If I Were You - 484: Antisocial Distance (w/Avital Ash!)

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

Actor/Writer/Lover Avital Ash joins us to discuss nicknames, whistling, and her new web series, Antisocial Distance!Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum original. He tells me what to do with my exes, bling, if I were you. Here's what I would do if I were you. Here's what I would do. Ooh, groovy. Cat Steven. Barry. Sheep.

Hello. I love that. I'll be tall as crying. Oh my god. It's so moving. No, it's probably something. It must have been something you did earlier. I've never made you cry like that.

No, you don't say anything beautiful. Damn. Shout out to Lucas who wrote that song. Great album. That was by a band called Sven in Canada. Actually, it was by Lucas and him and his roommates have a band called Sven in Canada. That's a good band name. Yeah, Sven.

It also sounds like a made up boyfriend you have is Sven in Canada. Here's a photo of him, but it's only from a magazine because Sven is a model. It's the only one I have. It is fun to say Sven, the S into the V. We don't get that in English. Yeah, Sven. That's good. Alrighty, Sven. Nice.

I hate myself. I coached her through that joke. He spent three hours. It was crisp. Yeah. All right. So it's Jim Carrey in Sweden. He goes around sort of saying, Alrighty, Sven.

If you want to listen to more Sven, it's Svenband.bandcamp.com. Okay. Huge J and A fans and they're marathoning the whole series. They're on complete viewing number 27 now. Holy shit. What's J and A? Is that Jillian and Avi Tal or? Holy shit.

I never really thought about that. That's interesting. What else can it be? We both found another A and another J. That's how self-centered we are. It really would be better if I was with not this exact Avi Tal. Okay. Well, you know, actually fine.

I would swing. Yeah. I mean, you were going to go seek out another Avi Tal. Well, I didn't know if it would be more offensive to suggest the trade. The trade. Not a trade. Not a trade. Switch.

Switch. No, not even a switch. Now I'm nervous. I do think that I'm more the Jake and Jillian is more the Amir. So like it all makes sense. We're balanced. Yeah. We found the personality balance for sure.

Avi Tal and I would be a destructive force for the universe. I agree. Yeah. You guys suck. Amir and Jillian would be like very peaceful. Yeah. That sounds fine. But bored.

Probably bored. Not really. Bored. Yeah. Don't say me and Avi Tal would suck. Boring people are not bored. I feel like we would be. Me and Avi Tal would be a power couple.

Yeah. It's like two fire signs. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. With anyone. Even. Yeah.

I feel like Jill would kind of probably be single if you and her were together. Because she would put up with your shit. You mean single. Why are you trying to hit on Jill? This is so fucked up. Yeah. What are you doing? You brought up swinging.

It's written on your palm. That's the only note you brought. Swinging. Yeah. Sven and swinging. Swinging. Nice. Really came out swinging.

A lot of nice. Can you tell we lived together and haven't been apart for a year and a half straight? We share a brain now. Yeah. It's awful. It used to be with Jake. We used to live together and just make the same jokes back and forth through each other. Yeah.

Staring into a mirror or now it's me and you living together. Making jokes saying nice. Then another joke saying nice. Then until we fall asleep. Wake up. Repeat the process. Also there was something this morning. Now all of a sudden I was like lip something because I think he's going to say it.

I was like what was that? I'm like oh it's what I thought you were going to say. I don't want to say it because I think it's annoying but I want him to know that I was aware that he was going to say it. What was the one this morning? Do you remember? It was like 10 minutes ago. Yeah.

I said huge and then you said huge. Oh my mouth. It's true. It's true. I was waiting for a mirror. Oh yeah. It's true. There we go.

Great. Do you have any jokes that you usually say with your lover? With Jill? Yeah. If not that's okay. Do you guys have nicknames? No. Did I already ask you that?

Okay. Two answers. I do have, we have like kind of pet names. We just say J. So like I'll say J and Jill say J because both of our names start with J. Do you guys ever do that? It's cute and unfree. Hey J. Yeah.

We'll say J too. Hey J. Hey J. A really bad dumb couple joke that we do is often like whatever we cooked I'll say that it tastes a lot like the exact food. Like if Jill makes like a bean stew I'll be like this is really beanie. That's not, it's not really a joke but it's a cute thing to say. Well let us decide if it's cute because you don't get to say that.

Yeah. I don't know if it's cute to say beanie. What about if a punch up instead was like oh this tastes just like bean stew as if it's like an imitation. Actually tell us all your couples jokes and we'll sort of punch them up. We'll make them a little bit better. Yeah sure thing. Let me see.

The J thing works. Sometimes if I fart I have a reaction that I think Jill is going to have so I'll fart and I'll be like come on stop it. That's gross. Gross. I didn't remember this but Amir told me this morning that in the middle of the night he farted and it woke me up and I was like what was that? Did you hear that?

Like someone was in the house. Did it wake you up the fart or did you fart and you were awake? I asked this question too. I think I was like half like rolling over. I'm like oh I have to fart. I fart. Avi Tal goes oh my god did you hear that? I was like yeah.

I tooted. Jay. You can't. You can't. I mean that's like literally stealing the nicks and it's not even stealing like the essence of it. Well my middle name is Jay J-A-Y so it sort of makes sense. Interesting.

She was named after the critic Jay Sherman so that's why I was middle named Jay. Jay Buehner the baseball player. But Jay is cute. Do you think it's like Jay period or like J-A-Y? Just Jay. I feel like it's from our I think it's a whole or it's like inspired from our wedding invites which were like I wrote a capital J and Jill wrote a lowercase J and that was like our little like I don't know art on the invite or something.

You wrote the capital J did you notice that? I was just about to say she's like serving to you. I couldn't stop thinking about that. The capital. How you're the capital J. And she's diminutive. She's a little lowercase J. She's got to be small next to you.

Yeah. And she's cursive. She shrinks around you. Like that was not the intention or the implication but looking back on it now it feels right. That's funny because she said she was the uppercase J. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting.

And yeah she tried to write. She wrote an uppercase J but I swapped it when I sent it to the printer. She said you are a lowercase R. Really? Yeah. For radish. You're a little radish man. For like a tiny little Ralph because it makes her want a Ralph when she looks at me.

Yeah. All right. We don't have nicknames for each other if you were wondering. Yeah that's why that came up. Well that's because you guys aren't married yet or you're not even in like unless. It comes. Was that why is that why we had Avital on the show? No.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Get down on my knee. Oh my god. Get down. Do it right. Get down on the knee. I don't have.

I'm not prepared for this. I didn't plan like that. Shearing ear buds so if he tries to get on his knee it'll come down. Okay. All right. So I guess that's the only reason that the proposal might be put on hold. First of all you wanted to swing like eight. She does.

Yeah. We're doing it. Let me call Jay in here. Oh my gosh she has a ring. She has streamers. She has confetti and rice. We haven't even started the show yet. Jesus.

What's the next 48 minutes like if it starts with that? I changed my mind. Planning a wedding. I don't think I want to go through with it. I don't think I'm ready. This is based on, this has got to journalism. He brought it up. Fuck.

