If I Were You - 448: Tourist Season (w/Miel!)

Episode Date: August 17, 2020

Friend/Singer/Fellow Headgum podcaster Miel Bredouw joins us to discuss shitty roommates, lonely boyfriends, and her new album, "Tourist Season!"Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fmSee omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. When you think that 5G chips are in the masks and news isn't true, but if I were you, show it to email.com and if I were you, juice will help you along and if I were you, this is just a theme song. Oh yeah baby. Can you believe that? That gets me ready. Those harmonies were good.

They were. That was the Seinfeld. That was the Seinfeld theme. That wasn't... No. If I were you. So you do know the Seinfeld theme. And then it goes into...

Chandler and Kramer just fucking hanging out. You're talking about the Thursday night lineup. It does go into that eventually. I think I've fallen asleep while watching TV so it's all like Caroline in the city, Seinfeld friends, mashup. Anyway, Mielle, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. I forgot how funny both of you are and now I suddenly feel intimidated again.

No, you're doing great. Is it okay if I don't talk? Is it okay if I just listen? I would love to because you don't have to talk, you don't have to think. And when there's a silence, you don't have to do anything. That's the fucking. Right now I'm trying to feel every little silence. Every nook and cranny you stuff it in.

When you're packing. You're not letting anyone else talk. Yeah, I mean, I have enough underwear but there's this little pocket here so let me roll it up and put it in. That's how I treat every conversation, right? So then I'm like, okay, maybe if I don't stop talking, there will never be a silence. You pack weird. That's a bad way to pack. He's not done.

Yeah, yeah, hold on. And then it's like, okay, you think of the, what is it? How do you pronounce that thing? The tube with the fucking things that you put in? You sang it if you don't even know how to pronounce. Don't interrupt him. Yeah, one second. All right, I'm sorry.

He asked a question. He said, how do you say it? One second. And then it's like, it's so funny because I'm like, do I have to bring shampoo and conditioner because you get the little bottles from the hotel so you try to use them? It's like a travel pack but then when you're traveling, they give you fucking shampoo and conditioner. So it's like, at which point is it? One second.

And then it's like. I thought you were kidding when you said the slam poetry thing, but this is pretty like purely art right now. Yeah. I get it. We told Mielle she had to do a slam poem at some point during the conversation. And instead I've. I do deeply.

You opened. I think that what you're describing though is exactly how I feel in all social situations, which is I think why podcasting is a very easy transition because you're like, well, I already feel the need to speak at all times as some kind of social courtesy. Yeah. Yeah. I do that too. And then I do.

Do you do what I do where I sometimes like I divulge secrets and information that I don't want anyone to know because I just need to talk and I feel like yeah. And I want to give somebody like some kind of like moral high ground too because I think that's also polite. Right. They'll just like self deprecate yourself straight into hell and then they're just like, oh, are you okay? And you're like, no, we're just goofing in resin.

It was just fun. I wanted you to like me, but I told you all the ways I was a piece of shit. I didn't mean to get into my dad issues this quickly. Fuck. What does that leave us? Thank God there are no more social situations that you don't have to like find yourself in anymore. That's that's been alleviated.

That's gone. Now we could focus on this zoom conversation. I think we can all say thank God. Yeah. For that. Yeah. Just one of the many ways coronavirus made the world a better place. Yeah.

Yeah. I was on your I was on your podcast. We were in New York. I feel like right before all this crazy shit went down, like I did punch up the jam like in December and November. December. Yeah. It was cold and we were in New York and we talked about Blues Traveler.

Did you ever come around on Blues Traveler by the way? The song being amazing or did you still? Here's what I'll say. Have you changed your mind on that? Yeah. I have heard that play now in like a public space probably four times since doing that episode with you. And every time it comes on, I have that like initial paying of recognition where I'm like,

oh, this song. And then about two seconds later, it's like, oh, this song. So like you have gotten that far. I've gotten two seconds of like. It's pretty good. A blissful naivete that I think is purely because of your hope and excitement about that song. So I can only can thank you for that. And also you pop into my head every time I hear it now.

So thank you for that as well. All right. The punch up, the punch up that you did on that song was like that it's iconic to me. Like that takes the place of. The basketball refs. Yeah. Yeah. I hate that I know all of this now.

Now I'm like, oh, how's Cousin? How's Cousin doing? I don't know who that is. Why do I know this? And you can never forget you would you like you made the you made the song the hook about basketball without knowing anything about basketball. I texted my brother and was like, Henry, tell me everything there is to know about the Los Angeles Lakers.

Is he a Laker fan? Oh, he's like, I have never met someone as obsessed with LeBron James. I mean, I know everyone's fairly obsessed with LeBron James, but what I'm telling you is like, you don't know anything about obsession until you've talked to my brother about Wow. It's honestly kind of a wedge in our family. Oh, you should. He's like, you will not meet someone who knows more about LeBron James.

