If I Were You - 18: 100 Like Tweet

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

In this episode Jake fires off another Tweet, while we play Verdle and another rendition of Poetry or No-etry.Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Second Another podcast Second Each app different from the last Second It's the Swiss Army Knife of Shoes Now let Each a two emphatic hoax

Second It's a two-empathetic hoax She said, hey Yeah That's becoming its own subculture of the podcast is what we do during the theme song Oh really? Yeah I didn't know that Well it hasn't yet but I'm starting to, I want to put that in the ether You want more people on the YouTube

Watching the dancing or the scowl I was curious what sort of bit they would do during the theme. And that sort of incentivizes the YouTube of it all, because you're going to want to watch this episode. Again, we're in the same studio, so that's, you know, this is the most exciting version of the video. Yeah. None of that Zoom bullshit.

Honestly, I have Zoom fatigue. I have Zoom fatigue. And I have regular seeing you fatigue, too. I think I just have fatigue. I have long COVID. And I have regular seeing you fatigue too. I think I just have fatigue. I have long COVID and Zoom fatigue. And short COVID. Yeah, I have really short, which is current COVID. And then long COVID, which is COVID from the last COVID.

It's been around a while. I also have medium COVID. Right. And SARS, please. I have long bird flu and short SARS. And a swine Jacket boom, ba-do ba-do nice. Thank you. This is segments our new podcast with Jake and Amir so did you not know how to read my name it like breaks on the and and it threw me oh

For yeah, how does how to pronounce your name? I'm saying I'm J. Good on Marika. Good art. Got some new and some old segments today. Some classics and some freshies. Yeah. First being 50 like tweet. So let's get that thing up on the board because we are going to want max time for this viral tweet. Can I ask you is it we're recording it on Valentine's Day, is this a Valentine's themed tweet? You know, in a way it could be. Interesting.

In a way it could be. Is it about a small penis? Because that is often where your mind goes. It's not about a small penis. It's kind of more about word play. I'm embarrassed now because I thought of this. I think I thought of this like last week or two weeks ago and I was like I think I have a viral, not a viral, I didn't call it viral folks.

I didn't call it viral. I have a 50 like tweet. We were coming up with segments and I was like walking, I think I was walking the dog and I was like, oh that's kind of funny. I was like, yeah, I can tweet that from a mirror's account. Okay, so I'm giving you my phone. Well, now I'm nervous that it's been tweeted before. Now you're building it up. I know.

Okay, I will take a mirror's phone. I'm gonna attach one of these photos. No, wait. One of the most recent. Hidden folder, hidden folder, hidden sub folder. Recently deleted, give me your face. All right, I'm in wow. It's viral. Okay I'm trying to figure out the exact right way to you know display this yeah

But I think I've got it you you can punch this up. Okay. I don't think I'm gonna help you lose a bet. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's fair I don't think I'm gonna help you lose a bet. Yeah, that's fair. Okay. And what are the stakes for this one? It's usually me Venmoing you $50 or the other way around. Are you sticking with that? Yeah, Venmo, Venmo me cash. 50. For this? 50.

I bought a dollar for every like. That'd be awesome, okay. I'll do a dollar for every like, but a hundred is the over under. And if it goes over a hundred, I'll give you a dollar per like. And if it goes under a hundred I'll give you a dollar per like if it goes under a hundred you give me a dollar per like oh Interesting and it's by the end of the episode by the end of the episode. So it's really a hundred like tweet It's a hundred like tweet

But if you get close enough then you're actually owed less than 50 or you owe me less than 50 Hmm. Oh, yeah, so if it's so if it totally bombs Yeah, I'm not really that if Yeah, I think that's bad. And if it's two likes, you'll give me $98. Oh, I... But the upside is enormous. Like, the most I can give you is 100, and if it goes fucking viral, I will use tens of thousands of dollars.

Yeah, that's kind of cool. All right, let's do it. Really? I still barely understand. Okay, so 100 is the over-under. For any like underneath that, you owe me a dollar and for every like above that I'll give you a dollar Okay Now you have to tell me just at the very least if you've seen this before because as I've just not a hundred

Ask you for and I can see from here. You drew a dick using I Just think it's gonna get a lot of engagement The tweet is You drew a dick using. I just think it's going to get a lot of engagement. The tweet is. Do you like it? It's pretty good. Fuck Mary kill. Murder, marriage and sex. Casey loves it.

I love it. OK, I think it'll get a lot of people being like, fuck marriage, kill,, and marry murder. So they don't wanna play. Right, they'll play, but you don't know if they're gonna like it. Yeah, but playing is honestly good for engagement and it shows it to more people.

