If I Were You - 4: Cheeseburger

Episode Date: May 27, 2013

In this episode we discuss happiness, breaking up, and what heaven is like.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

If I were you, let me tell you what I'd do. I'd listen to these two juice. Tell you what they'd do if they were you. Thanks, Christian Kerr. Very nice, folksy. This is If I Were You, the only advice podcast on the internet, hosted by us. I'm Amir. And I'm Jake. Yeah, and we are still gathering, collecting submissions for our intro theme. We're trying to do a new one every episode, so keep them coming. Keep them coming. Some of them have been really great. Other ones have been truly awful. Yeah, so don't worry. If you wrote an awful one, we are writing you a scathing email as we speak. Also, if you wrote an awful one, don't worry. Somebody has submitted one worse than the one you've recorded. Right, and next week we're going to have an awful theme song episode. We just, we shame the people with no musical talent who tried to make something for free for us.

Yeah, how dare you show effort. That's the first part of failure. Thanks for your support, loser. No, thanks. Become a lawyer. So as always, we're going to be answering your questions. These are real questions from real people that were submitted to us via email at ifirushowatgmail.com. You can also listen to the podcast at ifirushow.com. Oh my God. We didn't get a single freaking email. Holy shit, we just refreshed the page and yeah, nothing. Just ten awful songs and no questions.

We started recording without checking the email. That's how haphazard we are. God damn it. No, don't worry. We did. We did get a lot of good questions. And let's start. Let's start with the first one. How about that? What a good place to start. Yeah, why not? Okay, this one is from once again, making up a name to preserve your anonymity. This one's from Jamie. I've been feeling pretty guilty about what I've been doing to a girl who likes me. I know that this girl is into me because she has told me that she is. That's a good sign.

And has asked if I wanted to date her and when she did, I told her I thought she was really great, but I couldn't be where she is right now because I have a lot going on, which is a lie. I just kind of like the fact that she's attracted to me. Am I a dick? That question was submitted by me, right? Yeah. This is your alter ego, Jamie. Holy shit, buddy. I don't have any advice for you because I have the same problem. Which is what? We should get a drink, man. Let's talk.

He beats the shit out of you. You treat girls badly, dude. This is a trap. You're done. Wait, what is this problem that you speak of? Well, it seems like you only like the thrill of the chase and you like feeling wanted by somebody, but you are too much of a dick, yeah, to actually commit to anybody or go after somebody that you really like. So what's the mature thing to do and what's the immature thing that you do-do?

The... Do-do. What's the immature thing? Oh, Jesus Christ, you're drooling. So I guess the right thing to do is not string somebody along, get over yourself and don't have an ego that needs to be stroked by somebody liking you when you don't like them back. She's a human being, too. But don't think I'm talking down to you because what I do is just collect as many people as I can who like me

so I can feel good about myself. Like a human collecting Pokemon cards. I just take these people's souls and add them to fuel my fire. Yeah, so you feel...it's kind of like eating a shitload of french fries. It feels really good while you're doing it. And then you have like these really low moments where you're like, I am a monster. I'm filled with salt. I guess in the grander scheme of things, it's just like the idea of instant gratification versus long-term personal growth.

Right, yeah. And back to french fries. Super specifically sweet potato fries. So would you say this is the same thing as eating junk food or smoking cigarettes? Yeah, because it's the instant gratification. It's like, this is great. I'm happy right now. But then later on you feel shitty. And overall it's an unhealthy way to live.

But if you live unhealthy until you die, would you say you've done a good job or you consider yourself a failure? You live on the edge the entire time. That's the only way to live. So yeah, I'm always on the precipice of disaster. Total self-destruction. I'd rather live 30 years like me than 60 years like you, dad. So what can you do to, you know, mature as a human? You've told me. I got no advice for this guy. We wrote this email together.

What about the personal mantra thing? Oh yeah, you know, I started doing this thing. My sister is a very good... All my sisters are great people. One of them specifically told me... He's the best. I ranked him right here. Don't read that. That was for us to look at.

I don't know why we did that sick, sick exercise. So one of them told me to do a... What are those things called? Daily affirmation. Daily affirmation about love. And I've been doing it for the past few weeks. Nothing's changed yet, but I think it's sort of cementing itself in my brain. Everybody should have their own so you can make up your own.

