If I Were You - 186: Polyamory (w/Elliott Morgan!)

Episode Date: November 30, 2015

Comedian/Actor/Writer/Host Elliott Morgan is in the house to discuss butts, crushes, and love triangles.This episode is brought to you by BeekeepersNaturals, BirkSun, and ThrowBoy.com!See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Words that sound similar. Yeah. Uh, I got it. I got it. Wait, how did it start? I don't know. How many rhymes are in one rap?

Yeah. Yeah. That's the coolest thing. That's the coolest thing. Uh, his name was David Daigle Carnignan. He's from French Canada. Uh, but his artist name, his artist name is Morniel. His artist name is also hard to say.

Yeah. M-O-A-R-N-I-A-L. And he's on Patreon, Facebook, Twitter, Samclad. You know where it is. Morniel. Morniel. Uh, Elliot Morgan. Hey.

Elliot Morgan. Correctly. Elliot Morniel. Elliot Morniel. You're also French Canadian? Yeah, I am. I make tight beats as well. Was this you?

It was. I'm a huge fan of you guys. Holy shit. You're a really big fan, yeah. Thank you so much. I've actually been camping in your backyard for about 30 minutes. That was you. Yeah.

I'm sorry. You were bathing in the fountain. I was. Yeah. Well, where else, you know? You were taking a bum shower in my sink. Yeah. I didn't want to creep you guys out, you know, I tried to stay.

Just in the public areas. Yeah. Yeah. Smart. Stay out of my bedroom. But you can take all the showers you want in my sink. I'm not a monster. With a dry, a dry cube of soap.

Yeah. Brushing up against your armpit hair. Oh, wow. Sorry about that. No, that was great. I painted a bad picture, buddy. Uh, how would our fans know you? Or even if they don't, why don't you explain who the fuck you are?

Oh, God. Have you ever got recognized? Mm-hmm. I do. And they come up to you on the street and they say, oh, you're that guy. Yeah. I've gotten recognized mostly from SourceFed, which is a YouTube news comedy channel. Whoa.

YouTube news comedy channel. Yeah. That started back in 2012. I did that. Life was so much better then. Was it not? Was it not? 2012.

Yeah. This was pre-all that shit. Yeah. Pre-all that shit. Yeah. Forget everything you know about 2014. Yeah. It's actually a BC and AD stand for everything.

Just pre-all that shit and post all that shit. Both pre-2013 and post. So I was SourceFed and then now I do standup and I host for a show called, the other thing I often get credit for is a show called Misconceptions on a channel called Mental Floss where I tell people how they're wrong about everything and I host for Lip Sync Battle, I've done some stuff with Mashable. Geez. You're just all over the internet.

Yeah. I'm like a host. Yeah. Like a host with the most for the internet. A hostess with the most. Yeah. For the internet. Yeah.

For the internet. Yeah. Jake and I also made a living online. So it's like I feel like we've been orbiting the same universe, never actually hitting each other. Nope. Never. Yeah.

Like Adams. Yeah. Yeah. Appearing and appearing. Right. Yeah. A nucleus and an electron. Never actually.

We're just constantly rotating. This is actually the Higgs boson that they're going for. No. You guys are both smart. I don't even know if I pronounced that right. It's the Bigs. How do you know what it was, dude? That says so much more than I could ever ever.

Are you smart? I don't think so. No. I think I'm... That's usually what smart people say though. You know what? I think I've learned this. My therapist told me.

I think I'm intuitive. Oh, you're street smart. That book's there. But I'm not. Maybe street smart? Like the street smart way to say intuitive? I think that's what I am. Yeah.

I'm intuitive and street smart. And I'm actually really tough. And I'm very handsome. That's another good thing about me. That's what my therapist tells me. Yeah. No, I don't think I'm not as well read as I should be. No.

Do you read? I see all these books. You guys got a bunch of books. Yeah. We have a lot of books in our studio, but I personally don't read as much as I should. Gotcha. You know what happens? I get to a book and if it's bad, it slows me down and then I never stop reading it and

I never pick up another book. Yeah. That is the problem. Because you're a book finisher. Yeah. You'll start a new book. I've had a half finished read biography of the Wright brothers on my nightstand for like five months.

Yeah. And I just, I can't find the energy to lift it up in here and read more about how they fucking went back and forth from Kitty Hawk trying test flights. Didn't work. They go back to Ohio. Then the next summer they go back to Kitty Hawk. It's interesting because like the beginning of flight is maybe one of the most interesting things in the world.

Yeah. And I'm about halfway done with the book and it's just, I'm so bored. I don't care about planes for the first time. I just know what'll happen. They'll eventually figure it out. The birth of flight. Yeah. That's how I come.

I can't read biographies like at all or autobiographies, autobiographies especially. I read a thing literally about autobiographies and why they so rarely work. Why is it? Because the, the, the, the subject, yeah, it doesn't know itself well enough to talk on it objectively. Whenever I read a biography, it's like the person has to be so fucking interesting, right? Because like usually somebody's done like a couple of interesting things, but with every biography I've ever read, it's like they just try to make, they stretch everything,

every single aspect of like, you know, the most, like high school, we don't need a hundred pages on it. No, not even in a real high school. Yeah. Like we didn't need that. You know, the real problem is we just saw Hamilton and now like, what am I supposed to do? Read a book or article about?

Everything should be made into a rap. Yeah. If everything can be made into like a rap hip hopper, I'd be down to watch and enjoy. We'd actually do a lot with the Wright brothers. Yeah. With the Wright brothers or maybe just like. Because Wright rhymes with flight and I mean like the rest writes itself. Whoa.

That was really good. That was really good. Oh my God. It's happening. You're on Broadway. Are you serious? I really think so. Jesus Christ.

I guess I am. It's kind of crazy. Well, it's kind of... You can add that to your list of good qualities. We have a... I can do a lot of push-ups and I'm, I can rap and be on Broadway. Instead of a biography, Jake and I will just have a collection of podcasts where we're just venting about what we think about things.

That's way better. Yeah. 21st century version of a biography. And I don't know if you've ever listened to the show, but this program is actually called If I Were You and it's an advice podcast. It's basically the only advice podcast on the internet that Jake and I host. Okay. And I was going to say.

Yeah. And usually it's just... I've heard of another one before. Usually it's just us two giving advice and sometimes we have guests, friends, family. I'm all of those. Yeah. And hosts. Here we have my brother.