Right, okay. So I think 100 is a pretty solid line for this. Really? Yeah, fuck marry, kill, murder, marriage, and sex. Well tweet it already. Tweet it already already you're delaying Yeah, cuz fuck Mary kill is capitalized murder is capitalized with marriage and sex I think fuck Mary and kill should be capitalized right, right? Fuck Mary, Kale, yeah.

But then maybe the next three should not. Yeah, okay. So you have a little bit of a dog in this fight. I mean, this is going on your Twitter. Of course. So. Okay, I'm posting. Right.

So Casey, let's get it on the board. All right. Oh my god. It's viral. It already has five seconds. It has a virus. Yeah, I don't see it going anywhere. Really? Yeah.

Why don't you just give me $98 now? It's dying on the vine. Actually, my last tweet was pretty viral. It has 245 likes. Really? What was that one? It was a picture of Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn. And after they broke up after six years together, this was a year ago, and I retweeted it and I said,

crazy how she spent six years with this dude and nobody has ever heard of him because he plays for the Broncos. Nice, that's good. So that one did pretty well, topical. Making fun of sort of the Denver Broncos and the fact that I had not heard of this Joe Alwyn guy. Right, yeah, two for the price of one.

Fuck Mary Kill has 35 views and no engagement. No engagement. Well, those are obviously bots that are looking at it first and foremost. You are followed by lots of bots. You did buy a lot of your followers. From Azerbaijan, yeah. Turkmenistan specific.

So I think as the day goes on, because I mean what time is it in Australia right now? It's 8 AM. See, I was in Australia, I was online. Top of the line. As they're waking up in Melbourne. This is the ideal time to Z it. Yeah.

Oh yes, this is ex formerly Twitter. Twitter, yeah. Maybe that's the issue. Is that possible? Is there a way to add a poll to this? Okay, all right. This is ex-formerly Twitter. Yeah. Maybe that's the issue. Is that possible? Is there a way to add a poll to this? Okay. I actually can't find the tweet.

Interesting. I go to your Twitter profile and all of the tweets are like not in sequence. Oh yeah, that happens on Twitter sometimes. It's pretty bad. Even on my profile, the tweet is not at the top. No. I would have two likes we're being shadow bad. It has two likes hold on. This is this is a it's a DQ This is Dairy Queen right now. It has four likes. Okay. Let's keep it. Let's keep it going. This is fine You really can't find it Send it, you know, why don't you send it to Casey? Find it, your pin tweet is a tweet from 2020, August 13, 2020.

Wow, is that one doing well? So bizarre. Oh yeah, it's doing really well. Interesting. Over 200,000 likes. Jesus. Wow. Which one is that?

Imagine if that happened, I'd have to give you a fucking down payment on a house. Would you honor the bet? I'd have to. It was binding. I'd have to pay you $40,000 a month for half a year. Do you realize how much that would ruin me? It would ruin our friendship, but I would be rich forever. Because the tweak just keeps on getting liked.

But I'd have to cap it at the end of the episode. This is bunk. It's rather than bunk. I'd have to sell parts of my body. I'd have to donate a kidney. I'd have to donate spum. Yeah. You would be donating blood and spum.

I might have to donate spum anyway. I might enjoy to do that. Did you get my Slack message of the tweet? Yeah, yeah, pull it up. I can't believe I was shadow banned as always follow the money people There's a reason why Elon and his musketeers are suppressed. That's good That's what I post after any tweet that doesn't do well As always Okay do well. As always, follow the money. Okay.

All right, we're ready to get it on on the big board so we can do this weird reverse telethon where I'm actually hoping to god that the numbers don't go up. Right. It's nice to have like a big thermometer, a big countdown, a big countdown in the office. We should have that with how much money we're making as a company. Oh, that's a good idea. So like, if we ever do if head come goes public, yeah Then we have the stock ticker right that's actually not a bad segment

We just watch the stock ticker and we come in on the market. That's cool CNBC style. Yeah mad money Jim Kramer meets Cosmo Kramer now that we have the TV we should do like a jake in a mirror watch something Oh, that's cool. We watch our videos on our patreon, but we could watch watch it live have the TV, we should do like a Jake and Amir watch something. Oh, that's cool. You know, we watch our videos on our Patreon, but we could watch. Watch it live on the TV. Yeah, we could watch us watching a Jake and Amir on Patreon. That's kind of cool. For the next one, yeah, we'll do a Jake and Amir watch.

Jake and Amir watch. Jake and Amir watch. Jake and Amir. Yeah. For now, we're just watching, I think, Wag the Dog, which we definitely don't have the rights to. Would you say this is W wag the dog? That's definitely What would you give wag the dog out of a hundred um, I you know, I've never seen it, but I feel like it's

82 yeah, oh we're up. Oh my god. It has 12 likes, but we're still at the same time able to see wag the dog But we're still at the same time able to see wag the dog. So it's the screen. It's perfect. And then next to it. 12 is really good, by the way. Is it? Yeah. That's like, that's the best you've done, I think.