He set us up and now he's getting off to us breaking up. I'm sorry. You must be so disappointed but I just think it's sort of jumping the gun a little bit. Yeah. I mean I didn't want to do anything. What? Not that I did. Jay tall is the capital A in your relationship.

Not the lower case Jay. Because we're on the same frequency. Yeah. Big day and big A over here. Big A. That's a good name for you. Big A energy. Energy.

I have it. We are breaking up for sure after this conversation. Yeah. But wait for the end. That way people stay on the hook until the end of the episode for the big breakup. Yeah. All right. This is if I were you, an advice show.

After all, I know you don't listen to it but basically how it works. It's the only advice show on the internet hosted by me and Jake so we take it very seriously. Okay. That's right. Yeah. We do our best to comb through our email for the best questions from real people but we need to give them fake names in order to preserve their anonymity. So like we don't want to have this.

We don't usually dick around this long. We usually get right into it too. Oh really? No. No. That's sort of true. This actually, we're 10 minutes in. This is earlier than average.

Yeah. Fuck. That means we were, I was boring. I'm a regular Amir now. It sucks. You're so bad you're as bad as me. Yeah. I'm like our boring partners, right Jake?

Fuck. Oh, fucking yeah. Jill didn't sign up for this. I can't. She's not here to defend herself. No but she's, you know, I feel like there's something that comes with being Zen, a Zen Sven and like there's an equilibrium that is calming but not exciting always. She's reached Sven.

Yeah. There's a chaos that we bring. Yeah. Right. No, yeah. She's even keel. We're fucking, we're the storm. Yeah, exactly.

I'm even keel and you're eating kale if that makes sense. It doesn't. I feel like even kale people would be eating the kale. All right. I'm a dude who's kind of a stoner type so we need to give him a dude's name that's like a stoner dude. What do you got? Dylan.

That's cool. That's actually a hot person's name. Okay. Last name? Cool. That's really cool actually. Dylan cool. How cool is that?

Yeah. Hey guys, Dylan cool here. I'm a big fan and I need your advice. I'm 26 years old and only started using pot. He's just not cool anymore. He said using pot. I started using pot in the last 18 months. Obviously weed is awesome.

Oh, maybe he's kind of cool again. And I personally prefer it to alcohol to the point where I almost have entirely stopped drinking in favor of a pot infused edible one to two times per week. I enjoy the feeling more and I don't have to deal with hangovers and it's cheap as well. My issue is that the munchies have led me to my waistline expanding. I've always eaten too much food when I'm high and I want to lose weight. My question is how can I avoid getting the munchies while high? I love that this is the question you chose for me because well, I don't know if you chose

it for me, but I am. I do feel like it makes me cool that I've been using drugs since an early age, even though now that I'm in my 30s, it's arguably sad and you're like, oh, I started to eat at 14. I was so cool. Yeah. My parents didn't care about me. Yeah. 12, 13?

That's two very different ages. I was 14. I was young. Eight. You were eight. I was negative three. I had cocaine in utero. My dad is a weed plant.

I think it was 13 or 14. It was eighth grade and I think I was 14 in eighth grade. Now, this really sounds like I'm just trying to one up you, but truly it was for me the first time was the summer between seventh and eighth grade. Wow. There you go. Yeah. I don't know how old you are then.

11. Did you also do it at your friend Tom's house? At what? Your friend Tom's house. Oh, no, I didn't. I remember the house, but I don't know whose it was. We were outside. You were that high.

Yeah. What did you, what was your first apparatus that you smoked out of? The very first one was a joint. I did a crushed coke can with like, you know, you poke the holes in it. Oh my God. We used to, it's so weird because like the easiest and kind, I, I guess kind of the best thing to smoke out of is like a joint or something. Or a bong because it's hard to get by the first time.

Oh my God. I've since, since smoking, like, I think Amir and I were on tour once and we were like at a frat party and I took a hit out of a bong to try to like, you know, be as cool as the frat dudes and it absolutely destroyed me. I like picked my head up and I was like, I have to go home. Bye. I felt cool. This is again, this is so sad that this is like my high school understanding of what

it is to be cool. Like, I'm cool guys, but my little brother told me that he has one friend who thinks I'm the coolest ever because one time they were smoking out of a bong on the side of the house and I came and like cleared it like it was nothing and then left and his friend was like, no girl has ever cleared the green goblin. Green goblin. I'm the first woman to clear the green goblin. Do you know who I am?

I think like 14 and 12 sounds young, but then I imagine my nieces getting high and it's like, that's absurd. Let's like, you might as well be like a little, a little child at that age getting high. So I don't understand what like your parents were probably just as strict as my parents. Yours were more, yours were less and I was too afraid to smoke up until like age 20. Like why, why did it take for me and you guys were like, whatever? Cause Jake and I are chaos in your screen. Chaos.

Yeah. I mean, it's not like my dad was like a police officer and if you ever caught me smoking, he was just like a fun loving guy, but like, I don't know if I watched like an episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles growing up at age like four that like really cemented or like a save by the bell with the, the roach that Johnny Dakota had in the bathroom. He's like, what the hell is this? When Slater finds it? He's like, this is a roach.

Were you offered? Were you offered? Yeah. It's just a roach. It's like, so that's something that nobody likes to smoke here. Were you offered weed? Like when was the earliest you were offered and rejected weed? The first time I saw weed, I was at a party in between ninth and 10th grade.

Like, which I thought was like, holy shit, this is really early on, but it was still later. It's way too soon, guys. Exactly. I'm like, what the fuck are you guys doing? I don't think I have to fucking resist drugs now. Like we're 15, you're getting high. Don't you realize what's going to happen? You saw the fucking save by the bell episode.

You lose things. You lose it all. You lose control. You find the roach. I did turn down weed, believe it or not, before that. Loser. Wow. So it was offered to me early, like on the beach in Miami.

Wow. Yeah. No, I, I accepted it as soon as it was offered. Yeah. But I don't, I don't, I vaguely remember like going there being like, I think I'm going to smoke weed, but I shouldn't. And I'm going to say no, but then it's like there. I'm just like, I have to.

So like I succumbed to peer pressure very early. I really wanted to do mushrooms and was going to this party and there were supposed to be mushrooms. This is again, between seventh and eighth grade and they were out. Oh my God. Everybody ate all the mushrooms. And so my consolation prize was like, I guess I'll smoke weed. So you hadn't smoked weed yet and then you wanted, and you wanted to try mushrooms.

Yeah. That was my number one. That's, that's like really deep dive. That's going in. I mean, hallucinogenics man. You also shot someone. She shot someone in junior high with a fucking gun. Jesus Christ.

What else did I shoot that with? That was crazy. You're so cool. Thank you. I spend most of my life in jail, but I am cool. So to come back to the question, do you guys get the munchies? Oh yeah. Yeah.

Um, I, I guess I, for the most part now, I don't think I, I don't smoke weed at all. Loser. We got them. He admitted it. I sometimes smoke weed when I'm already drunk. So it doesn't feel like I'm feeling the effects. It feels more like I'm evening out the effects of alcohol or something, though that I'm sure it's not true.