Get out of the chair, Elliot. Like, he's that guy from SourceFed and Jake's brother, right? So if you want, if you can, do you mind trying to answer some advice questions with us for the next, let's say... Dude, I would love to. 39 minutes. Yeah. That's it.

As always, Elliot, these are real emails from real people. We give them fake names. That's right. To reserve their anonymity. Good. Good for you guys. That's very sweet. Give me the name of a lady.

Jessica. Jessica. It's beautiful. Did you make that up? Yeah. I just kind of threw some syllables together. I never heard that before. Yeah.

If it sounds like a name, it's just... That's all my brain works. I don't want to get into it. Wow. It's not spelled in the way that you think. Oh. J. D-R-Y-S-I-K-A.

What? Yeah. Jessica writes. So hot. There was a Jeressica in my high school. That's true. Jeressic Park. Jeressic Park.

I've been in a relationship with a girl for about four months now, and when we first got together she mentioned that she preferred polyamorous relationships. We agreed to talk about it properly if one of us developed feelings for somebody else, but I was hoping that would never happen. But she told me yesterday that she has a big crush on a boy she works with and isn't sure how to address it. It makes me really sad and anxious thinking about her dating someone else, but it makes me feel worse to imagine not being with her.

Should I act cool and give polyamory a try or try to compromise with her or just cut and run? Please help, love, Jessica. All right. Complex. Okay, yeah. This is a big, I'm excited about this one. This is a fun one.

Diving right in. This girl's so cool she's gay, which is the coolest you can be. So that's what we need to get out of the way. And her girlfriend is even cooler because she's bi, which is even so much cooler than you get. Have you ever met somebody who's just straight? Oh, it's disgusting. It's like get over yourself.

What's the point? I feel like they're just doing it to fit in. It's so 2012. They're doing it for attention. Yeah, exactly. That's why I'm gay now. I love that. What's your relationship history, by the way, just so I can understand your advice through

the lens? This is historically monogamous. I got married when I was 20. What? That's so early. You got married at age 20? Age 20. In college?

We're like middle of college. As soon as we found that information out, we were mad at you. What the fuck? Get out. Why did you? How did you? When did you? We got married in July of 2007.

I don't care what month. It was a beautiful wedding. The theme was sports. We were high school sweethearts. We had a relationship and then we got engaged and then we got married. Was this all before you lived in LA? This is like... Yes, this was in Florida.

We also have... This is a fun fact that people usually find fun. I'm over it because it's been my entire relationship. Well, I can't wait. But we have the same birthday. It's like day and year? Yes. Oh, that is cool.

And we have the same mom and dad. Oh, that's amazing. You're twins. You guys are twins. Very progressive. We should have had this reaction when he said we were married and the other reaction when he said we were twins. Yes, you really blew your reaction low.

We were sweet about this one. That's so nice. Were you guys born in the same city? In the same hospital, same mom. No, yeah. We were born different cities, I believe. Different cities, same date. Same date, yes.

Different cities, same mom. She grew up in Key West. I grew up in Central Florida. We wound up meeting in a high school when we were 14. So this is your first lady? Basically, yeah. First everything. Yeah.

And so I am completely able to talk as an authority on the subject of polyamory. It is funny because I know a good group of people who identify with that sort of lifestyle and I think it's very interesting. I have other people who are very against it and other people who are... I think it comes down to the fact that not everybody's cut out for it. There's nothing that's great about it or nothing that's bad about it. It's just a way to be. But this girl clearly can't be polyamory.

No, she's like, I was hoping it would never come up. She was hoping like, yeah, polyamory, that's cool. It sounds cool. As long as it never happens. Yeah, it sounds cool because you get to hook up with other people. Right. But then you realize it's actually just other... Your loved one hooking up with other people.

There's also no playing it cool when you're already this anxious. And it's also like you're not the... I think the mentality of it is like if somebody comes to you and they're like, okay, well, I said I was polyamorous, which is good, okay, we're open about it. And then they try to act on it. The other person feels like they don't have validation and they're like attachment to that person because they feel like they have to appease that sort of thing. But it's like you're not...

She's... Right. She's not being herself right now. Yeah. Okay. No, it's totally cool. I love that because I like you and you're polyamorous and so am I and I'll find somebody but then she's just going to be sad by herself.

Yeah, exactly. So that's not... What if your wife broached that topic to you? Would you be like, hell no? Or would you be like, that's interesting. First of all, it would come out of nowhere. This one was at least set up. Yeah.

Sorry, I just want to fuck your wife as well. That's fine. She's his wife, dude. He's his sister. Yeah, come on, man. That's my twin you're talking about. You know what? I'm going to tell our dad right now and he's going to be pissed.

Oh my God, my phone's ringing. I'm your father. Shit. This is amazing. We're from Florida. Yeah. Well, if my wife came in and did that, yeah, I'd be like, no, but that hadn't been previously discussed either.

Yeah, no. I'm just saying in general. Just in case. You wouldn't be down for that. No. I don't think so because I think here's the thing. There is a, the polyamory thing, I think sometimes you can put certain labels on things and it makes it sound maybe a little bit cooler than it actually is in practice.

Polyamory is a cool word. It is super cool. I mean, and it's like you can, you know exactly what it is right off the bat. It sounds very progressive. It sounds loving. Yeah. Like I get to have a lot of threesomes. Yeah.

That's amazing. I know people who like say that they're polyamorous and they believe that they have so much love in them that it's so much that it can't be just simply for one person. Yeah. It's a nice sentiment. I don't really necessarily know how that works, but maybe I'm just like barely amorous at all. Oh, you're, you're non-amorous.

I'm non-amorous. I have no amory. Yeah, exactly. I'm amaryllis. I'm from amaryllis. So would you ever be down to be polyamorous? I would be polyamorous. It sounds like it's right up your alley.

Yeah. I think the complex thing is just like sticking to your guns when you start to have feelings for someone. Cause like polyamory, that's just, I feel like that's almost just like base level for me. Like I want to fuck a bunch of people. Sure. But would you define that as amory or like just polylust? Yeah.

It's poly. That's what it is. Poly, it's polylust. Like, oh wow. Yeah. Like I don't, I won't settle down. Like we'll be, hey, we're sort of in a relationship, but we get to hook up with other people and that's all great.

