If I Were You - 09: Mystery Guest Part 2

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

In this episode we discuss memory palaces, mystery guests, and who is 55?Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgema original. Yes sir. One last ditch ever to try to stop the crib of going to shit Seven, another podcast each have different from the last Seven, it's the Swiss Army Nightbook show We'll meet you two pathetic hosts Seven, yes Now let me to two pathetic homes Second Yes, this is segments, the only podcast that reinvents itself every eight to twelve minutes.

Ever changing, ever evolving, always adapting. That's segments for you. I have another surprise segment for you that I didn't tell you about. Really? Yeah. Wow. Should we do it first? We have to. Because it is another mystery guest. God damn it. God damn it. I've invited the second mystery, the first mystery guest was your wife, you didn't get it. So close your eyes, I'm inviting a new mystery guest into the chat.

Okay, I don't know if this person is as adept as Jill. So close your eyes. As I invite them into the same room. And again, the name of the segment is mystery guest. This is mystery guest part two. I'm inviting somebody that we both know. That's the only stipulation. We both know this human. Got it. We don't know if it's a cousin of yours that I met once somebody we worked with in an obscure setting.

Somebody like your wife. Yeah. Okay. And you have 20 20 yes or no questions to try to figure out the identity of this mystery guest. Incredible. They've been admitted into the room. Great job again. All right. Okay. This is good. M.G. has entered the chat.

Okay. Again, camera off, audio off, you're gonna ask them questions. This person has to respond yes or no. And are they going to be using the chat or voice? They will be using the chat, I believe, can mystery guys, can you confirm? Yes, okay. Why?

Chats. Interesting. Unless they're asking why? Why? Interesting. Unless they're asking why? Why should I answer that question? All right, that one did. Okay. You're at sea right. Okay. Hello, Mr. Guest.

I love it already again. Last time, last time the Mr. Guest was my wife. Will you try to embarrass me by making it somebody I know very well? And, and again. Or is it feel again? Yeah, that's, that is the question. Um, let's do this mystery guest. Do you love me?

Oh, that's a really good question. Wow. Hello, K-S- why, that's nice. That's good. All right. Subjective 20 questions. Yeah. There's the love that you feel for me pure

or is it like a friendship love? All right, good stuff, good stuff. Mr. Guest, have I seen you personally, physically in person in the last month? Another great question. You're already playing better than you did last round. I have to. It was embarrassing last time.

Jill and I had to get a trial separation. What? Yes, okay. Wow, physically seeing. I have to ask, are you, are you my wife? Mr. Guest, are you my wife? That's a really good question. No, it's not. It's not real. That wasn't play and I did consider it. Andist, are you my wife? That's a really good question. It's not, it's not real.

That's not real. That wasn't play and I did consider it. And I knew that you think about it, so I ultimately had to be, so yeah. Okay, Mr. Regist, do you live in New York City? Yes. Four questions down. Somebody you love, you've seen, not Jill,

but lives in New York. This is great. I barely see anybody. Mr. Guest, are we related? Good question. Why you're zeroing in? This is much faster. Yes.

Oh, yes, okay. Has to be Micah. It has to be Micah. Mr. Guest, are you Micah? No. Not Micah. Mr. Guest, are you Micah? No. No. Not Micah. You don't, you wouldn't have been able to, it's not, okay, we're related. Is it my sister, Liza? Liza, do we hear Liza? Yes or no? No. Okay.

We are related and you live in New York City. Seven questions deep. Seven questions deep. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Are you a cousin of mine, mystery guest? That's a good question. Dear cousins, love you?

No, okay. Eight questions deep now. You got 12 left. You... Are we related by law? Common or otherwise? I have to ask to clarify. What is that? Yeah. Like my sister-in-law. Oh, I see. Like through my rich blood. Yeah. Are you basically on Jill's side of the family? Yeah, are you basically on Jill's side of the family?

No, not related through law. You are related to me and you live in New York City and I've seen you down. Now we're getting to that point where I get embarrassed because I should know a member of my own family that lives in New York City. Yes. a member of my own family that lives in New York City. And I think I don't. Is that illegal?

Is that illegal? Is, okay. Are you, are you a member of my immediate family? That's a really good question. And this is your 10th question. Yes. Yes? You don't live in mystery guests.

You do not live in New York City. You said you're not Mike and you're not Eliza. And okay. I mean, and you're not, and you're not my wife. Is it, is it my daughter? Is it Mr. Gettin? Are you Gemma? Yes. Wow.