How old is your brother? He's 28. Wow. So right. I know. Like LeBron's been basically doing everything for his entire life, basically. But previously it was Kobe. He's always had a soft spot for the Lakers and actually despite growing in Washington,

like my dad brought him to a Lakers game in LA when he was very young. And I don't know how he did it, but he somehow wealed his way into getting a basketball signed by the starting five in like 2001. Wow. Every single one of them signed it. That's worth 150,000 dollars. Yeah. That was the last team that went 18 and won the playoffs.

No, you don't understand. Shaq signed it. Kobe signed it. Like that's a really fucking. I might have the year wrong. It doesn't matter. All right. Relax.

I might have the year wrong, but we also certainly played with it and then like had it roll down the hill and got lost. Like it's no longer in existence. What? You played with the ball. Is this the fucking sandlot? It all sounds like been taken back by the wild cucumber. I'm sorry.

Yeah. It was signed by Babe Ruth. You shouldn't have dribbled that. The girl signed it and I think we lost the ball. Babe Ruth. Babe Ruth. Sandlot. What a fellow.

We totally forgot to mention that the opening theme song was indeed a friend's cover by Ellen from Portland who has nothing to plug, but her friend Hannah owes her $10. So she might give you $10. She might give her $10 if we call it out and also plug the Urban League of Portland, an organization that does awesome stuff for black Portlanders. So if you can get $10 from Hannah, that's where it's going. There you have it. Tight.

So Hannah, pay Ellen, and then Ellen, give the money to the Urban League of Portland. Mielle, you're a professional punch-up, or how was that theme song to you? Were you able to critique it? I was impressed by the harmony. They got that harmony exactly right, and that's a weird harmony. What is the harmony? Explain that to me as somebody who's like an amazing singer but doesn't have the formal training to figure stuff out about what harmonies are.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep singing. I will harmonize with you. When I went to the store, I saw her face. Oh, okay. That's good. So you just sort of...

You kind of ruined what I was saying, but yeah. That really broke my brain because Mielle did a good job in you saying the worst thing I've ever heard. When I went to the store, I saw her face. Well, I wasn't thinking about the lyrics. I was thinking about the tune. I was thinking about the tune. If I was thinking about lyrics, I would have fucking set a poem that would have been so

amazing that you would have cried. Do another one then where you're thinking about the lyrics. Yeah, we got this. But then I won't think about the tune, so it'll be like an amazing spoken one. I can fix it. The harmony will save it all. Okay. Mielle, yeah.

So just focus on really great words. Yeah, I will try to match your words. The tune in the first one was pretty bad, and Mielle only made it good by... Yeah, I don't want to be Leonard Cohen 2.0. Mielle, do you know who Leonard Cohen is? I think you do want that. Okay. We all want that.

Okay. Birds on a Wire. Are you kidding? Do you see this picture behind me? That's the lyrics to Bird on a Wire right there. Yeah, okay. Oh, that's cool. That's a cool idea for us.

It's from my mom's like six... Whatever. It doesn't matter. Keep going. We have bear, fish, and fry. It sounds like it matters so much. It's like a poem. Yeah.

You're asking me to do a poem? Or what do you want me to do? Yeah, but like if you sing it. Yeah, yeah, sing a poem. Sing poetry, yeah. She said her eyes were blue. She said her hair was brown. Every lie she told me it made me frown.

Because I'm a scary neighbor man. Are we describing to kill a mockingbird? Yes. Are you Boo Radley? So I'm sort of a voyeur slash prick who lives across the street from a nunnery. It's like a convent of sorts. And I'm trolling the sisters by asking them what their hair color is or what their eye color is.

This is the sound of music spinoff we deserve. It makes them question their faith, right? Not only in each other, but in the Lord, in the Lord. Are you a religious man, Jake? No. Imagine this far into your friendship just thinking to ask them. I forgot to ask you, actually. Are you a God fearing Christian, Jake?

Yeah, I did. I thought recently that I was going to start responding to messages on Slack and be like, all right, sweet, I'll take a look at this when I get back from church. See if anybody said anything. God bless. Thanks, guys. I'll weigh in here when I get back from church. Midnight Mass and then I'm getting these messages.

Just 8 p.m. on a Tuesday. Wow. I didn't know it was open on the week like that, but that's cool. It's always open. Is harmonizing just to get a real answer out of you? Are you singing the same key, but in a different something, register or something? So it's like relative to what you're singing. It's like an interval away from it.

And there are all types of ones you can sing, but only certain ones that sound good. And none of what I did sounded good. It was more just a concept of like, what if we sang kind of parallel to each other instead of the exact same note? I see. I thought the first one sounded really good. The second one struggled because Amir changed his voice and vibe right in the middle. You became an angry, an angry voyeur who Radley type guy. Outside of the nunnery.

Do you have perfect pitch? I have relative pitch, I think. Oh, sorry. You were talking to me. I thought you were talking to me. No, any questions for all of us? This is a shared experience. Wait, there's relative pitch is different than perfect pitch, but close.

So if perfect pitch is like, give me a C major. Major, there's no major in a note. Whatever, give me a C. I would be like, oh, a C. But to be able to just pull that note out of thin air is perfect pitch. Relative pitch is like, if you gave me a C, I could find an E. Oh, interesting. Oh, that seems more impressive.

