If I Were You - 459: Night Terrors

Episode Date: October 26, 2020

In this episode we discuss undecided voters, Zoom crushes, and infiltrating your roommates dreams.Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a Hit Gum Original. Many things were left unclear. My dad's always gone, should I just ask you to? This could be the one last chance to get the right advice. If I were you, a podcast host is about to do. To try to make you laugh, sometimes you'll be put on blast. If I were you, it's email, check, end of year. Have you been changed your name to make sure you can keep your anonymity?

Yes, dude. Did you recognize that one? Yes, I did. I'd do anything parody by the band, the Canadian Pop-Punk Band. Simple plan, that is right. Wow. The original song actually features a verse from the one and the only Mark Hoppus. Really?

Yes. So he just hopped on Hoppus Hop. He hopped on and he did a little cameo. He spit a verse for the song. It's incredible. It's a great song. It's great EP. It's an album.

What else can I say? Simple plan. It was God's plan for that band to exist. Anyway, that was by Hiro Soga. Hiro Soga. Hiro Soga, very nice. He was one of the lucky ones to get in on textjake.com beta and got some texting advice from Jake. That advice led to a relationship that's celebrating a six-year anniversary in November.

Congrats. Congrats, indeed. Do you remember what you told him to say? Yeah, I do. I told him to do anything. I do anything just to hold you in my arms. Okay, sorry. Were there any female pop punk bands?

It's always from the point of view of this greasy 21-year-old begging to be a boyfriend. Are there any other points of view in pop punk? Pop punk is so funny because all of it is skinny little loser boys saying how they would appreciate the hot guy's girlfriend more. Yeah. Your boyfriend, he don't know anything about you. But I stalk you and I know all of your favorite ice cream flavors and I swear I would wait on you handed food. That's what you want, right? I appreciate that.

No, I want to be with the athlete. Thank you, though. He does touchdowns. You're scrawny. You're right. I make up everything, right? For you. Oh, God.

Your voice sucks, too. I guess it's all like 14-year-old scrawny people who become musicians pining after the hot lady at school. Correct. But Avril Lavigne was a pop punk female musician. Oh, that's cool. Skater boy. She was just a skater boy. Yeah.

And I guess for some reason she wrote a song about the unpopular guy liking the popular girl. It's just a theme. He was a skater boy. She said, see you later, boy. He wasn't good enough for her. So it was about a musician trying to be cool or something? I think, no, because Avril in that song is just like a popular girl, I think. Yeah.

She had a pretty face, but her head was off in space. She needed to come back down to earth, she sings. Got it. Yeah. This guy, Hero Soga, also has a Twitter account. I can be your hero spelled H-I-R-O. I love it. So there you go.

He says, if you want to read some sad tweets about the Philadelphia Eagles, you can follow him. I can be your hero. Thank you, Hero Soga. Thank you. Thank you indeed. This is if I were you, the only advice show on the web, hosted by us. I'm Amir. I am Jake.

We're two weeks out from the election. We said that if Trump wins this, that'll be our last episode. Yeah. Yeah. So this might be the penultimate or maybe tri-ultimate, which means the third to last word I just invented. Yeah. I coined it for this show. That's good.

The tri-ultimate. You spent this weekend in Pennsylvania canvassing homes for Joseph R. Biden. And Kamala Harris indeed. I was knocking on doors, taking names. Getting out the boat. What is that? Yeah. What does that entail?

How did you know where to knock? So they, first of all, I did no research for this. I'm not a good person, but Sarah Schneider and Mike Carnell told me about it and I said that I wanted to go. So where I signed up was, let me see. Do you remember where I signed up? Don't sell yourself short. You drove to Pennsylvania and knocked on doors.

It doesn't matter whose idea it was. That's true. I think I did. It was through mobilize.us. Yeah, like back to blue events, whatever. No, I shouldn't say whatever. That's what it was. Back to blue events.

I don't know why I'm trying to minimize it. Yes, mobilize.us, back to blue PA. That's what I did. They give you addresses that you have to drive to and knock on doors? Yeah. So you sign up, you then do an hour or two long training video. It's like a zoom thing. There was 300 people there.