Maybe say it every morning to remind yourself what you really want over your lifetime versus what you kind of want for that day. It's hard to say, okay, I'm going to not eat this thing or do this thing or smoke this thing that I want right now because it gives you instant pleasure for sacrificing something that you think will come in the future. The hope of being a better person. But I guess you have to place your values on more of a long term arc than the current. Well, this is you.

I'm hyper-logical. I'm hyper-aware. I'm maybe too much so that I'm starving myself. I'm not getting... I skip french fries. I'm the kind of guy that gets salad on the side of a turkey burger instead of fries on the side of a cheeseburger. That's what I had for dinner last night. And I look at you and I'm like, God, I envy you for that moment. But then the meal's over and then you're like, oh, we're both full

and then you can go on to envying me. Yeah, it's true. So your envy lasts about 20 minutes while I devour a burger and mine lasts for the rest of the night when you happily go home with your girlfriend and go to bed without feeling disgusting. Wake up and take a really nice, solid, nice poop. Yeah. That's very regular.

It's a very nice poop. Yeah. I actually saw this documentary about happiness where it said that the external... Getting happiness from external factors like value and money fleets very instantly but the internal value of happiness of being a better person and helping others is what lasts for a longer time. Shit. We gotta stop this podcast.

I need to go volunteer. At a cheeseburger festival. Yeah, I heard there's a ton of hot chick volunteers there at that cheeseburger festival. Let's get to some sillier questions because I didn't like the way that turned out. Right, we're both crying a little bit. We're not good writing it actually. Uh-oh, we're holding hands. This is too real.

Okay, next question from Rob. Hey guys, long time listener, first time writer. My girlfriend is still really close to her ex. Whenever I tell her that I don't feel comfortable with him being in her life, she gets really offended and says things like, Do you not trust me? I trust her, I just don't trust him. He's been at the center of most of our relationship problems

and I don't think it's healthy for her to be friends with him. What should I do? Oh no. I just like, it sucks because they live together still. And I want her to move out. My girlfriend is currently on a date with her ex-boyfriend. Am I a D-bag for not wanting that? The dude's just always on our couch.

Holding my girlfriend's hand, making out with her and shit. It's like, whoa, I trust you. I don't trust him to stop kissing you. I don't think it's even about trust. I'm not like, maybe you don't have to think she's going to hook up with him, but it's just, if it makes you uneasy, if it's not something you like thinking about them doing, then... You can request for her to stop?

Yeah, I think that's all you got to do. I think you just make your feelings very known and if she doesn't care enough to change her actions to make you feel better, then you should rethink your relationship entirely. So you think maybe she likes her ex-boyfriend. If she chooses her ex-boyfriend instead of him, then she's actually has stronger feelings for her ex-boyfriend? Well, I think even if she doesn't have strong feelings for her ex-boyfriend,

I think if the person you're in love with tells you that they feel a certain way and you do nothing to correct it and make them feel better, then you don't care about that person enough. So you think this person, Rob, should just tell his girlfriend flat out, I don't feel comfortable with this and I think you should stop. It's not about trust, I just don't like it. I always think it's funny where a guy is dating a girl and she cheats on him with another guy,

and then the guy gets pissed at the other guy and not the girlfriend. That's true, what does that guy have? Sorry man, I don't know your boyfriend, but I respect the shit out of him. How dare you put my girlfriend under this magical spell, you jerk. It's true. She had no say in this matter, you ass. I don't know, I've never punched another person in the face before, so what do I know? Damn right.

I've only been punched in the face actually. 30 times. I think I've just been that guy, your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend in this situation. Right. Yeah, I don't know, I feel like you gotta tell her. And when you're hanging out with the girlfriend who has a boyfriend, do you feel guilty? No, I don't feel anything. Right.

But that's all the time. If you have to understand, I never feel anything. So all the advice you're getting is from a hollow nothing man. How does that make you feel? Jake is currently eating a cheeseburger. With a waitress on my lap. Wearing a shirt that says YOLO. Drake, Drake.

Alright, next question. This one's from Tyrion. Tyrion. Tyrion, the criterion collection. I have a girlfriend, but I think I want to be single. Things are going smoothly and she has no idea I'm having doubts. Is it better to attempt to distance myself to give her an idea or just to be straight up and come out honestly with her and tell her I want to break up?