No, it's less impressive. And what if I sing a note and I don't know what that note is? Would you be able to tell me what it is? Not at this time, but my brain has slowly rotted like over the last six months. I don't think I can do any of my former skills anymore. Peak Meel could just pull an E out of thin air. I think I could have about a year ago, yeah. That's cool.

Not anymore. Peak Meel could have made you sing a G out of thin air. That's how good Meel was. I could have beat you both in arm wrestling at the same time. Who wants the left? That's what you did during the podcast you beat me in arm wrestling. Wait, really? As I do with all of my guests on Punch Up the Jam.

I was using two arms. Yeah, I remember when I was on Punch Up the Jam, you didn't arm wrestle me, but you kicked my ass just outside of the head gum in the parking lot. I think I have verbally slandered you specifically, Jake, more than any individual on Punch Up the Jam. Any individual? So I think that might kind of like metaphorically be actually true. Okay, yeah.

No, that's absolutely fair. Just got to keep you on your toes. Appreciate it. All right, this is an advice podcast. If I were you, of course, the only one on the net hosted by me and Jake. Sometimes it's just us. Sometimes we have friends and family join us. Today we have both.

Jake's cousin, Meel. Wow. Oh, we do look related. I could have absolutely seen that. Yeah. Oh my God, it's so good to see you. I haven't seen you since wet Thanksgiving three years ago. Oh my God, Aunt Judy made that terrible casserole with the tater top.

An uncle John passed out. Yeah. Anyway, dude, that was fun. You had Mike's heart. Your uncle fainted. He had a vasobagal response at the casserole. Jesus Christ. All right, Meel, this is a real email from a real dude who's quarantine horny.

We just need a fake name to preserve his anonymity. Cass. Cass. I got casserole on the brain. I'm sorry. That's cool. Yeah. Casserole's heart lemonade.

Casserole J. Mike's writes, like most people in their mid 20s who are in quarantine, I am losing my mind with these new levels of pent up sexual frustration. Usually this wouldn't be an issue as I share a small apartment with my girlfriend of three years, but she's been across the country with her family for the last month and a half. I would have gone, but I'm a quote essential worker. Anyway, the long distance combined with quarantine horniness has resulted in me fantasizing about other women a lot. I normally don't fantasize about people other than my girlfriend at all, but it's one girl in particular that has been on my mind.

Here's the weird part. She looks exactly like my girlfriend. In fact, they have a very similar personality in the same job even. Normally I would play it safe and cut ties, but she's close friends with an old buddy of mine that I lost contact with and have recently been trying to rekindle that friendship via socially distanced drinking, which my girlfriend's doppelganger is often a part of. I'm not really sure what to do here as this is the first time I've had this issue.

Should I ghost a valuable friendship all because of my stupid penis? Or should I just wait for my girlfriend to come back and see if it goes away? Or should I just play it safe and go full unique? Kisses, casts a role. Unique as in cut off their balls. Yeah. That's drastic. But not entirely uncalled.

I don't hate it. I don't hate it. Just so crazy it might work. Yeah. Do you think it would be less horny if you cut your balls off? No. No, not at all. What are you talking about?

Isn't that a thing like where your testosterone comes from? Horniness comes from the balls? Yeah, I thought so. That's why dogs stop humping stuff when you cut their balls off. No, they don't. They don't? It's not just horniness. I get a lot of good ideas from my nuts and I don't think that they should be.

That's where I do my best. My riffs come straight from the nut. Your hand is down your pants right now as you think about how to answer this question. Is this real? Is this real? It must be real. It's so specific. These are really weird, crazy ones.

This one's fairly normal. What I don't understand is the worry about fantasizing. That's perfectly in bounds. Okay, but fantasizing about a real person that you actually know and interface with? He's conflating fantasizing and having a crush, which I guess is the problem. He has a crush. He has a crush now. I wonder if that could have been avoided if you just gave himself over to the fantasy

to only fantasize about your significant other, it seems like. You're saying not the point of fantasy? If you would have Jado thinking about her, it would have just gone away. Because he's preventing that, the pent-up sexual frustration is manifesting itself into a full, he has to have a lobotomy, I think, because the balls I don't think would necessarily stop him from being horny. He's got to cut off the brain and the balls. So he's walking around.

And then you'll be brainless, nutless, deaf and dumb. That's my next album. I'm really conflicted about, to me, it's like if you're already at the place where what, she's been gone a month and a half? That's like a long time, but that's not like a crazy amount of time to be already at a place where you're like, oh, I want to fuck this girl that I see all the time so bad. Maybe there's a space to ask the bigger questions here of what's actually going on. Is it purely sexual?

Because you could just masturbate. You know what I mean? And if that's still not going away, then maybe you're bored with your relationship. There's a lot of terms coming around like horniness, fantasy, doppelganger. That was the one that struck me as well. Doppelganger was a big word thrown in there. Yeah. I think that you're totally right.

Being like, do I like this person? Do I like my girlfriend as the question? These are the questions. And also, again, that's not that long. And I just feel like maybe you invest in a new masturbation ritual and the problems resolved. And if it's still not, maybe there's something that gets more of a symptom than a cause. I don't know. Yeah, no.

