If I Were You - 32: Amir vs. Jill in Jake Trivia (w/Jillian Vogel!)

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

Who knows Jake better? Let's find out together! Then let's try to spell some words.Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Cali...fornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:16 Each app different from the last Seconds It's the Swiss Army Nightbook Shows Now let's Meet your two pathetic hoes. Second. You OK? I'm stuck.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Just joking. Hi, I'm Amir. This is Jake and we're here with Jillian. Ooh, that's my wife. Hello. Folks, this is part two of who knows Amir better. Colon, who knows Jake better? Yes.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Who knows Amir's colon better? Colon. Understood. We did Amir trivia a few weeks ago. Jake beat Avital. Yeah. The commenters needed us to do this version. Me versus Jill. Who knows Jake better? Colon. You and Avital have only been married for a couple months. Yeah. At the time of the actual.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Jill and I have been married for five years. But does- Six years? Are we coming on six? Coming on six. But does marriage matter to knowing a person? Does not. Does not. Because you've- We've known each other for over a decade. Yes. You and Avital, it was a whirlwind romance. You met her on Bumble two months ago.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Yeah. She was a mail order wife. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. You're saying that Jill has a better shot at this game than Avital did because you guys know each other for longer. Yeah. Well, I'm saying that you has a better shot at this game than Avi Tal did because you guys know each other for longer Yeah, well, I'm saying that you guys act like we know each other
Starting point is 00:02:49 We've known each other kind of a closer amount of time. Yeah, almost half your life. Maybe even half your life Yeah, we met we met when I was 20. Okay, and I'm 30 longest relationship outside of our relationship Yes, and you've known Jake for about a third of his life. Yeah. Right. So percentage wise, I have a slight advantage, but the questions are what they are. Intimacy wise. Wait, a fourth, maybe a fourth.
Starting point is 00:03:11 A quarter. A quarter. A fourth or. This is one of the questions, is the fraction. What is a fraction? They're all math related questions. All right, so I have eight questions apiece. Oh, we should say this is the segments podcast. Oh yes, welcome.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Welcome. Welcome to the show. Welcome to segments, a podcast that constantly changes and then today's episode is this sort of mano y wumano game of wits, skills and challenges. Love it. And the tiebreaker will be an arm wrestling match between us.
Starting point is 00:03:44 So you're gonna wanna win a regulation. That's right. Okay. Okay, who wants to go first? Oh, do you wanna explain the rules? You're gonna ask us a question alternating. If we get it right, we get a point. And if we get it wrong,
Starting point is 00:03:56 then the other person could steal that point. Right. Whoever has the most point at the end of the game wins. And do you have to say like final answer? Like, cause then I could technically steal something if he was still thinking. I don't wanna do that. And do you have to say like final answer like, because then I could technically steal something if he was still thinking, I don't want to do that. Oh yeah, no, no, final answer he has to submit. I have to say that it's wrong and award you the opportunity.
Starting point is 00:04:12 So I can talk through an answer to a place where then I'm like, this is the final answer. You don't have to buzz in, you're not trying to beat anybody. These questions are for you. I'm a terrible test taker. So this is where my nerves are really, my nervous system is spiked. I hope that these are all NBA trivia questions.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Right, and I hope these are all Gemma related questions. My daughter. My daughter has pushed me out of Jill's mind. Out of sight, out of mind. Okay, actually I think the first one's a gimme. Jill, this one's for you. Okay. What's my favorite movie?
Starting point is 00:04:48 Edge of Tomorrow is my first guess. And then Lord of the Rings is my second guess. Don't give him too many options because you need to submit one. Indeed I do. So I will say Lord of the Rings Even though I've never watched it with you There is also If you don't get this right I'll steal it instantly This is why I told you I'm a terrible test taker
Starting point is 00:05:18 You're not a terrible test taker, you're a terrible partner You're a terrible wife I saw you in the movie. It's like on my mind, I'm like, it's like, not Avengers, it's like. Is it the baby monitor? Is that a fucking movie at this point? Is it Miss Rachel?
Starting point is 00:05:36 I'm just gonna say Lord of the Rings, Final Fantasy. Which one, there are three. Ay, you watched them all on your way to New Zealand like one time, these are the ones you write. Two Towers or Return of the King? It's definitely gotta be all three. American Steel. Field of Dreams, that is correct.
