If I Speak - 104: Why are Brits flocking to Dubai?

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

Moya and Ash wonder what’s attracting young British ex-pats (and influencers) to cities like Dubai and Bali. Is emigration the new face of aspiration? Plus: a dilemma about being stuck in a dead-end job – or so it seems. Got a dilemma? Email [e-mail] Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ […]

Hello. Hello. I can't remember the lines in the song. Is it me you're looking for? Is that different one? Okay. Okay. I'm getting dementia.

I've forgotten Lionel Richie. I'm getting, my dementia is really kicking in if I can't remember Lionel Richie music. If you can remember, what are we doing here? We're recording a podcast that goes out to currently I think between 11,000 and 12,000

listeners every week. I want more. We do want more. Share it with a friend. Share it with a friend. Come see us in July at Crossed Wise Festival in Sheffield

I think on the 4th of July. Yeah. Yeah, well, that was in my brain. Yeah, share with a friend. Why don't you actually do that? Listeners, if you're really that special and you want to prove your fealty to us, why do you send it to a mate today?

Theelty, you know. My God, all right. This is a cult mate. My liege lord. I have questions for you. No, no, no, no, no. You are the liege lord too. You're a consort.

No, no, no. I'm a scheming eunuch today. When are you going to depose me? Any minute now, my liege. Right, scheming, eunuch. Okay. Question one. This is, of course, 73 questions minus 70,

which is our quick fire round question one. Spring has sprung. I can see sunlight. I can see croakest. is. Yeah. What is your favourite spring thing? I feel like you might have asked me that before, but I don't mind because it will change

every year. Oh. Cleaning out my closet. I'm sorry, Mama. I have to do a spring clothes clean over the last year. I did obviously like a lot of cleaning when I moved, cleaning out. I've done several culls. but once again winter, end of summer, autumn has proven to me what garments I do wear and what I do not wear.

So I've got some winter clothes to get rid of that I did not wear. I've got some summer clothes to get rid of that, or spring clothes I want to get rid of, that I think will go to a better home. And I always think these are charities shops, but I always think, I bet there's a lot of special ones or someone out there who'd actually quite like to rummage through these. Because they're good clothes a lot of the time. It's good shit. Just not for me. so maybe I'll do a I don't need to sell them but I quite like to do a special one giveaway

yeah I'll do a special one grab bag you can come by my apartment and grab some clothes alright question two what album have you been listening to most recently um not really okay so because obviously my album of the day challenge which has turned to album the week challenge because I've been so busy work I haven't listened to music

for pleasure for like a week and a half now um And the music I have listened to has been, I've been in the SoundCloud minds again because my club night's coming back. So I've been mining SoundCloud, so it's been a lot of remixes. So the most recent album album I listened to

was Pink Panther's Fancy Some More. Which you actually, I think, would like quite a lot because it's all inspired by Nathalda. Well, this is the sort of thing that you pointed out, which is the different sides of pop culture the occupies. I've been listening to Baby Keem's album. casino oh my gosh because um annie loves baby keem because the kendrick connection i love baby keem

imagine that's also for you yeah question three um as eagle-eared listeners may have picked up you are currently loved up has we laugh that changed how you give advice on the pod I imagine so it was actually a special when he first picked up that I was dating someone seriously rather than just my normal things and they came to an event and they said

you're the way you talk about dating has got way more optimistic are you dating someone I was like oh clocked clocked I think it has changed yeah well I've changed advice in some ways I think there's a slight

cynicism that would have been mellowed by it and also things that you forget when you're not in relation to another person, which is actually something I say a lot. There's things that you only remember when you're in relation to someone else, whether romantically or in friendships, and those things are different depending on the connection. There'll be things about, you know, having regular sex that will be changing the way I give advice,

things about, you know, handling conflict. I do stand by like 99% of what I say, though, about being single and dating. Like I've written a substack recently where I say, if I go the majority of my life single it would be a great life. Like I love both states. They're very good states.

And yeah, I mean, the only things that I have probably changed my opinion and advice on is prescriptiveness. Prescriptiveness. I'm very rigid about the way I think about things and that's not very good and conducive to dating,

which is why I ceded on your idea of the ambiguous first date. We love ambiguity. I just want to say that as a spectator it's been very enjoyable to watch. Well, I have a

funny thing to tell you after the pod which you'll enjoy. Great. Now you've got to take it from here. No, no. You're too busy thinking about my boyfriend. No, I wasn't thinking about that actually. I was thinking about the thing I'm going to tell you

about after the pod which relates to a deep interest of yours actually. Do I have to take it from here. What if we just let the audience take over and the rest of the podcast? It's like John Cage 433, you know, like it's not really silence. It's whatever sound you're bringing to it. Fill in your own. This is where your imagination takes. Listeners. Let your imagine, imagine take, what am I saying? Let your imagination take over. Whatever you think we'd be

talking about for the next 45 minutes. That's what we're talking about. Okay. This has been, if I speak, that was great. Bye. Bye. right, fine. I have an intrusive thought. And it is an intrusive thought spurred on a little bit by current events, which recently, I don't know what's happening by the time this comes out, but recently, uh, as you might know, Iran has been cornered. The US and Israel have attacked Iran.