No way. If we were playing the 50, I would be like, that's, that's, it's not going to do well for me. Oh, interesting. And the fact that no one's engaged with it yet. Yeah. So this thing has legs. What's, how does the bet work again? So it has to break 50.

No, it has to get to 100. So right now you owe me $88. Oh, I see. 100 minus how many likes? Right. If it was like 112 likes, you know, you 12. That's a terrible bet for me. You took advantage of me. I didn't understand what I could do.

You led me astray. I trusted you. We should have done 75. Of course there was going to be a negotiation. There wasn't going to be a negotiation. It was, but you just said fuck it, I'll do the hundo. Because I said the most I can pay you is 100. The most you can pay me is 100.

The most I can pay you is infinite. The most you can pay me is 100. The most I can pay you is infinite. The upside is just, it's high really. You also just said you were gonna cap it at the end of the episode. So I'm gonna delete the tweet. I'm gonna delete the tweet. I'll cap you at 12. We're still sitting at 12? We're sitting ugly at 12.

And the fact that there's no reply. This is a bunk tweet. Refresh case. I urge, slash beg you oh my god We got a wrap up this episode guys, thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week It was a cool day when I thought of this You know it was it was early February in New York City, stepping off a curb, walking at work.

I said, you know, I hit my head. Click on the quote retweet. Who quote retweeted this? Casey. You're fucking, had to be Casey. You're fucking friends or something. We're not logged in. Sorry, dude.

Yeah, you can't watch this. Oh my God, we're at 18. Can't see it. I wonder if I can retweet this. No, don't retweet. 18. I can't see it. I wonder if I can retweet this. No, don't retweet. Yeah. I also give you that option if it's not doing well. Of course you can't retweet.

I might not be logged into Twitter. Okay, thank God. We got two replies. Okay, I actually enjoyed this one and the second one is on today's episode of segments. So people are sniffing it out. They know. They know. They know. Oh God, we're at 20 so far.

Wow. You're fucked, bro. I don't have the money on me yet, but I can end up paying you back. As soon as I log into X, you're absolutely down. If this gets a thousand likes, I'll post the picture of my asshole on main. That's what your, your quote retweet says that oh

Man password manager. Let's see what that is We're at 20 we're at 20. It's a solid start. You can't be mad at that No, I can't I can't and I'm not gonna be mad once I log in and give that old RT Okay, Russian twist. We'll keep this on in the background, but we gotta get to another segment. Okay. [♪ Music playing Alright, we're back. We're at two reposts. I wonder who's second one was.

Jake Hurwitz just king made this tweet. Good God, that's Jake Hurwitz's music. That will be a signal boost for sure. For sure. For sure. We usually save that till the third act, but you didn't want to see it. Well, I got to get to 100 because you fucked me over on this bet. Sabotage me. He had really cut me. You ruined me, man. Come off at the knees. I thought of a new segment called Virdal. It's verbal wordal. Right. So the game is the game of wordal, but I'm

just going to tell you how you do based on your guess, okay? This has a 80% chance of working cuz yeah, you'll get confused you'll ask me to look at concuss I won't remember what I said and when but let's see if we could do it. I have a word. Okay Now let's hear your first guess well normally in wordle my first guess is train or crane. Or, frame's not bad either. But it is you thinking of this.

So I'll go ahead and guess plate. Okay. Other than it in one. Plate. PLATE. Uh... Wait, plan. No, plate. Wait.

Great. Great. G-R-E-T? No, plate. PLATE. Yeah. Uh... Yellow, gray, gray, gray. P-A-T? No play. P-L-A-T-E. Yeah. Yellow, gray, gray, gray, green.

So the P and the E. P, that can go anywhere. And that E, that's right where it is. It's right where it needs to be. Okay. So let's move that P over one. Mm hmm. You idiot. It's not spade because that A is eliminated.

This is really hard. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of interesting. Because what ends with an E? Spoke. Spoke? Locking it in? Because did you repeat any of the letters that were green-grade out? Remember that?

Plate. Did you repeat any of the letters that were green grayed out? Remember that plate? You said the P was yellow, gray, gray, gray, green. Gray, gray, gray, green. Yeah. Yeah. So then I didn't repeat anything. Did I? I'm asking. Why is Casey giggling at me?

Because we can't remember more than one word. Plate. The P is yellow. Correct. So I'm moving it over one. That's fine. Okay Latte or LA yeah, I'll a T. You're not using LA team not using that's spoke and yeah, the east end exact same spot. Okay spoke locking it in yes green Yellow Green oh my oh Spoke locking it in. Yes. Green. Oh! Yellow. Oh!