I would advise trying a new masturbation thing. Light some candles. Light some candles. Draw yourself a bath. Draw yourself a picture of your girlfriend to jerk off to. Hand drawn sketch. Just a charcoal drawing of your girlfriend. But careful and don't make it look too much like the girl that your girlfriend looks like.

No, it's OK. They look exactly the same. They even have the same job. And you could also try it. What about having like phone sex with your girlfriend while she's away? Yeah. Or having sex. Like, are you kidding?

There's so many things you could be doing. I would try doing that. That might satisfy your horniness. And then you'll also kind of know for sure if it's just you being horny that's making you attracted to someone else or if it's like a bigger thing. You're looking to replace with an exact same version of the same model. That's good. Yeah.

It would be weird to break up with somebody and go out with someone that looked exactly like them and their personalities are the same. But I think the Unic idea was good too. Yeah. Cutting your balls off. I like the FaceTime idea because it's like the person, if the video is blurry enough, you can almost imagine that it's the doppelganger because it's like, oh, it looks like a low res version of my girlfriend, AKA the woman I fantasize about.

Then it's not cheating. It's just like poor, especially if you don't connect your phone to the Wi-Fi. Like if you're using a LTE, one second, Jake, an LTE hotspot and you have like two bars and it's like, sorry, you're breaking up. You're breaking up, but you're not breaking up with me, if that makes sense. You know what I mean? Like the reception. Right.

You want to give her a warm reception, but you also want to make sure that the reception on the phone is good. So if it, one second. You really should have gone out on the breaking up, but you're not breaking up with me. That was perfect. No, I liked the warm reception. I tried to cut you off before that. That's cool.

I think it was worth it for the warm reception part. Sometimes often, it doesn't feel like this, but sometimes I talk until I find a conclusion. Like, I don't know what I'm going to say until I start talking. I'm like, people don't really realize that. It doesn't feel like that crafted five paragraph essay. Right. A bang bang bongo. Yeah.

I always think you have things written when you're talking. That's cool. It's weird to like have a crush on someone. Like he, this guy has a crush on somebody and he's dating someone that looks a lot like them and has the same personality. So isn't that good enough? Like that seems perfect. There's something really sinister about it.

Like the whole, even the part where he's like, I usually only fantasize about my girlfriend. What? Yeah. Wait, what? Well, really? Only? I think that's weird. Every person has a doppelganger that's more attractive and less attractive than them.

So like I wouldn't be offended if my girlfriend was envisioning a lesser attractive version of me while she was fantasizing, but I don't want her like think about a hotter version of me. You know what I mean? Who's the hotter version of you? Daniel Radcliffe. You had that too fast. I think that you actually do have thought that, no?

He has blue eyes. He's perfect. Radcliffe is pretty hot. Yeah. He's sort of like, who's the uglier version of you? I don't want to say because it'll be offensive to the uglier version of me, but let's just say there's a lot of unattractive brown haired people in the world. Let's leave it at that.

Believe that. Yeah. For each sister. Trust. Trust. Queen go off. I'm serious. Drag them.

Tom Selleck for one. Brad Pitt. Is he dead? Is he dead? No. Did Tom Selleck die? Is he fine? Yes, he's fine.

He's okay. I just saw that, what was his name? Regis Philbin died and I was like, hasn't he been dead for 10 years? Yeah. That happens sometimes. Yeah. That happens every once in a while. Is Betty White dead?

Did Betty White die? No. Still alive? No. Wow. Good honor. Still trucking. All right.

Let's take a break. Great stuff. Thanks to sponsors and we'll come back with more questions and answers with Miel after these messages. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this Head Gum podcast. You know, Aura Frames is sponsoring not just this episode, but the entire Head Gum network, Jake. Wow.

That's correct. I mean, this might be the Goat Father's Day gift. I think it actually is. Yeah. Yeah. It's not Goat Father's Day, but if for any not so tech-savvy family member that you need a gift for soon, these digital photo frames might be the best of all time. Yeah.

For me personally, these things are perfect. I'll tell you why. As you know, I am expecting my first child. We got one for Jill's parents. Oh, wow. We got one for Jill's grandma. Holy smokes. We got one for my parents.

So there are three of these bad boys in our family right now, but they're great, really easy way to stay in touch with your family. You can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents' kitchen. It's really nice. Oh, that's cool. So you take a photo of anything, perhaps a baby, and then it goes to their digital photo frame. Yeah.

This is actually how we told Jill's grandma she was pregnant. We got her the Aura frame. We plugged it in. Jill's grandma was pregnant? Really nice, asshole. This was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife, and you're trying to make a joke of it. I was just being goofy a little bit like, this is how I told my grandma she was pregnant.

Yeah. Yeah. Kind of like she misheard it or something like that, or the way you said it was kind of like, could go either way. By the way, Jill's grandma is pregnant. Oh my God. Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant. It's pretty cool.

And you told me with a digital photo frame? Holy smokes. And we let her know with an Aura. Yeah. Thank you. The Aura announcement. So you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the Aura app.