Opposite advice time? Yeah. Opposite advice. Okay, so this is what you should winky face do. You should string. If you don't like this girl right now, it will get better. You'll get more attracted to her in the future. Right, string her along.

String her along. Just until you start to feel the feelings coming back. Exactly. And they will come back. Of course. Feelings always come back. You fall out of love with someone and then one day, magically, you'll fall back in love with them. You don't respect her enough to tell her the truth.

I mean, who respects a girl that you love? I'm doing air quotes right now. I mean, don't tell her the truth. String her along. Just keep on. Oh, you know what? Distance yourself. Don't even wait.

Just act like an asshole. You act like an asshole. She'll leave you. Then you don't have to do the hard and annoying thing of breaking up with somebody. When she breaks you, you can be like the bigger man and be like, dude, I totally understand. I've been kind of a jerk and I think I actually kind of agree that maybe we should break up. Yeah, you know, and then also you get that sympathy from all your friends and other girls. You go to a bar and you look all sad like, oh, he just got his heart broken.

His girlfriend dumped him. Yeah, and they don't know that you were just a jerk to her for so long that she had to break up with you. So yeah, be honest with your girlfriend and tell her about the feelings that you're having. Maybe she's having similar ones and you guys can talk about it or maybe it's time to end the relationship. This is also sort of the same theme of instant gratification versus long-term happiness. Like, it's hard to break up with someone. It's hard to sit someone down and be like, I just don't think I like you that much anymore. Of course, but if you're worried about hurting her, definitely the thing that hurts more is to like

stay in a relationship for months longer than you should. Have somebody you love just start to be a different bad person and then have to break up with them. That might not hurt as much as breaking up. Like, let's say breaking up is 100 out of 100 and this is only like a 20 out of 100, but a 20 out of 100 for 100 days in a row is still a 2,000. Yeah, I mean, you're losing me with the math, but I'm sure it speaks to some of these nerds listening to the podcast. Think about it like this. I mean, you don't want to break up with her because it's really hard instead. So you are going to be an asshole and make her break up with you, make her do the hard thing.

Yeah. Fuck off, Tyrion. Be a man. I'm shouting at myself in a mirror right now. Be a man. Be a man. Still eating French fries. Always. You just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. It's incredibly helpful.

Therapy has helped millions of people over thousands of years. So give therapy a try. It can give you the tools to find a more balanced life. I've tried therapy. It's been very helpful. So you can find that balance better with better help. All you got to do is go to betterhelp.com if I were you. You do that today.

You can get 10% off your first month. So the prices are already affordable because you're not paying rent for a building somewhere that you have to drive to and wait in a waiting room. This is done entirely online, but you're still getting professional licensed help and it's extra affordable. That's betterhelp.com if I were you. Check him out. Thanks, Better Help. Wow. For years and years and years, we've been ranting and raving about Squarespace because it's the best way for dummies like me and potentially you that don't necessarily know how to code or design to create a professional looking website.

So if you're building an online portfolio for yourself or a loved one or you want to sell stuff online, you can do an online store. They have 24 seven live customer support email campaigns data. You can even purchase a domain name through Squarespace. For example, I didn't even look this up, but there's no way you can't buy a mere Blumenfeld is a good dude.com. I bet that's available and you can have it today and you can buy it through Squarespace and build an awesome website dedicated to me or I guess dedicated to anyone else in your life. Maybe you want to give somebody a gift this season, a summer birthday coming up. Who doesn't want a website? So the best way to do that is to go to Squarespace.com slash if I were you for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, just use that offer code if I were you to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain again, Squarespace.com slash if I were you free trial. Everything looks good. Let's launch it. Just use that offer code if I were you to save 10% off that first purchase. Thank you. Squarespace. All right. Next question.

Help. I told my. That's it. Holy shit. Let's see. Give us your number. We were going to call 911 for you. Well, it sort of does go in that dark route.

It ends with help. I told my school counselor that I wanted to kill myself last week as a joke and now they want me to come in for a weekly suicide watch checkups. But really, I was just being dramatic and I don't need their help. How do I get out of it without everyone thinking I'm suicidal? Jesus Christ. That is pitch black. We should have a segment on the show where we bring somebody in just so we can slap them across the face. Are you surprised that you got in trouble after making a suicide joke to a school counselor?