A guy told us how it works. They send you a script that you read. There's five questions that you want to ask everybody. And then when you get there, you check in. They give you a little code. There's an app that you download. You put in the code and then that gives you a list of addresses and names and people that live there and a little five block radius

to walk around and knock. We knocked on like 56 doors, talked to 41 people. They're all, for the most part, like registered Democratic voters, like people who they think they have a chance with convincing to get out there and vote. There were a couple independents and a couple undecideds and then a couple houses where there was a Democrat and a Republican registered.

So tell me about these undecideds who are still a little bit on the fence about whether or not they like Trump or Biden or do they like them both so much they just can't figure out which one they want to order. That was the most rewarding conversation that I had when I actually talked to a true undecided independent voter. I never thought I could see one. But it's just people that hate them both?

Yeah, it's people that hate them both and also people that hate. It's like you don't necessarily hate the Red Sox, but you hate Boston fans. I hate liberals that are ruining and looting and destroying those liberal cities, and I don't want them to be happy either. So I think this guy was getting a lot of information from Fox News where they cherry pick one crazy thing

that somebody on the fringe left does and then assign that to Joe Biden. So this guy was like, oh, the left is insane, and Trump is insane, but everybody's fucking crazy. And I don't want all of these crazy left policies happening. And I was just like, I'm friends with so many people that are super, super liberal, and they hated Joe Biden when he was nominated.

He's not a guy. Everybody was mad. So go for the candidate that pissed off the left and is also not insane. That's good. Yeah. And then were you able to talk and convince her? He's like, yeah, whatever, we'll talk later.

No, he was a very rational dude who wanted to talk about this, and I felt like maybe just needed a safe place to talk shit about both extremes in the parties. And I was just like, I mean, I sort of lied and like postured myself as an equally independent minded guy. Like, yeah, you know, I think they're crazy too, but like what I'm really trying to,

what I want to avoid is just all of the polarization, all of the fighting. Everything is just so tense, and I just want a candidate that simmers it all down. So, yeah, it felt like we made a connection. That was very rewarding. That's cool. And then how much do you end up giving him cash wise

to vote for Joe? If you don't mind me asking. I know this is sort of a touchy subject in terms of... At the end of the day, I then mowed him $5,000 to vote Joe, and I said there's another 5K on the way once you send me a photo of your ballot on the day. And if he wins, you get a 20% voting bonus from Soros himself. That's right.

The other thing that I would say about this though, aside from like it being rewarding to like try to change somebody's mind, was like, I just feel like we're all in the same circles. I have the same political conversations with my friends who all agree with me and we think things are crazy and all that stuff. And it just feels like there's a lot of... What am I trying to say?

It feels like you're just in your small little universe, your echo chamber, but talking to like older Democrats, like 50, 60-year-old Democrats who also hate Trump, but like for their own reasons and who live in Pennsylvania and are pumped. And it's just like... It was exciting to see that it's not just my like 10 friends

against the entire political world that there's like other people that don't have a lot in common with us, but that also agree with us. So that was fun. Yeah, if only Trump... Trump's own undoing is how much he like loves himself. Like if he just talked less, I'm sure a lot of these people who hate both sides wouldn't hate him as much.

That's the grand irony. Like all of these rallies and weird press conferences that he does that he thinks is helping is probably the one reason that is fucking him over. Right, it's a little disturbing to see how easily he would just walk away with the election if he was smarter. Like he's the worst guy ever and he still might win, but like barely.

Not even smarter, just quieter. Like just don't say masks are bad. He'll be good to go. He's like, I can't not do that. Or like stop retweeting anything. There's no more RTs. At least me. Yeah.

Then you won't accidentally retweet a white supremacist again. But the problem is being himself is what won him the first election. So like nobody... I don't think anybody can tell him otherwise because he'd be like, hey, it worked in 2016. Right. It also might work in 2020. So let's...

Yeah. But they... Let's get out there and vote. And they did say a lot of these people that I talked to in Pennsylvania who had already voted or who had like tried to go to the courthouse to drop their ballots off, they're like, it is insane even now, like even early voting. They like, they literally...

