If I Were You - 440: Sugar Father

Episode Date: June 23, 2020

In this episode we discuss cheating, masks, and accepting cash from strangers.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Muses Hysteria and Knights of Sidonia Kids by MGMC and Unchained Melody Passion Fruit by Drake Welcome to the Black Parade Lazarus by Maui Small Town Boy by Bronski Bates If I were you, the podcast

They'll spend 30 minutes thinking of some lyrics If I were you, the podcast They've got music knowledge some say heretic college Russian roulette jumps away Disciples dirty harry Good night Sega, enter Sandra Apele

Eve Pro Pro Red Bone Lithium Fathlin' Pompeii Earth Song Iris Baggy May Reptilia by The Strokes Rappers delight And the kids aren't alright Houdini the lazy son

What's up, bye? Four non-bloods Not now and Josie Stockholm Syndrome, dumb wait Adam's Song, Wendy Cliff Dysentery Gary If I were you, the podcast They'll spend 30 minutes

thinking of some lyrics If I were you, the podcast They've got music knowledge some say heretic college Yeah Nice, that was Leonard or Luke or something Anyway, this is If I Were You

The Advice Show We're hosting a new podcast today Don't just gloss over That guy put in so much time and effort over We dicked around for 30 minutes I said thank you And it was honestly trash

It was bad and then somebody Spent the time and the effort To turn it around and make it a good thing Nice, good on ya, thank you Thank you It was a whole No, I was saying that it was It was pretty good

Explain what it was That was really impressive It was like, what was it? Your asshole You're being a shit man You're being a big shit Alright, if you joined us late Last week, Jake and I

Accidentally spent half of the show Coming up with songs In which the title doesn't exist In the lyrics of the song For example, Bohemian Rhapsody Famous song, but they never say that We spent half an hour coming up with songs We sort of thought of two

And then spent 20 minutes Not being able to think of another one Yeah, we were more Paralyzed with the thought Experiment that we had Yeah, the guy mentioned Pompey By Bastille in this one And our buddy Kyle

From Bastille In Bastille Listened to the podcast Oops I feel bad Yeah, oops, definitely Definitely So Luke writes that he was inspired

To write this after listening To our most recent episodes At the time of writing About the songs with titles That aren't in the song So here in that song Is 40 song titles that aren't In the songs crammed into one theme song

Very cool Holy shit He says he doesn't have anything to plug So please just shout out my local Football soccer team Middlesboro FC And ask them to sign Johnny House into a long deal

Because he's essentially Middlesboro's LeBron James right now So if you guys who are running that Football club are listening Sign him to a long-term deal, I guess You could really tell that that dude Was a Middlesboro fan From the podcast, couldn't you?

Or from the song? Yeah, usually when British people sing It's like I can't quite recognize their accent But that was, he was singing in a Noticeably British accent Which is hard to pull off Which I think Wait, sorry, one second, hold on

I was gonna say, he sent us a list of songs By the way, seven of them are Blink 182 So that's kind of on you, right? Yeah, definitely I should have known that dysentery Gary There's some other ones There's some other songs Adam's song

Yeah, that one I should have That one I also should have I think, did I mention going away to college? And Untitled, okay? Yeah, and like, didn't I say like Blink 182, Blink 182 does that a lot And you're like, I don't think they do it with any song I didn't say that, did I?

What's Josie? Josie's not in the song Josie? Yeah, interesting actually Because Josie, no wait, Josie Oh, you know what? There's the song Josie, I think That's like, yeah, my girlfriend And I don't think he ever says Josie Then the Blink 182 song called

Online Songs Which the first lyric is, Josie You're my source of something Frustration Interesting, so Josie exists But it's a line in a different song Yeah, very cool And she brings him Mexican food from

Sombreros just because Yeah, that's cool So she just shows up with a fucking enchilada Even though he already had He arrived having had And they just like, yeah, here's a burrito ball From Sombreros just because And he likes that about Josie

But he never says her name in the song Yeah, the other thing that she does Is she stays up late watching Vacation Well, he's like around And he goes and will just be at her house And that's good He knows that everything's gonna be fine Just looking at where Middlesbrough F.C. is

Yeah It's definitely where you would think it was Based on his accent Which was so British that you couldn't Like, I feel like a London Like a Southern England accent disappears When you sing But then you can be so British

