I Will Teach You To Be Rich - 263. "We spend 102% of what we make. Will we ever stop drowning?"

Episode Date: June 2, 2026

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Freya and Blake, a couple in their mid-40s with two young children who are facing one of the most urgent financial situations we’ve seen on the show. Together, they earn around $143K a year, but their fixed costs are at 102%, they have $0 in savings, only $180 invested, and more than $96K in debt. Freya applied because she feared they were close to becoming homeless. On the surface, their problem looks like debt. Underneath, it’s avoidance, guilt, lack of partnership, and years of “we’ll figure it out later.” Freya carries the emotional labour of the household and money decisions, while Blake admits he avoids the numbers and tries to solve problems by simply making more money. Ramit helps them confront the reality of their situation, stop tinkering around the edges, and build a radical plan that gives their family a chance to get stable. In this episode we uncover: • Why Freya and Blake are spending more than they make every month • How their fixed costs reached 102% of their income • Why having a $143K income still isn’t enough when there’s no system • The $96K debt number that forces them to face reality • Why Freya feels like she has to manage everything alone • Blake’s “ostrich” approach to money and avoidance • How trips, skiing, and everyday spending became symptoms of a bigger issue • Why being intelligent doesn’t protect you from bad money decisions • The emotional cost of having $0 in savings with two young children • How childhood, privilege, resentment, and guilt shaped their money habits • Why hustling stops working once fixed costs get too high • Ramit’s warning that they are weeks away from not being able to pay rent • Why Blake may need to aggressively increase his income • How they move from blame and panic into a shared plan • Their follow-up reflections on what finally felt doable Chapters: (00:01:20) Meet Freya and Blake (00:03:30) Why Freya applied to speak with Ramit (00:05:23) “Do you want to have a budget conversation?” (00:05:56) The skiing trip that became a money fight (00:08:22) The Mexico trip they couldn’t afford (00:13:52) Savings are gone and the safety net has disappeared (00:15:16) Freya carries the planning, groceries, kids, and money stress (00:21:54) Looking at the Conscious Spending Plan together (00:24:01) The real debt and net worth numbers land (00:31:24) Why 102% fixed costs means they are broke (00:32:04) Ramit warns they are weeks away from not paying rent (00:34:54) Childhood money lessons and blame (00:43:57) Borrowing money to avoid eviction (00:48:11) Blake’s belief that more income will solve everything (00:57:14) Guilt, family, and saying yes when they should say no (01:03:00) Defining a realistic Rich Life from where they are now (01:08:30) Childcare costs disappearing (01:15:03) Freya asks Blake to help with grocery planning (01:18:00) Why savings comes before debt payoff right now (01:34:00) Why the plan finally feels doable This episode is brought to you by: Grow Therapy | Visit https://growtherapy.com/ramit to find a therapist today. LMNT | Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT MasterClass | For unlimited access to every class and at least 15% off any annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube Have you or your partner realised you’re paying a 1% financial advisor hundreds of thousands of dollars in fees over your lifetime? Maybe you feel stuck because they’re your “family money guy,” If so, I want to talk. Apply to be on my podcast at https://iwt.com/apply

If you are in a relationship where you or your partner cover up spending to avoid big fights, or you get stressed out spending $150 on dinner, even though you can easily afford it. If you lay awake at night anxious about money, I want to talk to you. I'm currently casting couples for the next season of the Money for Couples podcast. We only do this a few times a year, and I want to hear from you. You can apply today at IWT.com slash apply. being on the podcast is basically a three or four hour coaching session with me. Tons of past couples who have appeared on the podcast have said it is a pivotal moment for them

to get on the same page. So if you want my take on your unique financial situation, this is your chance. Apply right now at IWT.com slash apply. It feels like a joke. It means you are broke. Yeah. It means you are spending more than you make every month. Every month.

That's the ballgame. Tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. No savings, no investments, two children. What are the real issues here? It's dread and anxiety. Poor financial decisions made 401 is cashed out. We had to ask them, hey, can we borrow 10K? Because we're about to get evicted.

It feels like failure, especially with kids. I would actually get angry. Angry at myself, angry at my upbringing, angry at each other, angry at the dynamic that we have allowed ourselves to sink into. You are actually weeks away from not being able to pay your rent. Frankly, in order to not get evicted,

you will need to confront the very thing that you have avoided your entire life. Confrontation. I have to for Freya and my children. You want the kids to have a great future. Today is a big day for money for couples because we are recording in our new studio. Now, if you have followed along for the last few years,

you've noticed that we are always improving. Thanks to your feedback. team and I are listening. And one of the things that I've wanted to do for a long time is go from audio only to video and then to even higher quality video. And I love seeing couples in the same room, holding hands, crying sometimes, looking at each other. It tells me so much. I think it's going to tell you a lot. Today I'm kicking things off with Freya and Blake. They're 45 and 47 years old. They have two young children together and they spend more than they make every single month. Freya applied to speak with me, and she wrote,

we are living with our terrible choices right now. We are literally broke to the point that I'm worried we will be homeless. You can hear the panic almost jumping off her application. Let's take a quick look at their numbers to see what they're working with. I'm looking at their conscious spending plan or CSP. If you want my help with your own CSP, you can join my money coaching program at IWT.com slash money coaching. Assets, $5,000.

investments, $180. Wow. Savings zero, debt, $96,000. Total net worth negative 90,999. Now let's take a look at their fixed cost, 102%. Okay, that's the ballgame. They're spending far more than they make every single month. Investments 1%, savings zero, and guilt-free spending is negative 2%. We know that's impossible. Looking at these numbers, it's no surprise that Freya is panicking about their financial situation. It's actually quite dire. And when you see numbers like this, it is very easy to just take a huge hatchet and say, okay, we need to start doing this, this, this, this, this. Maybe we do, but we need to find out why they even got into this situation in the first place. So we are actually addressing the root problem. That's my goal today.

Now, let's get started with Freya and Blake. There was something that stood out to me from your application frame. I wonder if I can read it to you. You wrote, we're basically one missed rent payment away from an eviction notice. Is that accurate? It feels accurate. We don't have like the kind of warm fuzzy landlords that are like, yeah, yeah, we used to have one of them. Have you ever gotten an eviction notice?

No. I've never. I've always made it work. And that is, I think, again, part of my... my issue with all of this is I've always managed to make it work. I've always managed to come up with money somehow or, you know, talk my way out of being a month late in rent and being like, I'll promise, you know, like things like that my whole life. How long has it felt this dire? Oh my God.

Oh, my God. A long time. Pandemic. Yeah. Mid-pandemic. Yeah. And does it feel equally dire or does one of you feel the weight of money more? more.

I don't know. I mean, I know how I feel, I don't know how you feel honestly. I feel like I think about it more and I talk about it more. That's tough to call it. That's true. He thinks about it more, but I certainly think about it all the time every day. Yeah. And every day.

Late at night. It's interesting that you don't know how each other feels about money. He doesn't like to talk about it. We'll do it. But then I'm like, okay, now we need to have our weekly follow-ups. And that just that part doesn't happen. And then I start feeling like a nag. And then we're just kind of rinse and repeat.

When you hear Freya saying, we need to have a budget meeting, what is your initial emotional reaction to that? Dread, I'd say. Yeah. It's dread and anxiety. And it just means like, I need to make more money. I'm the classic sort of like, I need to just go make more money. So then we have that. And the budget conversation can be a little more positive.

Do you want to have a budget conversation? No. It was... Honestly, I don't want to have a budget meeting. If somebody comes to me, they're like, we've got to talk about the budget. I'm like, what the fuck? I don't want to do that. I'd rather be dead. Do you want to have a budget meeting?

Kind of. I like lists. I like, I like that kind of stuff. I do. Like what? Like checking things off? Yes, I love a to-do list. I have different notebooks with different to-do lists for different parts of my life.

What the hell? You have multiple to-do notebooks. Yes, I have a work one. I have a household one. I have one for the kids. I have, yeah. for my personal growth. Wow.

I do. I'm not, but, you know, it doesn't always translate into one of the things I would like to translate it. Now, you also mentioned that you don't communicate effectively about money. Can you give me an example? We had just moved. We were kind of like in the same situation we always are. I was like, end of the month.

Oh my God. And he was like, my friend, we should go up to Mount Bachelor and go skiing for the day. And I was like, well, I was like, but that's so rich people's sport. And then it literally just would devolve into a fight. And I was like, well, we can't afford it right now. It's like it's going to be thousands of dollars to go, you know, he wanted to get the kids' lessons. They've never skied. I don't ski.

He's like, you get a lesson and you get a lesson. And it's like, oh, we have lift passes, so it's not that big of a deal. And, you know, it ended up being a fight. He acquiesced and said we won't go. I feel guilty. He was so psyched to go. Hadn't gone skiing in like 10 years and he used to go all the time. And so I finally said never, okay, fine, let's just do it.

We'll figure it out. Because I felt bad. Did you go? We did. How much did it cost? Probably about 2K at the end of the day. Okay. We spent money that we should not have spent.

Okay. Is that true? You shouldn't have spent it? We didn't have it to spend. We didn't have it to spend. Yeah, I felt really guilty for saying no. Have you ever just embraced it and said, okay, good. We're not going.

It depends. I think at the moment we had just moved. We don't know anybody there. And I just, I think I was feeling a lot of that killed. I have said no, but I probably say yes more than no, I will say. And interestingly, you acquiesced, as she put it, like you said, all right, fine, we don't have to go. But then when she said, okay, let's go, you were like, cool, let's do it. Yeah.

Is there a world where you were like, no, you're right, we shouldn't go there because of financial reasons? In that particular situation, no. No. Because you wanted to go. Yeah. In other situations, we've certainly made like, you know, hey, let's cancel this. This is not a good. Yeah. That's rare. Okay. Let me understand a little bit more about the relationship. Are you married? No.