Yeah. But as soon as you start to really like somebody. Yeah. What do you do? At least for me, as soon as I start to like, really like somebody, I'm like, well, wait a second. Yeah. It's just between us.

Yeah. How do you, how does that work? This is the real quick thing we got going, please. Yeah. What are you doing? Huh? Darling? How do you get to like, if once you start hooking up with somebody else, you, don't you inherently

like the original person less? No, not necessarily. You don't like the original person less. See, I don't, I feel like there's, maybe I'm wrong and there's, I'm usually am, but I feel like actual polyamory, it would be like, you're literally like in love with two people. Oh, like in polyamory, like, yeah, it's not just being single polyamory is like, it is a relationship between like multiple people, but those people are in a relationship.

So it'd be like us three and our other roommate, Marty, right? Yeah. That'd be great. The four of us are just the fuck in each other and we're all in a relationship and that's pretty good because we can all like sort of interchangeable equality that I think the inherent problem with polyamory is like, what if one time I come home from work and you guys are all fucking and it's just like, whoa, whoa, you guys just, you prefer fucking without me.

So it's another time. I just want to go to a movie and you're left at home and it's like, well, wait a second, why don't you guys like me? It's almost worse because you ever get that feeling in your group of friends, like no one's laughing at my jokes and everybody's laughing at another person's jokes. Well, no, because everyone loves my jokes, but actually your jokes are often very racist. This is a fucking intervention. No, but you know, you know that feeling of like not being worthy to other people.

Right. It's like, imagine that being so heightened because the people that you think aren't interested in you are the people that are like your two boyfriends and girlfriends or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little scary. So there's a difference between open relationship and polyamory.

Polyamory is like a group of three people constantly hanging out and open relationship is like, oh, I'm hooking up with you, but I also have a side chick. Yeah. And a main piece. Yeah. There's a side chick. There's a main piece. There's a side dish.

Yeah. There's a thigh piece. Oh, what is that? What's that last one? Yeah. Whole wrap song. Tell me about the thigh piece. It's a Boston Market wrap.

I've been working on it. Oh, yeah. And then there's mashed potatoes and corn. It's so good. I'm Boston Market. Dude, I love it. Did they have that in Florida? No, they got it in Burbank, though.

Really? Yeah. It's really good. The Florida of Los Angeles. That's exactly what Burbank is. Just really wide streets, strip malls in Boston markets. Yep. Just rotisserie chickens.

Good gas stations. Oh, great. Just clean shells. Clean shells. Just a nice shell. I like a Chevron. Yeah. You never...

Oh, a good Chevron is nice. How about a Hess, again? Oh, I don't fuck with Hess, actually. It's a little too east coast for my taste. You know what? That's fine, man. Do you do it? Anything with Tecron, a Chevron is good.

76. 76. If I just got paid that day? 76, man, myself. Really? You have a loyalty. Yeah. There are places that have had huge spills.

So an Exxon Valdez. You're a VP of yourself. Yeah. I'd like to support them. You like a jaded history. Yeah. I like the tarnished past. I like the idea of when I'm filling up my tank to imagine a stork just covered in black

thick gasoline. Right. I was wondering because I saw the bumper sticker of just the... Yeah. The stork. Well, there's a dead stork mounted on your hood, too. Yeah. She's my emblem.

She is the emblem of me. Yeah, that's great. She's the emblem for your Mazda. No, it's a stork. But why? But why? If I had a lady friend and she went mini-golfing with someone, I'd be like, that's okay. But why is it so much worse if she kisses somebody?

When you hug somebody, you have more physical contact than if you kiss. But why would it make me angry to see her kiss somebody? What is that about? Where does that jealousy come from? I believe that there is certainly more of an intimacy with the kissing than there would be with the hug you hug here. Yeah, definitely. Think of how many people you would play mini-golf with and then how many people you would let

inside of your body. Right. So... Those numbers are probably... They're probably five less. One of those numbers. Either way, I'm getting fucked. If you love somebody and you can comprehend like, okay, yeah, you can get dinner with

somebody, you could play mini-golf with somebody, but then they are saying like they want to be penetrated by somebody, you say, well, that's a very intimate thing that I thought you would only do with somebody you care about. So you care about somebody else. I think the real question is, can you care about somebody else without diminishing the way you care for the person you already love? Could I love three people? Yeah, I can't even date overlapping.

I have to stop one and start the other, which is a little unique, I feel like. The whole thing of polyamory is such a weird thing because it assumes like a very cut and dry definition of love and then decides to multiply that. So I think you have to first agree sort of on what love is and if love is simply wanting to have sex with people, then that's a very basic definition and then you're not really talking about true polyamory, but if you're talking about love in a much deeper sense, then loving a much deeper sense is when you don't necessarily feel that way and you stick with that person anyway and then get over that hump, at least that's how it feels or

that's what I read in the pamphlets that I picked up. The polyamory that your wife sent took you to the polyamory session. I said it before, I think, but polyamory is the worst of any of them. Really? Like monogamous relationship, then you've got one person's feelings that you have to consider and care about. Being single, I guess it's still one because it's like yourself and I mean you should always be nice to people, but polyamory, you're in four relationships.

So you're saying it's not carefree if anything gets more stressed? It's so much stress. Why on earth would I want to have three girlfriends who could all get mad at me? And they will. And of course they will because I'm not good when I have one. And then they're going to start talking together and then you're going to have... Yeah, then all of a sudden they're like, hey, we should invite a couple more guys into this tribe here.

I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's just polygamy, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's not even polygamy. Yeah, polygamy is marriage. It's a guy married to plural wives and that's very fucked up. What about plural husbands? That's not polygamy?

I guess. Well, I just don't know if that exists. Well, why is polygamy bad and polyamory good if it's still... Well, polygamy, I guess I'm thinking of like Mormon's polygamy where they sort of like have arranged marriages arranged by the church and women aren't allowed to have sex with multiple men. Yeah. So that's like all this...

That's a whole different kind of fucked up. Sort of the inequality type of thing. Right. Okay. Polyamory... I honestly don't know. In name alone, it's just like, it sounds nice because it's love for all. It sounds beautiful.

Yeah, it's such a nice sounding thing, but you know... Which one gets the threesomes? That's the question. That's probably... Ryan Gosling. That's amazing. That's what I want to be. That's a religion.

I think I just want to be buff. Yeah, that'd be good. Well, he's also talented and handsome. Yeah, but I really think he's... So like, just know that if you lifted weights for three years, you still wouldn't be as good as Gosling. Yeah. You might be strong.