Um, but I got munchies more when I was in high school and college. Yeah. And I have not gotten the munchies. You don't get it when you drink and then smoke. I feel like then you're really getting munchies because you're like, or you just pass out. Yeah. I guess I get munchies. I like, when I drink a lot, I like want to eat a lot at the end of the night for sure.

And I also want to eat a lot the next day when I'm hungover because I'm like, I can't really eat and then I want to have an insane lunch. So I guess for this guy, I feel almost like your munchies are just like you want to eat food. Everything. It's better that you're eating food when you're only high than when you're drunk because other, if you're doing that, then it's like calories on calories. That's true.

I feel like this thing that you're doing is, you know, net fine. You could maybe prepare yourself some healthy snacks ahead of time. Who's the nerd now? Actually, some peanut butter on cucumbers will go a long way to have the munchies. You can have some carrots and son-a-lock like you don't fucking get it. We want chips, dude. That was genuinely going to be my advice because everything tastes good when you're high. Even a rice cracker with some cottage cheese.

Honestly, a rice cracker sounds great to me right now. I'm also starving. I like to eat a really dumb lunch today. Yeah. You did have to delay this podcast recording because you said you made an egg. Yeah. There's no food in the house right now. Oh no.

That's the other thing is don't have, if you're trying to not, you're going to get munchies when you get high. I don't think there's like a workaround for that, but just don't have sweets in the house, which is something that I have to do sober because I will eat it all. Yeah. I think that's, I think knowing, having some healthy, like know that you want to eat. You don't have to be like, I'm not going to eat. Like you'll eat.

You're going to eat something. So prep that ahead of time. Like get healthier snacks to have in your house or like have a go-to restaurant that you order from that has something that's like slightly healthier than the garden. Or shoot up heroin. So you're, you have something sort of that's an appetite suppressant to balance out. Oh my God. You are cool.

Thank you. Getting cooler and cooler. Actually, what was your go-to munchie when you were younger? On the corner right near where I grew up, there was a combo, Dunkin Donuts, Subway and fuck, what was the third? Baskin Robbins. I can't believe that should have been the number one all in the same spot in the corner. So that was like the go-to.

Whatever you're in the mood for. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. I would go there and get like a vegan wrap or something from Subway. I would be so high. Yeah. You said you didn't smoke till you were 20.

So that's like, that's like, what is it, junior year of college? Yeah. I actually have a funny story the first time. I don't know if I've told this before. The first time I got high was my high school friends always wanted me to get high because I never got high and they're like, you'd be so funny. You'd be so great. Just promise me you'll be there.

And then like one time, I think it was new years. We went to my buddy Jesse's like frat party and I was drunk enough that I told him like, I think if you guys get weed, I would smoke it right now. And they're like, holy shit, we got to go. And it was over who found it or we went frat party. No, we went to frat house to frat house asking them for drugs. You don't understand this guy's never gotten high. I guess it was like it's a sting up.

Yeah, exactly. They're like, all right, dude, like this is dry week. So we're not actually like supposed, I guess it's weird that they had a dry week. It seemed like everything should be like no drugs and no alcohol. But for whatever reason, this was specifically a dry week on campus or something. So nobody wanted to let us in except for this one cool frat house. They're like, if you've really never gotten high, you can come in here and get high with us. And so Ofer taught me how to smoke in front of these frat dudes that I'd never met before at USC.

And then we played poker with them because they played poker. And so did we. And I, the way it manifested itself with me is that I couldn't not verbalize every thought I had. So as I was playing poker, I'm like, this guy's king. And I was like, wrong, but I was like, this guy's king nine. I bet he has Jack 10. Watch this. I'm going to push them all in there like, dude, you got to like stop talking.

Otherwise, like we can't play with you. You're, you're being too annoying for us to play with. And then Ofer had to apologize on my behalf. We left. Oh my God. We went back to Jesse's apartment and I experienced the munchies by eating raw onions. I'm like, these taste so good. Oh my God.

It was like diced onions and he's like, we should put them in an omelet. I'm like, oh my God, that's the best idea ever. And we made like, it was like 414 in the morning. We made omelets with diced onions and it was like, oh my God, this is the best thing ever. And he's like, this is what I'm telling you. I'm like, how good is weed that you're having an onion omelet and it tastes this good. To this day, I hate you. Wait, I hate you for that.

Me? Jake, yeah. What the hell did I add? Nothing. I just enjoyed the story. I feel like you put it in the ether or something. You made me tell it. I should have, I should have Ofer and Jesse corroborate those details, but that's as I

remember it. I think Jesse's told me that story also. So I know, at least I remember, the onion omelet thing was new, but I knew that you like, they took you frat house to frat house asking for drugs. Yeah, and it was dry. It sounded really heartwarming at first, like the fact that it was like a revenge of the nerds thing coming together, these tiny little Jewish tweens hanging out with frat dudes. It does explain a lot.

Yeah, but then I guess you did get kicked out for playing cards. It actually sounds a little bit like when we played Mafia and you were in tie. That's sort of just how you behave. Yeah, I told that story here too, where I was kicked out of the game night for playing Mafia. Good times. Let's take a break and come back and answer more questions after these messages. So, if you need a package pickup, you can easily schedule it.

If you need to sell products online, Stamps.com seamlessly connects with every major marketplace and shopping cart running a business isn't cheap. So Stamps.com has huge carrier discounts. We're talking up to 84% off USPS and UPS rates, holy smokes. And for 25 years, Stamps.com has been indispensable for over one million businesses. So if one million businesses can trust Stamps.com, certainly you can too. Set your business up for success with Stamps.com today. Just sign up with promo code IFIWEREYOU for a special offer that includes a four week

trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. Wow, no long term commitments or contracts. Just go to Stamps.com, you click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code IFIWEREYOU. And that gets you a free four week trial, free postage and a digital scale. That sounds pretty good. Thank you Stamps.com for sponsoring this show. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this Head Gum podcast. You know, Aura Frames is sponsoring not just this episode, but the entire Head Gum network,

Jake. Wow. That's correct. I mean, this might be the Goat Father's Day gift. I think it actually is. Yeah. Yeah, not just Father's Day, but if for any not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon, these digital photo frames might be the best of all time.

Yeah. For me personally, these things are perfect. I'll tell you why. As you know, I am expecting my first child. We got one for Jill's parents. Oh wow. We got one for Jill's grandma. Holy smokes.

We got one for my parents. So there are three of these bad boys in our family right now, but they're great, really easy way to like stay in touch with your family. You can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen. It's really nice. Oh, that's cool. So you take a photo of anything, perhaps a baby, and then it goes to their digital photo frame.

This is actually how we told Jill's grandma. She was pregnant. We got her the Aura frame. We plugged it in. Jill's grandma was pregnant. Really nice asshole. This was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife and you're trying to make a joke of it.

I was just being goofy a little bit like this is how I told my grandma she was pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of like she misheard it or something like that or the way you said it was kind of like could go either way. By the way, Jill's grandma is pregnant. Oh my God. Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant.