Okay. Do you have kids? Yes. How old? Six and almost five. And are there other children from a prior relationship? I have two. You have two? A 26-year-old and a 22-year-old. Got it. Okay. And do the older children live at home with you? No. Okay. So the two young. kids live with you. Yeah. Got it. Okay. I want to get a little bit more understanding of the dynamic here. So I'm curious about another example. Okay. Where the two of you were not on the same

page with money. Lots to choose from Mexico trip with my parents. That one's probably a good one for you to talk about. What happened? It was a summer trip to La Paz in Mexico with the kids. Finances are tight. I was very nervous about that because the vicissitudes of my income are tough and knowing that into the summer always gets a little tight because there's not as much work. I felt like Freo really wanted to go. I mean, I wanted to go too. So I was more in the positions like, I don't, saying no. Like, I don't think we should do this.

And your parents were involved. So I think your parents are going. So it's probably harder for you to. Yeah, parents going. And yeah, and we took a trip to Mexico. On a credit card. Yeah, on credit card. Ah, how much did it cost?

Three and a half. Something like that. Yeah, three and a half thousand. Not sure. It might have been more. And then when you got back, what was the moment where you looked at the credit card receipt and you were like, oh, oh, what happened? This just added to the debt. You know, you get back and you're like, okay, that's amazing trip, indelible memories with the family and the parents and the kids.

And then you get back and you're, you know, to kick in the teeth because you're like. And we thought about it. Yeah. Like, you would bring it up in financial conversations. It would be like, well, you decided that we should go and now we spent, yeah, so it would turn into like almost like ammo sometimes, I feel like. And then, you know, I'm a, oh, well, I did it for the kids and the family and your parents. And, you know, so it definitely turned into a sticking point.

How often does that happen that you did this, you said that? A lot. Yeah. You guys see a therapist? No. No. Not anymore. We did.

It's been a while. Why? Money? Partially. Because our therapist was $175. Dollars and a pop. It is expensive. It's very expensive.

And you mentioned in your application, you don't even have money for a bankruptcy attorney. Yeah. In that Mexico conversation where you talked about, should we go? No, we shouldn't. What was the role that each of you played if you look back at that conversation? I was the driver and the plan. 100%. You were the one who wanted to go? Yeah. Okay. And then you planned the trip. Yep. Got his parents involved. Okay. And what was your role? Just come along and try not to spend

too much while we're there. Really? Make some money before we go, makes some money when we come back. Well, like, what was the time in Mexico where you were like, let's not order that because there's too much money? Well, I think we did. Not once. But we didn't, we were like, we were not like super extravagant when we do travel, but like we did have a, your mom wanted a private chef for the week. Did your parents offer to pay? They paid for part of it. Okay. Yeah. And was there a conversation where you said like, hey, right now it's not a good time. Could you help or we can't do that? Yeah. I've definitely, for moments like that, it's been, you know, parents have been very generous and like, hey, let us cover the house. Ah. Or something. Yeah. Even still, you spent three and a half

thousand dollars on it. Yeah. The fact that this couple is clearly intelligent and still in almost $100,000 of debt is a big lesson for everybody watching this show, which is intelligence matters. Of course it matters. But just being smart doesn't mean you're going to be wealthy. In fact, just being smart doesn't even mean you're going to stay debt free. A lot of you are too smart for your own good thinking, oh, we'll just figure it out. We'll just solve it. You know, maybe instead of being too smart for your own good,

maybe I'd rather take a 10-point decrease in the IQ and be like, shit, I don't understand this. I better read a book because I won't be able to figure this out unless I learn. So before you come writing a bunch of angry comments, just ask yourself, is there a world where I could be in this situation too? You know, I'm kind of struck speaking to both of you. You're obviously very intelligent. I'm hearing words like vicissitudes and trepidacious.

You know, like you're going to La Paz. When we put all those things together, you're obviously intelligent, yet you are, as you put it, a month away from an eviction notice. Yeah. What do you both think is going on here? I've gotten very used to money being here or not here, and I just have to adapt. And I got kicked out when I was a teenager. So I've been like on my own supporting myself since I was 17. I'm just so used to being in a state of not having anything

that is just, I guess it's comfortable for me. It doesn't worry me, well, didn't worry me that much. Also, because I had like, I felt like I had so long to fix the problem. I had so much time, you know, it was like, so for me, it was just like, hey, man, money comes, money goes. I've had money taken from me by bad relationships, things like that. So I'm just used to be, even if I have it, not being able to, like, see it as like a permanent fixture that could help me.

do anything. So I'm just very, I think that's part of my issue where I'm just like, eh, it'll work itself out. Okay. Like money comes and money goes. However, you know, when you get through periods that are sometimes out of your control and money is not coming, then you're really faced with some dire situations. And is that acceptable? Like, are you cool with it? Have you done that before? You can do it again? No. There's always been, a bit of a safety net or, you know, some freelance gigs that I can pick up quickly in the last few years. That safety net has shrunk. Savings have shrunk. We've used it to cover some stuff here and there to pay down a card or, you know, whatever. We just had that. Now that safety net

is gone. Those savings from all the years. 401K is cashed out. Poor financial decisions made, but to cover monthly costs. Who made those decisions? Together, I think. I mean, I think I definitely suggested stuff like the 401K or whatever, like, and you agreed to do it. I could tell you were a lot more hesitant than I was,

but I feel like we felt like it was in a time during the pandemic when neither one of us was working. And it was like, and I was, I think we had a baby and I was pregnant. It was like. Are you always the driver of the finances in this relationship? Yes.

Okay. And your role is you're along for the ride. Is that right? Along for the ride. Maybe putting up some slight resistance, but basically along for the ride. That's what I'm reading. Yeah. I tend to be like, okay, finances are, you know, I constantly think of them.

And I try to really limit spending. Like, I don't buy a lot of stuff, right? This is coming with men. Yeah. But when he says, I am a spender, it's also because I do all. the planning, I do all the kids stuff, I do the grocery shopping, I do everything. So I feel like, and it's a point of contention. I always say that. So I'm like, well, yeah, you're not spending any money because you're not doing any of the things that need to be done. I didn't hear him say that you

are a spender. Would you say, okay, we've had this conversation before and I feel like he's like, I'm the spender and he's the not spender. I hate this dynamic. In a heterosexual relationship, the woman is the one who's tracking everything. She's worrying because she sees the number, and then you have the guy who's like, ah, I don't really pay attention to it very much. It causes an ever-increasing rift because she is down in the weeds necessarily, but like I hate when people are in the weeds,

taking on all this emotional labor, and he's oblivious to it. It's just not partnership. Look, everybody has blind spots. You do, I do, my guests certainly do. And that's okay. What's important is to recognize those blind spots, whether it's on your own or with the help of your partner, and then make a plan to fix it.

Before my wife and I got married, we were having serious discussions about money. And we ended up getting stuck. It was pretty hard to have these conversations. One of the things that she suggested was that we go and see a couple's therapist. And it actually turned out to be a complete game changer for our relationship. So if you have been thinking about working with a therapist to get on the same page with your partner, check out Grow Therapy to get started very quickly. Grow Therapy makes it easy to find a therapist that fits you, not the other way around.

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little as $0 depending on their plan. Visit growtherapy.com slash remit today to get started. That's growtherapy.com slash remit, growtherapy.com slash remit. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. Exciting news. One of our longest running sponsors, Element, has just launched their new lemonade ice tea. And it's built on the same formula as Elements core drink mix, but now with a full-spectrum black tea extract for a natural source of caffeine.

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with a meaningful dose of electrolytes, no sugar, no artificial colors, no other weird ingredients. Get a free eight count element sample pack with any purchase at drinklmnt.com slash remit. That's drinklmnt.com slash remit. Try it totally risk-free. If you don't like it, they'll give you your money back. No questions asked. Walk me through how money flows in your relationship. Freya? I have not been working. a lot lately with the kids. It's been tough. But usually it's Blake's income that we rely on. And it's sporadic. So it depends on how, you know, how was the month before, do we even have any leftover? Otherwise, it just feels like a scramble. It's like what hole to plug first?

Because maybe we're a little late on rent and a couple of the utilities. So it's like, plug those holes up. Oh, but here comes summer camp. Whatever you're going to do in it. It feels like a scramble. It feels like it comes in and it's gone quickly because we're patching holes. So you're making decisions about what bill to pay, including some of your fixed costs like rent or utilities. What about the non-fixed costs?

So you mentioned summer camp? Yeah. Or let's say eating out, trips, whatever the non-discretionary. So what about that? when we have it, we spend it. And then when we don't, we panic. And that's literally how it feels. It's just like pure panic.

Otherwise, I'm like, oh, we have a couple extra hundred dollars. Let's just go to dinner this one time. Right. You know, and then it's like, oh, well, so-and-so really wants to go. We should try to nurture that relationship. And here we are at dinner doing the same thing we always do. What do you get out of it? Honestly, for me, it feels like just a minute of escape.

Escape from? all the crap that it's going on financially, which is completely backwards, I know. That's what it feels like. I can forget about it for a minute, enjoy it for a second, and then worry about it later. And Blake?

I'm very similar to that. You know, kick the can down, you know, live in the moment, have that good time, work your butt off to make the money back. A very sort of myopic take on it. Yeah. and not, no real future planning at all, frankly.

And it's, yeah, it's, and that weighs on you. You know, that weighs emotionally, that's, you have that moment, that dinner out or whatever. And then you're like, oh, my God, we spent, you know, $1,000 on dinners this month. It weighs on you, but it seems like not enough to make a change. Well, only recently have we made those changes. No. What changes? We, I cut down on all of our subscriptions.