Starting point is 00:06:02 That is correct. That's right, that's right. We watch, well, we, oh. It's not heaven, it's Iowa, that's right. One point for Amir and we're moving on to the next question. Don't look at me. And this is extra fucked up because you, for my birthday one year, orchestrated us like a surprise party where everybody watched it
Starting point is 00:06:20 on a projector in Jeff's backyard. Yeah, we got you a croissant instead of birthday cake. Yeah, it was absolutely gorgeous. And that one was the gimme? That's the easy one. That was what I thought was the gimme. Amir, how many apartments did I live in in New York City? Okay, there was the Upper East Side
Starting point is 00:06:39 that your older sister helped you afford first. Then there was 14th and in between first and second, that's your second apartment in New York. Then you moved to Brooklyn, Williamsburg. You moved to Wythe and sixth or seventh. That's your third. Are we counting the apartment that you lived in when you first moved back to New York on like Grand and Metro?
Starting point is 00:07:09 The sublet with Tan Un? Yeah. With Ha Un. It was actually Tan. I think it was Tan Un. Okay. No wonder I thought of that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:19 But no, I wasn't counting the sublet. Okay. But good memory. And then since then, you lived in Jill's parents' apartment for a little bit. I wouldn't count that either. Okay. Places where I signed leases. Okay, so those three for sure,
Starting point is 00:07:38 and I'm scrubbing my mind to see if there's a fourth. There was that place, oh, you didn't sign a place on Metropolitan, the one where, not with Jill's parents, but the one that Jill's parents had and you guys lived in it. Yeah, yeah, no, that one counts. We lived there for a year.
Starting point is 00:07:55 So that's the fourth, so I'll say four. Four, okay, final answer. Final answer. The one on second was between, the one on 14th was between second and third. So, wrong. Yeah. Just kidding.
Starting point is 00:08:10 You don't need to know where they are. But the number is wrong. Yeah. You're missing one in Park Slope. That's correct. Wow. What was the one in Park Slope? I lived with Streeter on 7th Avenue and 15th Street. When you first said 14th,
Starting point is 00:08:25 I thought that was the one you were calling out. Wow. I think that was three. Two steals to start it out. Hold on, but that's. Then let's see. Cause you were off. Did he get the, he got the white one.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Oh, so it's. Right? You haven't said your final guess yet. So you started it correct. There was the Hannah one. Then there was the one that was 14th and wherever you just said. And then second and third. Then there was the Hannah one, then there was the one that was 14th in wherever you just said, and then second and third. Then there was the Upper East Side, he missed that one too.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Upper East Side was the one, the first one that he said. Oh. I really thought this one was easy. Oh, the Kentucky, oh I see the Kentucky. You lived in too many places. I know, I'm thinking of it as visuals because there's the Kentucky Fried Chicken spot. Yes, above the 14th street.
Starting point is 00:09:04 So that's the 14th one that we're talking about. Okay. Then there's Park Slope. Then there's this Egg Shop one that you're talking about, North Third. Then there's Wythe Ninth, because you're saying it doesn't count the other one. Okay, then, was there one between Wythe Ninth?
Starting point is 00:09:24 When you came back and lived in Power Street, Bushwick, Schuburb's house? And then the Greenpoint, okay. Seven. There we are. That is correct. Wow, I said four. Yeah, you forgot when I lived with Cohen and Rosie
Starting point is 00:09:42 on North Third and Berry. Yeah, I should have gotten that one. Yeah, you were there, lived with Cohen and Rosie on North Third. Oh yeah, I should have gotten that one. Yeah, you were there. You were there for that one. I forgot the Shrovers. And you guys lived in the... and you guys lived to get... Well, you lived down the block from him. Okay, so that's great. You guys each have one point and both points were stolen from one another.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Oh my God, what an exciting start. Jill, what is my omelet order? Ah, it's gross. Whatever it is. It's not for me. It's just burnt eggs. That's how I make them. Blood sausage. He does like sausage. Uh oh my god. Cheddar cheese. Eggs. Well are, that's a foregone conclusion. They're not there. Bacon or sausage. Does it matter which one I pick probably?
Starting point is 00:10:32 Oh my god. This isn't very fair because he eats what I make him. Right, you should know this. My omelet order at a diner. At a diner? Yes, I go to diners sometimes. I actually went to a diner twice this week, but you don't know that, do you?
Starting point is 00:10:49 Because I say I go to the gym. He's a whistler. So how would you know? I mean, I'll just guess that it's... I'm absolutely floored. What if we both don't get another question correct? You're just depressed at the end of this game. I'm going to call Micah.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Micah would win this game. He's got the new and the old. And we're the same person. So he'll just say his opinion. Scrambled eggs. His omelette order is scrambled eggs. Your omelette order is scrambled eggs. Your omelette order is a waffle. You get three ingredients inside the omelette.