You can be so from the UK Like if you're north of York That's gonna bleed into the That's Sombreros That'll bleed into the song See, he's 300 miles northeast Of the entire UK He's floating in a little island

He's from the Isle of Man That's right, he has such a strong thick accent That's not accurate But I love that you're, I love that you're on a Google map A system of a down chop suey Is that the song that goes Isn't that song called Chop Suey? He mentions that in the song too

Yeah, that's a good one That's a good one And this is the last time We really have to stop talking about this But how did we not think of Welcome to the Black Parade And also does that count Because they do say Black Parade But not specifically Welcome to the Black Parade

Right, he said enjoying the Black Parade I feel like it does I'm gonna say it counts Because I don't want to detract at all In any way from the song Which I think took a lot of Which I just think he did a really good job So I'm not gonna

Monday morning quarterback that thing So thanks to Luke Pottage For those songs That song about 40 songs And go you smoggies That's the Middlesboro football clubs Nickname Smoggies

The mascot is based on Air pollution in the area The LA smog That's what you're dealing with At Riverside Stadium mate Yeah, I guess they're close to a lot of plastic Manufacturing facilities And it creates a thick haze in the air

Oh, that's a kick Ya smoggies I kind of like the LA smog For like an arena football team Or something like that That would be cool You know, there's gonna be some Well, first of all, the EPL came back

You saw that, right? Yeah, without an audience I saw their season is almost over And Liverpool's about to win it all Is this season just straight up almost over? They're not gonna play extra games or anything? No, they play... There's 20 clubs and they play

Against every team twice So there's like 38 games total And like a bunch of teams were in like the 33-34 games matches played And Liverpool had basically clinched it So they had to like bring everyone back To finish the season so they could properly win The Premier League

That's cool Well, I fucking love the Premier League I watched my Hotspur's play on Friday It was great I really miss sports I wonder if, since the season is basically over If like they're playing their practice players Or like they're actually still trying to win

As much as possible I don't know Harry Kane was playing He was playing, so... Good on him And no crowd? No crowd That's cool

Was it weird? Did they pipe in noise? They didn't pipe in noise But it's also like, I love... I just love soccer Because like the announcers were like Just sort of complaining that it didn't seem like Liverpool's hearts were in It's like, yeah, this isn't like up to snuff

Like they're not playing at a Premier League base right now Oh, that's good It's like talking shit I feel like that would never happen in like American football or basketball or baseball Like the announcers are like trying to amp you up Like don't change the channel You have to keep watching there's commercials coming

But with the EPL They're like, we don't care about commercials You're just watching it In America those news... The broadcasters would get fired at halftime If they were talking so disparagingly That's right Although I do hear a fair amount of complaining

From Jeff Van Gundy, NBA broadcaster About the officiating But he sort of also gets put on blast for that But that's neither here nor there Got it, yeah Alright, this is If I Were You, an advice podcast Recording on Monday, June 22nd, 2020 Okay

Your week was relatively uneventful Your back home, anything to report? You know, nothing major to report Back in New York City I guess things are opening up here Which is going to be fun I think I'm going to go and eat outside Interesting, a little outdoor restaurant action

Yeah, I think I'm ready for that Emotionally, I'm not I'm not going to Not eat outside At my favorite restaurant I'm going to see what's up I guess I'm going to do that on Friday or Saturday They're starting to do that in LA

Despite the fact that we've had record numbers Every single day, they're like We kind of already promised we'd open restaurants And yesterday was the worst day ever But hopefully people will Just socially distance themselves And wear a mask as much as possible I guess that seems weird

I'm going to say California Both, California is really high and LA is the biggest part So it's going up and they're just like We're going to just move forward with That's stupid, that's crazy At least in New York, the cases are Just consistently going down And we're only going to open if we hit these benchmarks

And we did And we in California said We're only open if we hit these benchmarks and we didn't And then they're like, shit, we kind of promised Ah, fuck Alright, it's open, but just try not to do it Oh god, the patio is kind of flowing with people Yeah, people are desperate to hang outside

It doesn't seem worth it to me Why do I want to eat a sandwich At a restaurant where a stranger is Making it and giving it to me Hovering over my table, wearing a mask or not Yeah, I think that California just never Or at least to me, it never had that Kind of like outdoor communal

Vibe, like when I lived there I You like went to your friend's house But you just didn't Socialize the same way that people do in New York So I've really missed that about New York Right, that's part of the perks Especially New York's summertime