I bought a software thing to do budgeting. So we've been like, I've been really paying attention. It's only been like a month. But like I'm very invested in like keeping track of things now, which isn't the same as saving yet. But I'm like, I couldn't have told you where I was spending money before. Has anything in the relationship dynamic changed around money in the last month? I mean, we have done weekly sit down, save all of our seats.

I'm trying to do weekly sit downs. We've done it twice. and we have not done it in three weeks. The dynamic seems to have been, Freya, you drive it, and often you are also contributing to spending without knowing where the money's going. Blake is along for the ride.

There's not real collaboration. And so even when you are trying to make a change in the last month, it's just you doing more work. That's 100% how it feels. I've done this before. This is not the first time I've tried to get our finances in order.

Try to make a plan. But maybe if I try again, maybe this time it'll work. This time, it's going to be better. But it's literally the same thing. I end up giving up because it feels like I'm doing everything. Why don't you do it differently? I don't know how, I guess.

I can't figure out, like I feel like I can't do it by myself. I don't know. But you are? But yeah, I guess so. Why don't you do it differently? I get to say, well, I tried. And when you say that, what does it feel? Like, it's not my fault.

I think it's a definite like me being able to shift some blame and be like, well, I don't know. I can't do it alone. Yeah. And then Blake, she's setting up the meetings, but you have not taken on a role, an active role in this. What do you get out of that? Guilt.

Anxiety. You get that? Then why don't you change? Tough question. I mean, it's not tough. Yeah, I need to change. I mean, I don't know why I don't. Think about it.

Yeah. I don't, I'm not sure the real. From my perspective, I'm not him. Been to lots of therapy in my life though. And I'm just like, you know, you just, you've had a life when you were growing up where your responsibility wasn't really a thing. You know, it's like a very privileged upbringing. In your opinion, what is Blake getting out of this?

Oh, complete avoidance. Doesn't have to deal with it. Someone else will take care of the problem. Which is you. Which is me right now. Freya, you called Blake an ostrich with money. I think I get, I think I understand what that means. And do you accept that comment?

Would you agree that you are an ostrich with money? 100%. Okay. I just try to make more money and then not talk about it. Yeah. Maybe the conversations will go away. Yes. If I just make more, then we don't have to talk about this for another month.

And maybe one day, maybe never. Classic. That's descriptive. That doesn't tell us what to do about it. Right. I need to look at the numbers. Can we take a look? Okay.

Okay. What was it like putting the conscious spending plan together? You don't know. Because I did it. Ah. That answers my question. So you didn't do it together.

Why not? Is that the instructions? I did share it with him, but I had already done it because I was like, I had a... You sent the link. You go, here it is, FYI, and then you checked off one of those notepads.

Exactly. Kind of missing the spirit. 100%. Yeah. We actually sat down on the couch and went for... Did you look through it? Oh, yeah, yeah.

And what was that like for you? Shocking, you know, that like, what, we have 500, whatever. $750 and subscriptions. Yeah. Okay. Subscriptions at $750. Things we didn't know. Insurance on our house, you know, that we rented in Venice that hadn't gotten canceled

with our car that was bundled, a bundled that was unbundled when I canceled, yeah. So you're paying a lot of money you didn't realize. What else? You know, shock at the amount of money we spend on food monthly. Do you remember how much that was? I think we're in the 3,000 range above 3,000. Okay. With groceries and eating out and all those.

So you saw that number and what was your reaction? Like we need to figure out a new system. All right. Did you? We switched grocery stores, talked about the food that we eat. What do you eat for $3,000 a month? We eat really, really well. at home. Okay. We are not...

Like, what does that mean? I mean, Freya's a chef. Okay. She is an amazing cook, and we eat like we're at a restaurant almost every night. Okay. And it is a luxury and it's amazing. All right, let's take a look at these numbers. Actually, what does it feel like to look at these numbers? I'm a little nervous. I don't remember every single number that was on there because I haven't looked at it since. So... How long has it been since you put this together? I guess about a month.

Okay. All right. Can you read me the word in bold and the number next to it for this entire box? Assets, $5,000. Investments, $180. Savings, zero. Debt, $96,179. Total net worth minus $90,99.

All right. What does it feel like to see those numbers? Nauseating. Blake, what about for you? feels awful. Did you know these numbers? Yeah. Okay.

I mean, especially the debt numbers and assets. Yeah, I know these numbers. What is the debt? Mostly credit card. That's credit card debt? Yeah. Yeah. I think I have some back taxes on my small business that I started.

I think that's about it, though. Most of it's credit card. What does it mean to you when you see these numbers? Like when you look at the numbers, what is the meaning that you draw from it? Honestly, for me, it feels like failure. It looks like failure, especially with kids. What about for you, Blake? I was going to say failure as well.

Yeah, it's just depressing to look at these numbers. As hard as you work to try to get ahead. And then, yeah, that's where you are. It's just, like, devastating. And you kind of look back and be like, for decades, like what small shifts could I have made in behaviors and spending or whatever. Yeah. And what's the answer?

I mean, so many things. First of all, you know, credit just made some smart fiscal decisions and said no more. Or said yes to things like the discussion about personal finances or actually embrace the personal finance and look at it. Yeah. I mean, it's just brutal. I mean, it's brutal. It's tough because, like, for me,

I love my kids. But I'm like, I don't think we were in a position to have two kids when we did, honestly. And like looking back at that, it's like that is a decision I could have made differently. But of course, it's like talking about your children. And then when I did, I wasn't working. And I'm like, I could have tried harder maybe to like get more work somehow. And just paying attention. Like I didn't pay attention in like in the years where I was working.

And it was easier for me to make money. I wasn't paying attention to where it was going. I didn't do that. I used to say no one taught me what to do with money, but I also didn't teach myself. I know that's a cop out now. I was like, my parents taught me nothing about money. They had a terrible really.

I put a lot of blame on them. And only recently am I like, well, you know, there's the internet, there's books, there's classes. Like I could have done so much more. And I just didn't. Are you doing it now? I mean, I'm trying. It's like I'm reading a books

And I am trying to like Work on getting more skills so I can't find more work But it's like it feels so late in the game It's like depressing is like definitely a word that I would use But I look at this and like what can I do now? It does feel depressing. It feels daunting Okay Let's keep going down the rest of the CSP So let's talk about the income

Blake can you read off the combined Monthly gross income. Combined monthly grossed income is 11,9333. You two combined make $143,000 a year. Did you know that? I mean, I did. You did? Okay. And Blake, did you know that? I knew it was around that. What do you think about the income? I think it's not where we need to be, not where I want to be. Is it a good income, a bad income? Depends on your situation and how you want to live. I think how we're currently how we have been operating in the past seven years. It's not a great income at all.

You two were living like you made a lot more. Yeah. How much do you think income the lifestyle you were living was? 250. That's sort of where we were before. I think that's part of the problem. You used to make that much. I used to make a six figure, low six figure salary.

Okay. And then you made money as well. So combined you were making what, $250, $300? Probably $2.20. Yeah. I mean, my salary was $2.25. And then, well, that's a lot of money. Plus bonus.

And it's like. So you've come down from, let's just say, $2.50 to $140. Yeah. And I'm guessing you didn't change a lot of expenses. And added two kits. Okay. It was just a cask, like an avalanche of expenses and responsibilities. And combined with exterior.

Yeah. the things that have happened with economy. Wait, wait, wait. What about the interior stuff, the decisions that you made? We never talked about it. We just, things changed,

and we just kept doing what we were doing, you know, and just avoiding it. We just avoided it. And there's, like, no way around it. We just avoided it. And we also lived in, like, you know, the people that are our friend group and our circle all made way more money

even before we started. And I definitely feel like there was a leaning into it and we did not put the brakes on it. Like it didn't matter that I wasn't working. We did the exact same things we were doing anyways. I can understand the challenge of going from 250 to 140. That's hard. Yeah. I don't think many people have experienced what that's like.

At 250 you can spend without having to track a lot of stuff. Yep. And at 140 with kids, with debt, with additional expenses, that you're not in the same ballpark. I can understand that. I can understand avoiding decisions for a while. That I can understand. What I can't understand is why you haven't made a radical change right now.

The only change that I've really heard is we got an app. I am looking through the numbers, but like that's about it. I did do some stuff. Like we got, I cut our subscriptions down to, I think we're down to 250. Some of them are for work stuff so we can't get rid of all of them. I did change when he said we changed grocery stores. I did research. I didn't know.

And I started shopping at different grocery stores. We got rid of our babysitter. Okay. So I've been doing. So you did make changes. No, I have made changes. Are they enough? No.

When we stop blaming, moving, making tinkering changes and we just have to be. still. It gets very quiet. And then we have to be like, uh-oh. There's nobody coming to save us. Have you gotten to that point yet? I was going to say yes, but I don't think I have because I haven't changed anything. Yes. Let's take a look at the rest of the numbers. Investments are at 1% that's $60 going to a post-tax retirement account. Savings are at zero. And then everything else, guilt-free spending, is negative 2% with. which we know is not accurate. You all are eating out, just that at a minimum,

plus any other trips and whatever else. So that's not accurate. Fraya, can you read off the fixed cost number? 102%. 102%. What does that mean? It feels like a joke. What does it mean specifically?

It means we're living way beyond our means. It means you are broke. Yeah. It means you're spending more than you make every month. Every month. That's the ball game. Right there. Nothing else matters. Right there. That's everything. It means that whatever money you're bringing in, you are spending more just to keep your fixed costs. In other words, the lights on. There is no tinkering around the edges that will solve that. And when you tell me that you have zero dollars in savings, what this tells me is you are actually weeks away from not being able to pay your rent. This is the problem.