It's pretty cool. And you told me with a digital photo frame. Holy smokes. And we let her know with an Aura. Yeah. Thank you. The Aura announcement. So you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family

in on the fun through the Aura app. Add me to your Aura app. I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something. That could be funny. Yeah. Like your banana or your dog alongside pictures of my daughter. Yeah. Yeah.

Exactly. You deserve that. You can even preload photos and add a personal video message that will display as soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame. Yeah. It's a great gift. Really iconic gift. And right now you can save on the perfect Father's Day gift and visit Aura Frames.

That's A-U-R-A Frames.com. And our listeners can use code HEADGUM to get up to $30 off plus free shipping on the best selling frames. There it is. Oh wow. This is timely. The deal ends on June 18th. So don't wait.

Terms and conditions apply. That's Aura Frames. A-U-R-A Frames.com. Okay. Go get your parents something. All right. We're going to put Head Gum for $30 off plus free shipping. Right on.

Thank you, Aura. And now back to the Head Gum podcast you were listening to. And we're back. Hey, Avi Tal Ash. Do you have any? Oh, it's a left through the fire. Mom, I'm coming. Gross.

Excuse us. Yeah, that's an inside joke where I... We're in basically. My mother cat is Jake doing something in the fair. No. Yes. It's clearly your voice. I couldn't quite hear it, so I didn't know.

Great unsolicited advice. People watching your web series, Anti-Social Distance, which just came out. Yeah. Hey-oh. Yeah. So what's the elevator pitch? Give us like the quick 40-minute pitch for anti-social distance. And actually, this would be nice because you won't fart over this one.

The last time we had a guest talking about their project, I'm your ripped ass, right? Daring it, yeah. What was that? Josh Rubin was here talking about his film, and as he was talking, I muted myself on the Zoom and ripped wind, and I didn't edit it out of the episode, so like the mic still caught it. But for you, I'll only fart silently during it. Oh my gosh, thank you.

You get a deadly, a silent, a deadly perfect. An SBD. It's a watch the web series. Yeah, that's my unsolicited advice, telling you listeners to watch it at antisocialdistance.com. It is about a person who is avoiding herself during quarantine at the start of quarantine Passover 2020 and avoiding her partner and desperately trying to find a dog and basically just going through a version of what we all did, which was like anything but facing myself. But it's funny and sad, and well, by the time this comes out, they'll all be out.

But today, the last batch of episodes comes out, and yesterday, people told me they were crying watching, which maybe is not a good promo for your audience, but no, we all want to feel something. Right? Maybe. So maybe. I think it's, it feels very real. Laugh and cry.

I think it's good. This is a headgum podcast, isn't it? That's right, Rose is in it. Jeffrey's in it. Oh, I realize Rose did the voice for the network. Yeah, yeah, Rose. Yeah, it's actually Rose McIver, who does the headgum voice. Yeah.

So she's in it. Old, old college humor, fan favorite, UTK, the INC, is in a nap. You have lots of funny people doing like, dramedy in it, which is interesting to watch. Like me and you doing a scene that's not necessarily funny. Jeffrey doing two episodes that are not necessarily funny. That are dramatic even. Do they play, does everyone play themselves, or do you give them names? Are you like?

Yeah, they all have names. Nobody's playing themselves. Cool. Except. So no one's playing like, I'm a comedian whose show is on hiatus, and now I'm here doing virtual editions. No. The only person who plays themself is Rabbi David Kasher, excuse me, which is, I think

very interesting because a lot of it is also about sort of religion and like where that factors into this character's life and if it factors in and if it has a place. And especially because it's very LGBTQIA plus and a lot of religions, including the version of Judaism that I was raised in, really frown on anything aside from just heterosexuality. And so it was complicated, but interesting to have a real Rabbi way in essentially playing himself. Very cool. Yeah.

Working people find it. AntisocialDistance.com. Or we finally got our vanity YouTube link if you want to go to youtube.com slash antisocialdistance. Nice. Thank you. And it's 47 episodes shot over Zoom over the last year, edited meticulously, played out in quasi real time. So it's like eight days and then there's multiple chapters, multiple episodes for those eight

days. Yeah. 47 episodes. Jesus. That's epic. Yeah. Thanks. It was a lot of work.

I feel like every time I do anything, it's like, if I knew how much work it would be, I wouldn't have done it. Yeah. Wait. When did you start? Initially, I started a year ago because I was going to try and release it for Passover last year. And then I sort of gave up on it and then I came back.

I'm sorry. You can edit that outright, that gross sound. Men can do it, not women. But then really in the last few months, like knocked most of them out and there was, there's an episode without giving spoilers, but there's an episode with Amir that I was like super anxious doing and that makes me really uncomfortable to watch, but hopefully that makes for good TV. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to watch that one. Yeah. That one comes out today. I mean, they are, I'll make an exception for you. You can just watch that one, but I will strongly suggest my unsolicited advice that you watch in order because I think for whatever reason, people are like, oh, these are cute and they're bite-sized.

I'll just jump around. Like even cast members are like, I watched a few. It's so fun. I'm like, that's not how you're supposed to watch it. Do you watch it? Do you turn on the Sopranos and watch a fucking few? No, I don't think so. And that's how you responded to those texts, right?

Yeah. Yeah. 100%. But people who have watched it so far are incredibly moved by it. The hard part is getting people to watch it. So hopefully to the sensitive lot, the intelligent listeners now, watch the first few and see if it sucks you. And I feel like it will more than it won't.

Yeah. So do check it out. I think it also gets better as it goes. Like I remember, I mean, I shouldn't be so bold as to compare it to Fleabag, but I do feel like with Fleabag, you start and you're like, oh, these are fun. This is really funny. And then as you finish the season, you're like, there's a real narrative arc here that pays off.

Right. Yeah. So that's, I think, what, I mean, that's the feedback we're getting anyway is like, there have been a few people that were mad that they started watching on time because they're like, now I have to wait. I wish I could just binge the whole thing. So I think it is very bingeable because you want to see, hopefully you want to see where the story is going.

And because I listed all of the headgum people that are in it, well, Rose McIver is a beautiful woman, but there are also like a lot of women in it. I feel like I should mention too, Christina Karchner, who's on Never Have I Ever right now and is just a dream to look at and act with. And Ellington Wells, who's an up-and-comer and Galen Swords, and yeah, you'll see as you watch. But hopefully, please watch. There's also a lot of cute dogs at the very least.

Oh my gosh. Basically, a runner is that Abital is trying to adopt a dog. So everyone also has a dog in frame for most of the others. Oh, wow. Yeah. Does everyone that you worked with have dogs? Rose doesn't have a dog. Well, Rose isn't, there is a whole thing with dog fosters and she does not play a dog

foster. But a lot of, but all of the people that play dog fosters, we use their real dogs. Yeah. Oh God. That's awesome. I love UTK's dogs. Oh my gosh. He's so cute.