It's crazy because it helps to get girls if you're strong. It also helps if you're hot and it also helps if you're famous. And also talented. It's not because he's a talented actor. He's a talented... So to have all four means he could do whatever he wants, right? He's the king. Yeah.

He just chooses what he wants. But I wonder if it's lonely at the top, if there's no sense of accomplishing it. Because he also has a good group of core friends, his boys from high school. But like, what do you... If everyone's constantly throwing, themselves say no, it's true. I don't think you're speaking on behalf of guys. No, don't worry about it. I'm his best friend, dude.

He'll never be lonely. There's no like fist pumping. It's like, yeah, yeah, I hooked up with her. I hooked up with everybody. It's not good anymore. No, I mean, he's probably just operating on a totally different caliber, you know, like... Once you get... Yeah.

I can't imagine the game he's playing. What is the game the gods is playing? It's the game the gods are playing, dude. Ryan Godling. That is who he is, and that is who true is. He lives on Mount Olympus Drive. Is that a drive pun? No.

Oh, interesting. Yeah. It was just a Topanga Canyon. Yeah. There's a street called Mount Olympus Drive. Cool. Topanga Canyon is how Topanga Lawrence got her name, but it's probably true by Bill Lawrence. Is that true?

This is all true, and then he got terminated from Boy Meets World. It's amazing. He started Spin City. Yeah. It's been city. He was a showrunner in 20s. I don't know. Who knows?

That's not true. That's all 100%. No, no. Yeah. He names Topanga to Lawrence after the Topanga Canyon. I swear to God. I think you told me. Wait, is that true?

Yeah. Are you saying that's true or true? I'm 100%. He was born in the Beets World and named her after Topanga Canyon in his last name. Oh, it is his last name. Yeah, it is. Yep. I just realized that.

That is a realization. That's not something I put together. I don't understand it. I've never been this confused. Yeah. Well, sometimes I say truths like lies and vice versa. Yeah, exactly. Especially because the fact that you didn't realize the Lawrence thing.

Exactly, which makes it seem like I totally made it up. Did you? No. That'd be a weird thing to do just come on and make up the most obscure lies. Let's play my twirled even before spin city Mm-hmm. It was yeah, at least it started before I'm sure there was some overlap in the later years of women's world I swear to God in my life. It's very true You're tickling my brain Do we even answer this question? Should I act cool and give polyamory a try or no?

We meant I think we said that like you're not being true to yourself You are you are a one woman woman. I say she should try it No, cuz the other the alternative is get it leaving so you're gonna it's like it'll hurt less to break up with her Girlfriend right now then it will to watch her girlfriend. Fuck a guy How is she trying polyamory if she stays with a girl who's polyamorous, but she's just not Then she's just stay she's half polyamorous. Yeah, she's just amorous like support She just has many loves for this one girl And all for that one human

So cut and run cut and run stick it out Awful now stick it out stick it out All right next question We need a guy's name That's you oh, it's the job of the guest I'll go with with Peter How do you spell it dude? It's definitely P.I.T. E.A.R. Right a few weeks ago I started high school

So I thought I would get this girl to date or at least become better friends We've been friends for a few years and I have liked her since we first met Most of the time in class she acts like she likes me However, most of her of our friends are in other classes and when we're all together she basically ignores me Almost one of my friends. Sorry. Anyway, one of my friends decided to text her and tell her that I like her Afterwards she briefly texted about it, but didn't say too much the next day at school We were in the same classes and we sat together anyway It was very awkward, but she acted as if nothing had happened

So when I got home, I decided to text her and ask her who she likes She texted back saying she likes no one. I'm really confused She has told me before that she doesn't want to date anyone right now and I agree But at least I want to know if she likes me for the future Currently I am cable Currently I am a complete dating noob and have never even considered having a girlfriend until now What do you think is there a chance that she's into me? Whoo man high school is hard first of all peter and I am so sorry peter yeah

Imagine high school with texting now. I guess we had we had AOL chat rooms real up on that Yeah, I got an instant messenger. Oh aim was this shit at fucking 3 30 sign online. You see those doors opening Yep, that was our club late night. I am conversations. Do you have oh? Yeah, like 2 a.m. Doing papers like talking there's like nobody else is online except for one person You'd have like these really intense heart-to-heart yeah That's screen name that you really really hoped would sign on and when they do it feels so fucking good And then you're just like waiting like waiting waiting for them to IM you oh god Getting the first one you know oh god. Do you remember the sound effect? Yeah, the door is closing. Yeah

Yeah, the closing was definitely very hard to hear. What was your favorite away message? I don't remember I've gotten asked this before and I really think I had some I Don't know because I know there's people who had like the different colors. They were yeah Yeah, like they got they got into it. I think I just also be here something like beer bees good classic Yeah, you know I try to keep it and then there's your profile their profile is that's what I'm thinking Oh, yeah, yeah, you're thinking a profile. Yeah, bro. What did you have an away message that used to use? I liked using percent n because it put that person's screen in and it kind of fucks with them Oh, yeah, I mean the current time so that was like a good look

So now a day kids are just all about that text instead of getting into a chat room kids these days They don't know what they're missing We used to text on a computer and now you can text on a computer But it's I guess it's slightly different because there's no chair. Actually, I guess it's not that different Hey, you basically I am with with your yeah, like a good text Yeah, it's as long as you just don't have that personal contact. Just yeah, never look at yeah Have you ever had like a super intimate aim conversation? And it's like the next day at school and you're like, oh, hey, that was me that opened up to you about having a crush on you and now

You met your wife at age 14. Yeah, like this led to actual marriage. Yeah, that's how it usually works The girl that you like in ninth grade is your soulmate forever I think yeah, if you go back and you watch the great romantic films of the ages Yeah, whoever you had your like a I am profile quote about that's who you marry Yeah, I feel like a percent and you can you imagine and whatever it was that per who the who the person you like seeing sign online the most Yeah, could you imagine being married to that person right now? Yeah, I guess I'm still friends with her. Wow You killed her no

Um Yeah, did you wait were you in a relationship instantly at age 14 or you met her? Yeah, we met at 14 and then did you have a crush on her? Yeah, later on later on crush and then you dated in in college high school and then in college same college Yeah, okay. You didn't do the long distance for four years. No, that'd be yeah Coincidentally the same college or you guys chose it because we were lovers shows basically the same Well, I think we'd both been planning to go to the same college, which is what the University of Florida Where Gators the Florida Gators. Yeah, dude. Do you know Joe Kim? Noah?