This at the time of recording was the lay of the land. and Iran retaliated by doing a lot of drone and missile strikes in various Gulf states. Iran went on TripAdvisor, looked at the top five hotels in Dubai and like plugged the coordinates into their shaheads. I think they're claiming they're striking like air bases, but I don't know if the Palm Jumria Hotel is an airbase. Anyway, whatever. Iran's been doing some strikes. And those strikes have hit places that aren't used to being struck, like Dubai. And because of that, there's been a lot of jokes about the amount of British influence. in Dubai who are like, ah, this is a war zone. What the hell? My content's interrupted,

which I think can be a bit uncharitable, but I also quite like laughing at influences in Dubai. But this has made me think, right? It kind of crystallised a nascent or a latent, actually, thought in my head, which is about the increasing spectre of the aspirational escape, the medium term to long term not short term not a holiday but a move and at the end of last year there were several articles that appeared

which proclaimed there was an exodus movement of job people there was I don't you really reminded me of my own mum doing that I was like she can't hear like there's certain words that she can't hear

she can't hear the word buffalo and she can't hear the word exodus without doing a Bob Marley How old is your mother? I'm interested. She's 67. Yeah, my mum's about telling you a little bit still. We also grew up on the old Bob's.

Bob's your uncle, literally. Bob's your uncle. So, mixed race king. Well, mixed race man with a complicated legacy. But people forget he was mixed. He was like me. Guys, he was like the same colour as me. Okay, he's in my pantheon.

Anyway. Anyway, so there was an exodus. of Brits who emigrating to different countries and particularly British people under 30. I think it was something close to 190,000, yes. I don't know how to say numbers. British nationals left in the 12 months from June 2024 to June 2025. However, when you dig into the numbers, it's hard to really peg down what British nationals are because the O&S, which is the Office of National Statistics, has changed

the methodologies, who they count as a British national, etc, etc. Is that the first ONS mention on this pot? Maybe we should have a O&S. Right, right. Statistics. Anyway, it's hard to track. I won't get into it. But one thing I have noticed anecdotally is an uptick of peers and people on social media who look to be my age, who are shouting about moving abroad. This is probably a trend that began in the pandemic. with old digital nomad shit. It was likely happening before then, but it really kicked into gear.

But now there are very specific camps of people, tribes, if you will, who are moving to certain destinations that have become, I guess, more prevalent, more desirable. And there was a whole heap of connotations associated with those destinations. In short, it's not like the Brits are equally going to all these different places around the world. It's like there's certain places where you're seeing an influx of British people. And it isn't just the south side of Glasgow. So a little game, a mini game interaction, interactive, interactive element for you, Ash, and the listeners at home. If I say, so-and-so has moved to Dubai,

what kind of associations do you make with what that person, who that person is? a crypto slash influencer who's possibly been scammed into doing some sex work glorious teeth interesting yeah I was thinking of the veneers

I thought veneers immediately that was my first foremost thought I thought influencer veneers some sort of yeah you're right it's not even a scam in my mind it is a there is an illusion of wealth they do not have and they're going to seek it

okay next one Barley. Banana pancake trail. What does that mean? You never heard of the banana pancake trail? No, tell us all. The banana pancake trail is basically a sort of like tourist route through Southeast Asia, which they call the banana pancake trail, because that's the way in which

locals cater to Western tastes. So very, very often women who have gotten a bit into yoga and have realized that they can do their job remotely, smoothies and banana pancakes. Yeah, dead on. I mean, I think wellness, I think has got, I think Jim Bunny pretending to be wellness,

but really eating disorder. That's what I think about barley. If I went anywhere, I don't want to go there at all. I have no inclination or no desire, but I worry if I was sorted by the sorting hat. They'd be like barley. Bali.

Okay, Australia. Give us our doctors back. Yeah. Yeah, it's either doc, it's like health people, bit wellnessy, fitness shit is what I think of Australia. I think either tradies or fitness shit. And sometimes those things cross over. Doctors, tradies, fitness shit. There's an intersection there.