Let's see Gemma. Wow. Mystery Gemma. To get me. Yes. Get off. You tried to get me. You absolutely told me she's answering. She's absolutely answering. Were you typing? You just like to see me. Were you typing? Hey, hey, I'm your uncle. She had typing. You just type no. Were you typing?

I'm your uncle. Hey, little buckaroo. She's concerned confused. She's not wrecking. Oh, she's slapping an excitement. All right. What a few of us here. You guys are great.

Good answer. Hey, hello. Welcome everybody. You guys are great. It's funny that it didn't dawn on you right away that you're related to Gemma though. Yeah. Yeah, no that leading through higher conversation. But you didn't get them. Yeah. Well, I didn't think you would stoop so low as to have a, have an infant. I didn't think you would stoop so low as to have an infant. I tried to try to play this game upon in my game.

Yes, Gemma, you almost got me you beauty. Yes, Gemma. Jill sent me a very funny photo of Gemma looking very coy and sneaky in front of the computer five minutes ago. You have to send it to me next. She looked very cheeky. Yes, Jill and I text a lot. So this was just a natural question. I actually don't love that.

Next time, yes, there's this smile. That's what I was waiting for. Next time you try to play mystery, yes. I guess I'm just guessing Jill and Gemma right off the bat. What is she eating? Jillian, what is she eating? She's supposed

to be vegan. We're in the waiting room for a little while. She had to have a snack. She was famished. She was famished. You know how you know how rooted it is to eat on a zoom? Nobody and nobody likes when you do that. She did just throw the pair on the floor as you said. All right. Good job everybody. Good job everybody. Especially Jamba. You almost jam and Jill.

Bye for now. You guys. Oh my God. There is no length I wouldn't go to to have Gemma on the show. I know what gets the clicks. Your daughter will be the screen cap. Your daughter will be the thumbnail. Her thumbs will be the thumbnail. All right, great job, Jake. Thank you. Yeah, that one felt better. ["The Was As." by L.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.D.A.D.A.D.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.D.A.D.A.D.A. Blood for sure. Okay, my turn to embarrass you. How about that?

Yeah. Oh, this one is dick picker now. Yes, whereas I can find my dick in a lineup. This is actually a dick measuring content. So I'm gonna go need you to get a ruler, a yardstick or some measuring tape or a piece of wine that will mail in, or a cork of wine. We should, we should finally stoop solo that we just measure each other's dicks as a, as

a segment. Did I ever give, this ever come up in a Jake and be video where it's like measuring dicks by jousting and whoever's Dicks touches the other person's body first has the longer Dicks. Yeah, I did know. I think Jeff and Dave used to do that when they were kids. Swash buckling as a Dicks measuring contest. It would have been a really good CH all nighter sketch, I think.

Yeah, we'll save it for later. Okay, this is a memory game. Okay. It's pretty simple. I found it online at a place called Englishroom.com. And he is basically... Yeah, I'm going to read a short paragraph. Half an hour.

Half an hour. To you. And all that's going to happen is when I'm done, you're going to try to repeat back to me what I said. Verbatim. Verbatim. And you can type it in the chat. I'll put it in and we'll get your score.

I have to type in this entire paragraph from memory. Okay. How is your memory in general? Is it better or worse than mine, do you think? My short-term memory, and I think it might be similar for you, is actually very good. Like, I think from reading scripts, from improv, I was able to basically remember these sentences, but my long-term memory is terrible. Tomorrow, I won't remember that we played this game.

Got it. That's more medium. Long-term is like, would you remember who your fifth grade teacher's name was or something? I guess I remember things that happened to me a long time ago, but I also like, I couldn't tell you, you know, what I did last summer or something. Yeah. Did you watch or I know I did last summer? Yeah, that's with Sarah Michelle Geller. Is that right?

I think it's with Jennifer Love Hewitt. See, the long-term. Oh, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yeah. And it's not Nev Campbell, because she's scream, right? I want to say Fredi Prince. I think it's Sarah Michelle Geller and Freddie Prince. It's Freddie Prince.

It's all this brat pack. Yeah. It's type thing. It's Melody Prince. It's Ryan Felipe. Yes. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together.

It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together.

It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together.

