If I Were You - 382: Game Night (w/Hey Riddle Riddle!)

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

Fellow HeadGum podcasters Adal Rifai, Erin Keif and JPC (Hey Riddle Riddle podcast) join us to discuss breaking the ice, solving riddles, and how to poop.For more riddles and puzzles, check out Hey Riddle Riddle on HeadGum.See us all at HeadGum Live in Chicago June 14-16 at Thalia Hall!See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. That was good. That bumped. Yeah. I liked it because it was rap and it was about me. All right, we have three guests in the studio.

What did you guys think? How many of those references did you get, Aaron? Two, maybe three. Wow, that's pretty good. That's great. That's about how many I got. An adult? I got penis and prom proposal.

Okay, so that's two. And lastly, JPC. Yeah, so I got LeBron James and hard one. Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah, so we're up to six. Is that St. Mayna's song? Yeah.

Sweet. That was by Zach Schreiber, who has a SoundCloud account called Lab Lives and my dude Johnny Glazer and Jane. We're all day ones, so thank you, Zach, for writing that for us. Great song. I loved it. Thank you. We're in the studio with three guests.

Part of the newest headgum podcast, I believe, still is Hey Riddle Riddle. Thank you so much for having us. I've prepared a wrap. Oh, my God. Oh, thank God. Aaron, your eyes are bleeding. I'm not scared. I'm not scared.

He's unrolling a scroll. The reason we haven't had you guys on before is because you live in Chicago, unfortunately. Visiting LA, had you on as soon as we could, but we're actually going to Chicago to perform live comedy with you guys. So we're going to hang out today and then hang out in a month from now. Can I ask, were you saying that it's a shame we live in Chicago, or were you saying, unfortunately, it's unfortunate that you all live in Chicago because of the podcast? I clocked that too.

Yeah. And this is how we like to do our podcast. It's immediately contentious. Super sensitive. Yeah. About where we live. It's just the whole Midwest doesn't work for me. There's large swaths of our audience.

I sort of imagined you like glazing over that and then like you harboring resentment for the entire episode, but instead you just went hard on Chicago. Yeah. Going back home and moving immediately. Anything from Nevada to New Jersey is kind of a waste of time. They call it the Indian. Yeah. Flyover states.

No, we love Chicago, obviously. Yeah. Tell them. Buy tickets to our show. Deep dish pizza, the 97 bowls, we can't have enough of it. The bean, everybody. We love memes too. Whatever makes us young and cool to Chicagoans or internet people in general.

Honestly, the 97 bowls, all the young kids love. Yeah. Are you guys all from Chicago? Yeah, nothing makes you younger than loving the 97 bowls. Hey, 13-year-olds, John Paxton, right? No, Adel and I are from the Midwest and Aaron's from the East Coast. I'm from Boston. Boston.

Yeah. What brought you to Chicago? I didn't really mean to move there. I like went to take improv classes for a sum. Ma'am, you're on the wrong plane. I don't care. Yeah, and then I loved it so much and made friends and stayed. Wow, very cool.

It's cool that you guys are all moving to LA now. That's very cool for us. So I'm sure you guys know this already, but our show is an advice show. People will email us. They're in sticky situations. We do our best to provide our answers with our wisdom. Now, I don't know if we've ever had three guests on the show. Three's the max.

Three's the max. One of us cannot talk. Oh, that'd be great. I'll do it. What about your rap? She'll hold your rap. You'll never hear it. It's only because Mars, our super producer, was able to set this up for us.

I wasn't able to actually get five people in the room, but Mars figured it out. So shout out to Mars. It took some effort to put all of the headphones in the right jacks. Yeah, that was me, actually. No, not really. No, not really. But I figured out how to use the splitter. You took credit for that immediately.

As far as the riddle of figuring out how to get five people talking at the same time, I guess I could say that I nailed that one. I do want to get to riddles later, but for now, I guess we should answer some real questions. It's going to be hard to go back to our setup in Chicago, because this setup feels like I'm in my friend's living room, like a really comfy living room. That's the vibe we were trying to go for, so I appreciate that. Yeah. Although now that with five people in here, I'm having a hard time twisting my head to

look at everybody. Jake's in a better seat. Yeah, I can see everything. I'm so nice. All right, here's a question called Party Games, written by a dude. JPC, why don't you give this guy a fake name so we can preserve his anonymity, but still refer to him? Okay, do we want first and last?

Let's go first and last. Felix Cockhammer. Wow. He's good. Good luck, other two. Oh, no. That's my one fake name I guess. That's Aaron's classic fake name I just pooched.

I don't always laugh at that, but it'd be funny if you were staring at him. I told you, I'm in the car right over there. That's the one name I was coming in. Don't tell my dad's real name on the podcast. He stole Cockhammer. You're the Cockhammer now. All right, Cockhammer writes, hi dudes. Me and my friend are having a joint birthday party next week.

Hell yeah. That was a joint spell. That was correctly. The one way you can talk. I guess it's not a homonym, yeah. There will be people from different friend groups and I'm afraid that they won't mix and have fun. What are some good games slash general things we can do to make it easier for people to

interact slash meet each other? So many of the games I look up online are kind of lame. I don't want to be lame, a lame try hard host, but I also don't want to be, I don't want this to be like every other mediocre house party. Love Felix Cockhammer. P.S., thanks for playing my song the other week. I was pleased. Oh, great.

So we did that. You're welcome. Do you get people credit with their real names when they send in the songs? Yes. Those people get real names. People are going to be able to find this person's identity. This guy wasn't writing an audio to a dummy sound cloud. This wasn't a shameful question, so we probably didn't need a fake name, but it's tradition

at this point. Fair enough. What are your thoughts in general about party games? At parties? Are you guys fans? Are you guys thinking it's kind of lame? I have a lot of friends who get angry at me for organized conversation in games. Organized conversation in games?

Both. Organized conversation in games. So a party comes at your house and you're like, all right, it's time to talk about. And then you reach into a bag. And like if you are different kinds of small animals, which kind of small animals? People are like, let conversations be organic. Do you treat every party like it's a first date? Yeah.

And when the conversation goes? That's when you're shouting at a rave, too. Rolling face. If you can live in any state you've never been to, what would it be? And why? You're dead alone in a warehouse? You're in the calm down tent. Yeah.

JPC? This is a difficult question, too, because it's two different friend groups where I feel like organized stuff works well with like, I don't know that it works well to like blend friend groups. As ice breakers. Yeah. I would say that it's better to just go like super thematic and just throw like a murder mystery party.