Yeah, I mean, I don't know him Yeah, but like at school when I was there were you friends with Tim Tebow. Oh besties, dude I actually know not besties, but Tim Tebow. I could go on for a long time about him. You know dearly. No We graduated in the same ceremony and he they for some reason let him sit on stage and they didn't let me sit on stage Just whatever. I'm not bitter about it. No, you know, Tim Tebow looks like Kind of like you if you took steroids throughout the University of Florida. I'm not joking you that might be the nicest thing Including the my wife's vows to me. Yeah, no that pales in comparison. You just said I'm etching that into my gravestone I look like a weak Tim Tebow. Yeah, I'll take it. I look like the worst version of Tim Tebow

Which is still hotter than 99% of Americans. It's a Ryan Gosling almost so this high schooler He's a little confused. Well, let's clear it up. She doesn't like you. Yeah, obviously you asked her You asked her point blank, which is a fun exciting text to send Did he ask her point blank though because he said who do you like who do you like? And then that's as close as you can get right because it opens up the door to the buddy door I agree. I just really playing devil's advocate. Sure. Maybe okay She as a girl doesn't want to be the first to say that she likes him He is yet to say I like you it's only been secondhand or through a friend. Yeah, I'm sort of an open door

It still sounds like yeah, but she's only nice to him in the one class where they don't have any other friends That's true. That's a definite and then like every other all the rest of his time. She ignores him. Mm-hmm And I think like yep. Good point. No, I'm on board devil advocate has been shut down Oh, no Turned up the podcast we started playing devil's advocate. There is hope. There is hope. Yeah, I Mean shit. Yeah, I think if somebody doesn't say These are high schools in ninth grade though, I'm gonna throw that out there. This is a man I think this is the beginning of what dating is now. It's like everyone is so polite

That nobody's saying like I don't like you nobody's saying like no, I'm not gonna like she's saying I don't like anybody And she's hoping that he takes the hit and like think about when somebody asks you out And you don't want to go you don't say no, I don't want to date you you say I can't this week I'm busy next week. I'll let you know when it'll happen, but I miss saying like who do you like? That's like a fun way of saying who do you have a crush on yeah? I mean, yeah, that's true But I'm just saying like in the in the scope of like actual dating right now a non-response is a no, right? That just because of how nice and like non-confrontational we've come to how a polite everybody is yeah

Which is not exactly what the younger generation is known for right, but it's weird how interpersonally they become very polite It's true. It's very very passive not wanting to step on anybody's toes, but then they get on I don't want to make anybody feel awkward I want to make somebody feel weird or sad no wonder mean internet comments exist They're probably so pent up and like filled up with like actual emotions and like animosity that that's it's true And they can they can't be mean to each other because everybody fucking knows each well They are mean to each other But it that's the question like when they said who do you like it was like it's me presuming that I know everybody that you know Yeah, all everybody's just hanging out at school right you know 15 people

Who do you like of those 15 and now somebody now you like somebody comes out from out of town and they visit they say Are you dating anybody right where you see in the vast world of human beings? Yeah, what's her deal? How do I know her? It's not like what high school does she go to? Which it's weird people still ask me that about who I'm dating and like I've only dated two high schoolers since I turned 30 So it's not even like a huge thing good for you, man. That's great. Keep it under one was What was the high school teacher? Yeah, the other one was in sixth grade. Yeah It evens out the average is like just a normal 21 year old person. Exactly. See you are smart Yeah, that was not an accurate average

We're starting up to know that 30 plus six how old are these things in nine? It would have been well 30 plus 12 that's 21. Yeah, come on man. Yeah, you got it. Thanks I'm a smore and I look like a weak Tim Teemo and this is going great So unfortunately for this guy is there any chance that she's into me? No Let me I would say probably not and I would say if you have doubts or you want to know ask her or at least say you Like her what he's like. Do you like anybody? She says no Do you like me like no And now he wants to like just point the barrel of the gun right at his head. You're right

I have no gentle it's so like The friend said this guy likes you if she liked you then then it something would have happened And then you said then you had the courage to say who do you like and she Dodged you like you were just asking for it. Good point. Good point. Good point. You guys are right. You're right You're right. You're right guys. I feel like I'm the kid now What do you know you've been in a loving relationship since you were in high school. Yeah, happily married for eight years We're the ones that hate each other ourselves and women You don't know how many if you would have written into our podcast at age 19. We would have made fun of you

What are you doing? You're getting married. Yeah, I love this woman. I think I want to marry her We'd be like no you're about to go to Florida teenager man. You don't get love You don't know what true love is and now you're still married and but you guys are doing great No, I've got a gonorrhea. I have gonorrhea and I have a I'm dick. I have no dick at the clap I just have pubes. I just have pubic lice and no. Yeah, you like never had to worry about STDs, huh? Yeah, that's pretty nice. You skipped a whole shit. You skip text flirting. You skip Tinder. You skipped any dating app Zero. Yeah, do you ever feel I did on YouTube? I did a series on Tinder. Yeah where I had Tinder and I literally my bio was like I'm doing this as a joke

Yeah, and I did like four or five episodes on my YouTube channel And I would just get on there and I would not look at it and I would swipe right Oh my goodness on everything just to see what happened and then literally the bio was like don't take it seriously And then it's still got people. I mean every now and then it'd be somebody's like That's a dangerous experiment. It's like I just I basically just combed the world seeing who would fuck me Or who just wasn't reading it to who was just like Doing the same thing right and you there's so it that's a weird That's a weird app. Well, it's sure. I'm like it's basically do you like me?