Add me to your Aura app. I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something. That could be funny. Yeah. Like your banana or your dog alongside pictures of my daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

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A-U-R-A-Frames.com. Okay. Go get your parents something, all right? And use the code HEADGUM for $30 off plus free shipping. Right on. Thank you, Aura. And now back to the HEADGUM podcast you were listening to. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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BetterHelp. And we are back. Jake or Miel, do you guys have any? Oh, it's a little bit. Oh, it's a little bit. I forgot about that last part. Whenever there's a guest. It's always.

Sorry about that. It's a joke. I guess. Or whatever. Anyway, Jake. Do you have any? Oh, I'm solicited. Like make a smoothie or something.

I was gonna. Why don't we just sit here in the comfortable silence that you're saying stinger where you yell to your mother that you're coming seed milk. What was it? What was yours going to be? Like, I think everybody, I think everyone out there should listen to Miel's album tourist season available. That's what it's called right now.

I got that right. Right. Yeah. Tourist season. This is so uncomfortable. Thanks. Tell me about an album. How do you record an album during quarantine and release it and all that stuff?

Because I've been actually thinking about turning my spoken word into like something of an album as well, but walk us through your process. Well, I didn't record it during quarantine. I recorded it last summer. But I imagine if you were to do it during quarantine, it would be two words come to mind. Hard and not fun. Just a guess. And then how was your process doing it last summer?

Was it less hard and more fun? I would say it was hard and I would say more specifically sad. That was mostly, I feel. My brother was like, Miel, for this song, if we can't get you actually crying, I just don't think it's going to land quite as hard. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then he's like deliberately triggering me. And then I'm like, okay, Henry, roll, count me in, guys.

I ain't no man, no man. Fucking tears warping down my whole face and onto my breast. I'm like in the candlelight. Just like, it was an experience of bond my brother and I will share forever. I don't know that it was a good bond, but it is a bond nonetheless. Did you feel like they're needed to tap into, like, were you feeling those things anyway, or were you like trying to tap into those emotions so you could get there for the song? No, I was, I was in hell.

I was emotionally in a hell space. I think we might have had a meeting right after. I think, I think you guys were there, right? Yeah. I think I came back to LA like a few days after wrapping that up. And we had this like meeting that I really don't remember because I was in like still such an emotional fugue state of like, I remember just being like, yeah, I don't know, guys, I'm moving to New York.

And you guys were like, cool, are you okay? And I was like, absolutely not, bye. So like, that's where I was at. You were wearing sunglasses upside down. You would park your car on top of Amir's car. I remember it really well. My mom was there like holding my hand the whole time. I was like, I'm fine.

Everything's good. And so the album kind of came out of me like inadvertently, unvoluntarily, that was not at all like a thoughtful process. Wow. It's funny because like the the song, like the the titular track is like so it's so catchy, but it's also like very, very sad, which is like, what? Oh, the chorus where I'm saying now I'm no one over and over again. It reminded me of one of my favorite Simon and Garfunkel songs, which is Bye Bye Love.

It's just like so poppy and like, it just like, it makes you like bob your head and they're just saying things that are like, oh, wait, that's actually really sad. My favorite type of music is like, I'm dancing, but I'm also crying. Yes. So I felt like I had to like stay true to me and making that happen. Also, like, how can you say shit that's so sad and not put like a good beat under it without wanting to like gently fade away into depth, sweet embrace? You know what I mean?

Now I'm no one is the saddest words anybody could string together. I think I got what I wanted. Now I'm no one. But then you like put that with like, oh, shit. I'm like walking down New York City, bobbing my heads, singing. Now I'm no one. I love it. That was also the song where I outed myself as a stoner, which I don't think

I've ever actually done before. But the very first line of that song is I got too stoned and I was like, man, this is either going to help my image or ruin my image. And surprisingly, like no one's reacted to it. So I guess it's just like, I think everyone might have known that actually already who already had that vibe, I guess. I think I kind of do. Yeah.

It's when I say like sick, my guy or like hella. And I use way too many chakas. I get it. Yeah. Um, wait, so here's a question for you too. Do you, um, do you have lyrics first, melody first, instruments first? What's like, what's in your head when you're, when you're coming up with a new song? There's nothing in my head.

Now I'm no one. It's just like a singular piece of dust, just like floating in a small tornado, like not an actual tornado, but the kind you see on the street where you're like, what the fuck is that? And then it's gone. Those tiny little ones. There's only a word for them in Spanish. They're called Ramuelinas.

That's beautiful. Jake, get my guitar. And then you're like, you're like vibing with like an instrument of some kind. And you're just like feeling it out. And then something comes to you. And then suddenly you're like, and what if like a, you're like, oh, and then what if a, and like, I feel like usually it's like mouth sounds and shapes come to you first.

And so you're just like school dot, and you, and then you kind of reverse engineer around the vowels that keep coming to you. It's like, this needs to hit here. And like personally with me and my lyrics, I really want them to have a rhythmic nature to them. I want the lyric itself to like move this song in a way that almost operates like a drum. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone outside of my head.

The people in my head say that made sense, but. The one dust, the speck of dust in my head loved it. I think that's like a rapping thing. She's thriving. Like, rapping using words that are easy to say fast versus words that sound weird or something. Oh my God. Wop.