There were lines just to like drop off their early ballot. Yeah. And they say like most early voters are for Biden. Like is Trump not like trying to get people to vote early or just like a Democratic talk? Well, his strategy is to get people to not vote when less people vote, the Republicans win. And when more people vote, Democrats win

because more people align with those principles. But they... So the strategy is to just like start saying that everything's fraudulent. Fraudulent now. That's the goal. It's fraudulent right up until the point where he wins Pennsylvania and Wisconsin again somehow and then wins the presidency and then it was fine.

Then it was the biggest electoral victory in history since the last time he did it. There's a question that we got about arguing politics on Facebook. So let's answer this one. Maybe it's very appropriate right now. Cool. This is from a lady who will call Elizabeth Warren. Lately, writes Elizabeth,

I've been somewhat consumed with politely arguing with strangers on Facebook. I see ignorant comments about not wearing masks or people believing racism or white privilege isn't real. And it drives me crazy when I see strangers or my dad's Facebook friends commenting extremely ignorant things like anti-mask rhetoric. I feel compelled to post links from the CDC to try to wake them up to the facts that the virus simply isn't political.

But my thought is, what if I could change just one person's mind if I politely show them the facts? My fiance thinks I'm just wasting my time because most of these people are lost cause. Should I ignore the urge to comment every time I see an extremely ignorant comment? What if these people don't have anyone in their lives to challenge their racist and or anti-mask way of thinking? Well, what do you think?

Do you think that arguing on Facebook is a waste of time? Yeah, I mean, it's the same way that like I tweet anti-Trump jokes. I just, I feel like it's not changing anybody's mind, but it feels better for me. So maybe it feels better for her to like, she can't just stand idly by. She needs to like, it needs to pour out of her. She needs to say something.

Yeah, I guess the thing I would say is that it's like, maybe resetting what your expectations are for engaging in that type of thing. You probably won't change any hearts and minds, but there are like alternate effect, or there are like side, side effects that are, that are still positive, like trickle down positivity. You might have like friends of theirs on,

on that thread, see your point and maybe that registers or you might have friends of yours that see your point and they like realize that your ideals align more. You might just be giving people language in their arguments that they're having with their friends and family. So I think that like, if you think about like all of your engaging online as, will I change this person's mind? Then it's, it is like, it'll feel like a waste of time.

But if you think of it as like serving a greater good, just a general discourse, I think that's, I don't know. If you want to do it, I think there's ways to feel like it's positive. And if it's exhausting you, then just, you know, I don't think you're going to change anybody's mind if that's posting that masks are bad. They're gone.

Yeah. Well, yeah, that's true. I agree with that sentiment where it's like, you might not change their mind, but maybe somebody out there is on the fence about thinking white privilege is real. It's like, all right, maybe I will look into the fact that most black people do think white privilege is real.

So maybe they're on to something here. So you might not change like everybody's mind, just like nobody can change your mind about the opposite that masks are helpful. Maybe there's some people in the middle who are just lurking that you might be able to convince otherwise. Yeah, they're, and I think that even, I think that people like right up until the point

where they're posting that masks aren't real on Facebook, they're still, they're still gettable. And this, bringing it back to the one single guy I talked to in Pennsylvania, I think that like, meeting people where they are instead of being like, you have to be as liberal as possible. I think that's like the way, that's the way to like change hearts and minds.

We don't need anybody to like meet us all the way on the left right now. All we need is for people to like believe in science and not elect a Nazi. That's all, the bar is low. So you don't have to be like... First things first. Yeah.

Don't meet me all the way on the left. Just meet me in the Joe Biden moderate left. Just for now, and then we can work on them. Right. We don't have to abolish police yet. We just have to think that masks could possibly assist in not transmitting the virus. That's how far gone the fucking right is, right?

That's, that is crazy. Yeah. I mean, I'm also on the fence. I'm heading onto my ballot. Of course. Let's keep having these interesting conversations and we'll see where it nets out. Because at the same time, like 50 cents said,

I don't want to be 20 cent. Huh? He was complaining about the taxes being so high. So I thought that was kind of a funny line. That is good. That is pretty good. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Let's take a break, answer some more questions and we'll be back after these words. Yes. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this headgum podcast. You know, Aura Frames is sponsoring not just this episode, but the entire headgum network, Jake. Wow.