It's do you like me the app? Who do you like based off of this? Yeah, based on a three inch by three inch image all I could ever need I do think there's something to that I do think maybe that you know the gut reaction the split-second decision the instant attraction of you blindly swiping right for four and a Half hours. Mm-hmm. Just what's it called when you fish but with a net dragging across the ocean for track fishing. Yeah All right, let's take a quick break and then we'll be right back with a little bit more of Elliot Morgan and Jake This show is sponsored by better help Thank you better help if you're finding yourself in a difficult

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Just use that offer code if I were you to save 10% off that first purchase. Thank you Squarespace Hey, hey, hey, we're back Elliot. Hey, what are you busy with nowadays? What's your shit, you know funny you should ask Amir I was just thinking about how if the plane that I was on from New York to LA crashed I wouldn't I wouldn't really have any loose ends and that's like that's a little sad way to live So if you wouldn't have a crash, then yeah, I mean like I feel like I could die And it would be like an all-right ending like there's not like there's not any open There's not any pots on my fire that I have to tend to sure people might be a little sad

But I feel like I've led a full life in these 32 point whatever years that if you guys died I think that's beautiful dude. Good for you. Thanks, man. What do you have? What are you looking forward to? I'm just in terms of death In terms of staying alive. You want to stay alive. You have to live for these days. Yeah, exactly not a lot I mean you just convinced me we should all die. Yeah, well you have a soulmate So you'd be leaving someone thinking about getting into drugs. Oh, yeah. Yeah, see how that goes interesting Have you ever done it? What's the hardest drug you've ever done? The I've done a touch smidge of the marijuana, but I'm not actually a big fan of it. Oh, that's it. Yeah

So you're relatively clean. I've heard good things about mushrooms. Uh-huh zero Alcohol you drink I drink far too much. Oh, I see. So that's your poison. That's the bad stuff. That's your poison What kind of what's your favorite thing to drink scotch scotch or whiskey in general all the time whiskey you got to yeah Yeah, I like I like bourbon. I love bourbon as well. I go back and forth. Oh, yeah Yeah, I kind of ebb and flow between bourbon and not Irish whiskey anymore because it's just too back and forth between I don't drink Irish whiskey either. It's like water. Yeah at this point. Do you think there's a funny joke? I actually go back and forth between bourbon and rehab. Yes, yeah, that's good It's just a funny little joke that I thought that's just a fun. It's very frant. Yeah, I'm doing

It's very friendly for me. I do a stand-up comedy a lot Well, where and I do kind of all over but I just am about to go Doing actually more touring at the beginning of the year, which I'm really excited about You're hitting the road. What's like a real big city where what do you think you would draw the biggest crowd? I actually don't know. They're figuring that out as we speak. That was a conversation. They're trying to like scientifically deduce It's so fascinating man. Like I've never you know how we figured it out. No We look at our Facebook fans and by target. We are Probably two to three times more popular in Canada

Wow any city in America I have our biggest cities are Toronto Vancouver and then like New York London and Sydney One was one of mine was Toronto for sure. Yeah, and I was like cool. Yeah I didn't I had no idea I never look at that stuff And then they were like trying to figure out how to where to send me and then the way it works Basically is they're like, this is a long process like you have to go and you're gonna start building up like local Sort of recognition in these different comedy club venues or whatever Cool like I just like prove yourself that you can sell tickets exactly and then you do a little bit and a little bit more

It's so cool. And so and then I'm that is on the heels of my comedy special premature Which comes out December 10th on Vimeo on demand. Whoa, that was here how smoothly that came out No, very smooth. You're gonna be on the road in early December. It'll be no it'll be early January. I think oh after that Yeah, I think comedy clubs Special comes out December 10th and the special comes out December 10th and then kind of Staying here and trying to do, you know, like podcasts and stuff. Oh, yeah, look at us This is like the online world is now like you don't do talk shows for movies You do podcasts for internet

Specials boom and we're all we've all done stuff for YouTube instead of television boom This is all it. This is the future because kids aren't watching TV anymore There are downloading their apps us failing at a meeting They're all snapping and chatting. They're not buying their apps from the Walmart They're downloading from the app store. Are you all up on snapchat? No, I was for a while and then I got off couldn't handle it, right. I am I was like you at first It was very I couldn't I didn't quite understand I felt like an old man at a kid's party and now I'm more into it than like

Facebook and Twitter. I saw the goof filters that they did sort of yeah, they started charging for the goof filters Is that true? Yeah charging for the goof filters like so they showed us all the filters, right? And now you can like if you swipe far enough, it's like, oh, remember this old one you can use it for 99 cents Wow They give you the free that's the drugs. They give you some free shit to get you hooked now. I need the good filters Pretty good without it. I need the goon. You know what I can just my I think my snapchat it's doing on the road What's your snapchat name? I don't use it really. Yeah, I don't know. It's not entertaining at all You know what I will plug a friend of mine though. Let's do it. Steve Zaragoza has like the best snapchat. Really? Yeah, Steve Zaragoza. Yeah, he's a fellow source-fed guy shit. He is brilliant on snapchat

I'm I'm a mere Blumann snapchat. You should follow me dude. Oh, well, I'm serious do it right now I see you looking at my pocket demand 85 Feel like we didn't choose our names based on how popular we thought snapchat was gonna be you know what man 85 dude Mine was Elliot sucks Like just elio TT s u cks in case you're wondering But yeah, it was that's how because I started like way back when I first I was like, no, we're gonna use this right But now my snapchat is more popular than my Instagram Amir blue felt was it taken I know I didn't even look I just look for a mirror and then blom and I'm like, oh, that's good enough

But I yeah, everything else is very very methodically chosen Yeah, everything else. It's kind of a weird. It's yeah It's like kind of a break from I think if you're an online personality having a break from your brand is like a very important thing Well, it's not even a break now. It's the whole fucking thing Then yeah, then you then you kind of restructure your entire brand around somebody told me that like snapchats a life raft from the dying Social media of old Twitter and Facebook blow it up now before it's too late Wow, yeah, well, nobody actually told me that it was a wizard in a dream I had and then I was his snap name

Jake demand 85. What was you with a long beard if you can imagine? So you're hitting the road in January you have a your stand-up special stand-up social coming out very December 10 Yeah, and it's uh, it's sort of the comedy I've been working on for a few years While I've been doing other things like hosting for Mental Floss and then I have a new show on SourceFed Called the study where I play like this horrible human being Named Elliot C. Morgan. Oh a different guy. Yeah diff totally different guy. The C stands for it changes every episode But so far it's been like cocaine crook Oh, and those are different versions of yourself. Yeah, it's all just terrible terrible stuff