Paris. I don't actually know people who've been doing the move to Paris. No, neither do I. That's why I threw it was a rogue one. Whereas I do know people who move to Marseille. Yes, tell me about Marseille. Marseille is would like Paris

but think it's too full of tourists and that they're too cool for it and also it's very very expensive Marseille is like you move to Marseille and you say things like no one ever told Marseille that it's not in North Africa like you know it's truly a Mediterranean Yeah

Yeah And you know how I know that Because I've said those words before Yeah Marseille is the Especially I think it is like the people of colours expat. If you're going to be people of colour

expat and I use that word just deliberately because there is a difference between people who think of themselves as migrants and expats and you can be a migrant in one country and expat another and it's all based on currency and financial dynamics in my mind yeah okay that was the little quiz so I'm interested in breaking down

how emigration has become an aspiration maybe again because if we think about British history maybe England not so much but a little bit but Scotland definitely Wales Ireland when it was forced to be part of our colony there was huge amounts of immigration

right and also domestic immigration but whatever what are different groups of young people attaching to the idea of immigration and why what do these countries in vogue for Brits say about which nations have positioned themselves to be on top culturally

and align themselves with the Western ideas of aspiration. And I want to talk about guilt, which is attached to leaving and the ennui of staying put, which I can't spell. And of course, I'm sure we'll get onto the colonial hangover. Ash, where would you like to begin with talking about immigration? I mean, I have some serious points to me. Yay!

But before I do that, I want to ask you a question. Yeah, let's go. Which is, do you fantasise about moving somewhere, which is culturally very, very different from the country you live in? And if so, where? Guess what? This is my secret shame. No. My secret shame, which I think I've mentioned before, is like George Orwell, a little bit, I fucking love Britain.

I am really British. English. Well, maybe fucking a little bit English. A bit English. We've talked about this for like the Englishness that I have. I am English but I do you know Britain as a whole I'm in toxic bondage to this country and I'm sure I could live somewhere else and love it and I'm sure I often this is why I feel bad about liking living in Britain or at least not wanting to move. I have my roots here. I have my networks of people which is really important to me.

I have familiarity, security, my gym. a really good career. And the thing is, I'm sure I'd be way happy in a country where I can get sun all the time. I'm made for the sunshine. I'm made for the beach. I come out like a flower. It's beautiful.

But there is a lot I love about this country that I find impossible to tear myself away from and I feel really boring and small because of that. And it's a real shame of mine. I feel really shamed. I mean, look, you're talking to someone who hasn't moved from the city of her birth, all right?

And I feel no shame about that, right? I love London and I also think I've got an experience of London, which is really, like, privileged in the sense that having been able to stay here, I've managed to have a continuity of relationships, which has been really, really nurturing and supportive. So, like, I don't, I don't judge that at all. I also think that, like, cultural familiarity and a feeling of cultural belonging. is really, really important.

It's, you know, it's remarkable to me that people have the bravery to move to places where they don't feel a sense of cultural fluency. I don't have that. And maybe it's because there's more ego for me tied up in like mastery of language and being able to read social cues and I can't imagine what it would be like to,

you know, I don't have enough of a sense of self in other parts of my personality so that I'd be really scared of let go of that. But I think, again, there's nothing to be ashamed of. But when I think about, you know, the fantasy of like, oh, you know, we could just go anywhere. I think Rome, I think Rome might be one of the most beautiful

and sort of like fantastic in the sense of like connects with some kind of fantasy that exists in my head. And there's something about, you know, a little espresso, in a chic little biscuit in the morning, propped up at a bar and like, you know, those sandwiches and pizza by the tile. But would you actually want to live there? Because I'm like, I would go and stay someone for several months.

There's loads of countries. I'm like, I'd love to have my, you know, Tuscan countryside or North Italy in the mountains. Oh, I'd love to spend a summer by the lakes. But do I want to live there? I mean, I don't want to live anywhere other than the place where I live. There you go. And I know that.

But when I'm talking about like fantasies of escape, right of which I think everyone has even if they know that they're the place where they're going to be happiest I think of Rome but serious point time right I'm serious points I'm so right I'm I'm literally girded good good good good good um good good um right serious point is this what you are looking at as the relationship between geographic mobility and social mobility um like that's the heart of this whole thing and where people feel that their opportunities for social mobility are limited or non-existent, but they have enough money to be able to leave the place where they grew up and leverage the currency dominance that the pound still exerts comparable to other currencies, well, then you see geographic mobility.

And that makes sense. I mean, the people I know who have done the whole, like, digital. Nomad, Wi-Fi tribe, banana pancake thing, they don't necessarily have super well-paid jobs. And actually, those are jobs which are like somewhat precarious. Like because they're so laptop-based and because they are so disconnected from building up an institution or an organization which can have social value and power on its own right, they're really vulnerable to things like AI.

Like, so yes, there is this huge privilege that they exert relative to the local population of the place in which they're living, but they are still this kind of white-collar precaria, which is connected to changes in the labour market back at home, which I think is such an interesting position to be in. And I think that, you know, there are probably things that will make it more or less likely that you do the digital nomad thing.

Do you want to have kids soon, right? Then probably you're not going to do it. you know if you have a skill like a trade that's really difficult to take away because there are different regulations and norms and certificates and qualifications so you're probably you know better off holidaying in many of these places right so it still has a kind of cultural draw because it's been expatified but but you can't actually live there and obviously if you have a prospects for career development here in the UK, you're also probably not going to leave

unless it's a country that you really, really want to move to for whatever reason. But that sort of like a peripatetic lifestyle of I'm going to live in a region, right? Really hard to do. If you're, if you've got prospects for development in a particular place.

