If I Were You - 485: Road Trip

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

In this episode we discuss cryptocurrency, cropping your ex out of photos, and Super League Football.Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fmSee omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a Head Gum Original. Better riding quick to if I were you God there's so much that I don't know If Jake gets the dirty it's a bad show Going fall apart I don't know what to do Better riding quick to if I were you God there's so much that I don't know But if Jake gets the dirty it's a bad show

The turdy is mine to lose And I always fuck up, I always take it for having I guess I'm not funny and that sucks I mean that's probably ultimately bearer And I think that the strength that you just showed In admitting that you deserve most turdies I think that fucking earns you the turdy For this episode

Preemptive How is it preemptive if it's based on what I just said Also you said I've shown new strength and character So why do I get the turdy award for that? You said I guess I'm not funny and that sucks And am I supposed to be like yeah good By the way I do for excellence in podcasting Off of not being funny

I was low key sort of hankering for a compliment I thought you'd be like that's not true dude You are really funny I didn't think of it like that If you were doing that If you were fishing, if you were hankering That's an auto turdy Do you understand?

I already got it I wasn't But as soon as you become aware of the turdy You get the turdy Do you know what I mean? You became aware of it You talked about it first It was in the song and they said if you get a turdy it's a bad show

So I talked about it first because it was in the song I don't think so You chose the song You played the song I made you the host of this zoom And you fucking brought up the turdy by playing that song And then you tried to put it on me And then you tried to put it on me

Let's just Let's just talk about something else Let's just do the show You get the turdy I get the golden mic for defending the honor of podcasting And let's Let's just have a fucking Now that the accolades, the awards have been doled out

They've been given, they've been accepted They've been enjoyed, they've been appreciated I think we can just move on without that hanging over our heads You know, let's You're talking about the golden mic and the turdy or the Oscars that are going on right now The Academy Awards are happening as we record That's not on my radar That's what you meant by the awards band

All I care about is podcasting That's why I achieve excellence in the medium, in the format So if that song sounded familiar, it's because it's the same guys last week Remember Sven the band? Yeah, great name for a band, as I said last week Yeah, Lucas is the one who wrote it Last week, I don't know if I mentioned but it's a cover of a song called Bobby by Alex G It wasn't an original

Interesting This one is another cover of Cut Your Bangs by Girl Pool Don't want to take credit I think some people like tweeted at me saying that wasn't an original, it was a cover So sorry, it was a cover and this one is a cover of Cut Your Bangs by Girl Pool And if you want to shout out something else, his friends have a YouTube channel called Happy Fun Time Show So that's pretty cool You know, when I was in high school, I was in a band

And we played a song that I thought and I was led to believe I was lied to They told me it was an original So I was in this band that played Howie Day's Collide Never having heard the song myself Thinking that I was in a band that made that song up So the song Collide I don't think so What is it?

It's a song by Howie Day It's like you and I collide You've heard it Was it a joke on you or was it like The guy was, I don't know if he was like a liar I think he was maybe more opportunistic Like he played the song We were playing a show

He played the song, he taught it to me And I think I asked if it was an original And he took that as an opportunity to say that it was And then it kind of just snowballed from there where he was playing other Howie Day songs And telling me they were real Or they were not, I mean, they were real Telling me they were his And at some point later on in the summer, I found out that all of these songs that he had played

Told me were his It was a plagiarist Yeah, they were Howie Day So imagine that fucking gut punch I thought I was going to make it Like these songs only What if that was Howie Day? I'm not going to think about it

Like is there a chance? He was Howard He's like I'm going to go off and make it I don't think It's definitely Howie Day Adjacent, right? It sounds like it Howard and Howie Even from the get-go, from the jump

Yeah, maybe there is no Howie Day It's like fucking William Shakespeare Follow the money, I think It goes all the way to the top, probably Love from Canada And he also says thank you for matching with him on Orion So I don't know if you matched with him on Orion But Lucas is also on Orion