He's like he's like a one percenter but like a one percenter of one percenters The top of the top. Yeah, I wanted to creme de la creme the creme de la creme, which is another C word Yeah, oh, that's that'll be the next episode You're just really creme de la creme Morgan. You're French. You're a French pastry chef. Exactly Yeah, that's it and then mostly stand and then and then this but and then I don't know what else is there There's holidays. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you want to plug just a Hanukkah. Yeah shout out to Hanukkah Yeah, I mentioned that early December learning a lot about that. Yeah. Oh, you gotta Yeah, Hanukkah's the life raft of Christmas. That's slowly sinking. So you better start blowing it up

It's the shape of a lot. I try to kill Christmas, you know that This design the new Starbucks like those ankle-less socks. Yeah, how do you feel about them? I dig them. I like them Feel like they're socks. Do you feel like you're wearing like your feet are like Comfortable in them. It looked they look so thin. They're not I mean my feet aren't very I don't notice them I just like the idea that when I wear my shoes, you can't see any you can't see any sock Especially with these tight. Well, I don't know about the crocs, but like the yeah I don't know if I was supposed to the joggers. Yeah, the joggers and the Nikes You can tell people that I'm wearing crocs on the podcast. I didn't want to yeah, you know out me

But yeah, I wear crocs in the house because of a chronic heel injury. Oh, really? Yeah I do. Oh, yeah, I've got heel pain all the time. No way. Do you know I'm so sorry? I broke my heel a couple years ago and I never it never healed correctly You've probably told this story a thousand. I don't know if I have ever on the park Yes, well, maybe I have how'd you break the heel? I was rock climbing in Angeles National Forest. You just killed any chance of me ever rock climbing. Oh, no, it's totally worthwhile. It's not dangerous I did something really dumb First try the mushrooms trust me my man

That's how I hurt myself All right, we're running out of time But I do want to get to one last question because we only have so much of Elliott Morgan in our lives Oh, I'm not sure the wisdom Let's get one last dude's name. Oh Is it still me? Yeah? I already came up with Peter Jessica I'm trying to think like what's like the coolest dudes name. Oh, you know what?

I'll do a tanner. Come on tanner. Yeah, that's a all right tanner. What about tannist? Wouldn't that be cooler like he's yeah, that's good Yeah, the tannist because like tan is a pretty cool name tanner even cooler But if you're in his tannist, yeah, I don't know. I like tanner Tanning and he's just in the middle of tannin. Oh, that's good. We don't have to decide what extreme yet Tanner writes. I just dropped your fur coat on the ground. That's okay I don't want to reveal that you guys have a fur coat. Yeah, Jake has to wear a fur coat for his heel That never actually

Jake looks like it's a frantic Honestly, since you guys started talking I've been trying to come up with tanning chadum. I think that's what it is Yeah, you got it. Tanning chadum is really good. Yeah, tanning chadum tanning chadum. I'm sweating for that illegitimate twin sister Tanning chadum writes. Oh, no, this is the guy tanning chadum. The guy writes Veering on the more mature side of your audience. I'm 32. I write to you about a conundrum my face whenever is it? Yeah, so I was right tanning chadum is Channing Tanum's illegitimate sister, right? She's 32 and she has a conundrum she faces when she's dating through the ages of 18 through 25 I was vocal about my sexual desires, especially anal sex

This attracted perhaps one one or two genuinely good relationships with amazing sex But a whole string of assholes who immediately pegged me as a booty call material, which doesn't interest me at all My conclusion was men Instantly associate a sexually liberated vocal female as a quick lay who doesn't respect herself and doesn't need respect Growing up and beginning to abide by the mantra you attract what you project I have to I've had to censor myself over the years Become more prim and even a little coy This saw a change in the types of men who I attracted decent wholesome men who want a monogamous

Relationship and do respect me. The problem is this These good boys are also good boys in bed. They're vanilla There's nothing more frustrating than being in a long-term relationship with someone who dislikes anal But this doesn't become clear for the first two months You're still getting to know each other by then you either deal with it or break up quite a waste of time a life without Posterior delights is a dull life indeed Having followed you from college humor to your podcast you to embody the ass Dicotomy one of you loves the ass and the other does not what are some ways to spot an ass man without bringing it up before you

Start getting intimate. How can you tell if someone is sexually adventurous? Are there any tell? tail signs regards tanning chateau It's a very mature question. Yeah First of all two things one. I never said I disliked butts I just said I've never had anal sex and it's a little dirty sex. I don't know if I said it was dirty Yeah, that's why but I wouldn't but she's saying that I'm not an ass man. I still like asses I just think that anal sex is I've never done it if someone wanted to try it

Perhaps I'd be into it number two vanilla is the best flavor. So don't fucking call me. That's not an insult Sorry, I haven't like vanilla. It's funny that you defending yourself is like it proves her point Like I never said I didn't wasn't an ass man I might try anal if somebody asked me to I just find it dirty and I love the flavor vanilla like we know We know you think it's the best place. I just sang vanilla gets a bad rap What are your thoughts on vanilla v chocolate really quick? That is not the question she has 100% more vanilla than chocolate. Okay, but I'm not a chocolate person in general. It is chocolate stark chocolate

We can go for now, but yeah, you don't have to answer this question But a anal yay or nay. Keep in mind if you're not comfortable, we're not forcing you to answer I won't eat your name because I don't think that it is a yay or nay. Oh, it's a gray It's a gray a yay gray or nay I think the to aunt to Speak to her and I know she's not talking to me and this she has no idea you're gonna be here But she's about to benefit from your wisdom tanning. I'm Elliot. It's nice to meet you and you know I I am would be described as one of the vanilla gentlemen

I grew up in a very conservative environment in Florida and therefore The prospect of sexual liberation in males and females is certainly something that is a process But in my humble opinion, I think that it's very important to broach the subject as you get to know somebody not in a way that you try to or not to try to Label them from the outside because you really don't know and I would also argue that some of these men who might be considered vanilla Maybe are simply having hang-ups of their own and therefore that requires simply more open conversations Would be my idea, but that's all theoretical. Who knows and I'll say I have your personal email and I'll fuck you in the ass if I

Silenced for a moment. It looked like he was making eye contact with me though, and I was like, you're right you do We're the record, I will fuck you in the ass Bad advice and get in the bed. I Just wanted to your it was yours was so thoughtful. I wanted to please. Yeah, no you gotta bring it back No, yeah, that that I think it's a good point that the people she's complaining about being vanilla they may also have desires to Fuck her in the ass or like to play with her, but like it could be a me situation Well, like it could be even it could be a me situation