Is just hanging out and eating outside Yeah, so I'm looking forward to that Let me know how that goes Yeah, I'll keep you posted I almost The place that I get coffee Is also a barbershop So it's been closed for a long time

And Today, since barbershops are allowed to open My coffee shop opened again It's exciting There was stories about A Hair dresser that didn't wear a mask that Infected 90 people

And then there were stories about hairdressers that wore a mask And then the client wore a mask And they didn't infect anybody And even though they had coronavirus So hopefully people are wearing masks While they're cutting hair Yeah, when I walked in today to get coffee Everyone's wearing a mask

In New York City That for some reason Like mask wearing is now like A sign of being liberal Which it shouldn't be It should just be like not normal Yeah But at least everyone that lives in

This area in Brooklyn is Even if they don't think that it's real Science, they don't like Trump So they'll put the mask on That's nice. Have you gotten a good mask? I'm still in the market for like A nice fashionable stylish comfortable mask I have

I like the mask that I got from this clothing company Called Sanctuary Do you have it on you? Yeah, I have it out I mean not on me this second It's in the hallway Is it like a one piece? What's the string situation? So it's like a football helmet

With a cone Like those dog cones Where you can't scratch yourself A lampshade, yeah A football helmet with a lampshade underneath Yeah, and it's so Like It's really really dark so you can't see out of it

But inside it's a really really bright Light so it burns you So you're blinded but you also can't see anything By the night And that's from Sanctuary You said? No, it's a light, it's a single It's like

It kind of looks like those like Masks, you know those like blue ones So just like Thin rubber behind the ears A very light face covering And then there's a wire The wire for the nose bridge It's like so light that I

Don't know if it's that effective But It's Man, it's hard to breathe, it's hot Yeah Especially it's already muggy And that's when outside of the mask What's going on inside of a mask

It's going to be bad, I mean When I was in Connecticut for Two weeks it was a lot easier because you just Don't see people very much There's so much less people so you don't have to wear the mask But New York, you can't like Walk with your mask And then put it on if you see someone coming

Constantly, you're passing by people Yeah Did you see the video of the guy who Walked a really long time wearing a mask and we took it off He had like algae growing on his teeth He almost looked like he was becoming a plant Like it created like a new fungal ecosystem Because it was so sweltering in there

And like a bunch of like new species of Mosquito like flew out of his mouth because of that Yeah, so like we have to think about the Problems that the masks are causing, not just Preventing, everybody's going to have swamp mouth Swamp ass with a swamp mouth all summer I'll wear A mask over my ass if it means

I don't have swamp ass Because I have like a super swampy Ass, ass is And then if I'm also wearing a diaper Mask or some sort of like Latex situation down there Because you know how I'll wear like a latex diaper So it doesn't

Get my underwear like super Moist and damp from my swamp ass So between the latex diaper that I'm Wearing and my anal mask It's like a whole different Shabazz down there And you do, you have like shit on your lips I don't know how you did that but you like

Burped a little poop somehow Yeah, so I'll burp Poop as well during the mask situation The latex thing Can you fucking imagine burping poop What? Yeah, I guess throw up, is that Yeah, comparable, so yeah I can imagine that

It's like Yeah Is it alright, you're pissed off or something about it Well, one of us isn't allowed to have any good Ideas and the other one just gets to steam roll the entire Good ideas Good ideas, what's your good idea To burp poop, that's not an idea

That's a malty To wax on the topic, to just chat about it But you don't want to do that Yeah Yeah, I don't want to do that I don't want to talk about this shit And I'm even sorry for bringing up my swamp ass And my algae tea

To be like, you're disgusting Me, I was trying to talk about my swamp ass My swamp mouth Alright Let's try to get to a question before the break Okay, I mean this is getting ridiculous Here's a Here's a quickie

This is from a D&D player So you got a D&D name for us Uh, yeah Let's go with Jivalin, my one of the characters I played Jivalin Jivalin writes, I've been playing D&D for Two years now and started running my own game

So far everyone is loving it And our inexperienced players are even having fun However I noticed that one of the guys Who thinks he's a D&D god Has been fudging his stats And rolls a little bit His HP is way above what Mathematically looks like it should be

And his character stats are all plus three At level one which is highly unlikely And he's deliberately leaving out Some of the language on spells E.g. concentration components and damage Yeah None of the other players have noticed this But I'm picking up on it due to the fact

That the encounters I've built Have been running very seamlessly Because of the player's extra damage Or inability to be knocked out The rest of the party is asking us To make the encounters harder But based on their player level The encounters should be knocking a few down

But they all remain fine because of this fucking player So what do you think I should do to stop this I don't want to punish his character in game But that doesn't seem fair Like I'm targeting him But I think it would make him very uncomfortable If I called him out in person as well So what is he talking about?