Green. Oh my god. Gray. Green. So it's S blank. O is green? And the P was yellow. The P? Yeah, the P was yellow.

Yeah, the second letter was yellow. The fourth letter was gray. Okay, so we know that the P is before the E. It is S, blank, O, P, E. Yes. Uh, scope. Correct! Yeah!

Or should I say green, green, green, green, green. Green, green, green, yeah. Green, green, green. Very nice. Have it up here. Do you think that me getting it in three was pretty good? I do. And I honestly think it's pretty good for me too. Yeah, because you had to-

Because I did the heavy lifting really. Right. Yeah. Did we get a refresh on the tweet? Mm-hmm. That's really good. That's really good. I mean, the line was correct.

I am winning all over the place today. Well, you're down by 65 right now Yeah, but I feel like at this point with the two reposts two quotes two bookmarks. Do you see the People want to make this their own Love it. This is one of those it's it's a farcical Philosophical quandary. It's silly, it's funny. It's a farce you are, yeah.

You can tell this at a cocktail party. If you want to get kicked out. Anytime your friends are saying, playing fuck Mary Keele, you say, oh, I got one. Yeah. And I mean, oh, there's a typo. Well, it's on you. I gave it to you to prove free.

Okay, why don't you think of a word I'll try to play it? Okay. It's resisting the urge to make my word train. Hard not to think of train. Okay, let's go... It's been an hour. I have. Tiger.

Wait, hold on. All right, get a smile on the letters. Tiger. Okay, this is really hard. Yeah. Tiger. Gray, gray, gray, gray, gray. Casey, you fucked me.

That's actually helpful. Yeah. I'd be annoyed if there was a yellow. Right. Now, I just, any word that doesn't have T-I-G-E-R. Tiger's a fun one to start with. Yeah, it is. No I or E. Oh, there's an I and there's or E.

Oh, there's an I and there's an E. Sorry, what did I say? Sorry, what did I say? The word was logger. So I'm looking for an OA word of B-O-O-O. Wow, you can't think of a single word. An OA word, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Gray. Oh, yellow. Oh, gray. So P O and N are in it, but not in that place. Correct. P O N. Scoop. Scoop. Scoop. Scoop.

Scoop. Scoop? That's right. Final answer. Locking in scoop. No, because N was not it. I have to do N. P-O-N is in it.

Yeah. Ha ha ha. Spoon. Correct. That's it? Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Thought I could trick you with a double letter. Spoon. Spoon. Spoon. We start spooning. All right, let's get a refresh and a reframe. 41. Number 41.

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That's rocket money comm slash segments that way they know we brought you right on. Thanks rocket money. Thanks All right, we're back. Yeah, we got another repost another people are signal But those are I think you're discounting how many times people Reposting helps you. Yeah, you should be thinking for the next week. Obviously this one's not gonna hit 100 We get that that might not really know it's not you want something that people will signal boost for you Yeah, which is you know half the name of the game, but it's tough right and people want to play fuck Mary kill murder marriage In fact people are having a fun time. They're having a ball just looking at this Actually, I have a good recommendation, but it's too late. Hashtag Galentine's Day.

Oh, that's good. Maybe even hashtag belated Galentine's Day. Or happy hashtag belated Galentine's Day. Yeah, that puts it in some other feeds. Yeah, it's like, oh, that's interesting. That's funny. That's silly. I could retweet it with the hashtag.

You can't because you already quote retweeted. So I mean, you already re-posted. Can I re-seed it? You re-exposted it with the hashtag. You can't because you already quote retweeted. So I mean, you already re-posted. Can I re-z it? You re-exposted it. Okay, you have a poem. I have a poem. I've got three poems to read. Okay, so this is another classic poetry or noetry.

I'm 0 for three, you're 0 for two? Yes. This is your third poem. Yes, my third poem. Okay. And neither of us have ever won this game. No. These poems though are all by me. So wait, what?

Okay. I can't lose. So where did you find the two quote unquote real ones? One sent to me by a friend. Another. to quote unquote real ones. One sent to me by a friend. Another, I saw it recently on poems a day, poem a day. I think it's from the website poets.org. And loved it. And the other just came to me the same way.

Buck Mary kill, murder marriages. Buck Mary kill, how do I love you? Let me count the murder. Okay. All right, so which one do you wanna hear first, the one I wrote or the one other people wrote? Let's do yours first. Okay.

You would love that, wouldn't you? Do you wanna know the titles? Let's start with the first poem and the first title, but don't give me all three titles, I'll at once. Okay, the moon rose over the bay, I had a lot of feelings. This is, you're going right into it. You're going right into it with no feeling at all. That's the name of the poem.