Whoa. Everybody comes, they get an info card, they're playing a character. Wow. And instead of actually like meeting, like new people meeting these new people, everyone's a new person, they're all in the same playing field. And there's been a murder. And people are new to themselves. Yes.

I prefer murder mysteries where there's no murder. That's the mystery. Sorry, I thought someone would die today. Adult thoughts on games. I've got to be like, it's been a strong arm robbery. Yeah, just a light burden. Somebody double parked? Who cares?

Yeah, I agree that it's always awkward when like somebody turns on the music and they're like, listen up everyone, here's what we're going to do. Yeah. But then it's also, it also sucks balls if someone, if, if like the TV's on or something and everybody just starts to do like an MSDK, like commentary, which is a lot of parties I've been to. Yeah, they just turn into people being sarcastic. Yeah.

Everyone's trying to win the party. And so I would say, I think just starting to, like Aaron said, something starting organically, like everyone just starts speaking in a certain way or I don't know, I'll do a fun accent. Do a fun accent. I think you need to start hanging out with non-comedy people. Yeah. What's more fun than this? Boo.

Game nights are kind of a delicate tightrope act for me. You were, you were thrown out of a game night. Yeah, I was playing Mafia at a friend's of a, no, my girlfriend's friend's house. You can say you brought a gun. I might as well, I should have brought a gun. I'm playing Mafia. And I brought a gun. They would have yelled at me less if I brought the gun.

They were just genuinely mad because I messed it up. We don't have to relive that. No, I'd love to hear you mess it up. Okay, basically I accused someone of being a doctor. No, I told, I told the crowd that I was the doctor. I accused someone of being a mafia and he's like, no, I'm not the mafia. I'm like, yeah, right. And he's like, I'm not, I'm the doctor.

I'm like, you're just saying that to act like you're important that we shouldn't kill you. Yeah. And he's like, no, I am the doctor. How would you know I'm not the doctor? And I said, because I'm the doctor. And then everyone believed me. I wasn't the doctor. They all killed him.

He was the doctor. And he got genuinely mad at me. Why would you do that? Why would you lie? Why would you accuse? That's the game. That's what I said. The game is all lies.

Jake's on my side. Some people are against me. I'm against you. I'm against you. Feel free to speak up. I think it was really messed up. I shouldn't have done that. Were you a...

Not even in the game. Were you a talent person with no role? That's right. Yeah, that's just, you're just an agent of chaos at that point. See, that's what I don't understand, but that's definitely what he thought. He was like, if you're a talent person with no role, you have no business saying that. I'm like, why? We're all just accused people of shit.

He was acting like he actually went to medical. He really thought he was a doctor. A super fun thing to do if you're rich as hell is to buy multiple copies of Werewolf. Put all Werewolf cards in a deck and deal them out. If you have like 10 friends, give everybody Werewolf and watch how everyone plays knowing that they're... Or I guess Mafia is what you're playing. Yeah.

Same similar thing. Yeah. Same amazing social experiment. I've done that a few times and it's fascinating to see immediately you can pick up on people's like poker. Wait, you tell everyone that they're the bad guy? I think you tell everyone they're the good guy because if you say everyone's a Werewolf and you say Werewolves open your eyes, everyone just opens their eyes the first night and

they're like, oh fuck you. That would be me ruining the party. An agent of chaos. If you tell everyone they're a good guy, it is just absolute utter chaos because people are like, I know you have to give me... They're killing anyone every night. That's closer to the Salem witch trial. Yeah.

They didn't find any real witches. But it is hard to get games going genuinely, but once they are going, they're very fun, like those Jackbox TV games. Yeah, those are really fun. It's late. It's like tiny little bit of buy-in because every time someone's like, all right, everybody like sit down, we're going to play a game, like fuck this. Five minutes later, I'm like, let's go.

Team number one. Team number one. Nine. Yeah. Once you get going, it's fun, but it's hard to start it up. Running charades. You guys ever play running charades? Yeah.

Running charades is a great, great party game. I would say for this guy, I think having a game like running charades... What is running charades? It's you separate into two teams. One person has like a list and you send a representative out into like a main like meeting room. They get the clue. They send it back to their team.

Once they solve, somebody else runs in. It's like charades where you're racing against another team to get through like 10 clues. Interesting. Oh, interesting. It's super fun. It's like very active. It also is like really bonding for like the 10 people that you're with, which is a nice way to meet new people.

Yeah. But I would also be like, maybe I would just use alcohol instead of games, see how everybody mixes, and if you're like, oh, this is not fun, I got to whip out charades. Yeah. So use it as like a second line of defense. To me, that's kind of like what party games are all the time. Like I'll try to have a nice organic fun time. I'd love to hear hypothetical questions.

I can get drunk at a party and talk hypotheticals forever. But if there's a lull, then you whip out a game. But that's on somebody else. You can talk about it forever. But if other people aren't holding up there into the bar and it's like, fine, I got to bring in a game to help you. There's always a hypothetical. There's always a hypothetical.

Yeah. There's a hypothetical that'll unlock every. Don't just say Delaware. That doesn't do shit for the conversation. Now we have to play charades. You fucked up the answer. Now we're playing charades. Three words.

Sounds like get the hell out of here. I do want to say you said if there's a lull to introduce that. I don't want to make this awkward. JPC does have a podcast called From Lulls to Lulls. Oh, wow. To get, yeah. It's to get a conversation started, basically. Do you want to plug that real quick?

Oh, yeah. Go. Well, you did a great job. But you're really hammered at home. That's my podcast soon to be on the hand of network. We'll take it. We'll have it. Is it available?

It's ours now. It's too late. Every week there's new advice on how to get out of a weird conversation. Oh, I'm so sorry. No, the podcast starts out with like maybe 30, 45 minutes of dead silence and then you just hear me start to laugh and then gradually laugh until the podcast ends abruptly. Oh, I see. That's really perfect.

Because then if you're in a conversation, Lull, you'd be like, hey, have you heard about this really, really weird podcast? Have you heard about this fucking psychopath? That would be a really scary podcast to fall asleep to. Yes. Because it's just silence and then maniacal laughter. What are you, my iTunes interviews? There's still five stars.

We'll take it. There's a thousand episodes. And at the end of every episode, you go to Lowe's. From Lulls to Lowe's to Lulls. New episodes drop every 25 minutes. Do you guys think you have to give people a heads up? This is a game night party. Yes.

