about American private schools. It just feels like there's a lot of like, it's hard to get your kid into places. Like when I was a kid, you could get into any sports team and stuff like that. Now it's like, oh, there's a big waiting list for everything. Well in 2023, this is some data that's come out, 10.74 babies born per 1000 which was down another 2% and the average age of first-time mothers is now

27.5. Yeah, yeah that's older. That's much older than it used to be. When you were growing up, if a person had a kid, let's say at 20, would that be gossip or would that be, that's what's gonna happen? 20 would still be gossip. 22, 23 would just be like normal, right? Yes. Now there was a girl at my school who got knocked up. She left the school in year 10 or whatever like that and she got knocked up at like 16 or something. There's only one of them.

But She left the school in year 10 or whatever like that and she got knocked up in like 16 or something. There's only one of them But My mother had me at 35. I was her last child and from all accounts Everyone was like it's very old Hopefully he comes out. Okay, like they were panicking. I'm I wasn't a 50s with my siblings Yeah, but she didn't actually produce the egg She she had them put into she had put in still like and this is this is the thing then they call it a Jerry like over 35 they call it a geriatric pregnancy, which which

To whatever man named that great dig bro the old fossil slags Yeah, you're like a geriatric pregnancy is 35 and up. That's the medical term. Geriatric pregnancy. So it's like it's like it's like we can't believe someone even fucked you at that age. It's a true miracle. Yeah yeah like the eggs dry up when you become unfuckable, you see. We didn't know that you'd still be able to do it. Countries around the world are trying to address this and they've got different policies.

So Hungary gives you 30,000 euros if you have more than three. 500,000 yen lump sum now in Japan because the Japanese don't fuck. They just don't do it. They're out of their culture. Economically, they're struggling. They're also locked away in the sort of virtual reality world and they really don't like... No, we did a whole thing in the Jim Jeffries show about this. And we spoke about this as well on the podcast before. Now America, under Donald Trump, is having all of these discussions about how to get Americans to start having kids again

to address this. One thing that's been tossed around at the moment is a $5,000 US dollar baby bonus which doesn't seem to move the needle. The $30,000 one will make someone have a fourth kid. That'll make someone have a fourth kid because they'll get the $30,000 and then we'll figure it out. Or they've suggested things like the Soviet Union. But also what do we need people who are gamblers? You know what I mean? Like a bit of a bit of cash. Like, $30,000 doesn't go very far. And that's what you're having. Like, kids are expensive. Kids are really expensive.

Hot take. It cost a bit. Now, in Australia, we used to do this. And I remember there was a link between paying the baby bonus and the sale of flat screen televisions. Right. Which was people would get knocked up, then they would immediately get that cash

and just buy sort of consumer house goods Of course, which is was the flurry which by the way, maybe that helps address the tariff war This is all part of that plan which is we'll give you money have a kid and then buy some American made believe it that you just replace yourself, right? One so your wife gets one you get one. So I means you need to Yeah, I look I could have another one because I've had, you know, there's two women. So I, you know, I've got one in the bank if I want to. Right. But I've had the vasectomy so no more for me. kind of building in America talking about this topic. Right. And it's seen as some sort of like right wing movement now called the pro-natalist movement

and they had a convention on the weekend. I just wanted to play you a piece that I heard and get you to react to this. Okay. So this is called Natalcon. There's always some cons that are... Comic Con. Comic Con. This is Natalcon.

Have a listen to this. Life at a time. We're here at Natalcon, which is a gathering of about 200 people from all over the world who have come here because they all feel very strong. 200 people. That's not a big con. It's not a giant con. I love how she goes, 200 people from all over the world. Like, fucking like, like, like...

Canada. Look, look, I don't, I don't want to say it's a... One guy's from Brazil we think. I don't want to say it's a small amount of people, but it's a sold out show for Amos Gill. Well it certainly suggests that we need more people. If you go to Net... That's the problem.