If you guys listen to Wop. Yes. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Great song. Great video. Loved it all. That's Amir's unsolicited advice.

Yeah. Watch the Wop music video. It's insane, but very entertaining. Kylie like walks through the frame as if she's about to spit fire and then just walks right out of the frame. Oh, well, all right. She was in it, I guess. That was so fast.

Okay, cool. I guess Kylie gets a shout out that she didn't need. That's cool. She deserves it. So how can people download, listen to this album? If you want to buy it and have like a hard copy, it's on Bandcamp. And if you want to stream it, it's Spotify, Apple music, literally anywhere you want to listen to it.

And actually, ooh, do you want a scoop? I can give you a scoop if I were you exclusive. We're working on a music video right now. For which one? Ooh, should I say which one? Yeah, if we want the real exclusive, you really have to say which one. You have to. Okay.

You can tell us and then if you want later on, you can change your mind and we'll go in and bleep this out. So it'll be exclusive just for me in here, but I'll have a reaction either way. OK, the single that is getting the music video at least first is I'll be holding. I love that one. Don't I'm very excited about it in the outfit. Oh, and you can't see it here. I'm working on it still, but I did do a dramatic haircut that will be revealed

on the video as well. Wow, rad, Felicity. A lot of exciting things happening here. Yeah, holy shit. And is this a haircut that you currently have that I'm looking at right now? Well, I am very carefully obscured it because it's not ready yet. It needs a little more work. Very fancy, but it will be cool.

All right, OK, no spoilers about the haircut. We'll see it in the music video. Yeah, sweet. So again, it's tourist season, and you can get it on meelmusic.bandcamp.com. Oh, my God, thank you guys. So nice of you. No problemo. It's really good. Is this is this the same brother that did the basketball knowledge?

That's the one that helped produce my only brother. And he he's a music producer. Oh, he's not just a music producer. He's like an incredible musician and songwriter and instrumentalist. I played piano on one song on this album. He played everything else. Oh, my gosh, drums, guitar, keyboards. He sings blood harmonies with me on every song.

He helped me write almost I think actually all of the songs. Like this is his album. Incredible. I mean, kind of, yeah, but like, you know, marketing meel. We had to, you know, sell, sell, sell. He also knows more about a mirror than LeBron. So he's kind of like the perfect guy. Wow. He grew up watching you guys. That's how I first found out about you guys was because he'd be watching it.

And I'm like, who are these guys? Oh, OK. All right, I'll allow it. He might have like influenced your decision to have punch up the jam on the head come network. Oh, maybe I do remember once in a meeting with you guys, one of the things I had overheard him watch enough that it got like implemented in my brain. And then I guess like slowly incorporate into my lexicon.

And then I do believe I said it at one of our first meetings and immediately went, oh, my God, I just referenced them to them. Was a she y'all? Certainly. Wow, our second ever meeting. I was like, just so you know, like, I don't I don't actually, like, like really know you guys are like my brother. Watch your videos. And like, I happened to like over here and then I guess it just got in my brain

and like, I'm not like a fan or anything. Like, please don't make me feel weird about that. Oh, I don't remember that. I don't remember that from the meeting either. I think I maybe like dipped halfway through. I probably was like, she's you guys. I remember that that when you threw up in the meeting midway through things. Sheesh.

I think is there food poisoning in the air here? OK, no. Food poisoning is contagious. Yeah. All right. Should we try to answer one last question before you have to get the hell out of here? Yes, let's give a shot. All right. All right, cool. This one is from a lady.

So, yeah, do you have a lady's name? Let's go with Gore Gorin. Gorin, I like that. Gorin writes, Hey, y'all, I've been living in my place for about a year and a half with a couple of friends. The friend I was originally closest to has really gotten on my nerves for more than one reason, being super negative about everything, never pulling their weight with cleaning and literally never cleaning anything.

And the newest thing that's grinded my gourd. She never washes her hands in the bathroom. You can hear pretty much all that goes in there as well as the sink turning on. And every time she's in there, you just hear the sound of the toilet flushing and then her immediately leaving the bathroom. So whenever anyone else leaves the bathroom, they're just getting those germs back on their hands. She's 26 years old, dudes, and works in food service.

How can she do something so unsanitary and furthermore, how can I navigate this nasty bacterial dilemma? Thanks in advance. Love. Gorin. Gorin. Oh, a clarification email. She not only started. She only started not washing her hands a month and a half ago. I've noticed I'm not trying to listen in on everyone's bathroom visits,

of course, but the sound of someone not washing their hands was a jarring thing to not hear. So this is a new thing for her. I think Gorin needs to be more realistic about that second email. I'm not trying to listen to everyone's bathroom business. No, you certainly are. You certainly are. Yeah. And that's fine.

You have to just own it, but you're listening. Yeah. Like you're a little fucking eavesdropping poop freak. Like for sure. She's listening for the fault. I hear her taking a dump and then I don't hear the water running. And to notice the absence of a sound means like she has her ear to the door. That's great.

