IELTS Speaking for Success - 🤣 Telling jokes (Part 1) + Transcript

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

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Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IG Private Wealth.com.

Hello, lovely, I'm Maria. And I am current ruler of the underworld, Rory Duncan. And we are the hosts of the IEL Speaking for Success podcast. The podcast that aims to help you improve your speaking skills, as well as your listening skills along the way. We started this podcast to give you super grammar and fabulous vocabulary for your high IELS school. Your pant nine score.

Oh, Rory, I've got a joke for you. I've got a joke for you. Is that because this episode is about jokes? It's about jokes, dear listener, yeah, and you know that this podcast gives you super jokes, hilarious jokes, which means like very funny jokes. No, you don't think the jokes are funny? Well, but, you know, some jokes are funny. Well, jokes are funny or not depending on the person, which requires some critical thinking.

And you can crack a joke during the test, especially if the topic is jokes. You know, the examiner will ask you questions about jokes. So crack a joke. Tell a joke. And the examiner goes like, oh, Nekar, let's talk about jokes. Are you good at telling jokes? And you say, oh, of course I am.

Check this out. And then bam, you tell the examiner a joke. And the examiner just dies because the joke is so horrible. Yeah, I'm going to tell you a few good jokes at the end of the episode. Rory. Please do. Because don't joke with the examiner and the examiner. No, like why not?

You know, it's about jokes. Are you good at telling jokes? I like to think so. Even though they don't always land with people, I can usually get at least a chuckle out of someone. Have you ever watched a live comedy show? I have. I've seen several, actually.

And I always make the mistake of sitting in the front row or some other visible place and getting picked on by the comedian, which is both hilarious and mortifying. Do you like to watch comedies? Yeah, they're a nice way to lift my mood if I'm feeling a bit down. I'm watching one with my pals at the moment called Shrinking, which is about this group of therapists and what they get up to,

and that's quite fun. It's like a laugh a minute almost. Do your friends like to tell jokes? I think so, though maybe not quite at the rate I do. I think they usually tell humorous anecdotes rather than delivering one-liners, but everybody likes making people laugh, don't they? Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice.

I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setting. An IG private wealth advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center.

Find your advisor at IGPrivatewealth.com. As you know, we now release all of our premium content for free, and it's available for one month. After one month, it goes into our super secret archive. To sign up for the archive, click the link in the description below. See you soon. Do listen, we tell jokes. Okay?

Might be a bit strange, so we don't say it. jokes, we tell jokes. Tell jokes or crack jokes. We can make jokes. So make jokes, tell jokes, crack a joke. All right. And jokes could be funny. Funny jokes, hilarious, jokes, good jokes, or dirty jokes. But we only talk about the first ones. Yeah, unfortunately, Rory doesn't let me. Not a good idea. He controls everything I say. Seriously, Dele-San, I just, I don't have any freedom here on the podcast. Thanks, Angels, I could talk about a half-naked guy in that commercial.

Oh, coming back to this again, great. Very appropriate. In Diet Coca-Cola commercial. DeLisna, did you watch the commercial? Oh, come on. A very common topic in Ayat's is to talk about an advertisement you like or is annoyed about. So please watch a Diet Coke commercial with a half-naked guy. So, you can say I'm not good at cracking jokes.

I don't do that. Or I think so. Like, sometimes I am. Like, are you good at telling jokes? Yes, I am. No, I'm not. Some jokes don't always land with people. So if you tell a joke, no one loves.

So this is the worst that can happen. You tell a joke. you want people to laugh. Ha ha ha, how funny, you know. But no one loves like it's silence. So the joke doesn't land well with people. People don't understand the joke, so they don't get the joke. And it doesn't land.

Yeah, it doesn't land well. And usually people laugh at jokes. Oh, they laugh at my jokes. Like people don't usually laugh. at my jokes. Or they don't get my jokes. They don't understand my jokes. So they don't get it.