All these people believe the world's underpopulated because their convention's so unpopular. Yeah, yeah. They're like, where is everyone? You people need to fuck! Yeah, yeah. They're just not here. They're just not here. They're wandering around like, there's no one here. Okay, so 200 people start again. Keep going. You're in a football game Strongly that the world needs more babies There's a civilization catastrophe coming and the way to solve it is to have sex like that's gotta be the easiest pitch in history

Birth rates around the world are flemining. All right, stop for a second The way to save it is to have sex. That's gotta be the easiest pitch in history. Yeah, but you know, like, okay, if they're offering for deadbeat dads, then it's not a bad deal. Well, it's a good ad campaign just to be like, lads, it feels better to leave it in. Yeah, like, that's not a bad deal.

If you just, like, I can have the kid with no consequence to my own, if I just have to help people have the kid with no consequence to my own if I just have to help people have the kid. Yeah well Elon Musk has been you know asking to inseminate all sorts of women in compounds. More of that fella. Okay here we go. The issue of our time. It's a massive conversation and that's why we're here.

We need to encourage more people to get married and have kids. We need those people to be the people of the future. Many countries are no longer having enough kids to replace their populations. Some experts predict this will cause labor shortages and inflation, permanently changing the economy. Which will result in sort of retirement homes becoming sweatshops. But also the world's...

No, we don't need more kids. We just need the old people dying earlier. Okay, so that's why we had COVID leak? Yeah, we just need... seriously though, I don't want old people to die. I'm not saying, hey old people, if you're listening right now, you should die. But the problem is that we... the world's too crowded. We don't have a fucking... housing's too... It's not crowded, we just all live in shit cities. Housing's too expensive. Housing's too expensive. It wasn't this expensive in the 90s and

stuff like that because there's supply and demand. People are demanding more houses. We have more people moving into the fucking cities because the old people aren't giving up their fucking places. And they have multiple homes and they have multiple homes. And they speculate on homes and houses have become investments instead of places to live. There is that. But what I always say to my conservative friends when they bang on all the time about the need for families and big families is I agree. However, what you need to do is make the economy viable that people feel like they can have

kids because how many people do I know my own age ago, I'd love to have kids, we just don't think we can do it financially That's a failed society if you if people who live in your society think they can't afford to have kids then you failed them flat You have one job really to live is to reproduce Okay, and you have some fun along the way and it's not for everyone but ultimately what we're an organism That's here to have kids you've had kids. I have it's been good for you. You've enjoyed having children I've enjoyed it. The highs are high, the lows are low. So, and I see a lot of people-

It's worth it. It's been worth it for me. I love my kids with everything. But you know what? You know what? I don't know if my kids are going to make me live longer or shorter. I used to do a joke ages ago, which is one of my better lines, which was, I love kids the same way I love cigarettes.

I like holding them for five minutes every hour, and the rest of the time I think about how they're killing me. And I don't think I've ever said anything more accurate because that's what you do. It's wonderful and you're like, oh this bloody thing. But you, this is the thing about you, you fucking love, like your son you watch his baseball games. That's the bare minimum Amos. No, no, no, no. Not just live.

You're watching it on your phone and you want to talk to everyone about your kids. And you love playing with your kids. And even just knowing you since you've had kids. Yeah, no, I'm an involved father. But also a better person for having children. You're a real cunt before is what I'm getting at here. It's just growing up though, isn't it? It's just a different phase of life.

Like you, I don't even know why you'd get up in the morning. Or what do you have during the day? No, but that's exactly what I was thinking about the other day. I watched these things about dinks. Do you know what a dink is? I'm busy. I have a family. Exactly.

You've got other things going on. A dink is a double income, no kids. Oh, everyone knows dinks. Double income, no kids. That was one of my mums. There are a couple of dinks. They're no good. They're just dinks. The dinks down the street, double income, no kids. It's like people will brag about like, we're dinks. Honestly, maybe this is just because I'm depressed.