Dude, he was kidding. Let's call this. Let's call the counselor. Okay. You need to learn how to do your job because some people that say they're going to kill themselves are being sarcastic. Yeah. Not everyone who says it's going to kill himself actually does it. Just a few of them do.

Take a chill pill. Jesus. You need to relax. Mr. Thompson. I think the school counselor might be just doing his job because every. Oh, did we give this person a name? Let's call him John Snow. John Snow.

Cool. So John, your school counselor is doing exactly what he's supposed to do. You're supposed to look for the signs, and one of the signs is joking about being suicidal. Right. So your counselor is doing his job or her job of watching out for at-risk kids, and you are not doing your job by fucking with your counselor. Yeah. If you were kidding, you shouldn't have kid, and this is your punishment. And if you're not kidding, and you were just being overly dramatic, but you are kind of sad, then it's good to see a counselor anyway.

Totally. So whether or not you're suicidal, the fact that you're, you know, even making jokes about it may be a sign that you should be talking to someone like an adult or two man children on a podcast like us. I don't know what this professional can offer that is any more valid than what we have to say. You're wearing flannel pants and a muscle shirt right now, and you're being like, you look like somebody who wants to kill themselves. I look like someone who killed themselves last week. Emotionally, I've given up. Wow. Yeah, we really let that sink in, huh?

I wanted you to feel it. All right. Next question. Dear Jake and Amir, I've started seeing this girl. She's really nice and everything, but I recently found out she's a virgin and plans on saving herself for marriage. Whoa, yeah. That's called the get out of the relationship buzzer. Ditch the prude.

Find a nude. Find a nude? I don't know. It was the best rhyme I could think of. Love the cuff. That is pretty good. But how are you supposed to find a nude? I don't know.

I guess ditch a normal woman and hang out with a stripper is a different way to, a non rhyming way of saying what you just did. I apologize. You can finish the question. I feel awful about myself. Ditch the prude and find a nude. That's what this episode is called. To me, a physical attraction is important in two relationships. So should I stop seeing her or are there ways to be intimate without going past quote unquote second base?

So saving yourself for marriage, you can't even go to third base with this girl. Is he asking if he's allowed to get a blow job? You should ask her. I can take blow jays till marriage. It's tough because it feels like you're being shallow. You're like, oh, if I, oh, so if you can't sleep with me, you don't want to be with me. No, no, no. It's not about that, but it is kind of about that.

It's entirely about that. Yeah. I mean, you're talking about shallow. Jesus. I've been shallow this entire podcast. Why stop now? I think if you, I mean, a physical, physical aspects of a relationship are very important to some people. And if it's important to you, then you're with the wrong person.

Isn't it important to everybody? What percentage, like if, if the relationship is a pie chart, how important is physical versus emotional and like personality attraction? I imagine it's different. It's a different chart for a lot of different people. Maybe for this girl, it's, that's a very, well, she doesn't know yet, but I don't know. Yeah. I think it starts the first thing, like when you first meet someone, it might be like 100% physical, 0% emotional. And then over time, the emotional personality slice grows and grows and grows.

As people get uglier and uglier and uglier, you're left with just the human shell and the personality. Wow. But how do you know is she like has all messed up? Pussy is on shit, man. Like I ain't trying to take her home on our wedding night and be like, oh, damn. Oh, no. What I do? Seriously though, how are those daily affirmations coming?

Um, what? That's actually what you repeat to yourself every morning. Dear Jake, how do I know if her pussy is not going to be like, oh, no, what did I do? You deserve love. I don't deserve love. Um, yeah, I really, I think if I were you, I would probably get out of the relationship. I mean, who, tell marriage that's years for some people. Well, that's why a lot of these people who are saving themselves for marriage rush into marriage, maybe.

Right. That's true. Because they want to get to the physical part. Maybe if they were able to have sex that- You hear that? Pope, whatever your name is. It's just the Pope's idea. That's the only reason it's still a rule.

The Pope. Why'd you do that, man? If only the Pope changed his mind. And then there's the idea that girls are like trying to like find their way around it, like loopholes. Right, like anal sex and blowjobs. Yeah, yeah. I definitely feel like the Pope is not, he's not advocating anal sex and blowjobs. Well, their theory is that God thinks it's okay.