Starting point is 00:11:30 The eggs are included. He really likes a hash brown on this side. She's stalling for something. You think you can run out the clock on this game? You say three things. All right. Bacon and cheddar or, yeah, you know. That's two.
Starting point is 00:11:44 I gotta call it. Like this is absolutely time. She's starting. And then the third thing is like, She's wearing a wire. It's like mushrooms. But it's like, that's not really what it is. It's like, that's not really what it is.
Starting point is 00:11:57 And then there's sometimes cream cheese. Cream cheese in the omelet. That's absolutely, now you're, I feel like you're trying to slander me because you don't know the answer. Okay. It's incorrect. You can stick her out of the fucking room for that. You can steal.
Starting point is 00:12:11 I don't know the answer. You can absolutely steal. I'll guess ham, cheese, and avocado. Together you guys would have been right. It's bacon, cheddar, avocado. It's what I get every single time. I said ham, cheese, and avocado. Yeah, but it's bacon. That's what I get every single time. I said ham cheese and avocado. Yeah, but it's bacon. I've never seen you eat an omelet. We got one two and a half weeks ago when we got brunch with Isabel and-
Starting point is 00:12:35 No, you got a breakfast burrito at that brunch. No, I didn't. I did. My god, he's about to hit you. He's right. I've never seen him do it. No, I did not. He's right. I got a breakfast bur go like that. I got a breakfast break.
Starting point is 00:12:46 All right, so we're moving on. Three questions in. I still won, Jill still won. We both got one wrong. Yeah, right. Okay, this is, Amir? What four colleges did I drop out of? Hunter, Moravian, the new school in something, and Southern Connecticut State that's
Starting point is 00:13:10 correct that's correct did you know that as well I did okay oh shit I'm so sorry you lied I knew that you dropped out of schools can you name three wait the scores me too Jill one. Yeah. Oh, I won. Right. Because you, you couldn't steal that, but you got your own question. Right. Jill, name three of my OCD habits. This should be, this should be easy. You said that after every question and we're not getting them. I do these all the time. All right. It's like four fingers on the door before he leaves on the hand, that's number one. Two would be fingers on the handle of the car door,
Starting point is 00:13:54 the driver's seat door before he walks away. And then use the third is using the car clicker four times to lock the car. Four times. Yeah. Always four. I do press it four times to lock the car. Four times. Yeah. Always four. I do press it four times, yeah. And it's a lot and I am always like,
Starting point is 00:14:09 are we gonna break the clicker? Yeah. Three probably is more than enough. Maybe. Those are all true. True, and there are others. There are others. For bonus points.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Not for bonus points. Your question, you got your question correct. The Game Master. And if anybody out there Your question. You got your question correct. Hunter Green Master. And if anybody out there wants to join in. Amir. Can you name any car that I drove in high school? A Saab. Great.
Starting point is 00:14:36 It's pretty good. Hunter Green, Saab 900 S, convertible, the drop top. Oh my God, the center console key. That thing was charity. And I did have to touch it four times before I ended. My OCD was way worse than I had to do one, two, three, four buckle. You did the Macarena while you drove. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:00 God, yeah, it got real bad. It took me like five minutes to leave because I had to buckle the buffalo had OCD then I had to look over each shoulder four times. It was- Did you ever see a therapist for all that stuff? No, just one day I, one day I was able to just stop doing all of it cold turkey.
Starting point is 00:15:16 We talked about it. And that got me to, it reset it to a point where now it's crept back in but it's a much more- Manageable dose. Manageable thing, yeah. Now it's crept back in, but it's a much more manageable thing. Now it's just like a quick touch. I honestly don't even have to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:15:30 Do you notice that I need to look at everything a certain way when I leave the bedroom? Yeah. Okay, well, interesting. I was curious if you knew that one. It's a lot on your plate. A lot on my plate. That you put on your plate.
Starting point is 00:15:43 I work really hard. I work really hard to get, and you know, I keep everybody safe by my OCD. Interesting. It's by my grace of hitting that clicker four times. That we're all okay. That everyone's. Can we get a quick score check?
Starting point is 00:15:58 Yes, Amir three, Jill two. It's also weird that your number is four and you asked for three OCD habits. Oh yeah, it's true. Yeah, I'm trying to kick it. Yeah. Okay, so, and Jill just did that one. So Amir, it's your turn.