You know what I think? But what, dude, what is life? Just think about this. People with kids don't give a fuck about people without kids getting divorced We don't care. We all talk about people who get divorced with that they go and my marriage is over Did you have kids? No, no one gives a fuck exactly. I'm really heartbroken right now. What a division of assets No, you probably didn't even own a house. You don't there is no division of assets. There's no nothing. It's the same as any breakup It's the same thing you take your stuff, I'll take my stuff. Goodbye. Kids is where it like you have to pay for this thing for the rest of your life. No, and then

when the arguments happen and all that stuff is like, no. But you see, like you see these double income, no kids people and they go, we just get to do as many fun things as we want. My wife wanted to divorce me over the Easter buddy, you know, it's not an easy marriage. You're not selling it to people. How many of these, like how many fun things are there to ultimately do? You get into your 30s, every year now I'm like this, it's that time again, I do this thing again, it's holidays, I've been to that place, been to this place, and I'm not fabulously wealthy, but I've had a pretty lucky life to go and do some cool things around the world. We've traveled around Europe together several times.

I'm fucking bored. I'm bored of it all. Like I'm ready to go experience the world through the eyes of a child now and not think about my happiness and my career at all fucking times. Oh I there's a group, there was a group of people that I know that work in the entertainment business and I saw them on Instagram the other day. And they're all, and I'll tell you who it is off the air, but they're all people my age who never had kids. And they were a whole big group of them.

And they all went to Disneyland, about 20 of them. Right? And they're all taking photos. And they were taking pictures of them on the river, like on the boat ride, stuff like this. And it's like, what are you doing? What are you, you're just making the line longer. It's also like, you're just out of stuff to do.

You're, yeah, yeah. But it's, but it's like, it's for kids. It's for kids. So I go to do them because it's good for my kids. And you're like, it's like, it's like I was into basketball, but then my son got into basketball and now I'm really into basketball because there's another thing to do with him. You know what I mean? You notice how like people, no one really grows up anymore and so like people in their 30s who don't have kids

like they go to Disneyland and they start they start video gaming more. Have you ever been on a Disney cruise and seen a couple on the cruise? I've been on a Disney cruise. I'm not a fucking freak, I'm an adult. Yeah yeah but without I've been with my kids and there's people without kids on the Disney cruise. I'm Timon, he's P adult. Yeah, yeah, but without I've been with my kids and there's people without kids on the Disney Cruise I'm tomorrow and he's Pumbaa. Yeah And wearing a t-shirt all my money goes to things Disney that my wife buys. I said that's a real t-shirt I know it's so and it's like if you just had kids you'd get to experience Disney again But it'd be far more wholesome, but you're trapped

Eternally as a child you You're meant to go kid, and then you walk away from those things. You wander through, you experience other elements of life. Then you have children and you re-experience the joy of your youth, both through the eyes of the new child, and through what you remember with nostalgia. You're not meant to just live in nostalgia forever.

You've, you're trapped. One of the beautiful things about having a child is that you, you know how you like TV shows? Yes. You have a show now that trapped. One of the beautiful things about having a child is that you you know how you like TV shows? Yes. You have a show now that you're going to watch for the rest of your life. There's a constant program that you'll be checking. What's happening

this season? They've been kicked out of school. You know what I mean? Like abortion is a pilot that didn't get off. Yeah. Abortion is my NBC show. Got, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. how to get people to have kids. What do you think of this one? We probably have to move. I think this is good. Okay. I think we should make it illegal. Okay, good. That was fun. To have dogs unless you have children. I used to do a joke about this about how people always have the dogs to begin with and then they go, oh, this is our baby. And then they have the actual kid. If you want a Labrador. A lot of them start ignoring the dogs. Not ignoring them, but the whole like... Fur baby. Yeah, you've stopped fur babying. Like I've got this thing that's so precious to me that's more precious than anything else. Like we have pets at home.

We love our pets, but they're not kids, man. So I think if you ban dogs... You wouldn't die for them. You wouldn't die for them. People use pets as like... I would die for my children without hesitation To save their life without hesitation would you yeah, I would I would I would of course I would yeah course was on what scenario I

Don't know what okay, so let's say I have to jump in front of a bus to push one of them away knowing that the bus Will hit me yeah, I would without hesitation. Never seen you jump but I get the point. I would physically do all I can do with this fucking grotesque fat fucking body of mine. You would. I'll tell you what. You would jump to push him and you would both die together. Yeah my knees are still intact. Right. But of course I would I would of course I would yes. If you made it illegal to have dogs dogs Yes, okay, and cat like just pets. Yes. Do you think people would feel so alone that they go? Oh fuck it? Let's have a family I'm being facetious, but kind of real. Yeah, there would be some people but I don't think it would fix the issue

I don't think it would be I don't know number one fix the economy so people feel like they can afford to have I don't Think it would take in a big way fix the economy so people feel like they can afford to have children. I don't think it would take in a big way. What? You think people just would not have dogs anymore? Getting rid of dogs. I'll tell you what I figured out about dogs in Argentina, right? Dogs are all wild in Iguazu, right?