Trying to think about what else. I mean, I think there is also this element of fantasy and the fantasy of the place that you're staying, which is cultivated by national governments. So the reason why Dubai is Dubai is because the UAE designed it to be that way. And the UAE was like, okay, we need to have a form of power, which isn't just based on oil and, you know, location and our strategic importance to America and Western powers.

we also need to have something else. We need to be able to project our soft power abroad. Because also look at what America does with its allies, which don't have this sort of soft power. So for Dubai, by basically having a 0% tax rate, and by building these like gaudy playgrounds, it's able to attract people who, you know, I think there's something interesting, right?

like in Dan Evans' nation of shopkeepers, he talks about, you know, the rise of the petty bourgeoisie. I would imagine that lots of the influences and the kinds of people who end up moving to Dubai have their origins in that like petty bourgeois class layer here in the UK. But they're sort of attracted by, you know, it's been designed for them.

Gym, air conditioning, pool, fillers, 0% tax you know you don't have to engage with the you know it can be pleasingly culturally different if you want right there's a sort of like theme park orientalism

that you can engage with if you want but if you don't want to you really don't have to engage with the fact that you know the UAE is like profoundly culturally different from the place where you grew up because it's it's designed Dubai to be a playground for Westerners I think I really want to talk about Dubai and Australian in particular Because I think those two say a lot about as trending countries for Brits to move to,

young Brits to move to. I think they say a lot about what is, what young Brits being told about like social mobility, opportunity, fluidity, what matters in life. And I think Dubai represents sort of like the rapacious accumulation of wealth and a shortcut. It's like shortcutting wealth. people go out there so it seems sort of like a wild west almost and that you go out there you make your fortune

you send you come back home I've met lots of people who live in Dubai and who were working as teachers but they're you know just earning enough and they said oh I'll go get a house back home in a few years that's the idea and you do you do sort of like as you say

cosplay as a rich person out there even though your money doesn't go as far Australia I think represents a focus on health. I really think that. I think it's, I don't think it's the truth of Australia, but I think it's sold to people and the way people market it. And I want to talk about the way these places market themselves. Because you talked a bit about Dubai and like, you know, seen as this playground, but also the idea of optimism involved in marketing Dubai. Um, and indulgence with Dubai was

Australia is about discipline. It's about running by the beach. It's about sun. It's about, even though Australia is a fucking country that has loads of alcohol problems. There's a reason they they make drugs cost so much there because everyone's fucked all the time. But I was going to say, another thing that you need to bear in mind is that with Australia, lots of people have some familiarity with it. Yeah, because it's a visa that's available to tourists to do like forms of bar work. Yes. So it's often not, if someone's like moving to Australia, quite often they'll have spent time like

on a gap year or something else where they've done a bit of work there already, where I don't think that's as based around health. No, but I'm talking about sort of our peers. And I do think there's a new like a cohort of people who are moving out there in this idea that in this sunnier country, which is positioned as Britain but sunny and more laid back. It's all the like loudest, boarish and yet most health conscious. Sometimes you somehow you have it all. You can drink yourself into oblivion, but you also have abs. I think that's kind of what Australia represents for a lot of people.

Like, and then there's coffee culture and it's all sun. It's seen as sunshine. Whereas Dubai, the point is the air con. as you say. It's like this you can indulge in everything and everything is mitigated for you. But I'm interested in the declineism at home and how these two countries in particular, which are the ones I see foremost young people who previously maybe would have benefited from social mobility and now are kind of like my amount of options in my ability to move, like the professional classes or like the working classes who, you know, we've talked about this for doctors and tradies or teachers.

So Dubai, I think is teachers and influencers. and Australia I think is like doctors and tradies. And why these two places are seen as lands of opportunity now versus what is at home, which is this miserable grey, constraining country where there's no room for them to actually move. And I'm interested in how Dubai has sold itself as, you know, this is the future. Well, there's also like a big political shift which has been capitalised on, which is Brexit. it. So before, you could move and travel visa-free and work across 28 other European countries.

And now we can't. So other countries move into that space, right? And that's also because like we've got things they want. So we talked about with relation to Dubai, what taking in like social media influences offers is visibility. And visibility and visibility. a Western context and a sort of like normalisation, we're like you really, right? We're not really in the Middle East. We're not really Arab. You know, it's sort of like game of perception. What we have like for Australia is like, oh, we just trained like loads of healthcare professionals like on our taxpayer dime and you can have them. And the other thing, the other push factor is, and this is especially true for medical professionals, is that

your student loan gets written off quicker if you move abroad. So if you're leaving with, say, like, 70,000 pounds worth of debt, which in 10 years time might be more like 100,000 pounds, if not, if not even more than that, like you have every incentive to go to Australia. So there's also like real material push factors here, right? Like what makes more sense? And for doctors especially, they talk about the pay being better in Australia, but the conditions are just being better.