Yeah. This is one of the worst financial situations that I have seen on this show. And I was shocked that it was almost $90,000 of high interest debt. That is just on its face almost impossible to get out of. Then I see the 102% fixed costs. They are spending more than they make every single month with no savings. What can I do here? Sometimes I also think about what the kids in situations like this are going to be learning.

Am I going to see these children on my own show 30 years from now? They're coming on and telling me, my parents never taught me anything about money. My parents were in severe debt, but they covered it up. I don't want that. I'm trying to change these generational cycles. So when I hear that a couple is in this kind of debt, especially high interest debt because they overspent and they have two kids, like, that is a real problem for me.

me. A lot of people come to me with the idea that I have some secret magic math formula. I definitely do not. I can guarantee that. Let's go. I'm scared. But I think what often ends up happening is this becomes the place that they can finally stop spinning and actually get quiet and still and realize what the real issues are. What do you think the real issues are now that we are looking at your CSP and seeing tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt, no savings, effectively no investments, two children. What are the real issues here? Blake?

Avoidance. Lack of proactivity. Operating out of a kind of a negative space and just fix it with more income kind of mentality, the constant search for more income. and not being as good of a partner to Freya and taking some more responsibility, really sit down and put my really earnest effort

into solving some of those issues and really facing tougher decisions that we probably should make in the future. You ever said that out loud before? I've said similar, things, but it's about action and not words. Yeah. Fraya, what about you? What's the real issues going on here? I think a lot of it for me is feeling siloed. Like we're not in a partnership. And I think that's hard

for me because then I feel like I have to do it, but that I can't and then I stop. And it's like this cycle of just not, I don't know, I just doesn't, I feel like I'm doing it by myself, but I'm not doing anything. I mean, as recently as three or four weeks ago, you downloaded an app. Yeah. You're taking on more. I think I feel a little helpless in this situation to do it. Like, I don't know. I just feel lost. I'm just,

I look at it. It feels daunting and overwhelming. What about for each other? Like, I didn't hear you mention anything about Blake's complete absence from the finances. Yeah, I think that's why feeling siloed. Like, I just,

I feel like we end up, we end up fighting about it. And it's really hard for me to want to push the conversations because it's so often ends negatively. And then, yeah, and then it just, we just go back into our usual, like, MOs.

And I do all the stuff, then I get frustrated. But yeah, I don't know. It's like I feel like I need a partner. You know, Mother and Father's Days are coming up, and I have a great gift idea for you to give to them. Give them a subscription to Masterclass, this episode's sponsor. They have tons of great classes your parents would love, like developing good, repeatable habits with atomic habits,

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their enrollment fee for new annual members and, for my audience, Fassett is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within the first 90 days. Head to Fassett.com. com slash Ramith to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer ends December 31st, 2006. Fassett is an SEC registered investment advisor. I'm not a member of Fassett and I have an incentive to endorse FACET as I have an ongoing fee-based contract for cash compensation based on this endorsement. All opinions are my own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome. How much you think you spend on guilt-free spending? Or let's call it discretionary spending in this case. There's a lot of guilt. Yeah. I don't think you spend if you, you know,

You eat out, let's say how many times a week? A month. More like three times a month. Three times a month. We were pretty good about that. And then clothes, vacation, personal care. I mean, it's got to be at least $1,200. At least.

At least. Kids. A lot of that would be the kids stuff. Like, they're clothes and eating. Like, we don't take them to eat out, but like, they're growing. They have tennis lesson. One of them is in tennis. One of them takes dance.

Can I ask a question? Yeah. For a couple that's in almost $100,000 of credit card debt, do their kids get to go to tennis lessons? I mean, ours do, and they probably shouldn't. The scarcity thing of how I was raised and how I always made it work, and I think that's part of my problem. How were you raised?

Oh, I didn't get to do anything. I was homeschooled. I was not allowed to do any, no lessons, no fun. Like, it was just not a thing that we did. We did not go on vacations. We did not do, you know, it was not, money was very, always very scarce, or I was told anyways, was we didn't have any.

And was that true? Now I know it wasn't necessarily true. They weren't, you know, super well off, but they were middle class. Why'd they tell you that? I don't know if it was the religion part of it. I think that might have had a big part of, you know, just not spending.

And then there was ups and downs with my, you know, if my dad was the only one working. Got it. And then I was on my own at 17. So it was literally just hand to mouth for a really, really, really long time. Hand to mouth, what does that mean to you? Like, slept on a train when I first moved to New York. Like, didn't have anywhere to go.

Yeah. Do you remember any specific phrases that they said about money? Phrases, no. We can't afford it. Yeah, we don't have it. Honestly, I just didn't ask for anything. Were you an only child? No.

One of five. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. And I just remember layaway. Wow. Clothes, like winter coats on layaway. Are your siblings in similar financial situations? Yes.

All of them. The one with one exception. You mentioned your family was religious. Tell me a little bit about that. Oh, wow. Hardcore Jehovah's Witness. Hardcore. Really?

I did not go to school. I was taken out of school when I was 10. Wow. So no formal education until I was 17. I applied for a fashion school. Like I got a high school diploma from my home school. And I applied to the fashion school, got in on my own steam, and did that for a couple of years. And that's how I ended up being able to have in a career later.

But yeah, didn't go to high school. Everything I know, I had to learn on my own. Like I would go to the library and study things because it was just, here's what you have. have to do to graduate every year. I just, I never got any actual education. Are you still religious? Oh, God, no. And your siblings? I'm spiritual, but I'm not religious. What about your siblings? No. They're not religious either. Oh, absolutely not. Even my dad's not in the religion anymore. Is that right? Wow. How do you think your religious upbringing affected your view of money? A lot of it did go to the church. And I was very resentful of a lot of it.

I think I had a big resentment towards that whole thing because I wasn't allowed to be educated when I was talking about what job I would want to support myself. It was like, be a locksmith so you can go preach God's word during daytime hours and you can work it. Yeah, so there's a lot. It was like very deprivation, scarcity kind of mindset, and I think that had a lot to do with it.

And I had realized really early on that I would have be completely self-reliant, which I feel like also translated me like, I'm going to do whatever I need to do for me to feel good. And that's a lot of that translates to not saving, not denying myself stuff. Because you were denied so often as a kid. Oh, yeah. And what about the relationship here? How do you think that your religious upbringing has affected your relationship with Blake?

Okay, well, but it comes down to saying no to one's self. I feel like I found it kind of like my soulmate and not wanting to do that. You don't say no to yourself, nor does he. Yeah. And I feel like that it felt kind of symbiotic in a way. Like we both kind of have like the same kind of laissez-faire, you know, embrace life while you can viewpoint. And I think that's one of the reasons we clicked in the first place, just like kind of our similar outlooks. That outlook being let's say yes.

Let's take the day on. Let's enjoy what life has to offer. And also work hard and like in hustle. And we both have a really big hustle mentality. Ah, hustle mentality. It works until it doesn't. You can hustle. Yeah, you can hustle when your fixed expenses are low.

And when you're 25. When you're 25. But when you have high fixed costs, including 90K of debt, when you have two children, hustling stops working. We are realizing that now. I really feel for Freya, hearing how she grew up in a way that most of us cannot fathom, kicked out of her house at 17.

Just imagine what type of upbringing somebody had to go through in order for that to happen. Being a Jehovah's Witness, having many siblings, none of whom are religious anymore, and almost all of whom are in similarly dire financial straits. There's obviously a lot going on when she grew up. That causes long-lasting effects.

Some of you ate pizza two days ago, and the roof of your mouth is still burned and you're complaining about it. Oh, so difficult my life. It is quite illuminating that Freya was kicked out of her house at 17 and here she is maybe weeks away

from being kicked out of her house as an adult, as a mother. The ways that we grow up often show up for us as adults. They are often inescapable unless we make huge changes. What about you? What do you remember your family saying about money when you were young?

We don't talk about money. We're Southern. Okay. I grew up in the Bible Belt, man. You know, you don't talk about money. Wow. You don't talk about emotions. Mm-hmm.

You know, sweep it under the rug. Right. I grew up in eastern Tennessee, you know, felt wealthy or felt privileged for sure. Why did you feel that? My dad was a doctor in a small town. There was not layaway, was not a thing for us. Take trips? Trips, you know, the annual summer trip, yeah.

And what did that teach you? The fact that you grew up privileged, like, what was your feeling about money? My feeling about money was I just didn't give it much thought, frankly. I never talked to my parents about it. In fact, when I confided to my dad, the work I'm to do this show last couple days ago, he ironically said wow it's going to be really nice must be nice to be able to talk to someone about that right

wow and I was like yeah would it would have been 20 years ago to get a little wish I would have asked you know wish I would have dug a little deeper because I know there's information there

I didn't know that my parents struggled with their mortgage at one point we had to ask them, hey, can we borrow 5K or whatever, 10K? Because we're about to get evicted. And they were like, absolutely, we can help you out. It was a Band-Aid, but it was so helpful and we're very grateful. But then they confided and let us know that they too had a similar issue. There were points in their lives that they didn't know if they were going to make their mortgage, etc.

And I was like, I was like, really? I've been shocked to even to know that. Never heard any of that before. I think the main takeaway from my parents that I can remember was invest. Roth IRA, like burnt into the brain. I actually don't think that that's on here. There is a Roth with 18K. Oh, I didn't know that.

In this that I've never told anyone about because I don't ever want to touch the Roth. That's quite interesting. How did that not come up? I don't want to cash it out. Is that for real? Yeah. Yeah. You know that if you bring that up into this dynamic, it will simply get drained.

Yeah. Okay. And I know Roth. I mean, from the little I know, I know Roth IRA is one thing that you absolutely shouldn't touch and everything else has been touched. What does that feel like to hear that? I'm actually not. I thought I would be mad if I found something out like that. But I get it.