Or do you just whip it out halfway through a regular party? Whip it out halfway through a regular party. Oh, your JPC wants the heads up. Yeah, it got to do a heads up. I want a heads up if it's a murder mystery party. That is a surprise. I need weeks to prepare my character and my voice. Then we're thinking, I'm going shopping.

I have an outfit. I'm wearing a three piece suit. I'm going to get a fucking chain watch. And it's really hard when like half the people are not playing and half the people are playing. You have to have like a near 90% buy-in for the game night. Otherwise, there's complete and utter chaos. Yes. It's a party where we played Mafia where someone showed up like 40 minutes late and they showed up like in the middle of a round of Mafia and it was awful.

I was like, welcome to the party. Sit and just fucking wait. You can't even really talk to anyone else because we're in the middle of this game. As people die, you can talk to them. So I hope you know them. It sounds like me at that Mafia party. You said that it's not a good move to accuse someone of being a doctor. I want to hear the other side.

If you are a good guy, if you are on the town's people's side, you're just trying to survive and the best way to survive is to wait and listen for the correct information. If you start accusing people, if you don't have information, makes the game go quicker and there's the possibility that you could catch all of the Mafia. But as a town's person, waiting and listening, waiting, watching, watching how people vote, that's the most important thing that you can do. Yeah, but not every town's person can wait. It does take one person to operate on a hunt. Assuming that there is a sheriff. That guy looks very suspicious, one could say. I think that that's valid, but saying like, hey, isn't it weird that this guy's voted to kill someone every day for three days?

And it's like, that's different than being like, by the way, bitch, I'm the doctor. And it's like, no, you're not. So here's what I would say. This is happening. You can go outside. All right, because daddy's got this. And that just for listeners, Jake and I are standing on the table and we're just grabbing each other with our shoulders straight on top of each other. Jake is on his lap.

But what if you have one Zany Werewolf who's like cornered about to get murdered and he's like, no, no, no, I'm the fucking doctor. And like, nobody trusts this guy. Like, what's to stop a werewolf from saying he's the doctor? I mean, that's just good werewolf play. Yeah, that's right. You have to go by the voting record. This is how I pick my senators. This is how I play my werewolf.

Sir, I should say that it was Elizabeth Warren who was screaming at me saying, why would you do this? You're ruining this for me. I will say, I'm not sure if you played it in this variant, but there's in werewolf or mafia, there's a role that is out for themselves only to be killed by the townspeople. So they only win if they're killed by the townspeople. It's called like the Tanner or the Joker or the Jester and some things. That is a very fun role to play. I would be good at that. You're trying to get people to kill you and just lying and rattling suspicion and accusing people.

That's the one role I would love. I hate when I'm a werewolf in these games because I don't like lying. But if I'm like out on my own lying, no team, no allegiance. No team, no allegiance. Just wanting to be murdered. It is the best way to play that game. That's the sort of risk of the party games is that it might cause more anger and animosity than actual camaraderie. This is why I think you have to warn people that it's going to be like a team game night thing

because you might like one super fucking competitive person might be like, Okay, we're playing games. Good. And then just like now they're yelling at people and it's... Yeah, I always say werewolf or mafia is like too dangerous to play with a group of new people. I don't know. Well, with a group of new people, the game usually becomes like, I don't like your fucking face. Because it's like, if you don't know anybody, you're randomly selecting someone to accuse to like to accuse towards. And it's always going to be someone you're like, what's their deal?

Everybody takes it personally. Like people that are really friends. Amy's college friends. What's your thing? Aaron, you're from Boston. Is that realistic? Is that true to life in terms of in Boston every night? Does the mafia open their eyes and go kill one person? Yeah, exactly.

Just the whole city is like the departed every day. Lighty bulger style. I think that games where you end up yelling at each other is bad for that night, but good for friendship in the long run. Oh, that's beautiful. It's like siblings fighting. So the next time they see each other at a party, they're like, remember when I yelled at you and I threw orange soda in your face? That did almost happen to me when the entire party accused me of ruining their game night.

But when I saw them again, they weren't happy to see me. There was that asshole that tried to ruin game night. They were all better friends because they got together and were like, remember that douchebag over here? Who said he was a doctor? I was playing a party game called party and I was voted out. I was voted the asshole and nobody came to my defense. You can't vote me out. I'm not the asshole. I did just recall maybe the most successful party I've been to, which was they had everyone prepare a two and a half minute TED talk.

So it's like you have two and a half minutes tops and you can like bring slides. You can bring whatever. So you got to know a little bit about everyone's personality or sense of humor. That's great because it's a game but it's not competitive. Yeah, and it was over within like 40 minutes or something, 45 minutes. I love when parties have homework. That's the counterpoint. Of course, you have to prepare to come to the party.

And size of the party matters too, right? Because if this is a 10 person party or like a 50 person party, because if it's a 50 person party, like for fucking get it, just play music, you know, and let people mingle. You can have like little game stations, you know? Ooh, yeah. Oh yeah, like there's Mario Party. Talk about homework. It's just like college when you go the first day and everyone's like join my club.

Yeah. You have your hypothetical corner. You have the, I don't like your fucking face. Yeah. Why did you direct that at me? It'd be awesome to do a party where you're the teacher, everyone has to dress up as students, and then you assign them, they have to like do homework and activities and projects. Oh, that's good.

You bring glue and that's fun, right? It's a party, Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 9 a.m. I'll do what I did in kindergarten, go to the little house section alone and just like take care of a baby and do chores. Every party I've ever had, I have a whiteboard in my apartment and I write funniest person at the party and then I keep switching the name out as it changes stuff the evening. Oh, that's good. Like a golf leaderboard. Ooh, great job.

We'll put the runners up so they know if they're like in contention and then they have to be on, on, on. I would be so sad if I was never on the board. I make a chores board. You recharge the dishes, stick around afterwards. That's like a huck fin thing to do. I think you're gonna whitewash the fins. So that's an actual good bit of advice to answer this guy's question. What's a good game or thing we can get to interact and people for me to meet each other?