Oh, okay, what's it called? The moon rose over the bay, I had a lot of feelings. That's the title? That's the title. Okay. What do you think so far, Casey? Feels kind of involved for a title. I like it. I am taken with the hot animal of my skin Grateful to swing my limbs and have them move as I intend though my knee though my shoulder though

Something is torn or tearing today a dozen squid dead on the harbor beach, one mostly buried, one with skin empty as a shell and hollow feeling. And though the tentacles look soft, I do not touch them. I imagine they were startled to find themselves in the sun. I imagine the tide simply went out without them. I imagine they cannot feel the black flies charting the raised hills of their eyes. I write my name in the sand, Donica Kelly. Janica Patrick. I watch 18 seagulls skim the sandbar and lift low in the sky. I pick up a pebble that looks like a green egg.

To the ditch lily I say I am in love. To the jeep parked haphazardly on the narrow street I am in love. To the roses, white petals rimmed brown. To the yellow lined pavement to the house trimmed in gold I am in love. I shout with the rough calculus of walking. Just let me find my way back, let me move like a tide come in." Okay. Okay.

Did you love it? like a tide come in. Okay. Okay. Did you love it? That one was, I'm 99% sure not you. Not you. Why? Because... Well, now I'm 100% sure, because you're really defensive about it. You think I could come up with that?

I thought it was too long and intricate and involved and about a woman in love and use certain languages that you would never use. I see. And you were sort of getting choked up about it. I wasn't getting choked up, it was just long. I was taking a breath. Okay, but you know, it's still in play. It's about like body stuff, which you like, like are always thinking about.

It's the beach, which you like, and like seeing things on Nantucket or whatever This one is called February February made me shiver Can we get a refresh real quick? Wow I was doing 55 and a 50-fold Five and a 50-fold.

Delbuzz or sharp ache, longing for belonging. Yours, what's your third? Why? Third one's called wine. No, sorry, I can leave it February. My name is Don Cacchelli. Delbuzz or sharp ache, longing for belonging or longing just for the longing that nagging feeling pulling, clawing, tearing until you're breaking bursting, yearning, then you're running charging

like a cow moose protecting its calf hoops pounding hoops pounding against the frozen earth as it trembles crumbles the grizzly scampers, humbled, those days when everything is clicking. This is awful. When you smile at the stranger, when you think finally of your neighbor. I wrote the Donica Kelly one. I swear to fucking God, I have a gun. The sun shines bright until it shines in your eyes.

Oh my God. I really hope this one isn't you. I want to have your respect later. Squinting, turning, then you're burning. Nothing good can last. Is a song? And at last, all that's good comes to nothing. Then you're sitting, next you're lying, yearning, returning.

Let's hear the third poem. It's moving. This one is called, The Niagara River by Kay Ryan. A lot of nature, a lot of winter, sort of all stuff you would also harken to. So it's nice that you're muddying the waters a little bit. As though the river were a floor, we position our table and chairs upon it,

eat and have conversation. As it moves along, we notice, as calmly as though dining room paintings were being replaced, the changing scenes along the shore. We do know, we do know this is the Niagara River, but it is hard to remember what that means. Okay.

First one, I'm solidified in eliminating. I'd be shocked if you wrote a really long poem about a woman in love like that. Donica Kelly. Yeah. Yes, that poem is by Donica Kelly. Yeah. Okay. I thought having her name in there might trip you up. Yes, exactly. But you knew that I wasn't that smart. Yeah, it's just for whatever reason,

like names that we make up never sound real. They're always just like, yeah. Yeah. Like I could never come up with Donica Kelly. Right. I feel like I could. Yeah. I could come up with Donica Kelly.

I would say something like Rachel Summers. I'm just like, okay, that's obviously you. Right, right, right. Two equally random names. Anyway, shout out to Donica Kelly. Incredible poem. Yeah. It was long poem. Yeah.

It was long too. When it's really long, it gives you ample opportunity to say something that I'm like, oh, that one's definitely you. Yeah. And that one just kept going and going and going. Right. Yeah. Never did I ever think it was you.

Did you like that poem? I thought- Because it had some calculus. It had 18 seagulls. I thought you might like some of the, you know- Yeah. It didn't really move me, but I appreciated it as good, or at the very least good enough

that I know you didn't write it. Right, okay. The second and third, I'm trying not to get tripped up by the fact that you were sort of crying and laughing reading the second one, which is like you were either moved by it and nervously giggling or laughing at the fact

that you obviously wrote it And then I was figuring it out in real time And it was called February which is the month we're in that's true The third one is Niagara River, which is another thing you like you like upstate New York Sheik shit like oh the river and the Brooks and the fields and the forest and whatever. Yeah The third one is sort of a nothing burger. I don't even remember any part of it right now. Really?

It was like eating dinner on the bed and it's constantly changing. So, but a lot of poems I think are nothing burgers. So like that could have been a real poem. Right. Again, I'm thinking about the length of the poems too. The third one is a lot shorter than the second, right? Yes.