That's Disco. So the episode is called Disco. Easy to find. Yeah. So yeah, check it out at antisocialdistance.com, right? That's right. All right. You can also go to Passover2020.com, which I think gets confusing to say because why

are there two different websites, but it's easier to type. That's for sure. Passover2020.com. So however you want to type it, you can find it. Yeah. That's right. We actually had a question about a religious cult, not necessarily Judaism, but something a little bit more extreme, perhaps, do you have a fake guy's name to refer to this person

as? Amir Blumenfeld. Yeah. Right. More like something else. What else? Charles Manson. That's good.

Charles Manson from England writes, my dad and mom have started taking me to these weird cult meetings. They get together with three other families and they all chant and meditate and speak in tongues. It creeps me out and I want to stop going. I asked my parents and they said I had to go. What should I do? Any help would be much appreciated.

Wow. Speaking in tongues. Do you know how old Charles Manson is? I would hope he's under 18. Yeah. Yeah. Why would you hope that? Because it seems like if he's like 31 and his parents are like, you have to go, it seems

like he has a bigger issue than just the religious cult of it all. Yeah. I don't know which is worse. So we assume that he's young or at the very least living with his parents still. Right. Like in a way, it's sadder if he's like 40 and living with his parents, but then it's also like, okay, well, you're living under their roof, I guess you can do what they tell you to.

And if you're under 18, it's a little like brainwashing to force you to go to these chant meetings. Really no matter what it's a fucked up situation, it sounds like. Yeah. Run away from home. That's my advice. I mean, it's sort of what you did. It's kind of true.

What was your quote, religious cult growing up? You know, no talking on the phone or turning on lights or touching anything electric on Friday night or Saturday day and a lot of rules around what's allowed and why and when and don't touch anybody of the opposite sex, especially if you're on your period. You know, fun stuff like that. And then what did you do about it? You had to do it while you were growing up, right? You couldn't say, I'm good.

Thanks. I'm just going to stay inside and use electricity even though I'm 13. I could do it sneakily, but I didn't. I was rebellious in all the other ways, like I liked drugs and just. Yeah. No, we remember. I don't know. I told you guys I smoked a lot of weed.

I started like between seventh and eighth grade, so pretty young. But I did feel like I wanted my parents to love me and the way to do that was to be religious. So I did, I just sort of did what I was supposed to until I left the house and then had therapy to sort of unlearn the things that I didn't want to be a part of my life anymore. Right. Yeah. So, I mean, it's almost like the advice is, I don't know, you can stick with it and then stop when you when you leave if you're young, if you're so young or if you really have to

live with them. But I think, I don't know, it's really the tongues. The tongues really alienate people like going to a synagogue and praying is like close to that. You go there and you all chant in a different language to me. Yeah. Yeah. But like for whatever reason, like Hebrew is fine to me, but like going like feels crazy

and bizarre and scary. I think Hebrew is a little bizarre and scary to me, too. Like when I see people like dovening, like doing like the reading the book really fast and just bowing over and over, I'm like, that's fucking. It is kind of like speaking to the book and I'm like, I don't want to show you this. I don't want to have a book being bowed and I'm like, what are you doing with me? That's an actual prayer. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes. I mean, I didn't take God's name in vain. I sort of like sped over that because I don't want to go to hell. That is roughly it. I just remembered now when it was maybe Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashan or something, another example of like Zend out Jillian and Amir, they were down to go to temple and Jake and I were like, nope, I will not be doing that.

I stayed home at Amir's parents house while they went to temple and then you stayed home at your home in LA at the time. Yeah. Jill went, Jill would go to temple with Amir's mom. Yeah. She's the daughter-in-law Rivka never had. Yeah. Even though she also has two other daughters-in-law, that does go to temple with her, but it's

just not the same. It really needs to be Jillian. It needs to be Jake's wife, for sure. It should be Jake's wife. It has to be. But I didn't have to go to temple growing up because of the misogyny and orthodox Judaism is like the men had to learn and pray and whatever and the women usually, you know, making food and staying home with the kids.

You're so lucky. It really, so it worked out in a weird way for you. In a weird way. You were not allowed to be as religious as you would have had to be if you were a boy. It wasn't forced to go to the women's section of the synagogue because they were divided, obviously. Men and women can't sit together, so I stayed home, except for major holidays. And now I stay home on major holidays and Amir has to go.

Yeah. I think we need more information. How old are you? If you're six and you have an older sibling, can you live with them? Yeah. It's probably six, I bet. Mommy and daddy, don't let me want to talk in tongues. Can I stay with Uncle Danny?

Yeah. I do think you just have to have like many, like this is not, there's not an easy solve around this. You can't just like, there's not an answer. You just have to have many, many, many conversations with your parents. Yeah. And also with God, like a lot of the times when you realize that Jesus suffered and died for you, like the tongues are actually one good way to connect to your Lord.

In those conversations, be sure to use tongues. Yeah. I don't understand anything else. Yeah. Actually, can I bring something up? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was rolling in the back of your hand. There's like, dad is like, now I understand.

Okay. It's, it actually makes me appreciate being woken up by a fart rather than you speaking in tongues. I apologized for that. I said I liked it. I didn't really apologize for it. All right, let's take one more break and then I want you guys to hash out TV disagreements that you've had through me in person in a bit I'm calling TV battles, should they or

shouldn't they, dum, dum, dum. Back after this. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Thank you, BetterHelp. If you're finding yourself in a difficult, anxious, stressful situation, talking to a professional licensed therapist is the best way to navigate yourself out of that difficult place. It's not necessarily easy to find a therapist, especially one in your area, but BetterHelp

makes that all easy because it's online therapy designed to be convenient, flexible, and suitable to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist. You can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. It's incredibly helpful. Therapy has helped millions of people over thousands of years. If therapy a try, it can give you the tools to find a more balanced life. I've tried therapy.

It's been very helpful. You can find that balance better with BetterHelp. All you got to do is go to betterhelp.com slash if I were you. You do that today. You can get 10% off your first month. The prices are already affordable because you're not paying rent for a building somewhere that you have to drive to and wait in a waiting room. This is done entirely online, but you're still getting professional licensed help.

That's betterhelp.com slash if I were you. Check him out. Thanks, BetterHelp. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Wow. For years and years and years, we've been ranting and raving about Squarespace because it's the best way for dummies like me and potentially you that don't necessarily know how to code or design to create a professional looking website.

So if you're building an online portfolio for yourself or a loved one or you want to sell stuff online, you can do an online store. They have 24 seven live customer support, email campaigns, data. You can even purchase a domain name through Squarespace. For example, I didn't even look this up, but there's no way you can't buy a mere Blumenfeld is a good dude.com. I bet that's available and you can have it today and you can buy it through Squarespace and build an awesome website dedicated to me or I guess dedicated to anyone else in

your life. And maybe you want to give somebody a gift this season, a summer birthday coming up. Who doesn't want a website? So the best way to do that is to go to Squarespace.com slash if I were you for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, just use that offer code if I were you to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain again, Squarespace.com slash if I were you free trial, everything looks good. Let's launch it.