I'm not a, I'm not disliking the TED Talk idea. It is, it is, it does require some buy-in from your guests. And when they ask you what to bring, you're really like, can you bring Chip's dip and a four minute presentation? I have a choice between going to a bar with my friends or doing homework, as Aaron said. I'm gonna do the homework. I love homework and I miss it. You never get to do it as an adult. Well, I do, there is like a slight bit of truth to that too though, because like,

I think something like that is so novel that people are like, oh yeah, like we could go to a bar any weekend, but doing like a two minute TED Talk thing. I feel like I'd be like, oh, I'm excited about that. That sounds fun. People also like bragging about what they know a lot about. For sure. What do you, what would you guys, what would your TED Talk be about? Doing good sex.

Alright, never mind. Mine would probably be doing good sex. Yeah, so it's like a cope presentation. We've never had sex, but we both are confident. We both know exactly where it goes. You'd go first. Mine's about having actual good sex. Mine would be about holding your pee while you sex.

That's good. It's all sex related TED Talks. Sex talks. Legit, if I was to do a TED Talk and I have done this TED Talk before, it would be about budgeting. Oh, that's very practical. Thanks man. That's hotter than that. Mine would be how Jennifer Lopez was the best romantic comedy actress in the early 2000s.

It was underrated, I think. Does Drew Barrymore listen to this podcast? Yeah. You heard me, Drew. Did you watch Second Act? No. Is it good? I saw it with my mother last Mother's Day.

It was. Oh my God, what was it? Hold on. Let's take a break. No, what's pretty good for a random romantic comedy starring a 50 year old Jennifer Lopez? She still got it. Second Act? Second Act?

What's that? I was just listing her great romantic comedy. I'm not that one. The wedding planner. The wedding planner is so good. The wedding planner is good. So good. Made in Manhattan is so good.

Yeah, and she was mostly a singer before that. Yeah. Wow. Give it up for J-Lo. Breaking your heart on the screen. Was she an actress and then turned singer? I thought she was like a dancer turned singer turned actor. Yeah.

I thought she, oh wait, was her first movie, her first big one with Selena? Wasn't it? Yeah. Listen, we can get into Selena in my TED Talk. Actually, let's talk about it. What would your TED Talk be about? Maybe like Tiki culture. Yeah.

Let's just play Jack Bucky. I take it all back. Actually, let's talk web budgeting and Tiki culture. Where's everyone going? I'd rather everyone yell at me. It was kind of fun to be like the Larry David of the night. Yeah. People were, how often as an adult are a room full of people actually genuinely mad at you

for something you don't think you did wrong. So like I didn't have any of the guilt. Yeah. Because I didn't spill anything. It's rare to be in your 30s and in trouble. Yeah. From other 30-year-olds. Am I in trouble?

I kept looking at my girlfriend. I'm like, is this crazy or am I like, am I bad? Was she avoiding eye contact with you? She didn't want to get into the middle of it because these are all her friends. She's like, she didn't want to be like, leave my boyfriend alone, you guys. Because that's also a little bit sadder. But she was kind of in between you two. This does feel very Larry David now.

Yes. People were like screaming at me. Can we put this guy in blast? Can we say his name? I'll let you know who it is. Because he is a famous person you guys would really enjoy hearing. It's Felix Cockholder. Oh my God.

All right. Let's take a break. We'll thank some sponsors. We'll be back with more questions and answers after this. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this headgum podcast. You know, Aura Frames is sponsoring not just this episode, but the entire headgum network, Jake. Wow. That's correct.

I mean, this might be the Goat Father's Day gift. I think it actually is. Yeah. Yeah, not just Father's Day, but if for any not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon, these digital photo frames might be the best of all time. Yeah. For me personally, these things are perfect. I'll tell you why.

As you know, I am expecting my first child. We got one for Jill's parents. Oh wow. We got one for Jill's grandma. Holy smokes. We got one for my parents. So there are three of these bad boys in our family right now, but they're great. Really easy way to like stay in touch with your family.

You can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen. It's really nice. Oh, that's cool. So you take a photo of anything, perhaps a baby, and then it goes to their digital photo frame. This is actually how we told Jill's grandma she was pregnant. We got her the aura frame. We plugged it in. Jill's grandma was pregnant.

Really nice asshole. This was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife. And you're trying to make a joke of it. I was just being goofy a little bit like, this is how I told my grandma she was pregnant. Yeah, kind of like she misheard it or something like that. Or the way you said it was kind of like, could go either way. By the way, Jill's grandma is pregnant. Oh my God.

Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant. It's pretty cool. And you told me with a digital photo frame? Holy smokes. And we let her know with an aura. Yeah. Thank you. The aura announcement.

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Go get your parents something. All right. And use the code HEADGUM for $30 off plus free shipping. Right on. Thank you, Aura. And now back to the HEADGUM podcast you were listening to. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Thank you, BetterHelp.

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Mom, I'm coming. Gross. Uh, firstly, sorry about that mom, I'm coming part. Worst stinger ever. Secondly, I didn't prep you guys for this unsolicited device part because I thought it would be more fun if we just tried to answer a riddle in homage to your podcast on the headgum network. Hey, Riddle Riddle, wearing you three try to answer riddles. It's really fun to listen. Try the strong word.

Yeah, attempt to. It's really fun to listen. And I'm always like, I wish I was in there with those, those three trying to answer the riddles. So why don't we do that right now if possible? Do you guys have a riddle that me and Jake can try to answer? I, what do you think? Or a riddle that all of us don't know or maybe just Jake and I don't know. It's totally up to you guys.

Again, we should have prepared this. Yeah. You're better at telling it. Okay. Typo. Mom, I'm still coming. I have a rap. I'm going to do, so I'll do this one.

So there is, and if you know this one, let me know. We'll go on to a different one. Okay. There's a cabin in the woods. Wait, Jake, just stay out of my fucking way. Okay, watch this. Jake and me are standing on the table. There's a cabin in the woods inside the cabin.

There are 10 people dead. They all died at the same time. And there are no footprints leading up to the cabin. How did they die? They all died at the same time. Approximately. Around the same time. Got it.

It's not an avalanche. That's a great case. Yeah, like why wouldn't they have all died in the avalanche? Because then they would have died at different times. No, they could have. I mean, avalanche is kill. Murder. Avalanche is fuck.

Murder or suicide. There's ice. What? It was the ice. There's nothing. I pivoted. From what Aaron said, I pivoted. Because Aaron gave the answer to the riddle.

The answer to the riddle she was thinking of? The answer is ice. I blew it. I blew it. The guy was murdered with an icicle. Yeah, so that's the one I think she was trying to get me to do. But the answer is ice. It's like tell that joke where and then it's the punchline.