The third one is a short poem. The second one also had a lot of the repeating stuff, like the yearning and blurring and herning, like that style. Yeah, it's herning for sure. So now I'm trying to figure out. Can I ask you to read part of the second one again? Of course. The first stanza or two.

No problem. Dullbuzz or Sharpache, longing for belonging or longing just for the longing. Yeah, like that. Why does this one rhyme in the second one? The third one does not at all. Now read the beginning of the third one. As though the river were a floor, we position our table and chairs upon it. That's pretty good. It's much better than longing for belonging or longing for belonging.

But you also could have done like a silly or rhymy one to throw me. But I have to choose. You do. I'm gonna say, oh wow, as soon as I'm like, you wrote the second one, I'm like, no, he wrote the fucking the riverbed one that's constantly changing. He loves the Niagara River. So, but just to be clear, you're trying to figure out which, you know, like what I would do.

Yeah. You don't like either of these last two poems. I thought the second one, the first one stood out above and above the rest. Okay. These second two are kind of more elementary. Wow. I wrote the first one. Asshole.

That would be a great reveal I'll say you wrote You stop let's get a refresh on this tweet. Let's get a refresh under 69. Okay 66 or two-thirds of the way there My god OK, 66 or two-thirds of the way there. My God. I'm like 51, 49, trying to think of any like, would you do the longing for belonging or is that like, no, I'm not going to make it rhyme because that's too obvious, but I'll give them the rhyming one. Also, you wrote the Niagara River one.

Really? Yeah. Wow. Niagara River. It is by K Ryan You loved February I laughed at it Only cuz I was laughing this one's you you were moved by it longing you's longing I was laughing. This one's you. You were moved by it. Longing for belonging.

Longing for belonging? Are you longing just to want something? You don't really know what it is. That's actually really beautiful if you think about it, which you're obviously not. I second guess myself. All right, let's read it again. Wow, this is the first victory in poetry or poetry.

Casey, did you have any inclination? Inclination? Yeah. As to which one I liked? As to which one Jake wrote. I was leaning February. I was leaning February. You could say, you know, you could like it and know which one I wrote. Wow. You got me. Okay, let's read it. February. Yeah. By Jake Hurwitz. Nice. Actually, you lost. Why don't you read it it was long which is

why I was like maybe that one's not I spent time writing it yeah you did I was the only way I was like the only way I'm gonna trick a mirror is if I like kind of really try to write a poem I just when you said dull buzzer shark sharp ache I'm like this is yours because sharp ache yeah you're constantly thinking about aches and pains. Totally. Longing for belonging or longing just for the longing. Wow.

That nagging feeling pulling, clawing, tearing. Now that I know it's yours, what was I thinking? Gorgeous. Until you're breaking, bursting, yearning, then you're running, charging like a cow moose? This part I looked up. Yeah. I think you also looked up an animal the last one

or like what a certain word meant. Right, yeah, yeah. I was like, he won't think I would use the word cow moose. That does, it sounds like I like left a word in there by accident. Right, exactly. Why cow moose? Right, but I don't.

Protecting its calf. Yeah, a cow moose is something that will protect its calf. Anyway, go ahead. So it was pounding against the frozen earth as it trembles, crumblesumbles the grizzly stands down Scampers humbled. Wow This rhymes It's kind of a slam poach. Yes, exactly those days when everything is clicking when you smile at the stranger

When you think fondly of your neighbor don't we all know that feeling Don't we all know that feeling? The sun shines bright until it shines in your eyes. Oh no. If you read that, that's obviously. Yeah, that's bad. That line's not great. I had to finish it last night because I knew we were going to do the segment. It shines bright until it shines in your eyes?

Yeah, then it's really right. Yeah. Squinting, turning, then you're burning. Nothing good can last, and at last, all that's good comes to nothing. Whoa, look at that turn. It's kind of a fuck Mary kill murder marriage sex. It goes down to 12.

Then you're sitting next to your lying, yearning, returning. There's a lot of rhymes in here. Was that a specific thing to throw me off, or you just got this. No, I was just like, I'm just going to try to write a poem about something and I was like I'm I Was you know that feeling that that nagging feeling It's like when I

Think it's like it happens a lot in New York in the winter where you're just like you're It's just like wanting you don't really know what you want, but it's like It's just like wanting and you don't really know what you want, but it's like Yarning burning and herning. That's that's the longing just for the longing. Yes, but not longing for belonging to so I was like I don't have anything like I can't write Nyak River So I'm just gonna write what I'm feeling and it was just feeling restless Yes, so I was like writing for the feeling that I wanted I wanted that energy of the cow of the cow moose the feeling that I wanted, I wanted that energy of the cow moose charging, breaking the frozen ground. Cow moose is the type of moose or kind of cow?