Just use that offer code if I were you to save 10% off that first purchase. Thank you. Squarespace. All right, we're back. Jake, you thought your honor was one of the worst TV shows you've ever seen. Avital. Correct. You said it was your favorite.

I didn't know. No, not even close. I think it was a bad show, but I also think it was more upsettingly bad because it had so much potential. Like, I think there were elements that were so good. So it was frustrating that it wasn't good. Okay. I think we actually probably agree.

The first two episodes of your honor had a lot of promise. And I think because it just like, it's not even like it didn't stick the landing. It's like it, it, it slid off the, the aircraft carrier and blew up and then sang into the ocean. Yes. Like it was, it was so, by the end, it was like comically bad to me. And I think, did you know, I, I read a fun piece of trivia or an interesting piece of trivia that they found out in the middle of shooting that they were not going to get

a second season. I did not know that. I think that for me, that explained everything. It was like, oh wow, they really like slap dash put all of this together. Yeah. And all the acting is very disappointed. So it's just like, Hey, do you want anything to eat? And Brian, not really, what's the fucking point we got canceled, but they kept it in.

Well, they kept saying it was always meant to be one season, but I guess, yeah, you're going to say that when you know you've been canceled that way through. Yeah. Or not renewed. But the way it ended, it's so clearly was not meant to be one season. It was like they, it was like they figured out how to, how they could no, I don't know, spoilers for your honor ahead. I'm going to give you a five second window here to pause if you want to watch your honor.

Okay. So when the, when the kid gets shot at the end, like the way that the energy of that is like, they didn't know who they wanted to kill when the gun went off and it's like fucking flip a coin like, Oh, all right, it's the, it's this guy. It's you. Yeah. It seems like they might have like shot the kid shooting wherever it doesn't seem like he's specifically pointing at anyone.

And then maybe they just filmed multiple deaths and we're like, okay, we'll slide in whichever one works. In post. And really any, any one of them would have worked for the ending that they were going for, which is just like kind of a shock and like, Oh wow, there's just so much death. I guess the one that they, and I guess killing him, I forget his name. His name is Adam. Oh yeah.

Good job. You remember his name. Yeah. Killing Adam, I guess is like book ending, both of the sons are dead or something. Right. That's poetic justice. It's like, here's the thing is again, to me, it almost, it almost works like not in the way that they did it, but it could work.

It could be really poignant and effective and like make you feel a bunch of things. And instead you're just like, okay, it's over. I will say that the tension in episode two, I thought was like masterful. I could, I had such a hard time getting through it. I was like, this show is amazing. And then. Yeah. The first two episodes were like, this is really good.

I didn't, the show made me anxious, which I never really like, but I like, I thought that it was still masterful. Yeah. But by the end I was like, everyone is so comically dumb. I don't know how many different ways they can like shoehorn all of these random people into like, do you remember the, the judge, the senator, the guy running for mayor, the detective and the, and that like, uh, civil rights lawyer, all of them, uh, just like ended up at his house one time for a surprise party and you're like, oh, that's fucking

bananas. Yes. And then like two episodes later, they just all get dinner as if it's a common thing. Like why are you hanging out with so many people when you murdered somebody, dude? Also, and I don't know if this is like, if this speaks to your audience at all. I really have to move on. This is ridiculous. I was set in as like a goof and this is just one of your honor episodes.

No, it's all staying in. But just the idea that the, the car is involved in a hidden run. And then the judge, the presiding judge, it's his car that belonged to his dead wife. You wouldn't be allowed to preside over that case. You're obviously emotionally invested. Like this is insane. And the entire, even like him doing, like him calling in the car stolen was so fucking stupid.

It was so stupid. Like just wait till it's like the plan is the car stolen. It goes to the junkyard. It gets destroyed. Then you call it in as missing. Right. I feel left out. I feel left out.

What's your favorite? Jake and Amir. This one. This one right here. That's really sweet of you to say. That's, I would say I'm looking at the zoom and that's probably my favorite, Jake. And then my favorite Amir would be, Oh, Cohen, the show, Amir Cohen's pretty good. Yeah.

He might be. Yeah. Well, obviously I would be your favorite Amir, but like I meant like favorite. I don't think so. Yeah. Forget it. Actually. Oh, it burns.

Making out. They're wrenching on the zoom. She's kissing with tongues. Runner Amir likes to do because you have your, oh, this tastes very beanie. Amir likes to, sometimes when I kiss him, he goes, our first kiss. And he said it so many times now, but it's not. Whoa. I thought we were just roommates.

Yeah. He does that a lot. That's really good. Feel free to use that one guys. Yeah. So Jake, you can use that one too. That's really good. I'm going to try that.

Yeah. It could be like a fun role play too. Almost like then roommates become, I don't know, even like lovers. Well, I thought we were just acquaintances. You gave me the impression that we weren't even friends yet. We were just well to do's. We have one last question and it's about whistlers. All right.

This one is a Canadian man. So what's a Canadian name for this man? Leonard Cohen. No, I don't know. What if it's, what if it's a nasty question? Okay. We need a different Canadian. That's music.

Jay Berichel. That's cool. The two goats. Seth Rogan. Let's go with Seth Rogan. Seth Rogan writes. So I work on construction sites and there's an archetype of construction dudes who exist at almost every site who persistently whistle while they work and I hate whistling.

It rings in my ears. It makes me want to puke out of my ass. Something about the piercing frequency and the general cheery nature of whistling can ruin an entire fucking day for me. I take it as a sign of disrespect and have read psychological studies on whistling and it says that people who do this to show some sort of false sense of bravado and control, which to the detriment of those unwiddling whistlers makes me detest them even more. Like most things that bother me to the point of homicidal rage.

I presume that this is a me problem, but I'm literally taken out of my body and astral projected into the hellscape of unimaginable torture and I'm not proud of it. That's just how it feels. I guess I'm just wondering if you have any experience dealing with a workplace whistler and if you can have any genuine advice about how to get to the stop without jamming a fucking screwdriver through their neck. I'm sorry for the violent language, I'm just trying to paint a picture here fellas. For now, I guess my main strategy is to take a passive aggressive sigh and put on my headphones

and listen to you guys fight about turties, which is fine, but I'm interested in hearing what you say. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I will definitely follow up, pup, whatever strategy you suggest for next time, a jackass next time some jackass tried to pollute the, huh? Okay. Okay. It seems like he might have jabbed a screwdriver to someone's neck at the end.

He offed himself. So I don't hate whistling, but there are things that bother me. Everyone has their thing that's like, oh my god, this person's doing this and I can't stop thinking about it. Mommy, love everything everyone does. Your thing is restless leg. If somebody's wrestling leg, it's worse than that. It's like any repetition.

Yeah. That would make me great. I mean, it was like bouncing or if someone's tapping or even just like this, like someone scratching a spot over and over, I have to, I start to be like, can you please stop? And I can't function. Yeah. Or I can leave, but, but sometimes you're in a position where you can't leave like this guy who works construction.