Starting point is 00:16:14 What is my favorite? No, no, no, I just got the car one. Oh, you got the car one. Okay, sorry. Jill, where did any two of my siblings go to college? Where did any two of my siblings go to college? NYU and UC Santa Barbara. Nice. And I can keep going.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Yeah, that one was easy because it wasn't really about me. But wait, I guess I shouldn't keep going because there's no bonus points. Right, there's no bonus points. Because I'm not the game master. Yeah, I honestly thought that was gonna be a lot harder for you.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Wow, you're way off on how hard or easy. Yeah, no, it's really true. Okay. Amir, what's my favorite whiskey? Four roses. That's like so off he should be canceled from the game. Yeah, like I was actually willing to accept two different answers in that one. Whoa. Steal.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Yeah, you can steal. He would be willing to accept bullet. He would prefer to like hear you say these days, Rittenhouse. Blanton's, but I have, as mentioned, as mentioned. Kyle Rittenhouse, From the batch of whiskey. I said I would accept bullet. This should really be Mike of the Emir at this point.
Starting point is 00:17:29 And you're lucky there's no bonus points because we would be subtracted. We haven't had whiskey in a while. Yeah, this is pre-pandemic. Four roses is bizarre though. I feel like that's the only one I remember. Well, I know why. Maybe was it at our wedding for some reason?
Starting point is 00:17:40 Was it? No. Okay. Wait, so we're tied. Our wedding was bullet and knob, was not. Okay. Yeah. Wait, so we're tied. If our wedding was bullet and knob, I thought. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:48 3-3. Are you gonna, Nicole? What's the ruling on that? Did you get that? I'm giving Jill a point for bullet. Okay, great, so we're tied. Because it was my long time favorite. We are tied, baby.
Starting point is 00:17:56 You're tied. I think Jill has four. She has four? Yes, because she got the college one. That's right, and she just stole one. So then he just got four? College whiskey, OCD, and you had one other the college one. That's right. And she just stole one. College whiskey, OCD. And you had one other one.
Starting point is 00:18:07 And Amir has three. Oh, she stole one of Amir's. Car, Field of Three. Apartment. Yeah, she stole apartments. So Jill has four, I have three. Yes. And it's Jill's question. Yeah. OK, let's take a break and come back with the second half of this game.
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Starting point is 00:20:19 Weddings that you've attended. Yes, personal portfolios even. Absolutely. Oh, and Squarespace. Your OnlyFans is hosted on Squarespace. Exactly right. You can even purchase a domain name through Squarespace. Yes you can, Time Dog. What's that?
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Starting point is 00:21:05 Because now that I realize. Available. Amazing. Actually any number, anything and then add the number one to it. Google One. Hope there's a sequel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Yeah, Google One is taken of course. For sure. For sure, that makes sense. Yeah, right on. I was gonna say Visor Men. Visor Men. Yeah, it's like a cool band. That's awesome, are they willing to sponsor my band,
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Starting point is 00:22:00 that first purchase of a website or domain. There you go. Thank you again to Squarespace. Thanks. All right, we're back. We're halfway through the questions, eight down. Eight down, eight to go. Current score is Jill four, me three.
Starting point is 00:22:17 And we didn't get the omelet one. Yeah. Okay. That one belongs to the community at large. I am, I'm still, I'm still a little shook by that. I literally never get anything else in my omelet, but that's fine. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Mushrooms felt right. Mushrooms felt right? No, they didn't. They really didn't, but also avocado to me doesn't go in the omelet. It's a topping. And so I was stumped. Yeah, to be fair. I don't want warm
Starting point is 00:22:50 I want I don't think you want the warmth of the avocado You got it right you were wrong. Yeah Yeah, I don't see anything. I say you choose three ingredients. Hot slices of mushy avocado within the egg. I guess I do. The one thing I say is that I like the home fries crispy. Okay, now Jillian, what size shoe am I? Oh, that's hard for me, 11? Correct.
Starting point is 00:23:17 My size as well. So you would have gotten that one for me. I think Amir would have known that as well because we do share shoes. So Jillian five, me three. Yeah. I got to catch up. But you're catching up.
Starting point is 00:23:28 How many continents have I been to? Okay. North America, obviously. I mean, we gotta count North America. We're in it. Yeah. For Christ's sake. You've been to Asia, technically,
Starting point is 00:23:43 because we were in Israel once and Israel's in Asia. I don't know if you know that. I did not. But my answer is being amended. Now, Europe of course, that's where we've been. Everyone's been to Europe. It's just par for the course.
Starting point is 00:24:02 That's three. So you're gonna keep the three number though? Why not strike? But then I gotta decide on Africa, which doubtful, and South America, I don't think so. And then we're down to Australia, yes. Australia, yeah, that's Oceania or whatever the fuck. That's four.