Yeah, you read that Like you were making fun of the guy writing it But I think the guy writing it is Squarely in the right This player is actually being a little bit of a dickling I was sort of reading as though I was a nerdy Dungeon Master getting pissed at a separate player Yeah, you were

Because there's nothing nerdy about being a Dungeon Master It's actually a really selfless, honorable thing To do, you have to do a lot of work You have to do a lot of prep And you bring joy to your friends And your family and your comrades And your compatriots

You're being an asshole You could be nerdy and also selfless Oh my god I've never seen you this touched or upset All I did was go after this D&D guy a little bit By the way, nerdy isn't necessarily bad You said he's not nerdy He's actually selfless

He could be nerdy and selfless Okay Have you encountered a cheater amongst you? Have you ever wanted to be like I rolled a 18 When it was actually offscreen In our group I'm the cheater

I will add Hundreds to my damage I can't be brought down Because Especially now It was tougher before Because I was at the same table as everyone And I would roll

That's a nat 20 And someone would be like I see that you rolled a 3 But now I'm rolling offscreen On a zoom call So I'm just like, crit, crit, crit Jake rolled a saving throw That's actually a 40

And it's not even dice, right? You're just having a little sound effect I don't have dice, but it doesn't matter Because I know that I have to get a super high number So I just have these little marbles Here's them Do you hear that? So what did you roll there?

What is that, a stapler? So what I'm rolling right now is the cap To my swell bottle And what will you say? And then what did you say? What did you get there? That's a 5 plus 12 Okay

Let me add my modifier That's 22 22 You always look so guilty when you do it Because your eyes are really wide open And you're out blinking You look like a 6 year old who's clearly lying That's um

And by the way, this is just a really low state You're telling me that you're cheating So there's no stakes at all I can only imagine what it's like when you're actually cheating Holy shit, it's so obvious It's not fun It wouldn't be fun to cheat I think it's

Alright, so Here's what I'm trying to say I think that the solution here Is to not like publicly Call out your friend like during Like you don't have to outsmart him And you don't have to confront him But just like sidebar

You can sidebar with them, that's all you have to do You say, hey I feel like your character Is maybe a little overpowered Can I take a look at your stat sheet? As the DM, that's your right You're allowed to do that anytime you want Um, okay So maybe the dungeon master

Can start it off with a little Alright, ready to play and uh You don't have to cheat, it's more fun if you don't cheat Ready? Here we go The other thing you could do as a DM Is give some of the other characters Like magic items And give them some abilities and stuff

That feel like they Catch up to the cheater And then you can Put in like monsters that are harder For everyone So it's not just like Easy for this one guy and normal for everyone else Yeah, okay

Alright, sweet Maybe we can have Murph on and he can let us know What he does when you cheat, like is it like I was just kidding, I don't really cheat I'm like fucking really honorable That's cool man You're crying again That's right

Alright, let's take a break And then we'll have a look at some of the other Questions on the other side of these advertisements Thank you to Aura Frames For sponsoring this Head Gum podcast You know Aura Frames is sponsoring Not just this episode, but the entire Head Gum network Jake

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Holy smokes We got one for my parents So there are three of these bad boys In our family right now But they're great You can upload as many photos as you want Directly into my parents Kitchen, it's really nice

Oh, that's cool, so you take a photo of anything Perhaps a baby and then it goes to their digital Photo frame This is actually how we told Jill's grandma she was pregnant We got her the Aura frame We plugged it in Jill's grandma was pregnant

Really nice, asshole This was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife And you're trying to make a joke of it I was just being goofy a little bit Like this is how I told my grandma She was pregnant She misheard it or something Or the way you said it was kind of like

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Jake, do you have any Oh it's a lift dude Mom I'm coming Gross Yeah Bro, I think we both do Don't we? What do you got? Yes, I recommend

Cordless Vacuums I recently got my first cordless vacuum And it changed my life completely I was a corded vacuum loyalist I thought this was just The status quo The only way to get things done You lug it around, you plug it in

You vacuum for as much as possible You unplug, you lug it to the next room You gotta recoil at the end too You gotta recoil You gotta recoil until My brother told me about his cordless vacuum Got one and I was like wow I had no idea how much easier this is

I can get under couches Under chairs It's got the agility and portability of a broom And the suction And power of a corded vacuum I can't believe it Would you say that going cordless feels Chorless?