Like, it's better staffed. The hospitals are cleaner. They're newer. Like, they're just nicer to work in. And so if you're thinking that, like, I want to make more money, but I know I'm never going to make enough to, like, retire early, per se, where I'm going to have to work until pension age. You do think about where is it going to be nicer.

So it's not just a feeling of declineism. There is a reflection. And I'm thinking about this in terms of not just what does it like to be someone who uses public services, like me and you, but what it's like to staff those public services. Like, that really, really matters. I think there is another thing and I like you know

Aaron talks about this a lot which is what does the built environment look like in this country now like London is relatively better often privileged than other bits of the country

because like there is still some degree of money that's here and even that is like the area that I live in is like so covered with litter and dog shit and graffiti and human Fetces. Human feces.

Unmistakably human feces. Someone took a shit on the front garden wall of my friend's house and just like that couldn't have been anything other than human. Like you don't, it's hard for me to love this place. When I see human feces, it's really hard. And you go outside of London and like the flight tipping is much worse, like much, much worse. Depends the city, because I will say

London is a shit hole. It is literacy. Some places is cleaner. Aaron's journey around Gorton and Denton and like, just like these sort of like weird interstitial spaces which then just get like full of like crap. But central Manchester isn't as dirty as central London. Neither is, I would say Glasgow. Well, I've been around Glasgow. It's not the same.

There are places which are fucking. little tips but I was on a whole when I walked down like Rye Lane like when I came back from my travels I was like oh I forgot how much it stinks in this place you know like London is filthy wherever you go yeah the big sting unless you're in the private roads

and fucking Chelsea is filthy it is the big sting and this stuff really makes a difference like it really makes a difference like it has an impact on your mood it gets you down like you know you want to talk about the death of the high street like things being boarded up yeah like it makes

it makes a real difference to how happy you are and your sense of like, am I in a country and a place that has a future? I think there's also the role of the internet, which is homogenising places. There's placeless places now. And a cohort of people who are receptive to placelessness. So, you know, Dubai is a good example.

It could be in the West. but then so could lots of other places in the West, could be anywhere in the West. You know, like these, as you say, they've got gym, they've got a mall, they've got this things, and it's certain brands that turn up everywhere. So I've read an article about people moving to Malta because it has an M&S.

So there's a, there's a, like, if it's got popular to certain brands or certain, like, cultural touchstones, it becomes completely placeless. And the design can be placeless too. There might be elements of a specific thing, but mostly it's just like skyscrapers or residential homes in a certain way.

And that placelessness, that homogenity, homogeneity. Homogeneity. Thank you, Ash. People find it comforting because I think, especially people who spend a lot of time online looking at videos, the internet is also a placeless environment. So you can kind of be anywhere when you're on it.

Like there's no real markers. You move into niches. But I think that's that, means that, you know, when I'm, for example, somewhere, Duluz and Guitary are fucking like punching the air. They're like, de-territorialisation. Scotland and England, they are so different.

I was in Stirling recently and there was a building there that was specifically marked out as an example of a building that was designed like an English market town. And it was so different to every other building. Like, there was a real sense of place there. Whereas when you go to, it's like being an all-inclusive resort, basically,

somewhere in, like, Dubai. It's built like that purpose. Do you remember that well remember you know that horrible um new town or city they're building in Saudi Arabia was the line isn't it yeah and they would have this mercantine it was this they had all these influences trying to promote it and it's just this absolutely faceless it was like a horror movie faceless place but it's Bali's like that too like you go to Bali it's one of my friends went recently she was like everything is the same you could just be in London you could just be in Manchester apart from like the nice weather and the scooters they're the same

brands the same gyms the same places and that sense of placelessness creates a real lack of connection to it so you have this iterant transitory group who can just move around yeah i think i think that's really true um i mean there's a sort of interesting thing about like vernacular architecture um and thinking about like when development happens is like and and what's already there sort of um impacts your ability to like superimpose like a placeless kind of of architecture or like a culturally displaced form of architecture. Because there were, the designs for Barnsley's redevelopment were based on like a Tuscan Market Town, which is like a completely different level of like sunshine and terrain and blah,

blah, blah, but it was like, so new labour, right? It's like Tuscan Market Town in Barnsley. What do you think? And it's really hard to do. And it's interesting that like so much of the new building. in this country, like has to return to brick. Like, it has to return to a certain kind of brick because that's the language and the visual style of our architecture.

I'm building in tope brick, not red brick. I love red brick. I want my London clay. London clay. It'll be too hot, though. This is why London's got heat zones because there's cement and the clay. Let me bake to death.

You will. You literally will. We're going to hit another summer where the London heat zones are going to go crazy because the built environment in London, and don't know, let me start on this a real article about it. Anyway, be careful this summer, guys. But yeah, so like, when you're building something kind of from brand new, even though there is a culture and an architectural style and a way of doing things, but it's like when you're building it for a certain amount of density, you know, it can be this nowhere kind of place.