Yeah. That was like the ice riddle. So this is, why is it not just a murder or suicide? I'm, the guy that you said was playing mafia. I'm on his side. You're being a fucking nightmare. He does sound like that. Yeah, it's unbelievable on the break that it was Danny DeVito.

It's insane. Danny Frick DeVito. 10 people in a cabin. Did you say anything about it being snowy? You just did that in your brain to make it more cinematic. So there's a cabin in the woods. Inside there's 10 people dead. They all died probably within seconds of each other if not the exact same time.

There's no footprints leading up to the cabin. How did they die? I don't know if it's like a weird annoying answer where it's like the guy who killed them all didn't leave footprints. Can I ask if it's all, everybody dies at the same time, Amir? How do you think a murder or suicide works where it's like... Because it's like bang bang bang bang bang bang bang. Which is pretty much the same guy.

Have you ever heard of a Rube Goldberg machine? Can we ask questions? Yes please. Were they murdered? No. Did they commit suicide? No. Old age and it's a coincidence.

Yes. It's like the notebook they're all holding hands. You know how periods sync up for women? Oh what about... Heart failure syncs up for octogenarian. What about... Carbon monoxide. What about drinking the Kool-Aid?

That's a really good guess. Both great guesses. What was Amir's guess? Drinking the Kool-Aid. Which is like the hail bomb? I asked if it was suicide. I asked if it was suicide. So you have to listen.

I was curious about what you said. When you kill yourself for a cult, Amir doesn't consider that suicide. That's enlightenment. Yeah because you're not dying, you're actually joining. You're joining the great meteor at the sky as it passes up her head. Was this a riddle you guys answered on the podcast and did you guys get it correctly? I think it was episode one or two. Yeah, so one of our original episodes we answered some very classic riddles.

And I would say that this is one of like... It's a type of riddle that is very classic. Got it. So it's like a lateral thinking problem. I guessed that they were already dead and were taxidermied in the cabin and that was wrong. Which is real wrong. They were never real wrong. It was wrong.

Wait, you said there's no footprints? No. Because the guy who killed them... Was walking carrying Jesus on his back the whole time. Set them all on fire. But that's just footprints, General. Because I'm thinking like... Oh, that's when I was carrying you.

Yes, yes. No, it's not important that they're... It's not human. It's just like... They all died inside this cabin. Yeah. And it's not murder and not suicide. Got it.

It's not like a bear attack. So it's an accident. If only, though. It's most likely accidental. Yeah, okay. No, we can't send anyone to jail, so we can't say if it wasn't an accident, but most likely. I'll also say they were probably all seated when they died. So it's got to be poison.

No. No. It has to be poison. A really uncomfortable chair. Yeah. That's not the cost of death, but probably yes. All seated, all accidental. This is harder than advice, because there's an actual right answer.

Right, advice. We're melting. I just phoned it in. Yeah. Yeah, we should have done the podcast you were doing, but you were already doing it. Hard, hard pass. Most likely there's two bathrooms in the cabin. One in the front and one all the way in the back.

There's two what? Bathrooms in the cabin. Usually. One all the way in the front and one in the back. I'll also say you two, I think just came from a similar cabin. Oh. I believe so. We did.

I think so. What cabin were we in? Portland, Oregon. Oh, it was a goddamn plane. Yeah. Fuck you, motherfucker. The cabin of a plane. That's the right response to a rental.

Fuck you. Fuck you, motherfucker, is our tagline for our show. Okay, cool. We're like, good, like such good clues that I almost can't give. No, I, I fully can't give myself credit. That was, that was like. You still want to say fuck you though. Yeah.

We'll fuck you because you couldn't even get it with the clue. We did a live show last night where Adel walked me to the answer to a riddle. And he's like, good, you got it. And I'm like, I'm not a fucking child. I know I didn't get it. I'm an idiot. I don't think I got any right during our live show. It's so stressful to try to answer riddles in front of a couple hundred people.

Yeah. And then when you hear the answer, are you mad? Yeah. That's not right. Are you just, that's a word joke? No. Like answers and questions. We warn people to say like, if you know it, get a smug look on your face and then keep

it inside. So people are usually pretty good at that. I think that's why people like listening to our shows because they get the answer before we do. And then they just like, it's like when you watch Jeopardy and you're like Easter Island. It's Easter Island. And you keep repeating it to let everyone in the room know. I know the answer.

How are they not getting it? Like any fools? Right. And then how do you prevent it? It brings in and they're like Madagascar and it's like, and it's right. Oh, yeah. Well, that's the nickname for Easter Island, right? Yeah.

All those heads, all those lemur heads. Easter Island, Madagascar. Yeah. For the live shows, what we do is at the beginning, Adel says that if you yelled the answer, you have to play one of my utility bills. You have to Venmo me like for my gas bill or something like that. $61. $31.

Exactly. And people pay it. Yeah. People pay every time. Worth it. So, you guys have like a classic favorite riddle that you either figured out or you didn't figure out or I don't know, one that stands out. So.

I have a favorite. Do you have one? Please go ahead. There's a dead body laying on the ground in a feather next to it. How did they die? Airplane. It was an airplane. It was an airplane.

It was ice. Isn't it a lot of like people are dead people? Yeah. Because it's honestly, yes. Lots of murders. A lot of possibilities, but only one clever answer. What's the feather one? What's the answer?

Yeah. Wow. You don't even want to fucking entertain it for nine seconds. I'll fucking try it for you. I'm the hero that got the plane. It's a, it's a, you got tickled to death. Yeah. Basically.

Yeah. Tickled to death is basically the answer. Yeah. You use a circus performer swallowing a sword and you got tickled. Is that true? Yeah. That's the actual answer. That's what happened.

And I went, oh, riddles can be anything. And this is nonsense. Oh, riddles can be terrible. They're not all snakes. Riddles. They're just like us. They could be assholes too. I remember a riddle from childhood, which is a man is lying dead in a room with 53 bicycles.

What happened? I remember, I know this one too. Oh, the playing card one? Yeah. It's playing cards. Yeah. It was cheating at the cards. That's, that's one that I was like, that was like a playground.

I feel like riddle that people would go. Are they usually just puns? Some of them are. Like cabin met airplane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bicycles met playing cards. Yeah, yeah. You know the one where it's like this guy lives on the 12th story of a penthouse or something?

Yeah. When it's raining, he takes the elevator. Yep. And when it's not, he takes the stairs. It's because he uses his umbrella because he's short. Yep. To press the buttons. Oh.