Starting point is 00:24:20 So Africa, negative for that. South America, have you been to fucking like, So Africa. Mm negative. South America. Have you been to fucking like. Argentina or Brazil? I don't believe so. And then Antarctica, you have it. So for yes, three, no.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Finally, but I thought that you just he said he doesn't know that Israel is in Asia. Yeah, you should really. You would have said three, but I'm saying four because technically Israel is in Asia. That's correct. There we are. Okay, okay, okay. You thought Israel was in Europe or something?
Starting point is 00:24:51 Yes, I did. Yes, I did. I feel like that's a bonus point. He's actually about to jump on CNBC right now. MSNBC right now. You guys can be tied at five now. Jill, another travel-based question. How many times have I been to Italy? Oh, I'm gonna say two.
Starting point is 00:25:12 But maybe I should say. Come on, we gotta fucking cut that off. He gave you a hint. I did. You went, because he didn't say right. I didn't look. He definitely didn't say right. Right, that's true.
Starting point is 00:25:25 I'm gonna just say two. Two is correct. Oh, God. It's eight. You guys should not look at me. You guys should not look at me. Amir, what? Oh wait, so it's six, four.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Oh, is it? Yeah, six, four. Yeah. I gotta get one and steal one. What order were my triplet sisters born in? Ooh, I don't know this. I don't know this. I just hope Jill doesn't know. She does.
Starting point is 00:25:52 I'll guess. Rachel, Sarah, Liza. That's correct. Yes! Sorry. Tim Braham wrote the studio. That was a, could have gone one of eight ways. So the fact that I got it right was really cool.
Starting point is 00:26:07 What brand of underwear? You don't want to dissect that at all. How did I know? How did you? I mean, I think I would have probably guessed that as well, but only because I know. So what made you what made you say Rachel before? Liza is the most diminutive.
Starting point is 00:26:23 She's the small. So I thought last, even though there's probably no correlation. Yeah. And then it was sort of a toss up between Rachel and Sarah. Yeah. And Rachel's more like outward and confident. Sarah's more introverted and like, you know, meditative. So I'm like, okay, so like the most confident one
Starting point is 00:26:41 came out first, then Sarah, then Liza as the most diminutive one. Interesting. But I, then Liza as the most immediately one. But I don't know if that's just a random coincidence or. I don't even know if that's my sister's personalities, but it's good that you thought that because it made you react. I did. And what do you think about my personalities?
Starting point is 00:26:59 Yeah, what do you think of the way you were described? I thought it was inaccurate, though you were earnest and I really, like I appreciated that you gave this thought. How would you describe Rachel, Sarah, and Liza? This is for point. I would actually suggest that all of them have the same quality, like they're all in that,
Starting point is 00:27:21 yeah, you don't have to like- Well, they were all born the same day. I was trying to slice it down to the last minute. The second. Yeah. One minute a piece. I almost said a peach again. Was it?
Starting point is 00:27:31 Which is something I said before we recorded. Was there that story too, was Sarah holding a heel? No, that's the. That's Jacob and Nisa. That's Jacob and Nisa. That's what the Bible says. They came out like a human chain. One delivered the next.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Right, no, Sarah was choking Eliza. Yeah, exactly. All right, so it's six to five. Yeah. You need to get one wrong so I can steal. Jill, what brand of underwear do I wear exclusively? Pad of thieves. That's nice.
Starting point is 00:27:59 That's correct, wow, I really didn't think you were gonna get that. I fold it all the time. You do not. I do too, and I don't know how you like it folded. So I just sometimes guess and then I wonder if when I'm not looking he refolds. He refolds it OCD style.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Yeah. I know. I have gotten better about. Cause you boys fold boxers in half. No, you like them long. I, yeah, no I fold them. And do you like them with the folding crease on this left side or the right side? And the coldest is the next question. So don't give it away. Yeah
Starting point is 00:28:27 Amir yeah, what was my daily Starbucks order for eight years steel Grande sweetened iced coffee and warmed up butter croissant Correct. Do you know that well Well, he missed the half and half. Well, I put the half and half in myself. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But I don't know if that matters, but.