That's correct. I mean, this might be the Goat Father's Day gift. I think it actually is. Yeah. Yeah, not just Father's Day, but if for any not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon, these digital photo frames might be the best of all time.

Yeah. For me personally, these things are perfect. I'll tell you why. As you know, I am expecting my first child. We got one for Jill's parents. Oh, wow. We got one for Jill's grandma. Holy smokes.

We got one for my parents. So there are three of these bad boys in our family right now, but they're great, really easy way to like stay in touch with your family. You can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen. It's really nice. Oh, that's cool.

So you take a photo of anything, perhaps a baby, and then it goes to their digital photo frame. Yeah. This is actually how we told Jill's grandma she was pregnant. We got her the aura frame. We plugged it in. Jill's grandma was pregnant. Really nice asshole.

This was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife. And you're trying to make a joke of it. I was just being goofy a little bit like, this is how I told my grandma she was pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of like she misheard it or something like that. Or the way you said it was kind of like, could go either way.

By the way, Jill's grandma is pregnant. Oh my God. Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant. It's pretty cool. And you told me with a digital photo frame. Holy smokes. And we let her know with an aura. Yeah.

Thank you. The aura announcement. So you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the aura app. Add me to your aura app. I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something. That could be funny. Yeah.

Like your banana or your dog alongside pictures of my daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You deserve that. You can even preload photos and add a personal video message that will display as soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame. Yeah.

It's a great gift. A really, really iconic gift. And right now you can save on the perfect Father's Day gift and visit AuraFrames. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com. And our listeners can use code HEADGUM to get up to $30 off plus free shipping on the best selling frames. There it is.

Oh, wow. This is timely. The deal ends on June 18th. So don't wait. Terms and conditions apply. That's AuraFrames. A-U-R-A-Frames.com. Okay.

Go get your parents something. All right. And use the code HEADGUM for $30 off plus free shipping. Right on. Thank you, Aura. And now back to the HEADGUM podcast you were listening to. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Thank you, BetterHelp.

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If I were you, check them out. Thanks, BetterHelp. And we're back. Jake, do you have any? Oh, let's do this. Yes. Yes. You know, I do just to put an exclamation point on our voting chat.

You can check out headcount.org slash head gum because we are partnering with headcount to make sure that you have all of the information, all of the resources, all of the support you need to vote on or before Election Day and vote for the good guy, vote for Joe Biden, vote for Kamala Harris. That's cool. Yeah, we might know on like, like if Florida just falls for Biden pretty early on, that'd be cool. It's like, oh, it's 9pm and we sort of know who's going to win the election.

That'd be nice. God damn. That'd be nice. It's not that. It's supposedly likely to happen. Like, yeah, that's odds are that's what will happen, but we're so gun shy. We're so scared from 2016, which I guess is a good attitude to have. Right.

All right. Here's another question for you. Okay. This one is about Zoom classrooms. Zoom classrooms. A 23 year old Canadian. So we'll call him Wayne Gretzky. I'm a 23 year old Canadian, writes Wayne, living it up Opa Corona style.

I recently met a smoke show dime piece in a Zoom class and we've been hitting it off pretty well to be frank. The issue, she lives one province over because of COVID and I'm running out of tissues. Now that the class that we were taking is over, it's much harder to keep in touch. How can I keep things interesting when we only talk over Zoom? Cheers. Love. Wayne.

Okay. Are they, they're just flirting and he wants to keep things interesting or they're like, they're not dating, right? Yeah. I think he met. So if someone's in a Zoom class, you can like privately message them. That's like the equivalent of writing a note, I guess. Wow.

That's kind of crazy. Yeah. Like, you know, a different game. Like, can you imagine? Yeah. It must be, I don't know if it's easier or harder because like back in the day, if there was a cute person in your class and you wanted to like befriend them, you have to like hope to God that the teacher puts you in a group together or sit nearish but not next to and

hope that something happens. Yeah. You would need to get their like AIM screen name and an official capacity to talk about an assignment and then, and then transition that into a flirtatious capacity and like, yeah. No, that's, I mean, and that was like, that was what we dealt with. Imagine like grandparents or just like, um, yeah, we're at like a USO show and I need to ask, I need to ask you to marry me tonight or this opportunity is gone.