Um You really put me on the spot there I guess I never thought of it that way It was just a little Does it feel chorulous? Yeah, in a way In a way it does There's no reason to think

How would it feel like a chore And then we're suddenly talking about Socioeconomically What chores actually mean Like you think of chores in the classic way And it's doing the dishes Cleaning up my room Yeah, I think so

Oh yeah, I think so But when you think about Chores nowadays More so than chores It's about cutting the cord Able and with vacuums Chores are boars That's right

And now that it's cordless I can vacuum with ease And I find myself vacuuming more And then it's a much more pleasant experience I've even turned a few of my friends on To the cordless vacuum I was once on the other side And I assure you it's a worthwhile upgrade

Especially if you're looking for a new vacuum We haven't gotten paid To promote any specific brands yet I don't have to talk specifically About which one I'm using Though I assure you it's amazing I assure you it's a Dyson And if you give me

80 grand I'll say the full name Of it, but let's just say it starts with DYS You can go on Amazon and just see what their Best ones are, but I've had a cordless vacuum For a while and I also I similarly love it Cordless vacuums, what do you got?

Well, you know our buddy Al Jaleel Yes This is a guy that He's like just done us a lot of favors I think we met him In Brooklyn Because he offered to Make a video of our show

And then like sort of early in the venue Wouldn't let him or something like that And I felt bad and we hung out He's a great guy, he like gave us a ride Home after our show in DC Yeah Just been an all around solid dude for a long time And he hit me up and he asked if

He could pay me for a 15 second Spot on the show To promote something and I said Dude, that's great, how much did you fucking charge His ass I charged him a lot And I'm not going to tell you And I'm not going to let you promote him because I'm going to keep all the cash

For me So you charged him and then he paid you directly If I mode you or are you giving it to A head gum and then we'll split it up I have to upload this air check So I'll show him the ad and then he'll pay me directly But he doesn't have to pay you Because like I feel like during the ad break

We do each do an ad and then You know the money has to get split But if it's a little faster And better for me if I just Go directly to the source I do the ad And then I don't have to give you anything I don't think that's moral to cut me out like that

Well I mean I'm not stopping you from you can go out there And do ads, you can get an ad And come on And they're not paying you a squat They're just like You're taking advantage of friends, fans Videographers alike

So what is he looking to promote So that's the thing So I told him that for the right price I'd promote his stuff for 15 seconds But the price was actually free Because he's been A solid dude for us for a long time And then I asked him what he needed help with

And he wrote me a little thing Okay I'm Al Jalil Williams a 34 year old Actor, writer, director, filmmaker From Newark, New Jersey My website is handsomedadfilms.com That's a good website He didn't write that, I'm just saying it

That's your editorial, yeah Here's his dilemma I have two YouTube pages and I need subscribers To change the name of one of them The first and main page To see my films is YouTube.com slash handsomedadfilms Again, that's a good name

The second one I made years ago But I don't have 100 subscribers So I can't change the name It's youtube.com slash Tra B4 show Okay, do you understand why he needs to change that? Yeah, hard to pronounce TRUH

TRUHB And then the number 4 SHO, no W That's tough I want to change my name For vlogs, reviews, and his fitness journey Things like that Okay, so he's trying to

Change the YouTube to handsomedadfilms Okay And if you want to reach out to him It's handsomedadfilms.com Okay That's all I got to say But you need to follow his YouTube so he can change the YouTube name

From TRUHB4SHO to handsomedadfilms Which we all understand that he's going to need to do So how many people need to follow The one that's hard to spell and pronounce? 100 That is a low bar If 100 people follow

This YouTube That helps a young up and coming filmmaker From Newark, New Jersey Who has straight up given us A ride home after a show That's the love of good dude He is solid He's not only driven

He's actually driven us So it just shows you It shows you his drive I'm going to put my money where my mouth is I'm going to follow this YouTube.com TRUHB4SHO Easy

Except not that easy That's my unsensitive advice Is Help me help Al You kind of make me look like an asshole Because you're helping one of our friends And then mine is like yeah it's hard to vacuum You don't know how much cash I really charged him