Starting point is 00:28:54 I mean, I would've. The swirl, the one swirl. I would've accepted. Remember that swirl? Needs to, yeah, it needs to sort of get shaken. He goes, shoot. With the new, in the new post COVID era, Starbucks with the mobile order,
Starting point is 00:29:11 I think they've taken the cream off of the counter so you can't do it yourself. You have to trust them to do it. Trust them, Nizawa. Yeah, right, she was her style. Starbucks took a page out of sugar. Jill's still up one, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Seven to six. I'm running out of opportunities here. Jill's still up one, right? Yeah. Seven to six. I'm running out of opportunities here. What is my all-time favorite drink? In old fashion. Hmm. Water. Hmm. Iced cold, like a cold brew.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Hmm. All-time. Gatorade? No. All right. All-time favorite drink favorite drink, submitting water. I do love water. Is that considered a drink? Or you'd like I would have? Yeah, it was on the table when I was considering my all
Starting point is 00:29:58 time favorite drinks, because I did think a lot about this. Dave Eggers called water the unadulterated soul of the universe. If it's wrong, it's wrong. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. It is incorrect. It's incorrect. It's incorrect. So this is my opportunity. This is your opportunity to steal. There is a correct answer and I think you're gonna be kicking yourself when you find out what it is. Don't look at me like that. You think I care?
Starting point is 00:30:22 You think I care? Ow! Ow! I deserve that. Jake's favorite drink and golfer is the Arnold Palmer. I was correct. I see. I think you are kicking yourself in the face.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Ow! I also hit my head. So far we're both concussed and tied. We're finally tied. 7-7 with two questions left. This is your last question. So you could actually. So seven, seven and we both missed one. This is question 16 of 16.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Yeah. This is to win. This is to win it all. I'm fucking scared. What if I don't know it? Wait, that's unfair. What? Seven to seven, that means there are 14 questions. Aren't there 16 total? No, there's 16. Oh, there's one we got both wrong, the's unfair. What? Seven to seven, that means there are 14 questions,
Starting point is 00:31:05 aren't there 16 total? No, there's one we got both wrong, the omelet. Yeah. And then this is the 16th. So it really is a tiebreaker. Yeah. Can I just steal it? You might have the opportunity.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Okay. Amir. Okay. What were my two feet injuries? And I do need you to be specific. Good game. I'm gonna phone a friend. I'm gonna call my dad and tell him I know the answer.
Starting point is 00:31:35 I'm gonna win a million dollars. I get it wrong. You fractured slash broke your calcaneus, which is your heel bone. He's good. He's good. Then on a hike in Hawaii that I was at, you slipped and got turf toe. Turf toe. And those are your two feet injuries.
Starting point is 00:31:56 It wasn't just turf toe. What? It's a torn ligament that led to a surgery for his bunions. A torn ligament. It was the turf toe was misdiagnosed. Yeah, misdiagnosed. It was actually a torn ligament in my fifth metatarsal. Yes! No! A torn ligament in your fifth metatarsal. What is that in sports? By a mile, no. I've never.
Starting point is 00:32:30 I urge you to reconsider. By a technicality. Technicality. So you thought by a mile, you held up your fingers in a really tiny. Well in this metaphor, you're a thousand miles. Did I win by a technicality? It's the VAR review,
Starting point is 00:32:49 and I can't have this game decided by VAR. I think I would call what has happened here, largely a tie. Basically I think- But you're still really pissed about the omelet to a place where maybe the game- I'm pissed you say you fold my laundry a lot, because I actually do a lot of folding.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Yeah, that's true. I wouldn't say- A major folder. What's a lot? How does he fold his omelet? So there's cream cheese, mushrooms- I wonder. Okay. And water on the side for dipping?
Starting point is 00:33:17 We can settle this the same way that we settled. Basically, I think Jake is a troll who doesn't do his own laundry. It's my portrait. I know you touched the car four times. Edge of tomorrow's on repeat. Edge of tomorrow and one of the Lord of the Rings. I do love that movie. He's just tapping the door with four fingers.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Tapping the door with four fingers. Yeah, hitting the clicker. Hitting the clicker. We're gonna settle this the same way. Tiebreaker. You guys are gonna go back and forth naming my friends from high school. Whoa, an old fashioned tiebreaker. Yeah, whoever can't name an old friend.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Old friends. Here we go. Who wants to go first? Eddie. Mike Carnell. Jeff Rosenberg. Let's get these. The classics all the way. Jeff Rosenberg. Let's get these. The classics all the way. Dave Rosenberg. Okay. Christine Reymar.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Lynn. Nice. Nice with the Lynn pole. Very good. Jamie. Jamie, of course. Christine, yeah. Lynn. Eddie, naturally.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Eli Hutchinson. Incredible, incredible. Freeze me up to say Steve. Steve, that was classic. Great. Love Steve. Ian Rupp. How do you know Ian Rudd it's really close I'll give it to you for sure where are we where are we where are we um Joe Winick good good work and his brother Matthew and Nick Joe's brother's name is Alex and I wouldn't accept that.