You get it. I understand. And, you know, I had a 401K once upon a time too. And somebody convinced me to take it out. And I never saw it again. And it's, so I get it. And I don't think it's anything. I didn't realize that I was asking if you can blame Blake.

I just asked how it felt to hear that. I mean, I'm surprised. And I'm also kind of relieved in a way to know that there's still something there. Like, I feel a little bit of relief, honestly. Just to know that there is something somewhere. Blake, what do you think that your lessons about money? What are those have you brought to this relationship? Yeah, I don't think I brought any good tools to this relationship at all.

I feel like you're being a little coy about your upbringing. He went to boarding school. What's up? What? They went, their yearly vacations were like weeks long in Europe. I feel like he's being coy. Quite interesting. How come you didn't bring that up?

I mean, there was one. But you guys, you went to boarding school. Yeah, I didn't run to boarding school. It's a different caliber of wealth than we might think, like small town doctor. Exactly. Okay. That's interesting. What is the shit?

What are these secret accounts coming out of nowhere when they're down to 180 bucks in their investment account? At first, it's like, oh, very comfortable. My dad was a little country doctor. Then the hidden IRA? Where did that come from? I certainly didn't know about it. And the boarding school. Two secrets, two things that provide a ton of color, but just glossed over. That kind of changes the story. It kind of tells me you have a different view than what I was led to believe. The funniest part of this, by the way, is that I only caught on to this because I glanced at Freya's face. As I've always said, the partner knows. best. When someone is not telling the full story, I just look one foot to the left. Boom, there you go. First of all, I'm not okay with people hiding things from me. If you come here, you want help. So why would you lie when I'm trying to help you? But second, it's just another way of recreating

this dynamic of Blake not getting into the details of staying superficial or vague and not engaging with the meat. the real fact of the matter. We've got to make a change on this one. So no lessons from that? Like, let me put yourself, I'm going to put myself in your shoes. I grow up in the South, wealthy family. I never really have to worry about money. I get the things I want.

And we travel, we see the world. And then I grow up and I make six figures, live in a pretty good life. And then I blink my eyes and I find myself in $90,000 of debt, potentially about to be evicted. I'm kind of like, I don't understand what happened here, but I just need to keep earning money because if I just make money, then I can have the type of childhood or type of relationship that we had growing up.

Where did I go wrong on that? How much of that is accurate? Very, very accurate. All right. Yeah, it's, yeah, I've always had, I've had strong income, good worth ethic. I think you didn't need to develop any serious skills around money. I think that you grew up, your family provided, provided very well, didn't teach you much. Right.

When did you start making a lot of money? 30s. 30s. All right. Made it, spent it, developed no real skills for saving, investing. But you know what? A lot of people grow up privileged with their parents not telling them about money, but they don't get into $90,000 of debt. What do you think happened here differently?

I was just... very Peter Pan-esque. I'm on a good role here. Positive outlook. Totally naive. Of like, this will lead to more. And with each year, that salary is going to get a little bigger. Things are on my side.

Not thinking about a worst case scenario, never like imagining like, oh, wow, big things can shift. And I have no security blanket. And life doesn't always go up. Yeah. Putting things on credit card, paying down. I mean, I never, that whole time, I never missed a credit card payment, you know,

but pay them down. And then that just became a little more comfortable to put there. Comfort. Yeah. That's a word you mentioned early on. Yeah. And not saying no. I don't, I'm not, confrontation is not good.

Confrontation has always been a problem for me or really standing up, even if I think, like, this is not a good idea. just go with the bad idea and deal with it later. What if I told you that in order to succeed with money, or frankly, in order to not get evicted, you will need to confront the very thing that you have avoided your entire life. Confrontation.

I had a feeling you were going to say that. Yeah, I mean, we have to. I have to for Freya and, frankly, for my children. Because it's very emotional because you want the kids to have. a great future and experiences. And I'd rather them know the problems we're having now than try to hide. Like your family did.

I mean, you made the choice to come on here. They're going to see this one day. Yeah. What do you think about that? Good. I mean, fine. I'd rather like, you know, strip down naked and tell the truth and let hopefully someone learn from it.

them or someone else to be like, dude, don't make the mistakes of that guy, man. Yeah. You know? That's, that is the kind of energy that I have not seen today, but that tells me you might be ready to make a change.

Yeah. It's very courageous. I think it's a gift that your kids are going to see this one day. Because look at what happened that your parents didn't teach you. They were very privileged. Your family. They could have taught you about when times are good and when times were not.

is an opportunity. They did not. Even today, your dad goes, oh, must be nice. Like, there's an opportunity for a lesson. And they couldn't do it for whatever reason. That was their time and their style. Okay. But you two can. Yeah. I think that's my, as we're thinking about coming here, is that's my goal. Like, make that change so the plane lands in a different area for them, you know? Yes. And actually for you too. And for us too, yeah. Yeah. This is a really difficult they are going to have to make huge changes that they are unaccustomed to. But seeing Blake strip down, basically say, I'm ready to make a change and crying, that tells me that there is hope.

Most people in a bad financial situation struggle to even acknowledge that it's a problem. People will make endless justifications for it's not so bad or at least we're not as bad as our neighbors. here, you can see that Blake is actually acknowledging they're in a bad situation. And that is the first step to making a plan that's going to get them out of it. We need to go back to the numbers now. Now that I understand a little bit more about how you grew up, and I want to see what these numbers are specifically line by line. Can we take a look? So under your fixed costs, your rent is $3,480, which is 29% of take home. pay. It's not bad in and of itself. It's a little higher than 28%, but these days, that's difficult

to hit. But it doesn't give you any real margin for extra stuff. Did you know that? Yeah. You knew that. When you downscaled from Venice to go to Washington, you chose that. I was making more money at the time. Okay, got it. So you're making more money and you're making less now. So nowadays, you're making $2,200 a month. I'm making about half of what I was making before. All right. Utilities 450, insurance 488, car payment 636. Does that include gas as well?

Yeah. One's a lease and it's electric so we don't pay for that. But then we have another car, a second car that we own outright. And that's... Do you need two cars? Wow, that's a good answer. Enough said. When you side, I said, goodbye car.

Nice knowing you. No need to tell me. We'll get to that. Enjoy the last 12 minutes with your car because that thing is gone. Thank you for the side. Debt payments are $2.90. There's no way. No, that's because we're, I mean, that's the other part.

We have not been making the credit card payments. At all? I mean, I mean, I think late in the last couple of months when it's been. That would just stopped. So is it in collections? Yeah. It just hit collections last, like last week or last month. Yeah.

When you saw that, what was your reaction? When I saw it, I mean, I knew it was coming. And then? I was like, I think bankruptcy is probably the answer. So I reached out to bankruptcy lawyer, and then we learned the cost of that. And it's like, oh, my God. And then? What was your reaction then?

To hang tight and figure out how to do, how to cobble the money together for the bankruptcy lawyer. The pattern here is a very superficial engagement with money. It's like, don't pay any attention to it. I'm fast forwarding a lot. Get a collections notice and just like, all right, what's the fastest way out of this? Call a bankruptcy attorney. No engagement with the numbers. I guarantee you have not picked up a book or done something differently because of that collections notice.

Not even doing your regular meetings. Just like, what's the most surface level thing that can get this away from me because it feels bad? Do you notice that pattern? You cannot delegate your way out of this. You cannot stay at the service level. And actually, the hardest part of this transformation is in the weeds. And it's the only way out. Groceries are $1,200, and that's down from over $3,000.

That is down from, yeah, it was a little over 3K. Clothes 50, phone 260, subscriptions are 375, and that's down as well. Phone's gone down too. I kicked my kids off the phone plan. I've been paying for my adult children's phones for since they were 10. Get in tight on this. What the f is wrong with all these parents in credit card debt paying for their adult children's cell phones? Are you fucking kidding me?

When I moved to New York, you know, I lived in this building as a nice building. And my very nice, naive parents from California came to help me move in. and you know, they're like helping me push the cart up to elevator. And they're looking around it. They're like, wow, there's a lot of young people in this building. They must do very well. And I just laughed at them. I'm like, mom, these kids' parents pay for their apartment.

And they were like flabbergasted. Because this doesn't happen on the West Coast as much as in New York. They're like, how can the parents afford to pay for their apartment? I'm like, oh my God, it's so adorable. They don't know how this works. But yeah, here we are. in debt paying. Now, this opens up a whole can of worms.

What else have you paid for for your adult children? Not a lot, honestly. No? And that is why I kept doing it, because I had a lot, I felt guilty that I couldn't do more for them. This was like, for me, it was like, oh, it's like the bare minimum I can pay themselves.

Why don't you feel guilt about having, you know, almost being evicted? Why not that? Right? I don't even like guilt, first of all. No, I know. So I'm being a bit facetious here, but like the guilt of not going on a trip,

the guilt of not paying for my grown kids' phones. Mm-hmm. And my au pair's phone, too. I had to kick her up. My old opair, that does not work for us any longer. Yeah, no. I was like, this is insane.

I don't know what? I don't know. I was like, what? I mean, I feel, I think it is because, again, when I was brought, I got nothing from my parents. I mean, I got kicked out. They gave me negative thing. They gave me negative.

But you're about to get kicked out yourself. Yeah. So while I understand that your background, has influenced the way that you give and perhaps even give when you can't, you're about to lose it all. Yeah. Like, I would actually get angry.

Angry at myself, angry at my upbringing, angry at each other, angry at the dynamic that we have allowed ourselves to sink into. Why not take that? Why not decide what emotion you're going to bring to bear

and then channel it like a freaking magnifying glass, till it lights this thing on fire. Why not that? I like that. No, I like this. I feel like that with so much of my rest of my life. Yeah.