It's because I said that I didn't charge him anything But then I also made a joke about how I charged him a lot And the truth is there's a little bit of gray area In there I charged Al Kind of a lot of money for That's not a gray area

You said one side is nothing at all The other side is a lot of cash And then you said it's kind of a gray area You charged him a lot of cash That's not a gray area You're firmly entrenched into one of the extremes The worst one by the way So I think that

There's multiple sides to every story Yeah The truth usually lies in the middle Yours is not Yours is exactly one of the sides Yeah a lot of money Yeah This person thinks I'm 37

The other guy thinks I'm 47 The answer is usually somewhere in the middle No You said that one wrong It's 37 You don't nod yes You don't understand what I'm saying You're trying to ignore me

I don't know what to do with my head Just listen to me I'm crying That's fine It's starting to get processed Somewhere in the deep recess of your brain Al's got 52 subscribers on this thing Give me 48 fucking people that give a shit

And We can help Okay 48 people I get the cash that I was promised Actually I'm going to unsubscribe now So we're at 51 Come on people we can do this

Let's go Alright This is an email from Somebody Who's a 23 year old baby boy From Southern California 23 This is called Michael Jordan Mr.23

Nice Long time listener, first time question Asker I'm a 23 year old baby boy from SoCal Who's scared shitless about going outside One of my best friends He's been A best friend and a girlfriend has been pressuring me

To drag my socially deprived Husk outside Into the dangers of COVID The problem is neither of them seem the least bit concerned About the virus And they go out on the daily My best friend even went to a resort hotel In Dana Point this weekend

With some of his extended family And his brother who was on the trip Even has cystic fibrosis Which is a chronic lung disease That puts him at a high risk in these trying times My question is Should I say something to my friend To make him come to his senses

I honestly just want to know Why he is not taking this pandemic Seriously I don't want to go about addressing it with my friend I know he has a right to do whatever he wants With his body, but as a concerned friend I feel like I should do something What would you say to an ignorant friend

Who thinks he's invincible to the virus Also, how did Amir Find a mask to fit around his big chipmunk cheeks? That's a good question Michael Jordan I guess you haven't really though, because you're asking You were asking me about what kind of mask to get So I think is that the problem?

No, it had nothing to do with the cheeks I was just asking, because I have like Some flimsy, dinky looking mask I want to upgrade my mask game And it doesn't fit around my chipmunk cheeks Does it fit over your face? Yes, it fits over my face By the way, several inches to spare

Even though my ears are a little bit Further behind the average humans I still have a lot of wisdom Your mouth protrudes Those two front teeth are like I have big two front teeth I have a long nose and my ears are recessed But I'm not a chipmunk

And I don't need like a special mask made I would take a custom one Or if there's like sizes, I would choose like Yeah, chubbier cheeks Are you eating an acorn? Sorry, we kept having to Push back this recording I'm all hungry for a fricking snack

You're feeling peckish Yeah, you can't convince your friends To give a shit about the virus For whatever reason, some people just don't care Yeah, I've noticed that too Hopefully the least you could do Is tell them to wear a mask because it's Helping other people who do care

Whereas like where he goes He's mostly endangering himself There's part of it That endangers other people that he Comes in contact with Right, that's where it gets really selfish You can maybe just like share Stories, share

Articles, videos There's not really much you can do It seems though Yeah, some people are just Anti-science, they'll be like That's fine, or they'll say That's not even true, or they'll just Deny entirely and

You can't, I think Those are the people that either just like Want to be outside So they've convinced themselves that the virus Is either not as deadly, or the numbers are straight up fake Right, this is what I need to believe To feel comfortable doing the stuff that I want I guess you could

I mean there are There's things that I feel like there's stuff that people share About this, that sometimes it like Goes over my head, or it doesn't like It doesn't grab hold of me, but then Sometimes like an article is like Oh, that's interesting, I

Care about this, so You could just kind of strategically Share things that you respond to And hope that your friend does too Because maybe you guys are like-minded Yeah, I don't know, it's so weird Like I don't really have a lot of friends that straight up don't believe in it But I do see people on Twitter, and like

People on the news, like at Trump rallies Being like, yeah, I've seen people get sick But I just don't know the real facts You don't really know, because you know, they're feeding us fake news You know, people who are like-led to question Anything scientifically Inclined or related at all So it's not like you were going to be the one that breaks through