Or if someone tells a joke and then like, ooh, like, I don't understand. You say, oh, I don't get it. Could you explain it to me? Yeah, that's why I explain the jokes. You see, the listen. Just in case. Because sometimes it's a language joke and, yeah. Rory, but if some people laugh, if I go like,

something like this, what do you call this? And you chuckle! I've got a chuckle out of you. If you make someone laugh a little bit, then you get a chuckle out of them. Yeah, chuckle is like laugh, but it's like laugh quietly. Like he-he, not just laugh quietly, but like a laugh quietly, chuckle. So some people chuckle at my jokes. Some people chuckle nervously. Or like he gave a chuckle. He just laughed quietly. comedy shows, you're listening. Like, some people are comedians. You might listen to English comedians,

comedians in your country, comedians, people who do comedy. So a life comedy show. You go somewhere to watch people tell jokes from stage, watch some comedians, life, a life comedy show. Maybe you don't do it, you've never done it, right? Or you can say, I never listen to any comedians. I don't like life comedy show.

comedy shows, I think they're stupid. Yeah. Oh, I've been to some really bad ones. So it was horrible. And I stayed. Like, you know, I stayed there. Oh, it was a torture. And like, why didn't I leave? I don't know.

I remember one time our producer, Vanya, took me to a Russian comedy show once. And that was crazy. And of course, for those of you who don't know, I have also been in a comedy show as a performer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sexy. In the New York comedy club. Ooh, look at you.

And that video is never seeing the light of day. Oh, look at you, Rory, as a comedian. Yeah, that's your next job, Rory, in the next episode. No, it's not. And Rove is a comedian, yeah. That was one of the wildest things I've ever done, and I am never doing that again. Bravo, no, I'm proud of you, really. Because I made a mistake.

No, it was experienced. like, do you listen, can you imagine just go there on stage and just crack jokes? Like, I can do that, right? But... No, no, it was worse than that because I thought that's exactly what I was going to do. I wrote a set and I thought I was going to just do that. So I practiced it. And then I arrived and the person that was doing the show said,

okay, everybody, we're doing Hot Topic. You know what that is? And I said, no, I don't know what that is. And she said, oh, okay, well, everyone in the audience is an experienced comedian. they're going to shout random topics at you and you have to improvise. And I was like, I see. Why do they do that? Well, it's a normal thing to do to help performers improve.

But obviously, I didn't read the terms and conditions when I signed up to this thing. And I was just like, oh my God, okay. Only two people in the world have seen the video to that. And they all agreed that it was 50-50. 50% of the time the jokes landed and people laughed And 50% of the time they bombed And the jokes did not laugh Wow

Anyway, I made a mistake Or, and you can make the mistake of doing something Like the mistake of sitting in the front row at a comedy show Yeah, you go to a show and you are sitting there right up front And usually the comedian looks at you And well, makes jokes about you sometimes You know, so you get picked on by the comedian. So if you get picked on by the comedian, the comedian makes jokes about you.

Sometimes not very good jokes, like very offensive and you feel hurt, you know. So they kind of like peek on you. So pick on somebody is not good when like you tell horrible jokes about this person. But this could be very funny to everybody else. So this is hilarious. Ha ha ha, ha. Hilarious, very funny. But it could also be mortifying.

When the comedian picks on you, the comedian says, oh, yeah, like look at his tattoos, you know, and he makes a joke. And everybody laughs and you kind of like look at your tattoo and says, well, I like my tattoo. Stop kind of picking on me. Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids. And I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime.

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It could be humiliating. So it could be a mortifying experience because everybody loves at you. So if you are not confident, then it could be mortifying, horrible. We watch comedies like films, comedy films. And they lift my mood. I like comedies.

They lift my mood. They improve my mood. When I feel a bit down, when I feel sad, depressed, comedies improve my mood. They make you feel better. They make me feel better. Now I'm watching da-da-da-da about da-da-da-it's great fun.

It's a laugh a minute. What's that? Well, if something is a laugh a minute, then they're constantly funny. My friends tell humorous anecdotes. Funny stories. Yeah, funny stories. And it's interesting that an anecdote in English is a story. Why?