And it's interestingly mentioned Saudi Arabia because I was thinking about what's the difference between how UAE have pursued this strategy and Saudi Arabia. So UAE, one, the leveraging of aviation is really, really important. So part of how Dubai and Abu Dhabi become these, like, influencer hubs is that they're starting around the airports, right? So like Emirates Airways and Etihad, become really important. Then you've got sports sponsorship, right?

So like when you think about like Emirates and Etihad, you think of stadiums, right? And you think of it being like on football teams. And then like after that you've got the influencer strategy. Whereas Saudi Arabia is like a little bit different because a lot of this is sort of like a Mohammed bin Salman kind of thing. Right. Like he's sort of going, fuck. Like let's look at what the UAE are doing.

Like we're going to have to, we're going to have to be more than Mecca and Medina. Yeah. And, you know, Saudi Arabia is a religious theocracy in which people are beheaded, right? So how do you do this like, oh, we're good to the West, really? Sports. The centrality of sports is absolutely fascinating. And there's so much money for them to do it. So I am a WWE girly, right?

I love watching my oiled up men on steroids do pretend fighting. And I make no apologies for that. Like, as part of like Riyadh season, basically Saudi Arabia has just charged the WWE loads of money to host their biggest paper views in Saudi Arabia. Like Riyadh season as well with like the comedians that happened recently, so like Dave Chappelle and all them not. Formula One, like Formula One really is,

like you can tell from the race calendar, like who's really doing the sports washing. Like who's popping up is like so, so fascinating. So who have you got? Like you've got Abu Dhabi, you've got Saudi Arabia, like, you know, the Jeddah circuit, you know, Azerbaijan. Because it's a way of signaling, like, yes, we behead people, but we've also got some other things you like.

So fascinating. Yeah. And you can tell also by language, who's successfully done the strategy of appealing to this new Western, expat migrant community, where everyone would say, expat community because in the UAE,

English is the most spoken language, I think. Arabic is the visual language, but English is the language of, the most spoken language, and the language of business. Well, also, you have to, like, we can't talk about these countries without talking about slave labour.

Oh, yeah, exactly. From Bangladesh, from Nepal, you know, from the Philippines as well. The West Asian countries. taking the slave labor from South Asian countries. Yeah, like we, you have to talk about that. So, like, one of the things about the marketing around this stuff and of which influences are a huge part

is the invisibilization of the actual labor that goes into building these places. Because, like, let's face it, right? Influencers and, like, crypto scammers, there is nothing socially productive about any of it. Like, you don't fucking build anything. Like, you're essentially, oh, go, I'm going to say something so harsh. You're fucking parasites.

Do you know what I mean? Like, like your fucking parasites. Like, you produce nothing of value. Like, what you do is you, you create the illusion of money. But there's actually nothing there going on. You usually don't have that much money. That's the thing. And they usually don't have very much money.

It's all speculation and mirrors. It's all fake it till you make it shit. And like, you know, I'm obsessed with this influence. Not, no, that's another thing. I'll go on to that. Finish first. Finish first. But like, like, you don't, like, you literally contribute and build nothing in the places that

you're living, right? Like you spend some money, but like you don't even pay taxes. Like, who is it that's responsible for like all of the productive labor like in all of these places? It's a combination of oil and slave labor. Yeah. And that's it. Like that's the basis of the whole fucking economy. Yeah.

And it's also like a two tier system where there is the legal system, which is incredibly harsh, if you fall or foul of it. Even then there's a way for the influence to get out. I remember the Love Island influencer who got rested after being videoed doing an illegal substance in Dubai. And she managed to get released from jail. Do you think that's happening to people who are not part of the influencer or the, you know, the expat class? Do you think that's happened to them now? But this is the thing is that like it's two tier in all sorts of ways, right? So it's two tier between Western expat and South Asian migrant.

But it's also, because it's a religious theocracy, two tier and two tier in terms. terms of Muslim non-Muslim. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, what kinds of laws will apply to if you're a Muslim doing those things and, you know, not part of the Sheikh class? Like, it's totally different. But I find it so fascinating that somewhere like Dubai has even become, now there's another, another small group of people who move there to try and make, how do I put this? Okay, so basically there's these two non-influencers that I'm obsessed with who want to be influencers. They're aspiring to be influencers. And they're planning to move to Dubai.

And the job of one of these people is a social media manager. Their own social media is dead. Like no followers, no engagement, nothing. But a constant stream of videos all about how to optimize, how to do your successful social media. It is the illusion. Like they were trying to aspire to be aspirational. And there's all this stuff about, you know, ambitious people, how to make money.