Yeah. Even when we were in college, like I didn't have a laptop. Did you? Um, yeah. I did. You fucking diesel. You old ass fucking, you boomer. The odds, the idea of me showing up to a class and like taking out a notebook and frantically

taking notes feels so archaic, but that's how I learned everything that I know in my life. Yeah. Oh, I didn't like, let me write down what you're saying. Right. So like the teacher would teach and I would write down the notebook things that they were saying. I did have a laptop that sounds so old school.

It's crazy. I had a laptop, but I did not bring it to class because it was too heavy. So like I was doing the same exact thing. Writing down what the teacher is saying like frantically and there were like courses like that would teach you like, what's the best way to take notes and like, are you listening or are you writing it down? Do you just take the full notes? There's no way that that's was a good way to learn, right?

Like now your teacher is just like, yeah, I'll send you the entire plan. It's all email. That's a PDF. Here's like, all of the, the documents are here, shareable. You can add notes onto the pages themselves. Like. But you probably learn less if there's somebody like sends you a PDF versus like me writing down that PDF.

Well, I know, I know I would, but I feel like if people are, if you're hell bent on learning, if you're a person that wants an education, I feel like now you could definitely get a much better one, much more robust than like the ones we had at our disposal. I think I was like, I was predetermined by destiny to not give a fuck about school no matter what era I was born in. So it's not like, oh man, I wish I had a computer. I would have, I would have learned more. Like if I had a computer in class, I would have been completely fucked, completely fucked.

But if somebody wants to learn, I think you could learn real, real nice with like a, with a MacBook Air on your lap instead of a marbled composition book. Or a college ruled notebook in a big, do you have a pen? I didn't bring a pen. I'm afraid if she'll talk, I won't be able to write down shit. And if I don't write down anything, I won't memorize it for sure. I have a code where a dash means the. Did you remember learning about Wi-Fi?

Like when was the first time you were like, holy shit, I can get internet without having to plug in my laptop. I think that we had Wi-Fi in like our common area, like my freshman year or something. There was like Wi-Fi somewhere, but I, it like, I was like, I remember thinking about it and being like, I'll never understand that. And I guess I still don't. But now I'm just like, I definitely take it for granted everywhere I am. I'm just like, let's see if there's Wi-Fi.

But at the time I'm like, no, that's, that couldn't possibly work. My computer, you need the cord to get the internet. Ethernet. Yeah. Yeah. And so your computer freshman year was a laptop. It wasn't like a huge tower that you'd plugged in. With the, the, the like the internet itself. And your computer and your dorm, I think the computer in my dorm, I mean, it was my laptop, but I just, and like the jack came out of the wall.

There wasn't, there was not like a visible router that I can remember or anything like that. Yeah. Yeah. You just like, there was like an ethernet port that you just plugged in the wall to your computer. Otherwise you're fucked. Forget about it. Yeah. God, it's so weird to think about it. Anyway, this person is flirting over Zoom. Oh, right.

All right. This guy, this is just 15 years later. This person has to stay at home and learn online because of a deadly pandemic was Zoom messaging with this babe. Right. But you're in the heyday and wants to keep things alive. That's the most interesting, that's like the most easy way to flirt imaginable. You don't have to like keep a conversation going. You don't have to like keep a text thread active. Like everything's at your disposal.

You've got, yeah, you've got YouTube links. You've got gifts. You've got articles. You've got like photos, videos, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram. You can share all this stuff all over Zoom all the time. You got links, sending links, sharing information. That's, you don't necessarily have to, you don't have to have or get a person's number because you can just find them in the Zoom and privately message them.

Yeah. That's a little invasive, but you know, that's where we are, I guess. Yeah. Seems risky. It's, yeah, it's like, it is like power that we shouldn't have. Just like any, any cute girl in your class, you're like, oh, I can private message them. That God, God. What a talk time. I don't have any private messages. She's kind of, she's just like popping up the entire class.

Definitely. Hey, hi, I noticed you, LOL. For anyone that's, for anyone that's doing that, they should know that they are one of like 40 messages they're getting like in a day. Like you, you feel like it feels like a big deal to you because you're like, I'm going to send my one message, but you're not the only one. So yeah, keep that in your heart. All right. One last question.