What is it in a different language? But a story is kind of like a made-up. up story or a story about you, like your experience? It's a story about what happened to you or something you heard happened. But it's usually kind of true or half true. Yeah, maybe slightly embellished, which just means exaggerated. Because in your language, it might mean something different, right? So an anecdote, a short, often funny story, especially about something someone has done.

So we tell amusing anecdotes. but what do you call like a kind of a joke if I say oh I'm going to tell you a joke like once upon a time there was a frog who did that then she does that and ha ha ha so would you call it like is it a joke an anecdote I think that's more of a joke I think tell me the joke one more time no like I can't come up with a joke okay what do you expect on this podcast about jokes actual jokes okay okay Okay, okay. So, for example, yeah, there we go. I'm ready now. I'm ready. So is this a joke or an anecdote? Okay. My husband told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer. Oh my God. Right. So is this a joke or an anecdote? Well, that's not an anecdote. That is a joke. This is a joke. All right. Okay. But if I tell you, okay, once I went traveling by bicycle and

And I was driving along the road. One guy opened his car door, and I just flew from my bike and landed on the road. So that's an anecdote. Yes, that is. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Now, that funny story about Maria, traveling by bicycle. Funny story about Maria almost dying. Yes. So do you listen to the joke about the spider. Did you get it? So my husband told me to take the spider out. Spider, you know, like at home, you see a spider. You take it out instead of killing him.

Take spider out could also mean go out with the spider. You know, like you go out with your friend. And then the joke continues, yeah, we went out to kind of to a cafe, had a few drinks. Nice guy, this spider. He's a web designer. Spiders have webs, right? So he's a web designer, this spider.

Right, okay. So this is a joke and people laugh at jokes or no one loves at jokes. Right. Okay, de Liszt, how are you doing? Are we ready for some other jokes? So when you, okay, for first, teaching some English words. So, Rorya, when you go to a hospital and they want to, take a scan of your body

they put you in a special machine what do you call it? It could be a cat scan or an MRI it depends on what it is or an x-ray as well. MRI MRI, MRI machine it scans everything in your body and the first one. And for

magnetic resonance imager, a cat scan, I don't know what that stands for. Yeah, cat scan. I am going to say it's like controlled amplification technique or something like What is it? Oh, it's not. It's computed axial tomography.

Oh, okay. A medical imaging procedure that uses a combination of x-rays and computer processing to create highly detailed images of the inside of your body. Right, exactly. So the jokies, Dioces, we don't know anything about medicine. So, so, so, so, so, the joke is, dogs can't operate MRI machines, but cats can. So, oh my God.

So dogs and cats. So we have MRI machines and we have this cat scan. But it's a kind of scan. So dogs and cats, dogs can't operate MRI machines, but cats can do it. Cats can. It's wild, Maria. Thank you. Wild and crazy.

As you listen to our episodes, you can choose your favorite joke. Yeah, I understand that many jokes are horrible, but again... Many of them. Many, yeah, but they're English jokes, you know. It's your language. You are to blame. Yeah, so you can choose one or two of the jokes that you like, and you can crack them during the test if the examiner asks you questions about jokes.

Radio listener. Thank you very much for listening. We'll get back to you in our next episode. Okay? Bye. What do you call a blind idea? No idea. Oh my God. Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh. Then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my out of office has a forever setter.

An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivatewealth.com. Are you good at telling jokes? I like to think so. Even though they don't always land with people, I can usually get at least a chuckle out of someone.

Have you ever watched a live comedy show? I have. I've seen several, actually, and I always make the mistake of sitting in the front row or some other visible place and getting picked on by the comedian, which is both hilarious and mortifying. Do you like to watch comedies? Yeah, they're a nice way to lift my mood if I'm feeling a bit down. I'm watching one with my pals at the moment called Shrinking, which is about this group of therapists and what they get up to, and that's quite fun. It's like a laugh a minute, almost. Do your friends like to tell jokes? I think so, though maybe not quite at the rate I do. I think they usually tell humorous anecdotes rather than delivering one-liners, but everybody likes making people laugh, don't they?

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