It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld together. It's meld, yes, Matthew Lillard. My personality is Matthew meets Damien Lillard. You wish. Absolutely wish. All right, I'm gonna repeat this to you up to three times. Okay, you see. Three times. Thank you. I'm gonna close my eyes to someone

who I'm not influenced by anything else. Yeah. My name is Scott. I am seven years old. This is my bag. I have two pens, three pencils and one ruler. I'm sitting on my chair in my classroom. There is a book on my desk. There is a waste basket on the floor. Okay, that's it. Okay. I'll read it again. Don't need to. Really? Yeah. Okay. Type it back and we'll plug it in and see what you got. My name is Scott. I'm seven years old. I am sitting at my desk. I have a bag inside our two pens.

I have a bag inside our two pens, three pencils. There's a ruler on my desk. Neat, I say more. Okay. So that's what you're, that's what you're inputting. That's right. I'll go, I'll go into guess for you. Okay. guess for you? Okay, you are missing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 words. Okay, well that's because you only read it once. You're supposed to read it three times. Dingo. He just coughed. He's giving me a hint. He's trying to.

Actually, you may have gotten a few more right because your typos in this chat. Yeah. I mean, do you want me to... It's verbatim, it's not just the details. Yeah, it's verbatim. Okay. All right, let's hear it again.

That's what makes it a memory game. No, I'll give you the next story. I'll give you the next story. I'll give you the next story. We're done with this one. Okay. How did I do? You failed the first one. Okay. You missed nine words. Okay. That's not that many.

Okay. All right. Fine. Yeah. Maybe this one. Today I am more than once. Which by the way, I was really fucked up of you to just admit you chose that. You tried to show off. You tried to show off. And you didn't do too bad.

But you forgot that he was sitting near a waist basket. Did you asshole? Did not know that for you. I'm trying to build a fucking picture in my mind and you keep bladding a waist basket on the floor. You didn't say shit about the waist basket. Okay. Today I am learning English.

Our teacher tells us to stand up and make a circle. She says, put your ruler on your head. Then she says, put your ruler on your head. Then she says, put your eraser on your nose. Now point to the map on the wall. Sit down on your chair. Take out your pen and book. I'll read that again. Don't need to. Yeah. All right. Good. Go ahead. Now, this one I'll hear again because it was slightly more details to learn. I am learning English. Yeah. Don't repeat it back to me. Don't interrupt our teacher tells us to stand up and make a circle. Yeah. She says put your ruler on your head. We're seeing if

active listening works. Yeah. Then she says put your eraser on your nose. Now point to the map on the wall. Sit down on your chair. Take out your pen and book. Okay. Do you want to hear one more time and you want to go for it? Of course I want to hear it again because you're f***ing nitficking every f***ing word. I am nothing just. I am learning English.

Okay. Our teacher tells us to stand up and make a circle. She says, put your ruler on your head Then she says put your eraser on your nose now point to the map on the wall sit down on your chair Take out your pen and book Okay, today I'm learning English easy Yes, my teacher tells us to stand up and get in a circle. Just put your ruler on your head. Then she says, then she says, put your ruler on your head, put your

eraser on your nose. point to the map, then sit in your chair and take out your pen and book. What a cherry. I sort of nailed it. You did sort of nail it. I got that just, I'm an improviser slash comedian, so I can't stick to the script verbatim, but I'll hit all the beats.

It's fine. There was good. That was not fully correct, but it was good. It was the general gist to be sure. It was the general gist of the general. Yes. What about a shirt that's this one's general gist? Oh, that's good.

That would be a good companion to general cleanliness. Oh, yeah, I guess we did have a shirt that said that. Okay. I didn't realize. Okay. Today, I am learning art. I take out my book. My teacher says, draw a picture of an orange sun.

Next, draw a blue house and a black tree. I put away my book. I am hungry. So I eat a green apple and a red ant. No, you added that last part. I did not. I did absolutely not. And it's erased the rest of the, I also, it sounds like a poem, right?

Oh, yeah, it's just a poem that I wrote. Did you write that one? Can I guess that you wrote it? Ha-un sits in a red circle? How un sits and eats a red ant. This one's annoying because everything has a fucking weird color. Okay, let's hear it again.