They could be dying to touch her butthole and they're like she's so prim and proper She doesn't want me to touch her but wouldn't that come up in the first couple sexual encounters? Don't people understand? No, I've definitely had sex where I wanted to touch a butthole and I didn't because I wanted to like But two months feels like a long time to get there before even broaching the butt subject It is a put certain a tough situation to have to sort of like be the person who is like the guide Yeah, seems very like put it puts even more pressure on her, but I feel like You know, she's wanting both things and she's wanting like a lasting committed relationship with like a good dude Who's not who's gonna view her with respect that it might you know depending on that dude's psychological makeup

That might require I don't know. Maybe not though and she's stereotyping Is it really that cut and dry that like mean guys like anal and prim proper nerds that might be good marriage material don't No, can you find well, she's definitely considering like anal sex like kind of a deviant sexual behavior, which I don't think it is But there is a but but but that's all I could think about But Uh ask yourself this I do think that the way to do it if she wants to talk about this type of thing with people is to like ask what their Fetishes are and stuff because once people share their fetishes. They're a lot more open to hearing about it

It's a nice way like because it's kind of weird to be like can I tell you what I like? I like when you yeah, this is the beginning of date to it's like hey, what do you like in bed? It's like probably after you've gotten to know somebody and you've like been intimate with them It's a communication thing more so than like I think right ultimately boils down to his communication Which I think means that she will not be able to ever look upon another person and know Based on their like what if yeah, like you can't necessarily know if the person's an asthmatic though I could see you guys could have switched that around and I would have had no idea Oh really because it's you don't know yet. What if like it's when you're hooking up with somebody

What's the first part of their body that you grab? I guess They're boobs. I yeah, and I'm the ass I do ankles. Is that weird? Well, you're like a boy. You're a schoolyard bully. That's shaking your mate upside down Is that not the coins fall out is that not what sex is no that's actually yeah You're stealing somebody's milk money in a cartoon. That's what I've been doing. Yeah, you've been in a cartoon You've been a cartoon boy. I gotta send some texts. Have you have you ever what about sticking? This is gonna sound stupid. It's gonna sound like a joke, but what if she sticks a cucumber in her ass?

What if she sticks a cucumber in her ass? Are you just asking in sort of the theory This is gonna sound like a joke and it's gonna sound like I'm not being serious But what if on a first or a second date she leans over spreads her asshole open She shoves a cucumber or a dill or a pickle in her ass Jesus Christ, that's good. This is gonna sound like I'm making something up It's gonna sound completely untrue and like I'm not even Situ you're asking a hypothetical question

What if during the day and I'll try to take this seriously what if during the day? Yeah, they say they're out at a restaurant or yeah or a cafe or a cafe So then she or she might have brought it on her own she can bring the queue. Yeah, so she'll stand up She'll stand up and bend over at the table. That's right stick a cucumber in her asshole I couldn't I couldn't advise that because that would be the most psychopathic thing Yeah, that would be she would be carted away to a mental hospital for doing that, right? It's lewd indecent illegal Yeah, behavior. Okay. Yeah, it's public indecency. Okay. So what were you saying? I was Telling you how bad of a suggestion. It was no before I weighed in

Um, what was your suggestion? What is she supposed to shove up there? Nothing got it communicate and and all and just like you know Look up with people if they're grabbing your butt, then they might be a butt man I think you can bring it up a little grabber You might be a little earlier. You might be able to bring it up a little earlier than two months in I think you definitely bring it up earlier than two months during a sexual thing. However long that takes and if it's two and a Half months, that's okay, too. If it's three months. That's okay. Yeah, let's cut three and a half months. You gotta go. Yeah, bye Bye-bye. Bye-bye butt hole. I wonder like what if yeah, just during sex for the first time you just tell them tell some Oh, but her problem is that she thinks when she asks for butt stuff early on

that then guys Consider her a flusy right marriage material it labels them in a certain way, but that's also I mean, I feel like they're I don't know there's ways to convey Sort of that. She's not that right I think by she's 32 now by the time we like are I Can't really connect with like the 20 year old version of myself But I think at least now that I'm 30 if somebody asks for something in there But I don't think there are a whore right especially if there's already like I don't know cucumber

I keep the right. I was gonna say you come in there leave that I'm going near your knees are touching your ears. You are I Stick a pickle in your ass That was actually a kuk the thing is my colon is filled with Brian, right? Okay? Anyway, so We'd make you puke. I think I Don't really have any advice for her. I just wish her the best of luck. Yeah, I like communicative. That's what you gotta be

Yeah, but she is but but I think it can come a little earlier than the two-month mark sure whether without vegetables in your ass I know Jake it suggests one way and I'm another You guys compliment. I already forget which who suggested what at this point you suggested her publicly Fucking herself with a vegetable and I suggested talking a lot Right, okay. Yeah, I guess I'd see it up to each That's exactly the way it went down Elliott thanks for coming by guys. Thank you so much. This is awesome, dude I'd love to open for you know when you're on the road. Oh, yeah, that's how it'll work for sure

Hey, you're gonna get rejected. So let's do it. We should mention that we're going on the road, too On December 2nd 4th 5th and 6th. We're gonna be in San Francisco Portland Seattle Vancouver tickets are still available Come through or you show dot-com Anything you want to plug one last time Elliot Morgan special calm. Oh, that's what it's that's the URL Yeah, Elliott Morgan special calm trailer dropping soon website should be live by the time this goes up be good. Hell. Yeah, dude Let us know because I want to watch it now. It'll be good The opening theme song was written by a fan the closing one also written by a fan if you have any theme songs of your own Or questions for us the email address for everything is if I were you show at

Gmail.com. Thank you. Morni all for writing the opening one and this closing one is written by Dylan Barstow, thanks again to Elliot for coming by. Thank you much appreciated. We'll be back next week. Bye I'll take just a minute. Let me your ear. I got a song about my friend Jake and Amir The two dudes will stay true stay sincere. Keep it real by handling each of your fears Oh, Jake's just a dream. You'll be in a pinch if you're working on your text game or dealing with a bitch He's got the kind of rhythm that makes the man cringe, but I'm jack the perfect person with the delicate syringe and Amir To you I can really relate because I don't speak game all I like your butter Jake and I keep a straight laced even when I'm on a date I used to statistics to analyze the state

So all your fools are there who are feeling dope if you've had the sex then they can't be like Pope We'll look no further. The only one who's left to go just to go down If I were you show That was a hit gun podcast