They haven't even moved to Dubai yet. about to move and it's this in I don't even know how to articulate like what I'm seeing but it's this bizarre I don't know like Russian doll thing where they're moving to try and make a reality like make their the wealth that they want and they're ambitious that they want and the thing that they're pretending they have a reality but they so obviously inconspicuously don't have that yet and probably won't get it when then Dubai but it's all this idea of based on speculation and like just keep faking it as you say till you make it but it's not it's not gonna happen

There is also a thing, right, the old Mike Tyson adage. Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. And the thing is, is that this aspirational escape, as you termed it, is based on a fantasy of what these places are like in a way which removes them from their actual context. Because everywhere is subject to big externalities. So we're seeing it in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, which is, you are really close to Iran.

Like they've tried to make you forget that you are in the Middle East, a region which has been completely militarised by America, Israel and Iran. They've worked really hard to try and make you forget that. But when the Shaheds are flying, like, you can't. Australia, like, we saw this with the huge wildfires, which took place, I believe it was around 2021. 2020, 2021. You know, like,

it is subject to climate change in a huge way. Like, nations have, as part of their attempt to project this kind of soft power, they want to make you forget, right? They want to play into your sense of the fantasy of escape. But like,

while you might not have someone shitting on your garden wall like they are here in London, there's going to be some other stuff, and, and move on romantic ideas at your peril, right? Nothing don't move. Nothing don't move. Like, you know, pursue happiness wherever that is.

But fantasies aren't real. And in fact, they're designed with geopolitical aims in mind. Yeah. I'm conscious of time. Yes. We need to do some problems. That was fun. That was a fun discussion. That was fun.

I really enjoyed that. And I hope people enjoy it too. Sometimes it's nice to go into the culture. and, you know, trend of it all. Okay, Ash, can you do me a favour? Depends what it is. Can you read out the dilemma for me? Yeah, I can.

Oh, you were so coy and flirtatious. Don't you bat your eyelashes at me just because it works. If you have a problem and, look, just saying if your problem is that you're stuck in Dubai and they're a missile flag I've heard, we probably can't advise you out of that one. Flight's a real thing is fine. Flys over and email us at if I speak at navaramedia.com. That's if I speak at navaramedia.com. So, dear Ash and Moyer, every Tuesday I'm glad that I've found the perfect podcast.

Thank you so much for reading this in advance. I have a sort of job slash lifestyle dilemma. So I am 27 and I currently work for a small arts charity based in a city that I love. The job itself is brilliant in the day to day and it suits me down. and to the ground. I'm absolutely loving it. But in October, I had my first appraisal. After being told I'm doing an excellent job that I'm exceeding all of my targets, tick, tick, tick, tick, well done. I was then told that there was no concrete scope for any sort of promotion due to the nature of the charity. Now, I have a master's degree in a topic very relevant to the role and four years worth of

office experience. I'm not fresh off my undergrad. I feel I've been hired for a position that I'm actually a bit overqualified for, and sometimes I feel a bit taken advantage of. I'm really going above and beyond, so this news about zero prospects of money or roll upgrade broke my heart. I'm currently living in a rented house, the cost of which is probably 70% of my income. I'm not able to say very much, and I'm starting to feel frustrated watching friends and family who chose different careers and who are in different parts of the country by homes, get married and generally move forward with their lives.

I do not trust this job to move me forward in any way, shape or form. and frankly, I'm concerned that I'm going to be 30 and still in this assistant role. I've had so many different hopes for where I'd be at this stage, but I've never earned over 25K. My situation is made even trickier by the fact one of my friends works at the company. She's wonderful, she's been there a few years more than me, and is in the role directly above. She's just bought her first home, but we are exactly the same age. I feel I'm getting to a point in life where I need to choose money, and I don't know how to. I don't know what alternative career I'd be drawn to

and I'm not someone who is happy to do a boring job in exchange for cash. Employment prospects are so, so dire at the moment and I feel I'd have to be open to leaving my city in order to guarantee another role I find interesting. There is potentially an option for me to move beyond renting. I'm in a new relationship. My partner owns his house and is considering a housemate. Could it be me?

But when I've casually mentioned my situation, I haven't been invited to move in with him. To be honest, living together now might be much too soon, and I'm nervous of the dynamic changing if he were to become my landlord as well as my boyfriend. I'd want one day to own somewhere equally between us both. I really don't want to have to leave my life behind, but I feel like choosing to stay involves choosing this stupid lovely job

from categorically not going to get any more money. And I need money to move forward. Staying means friends and partner and joyful things, but also means I'm going to be stuck renting for the foreseeable, unable to save my future, watching others I know get married and have babies, while I'm still an assistant struggling to make ends meet. What should I do, Ash and Moyer?

Should I beg my new boyfriend to house me? Suck it up and wait it out at work. Should I look for a job in a different city and start life anew? That would be so sad and overwhelming to do, but I'm stealing myself for it. Your advice on this would be magical. Just please don't tell me to move to London. I'm begging you. Sincerely, special one.