Today I am learning art. I'm learning art. I take out my book. My teacher says, draw a picture of an orange sun. Next, draw a blue house and a black tree. I put away my book. I am hungry, so I eat a green apple and a red ant. Okay, I got it. Yeah. Today I am learning art. My teacher tells me- What do you do before your teacher says anything? Today I'm learning art.

tells me what do you do before your teacher says anything today I'm learning art Really focused on the fucking colors of the nouns It tells me to sit down no you take out your book. That's what I said tells me to take out my book Today I'm learning art. Yeah, then he said my teacher It tells me to take out my book. No, you said today I'm learning art. Yeah. Then he said my teacher. Oh, I just take out my book apropos of nothing. You say today I'm learning art.

I take out my book. I take out my book. My teacher tells me to draw an orange sun, a blue house. A blue house. A blue house. And a black tree. Yes. I close my book, put away my book.

I am hungry. I eat a green apple and yeah, with a side of a red ant. And can I have a side of a red ant? You guys have red ants. Let's just eat the one ant. I mean, I already had an apple. A guinea pig.

A guinea pig as it were. How about this? Close your eyes and see if you can remember the first story you told me. I typed it out. Because now that it's been three stories, that first one is long gone for me. But you, I don't know, read it. Maybe it's in your memory a little more than mine. I literally couldn't even tell you what it's about.

Yeah. It was a short-term memory. It was a short-term memory. Yeah. He's like, oh, my name is Scott. Nice. I am, today I am in class. Now, how old is he? Oh, my name is Scott. Nice. Today I am in class. Now how old is he?

Oh, my name is Scott. I'm 68 years old. Close. Seven. Yes, I'm seven years old. I am in the classroom. I'm sitting in the back. I'm sitting in the back.

But what's inside? I have my bag. Inside, I have a notebook and a pen. Nope, two pens. I have a ruler. I have two pens. I have two pens. And one pen.

Oh, I have a ruler. I have two pens, a ruler, and one, no, three pencils, two pens, and one ruler. That's correct. There is a waste basket. There is a waste basket on the floor. That's the part I forgot. For breakfast, I had a red ant.

God, I'm famished. I'm start scavenging for ants. I can't find one ant. I can't find not one ant. Disseishi, my ant petite. Did I ever tell you slash, did we ever discuss that book that I read called Moonwalking with Einstein?

I don't read a lot of books, but it's about this guy, Jonathan Safranfore's brother, talking about memory. I really remember this book very well. It's a guy who covered the US memory competition, or maybe international memory competition. And he got so into it that he's like, I think I can learn how to do this. My memory is not great, but there's enough tips and tricks. And then like within a few years, one it. Wow. Yeah. This is like all the, I think you did tell me about this. This is like the memory palace stuff, right? Exactly. You can memorize a deck of cards in like under a minute or two by like assigning each one an action and object in like a person.

So like a three of clubs and a four of hearts and a 10 of diamonds is actually like, you're in your house and Michael Jackson is dribbling a cake. And like that's a lot easier to remember than the three cards. And then the next three cards are like, I go to my bedroom and what do I see? Outward Einstein but fucking a frog.

And that means three more cards. Nice. So there are ways. I mean, that's also awesome. I don't even need to do the deck. I'll just think about that. That Einstein beast reality. The two takeaways that I still use slash have are one.

When you meet somebody, like they tell you their name, but like it's in one ear out the other, if they're just like, so what you can do is like, when they say, hey, my name is Greg, you imagine Greg Maddox, either fucking or killing that person. And that creates like a hook in your brain. That's like, oh, when I see this guy,

I imagine Greg Maddox, slitting his throat. And I'll never forget Greg from that. That's cool. The second thing is they showed a class of like kids, like 50 images in a row and then kind of like this, like one, two, three, four, five, all the way to 50 and they're like, all right, how many of them can you remember? And they're like, you showed it to me too fast,

I don't know, two, three, four, five, maybe 10. And then they're like, all right, here's 50 more pictures. Some of them you've seen in the 50 that we showed you and some of them are brand new. And they could pretty much get a hundred percent recall of if it was new or old. So just because you can't like recall it from scratch, doesn't mean that you don't remember. It is still somewhere in your brain at like nearly 100% retention. So it's just about access. Yeah, like if I said name your,

like tomorrow I'm like name that story. You're like, I have no fucking clue. I'm like, okay, here's the story that it was and here's the story that it wasn't. You're like, oh, it's definitely the one about Scott. It's not like the one about a caterpillar or something. Yeah, yeah. So the memory is there.

You just have to access it in weird different unique ways. That's cool. We should make a biohacking segment. Oh, interesting. A Huberman style. Yeah. Basically, like a limitless S-type podcast baked in here. I kind of wanted to do a fake Huberman style podcast.