What, what word becomes shorter when you add two letters? Oh. Oh, see that's. Oh, short. Yeah. Or a hort or whatever. Kids or hort. Oh, short.

Short and here's a who. We're short. Yeah. Yeah, shorter. No, but hort was pretty good. Hort was close. Hort was close. I get you to the one yard line and you punch it in and I'm the asshole.

I ran 98 yards to the two. But Jake's the goal line back that gets the points. Quarterback walked in. You turn around to me and you're like, nice try asshole. Hort was it? Watch this. Short. Because you add two.

Yeah. No, he pretty much said that. Sweet. That is very fun. And it tickles a nice, or it scratches a nice itch. It's fun to get it right. Yeah. Like even my tickling thing.

Remember the feather one that I nailed that you wanted the answer to? You did think it was a joke what you were saying though. I don't know where you got tickled with that. Yeah. Would you have given me credit for that on the podcast where you'd be like, no, that's not even close. He's actually a circus performer that guy. We'll take any win on the podcast.

Yeah. And then on the podcast, you guys, one of you knows the answer and the other two are guessing or they're classic ones that, because in the first couple of episodes they were quote unquote classic ones, but one of you still had to find them out and know the answer to it. Right. I think at first we did one or two where nobody knew the answer. So we got the questions then we'd look up the answer.

So all three of us were playing along and then we found that it was better to have someone leading bread crumbs to the home. So now we have one of us each episode is Old Man Puzzles. That's good. We'll posit all the questions. That's very good. And how often do they end with fuck you? Like, oh, fuck you.

80% of the time. We're either saying fuck you to the riddle, fuck you to each other, or fuck you to the person who submitted it. There's never like, that was a good riddle. I figured it out. Awesome job. Have you guys dipped into like the car talk puzzlers? No.

The NPR, the car talk as puzzles? I mean, it's all about cars except for they used to every once or no, every show they would do like a riddle and then give the answer the next. Oh, that's great. Was it this type of riddle? It was similar. But sometimes it was like, I mean, sometimes it was a riddle and sometimes it was just like a straight up like really convoluted math problem.

They would take submissions. Sounds like these dudes have been doing it way longer and they're eating their fucking lunch. Let's start talking about cars on Hey Riddle. Yeah, I guess so. In Boston accent. There are, I mean, if you listen to something like, wait, wait, don't tell me or even play like Trivil Pursuit, like to me, that's not really fun because either you know the answer

or you don't. Right. There's no sussing it out. But with riddles, you can use the room. As you hear other people's answers, you can start to, you can start to home in on it. Right. Even though you get the answer, it's still collaborative. Yeah.

But trivia is no fun because it's like you can't, you'll never figure it out. Yeah. What's the difference? You don't know it? Yeah. How would you define the difference between a riddle and like just trivia? An interesting answer. I think just that you either know it or you don't.

Yeah. Trivia, there's no amount of time that will get you to. You can't figure out trivia. Yeah. Exactly. Trivia is like, you never hear a riddle and you're like, oh, it's on the tip of my tongue. Yeah.

I know this. Sean Connery. I also think the interesting distinction between our show and other shows that like have riddles on it. Is our show is really, couldn't be less about the riddles. We do do riddles on the show, but we've had people be like, I listened to the show and all the riddles are bad and the people don't do very many of them and it's like, that's the show.

Yeah. Welcome to that show. Yeah. So if you're looking for like solid, you know, our chunk of just brain teasers, that ain't us, we like to have fun with the riddles that we are doing. There should be like a jeopardy, but for riddles where they only get through like one question every half hour. So it's just three people thinking about stuff in front of like a buzzer.

The host keeps going back to his lunch. They're just in a rage at the end. You just get to see them tear apart the studio. It's like the Stanford prison experiment. Yeah. It's just like, all right, Jeff, you're on the board with $18 and that's all the time we have. Fuck you.

Credit. I pretty can say a lot of money doing that. A ton of money. Sweet. Well, hey riddle riddle. If you want some more riddles, thank you guys for letting us play it long. Let's try to answer another classic if I were you question before we have to head out of here.

Aaron, do you have a fake guy's name for this man? John Patrick Cohen. God damn it. John Patrick Cohen. Yes. Hammer. Hammer. Hammer.

Right. Hey dudes, love the show. Wanted to say how inspiring it is to see Jake stay so humble after winning over 380 golden mics. Thank you. That's awesome. Congratulations by the way. I know this, but Jake gives him or gives the funniest podcaster of our podcast an award

at the end of every episode called the golden mic. He's won every, correct me if I'm wrong, but you won every single episode. I've not won every single episode. Except for one where I co-hosted with somebody else. They got the golden mic and then for the other 380 episodes, instead of me not receiving any award, he's given out a award called the golden turdy. It's not golden. The turdy award.

It's not golden. The turdy award for shitty podcasting and I've won that every single time. Congratulations. Yeah. I mean, that's an unprecedented run. Have you given it out for this episode? I won the golden mic. There's no turdy yet.

Oh, I can still win. So we're all, you've got your name on the whiteboard and we're all competing for last place at this point. Very nice. Okay. We're all competing to not get the turdy. Sure, sure. I'll step it up.

But you've already won the golden mic. I think I won the golden mic just for solving the riddle. The cabin won. The cabin won. Yeah. Okay. I like fucking nailed that. I barely got a hint.

Right. I barely got a hint. He said you guys were both on this type of cabin earlier this weekend. I assume he flew. Did you fly? Yeah, that's correct. Yeah. Totally.

Totally. He walked me to the edge, but I jumped. That takes courage. I was brave enough. That's what I consider edging is to watch the ladies. Riddle edging. It's the precipice of you. That's really funny.

That's almost golden mic worthy. Oh, damn it. Well, you've given out multiple golden mics before. It would almost be nice for you to give. Can I get a golden mic? Yeah. I'll give you a golden mic. Now there's a second golden mic called the golden mic.

It's a golden copy of Travolta's Michael. Is that the one where he learns Portuguese in 15 minutes? No, that's phenomenon. All right. And anyway. You're turning into turdy. That would be about your TED Talk. No quicker way to get there than to talk about phenomena.