Somebody who has multiple freaking notepads knows what it's like to focus their energy. I am so like that with the rest of my life. And it's just, it's been a weird, I don't know how like it got here. We're fighting ants, except for like I do psychologically, I know. I've been used to people taking from me.

I've been used to not having. I've been used to be able to make it up. And it's just like, and it's not working anymore. made decisions over and over and over again that brought you here. Like we can we can catalog them. There was Mexico, there's paying for adult children, there's not saying no, there's not having meetings, there's not even knowing that you're spending thousands of dollars a month on

groceries. These are compounding over time. Right? And they're certainly not adjusting your expenses when you cut your income. All of these things worked in tandem like a magnifying glass and they lit a fire too. fire just happened to be $100,000 of credit card debt. Okay. Continuing along, we have child care for $1,400 and kids' activities for $173.

And then miscellaneous, which is $1,320. Would that be fair? Pretty close. Yeah. Child care, can you just walk me through that? So you have child care. The youngest one is still in preschool. And there's no free pre-K where we live.

How long until that changes? August. And then how much will you? save $1,400. That's good. Yeah, no, that's great. Good, let's keep going. Investments, you have $60 going.

All right. Savings are zero, and then you all have what else for guilt. We talked about eating out. What else? Books and art supplies. What's art? That's an Indian person's answer. What's art?

I mean, I do sell my pieces. Don't do that. Let's be intellectually honest. I would say I spend at least hundred dollars a month on books. Go ahead, Blake. I would say at least. Can we get an accurate number?

Give me the ceiling, not the floor. Between Ross, Michaels, and books and machines that make things, it's... Probably if we averaged out, 300. 300 a month. Okay. What do you make of me going through these numbers? Blake, what are your surprises? I'm not surprised by a lot.

Yeah. I mean, I'm surprised at how little we have in a certain situation, but are you surprised about anything? Yeah, our inaction. I'm so shocked that we can look, that we looked at this and we're like, cool, let's go to dinner next week. It doesn't even feel like myself. Like, you know what it's almost like it's happening to somebody else. That's kind of what it feels like to look at that. and be like, I just feel like there's like this huge chasm between me and those numbers for some reason. Yes. And it's honestly, I'm frankly annoyed with myself. Good. Good. You should be pissed.

Pissed. Yes, I am pissed. So in order for me to help you make a change, I need to know right now you are essentially just, you're still spending the way you used to spend. Us cutting this down by $200 is going to make no difference. We've got to start blank page. So I want to know rich life, but, Rich life starting from where you are today. What is your rich life? In other words, it can't be we're going to retire in five years. That's not going to happen.

What is your true rich life based on where you are today? I think rich life would be keeping our kids in some extracurricular activities. That's the first part of your rich life is spending money on your kids. Letting them do some things. Okay. You know, I'm not taking all that because they get so much joy out of that. What else? Yeah, family trips, whether that's camping or whatever.

What role does the debt play in your rich life? It would feel great to start just addressing that head on, just so I can sleep at night and not have to worry. It's quite interesting that kids came first, then trips, not a mention of debt until I brought it up. What does that tell you? But it's not forefront. Yeah.

But I'm avoiding it. Yes. You're not there yet. until you actually confront the reality that you probably have to pull your kids out of certain activities if you want to get out of this debt, then we're stuck. Yeah. I was actually shocked you didn't say get rid of our debt first and start saving towards our retirement.

Like that's what would be my rich life is to know that. Tell me, what is it? That we pay down this debt and we have a savings account for the months where we know it's going to be light on income. And also, you know, for my rich life, I want to work. And it's like, it's not because I don't want to. I've worked since I was 15 years old. And it's like, so for me, having a fulfilling career where I'm getting paid to contribute more to our family so we can do all that stuff was definitely high on my list. Okay. So increasing the income, paying off the debt. Okay. I just don't want to have to like worry about it every waking hour. That's like, honestly,

see, that's all I need. Yeah. I'm not like stressed out by it every waking moment. Every wake hour. The way that you will begin to stop feeling this ever-present anxiety is by making a plan. Okay? Oh, I know. You have no plan.

We have no plan. Even when I asked, the plan was like, well, we got to put the kids in these activities. No. We got to make a plan for that debt. We got to make a plan for savings. Like we have made almost a decades worth of decisions that got us here. we got to make rapid, big changes to shift it. Okay, so do we agree on that?

We have to make big changes and they have to be fast. Yeah, great. I'm going to put the CSP back up on screen. Okay. When I do that, we know that our typical goal is to bring that fixed cost number down to 60%. Right. Okay. In your case, it's going to be a little different because you have debt,

which means that 60% is going to go up. We'll deal with it. Okay. Here we are. As a reminder, you're spending $120. percent of your take-home pay on fixed costs, unsustainable. You will lose your house very soon. So we're going to do an exercise where each of you bounces back and forth and you make a change to your CSP. So the goal here is to make big, bold changes fast. We don't want to get stuck in the

weeds. Who wants to start? Actually, I already know who wants to start. Blake, you're starting. We're going to sell some of her art supplies. No. The biggest change I feel like would be the house. You want to rent a smaller house? I just don't know if that makes it, the cost of moving, if we save $1,000 a month on a smaller place, that way we have talked about it.

I have talked about it and brought it up a lot. And what was your reaction? My reaction was just concerned that the cost of moving will mitigate any, savings throughout the next year. You were concerned. Yeah.

This is your way of not making changes. You express concern. Now, concern is fine, but concern is just like a way to put the brakes on any changes. I can tell you right now, you're moving costs, especially because you can economize, you're not getting these fancy movers. Move it yourself, okay? Saving $1,000 a month is huge. It compounds over time.

Huge. Massive in your case. Do you think that realistically you could find a place that you would save $1,000 a on thought. Close to it. I've been looking. And I want to stay in the same school district for the kids. Yeah. And I, we can. Great. How much? A thousand, 800? What's realistic? Let's say 800 to be conservative. Okay. Wow. That's a big change. Take a look at this number, the 102%. We're down to 94%. Going in the right direction. Well done. Nice. Freya, what do you got? Big changes. Well, like I said, the car. We could probably be fine with one car. It's hard,

but it's very suburban, so it can be tough, but we could do it. How much are you going to save? $480. You serious? $484.84 month. Actually, more too, because then our assurance will go down. Yes. Let's call it $500, just to be $136. Our gas prices will go up, though.

For sure. What's the number say? 89%. Well done. Keep going. What's next? Child care will be gone. Yeah, child care.

Let's mark it off. Because that, I mean, August. Child care. Okay. Occasional, yeah. Take the win. Zero.

Watch the numbers. We're down to 75%. This is actually going way better than I thought. I'm, I gotta take a second. Celebrate. This is crazy.

Okay, wow. It feels so much better. Oh, my phone already went down. It's only $80 a month now. Oh, really? Are you serious? Yeah. But I also found out I can go on a family plan

and it'll only be 120 on my phone. I just need to move you over. Let's do that. 120. Yeah. Watch. We're down now to 73. Okay, wow. What else? Keep going. Kids activities, sorry. I was waiting for that one.

Yeah? What do you want to put it at? Zero. Can I make a suggestion? Yeah. I'm always for cutting kids activities when you're in debt. But there's some other stuff here that's quite obvious that we could knock out first. Miscellaneous? What else? Miscellaneous? Like, in what world is a couple in almost 100K of debt spending $1,320 a month? A month? month on miscellaneous. No f*** way. Literally. I'm like, what even is it? No, like, what even is it? Like, what even is it? I don't even, yeah, what is this? We add that because couples don't, they, they're loose, they don't track it. And we know this because you used to spend double or triple on your groceries. A couple in this kind of debt cannot afford to have this loosey-goosey buffer. They are meticulous.

Yeah. Okay. In your case, like, we're talking about meticulous down to the level of we're not spending an extra 30 bucks out eating because the kids are crying. No, cry. We're going home. That's it. We're big snack packers. Is that plan? Yes. Okay. It's in your grocery. The eating out is us. A hundred percent. And that's something we need to just say now to. Love it. And can we, can we just flip that instead of we need to? Because we're not doing that anymore. We are going to. We will not be eating out anymore. I was a private chef. I cook. We'll have people over for dinner. Okay, great. Miscellaneous. I'm taking that down to 200 because I'll give you 200 a buffer. but that's it.

Oh my God. My books. 200, yeah, goodbye to books. Like, ever hear of a public library? Actually, hold on. I actually do that too. I read. Yeah.

Go to the library. I do. My dad. 200 bucks, watch the number. We're down to 62%. I actually cannot believe this. Me neither actually. And we're not even done.

Keep going. Don't stop. What else? Trim groceries a little bit? Yes. We can try. To 900? Oh, okay.

Yes. With four? With four people in a family. It's a little challenging. That's a little tough. But you're a chef. Yes. So like, come on.

No, I'm like, I can be more economical than I am. Can you make it 800? I wouldn't say this to a normal, like, family, but you're a chef. It's like, come on. Yeah, I have to just take the chef part out. Exactly. And do the production part only. Because that's where it gets me.

I'm like, I got grass fed. Yeah. No. I'll do a good budget and I'll do this shopping and end up that one day. Yeah, we can't do that anymore. It's really like the difference in, you know, a luxury hotel versus like, we're just here for a clean room and that's it. Yeah. Chicken breast and broccoli, it is.

Exactly. How much? Tell me. Let me. Let's do 900. I want to show you the reaction that you're giving me, which is you mentioned it earlier on for so much of life I have gone through basically trying to, like, I'll figure it out. Or how much can I get away with? And I think that's the energy you're bringing to this decision right now.