Maybe I can do a segment like that. Right. See if I can vote for a man. Yeah, a Bloomerman lab. Bloomerman gab. It's about making, I don't know, your ears bigger, some shit. It's perfect.

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Right. I do sleep on a lux, actually. There we go. I don't just sleep on a lux. I look surreate on a lux. I dream on a lux. I know you already said that part. Thank you, my lucky lux.

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Woo! That's AthleticGreens.com slash slash segments. Check it out. Thank you All right, we're back I think we should play a game we've played before but is easily repeatable And easily beddable so we can win or lose some cash again Great love it. A long time since I've lost cash on this show.

The origin of the game is kind of murky. It's a play of chemistry, yes we cash. Origin of this game is kind of murky, but I believe I invented it, so I'm gonna run with it. Okay, and it's the who's 58 years old game. Oh nice, I would give you credit for that. I have a not-so-veg recollection of me coming up with it at College Humor, and then we turned it into a game show, and we've played it a bunch, including during some live shows.

Yes. I accidentally searched 258 and I saw a bunch of celebrities, so we're going to have to choose a different age. Let's say something in between 40 and 60, and we'll alternate. First one to get it. Yeah. When's $50? Venmo from the other one. Okay. Let's say 55.

Interesting. Okay. Do you wanna start or should I? I'll start because I think Paul Rudd is 55. How old is Paul Rudd? He's 54. All right. If we're playing this game in April, you would have won. Yeah.

What's the, what's the, what's the ante? How about, how about it costs you $5 every time you guess? I was gonna say $50 to the person who gets it right first. But you wanna say is if we keep getting it wrong, the pot builds, that's pretty good. Yeah. So right now we're at five bucks. Right.

So I don't wanna get it right yet, that's only five bucks. So I'll say someone I'm not really sure is 55. Jason Statham. Oh. How cool is that? I think he's 49, really. I do think that. Oh my God, he's 56.

We are circling the wagon. There is some sort of weird phenomenon that like whatever number you guess, you'll get like 54 or 56, like two or three times before nailing it. Yeah. I don't know why that is. Keanu Reeves is older than that.

Is that your guess? No. Is that your official? By the way, we're up to a $10 pot here. Let's go ahead and say yeah it is. Lock it in. Fucking Reeves. How old did you think he was when you said

he's not 55, he's actually. I thought he was like, I thought he was almost 60. Like 59. Yeah, he's 59. Really, all right. Yeah. Nice guess though. That was really good. You got the age he was. All right. All right. Nice guess though. That was really good.

You got the age you was now. The pots of 20. I wanted it to build. I wanted it to build. Go ahead, make your guess. Good, I will. Because it's Jennifer and I really bet she's gonna say. I was gonna say I didn't think you were gonna guess a woman

because you were sexist, but Jennifer and I actually was. Yeah. Jennifer and I in turn turns 55 in two months She's 54.9 Damn, and you know who's gonna be helping her celebrate one Lisa freaking Kudrow She's gonna say hey Jen congrats your 55 now like me. Wow, Lisa Kutro is 60. Fuck! So that's your third guess I have to.

So this is $25 in the pot right now. Right. Kutro is 60, holy smokes. All right, I'm thinking about late 90s celebs that were in their 30s, 25 years ago. And it just feels right slash automatic and like, I don't know, in a way that I'm like, yeah, for whatever reason, this is awesome to think that David Spade is 55. And your way off, your way off. He's also 59.

He's also 59. That's a $32 pot right now. Way to old way to old. Way to old. It was 60. Kudro is 60. That's curled the only guess. I was a strategic guess because Aniston was so close.

So I went to a different friend. Right. It was strategy. There was strategy there. I thought that was a freebie, a freebie buffet. Okay. Let's go ahead and say Steve freaking Corral. Yeah.

Steve Corral. Why not? I'll tell you why not. Because we have a new winner for Worst Pick. He's 61. Yeah. All right. Yeah.

That's seven incorrect guesses. The pot is now $35 as the tension mounts. And it mounts actually, cause you're not guessing the perfect guess. Go ahead. What is your? I know what it is. Do you know what it is?