Starting point is 00:35:06 In Michigan or something. Yeah, but he's definitely, I wouldn't say that counts as one of my high school friends. You also called him Matthew. This part of the game has a lot of tension. We're really thinking. Yeah. I feel that. And in specifically high school.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Right. I'm just like going through my mind of all these like former holiday parties or people I've met at bar or something and they're just like hey and then I leave and I'm like who's that? And Jake's like friend. Do you know one other? I don't I don't have any I think I was gonna throw in Frank Because he was in the crew. Yeah, right. Don't serve. Oh for sure. Okay, Frankie Dell you're out but I didn't have it. There it is. There it is. Frank.
Starting point is 00:36:06 There it is. Fucking Frank. Frank, she won it all with Frank. You know, I would have also accepted Nate. Nate was out there. Oh yeah, I played basketball with Nate. Yeah, yeah. This is where the brain would have had to keep, you know.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Well, great work. Wow, good question. Great game. Great game. Wow, that was exciting. It was like, what was that, two hours or? That was nine minutes. I'm sweating. Well, great work. Wow. Great question. Great game. Great game. Wow. That was exciting. It was like, what was that?
Starting point is 00:36:28 Two hours or? That was nine minutes. I'm sweating. I have 30 more questions. Who knows me less? Beautiful. Now I'll read a poem for you guys. That's nice.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Wow. I like that they both came down to the tiebreaker. I asked Jeff Rosenberg yesterday for high school names, thinking that it would come down to the tiebreaker. Yeah. I asked Jeff Rosenberg yesterday for high school names thinking that it would come down. No, really? I didn't know Ian Rupp or Rudd. Oh, really? I was like, why did I just knew you would ask that? That's incredible.
Starting point is 00:37:00 And that still wasn't enough. We get that way though. No, but I think in that way, he knows you so well. I knew what questions you would like. I didn't think about this game till like, walked into the room at 10 a.m. Really, Jeff should have given me more names.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Did you know Lynn? Lynn was part of the list. It was Lynn, Christine, Eddie, and then those two people that I didn't know. Right, okay, so yeah. But like, cheating for your heart. Like, you really wanted it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:26 You wanted the win. Frank and fucking Joe, I didn't know those. Yeah, Jake O'Donnell, you knew Jake. Oh yeah. Hank, I would've won that. See I had those, but I was also like, I should save them until you were like throwing out some names.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Yeah, no, I was gone, I was done. I was really done before Ian. Ian, what had happened? I wanna see Jeff's list. I think it was just those Yeah, I was really and let it happen. I want to see I want to see Jeff's list I think it was those four that was it guys. I didn't know yeah, and you thought that'd be enough Yeah, plus Jeff and Dave and Mike right yeah, I mean how many friends can one person have I mean I was struggling to At the same time once you guys got Steve I was like who else is there? Cuz I wanted to make sure but
Starting point is 00:38:05 then again yeah the other guys for sure good game I'm gonna make you an omelet. cream cheese mashed potatoes and water all right we're back yeah Joe left with trophy. Yes, she left with that W. The omelet question was such a debacle that I thought you were gonna forfeit her instantly and on the day. We were, that was our first fight. Yeah. What I saw there was a nasty, that I've never seen. There was tension. It was all coming out. Yeah, that was obviously about other shit.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Water was not your favorite drink. It's kind of interesting, because she won, but it felt like she lost. Definitely, looking back on it, only remember the ones I got right. But she walked away quite easily in the tiebreaker. Yeah, unfortunately, like you, I think you missed some layups
Starting point is 00:39:05 and you got lucky with some guesses, but like, if you would hit those layups, if you would hit the ones that were easy, like the whiskey one, I really think was. Yeah, Bullet, I should have known. Yeah, I thought you like graduated from Bullet and now you like something else. Yeah, yeah, and it's true and it's planted,
Starting point is 00:39:21 but I wouldn't have expected you to know that, which is why Bullet was accepted. Yeah, acceptable too. Yeah. Okay, but we have, for the last segment, another sort of weird game that I invented. Right, this time I get to play. Yes, so Jake's gonna be doing a spelling bee,
Starting point is 00:39:38 but there's a wrinkle. It's, as he's spelling the word letter by letter, I'm gonna be spelling a different word in between his letters. So Jake's not only supposed to get his word correctly, but he's also supposed to listen to what word I'm spelling in between his letters. Kind of hard to explain, but you'll see it on the day.