Shout out to everybody that's downloaded our dating app We're over 2,000 people on there We are fucking cruising We're on cruise control now We crossed the threshold that lets you set You can set a radius So you could actually meet a real person You know

Oh really? I didn't know that Right now I'm set to worldwide So I'm matching with people all over this country I'm set to worldwide as well I'm matching with people in Adelaide Matching with people in Stockholm Matching with people in Columbus You know, local

Match with someone in New Haven Love it Yeah Oh, wow Real close On Instagram, you went on that pizza date Yeah, it was responsible Because it was socially distanced

It was a masked walk No, but it was weird Because I'm saying because you're married It's weird that you took that person up And then you advertised it I just had the cutest date ever And I'm on Orion now And I feel

I know, that's what I'm saying I'm saying it's weird that you had a connection I'm saying it's weird that you went on a date So you don't have to say I feel But I think it works because Jill doesn't listen to the show She doesn't really know about Orion So she can't be mad at me That's not why it works

Does that make sense? I understand what you're saying But it doesn't make sense You're basically It actually makes sense You can agree with it or not It makes sense It makes sense, yeah

It's good that you're using it You can just use it to chat with people too I can't imagine This is a really fucking full, cute Do you go out on the lake And you cast your fucking rod Your reel, your lure And you catch a fish

And then you let it dangle there Are you a catch and release guy? Do you like to... Do you like the sport? Do you like to reel it in the prize fish? I don't like... I don't like fishing Really?

Do you like to eat fish? Yeah, I mean occasionally I'll get like a dover soul Or something like that Or I'll have like a sushi dinner Or something like that A dover soul and my date, Dana Actually had a lot of soul

And that's why we went on a Social distance walk Around Yale campus Oh my god I just saw the Instagram post She said yes So Jill is definitely going to see You proposed to this woman on a fucking

On a date, date one, date two I don't know why I can't have a fiancé I don't have a fiancé currently It's not... The app just launched two weeks ago Two weeks ago There's like I said A little over 2,000 people on it

And you're to be wedded now That's the fastest That will be interesting Could you imagine? When will that happen? When is the first engaged couple Who met on Orion And do we have to contractually

Go to their wedding? 100% I will... I mean, you know God willing I will give a speech at that wedding I really like that And aside from the dates

That I've been going on I have met a lot of cool people But I haven't really thought That much about like I guess I've tried with some people That said they were talking to other people Yeah You haven't thought about like

Fans matching with fans Or just friends of friends now I love thinking about that God, if we could... Because I also... I remember seeing on like Text Jake Or like even on our show

People would like screen shot Tinder matches Where like they had in common That they liked Jake in a mirror And it was a good connection You know So that's a good basis Yeah

Now it's... That's the entire dating pool for now Until we start advertising it wider But I will say the app is a lot more Stable now than it was two weeks ago So if you downloaded it And you're like, this is very buggy I think we're almost out of bugs to squash

There's also changed... Jeff pushed a design change That like pushes the... Huh? Like the new conversations Like your conversations are all Kind of in a list And then your new matches

Yeah Scroll left to right Up at the top So you don't have to like scroll really far To like see where your active conversations are You've got like left to right That's great news Scrolls up at the top

For your new matches And then active conversations Up and down scroll below that That's absolutely great news It's awesome It looks good Also the other thing I'll say about this app I was chatting to somebody

Who told me That most of the messages She had gotten so far Where people asking if she was a bot And she asked me to make a PSA That that was not good flirting Mmm So

Is that based on the jaconymere tinder Or is one of her pictures of a robot It's one of her pictures Is her doing the robot And her name is load on the app So it could be... Oh I see Yeah

It's definitely problem with that If her name is actually load I bet it is a bot Probably right And somebody else actually Wait hold on I want to read this one Because it was

I thought this was a great conversation This was an Orion message you actually got She said Sweet app by the way I haven't been sexually harassed at all so far Which is really saying something these days So You know

Low bar should be cleared way more often But I'm glad that So far Orion Is clearing that bar Yeah That's pretty good To be filled with that many dudes And zero sexual harassment