Cool. I have a good guess for the next one. Yeah, really? I have a really good one. I have an amazing one actually. Let's hear it. Michelle Obama. That is really good. That is good. Yes. That's a good. Yes. She is our third 59. So I keep

being four years off. It's not a 40 dollar pot. Joe fucking Biden bitch is 99. I'm not. How about if we hit you with your, with a taste of your own medicine, basket ballings own Michael Jordan. Yeah, I think he's like 60 or something. Really? Yeah, I think he's 55. Yeah, he's 60. Is he? Is he really?

Yeah. Wow. It's almost Michelle Obama's age. 60. Is he really? Yeah. It's almost Michelle Obama's age, of course. Although for in the fucking zone of sports, how about we hit a dinger and we touch them all with baseball zone Big Mac. Steroid loving, bass running, big boy from Oakland, Bash brother, Mark McGuire, who says no. Mark McGuire himself, Mark McGuire, down to the wire. He's 60.

He is 60. That's 10, bro. We're going way too old. Try to miss young. Who drove through a song? Try to miss young. Aniston was 54 and that's the youngest we've gone. And I don't think she was the youngest friend.

I think the youngest friend was Ross or maybe it was Matthew Perry, RIP. This would be for $50 right here. I don't know, man. I'm trying to, I'm trying to blank. I'm at the level. I'm at the level Blaine. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Yes, I really am. I'm trying to, I'm at you. La Blaine, with the McGuire homerun. La Blaine turned 56 in July. Wow. Okay, we're off TV, we're off sports. There's another, I even guessed the politician, that didn't work out for me.

But there's a sweet spot here, and it's called films. Oh, films. Okay, films. Star of movie and screen. Imagine a guy who's so cool and new, but also kind of old. I think this guest will be all right, all right. McConaughey. Oh, McConaughey works too. I was gonna say fucking young Sheldon. It's gonna be young Sheldon.

Buzzinga. Right off the bat, does Matthew McConaowney feel right to you? Are you afraid of that guess? I've been afraid of all of the guesses. He, it doesn't feel right to me. I'm thinking 53. Okay. And by the way, this will be very poetic because this is for $55. This is our 12th guess. I love that now I'm actually afraid.

Yeah, now I think it is probably right. Matthew McCowney. By the way, if I just think it's right, then I think it is probably right. Matthew McConaughey. By the way, if I just think it's right, then I'm also kind of right. Like, oh, that's a really good guess. Like, that means that I'm pretty smart too if it hits. McConaughey is 54. We're up to a $60 pond. How about his best buddy Woody Harrelson? I would think he's older. But yeah, maybe one year older. Yeah, maybe eight years older. He's 62. You're absolutely the new leader for worst guess. We're up to $60. 12 for over 12. Here comes the guess lucky number 13. I've been circling the way.

I have a really good one by the way. I have a really good one. If you want to skip, I can go. I'm not sure if I'll skip. I'll skip, but then if you get the next one wrong, I win the boat. No. We're basically throwing half quarters up.

Okay, I can get to 55. We got Matthew McConaughey in the zone. What about a singer? A singer is a good idea. Yeah, a songstress. Yeah, Ricky Martin is Ricky Martin. It's a good boy. It's a really good guess. He's 51 our youngest guess. I

Was bluffing your ass. I thought that was a terrible guess. I'm surprised he's in his 50s I would have guessed 45 he looks right. He looks great, but that's part of the game You have to say that's a good guess when it's a bad guess. We're up to 60 or just someone to lock five or so Mike Myers guess when it's a bad guess. We're up to 60 or just someone to lock in or so. Mike Meyers. I believe he's older but I'll take a look. No, no, no, wait then I have different Mike Meyers. How old is Mike Meyers? 65. He's 60. Yeah, he's 60. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh like 5, 10. So I think this is 70. This is for 70. Yes. Sounds right. Who's a fucking 55-year-old bad at it? Yeah. All you need to do is think of a 55 year old. Yeah. Who's 50 fucking five?

And why? Oh, I got a pretty interesting one. Yeah, let's hear it. Feels right. It actually feels really right. Okay. Snoop Doggie. Dog.

I was gonna get Dr. Dre next. Okay. Yeah, let's see. He's 52. Then I won't get Dr. Dre. I feel like we've gotten every 50 except for 55. I actually do think it could be Dr. Dre, but I'm just gonna go ahead and do Adam Sandler

because we're, we're on this SNL thing and he's a little bit younger. Yeah, yeah. So that's a really good guess actually. Yeah, let's go like 70 bucks. The Sandman, 75. Ah. He's 57.

I'm still alive. Fuck. Damn it. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. You guessed remind me of your 14 guesses so far just so I'm in the memories. Yeah, okay. How about this?