And I would like to encourage you to flip that. That energy of like, how much can I get away with? That actually does not work, because look where we are. How much can I add to paying off our debt by changing that? So tell me the number for groceries. Let's do $8.50. No. Go more aggressive.

You're way too smart. More aggressive. You're way too smart. Does that include wine? No, I'm guaranteeing you. It does not. Did everybody catch that audio? Does that include wine?

What's wine? Well, it's not either. What's mine? It's what, yeah, no, obviously. This is... Does that? No, he knew the answer. Does that include wine? Oh, my God. This is, I mean, I couldn't script it. Nope. It doesn't, it doesn't, yeah, it doesn't. And it doesn't include grass-fed beef, and it doesn't include... Y'all ever hear of Safeway? Lucky. Yeah, I actually stop at WinCo now.

WinCo. Love it. Bag your own groceries. I know it well. I discovered the bulk section. They're so good. They're cheap. Okay. So, 850 is... That's like how we got it down to the $1,200.

Okay. 8.50 is not enough. You need to go more aggressive. You're in serious financial straight. What is it? 750? Yes. 750.

And that's a peak. That's a peak. It will be no higher than $750. And if you can bring it down to $700 or even $6.50. I love this. I love a challenge. Yes. Let's see how long we get through everything in the pantry before I even go back to the grocery store.

Bingo. That's one of our... Bingo. If you can defray spending money, or simply avoid it for like the equivalent of three weeks or four weeks, that's literally thousands of dollars that you save. That money can go right towards debt. Yep.

That's how you do it. As you can see, we're making changes on the CSP, but these are actually lifestyle and attitude changes. And I can be creative enough to provide for this family, using my skills and paying the debt off aggressively. Well done. The number at 57%. Come on.

I think you all need to give yourself a round of applause so far. Good job. I can't even clap because I'm like, really? Can I, I really don't want to move. Okay? And that's fair.

We've moved a lot. We've moved our family so many times. So what are you going to do then? Because we need the number to be lower. Can we just see what it looks like if we keep the old rent? Yeah, what was it? 3480.

3480. All right, good question. I like that you're asking. No. Hey, can we talk about this or that? That's great. Takes you back up to 65%. Okay.

It's still not good. I also feel like I could make more money. Talk to me. Right now, I am working 10 hours a week. How much can you make? I mean, realistically, I could work 20 hours a week. I'd have to find a new source of that income, but I don't think it's an impossibility. I think I should be at least, at least able to bring that up to $3,200 a month.

$3,200 a month. Right? It's another $1,000 a month. Yeah. I could do that. Okay. And you're... I have to be more aggressive about the job.

So I'm going to hard code this in to be 10,800. Okay. It's not accurate, but it's in the ballpark. Yeah. Watch the number on fixed costs. 60%. Not bad. That's not bad.

Here's how I might think about it if I were in your situation. I might say, okay, we prefer not to move. However, we need to get these numbers aggressively down. Right. If you can find a job, in the next four weeks that generates $1,000 a month. Okay. Not 600, not $800, $1,000 gross, we can stay.

If not, we move. Like, that is the level of decisiveness that you bring to this problem. I like that. Okay. All right. I'll be very motivated to me. I've moved 20 times in my life. Okay.

Then it's very clear when he's adding. And your roles are very clear, which is like, you have to. provide the, you have to hit the numbers on the groceries and you have to find a job if you want this plan to work. And if not, you know exactly what it's going to, what you're going to do. Can I have an ask? Please. Can you help with the grocery stuff? Can we do that together? Yes. I hate doing it by myself. And then being also, it feels like, there's a lot of pressure to be like, I'm the only one to have to think. Does it need to be both of you or can you just delegate that?

Can he bring it and you cook? Let's make a menu together at least. What I would propose is that we make the minute together, use our skylight, and plug it in there, so we have all that stuff. There's less. Less loosey-goosey. I'm like, oh, I didn't plan today. Yeah. What's the skylight?

Oh, it's our scheduling. It's like a digital calendar. Oh, it's like the family. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But who's going to pick up the groceries? I don't mind doing it. I just feel like the planning part I would like to do together.

Okay, great. So you all need to make a time when you do it. It needs to be on the schedule. And there's no more unscheduled, like, random. Yeah, go run and get there. Oh, I decided I'm making this today instead. And because I do get tired of doing it sometimes, that happens. So it would be nice and I'd be nice to do it together.

All right, great. Let's get the kids involved. Let's look at the rest. Investments at $60. All right, fine, we can keep it. That doesn't really do anything, but okay. Savings are at zero. That's got a change.

I just want to point out, look at the bottom of the CSP. You currently have $4,000 a month. That does not feel like a real number. Yeah, it's real. How? Look at it. It's face. He's like, what the fuck?

How? You know how? By budgeting, I'm sorry, by having a CSP. Because you cut dramatically. Yes. You cut a lot. You cut a thousand dollars. You increase your income.

You may or may not cut the rent. You cut thousand bucks off of miscellaneous. And then hundreds and hundreds of dollars from various things. It's very impressive. That means you have $4,000 bucks a month to distribute. How do you want to use that money? Debt, savings. Good. Which one comes first?

Debt. No, savings. With the kids, I think it's really hard to have that like, oh, wow, they might not have a roof over their head. Yeah, that's a big problem. Yeah, so I feel like savings. I do agree that savings is more important right now. I can't believe I'm saying that to a couple in almost six figures of credit card debt, but the fact is you have two kids and you are almost out of your house. You cannot allow that to happen.

Do you see why I am moving so quickly you don't have time to decide about this or that, like you need the money now, which means any groceries that you were going to spend on, don't because you have the pantry. The car, get rid of it as quickly as possible, all these other changes, immediately stop and go back and double check the subscriptions

because even an extra $100 that you were about to spend, like the phone, you need it for savings. That's it. It's as simple as that. You have to attack it with ferocity. Yeah. Okay. I think that we would want to look at a debt payoff plan, but in your case, you can call the credit card and talk to them about you're in a hardship.

You need to make a plan that works with them and what can they do for you. Okay. Okay. So there's several things. Your credit is going to be in trouble. Yeah. It's already gone to collection. So even moving is going to be challenging for you.

That's what, yeah. That's what's happened. So my credit is good. Yours is, yeah. Right now. But we're trying, and we're trying to keep it that way. Yeah.

So. Yeah. Call them. Use the scripts from chapter one of my book. You're going to have to spend at least a couple of thousand bucks a month to pay that debt off. I shouldn't say at least. You can spend less. They will let you.

You can use the debt payoff calculator on my website. And that will allow you to see how long until your debt is paid off. Right. Guys, with thousands of dollars, a month. You could pay that relatively quickly. Yeah. Especially if your income goes up even. And I love that idea. I love that idea. You might have noticed that I didn't allocate the perfect amount for them to put in their debt payoff plan. Why? It's kind of like you buying one of those

take and bake pizzas. You know, they're made, but you take it home and put it in your oven. You get a sense of satisfaction from doing it yourself. There is something to that here. I need them to go through the calculator themselves. I need them to realize that it's going to take months, actually years, to pay off this debt. And hey, if we put an extra 200, it will shave that down by six years. It is important for them to get their hands dirty,

to get tactile, to get involved. And that is true for so many parts of money. We're not just looking for some AI tool to do the whole thing for us. I want you in there, feeling it, baking it, even if you need a little help so that you know what it takes. takes to be successful.

The real game changer would me in full time. Can you do it? I can go full throttle. Trying to find a full time position. I run my own company now with a partner. But it is a hustle.

And it's some good months, some bad months. And so we tried to come up with the number here. But when I go in-house as a creative director, it's usually a 200, $250 salary. Can we just do this now?

Send a text message right now. Lock it down. That is the biggest thing you could possibly do. Yeah. Especially for 401K and all the things that come with it.

I've never made this little money in my life. And so now it's like, I think that for me is the fastest sort of thing. Yes. What are the possibilities knowing the economy

and your space? How likely is it? that you could get a job like that? I mean, if I go, I think, probably 75, 80%. And, like, within, like, how long do you think? Six months a year? I think within three to six months. Wow.

I mean, that's really like... Is that surprising? I was shocked, yes. I mean, everyone says it takes, but I, you know... Do we all agree that that is the route to take? Yeah. You agree. Do you agree?

Yeah. Okay, done. Amazing. Okay. Blake can go out and seemingly earn tens of thousands of dollars more in a new job. That doesn't happen very often. That's not for everybody. But it is for them. And the fact that they haven't done that yet, that he hasn't done it, is actually what I want you to take away from this. Oftentimes, people's houses are burning down and there's a fire hose right there and

they don't even pick it up. You want to know why most of us are problem-oriented, meaning we love to talk about our problems. We agonize over them. We elaborate on them. But very few of us, I would estimate fewer than 5% of people, are solution-oriented, meaning we look for solutions. We try one. We try another. The interesting thing is we can be solution-oriented in one part of life, but not in another. And for whatever reason, money tends to be one of the primary areas that people are problem-oriented, but not solution oriented. If you've got a financial problem, you may have a solution right in front of you.

Forget about the fact that he can make $50,000 more. That's not the point. The question to apply to your own financial situation is do I have a fire hose right in my front yard and why am I not picking it up? Going full throttle on that would allow you to increase your income, your income would go up.

Your household income would massively, skyrocket and here's the key. Here's where you will likely fail unless you make a change. Can you tell me what it is? Sticking to the CSP and not be like, now we can spend $3,000. Because when you get back into the 175, 200, you're like, oh, let's like loosen up. Let's not. No. Usually couples, I go, yeah, you're spending, you're making more. Go ahead and spend a little bit more. In your case, it will actually be pure to just be like, we're not those people anymore. Yeah. For now, we are going to only focus on debt and save. We are not, it'll even seem nonsensical at points.