Anal sex is okay? Maybe, yeah. God thinks that? God's like only into anal sex. Like, dude, you hit that? You put it in the butt? Alright, you can still go to heaven. Hashtag dope.

You get to go to special heaven where it's just- It's my special club in heaven. It's all anal sex all day. It's situated on the top of an enormous asshole. The ground is mushy. It looks like hell to everybody else who doesn't like anal sex. But to you, it's the depraved little slice of utopia. Heaven and hell are the same thing.

Whether or not you like living on a giant sphincter. Oh, God. Put that on a bumper sticker. Absolutely not. So, yeah, I guess if I were you, I would also- If physical attraction is important to you and it seems like it is, then this certain situation isn't working out. Also, she seems very religious and you don't seem very religious. Right, I mean, it's a-

It's an indicator of a bigger problem beyond just the sex. Right, her life views are different. It's not like, oh, well, I like this girl, but I can't fuck her. It's like, I like this girl and she has a different outlook and way of life than me. Right, exactly. So, dump the prude and hook up with a nude. Hell yeah! Next question.

Let's remind people where they can submit questions to. Ooh, that's why you're here, man. All right, next question. Really, that's the only reason. And that's why I'm leaving. Okay. Hi, Dad. I'm your insult to me again.

I look to the chair because you've gained so much weight eating cheeseburger and fries. I really resent this line of accusations. What do you think you're going to eat for lunch today? Well, I had a cheeseburger and french fries last night. Today, since I'm feeling awful, I think I'll have a salad, actually. Oh, so you're one of those people that vacillates back and forth between the two. Yeah, that's what the daily app for me. I vacillated back and forth between, oh my god, everything.

My entire life is a vacillation. Well, you're getting your wisdom teeth out tomorrow. You should eat as much solid food as you can. Oh, that's true. You're going to be on an all-liquid diet for a couple of days. Yeah, and I'm sorry. Just imagine that. What?

I just almost made a terrible joke and I'm glad I stopped myself. Say, maybe we'll edit it out. 100% you won't do that for me, so moving right along. Okay, next question. Do we remind people where to send the questions? Nope, you're literally worthless now. And he's finally said it. All these questions are coming to us from real people and sending to us, oh my god.

Real people who are sending us the questions, you know what, fuck it. We tried and failed, we have to move on, we can't give you the email address. People wonder why this podcast is only half an hour long. It's because we can't, or mainly I can't speak coherently for longer than 20 minutes at a time. You can't speak coherently at all. Yeah, it's not a good thing. You can send us your emails if I were you show at gmail.com. Yes.

We get so many great questions, and if we don't say, if we're going to try to answer your question, don't be offended. It's not personal. We just answer the questions that we think we can provide a humorous answer to. Yeah. Speaking of which, here's our next question. It comes from Arya. Ooh, Arya, I like that name. Here's my problem.

My friend is 230 pounds. I, on the other hand, am very petite. So when we go out partying, I wear revealing clothing, and so then she thinks it's okay for her to do the same. I want to tell her she's embarrassing herself, but I don't know how. How do I tell her that the clothes that she wears aren't flattering without, aren't flattering without straight out telling her that she's fat? I still want her to come out and party with me. No, your problem is that you're a jerk. And you're awesome.

Revealing clothing, partying. You're petite. Can we hang out? Can I string you along for two months and then be estranged from you for the rest of my life, please? You know, you're not being very fair to this girl. Can you imagine being a petite lady wearing revealing clothes, and you have a 230-pound lady friend, which is not morbidly obese, but overweight scientifically? I think that might be morbidly obese. And she's wearing revealing clothing, too.

And maybe you don't, you're not offended by it, but you see that it's not doing her any favors in the social scene. Right. I think, well... Maybe the lesson here is that you shouldn't be wearing revealing clothing either. If she follows your example. But I wouldn't want to advocate against anybody, you know, not doing them. I think you gotta, you do you, and let her do her. If she's okay with all the negative attention she gets, then you should be, too.

Yeah, just, would you say love yourself is a good way to live? Are you asking me? No, I was talking to myself. I think the answer is no. I hate myself. Cool. I hate myself, too. But is there a gentle and friendly way to tell her that she's wearing two...