Sandman's Love interest in a few films drew Barrymore That's good guess. That's a good guess. She's probably a little younger than younger. I think she's gonna be younger. She's 48, good on her. Wow, very young. That's actually a terrible guess. That's a Woody Harrelson-esque seven years off, guess.

Yeah, that's almost the worst guess. That's insane. Almost. Let's go ahead and say, Dr. Dre. I think this is for $80. Dr. Dre's dead. He's locked in my basement. Marshall Mather's style.

He's 58. Oh, damn it. Oh, I'm fucking dumb. I'm dumb. I think this is for $85. I honestly, this is getting out of hand. We really have to fucking get this at this. Yeah, we have to, we have to finish this.

We have to finish this. It's not that hard. It's Matthew McConaughey-esque. It's Jennifer Aniston-esque. Esk. Yes, sure. Esk. How old is

Aunt Becky A.K. A. Lori Lothlin. Hmm. Oh, I think she's gonna be older, but go ahead and lock that in. Lock that in, buddy. She's 59. Yeah, I thought so. She's 59. I mean, she's 59.

Of course, this is for $8. Not out of the window of all of our people. Like, you're trying to think of somebody that's like just after friends, you know? Yeah, or around McConaughey. Yeah, but that's what you did with McConaughey. Yeah, I mean, then, all right, but you guys first. If we're Kate Hudson.

Kate Hudson. Kate Hudson. Sorry. we're Kate Hudson Kate Hudson Kate Starry Yeah, like the late McConaughey's love interest and how to lose a guy in 10 days That's for it was older than McConaughey Or the same age. I think she was exactly the same age this I think this is in in play for worst guess Is 44. Okay, that's five. How, actually how dare you?

Do you not know how Hollywood works? I really do. Actually, let's just stop right now. This is very important. I'm six, so I was very more. Don't even matter how old Barrymore was. Because Kenneth was 44, you were 11 years old. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Just go. And this is for $85 and this is from Way Downtown because I do know, in fact, that this lady, this lovely lady actually, it's 55 and my God, she looks great. And give it up for Selma Hayek. Isn't she lovely? Way older. Way older. Yeah, fifty-seven. Way older.

Way, way, way. You guys get Hudson, so I don't actually hear any insults. All right, for $90 at this point, Jake. And I know sometimes you don't pay each other. I think we have to make a deal right now that the loser doesn't actually pay at this point. This is too much money to pay. This is too much money. We've each guessed wrong nine times. We haven't gotten one out of 18. Correct. Okay. So let's think about other friends had a lot of guest stars on it. So that's kind of an interesting.

Inform it. One of them was Paul Rudd, your first guest, by the way. Yeah. Oh, Paul Rudd was my first guest. Paul Rudd is, that's a really, that's a really, I'm gonna go back. Have we played long enough there you can guess again? And it was he true. Yeah.

Has he turned it yet? Okay. And Michael Jordan's 60. Yes, so that's, that one's obviously. Right, obviously. Yeah, not happening. Brett Farve, that's interesting. I love the Farve.

I love going football with this, yeah. Farve is in play, but I don't know if you wanna go all the way with Farve, right? How far can you go? How far began you get at 40? And I feel like that was 15-ish years ago. It was around then, yeah. And it was around 40.

You know, you'll be around 55. Yeah. So it won't be as embarrassing a guess as Kate Hudson, but I really want to feel a, yeah. I want to feel amazing about my guess. I got a really good guess, actually. Permission to steal? No, no, no, no, no, no, no way.

A Carson daily level. That's guess. That's what I'm- Imagine sitting next to Carson daily and Fred Durst as your two guesses. Yeah. Fred Durst is also not that bad. By the way, do I get a chance to match and mat

like a retribution shot? Yeah, I think you should. Okay, great. Let's go ahead and say farv. Let's say farv. I'll just say Brett Farv. Brett, great. All right, let's go ahead and say far. Let's say far. I'll just say Brett Farve. Brett Frickin' Farve.

Oh, my Lord, he's 54. He's 54. He was going 55 and a 54. I'm going to go with Ben Stiller, just because that feels perfect. Doesn't stiller just there's something about stillers. It just feels right. There's something about Mary starbrett farve reminded me of Ben Stiller. That feels perfect. This is for $95. Yep. Older is 58

Thought so is 58 and it says did you mean people also searched for any gave a 55 away? Which I won't look I won't tell you or use so just know that I could Jason won't fucking Tatum Oh my god the 25 year old schwarzazden Celtic. JK, Jason Badeum. Bademen, that's pretty good. Jason Bademen, that's really good. Jason Bademen, this is for $100. Jason, win me a hundred bucks.