I would never tell you to move to London, darling. That's not. That's not actually. I don't think we've given that advice out. No. I've advised you to move back to London, but that was because I knew you. Yeah, that's because I'm a London London baby

I'm a hall for London But I wouldn't advise you to me Okay, Nell Gwynn, calm down Great pub Okay Do we want practical or we want analysis Where do you want to start with this Do you have a thoughts already

I think start where your heart tells you to start Okay, first of all my heart tells you To not move in with your boyfriend Do not do that You don't want to You already know it's a bad idea Like your guts told you that Let's just cross that off

We won't even get into that you don't need to do that. Secondly, this idea of 30 is looming large and I get it. I get it. But I think you need to also analyze what you actually want. Do you want to buy a house yet? Do you want to own a house? Or is it just the idea of what a house represents to you?

Is that what you're just using as the abstract for I just want to make more money and earn a wage so I don't spend 70% of it on my housing costs? Because if your money goes up, you might still want to rent for a while, you know? Like I don't want to fully outright owner house yet I'm in shared ownership at the moment which is good for me but I'm not ready to like fully buy I wasn't going to fall to yet Thing is I think you should set yourself

If I'm going to be really practical and put my really practical head on I think you should set yourself a deadline I think you need a good old deadline For how long you're willing to stay at the company Without making more money because I'm not sure Your assertion that there's no room to move is true your friend has been there a few years before you and is the role above you.

I think you're in that bit where you're like nothing's ever going to change and no one's ever going to leave. Which is good to plan for, but you'd be surprised. The job I'm currently in, I'm only currently in it because the job I had before that,

all within the same company, someone left very suddenly, which meant there wasn't vacancy and I could move into it and then I got promoted into another job because I was able to do that job. So you see things. Things change all the time. It's good to have one plan, but other plans can come up. I think the

question you have to ask yourself here is, how long am I willing to stay in this role? Because you've only been it for a while if you're having your first appraisal. That's not a long time. Like, it's your first appraisal. People don't get promoted just off their first appraisal. Sometimes they do. If you're in a chaotic startup, which is great, and I love that. But often they don't, especially in charities. How long are you willing to stay in this role before you look for another one? I think is the question you have to ask. And I would talk to your friend and ask about what her prospects were in this company

and whether she went straight into that job, whether she's being people get promoted, etc., etc. In terms of looking for another job, what's near Norwich? Cambridge? Look for somewhere nearby. You can commute. You don't have to stay within the exact city.

You can commute. That is a possible thing, especially with remote work. And if you work in the charity sector, not being funny, but there's a lot of working from home now several days a week. I don't know what you chariote. people do. Three days a week, you're at home.

So there are options, but you have to really, I think you have to set some sort of like deadline and goal and understand really what you want rather than an amorphous, just more money. Like, is it, okay, I want to get over the 25K and I want 30 and then I would be, that's what I'm aiming for. Because if so, you have a target and you can go for it.

That's my advice. I'm going to keep mine super short because I think you've covered most of it. Firstly, do not move in with a new boyfriend. end. Like, also, like, men aren't that dumb. Like, you're angling for something and hoping for the invitation. And that's a really bad basis to start from in a relationship. Like, you can't initiate any kind of big change, whether it's moving in or getting

married, kind of hoping to set someone up to say the thing you want them to say, right? So the first bit of advice that I would give you is that I think the reason why you haven't asked for what you want outright or suggested it outright is because you know deep down it's kind of mad. So you kind of wanted to share the responsibility or offset the responsibility for taking a big step in the relationship by like angling for him to say it. So don't do that. Second thing is work won't love you back. It really, really won't. If you're at a place which isn't showing you the value, whether that's financial value or anything else in the way that you deserve, you have to look elsewhere. Like you have to. It's not going to love you back. And

more has given some like really good practical advice about being open to commutes where you don't have to move and like taking advantage of like flexibility setting a deadline and all that stuff is really good but I think that like in a way where you're at mentally and how you're framing things which is like kind of passive you're waiting for people to offer you what it is that you want um to to to make sense of or like cut through the confusion in your life like that's That's not how it works, baby girl. It's not how it works. It's not how it works.

But good luck. And I think, I think, 27 is not a bad age to be experiencing this stuff. When was I really broke until? Pandemic. I had like eight grand debt. Oof. Until the pandemic.

I don't think I'd earned over, no, I'd earned a bit more at the BBC briefly. But I wasn't earning lots. The pandemic and furlough helped me get out of debt. And then, by cutting you off from spending options physically. No, no, no, because I got furloughed on job, which was great. I think I still do very long stuff.

Yeah, that was the only reason I got out of debt. And then my earning, but I also, like, I work. I have a really good wage now, but I also work three jobs because I'm so scared of financial insecurity. Which we'll talk about another show because me and I have lots to say on that. We have lots to say. But we really get it. And it, like, it's fucking hard. and it's only got harder.

25 grand doesn't go far in this world, so I really get it, but there are way it's around. Should we get on the plane to Dubai? That's me taking off. Okay, lads. It's been good. Sounds like a fucking missile interceptor, but fine. You know what? That's still Dubai right now.

Okay. Bye, everyone. Bye.