So I feel like, wow, yeah. You would hate, you actually would hate living with me if that's the case. Oh, I'd have to see it. Like what? What do you do? I pull out my beard all the time. Yeah. I do a lot of that.

Do a lot of face touching. Jill's always telling me to touch my face. I don't mind if it is like in passing. It's just if it's the, if it goes on for too long, I start to get really anxious. I guess I, something I do a lot is like scratch this, just like the, um, the top of my hand where my finger meet, oh, my palm. If I can't see it, it's okay. Sometimes people just hide it from me, you know, like under the table or yeah, then it's

okay. Okay. I'm trying to think if I have something that drives me insane. Yeah. Like some people hate the noise of food. Like popcorn being eaten is a big one for people. Um, yeah, mine is, um, I get goosebumps sometimes at like certain surfaces. Like the, when you like rub your fingernails against the, a record, like those small grooves

give me like a little goosebumps. I didn't know that. I know he has a thing about, um, like thin necklaces. Oh yeah. Just like jewelry. Like I would never wear a watch and I don't like people wear a lot of jewelry for sure. But even if I wore like, I don't, but if I were considering wearing like a, a dainty, like a small necklace, that would be upsetting to you.

You'd rather a big thick necklace. Yeah. I would rather no jewelry at all. And I get to determine that texture. Yeah. I don't like when people are like watching something on their phone with the sound on it, like not wearing headphones, if I, um, especially if they're like scrolling and like watching different things, like on Instagram, TikTok bit, if somebody is in, on TikTok,

in the room. Yes. Yes. I would freak out. Jake and I have had many conversations that Game of Thrones and there was a conversation about somebody joining to watch one of the episodes and I vetoed it because I was like, she's going to be on her phone and it's going to bother me. Yes.

I can't. I really don't like when people are on their phone while I'm watching TV. I don't, and Jill and I fight about this one sometimes that like, I don't like any talking at all when I'm watching a show or a movie that I want to watch. So like people talking like, who's this guy? Oh, you know what, you know what he's doing? Did you hear that? Like I hate, I hate any, any question or commentary.

Um, I have a weird unspoken rule, which we've never discussed, but where I'll like sometimes say something like my prediction of what I think is going to happen or something in a movie, but I always wait for like when the characters aren't talking so that I'm not overlapping. I mean, Mir will chime in with his, but they've started talking and then I have to rewind and he's like, you were just talking. I'm like, but I wasn't talking while they were talking.

Yeah. But you also do the, wait, where's this person from? Pause it. I have to look it up right now. I have to look up where that actor is from. Stop the film, everyone. Imagine doing that in a theater. Stop the movie.

I have to see. And then it's like 48 filmography. Like no, I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that too. And then like, but the funny thing about that is like when you, there's no way it can actually come to like a satisfying conclusion because then you'd be like, Oh, he was in season two of the West Wing and you're like, great.

Who's like, thank God we paused. Thank God I know that too. But sometimes it is intense. Like with, I can't remember his name right now, but with Ted Lasso, I loved this one guy. I didn't, I didn't even have to, I just had to look up who played him. And as soon as I saw the actor's name, I was like, Oh right, of course, from Buffy. But I, but I was going to make me insane until, Oh, Anthony head.

That's what it was. I didn't look it up. Actually, let's stop this podcast. We have to look it up who it was. But as soon as I saw the name Anthony head, I was like, Oh right from Buffy. And then I could fully enjoy the series. Yeah. Part of my brain.

Anthony head. You're looking up Anthony head. Oh yeah. There he is. Giles. Yeah. Exactly. You get it.

Whoa. And he was the bad guy. He's that. Did you watch Ted Lasso? Yeah. Yeah. He's like her ex-husband. I love him so much.

See, it pays off. You have to pause. It's the perfect time. But I couldn't. It's the most interesting. I was like, going to lose my mind until I could place what he was from. And then as soon as I saw his name, I was like, of course, Giles from Buffy. See, you kind of get it.

Sometimes I do that, but I don't make a, well, I don't, I don't like make an announcement. I'm like, I'll just like search someone's IMDb, but then you're on your phone while we're watching. No, I just do it really quickly. And then I lock it and then I'm like, okay, now I'll remember when I stopped that I need to know this. Yeah. I set myself a little reminder.

Oh, interesting. That seems like it would take just as much time as looking it up. Nope. Sometimes a little less. All right. All right. Sometimes I take a mirror's phone out of his hand and then put it face down because I'll be on it and I'm like, nope.

And I find that so cool. Adorable. Our first kiss. I thought we were just rooming. So would you ever tell me the only episode where the guest is kissing the host? The guest is kissing the host. Well, that hasn't happened while since probably since Josh was on and started mecking me halfway through.

What? I'll kill him. So sometimes you're in a situation where if you tell people something that annoys you, they decide to ramp it up. And I feel like construction site might be one of those situations where like, if you give them a weakness, they'll pounce on it. So I'm afraid he can't mention anything. Right.

Or you can do his whistle louder. Oh. Can you whistle? That's about it. This guy listening right now is fucking freaking out. Oh, no. He puts on this episode to drown out the whistles. What's all fucking right at this moment?

He's fucking losing his mind. I wonder what he thinks about tea kettles. Oh, good question. Yeah. I guess he just doesn't like whistling sounds. But it's funny that he like also just like went in search of corroborating evidence that whistling is bad. Yeah.

What did you guys do if people were whistling? Like he clearly, his search term must have been like, why is whistling bad? Like there's no way that he just looked up whistling and found that it's a sign of control or it's like a power dynamic. Maybe he has a weak whistle and he needs to work on his own whistle so he can feel powerful in this situation rather than emasculated by their whistling. Actually this guy is in Canada. He might live near whistler.

I wonder how fucking devastating that would be. I wonder if he ever gets whistled nose, you know, or like sometimes you're breathing and your nose just does the thing. Oh yeah. There was a Jake and Amir episode where I have a hum when I scream. A hum? Yeah. You also, you misconstrued, you think that a, that a sales clerk called you hum instead

of hon. Like my nose admits a humming noise. Yeah, god. Whistles, whistler, hates them, torture. I think you can only whistle out or I really do or sing a song. Like you, you're, this person is doing something to distract themselves while they're working. So you have to disrupt their, their flow. Drop a hammer on their foot.

That's cool. Or you could just start talking to him. Oh. Have a conversation. That's a good idea. You can't, you can't whistle and talk at the same time and maybe then you'll get to know him and you'll like him. What a pacifist answer.

I love it. Thank you. It's beautiful. Let me say it. Yeah. What if you talk? What if you just whistle at them? No, that's not what he said.

He didn't say whistle at them. Close. Oh. Line. He said, okay, try it this way. What if you got to know them instead? What if you got to know them instead? And you had conversation with them.

Okay. That was bad. Yes. This is what it was like directing me too. You guys have both done it. You get it. Oh yeah. That's true.

We both have now. Well, it's your favorite part of directing Amir. The fact that I don't memorize any lines. Yeah. Yeah. It was always the memorizing lines, but it's funny. I think I've talked about this on the show because Amir and I, we are the same, we act the same way.