My TED Talk is going to be about phenomenon versus Michael. Phenomenon. So this is this guy's problem. My girlfriend of nine months wants me to shit in front of her. I have a huge problem with this as I still have never even farted around her. And don't plan on it anytime soon. Take him to the edge. When she uses the bathroom, she will leave the door wide open so she can continue to talk

to me. When I use the bathroom, I lock the door and leave the sink running so she can't hear my poops plop into the toilet. She thinks that farting and shitting with the door open are a sign of trust and commitment. I think it's actually very strange and pretty gross. Am I overreacting or should I just man up and leave a snail trail on the bedroom floor for her as a sign of my love? Namaste.

Love. John Patrick Cohen. I don't think he knows what a snail trail is. That's more than a snail. You definitely don't have to over deliver on this. She's already asking for a lot to give her more. It is too much. These are the two extremes of bathroom use.

Shitting with the door open so you can talk. And then there's the door locked plus sink running. Where do you guys land on that spectrum? I was going to gauge the room because I feel like I'm a door locked person, but I'm in no need to leave the sink running. I've been married almost a year and I still shut the door and run the sink. Lock it? I mean, she's not going to walk in.

Right. That's where the lock is a little extra. I guess that's where the trust comes. Well, you run the sink. I run the sink. I think there's something nice to keep in the room. The thing is, I've had girlfriends where we shit. We've had a lot of girlfriends where we shit in front of each other.

And I think it ruins the romance a little bit. It takes away the mystique. I like that there's this layer. What if she just thinks you're diary-ing in there? It's like you go in there and she just hears a faucet running water. She's like, whoa, Jake. Another nine-minute-long diarrhea sesh. Nice.

Erin, where do you land on the speckch? I'll pee in front of anyone at any time. Oh, that's true. I could pee in front of all of you guys, right? Yeah. Because it already sounds like a sink running. Yeah. Erin, you pee on Splash Mountain Saturday.

I don't need everyone to know that. It's fine. No, just everyone on our podcast or their podcast. And the listeners. I got so surprised that I got so wet on Splash Mountain that I peed. I got scared and was like, ugh. And then really peed too. I'm a little bit scared of how wet you are.

Yeah. Like a cat. I thought it would be this much water. And then fully released my pee too. So I was covered in my own pee and then also Splash Mountain water, which is probably also pee. Yeah. That's where Splash Mountain gets its water.

It was a dry run up until 1990. Were you wearing a bathing suit? Oh, I was just in regular clothes. Yeah. No further questions. But on the duty spectrum, you lock in, you run in the sink, you leave it in the open. Yeah, I lock.

My boyfriend is very open. Like it just farts constantly in front of me and doesn't care. But I don't know. I think, I think don't do it. I think especially don't like push someone's boundaries on what they feel comfortable. Yeah. That's the bigger question.

Like that, her being a little bit more aggressive of like, you have to do this, either be apathetic or don't care. Like, I don't know. Right. This, at this point, he's not the one being weird. Like shit in front of me. Yeah. Aaron, did you say either be apathetic or don't care?

Yeah, those are for the same thing. But. What word becomes apathetic when you add a letter to it? Yeah. I think, yeah, I think you just don't push anyone's boundary on that at all. Yeah. Don't, don't force someone into yours.

Yeah. But it's, it's interesting when you have somebody on like two completely polar ends of this. But he does point. Like it doesn't sound like he cares that she does it. Like she shits in front of him. Yeah. And he's like, it's not like he's saying, hey, how do I get

my girlfriend to close the door when she shits? He's just saying, I don't want to do the same thing. Yeah. So do you tell your lady friend, you know what, I don't feel comfortable or like, you know what, let's take a baby step. I won't lock the door. How about that? No, I say you're either not comfortable or you take it to

the other bookend where it's like you eat like 10 pieces of Nashville hot chicken and just like, be like, is this what you wanted? Yeah. And then like. She never wants. Yeah. It's not like immersion therapy.

It's either I don't want to go in the pool or I'm in the Marianas trench. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. When it comes to poop, don't try to change someone's mind. People have stuff from their whole lives. And that's your tattoo, right?

Yeah. It's on my face. That's my face tattoo. Yeah. I just don't think you should change someone's mind. If they don't like farts, then they don't like farts. Yeah. You fart in front of your boy?

No. Oh, only by accident. Recently I farted so loud that I woke both of us up. Whoa. And you guys weren't even sleeping. It was that loud. It made you fall asleep and wake up. They became born again Christians.

And also they were sleeping at their separate places. We joined the calls. Yeah. When you look, you got the moon and I'm looking at that same moon and I fart, you wake up. Dubs flying out of a tree. Farting, I think, is like intimacy. Yeah.

You're so open to farting, but you'll run the sink when you poop. I find that a little hip poop critical of you, actually. He did it. That's gotta be Golden Mike, where they're getting a no. I mean, you really are the doctor. What is a turdy? Yeah, that's an auto turdy.

What? You stepped in. No wonder I've won every single episode. But yeah, it's the same noise. The farting noise and the shitting noise is the same. One you'll do openly in front of her. Yeah. And one you'll mask.

It's hip poop critical. I agree. Can I say it? That's just what I do. It's usually not the same noise. It's the same. The noise? You need to shit when you're farting, my man.

Don't shit where you poop. Don't queef where you poop. Undefinitely. Definitely don't fart where you poop. I think my biggest issue with this is her argument, which is that pooping with the door open is a sign of trust and commitment, where I would argue like trust and commitment is like.

Trust that I'm shitting, right? You maybe have deeper issues if it's like, are you shitting in there? I want to see you shit. It's like. Once I had a guy who said he was shitting, he was fucking off in there. Like are you shitting or are you texting Veronica?

Like I think that there needs to be like a different conversation that happens at some stage here. Yeah. The trust issue. When we zoom out, it's an even bigger thing, which is like, what is trust in this relationship? Is it just keeping the door unlocked while you're shitting? I almost feel like she means to say intimacy.

Yeah. Because like it's such a private thing. Like let me in on all of your privacy, but I think privacy is a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. Privacy is nice. You guys holding in farts?

No. I've held in farts with, in relationships before and I think the relationships where I don't hold in farts are better relationships. Because you're not suffering from stomach issues. Yeah. Gas bloating. Holding in farts is a lie.

Can I make a bit of a lateral move? That's a great tattoo. I'll put it on my face. Holding in farts is a lie. Yeah. 9-Eleven was an inside fart. Ted Kennedy killed those farts. I want to make a lateral move.

In a public restroom, if there's like multiple stalls. So in an airport or something, do you, when you, if you poop, do you flush the toilet and then poop so that it masks it? Do you cough? Do you do any of that? No. I'm free for all. This is a bathroom.