Let's say the weight wasn't an issue. Is there a friendly way to tell someone that she's wearing two revealing of clothing? I'm just a big fan of not having, you know, that kind of uncomfortable conversation where I think you can steer her life in a different direction. Like if you went shopping with her, you know, like you go say, hey, let's go shopping. She tries on something that she doesn't look bad in. You say, I really like that. I would wear that out on Friday or whatever. Right.

I wouldn't wear what I wear because it's a small and you're an extra, extra, extra hard. I wouldn't say anything like that. The end. I'm trying to look at how much time. I think we have time for one more question. Uno más. Uno más. Okay.

Here's a good one. I think it's a good one. You know what? I know it's a good one. It's the best question yet. This one comes from Cersei? Cersei. Cersei.

This is Cersei, her name. Hi, I'm a female in high school and I have, I have to apply to colleges in the summer. I have had my mind made up for a couple of years that I'm going to school for engineering and all the schools I've looked at are mainly engineering schools. All of a sudden, I feel like I don't want to be an engineer anymore. I told my parents and they got mad. I know it's too late to change my mind now and I don't even know what I'd rather do, but I feel like this is going to be the biggest regret in my life.

Wow. Holy shit. I guarantee no decision you make before the age of 18 will be the biggest anything in your life. I also promise you it's not too late to change your mind. Holy shit. If I, if I didn't change my mind and what I wanted to do when I was 18, I would actually be doing exactly what I am doing right now. And it would be the biggest regret of your life.

And it is. Yeah. Before college, this is, and even through college and even slightly after college is the time in your life where you're... And even after that, you're allowed to change your mind, do whatever you want. Exactly. But it's not, yeah, it's not, if you're already feeling this is going to be the biggest regret of your life, do you actually don't want to go to engineering school anymore?

Or is there some other pressure that you're feeling like you don't think you'll succeed at engineering school? Because if it's that, you absolutely won't. Yeah. You're writing into a podcast. Yeah, certainly nobody that does that is good at engineering anything. You, I just, this is a little mantra. Say it with me, okay?

Okay. Fuck you, mom and dad, okay? I want everybody that's listening to the podcast right now to repeat that. No, no. Driving in your car, you're riding on the subway, you're sitting in your computer at work. All right, just one, two, three with me. Fuck you, mom and dad. Saying it into the abyss while you're in a car with your mom.

What are you listening to? This is amazing. I love this podcast. I too hate my mother, your grandmother. I think it's not too late to change your mind. You're young, you should do what you're passionate about. Even if you don't know what it is yet, you should go to school with a clean slate, like figure out something that you do want to do.

I promise you, you will change your mind when you find out what that thing is too. Right, exactly. Nobody at age 18 knew what they were going to do and stuck with it for the rest of their life, but it's hard to hear that you're young because whenever you're hearing something, it's always the oldest you've ever been. I don't even think when I was 18, our jobs existed. No. Like, web series makers, guys.

I forgot that's what our jobs were. It says it on my business card. Web series makers. I scrolled it on the back of a TGI Fridays card. Guys, question mark. Question mark, question mark, exclamation point. So much like the lady before this, you're saying, do whatever you want. Yes.

I almost feel like that's almost always my advice, except for do whatever you want, unless what you want makes you a bad person, then try to change. So as long as it's not negatively affecting anybody else. Yeah. But maybe try engineering school. Then if you don't like it, then you can change your mind. Or go to a school that has a good engineering program and good something else. Oh, that's good.

So don't go to a school that's just engineering. Open your options. Just a little bit. The school I went to had like a great engineering school, but it also had a great other types of school. And now you want to tell everybody where it was? Okay, it was Yale. Big freaking deal.

I went to Yale. Holy shit, you're a liar. All right, I think that's it. I think that's our half hour for the week. That is our half hour for the week. What do you, how do you want to end it? What do you want to do? I don't want to end it.

What? This is insane. Another half hour. Here we go. Yes. Thank you so much for continuing to listen to our podcast, sending emails in. We're reading all the tweets and Facebook posts and everything.

And it warms our hearts. It really does. Thank you guys. And actually, why don't we end it with the old Stony song? Yeah, we like this song a lot. So we're going to end it with one of our favorite theme songs from Stony. You can listen to his stuff at StephComedy on YouTube. Later, everybody.

Later. If I were you. If I were you. If I were you. If I were you. I'll tell you what I would do. If only I were you. Show.com.

If I were you, show at Gmail.com.