And that was a three-wipe dump, OK? That needed hand washing. I can tell there was some spray. She better use the brush. Specific plops. One, two, three. Yeah. Do you guys wash your hands after using the toilet for pooping and peeing?

Jake, I'm looking at you. Look, I'll skip peeing. Yeah, when I'm at home and I pee and I rinse, I do a rinse, but I don't do it deep. Especially since we're washing our hands so much because of COVID, like I'm not going to use soap if I don't have to. If I'm in a public, I don't, I mean, like if I would peed in a gas station on a road trip recently and I washed my hands really well because I like went into the gas station.

Oh, so he went on a road trip during a pandemic. OK, go on, OK. What was that about? Well, Jake was going to a music festival, right? You're a Bonnaroo, going to Bonnaroo. Yeah, so I went to Burning Man. You went to Vegas and hit up some casinos. I had to get to an anti-mask rally in South Dakota.

So the only way to get there reliably was to drive my hog. Yeah, your motorcycle with the dog in the sidecar. And we all saw the picture. My friend is doing a cross country road trip right now. And the two insane things that he's noticed is one, people look at him like he's a cock when he wears a mask. Like it's almost like a sign of like you're you're against Trump and we hate you just by wearing a mask.

And two, he was planning on stopping in front of Mount Rushmore and it was the day of this 250,000 person rally. So he accidentally was in South Dakota during the time of this historic rally. He was just like wearing a mask, like surrounded by a quarter million bikers who are like looking at him like he's some fucking liberal Angelino taking photos of everyone on a $2,000 camera. But on a road trip, I feel like if you're if you're like in a rest stop bathroom, no matter what, I'm washing my hands.

Like if I'm in like a foreign place, I'm definitely washing. No matter like I'm even probably going to the bathroom just to wash because I'm always like I hate the unknown germs on my hands. But when they're my own germs in my own house, my house, let them live a little. Yeah, I wash my hands when I got home to my house. And I, you know, like then I'm clean and yeah. But after a doodoo, no, they're getting washed every time. Doodoo, doodoo, I do a deep wash, a nice deep wash.

What's a deep wash? So what's? Yeah, what's a deep wash? I take a bath after I take a shit three, four times a day. Just in the bubble bath, suds up. Yeah, yeah. I take I take a bath and then Jill sprays me down with like a power washer outside. But down, suds up. That's the way I like to butt. What about a mirror? Do you wash your hands?

Yeah, what about you? I don't I don't believe in that. Like I don't think that we should have that quite frankly, because the government is using that as a means. I don't want to get into it, but they're basically using it as a means to control us because it's anyway, it's just this ideology that I sort of subscribe to and that I don't think that human should be clean. I've had coronavirus two times and I felt two times, you know, on door.

That's door both times and I don't believe in that shit. So I don't believe in the mass and I don't believe in the washing out. I believe in the vaccinations. I don't believe in flu shots because I don't believe in the flu. That's not a disease. You know, it's a disease. Maybe I'll, can you harmonize with this? You know, it's a disease. You know, it's a disease is thinking that the feet and the hands on the body

isn't sanitary. It's holy. It's dirty. It's not OK. It's a little birdie. It's. I hated that. I think we're going to death jam with this. I was doing it. Did they listen? I didn't I didn't want to do that. I didn't like that, Jake.

You put me in a very precarious situation. He pipped you out. You did ask a question back on the advice train. I'm just really quick, too, too, in a way here to inquire who's at fault here. The person not washing their hands or the roommate who is extremely overbearing. I don't I kind of don't like if you try to talk to your roommate about this, like, aren't you immediately the bad guy? Like you should. Yeah, that's kind of not your place, right?

My take on this is just I noticed that you didn't wash the relation. So I've been listening when you shit, and it's like you never turn the water on. And like, this is a problem for me as your housemate. Like, I think the relationship, the relationship is broken at this point. Like when I, you know, washing your hands aside, it just feels like this person's negativity and not helping. It's just like a bad roommate situation. It's nitpicking. It's like you don't like this person anymore.

She might not like you. And like and now you're like now you're fully dialed in on this bathroom thing because it's like the worst. But I think it's just like it's just like a symptom of the the overall disease, which is your roommate relationship like your roommate. So that's yeah. And also like bringing in the like she's 26. It's like, OK, so I'm hearing a lot of resentment.

Yeah. Yeah. But like if this was like your boyfriend or someone you like actually liked and they didn't wash their hands, you just be like, Greg, come on. Like, and it would be literally that simple. Actually, Jill, Jill says that to me all the time. She'll be like, Greg, did you wash your hands like who the fuck is Greg? Greg is your more attractive doppelganger hot. Greg, taking a shit, not washing his hands at my house.

That's cool. Every Greg is hot. Listen to that. Greg, do we know any Greg's? It's a very common name. Who's the most famous Greg? Greg, we shouldn't. We should know Greg from Succession. Oh, that's very good, the egg.

But I don't have any real Greg's in my house. I don't know a real Greg. How can that be? I've never known a Greg. I know a Craig and I know a Meg. And I know a Greg, but I know five eggs. But no, Greg's Greg. I know a Greg, but it has three oom lows.