By the way, do you watch that, the, that West Ham Hotspur game? I texted you about it. Did you watch a recap? No, I only saw the highlight of the great equalizer at the end in extra time. Oh my God. What a, can you imagine you're up three nothing. And in the last eight minutes of a game, it's, it goes to three, three.

I mean, those irons, they really, yeah, they don't, they don't give up. They, they stole a point from those spurs. And what a screamer, an absolute equalizer. Right in the bin. Yeah. I mean, that was just a magnificent strike. It absolutely was a magnificent strike. You know, it was so cool to see it.

Come on, you irons. Yeah. Well, I also like, for some reason, I tech, I don't know. I, I texted you when they were up three, nothing to rub it in your face. You're not even really a West Ham fan. And I like, I just sort of dabbled in knowing about them a year ago. Yeah. I don't know why. It's like, if, if anybody is a Hotspur fan out there, the reason they lost is my fault because they tried to troll Bloominfeld,

who didn't care. I gloated about a sport I've yet to watch. Sorry, I'm a Dodgers fan now. Go Brooklyn trolley Dodgers in the World Series. Let's do this. All right. One last question. OK. This is from a lady who lives with two female roommates.

So we'll call her AOC. Oh, nice. My name is AOC, and I live with two female roommates in an apartment. The problem I'm emailing you about is that one of my roommates has pretty much stopped sleeping. Most nights, she stays up as long as possible until evening the next day, then passes out until she has to stay up all night again. While in itself, that isn't that strange.

Why she stays up adds a scary element to the mix. She has horrible murder nightmares. Yes, every night that she says she falls asleep, she has vivid dreams of murdering famous celebrities, especially Sebastian Stan of the Marvel movies. On occasion, she has nightmares of myself and other roommate Marissa being as she describes brutally murdered and she is left alive to mourn us. I don't know if it's better that when I'm being involved

when she isn't the one committing the murder, but I think it's strange nonetheless. I am not an active dreamer, but I don't know how I can help her or if I should somehow warn Sebastian Stan about what's happening. Thanks, love, AOC. Are you a Sebastian Stan? We stan Sebastian in this house. I know I do. Who's Sebastian Stan? I've never even heard that.

The Winter Soldier. Sebastian Stan. Great name. Yeah, he's hot. He's fucking sexy. He's a smoke show and he's got a fucking cool ass iron arm. OK, all right. Wow, he's older than me.

Is he? Sebastian Stan. I would have guessed that's the name of a musician. Anyway, yeah. Do you have murder nightmares? You ever dream vivid evil things? I guess I mean, I definitely have had like scary dreams. I don't really have nightmares. I basically only have sex dreams.

That's the only thing that I dream about. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it's really it's perfect. It's it's one of the benefits of being me. There's not a lot, but it's yeah. Is that what you sleep 14 hours a day? Oh, yeah, and I'd sleep more if I could. Yeah, I see.

Taking a power nap sort of while we're talking to you mean a power fap. Nice. Thank you. Do you have nightmares? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I have nightmares where like I'm chewy. Like I feel myself grinding and like it works itself into a dream. Like I'm trying to like chew on a can or chew on a ball. And it's like hard and like hurting my gums.

And I wake up and like, oh, wow, thank God, I have a grind guard. This thing is getting used. The other day I had a dream where a basketball player was trying to kiss me. And I'm like, no, no, no, I don't want to get kissed. And I like I was like half asleep and I was like, you know, sleep paralysis. So like I can't move in real life. So I couldn't move in the dream. That's I've never gotten sleep paralysis either.

That seems scary as hell. My brother gets it, he says. Like that's what a what a fucking freaky thing. Yeah, it's like halfway to sleep walking, but your body won't move fortunately, because otherwise you would stand up and move and punch things. So like you're just like lifeless, stuck in your body, unable to move, which manifests itself into not being able to move in the dream. Yeah, that's scary.