It's a, I just Googled moose that charges. Got it, and what was cow moose? And yeah, it said cow moose are the ones that charge. And yeah, then I was like, well, it's kind of interesting, you know, it comes full circle, cause you know, sometimes things are good, but then they come back and when they're bad, sometimes they're good.

So it was like, yeah, the yearning returning, I think that's a really powerful final image, Casey. Casey? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Casey? That's right, yeah. Yeah. And you were laughing and sort of tearing up

while reading it. I was not moved. I was really embarrassed. I was laughing because I was shy and I thought it was bad as I was reading it out loud. It's very different when you're looking at it on a text document than when you're reading it out loud. Presenting it as a poem to be like,

do you guys like this? So then it was pretty bad. But I personally, I was moved by Nyak River. I thought it was great poem. I thought that one was yours because it was shorter and then it was just about like a river which you can easily speak to totally body of water. Yeah, did you try to find two poems that? Sounded like something you could write or those are just two poems that were sent to you No, it was just that I liked that other one and then this one was sent to me

But I was grateful as I read it. I was like, oh, Amir could like Niagara, that's where your character is from in Jake and Amir and Niagara Falls. So I was like, he might think that that's, yeah, and then the other one where she mentions like aches and pains in her body, I was like, yeah, that's perfect, because that's kind of me. And like being in love.

And I also thought it was like a little all over the place, but in a nice way, you know, it's like about the beach. And then all of a sudden it's like, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love. So I'm like, yeah, Amir could think that I wrote that too. But yeah, February is, what is it about February? It's the current month. I should have known.

And a woman waiting home to you. Actually August was you. Actually August was your favorite part of February. Yes. When I instantly said you wrote it, my least favorite part is when I changed my mind at the end. And what part of it moved you? The cow moves. Imagine riding it off into the sunset. The Grizzly stands. Unbelievable. Let's get a refresh on this tweet. 81. I mean, that's pretty, that's the best you've done.

Yeah, let's go to break and we'll have one more segment. I don't think so. Yes, of course we'll have one more segment. What have we had running time was? We've been rolling for 40 minutes. That's only 40 minutes, that's pretty short. We tend to do these for at least 45. OK.

I guess we can think of it. Let's do one more segment. Yeah, one more segment. We'll have to. Yeah, we have to. All right. Yeah. Ha.

Ha. Ha. Ha. And so. All right, we're back. OK. One last segment to rule them all slash kill enough time for you to get closer to 183.

It's not going to happen, is it? I'm just going to bend my U11 right now. I could have made 50 fucking bucks easily. Yeah, easily. You made me bo- You conned me. You hoodwinked me. You're a shice.

I just searched your poem. You didn't write February. I helped. You changed one word and you called it your own poem. It's an homage. All right, you sent me an email from 2008. Yeah, I had a random idea that I could just search script in a date range on my phone.

Basically the word script before 2009. Okay. And I found one that wasn't produced as a Jake and Amir because this was a promo for our MTV show. Wow. Do you remember shooting the promo? No, this is like to air before our Jake and Amir videos to promote the TV show.

Yeah, do you remember what it was called? We were like in this Sunday night lineup with like ridiculous news. Nitro circus. Nitro circus, us, and maybe there was another one, or maybe it was three. It was one last show, yeah. That's a good question.

This is good MTV history question. Back when MTV had more than one television show. Oh, wasn't it the show that is still on TV all the time? Like, oh, Fantasy Factory. Fantasy Factory. That's what it was. It was ridiculousness and Fantasy Factory? Maybe it was Robin Big or something. Right.

It was a lot of Rob Dierdek content. Yeah. And Nitro Circus was like a BMX bike or something. It was like Jackass adjacent. Yeah. But more like crazy stunts. Yeah. And it was called CU Sunday, right?

CU Sunday. Oh, that was the name of the block. Like, yeah, the block was like, yeah. And we and we went, we had like a big photo shoot. I remember like every single kind of like set we'd ever been on, even when we were shooting the College Humor Show was just, we shot it in our office.

So small. It didn't feel like different than, you know, any of the College Humor sketches we'd been doing. And then we went and we did like the MTV promo with like their crew and their cameras. It was like a circus themed thing. Yeah, and it was this giant like soundstage. I remember being very sick.

Oh yeah, you had a huge, you had a really bad cold. Yeah, I think I had a flu or something because I remember they were like, all right, get into this like evil, conneval thing and sit in this cannon. And I was like so cold and sore. Yes. Would not fly today.