Yeah, I think it's just like It's kind of like anyone doing Anything dangerous, like Most of the time people are safe, and then you like Hear about somebody that did something really stupid And you're like, oh my god So as long as they're just endangering themselves That's

That's gonna have to be okay for now Yeah, the real problem is that like Odds are, they won't get sick So like, they will go to a Restaurant and like, you know, nine times out of ten Be fine, and they're like, see I told you so, but then You know, one of those times

They'll either get permanently ill Or take a virus Or give it to an old, or immunocompromised Immunocompromised loved one And literally kill them That's really the most part Until that happens, they won't fully learn their lesson Yeah, because you're allowed to not give a shit about yourself

It's really rude to not give a shit about other people Yeah Try to do that Alright, last question This one is a long one, but I'll give you the The Cliff's Notes version Yeah, the

He says, so here's my ish mail So we'll call this guy ish mail 18 year old dating another 18 year old For six months now, but The 18 year old girlfriend Wants an Instagram sugar daddy And one of them has been courting her And he says the man is 47

And she says that She just wanted to get some money from this guy So that he could pay for us to Rent a cottage this summer, and That obviously it meant nothing to her I can't lie, I find it a bit creepy That he calls her my beautiful baby doll And other names of the like

She did ask for my opinion before going Through with anything, but now I'm stuck In this mental kerfuffle of Freudian Perplexity, I find it creepy for sure But also it could be a harmless way for my girl To make some guap Do you think I should give her the a-ok So we can stroll away to this cottage country

This summer? Or should I hold my ground And stress that this guy is a creep and could be Scamming her A longtime fan from Toronto Okay Thank you Ishmael So this 47 year old in Instagram Is sending his girlfriend

Cash to chat with him On Instagram Well the first thing That we should cover is just that it's not Up to you That's The question of should I say it's okay Or should I hold my ground

You're My opinion about it But this is not your call Yeah, ultimately it's her decision to make I would Share the opinion that this is creepy And bad though You know, like it seems like

This is just the beginning Of a Bad power dynamic in a relationship For this Old dude And your girlfriend It's definitely dangerous adjacent If it stops here entirely

And he just sends her cash To DM him That's probably fine But my Spidey sense is tingling That I'm closer to 47 Than to 18 And I feel like this 47 year old Odds are he just won't want to DM

For cash forever and then just disappear Right, I think this is where it starts And not where it stops This isn't like This guy's end goal is not like I'm just gonna send A young woman cash For her to go on a vacation with her boyfriend

And that's good for me That's not what That's not the end goal here Not at all But at the same time If this lady wants to do it With DM With this guy and take his money

And spend it on you You can't stop her from doing that either I guess Yeah, you definitely can't stop her But you could say that you don't want The money to be spent I think that the thing that you Have control over is saying

Like, I don't want To go to a cottage paid for Through this creepy guy Like If your girlfriend wants To get money to spend it on you And you say that You don't want that money spent on you

And she could do whatever she wants with the money Then the cash from the dude becomes A little less fun Unless she just wants to buy herself stuff Right, yeah I guess be honest with her, let her know that it makes you uncomfortable And maybe it'll make her uncomfortable Or at the very least steer her to a place

Where she's like, yeah maybe this is A little creepy way to make cash Yeah Stay safe, good luck We'd love a follow up pup If you have your own questions Or theme songs, the email address For all of that is if I were you

Show at gmail.com For more Of me and Jake being silly You can listen to the headgum podcast That we're on almost every week That's a podcast that Jeffrey James Has been hosting and it's been very fun To record those

And then we're also still making videos every week On our Patreon, patreon.com Slash j a Thanks to you guys for listening And thanks to everybody for writing in And oh, this closing theme song I was gonna totally forget Is another parody

A green day About, oh another song With a title that doesn't appear in the lyrics It's called Brain stew I'm having trouble trying to sleep Did it, did it, did it Oh yeah, I love that one

That's a good one And he says, shout out To brother sister co for helping his baby Face diva become a hard one of himself So I guess he's been using the beard oil Damn, you'll love to see it Good work man Cheers and go dogs, hell yeah, go dogs

Thanks to Paul for writing that And thanks to you guys for listening And we'll be back next week Later, bye I'm trying to sleep So I'll turn on This podcast show Ask for advice

I'll roll the dice See what these two That was a hate gun podcast