We are the same actor. We would do Jake and Amir as we would shoot so many, you would show up and like stumble through one script and then memorize it for the next one. And we were constantly kind of like finding ways to hide the script on our computer because we were shooting so much. So like, I don't blame him. This is how I acted as well. But like a normal actor, a normal person shows up and you know all of the lines.

Prepared. Yeah. For sure. Especially if you're the star and you wrote it. You want to be like, I'm off book. So we would, Amir would come and he'd be like, what are we shooting today? Yeah. I just wouldn't know because they were actual actors who knew their lines and I would be

like, we send the schedules ahead of time. And then like, and then when you're directing, you kind of have a sense of like how everything needs to happen. And like when you get behind, it's for things like your actor not knowing your lines. Like I have to, let's take that again because I was an off book yet, but like maybe after a few read-throughs. Yeah. In a couple hours.

Yeah. Yeah. Can we shoot the rehearsal and then I'll just get it on the last tape? Well, you'd read. Ideally, we're getting it on every take because there are things that are not any actors. That's the other like actor mentality or like, I don't think it's an all actor mentality, but sometimes you think that like all of this depends on is me saying the words right and doing a good job.

And if I stutter, then that's bad. But if I don't, that's good. But like what's actually happening is like the lights are dipping in, sound cuts out. Like there's like a weird, like there's a million things that can go wrong. So you have to get, you have to do the lines right every time because. And sorry, this is your favorite part of directing Amir. He never knows his lines. That's my fake favorite.

I guess the, my action, my nice favorite. I think he finds a way to make a scene funny every single time. Which is good in a comedy and thank you, but bad in a dramedy. And you're like, oftentimes you give me note, you're like, this is not a comedy, don't play it for comedy. I'm like, right. No, for sure. I don't know how to not be funny though.

Like I can't be serious because there's no actual moment in my life where I'm acting this way. So I have to like literally invent an out of body experience where I do need to be serious, which is so rare. Which I think you pull off in the antisocial distance, but I think you do. Although it is really funny if I have an audition sometimes and I want to like have Amir be my reader. I can't have him do it for, like I had a romcom audition and let's say it's like I'm reacting

to lines. Like I knew I fell for you when I saw you in the moonlight or whatever and Amir's like, I knew I fell for you when I'm like, that's not, this is ruining the scene. Sorry, I can't read this shitty dialogue well. I'm not an actor. I'm just a reader. Well, that's almost how you know that the writing's good when Amir can do it, when Amir pulls it off.

And also I'll caveat that with I'm the only one who can write good. So the only way you know it's good writing is if I can do it well and I'm the only one who can write well. So it's a very narrow definition of good. Yeah. But we thread that needle every time because I'm always writing in some capacity the words that I have to act. And Jake has nothing to add.

It's all you. Oh yeah. So one man show. As long as I, as long as I got the DP to show up on time, then your job is done. Amir is the Billy Corbin of this whole show. Yeah. Smashing pumpkins. Tonight.

Tonight. All right. I think we gave this guy advice, which is to talk to them, try to throw them off your scent and then don't ever bring up that you hate whistling because they'll keep mentioning that. There's also, I'll just, I don't know if that is helpful, but I have had a couple of situations where somebody's doing the thing that makes me insane and I can't leave. And one time I always pin it on me because it is me.

I'm the problem. It's not that whistling is a problem that I have a problem with whistling. And so I'll be like, I'm so sorry. It's not you. I have this thing. Can you please not do that? Cause it makes me insane. And I have had somebody be like, fuck off.

And then I just never went back to that place again. And then another time. So I was like, oh my gosh, yes, of course, like I didn't even know I was doing it. I'm so sorry. So I think you're right, Jake. They probably are the type of people that are going to be like fuck off, but you don't know until you try. I said that actually.

And I love that joke. What's that joke you make, Jake, about, um, I thought we were, I thought we were just roommates. Yeah. That's me. It me. We're the one about the bean stew of that one. That one is.

Exactly. We call each other Jay. Yeah. And also where you say, wow. Our first kiss. I love all that. Now you're just sort of putting us together into some sort of bucket. But yeah, you're my favorite.

Jake, I'd say Amir Cohen's my favorite Amir. I also wanted to say maybe Canadian construction workers are nicer than America. Oh, that's probably true. Yeah. Good point, Jake. Yeah. Yeah. I do think, yeah, there's, depending on how well you know the guy, you can make a judgment

call. Yeah. If saying something is, is going to work. Has somebody ever whistled at you? That's like a classic construction archetype. Like have you ever been cat called specifically by a construction worker? Yeah. I think so.

I haven't like passed a construction site in a long time. Yeah. But it does happen. Yeah. That's cool. I mean, it's awful. But that's cool that it happened to you, babe. Because I'm so hot.

That means I'm hot. And cool. And cool. I smoked weed in between seventh and eighth grade for the first time. While they cat called you? Yeah. I'm all weird. The fucking green devil.

What? I flicked my roach at the construction worker because I walked past. And they were just putting their blows up. All right. Avital, one last time. Where can people watch this web series, which is now all online entirely? Yeah. Please binge it all and leave comments on the YouTube and DM me and tell me what you

liked or hated. I'll take whatever, but it's at antisocialdistance.com. And then I'm at Avital Ash on Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, so you can find me and tell me what you think. Actually, somebody DMed Amir on Orion today to tell him how much they love the series, which made me really happy. Wow. Synergy.

Very cool. Synergy indeed, Orion. That's right. And we should say Orion is up and running. So thanks to everybody that's downloaded our dating app. Some of the bugs are getting squashed every day by Jeff, so things are looking more and more stable over there. So if you were waiting to be a week too, now's your chance, you can just search Orion dating.

I actually am fucking cleaning up on that app. I have so many matches. That's awesome. Let's honest. You can't get that feeling on Tinder or Hinge. Are you on Tinder? Yeah, I don't get any matches. Jesus.

They're so sad. The prompts are good. Yeah, they're fun. They're funny and fun, and so far I've matched with Amir and Jake, and so the conversation has been fun. And somebody complimented me too when you're on there, so that's fun. And you're on there too, so dudes can match with you as well. Yeah, except I haven't been swiping.

Amir is, though, clearly. Yeah. I have to go because I'm meeting up with Yon later today. That's right. Yon. As long as... Yeah, he has a Jan and a Yon. Yeah.

Then are you meeting up with him? Nice. Oh, call back. That's very... I guess I'm saying nice when there's a joke now, because I live with him. Imagine that hellscape. All right, sweet. Avi Tal, thanks for joining us.

Thanks to everyone that wrote in their questions or your theme songs. You can send them all to, if I were you, showatgmail.com. Everything theme song, actually, was just the first half of that sweet, sweet song. So why don't we play the entire... Sweet, sweet Sven. Yeah, the entire Sven version by Lucas and Sven Band. So shout out to Sven, shout out to you guys for listening, and shout out to Avi Tal, antisocialdistance.com. Thank you.

Oh, yeah. This is a Hadcom podcast. Nice. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.