Starting point is 00:40:00 So Nicole, do you have a word for Jake to spell? Yes, restaurant. Restaurant, solid. So now I'm gonna be thinking of a word with roughly that many letters, so that as he's spelling restaurant, which you have to check to see if he's doing correctly, I'm gonna be spelling a different word
Starting point is 00:40:18 that you have to listen to me spell. Hold on, don't get there yet, because I'm thinking of a word that's, because it has to be that many letters as well. Um... Uh... Okay. This is the hardest part of the game.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Okay. Yeah. Ready? Yep. R-C-E-O-S-M-T-E-A-U-T. R-E-A-R-N. A U T R A R N T. Did he spell it correctly? He did.
Starting point is 00:40:55 You, I thought you were spelling company. Com- compare? No. Com-p- C O M P. compare? No. C-O-M-P. It ended with R. Comcar? Computer. Oh nice.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Computer. Computer. Okay, give me one. Now I want to try Computer. Okay, give me one. Now I want to try. So Nicole, give me a word, and then Jake, you'll spell a different word while I'm spelling the word. Financial.
Starting point is 00:41:34 That's really good. All right, okay. It's hard to, closing your eyes is cheating, I should say. I just thought of that rule. Closing your eyes is cheating. Too much concentration. You have to just look. Okay, financial, ready? Yeah. F-A-I-V-N-A-A-I. Closing your eyes is cheating. Too much concentration. I see. You have to just look.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Okay, financial. Ready? Yeah. F-A-I-V-N-A-A-I-N-L-C-A-I-B-A-L-L-E. Are you done with your word? Yeah. Viable? Did Amir get his word right?
Starting point is 00:41:57 He did. He got mine wrong. It was available. Is that what you were saying with your word? Yeah. Viable? Did Amir get his word right? He did. He got mine wrong. It was available. Damn it. It really is hard to talk and listen at the same time.
Starting point is 00:42:13 I'm honestly not sure I spelled available right. But it was definitely, it wasn't viable because I started with that A. All right. You should do this at the fucking Scripps National Spelling Bee. Let's trip these 11 year olds old right the judges should be able to Like when you're counting something and someone's behind you 1920 1920 alright
Starting point is 00:42:34 Give me one more nickel. We got to get it right definition. Oh, this is gonna be impossible Okay, D R E A F G Okay. D-R-E-A-F-G. I-N-F. I-U-T-L-O. And did I even get mine right yeah F o re It's only we only hear like the beginnings yeah, yeah, there's like yeah
Starting point is 00:43:23 referendum rageful rageful rageful. Nice. Yeah, asshole. All right. One last one. I got to get one for the fucking culture. I can't walk out of here. A three time loser.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Surrender. I'm dead. I'm dead. Okay. Okay. Um, hold on. Let me think of something. Um, okay. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Let me think of something. Okay. F, S, U advice cast. Each have different than the last.
Starting point is 00:44:12 I got lucky because I sort of I was gonna say S-U-R-R without listening. That was my plan. So I'm just and then only listening to you. Yeah yeah. And then I like I'll have to spell the rest and hear what the last few letters were. So I was like S-I-T-U. I'm like, it's gotta be a situation. Yeah, that's good. I was afraid you were gonna get,
Starting point is 00:44:33 I was like, it seems like, I wanted to think of an S word because I wanted to sort of mess you up at the beginning, but you did the perfect counter strategy, which was don't think about spelling my own word. Yeah. Yeah. All right, what a fucking episode. Great game. Two great games. Thanks for listening. Each one did better than the last. Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 00:44:55 And thanks for watching if you're watching on YouTube. We're also on Patreon. Patreon.com slash J.A. checking out classic Jake and Amir episodes, scrolling down memory lane. And we'll be back, I guess on Monday, with a brand new segment. Let's do it. Every day until we retire from comedy. Bye everybody! That was a Hedgum Original. favorite podcasts, hosts, and producers will be competing, including Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements from Hollywood Handbook, Mike Mitchell and Nick Weiger from Doughboys, Miles Bon Signore from Perfect Person, Amir Blumenfeld from Segments, Riley Anspach from
Starting point is 00:45:53 Review Review, and more! Get your tickets today at moment.co.gc. It's only $ what is it, 5 eighths the California minimum wage? That's M-O-M-E-N-T dot C-O slash G-E-O-F-F-A-R-D-Y. Moment.co slash Jeffery. And if you can't watch live, no problem, because the VOD version, Video On Demand, will be available for seven days following the event. So get your tickets at moment.co slash Jeffery. You won't want to miss it. Or miss it.
Starting point is 00:46:28 I don't care.

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