Yeah. What I would really love to do too is get the kids involved even this little. Tell me. Yes, tell me, how would you do it? My six-year-olds been asking for a bank account. Like he has a little notebook that he keeps all his little change in. And I was like, okay, you know, but I would love, you know, even when I said with the meal planning, let them out, let them pick out something that we can cook and they can, like, I'll even take them to the grocery store. Yes.

One at a time. But the only choices they have are like broccoli or rice. Yeah. with them. My kids love broccoli and rice. But yeah, but literally getting them involved and then when we say no, we can show them why. Yes. And they can have like a little savings account

and be like, no, let's put this dollar here and now look at your bank account. And I feel like that's something that you didn't sound like I certainly never got. It doesn't sound like you did. You all have a gift of an opportunity here which is to let them in on what's going on. Of course, they may not understand what $99,000 of debt is.

Maybe they don't even need to hear it at that age. But to tell them, look, right now we realize we need to make a change and we need your help. Can you help us? They'll be like, yes. Make them a sticker shirt. They can help. Exactly. They can be like, we didn't spend it.

You guys get a gold star mom and dad. And when you do that, yes, you're helping them, but actually you're helping yourselves. Yeah. Because your new identity as a couple who will not allow yourselves to stay in debt, you've now publicly told your kids that. So how can you go back on it? Can't. I think you have a very viable plan.

And I have to say I am pleasantly surprised and even shocked. The reason for this is twofold. One, on the income side, you both have the possibility and skills and you are willing to make more money. That's not easy. If your kids were a little younger, that wouldn't be possible. But you're in this place where, wow, you both can. do it and you're willing to do it. That's amazing. That's teamwork. Now, the only thing that

matters is will you actually stick to the plan? I mean, I want to stick to this plan. I'm going to stick to the plan. I feel. It's going to feel so much better. I mean, even, like, there's just no way it can't feel better than this. Oh, no. And if we're all about comfort, let's not be miserable every time we put our head out of a pillow and start having racing thoughts about this. Like, this is so stupid that we've been doing this. I'm putting just for sample $2,500 a month in savings. Okay. And you still have 1728.

You all can have a, how much you think you should have in guilt-free spending? Just a ballpark per month. Per month, like in our situation right now? Yes. 250. Great. What do you think? 250.

Yeah. Totally doable. Okay. That's an amazing answer. That's kind of like what I was thinking. And like 250, that's like, you know, one or two, one thing with the kids and maybe one thing for the two. And that's it. Yeah.

Can you do it? Because this is a different life than the kind you've been leading. Yeah. Yeah. You can do it. Do it. Then what that allows you is to have like roughly $1,500 a month even more to put between debt payoff and savings. Oh.

Okay. That's a lot. It's like, how do we not do this before? Yeah. You know, part of this, what's happening here is that when you are in it with your money, most people never zoom up to look at the bird's eye view. And even to be able to zoom up requires you to work through a lot of psychology and emotions and relational issues.

That's the thing because you get into it and then it becomes a you or you. And like, why did that was, you know, and to have this. like you said, birds-eye view and an objective view point. I also wanted to ask you if you wanted to move in with us for you want to want.

Yeah, getting a little extra rent would be smart. I do love to rent. Okay, I want to say that I'm so impressed at how far you've come on the CSP. The reason that we're able to make this plan, which just seemed to kind of breeze by,

in part is that you were willing to acknowledge certain change, the way you were brought, up the way that you need to relate to each other and the focus that it's not you versus you. It's we have a plan as a family. Yeah. This is our plan. What are we both going to do so that we can accelerate this plan?

I love a plan and I love the goal is so helpful because I feel like we didn't have, there wasn't a even goal really out loud said to work towards. So when it felt like we were saving or trying not to spend, I was like, why? What for? What's the angle? What is it going to look like if we do this? And we never did that. Yeah. And I wanted to say thank you to you for...

Oh, thanks, Pam. Pushing me into here and getting us... It was your book. Yeah. And I feel, you know, emotional about and about, you know, where we've been and how hard trying that is. Yeah. But I feel good walking out of here. Maybe a good cry after a little.

will be nice, but like to see the future selves that I know we are. We're good partners and we like each other and we have great kids and we can, you know, in a year or two, like look at what is that richer life, you know? Yes. I felt like I came into here very hopeless and helpless. Yeah. I felt helpless with a lot of this and just like small changes, big changes, but like on a grand scheme of things small, that we can do this. Great. Yeah.

Great. How about you? I feel quite emotional, to be honest. I mean, I'm on the brink of tears. How come? Yeah, because feeling helpless and just being, you know, like you mentioned, being siloed. And it's not a fun place to be, you know, to like be knowing you both have somewhat of the same vision or goal, but then you're just kind of working at it in two different ways.

So just having that, you know, that idea of partnership is kind of a beautiful thing. Yeah, it is. It's beautiful to see. I'm actually very confident in this couple. I would not have expected that looking at the severity of their situation, but their reactions really give me a lot of confidence. The fact that they both moved through the fixed cost aggressively, that they are both suggesting earning more money.

It's quite amazing, quite rare even on this show. When they walked in to talk to me today, they were not on the same page. They were siloed, not partners. Quite remarkable that by the end, they were encouraging each other. They were smiling. They were a team. I've shown them how to do it. Now it's up to them.

Hi, team. Hi, team. A little follow-up video here. We wanted to discuss our biggest surprises from the day now that we're back at home. Yeah. And I think for me, one of the biggest surprises was just how doable, how plausible the plan is now that we have it in place or that we have the information that we need, that we've looked at everything globally from a top-down level. Yeah. I think that my biggest surprise was how accessible it felt when we went through the numbers with me and like line by line.

We're like, okay, we can make this change, this change. At the end of it, I was like, oh, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'll say that was my biggest surprise. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. It doesn't feel insurmountable. Yeah, just doable. Yeah. Not easy.

Not a cakewalk. No. But doable. Yeah. Especially if there's partnership involved. Yes. I think that was another big takeaway, I would say. Is that how much of it needs to be a team effort and not.

one person doing, trying to do the work, the other person avoiding, like we really have to figure out a way to do this together. We're getting there. It's going to take time. But I think that was one of my biggest takeaways. And that, you know, just to attack it like, what am I to do list? And just line by line, go down, make the changes. It's just interesting to look back at that experience that we had with Remate that day and then see how many of those behavioral patterns actually extend into my life in general and not just in the finance world. So big takeaway there that I need to make some fundamental changes in how I operate

behaviorally on a day-to-day and big picture. So that was a real awakening and thankful to have had that moment and that clarity there. Definitely have decided on some changes. to make. Going down to one car and probably in the next month or two. Yeah.

Grocery bill. I'm taking on the challenge of getting that down really, really, like in half almost of what we were spending. So that is two goals that we have right now.

I know the specific change is just to really be more mindful of our mislaina spending. Yeah. It's so easy. Just a little thing. that just creep in.

The little thing is to grab the little thing here when you're shopping and a little $20 here and $30 there. So really trying to hung that in. I always feel like we need to do like a jar, like a swear jar, but except it's like when we buy something misoilious, we have to return it or if we want to buy

to put that melt in a jar. Not a terrible idea. Oh my God, it's like children. Yeah, I think those are the big changes that we've decided to make. We're excited enough to move. I'm going to stick it out here. And we're open to that.

We still look on Zillow. All the time. All the time being, though. For the time being. Oh, and work. Work. I mean, I personally have, you know, did all the things I need to do with my portfolio and my LinkedIn and my resume. So I'm ready to, like, jump in and really start trying to find what work and increase our income.

Yeah. Increase income. Yeah. That's a big priority, which will really help. Everyone knows that. And I've even started putting out the feelers and saying out loud that I am aggressively pursuing opportunities. Rather than just putting out feelers? Rather than putting out feelers actually saying it out loud and contacting people started back.

So that is, feels good. Bees continue, we'll continue. But just saying it out loud. letting people know it has been a good first step. Yeah, thanks. Thanks so much. Bye, guys. See you soon.

Hi guys, we're back to report on our financial journey since we went with you guys last. Talk about some small wins and areas we still need to work on. So small wins been really busy, have won a lot of jobs recently, so income has been coming in. That feels right. Yeah. small wins for me or my checklist because all the wins are for us. I do have a job interview next week which checks all the boxes for our schedule that we needed and we'll help with the income and it got the grocery bill down to not 7.50 but I got it down to 8. Was

817 or 818? Something like that which I thought was almost impossible but I did it. and oh I managed to get $1,500 and sock it away into a high-yield savings account not touched to kind of build on our savings and yeah the car oh the car yeah

so we have to finish out our lease which is in October but after October we will become a single car family we've already been trying to practice that and it's tougher than I thought it would be but we're really going to try and stick it out for now Yeah. Oh, we paid our last month of preschool payment this month. So that's off the decks as well.

That's off the decks. Things to work on my debt I need. That is on my list of things to do. I've read the chapters. I've Googled some stuff. I've talked to a lawyer. I have put the list down of everyone need to call. So that is on my list. Tomorrow morning, 8 o'clock. My own call. You've heard it here. You hear it here. Hold me to it. Hold me to it. I will. And then also need to work on the weekly financial check-in as well.

It's been hard with the scheduling, but we're working on it. Thanks again for all of your health and kind of like the nudges that we needed to go on the right direction. Keep nudger. Thank you. Bye, guy. Listen up. If you want my help with your specific money questions, there are only two. there are only two ways to get it. First, you can apply to be on this podcast at IWT.com slash apply.

Or second, you can join my money coaching program instantly at IWT.com slash money coaching. In that program, you get access to live virtual events, monthly group coaching calls, live Q&As, and an amazing, huge community of other people like you. Check it out at IWT.com slash money coaching.