I guess maybe I've had some I've had dreams where like like, I can't like, you know, someone's chasing you and you're just you just want to you're like need to scream. But yeah, you can't scream like or you're being like murdered in public and you can yell, but your your voice won't come out. Yeah, it comes out a little bit. Yeah. And like sometimes it was like. That's like the equivalent of you screaming.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, like talking in your sleep. But yeah, murder nightmares, roommate that won't fall asleep. Doesn't sound too healthy. Yeah. What can you do? I mean, I think you would tell that person to like see a doctor or a psychiatrist or something. That's like, I think you get medicine for it. I think that yeah, I think I don't know if there's like advice thing there.

It seems like a more deep seated issue, right? Yeah. And there's no way like you can't possibly infiltrate her dreams or something like that, right? How would you do that? Right. Now I'm saying, how would you do that? Like, unless you found like a it's not even we're talking about, but like a portal of sorts that lets you enter her consciousness in a way because you can't. Your advice is to look for a portal that lets you enter your roommate's subconscious.

That's actually not a terrible idea. That's your idea. If you find it is. Yeah, like if you can almost whisper to her when she's in this sleep state, you can almost like enter her subconscious in a way from the living, breathing world, or as I call it, the life world into the dark. You can almost find yourself within her nightmare trying to coach her way out of this weird in a sort of this is a movie. Lucid. This is this is a movie where a mere

balloon felt infiltrates your nightmares. Meanwhile, I'm just going to fucking kill Sebastian Stan. Because then what if Stan is dead and gone? No more nightmares about killing him, right? Yeah, I guess, but so someone can actually someone has to do something about this guy. Yeah, or a soldier. Yeah, of sorts.

Yeah, no, I just for the record, I think Sebastian Stan is awesome. And I would never heard him. Yeah, I think Sebastian Stan is the Sebastian man. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. Don't worry about her murder nightmares. That's her problem. That's her issue. It's her cross to bear. Yeah, I guess like caring about your roommate's problems

is is a little bit of you don't have to do that. I mean, it's too bad that this is happening to your roommate. And I do think that she should see or talk to someone. But this is not on you. It's not your family. It's not your significant other. And it's not you. It's just a person that you live with.

And that's that's just got to be fine. So she tells you about the dreams and you're like, that sucks to hear. But ultimately, that's not my brain to have. Well, I guess, yeah, because I I don't think that there's any solution aside from killing Sebastian Stan, the portal thing or going to a doctor. So I think like those are the three options. Obviously, going to the doctor is probably the easiest.

Yeah, a dream doctor of sorts. Yeah, a witch doctor. You need to go to a witch doctor. Some sort of a hedge shrinker. All right, cool. Good luck. Have fun. Sleep well. Dream well more than anything. All right, opening theme song was written once again by Hiro.

This closing one is by Matthew, who's doing a lion sleeps tonight pair. I love this song. Is this like a classic song where anybody can sing it or was it like actually made by one person and the lion sleeps tonight is credited to one singer that I don't know. I think it's credited to a singer that you don't know. Let's see. What is what's an equivalent song? Do you mean like row row row your boat is like doesn't have like a real author or does it? Yeah.

Or like similarly, like Hallelujah has like 40 renditions. But I think like Leonard Cohen did it first. Right. So I think that I think it's it's along the lines of Leonard Cohen. We're like somebody. This is someone's song. Yeah, originally written and recorded by Solomon Linda. Great name. Oh, Wimbledon. Yeah, exactly.

But this version is by Matt. So you have your own theme song, send them to if I were you show at gmail.com or your own questions. Same email address. We're also still making videos, bonus content on our Patreon, patreon.com. J.A. So you can watch more over there. Oh, yeah. And then, Jake, what's your Twitter account? You should promote yourself a little bit more on this show. I feel like people don't really know the real you as it were.

They can follow me on Facebook. I'm not going to. I mean, just let's. Facebook dot com slash. Let's not publicly pressure me to share my personal information on the podcast. Don't you have a right? Don't you have a deviant art? I don't have it. Like portfolio.

Which doctor? Her with sixty nine on deviant. Yeah, I've started to do sketches there. So yeah, check them out. Crude little pencil drawing. And we'll be back next week. Bye, everybody later. A wee and bow it.

A wee and bow it. Wee. Nice. If I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you. Is What For You, If I Were You, If I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you. On this podcast, this dope-ass podcast, you'll learn to seize the cheese. If on this podcast is Hanfield Podcast, just ask whatever you please. If I were you If I were you

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