Where? And no, G's. It's on the G, the E and the G. Wow. Tereach, Pinot Grigio, Tereach. I love you, Tereach. I've always loved you. You say anything to a roommate that doesn't wash or do you just sort of? I just think if you're going to do it, if you if it's eaten away

at you so much, you have to do it in a way that's like, did you wash your hands? Like I caught you. It's no, I think you have to do it. You have to frame it as like you're insane. I think you have to take that. I think if you want, it's like you need to talk to her about it. You need to be like, listen, I've been a little freak. OK, I've been listening.

I hear it. I've been freaking out because I don't hear that I have an issue. And could you accommodate my crazy? Like, I think that's the only way to talk about it. I think that's super, super smart. Right. Because if you make her feel gross, like you're the asshole. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. It's her house. Yeah.

But it's also it's it's going to feel very transparent when you're like, I have this weird thing where I think people should wash their hands after you take this shit. Oh, my God. So we have to mean it. If she's just I'll say if she's just being if all you're here and is the tinkle sounds and no hand washing, I think that's fine. I think maybe also just like what I just still I can't get over. Why are you like actively listening to your roommate use the bathroom?

Like I personally like I shared a studio with a friend. We slept in the same bed for a whole year. I heard every sound in the bathroom and out of sheer respect, you just put headphones on when they're taking a dump. Like, that's just what you do. I don't know why she's actively like, let me hear that in a squirt. Like, what's wrong with you? Let me hear that little squirt.

You should start. You know what would be nice is actually if you start yelling that when she walks into the bathroom, because then your roommate will know that you're listening and that will be like, oh, OK, if someone's paying attention, I'll wash my hands. So you just signal like, I'm listening to you squirt in there. Then then like you're I don't know. It's all out. It sounds like you need more fiber, honey.

Don't flush. Don't flush. Can I see it? But wait, it's quick sidebar. Have you ever seen someone's poop that makes you realize that buttholes come at all different sizes? Oh, or no, that's not happened, because that's a radicalizing experience. Seeing someone else is shit. Do you see one that's like super, super thin and you're like, wow, that's a really.

No, that's not it. I think that anyone's capable of a thin shit. I think it's the really wide ones where you're like, oh, oh, mine doesn't get that big. That's truly incredible. But also, can you please remember to flush the toilet next time? Interesting. I guess I have seen some really thickies, but I don't I never imagined. I never associated that with like, oh, wow, someone had a big butthole.

Like, wide set ass. Actually, you know where that happened once was head gum in LA. Someone fully left a shit in the toilet one time. And I was like, OK, this is a business space. First of all, we only have one that we do. That's foul. I that must have been after I moved to New York City. If it was after two, no, because it was it was your it was your size. It was your size, exactly in coloring.

You have that really tan, almost a khaki, and it's spelled J. Stop, stop, stop. I'm done medium sized asshole, too. So if it was a medium, well, no, you said it was a large one. So I it was wide set. It was like a heavy load for sure. But the khaki shit, really, Amir, that's going to hold more than the hook. You said you said he was a wide the color of a frappuccino

and consistency of one, too. And it tasted like an Americano. Stop, like a solid log that's just like, yeah. That's I think the thickness of it that you brought up is worse than the coloring that I was referencing. Anyway, it was Jake that didn't flush the toilet. No, it wasn't. That's actually good. That was a good that could be a good compromise.

It's like, you don't have to flush. You just have to wash. So then you wash and I'll go in there and I'll get a little toilet with my mouth. But I get to wear a grind guard. I get to wear a grind guard. All right, that's it. That's our show. I think we help a lot of people out, yeah, in terms of singing and other. Yeah, how about for the closing theme song? It's not really a theme song, but we end.

Can we end the episode with one of the songs from tourist season? Yeah, please do. That would be fun. OK, which one? Which song can you harmonize with it, Amir? Yes, I will ruin the song, but we'll play it at the end of the podcast. Which one should I would say I'll be holding has the best drop at the top. So if you're playing the beginning of a song, I would go with that one. OK, and if I'm playing the whole damn thing, still I'll be holding. Or should I not play the whole thing?

You might want tour season for the whole thing. For the whole thing, tour season, tourist season. The titular track. It's Jake's call out. Thanks, Jake. I love tour season. I also love I'll be fine, but I think tour season is my. Oh, thanks, fellas. I love quick sidebar.

Fellers is fellow short for fellers. Yes. OK, great. Thanks, fellas. Thanks, yeah. Thanks, Miel and thanks to you guys for listening. If you have any questions or theme songs, send them all down to if I were you. Show at gmail.com. And again, this is I'll be holding or tourist season. Which one did we decide on?

You chose. You choose. We got to go tour season from the album tour season out now. Thanks, Miel. Thank you. No, this is what I wanted. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no Let movin' on To прив season hasn't even started yet

Worth the fuck was I thinking when I let down No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No one, no one, no one I got what I wanted Said that you hate it When I say goodbye Now I'm, he's screaming All your favorite songs

To be seasoned hasn't even started yet What the fuck was I thinking when I left No one, no one, no one This is what I wanted No one, no one, no one I got what I wanted No one, no one