They're all just homeless dogs everywhere, just wandering around. None of them fighting each other, right? When you walk a dog along with a lead and it sees another dog, it goes, and you've got to hold it back and they're trying to sniff each other's butts. When they're all just out in society and they're all hanging out, they're not amazed by seeing another dog, it goes, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR afraid of the world. This is what I was getting to. Get them to sniff each other. This is what I'm saying. It's like this holding holding things back and us all being in our little thing. If we get out in the wild that's why you see very little aggro at music festivals. I think that's more than MDMA. I know but. Dose up the dogs of MDMA. Alright we should finish I'll just play the rest of this clip because it was a

bit narrow like. Okay. Oh fuck. You bloody you pulled the cord out again. Always so weird. Malcolm and Simone Collins have four kids, soon to be five, and are some of the loudest advocates for pronatalism. What we've seen is pronatalism and demographic collapse have become the global warming of the right. Now these people are dressed like... Some of the first people who really recognize

the scale of the problem are major players in the White House right now. Amish. You know, like JD Vance and E. What savings go in? The problem is the people who have tons of kids are always the biggest cunts. Like the people who have 10 kids, 11 kids, they're fucking cunts.

So that's the problem. You can't, if you start having over five kids, you can't give them all the love and the attention they need. If you have over five kids, you cannot see, like this one has an interest in here and point them in the right direction. It's no you're not meant to have that many fucking kids. Well listen to this Brazilian guy. Natalcon helped double attendance for this year's event where the tickets cost a thousand dollars. Wait what? Yes I spent all of my savings coming here actually.

A thousand dollars? Tickets cost a thousand dollars? No one of these people can't have kids. They're going to Natal Con. But listen to this guy. I tell you the only word right there is con. Listen to this bloke. I think I think I see what his idea is. Do you want to have kids? Yes. Do you have, you don't have kids? No, no. How many do you want to have? Well minimum five. They want to have my first 22 and then I want to have a... Okay, you just gotta get on that. Yeah, I know. Organizers said they heard a lot of interest in matchmaking so they gave Yellow Bristbands to singles

to help them find each other. They gave everyone who was single Yellow Bands and this guy says he's come from Brazil because he knows these women are bang out for it. Yeah. I might go down to Natalcon with my vasectomy. That is the biggest con at Natalcon

is blokes who turn up with a vasectomy. That is the biggest con at natalcon. It's blokes who turn up with a vasectomy. That is fucking, that is poor. I just keep trying. Here's the t-shirt that says I'll leave it in with an arrow pointing down. Well you'll know where to find me next year. Natalcon. They'll have a picture of your face. Do not let this man in his empty ball bag.

Is it like Comic Con? Can I dress up as a superhero or something? Like just dress up as a big baby? A big sperm. Yeah, a big sperm. So anyway, that's Nadelcon. It's going to grow. They said it's doubled in the last year, so it's gone from 100 to 200. That means the world's going fine. 400. That means the population's building. So have kids. You think I should get going? I'm getting old. I'm 33. I think your girlfriend would be a fantastic mother. And so I think she should have kids.

But should you have kids? No. Well, I'm taking semen to a registered post box. Make it at a point right there. I'm taking semen. Send me your cum if you've got good DNA and I'll put it in my gums. Yeah I'll get that. I'll leave it in with a point down.

I'll give you that t-shirt but you have to wear it backwards. Okay. Well that's what's happening at this moment. Pete Hegseth also leaked information on the signal or something. I don't fucking know. Alright we'll see you next week everyone. That was a good one. Goodnight Australia.