And I don't know if, I don't even, like I remember that there was like a photo shoot of it. Yeah. And it was for a while it was like out in front of the Times Square building. Yeah, that's a big deal. Yeah. And apparently we filmed something also

because they asked us to write like little interstitials for when you were in this cannon. Okay. So which ones do you want to start with the one the ones that you wrote? Oh, oh, I see. So this is while I'm in the cannon to be shot while we're shooting a promo on the other thing. No, I think they asked us to write this. Holy smokes. All right, let's write.

Let's read the ones you sent. Got a few. Okay, well, wait, no, scroll down to you say thoughts on this. This is yours, I think. Oh, smokes. Okay. All right, here we go. Amir is in the cannon with a helmet.

Jake approaches. Sap. Hey, what are you doing? Chilling. In a cannon. Yes, specifically chilling in a cannon, yes. I guess why. Well, remember how you said we could hang out when pigs fly? a cannon, yes. I guess why. Well, remember how you said we could hang out when pigs fly?

I never said that. Don't interrupt. Well, I figured maybe pigs can't fly, but I sure as heck can. You're not gonna fly, you're gonna die. Same thing. Not even close to the same. They rhyme. Can you just get out?

Dinner tonight. Sure. Cool. Just light this baby and point it towards a decent restaurant, please. Nothing with salads. And that was used to have the greatest debut in MTV history. History. We were watched by 23 million people that year.

I remember the first episode came out and everyone was so worried about the ratings, and we had a million people watch and it was like pretty good, a million. Yeah. Which is like insanely good now. Insanely good now, yeah. But then like the next week it was like 800,000, that's 600,000, then like 400,000, 2500,000.

It was getting lower and lower and Rob Dirdic is staying the exact same. So the drop off from him to us is growing wider. Well it was like fantasy factory, skateboarders doing insane shit into a gym foam pit. Yeah. Sketch comedy featuring eight white 23 year old guys. Narrative scripted comedy.

Then after that, nitro circus, skateboarders blowing themselves up and the writings were like huge, small, huge. They did, they put us in the exact right zone to succeed. Yeah, and we got it. They gave us all of the tools. No, yeah. Can you believe, all right, so then I,

I guess I punched it up. Why don't we go down to the second one? Jake approaches a mirror in a cannon. This is your got a few? Yeah, I guess I said I got a few. Okay. You say? Sup?

Wow, what are you doing? Check me out, I'm a human burrito. You're inside a cannon. Like my tortilla string. That's the fuse. Okay. So you're starting to understand it's a cannon? Well...

Want some help out? Yes, but only if we can go get Mexican food together. Nope. Double or nothing. Doesn't quite make sense. Get me out of the fucking cannon. Can you believe the same guy that wrote this, wrote February, and wrote fuck Mary, kill, murder, marriage, and sex?

You contain multitudes. It's amazing. All right, there's one more. Jake approaches Amir in a cannon. Jealous? Nope. That I'm a daredevil? It didn't matter what you were gonna say.

Not a person to live on the edge, are ya, Jakey? So you wanna get shot from a cannon? Maybe break your skull, explode even? Ha. Not kidding. Get me out. What, light the fuse? Yeah, right.

Okay, sure, I'll ignite the cannon. Ha ha ha, shut up. Amir rolls out of the cannon and hurts his back. Ha, so that's a back flip or? You want to go to the hospital? Yeah. God damn these are good. I feel like I just found the Mona Lisa in an attic.

See you Sunday, everybody. If we look at like MTV schedule now, it's like 23 hours of Nitro Circus. I feel like they're not replaying the MTV show at all. Yeah, it'd be really, I wonder if we could watch an episode of our old show. Somebody like downloaded them and sent it to us. Really? So I think we can watch it.

God, that would be embarrassing. We should do that as a segment. We could watch, I don't know, five minutes of it, see how long we can stand it. Before one of us gongs it to stop. All right, so that's about it. Why don't we do the whole sign off thing, and then we refresh and see. All right, thanks so much for watching.

We'll be back next week. Let's vamp it up a little bit. Cause where are people, you know, where are they gonna go to our Patreon? Yeah, patreon.com.com. That's J.A. We're watching. You usually do more of like a thing. I don't think so.

It's really less like we're in and out. Appreciate you guys checking us out on YouTube. Everybody would just want to say, thanks so much. I'm gonna re-several again. I got this herning, yarning, burning, feeling inside me. Oh man, you love that poem. It's in your head

Zombie all right. Let's say you owe me a hundred dollars minus. It's gonna be like 92 you're gonna owe me eight dollars Final verdict drumroll, please 92 mailed it solid. I get a smoothie at Aero on this is so fucked I shouldn't have taken the deal and just think I was gonna give you $50 That's absurd. No way. You eight bucks. How about now? Six repos all right votes and two people bookmark it. I love you bookmarkers get next episode It's us interviewing those two people So what did you love about February? Oh yeah, I must have accidentally clicked it or something. All right, see you guys next week.

Bye. That was a hit gum original.