I'm in a public bathroom. And if there's people in the stalls next to you, because I hear all, it's a cacophony of, it's like pet sounds in there. Like some people cough while they poop, so they think you can't hear it. Oh. Some people flush, go in immediately flush while they poop so that you just hear flushing instead of the poop.

No, I'm not, I don't care what strangers hear. I flush while I poop in a public bathroom, but it's, it's a courtesy flush. Okay. Yeah. It's, that's more about the smell. Yeah. Okay.

But I'm not trying to mask anything. Okay. When you say pet sounds, did you mean actual animal noises or the Beach Boys? The Beach Boys. Got it. I will say that if I'm in a public restroom and I have to shit, I will get self-conscious about like the sound that

that's going to make. So I will put in headphones. That's what I'm talking about. And if I put in headphones, I'm listening to, I can't hear it. I don't give a shit what's happening. I'll go fucking hog wild in there. I don't relate to this.

We don't do that in women's restrooms. We just listen to Celine Dion and great each other's hair. It's always couch-shitting in a public restroom. You should like fake a really important phone call. Yeah. She's like, no, I don't care. No, you just do it. You have to do it.

Buy, sell. Buy, sell. So much business. Well, who's that guy inside our training? So there's no, there's no in a women's restroom, public restroom. There's no sound? Shitticate? There's no shitticate?

No. There's no in a women's restroom. Yeah. Great shit fun, but that's a turdy. I'll be with friends in hell. I'm sure it's the exact same. Yeah, there's got to. I mean girls poop too, which is another t-shirt.

For now. But we should invest some money in that. Let me ask another like kind of lateral question on this though. If you're in a situation where someone like your significant other is taking a shower and it's one bathroom, like maybe it's a hotel, they're taking a shower and you really have to shit like it's an emergency. Are you holding it or are you going in while they're in the shower and shitting? Ooh, if it's a hotel, I might go to the lobby because there's a-

Fuck, I forgot about that. If it's at your house or a cabin. Yeah. Then I'll do it. I'll have to do it. Yeah. You got to do it. You got to do it.

Yeah. What am I going to do? Take a shit and a zip lock and freeze it so that she doesn't find out and then she'll find it like three weeks later. What is that? Oh, I was going to surprise you. I love instead of hiding it, you put it in the freezer. Yeah.

It's like, why is there shit in the bat? No, yeah. I like your hiding it. She won't smell it in the freezer and then she's like, what is this? It's like, oh, it's brownie batter. I was going to surprise you for your birthday. She's like, oh, can I have a little nibble? I really want to taste it.

Like, no, no, no. It's a surprise. What happens next? She throws it away and nothing happens. A friend of mine was talking about like, we were talking about growing up, you know, in the Midwest, I guess. And somebody was like, you know, when you take your shit stick and you break up like a big poop to make sure it flushes and everyone in the room was like, what?

You know, like, you know, every family has like a shit stick was like a stick you keep in the bathroom closet to like break up big poop so they flush and we're like, no, like, no. A shit stick. Yeah. What? And this kid, he grew up with a shit stick. Yeah.

And he thought it was like a Midwest thing and everyone. So he's like very like confidently in the room being like, we've all been there and everyone's like, no, you're disgusting. Yeah. That's a fun insult for someone calling them a shit stick. That's good. I wouldn't even break up my stick, my shit with you, you shit. All right.

Do we, do we, do we answer this question at all? Am I overreacting or should I just man up and leave a snail trail? So is he overreacting or should he man up? He's not overreacting. She should respect his boundaries. It's not about trust. It's about wanting some privacy. Yeah.

That's beautiful. This needs to be part of a larger conversation. That we should have. That we should all have. She should trust that he wants his privacy. There's a reason he wants to keep that behind closed doors. Yeah. So take that, John Patrick Cohen's girlfriend.

All right, sweet. We are out of time. Thank you guys so much for flying to LA just to do this show. Yeah. I guess you got a Disneyland trip out of it. Can we get our party validated or? We will talk offline with regards to that. One last time, it's Hey Riddle Riddle, name of your podcast.

Anything else you guys want to promote while you're here? Yeah. I didn't say a fake name, but I was going to say Mackenzie Palenta. It's pretty good. Mackenzie Palenta. We'll use it next episode. Thank you. You can also check out, I do another podcast called Hello from the Magic Tavern.

So check that out. Oh yeah. And if you're ever in Chicago, you can see the three of us play at I.O. Chicago in World News Tonight. Hell yeah. And you guys are part of Head Gum Live as well. Oh yeah. We'll be at Talia Hall.

That's Father's Day, I believe. Yes. Sunday Father's Day. Oh, very nice. Sunday Bloody Father's Day. Are you just reading my tank top? Yeah. Are you going to bring your daddies?

Yeah. No, I don't talk to my dad. Well, what a great way to end. He's a great guy. We just haven't caught up. That reminds me. I'll call him now. And if you two are now addicted to riddles, which I assume you are, please feel free

to come on our show anytime. I would love to come on. We would be thrilled. Maybe when we're in Chicago. Yeah. That would be amazing. Oh, please. That's a verbal contract.

All right. And can we do one quick thing? I'm handing each of you, Jake and Amir, a card. One of you is a doctor and one of you is a mafioso. Okay. And you just have to discern who is on the fucking doctor. You're ruining the game. You're not a doctor because I am.

I earned it by getting the card. How do you take that away from me? It would be great if they took that card and like framed it and put it above their desk, like... I'm a doctor. I never lie. Even during this game called lying to each other, I would never lie about being a doctor. I got an honorary doctor at Danny DeVito's house.

There's lying and then there's games. All right. Thanks so much for listening, everybody. If you have your own questions or theme song submissions, send them all down to... If I were to show it, gmail.com. The opening one was written by Zach. This closing one is written by Samuel. Thanks to Adal.

Adal. Adal. Adal. If you're saying that, I've been real sweet. You can call me Adal. Okay. Thanks to you guys for coming on the show. See you next week.

Next week, it's time we should talk about our third roommate. She's like, wait, what? He's like, I live with someone named General Cluddliness. I don't know what to do. I need some help from two Jews. They'll help you with your life. But no hooks, but all right. I'm looking to see some cheese.

But these girls keep ghosting me. She's stealing all my thumbs. Should I tell her about the broken condom? I don't know what to do. I need some help from two Jews. They'll help you with your life. With no hooks, but all right. You did a really good job.

I don't know why you're upset.