Come on, really scared of this. He's 54. He turns 55 in January. My God, that's a good guess. It's So close. We're up to $105. Uh huh. You've guessed wrong 11 times, me 10.

This is, the pot is fucking, the crock pot is boiling over. This is a pressure cooker. I can't, now losing this money will actually hurt. I don't want to do it. Yeah, I don't want to do I don't want to. For what? That's right. It's a lot of cash. That's right.

And because you went first, I can just fucking end the game right here. But you would have let me match. Don't have to. I love the kisses each. You were over 11 and I will be one for 11. But I'm like, I feel like God. I feel like you will.

I should get to match. I think it's just you. I wanted me to come. Hey, I didn't get either What's in that zone late 90s early 2000 fucking What about New headgun podcaster David cross It's in play It's in play. I'll go David cross New headgum podcaster David Cross.

It's in play. It's in play. I'll go to David Cross. 59. 59. We're up to $110. $110. Yeah, I feel like you're messing with me. Debra messing. That's really good. That's right. She's way older than 55

But that's a really good guess. It's a really good guess for me because she's not Way older. How old could she be she's 55? Yes Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my goodness. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. Oh my goodness.

I just got an ill. I'm so happy. I just got to get it right here. That's a lot of money. That's 110. 110. Oh. That I won't be paying you.

That I won't be paying you. I actually really won't be. Because I got somebody who probably is not only 55, but is so exactly 55, it's right in the middle. Yeah. Or, it's like, they just turned 55, which is also really, really exact. Like, today's their 55th birthday. like they just earned 55, which is also really, really exact. Really good.

Today's their 55th birthday. If that is the case, then I'll then move you the full amount. I really have to think. Okay. There's a lot riding on this. I feel like we should institute a time limit. Let's say 10 seconds.

Yeah, 10 seconds feels like. Feels right. Just tell me when you want to start. 8 7 6 5 4

3 2 1 Charles Barkley It's not bad. It is bad. Michael Jordan 16 is roughly as old as Charles Barkley Barkley 60. Yeah, I was bad. Okay. You... Wow. You have to be debra messing with me. That was... Clutch. It wasn't as good as Frabie Buffet, but it was better because she actually is 55. My God, 55. Oh wow.

I'd love to see it. Should we just look up who's 55? All these people we missed. Like, I wonder if Will our net is, that was a possible guess for me. Will Smith right off the bat. Ellen DeGeneres. How will she, you know?

Will Smith, Hugh Jackman, Jamie Foxx, Daniel Craig, all these people we could've guessed. Owen Wilson, they showed me. Oh, Guy Fieri, fuck. Yeah, I wouldn't have guessed Guy Fieri. That's, he has a tough age to pin down. Let me pay you back in installments. I can't, I have the Warrenous dial.

I need to do three easy payments of 35 with interest. I'll give you It's a succeed interest rate. I'm okay with that. Can I pay you two hundred dollars in a year? Do you want one ten right now or can I give you two fifty and two years? In year and yeah two years Otani style you You get 250 and two years. In year. And yeah, two years. Oh, Otoni style. You can be $2 this year. I'm gonna take $2 this year. And then $68 million.

In 2039. In 2039. God dammit. Good work. Good job. Thanks man. Good fight. Good segments today.

I think we did good. I think this was a good one. Yeah. That was awesome. We only got to three. I think this was a good one. Yeah. That was awesome. We only got to three, but they're all hits. What are you gonna say? Yeah, I enjoyed myself. For more of us,

swaxing and waning philosophical, check out our Patreon.com slash J.A. Yeah, job. We're writing Jake Anameers. We're watching Jake Anameers. It's a whole diversified portfolio over there now. Incredible. And it's, this might be coming out on or around Christmas.

So what a better last minute Christmas gift. Oh, yeah, no, I got you something. Fuck. Patreon, bastard. Here's a login. The password is I love you. I thought about this for at least one month, maybe two, depending on the things go.

Yeah. All right, and we'll be back for this here podcast, Segments, aka Segmania next week. Segments. Bye, everybody. Adios. That was a Hid-Dum original. Hit them original.