So far Keep up the good work everybody Also if you're on there Don't ruin the streak either That's a really good start That's a good iTunes review for us So yeah Also just download the app

Check it out Even if you're taken like me You can still have fun on the app Yeah It's not illegal to chat Use it as an adult friend finder Only an actual one Like didn't tinder and hinge pivot to that too

You can also like bumble Even like BFF finder BFF So you can use it to find friends You just change your preferences Alright sweet Yeah thanks to everybody that's downloaded it so far Alright this is if I were you

An advice show The only one on the web Hosted by me and Jake I'm gonna make Wow We actually I searched Orion Just to see if people had feedback And this person had an interesting question

So we can start there A 22 year old girl 22 year old lady Will call her 20 20 20 Cooper 20 per Cooper

writes Long time listener First time advice seeker I'm a 22 year old girl Who's been using dating apps For quite some time And man it is a struggle Something that has recently become

A pet peeve of mine is When guys ask for my snapchat And then proceed to send me Snapchat photos of their face No caption No pizzazz No filter No context

At this point I'd prefer a tasteful dick pic As opposed to these bland nothing faces My question is this Is it mean to ghost these guys That are so bland on snapchat Or judge them based on their snap Etiquette before even meeting them

Can I unfriend them on snapchat Ignore them on dating apps And go on with my life Should I just stop giving random guys my snapchat I guess I expect it to be like Texting or a fun day to day documentation Not just me staring at a guy's selfie I'm all for breaking out the dating app

Communication method But this just seems like Not the way to go Any advice would be appreciated P.S. I downloaded Orion And I'm having tons of fun Meeting people from all over the world Also I think you guys should consider

Pivoting the podcast to be just Jake and Avital Avital is simply amazing Toda, love, 20, Cooper Okay, okay So Thanks for the compliment of Avital We're obviously not pivoting the podcast

Yeah But I let Avital know that She was a guest last week And she's got some fans That's cool She's not obviously going to take over for me But it's nice that You guys dug her

So appreciate it It's actually interesting And now that I really think about it I don't think we gave The other stuff I don't think we gave a golden mic Or a tourney last week With Avital

Oh, yeah I just assume we all That's on me And I think that I guess 30, 30, 30 No, no, no I think I think that I'm going to give

I am going to give Avital The golden mic posthumously Actually She's not dead Which is a pretty cool honor After the episode To receive it From somebody that has

Mostly won Every single one Except for One that I believe Ben won So, yeah I think Avital gets that Why don't we Not even give out the 30 for a while

How's that? Cause I don't want it That's awesome I really appreciate that Cause then that might be The first episode I haven't gotten Yeah, I don't want that kind of thing Like souring our relationship

So no 30 And in terms of her Replacing me Do you want to Squash those rumors Put that gossip to bed Cause You're down to not

You're down to keep it as is I think it would be cool To do me and Avital I feel like we had a good We had a good record We had a good back and forth It's nice to have you There as a foil

I'll admit that So If anything I'll be the foil I'll be tall But less you Cause you mostly would be there To be like

That wasn't even part of the question I'm just saying it would be more Like about So like You'd Engineer this Obviously And you'd edit

And you'd have a post No, I would not do the editing I don't want to do that I don't want to edit Not even be able to get Can I have a microphone That I can occasionally chime in with Even if I'm not

I think you could chime in I would I'll chime in I'll be the host I'll be the co-host You can add a host there The co-host The co-host would be me and Avital

I think that's What makes the most sense And I think you're The producer You're on mic You would be using your Like In-computer mic

We'd kind of like Splice it in Or you would splice it in Cause you're kind of Yeah But I feel like it's important For people to know that It's sound like this

I think that It helps paint the picture Of like The hierarchy of the host And like Who's opinion Yeah, I fear that might Make me lesser than

Uh Your fear is my hope So I don't know what Those are We're just gonna have to Agree to disagree But I think as long as the Upshot

I agree to disagree I agree with that I agree to disagree So we're on the same page We're on the same wavelength Yeah But I get my way Right off the bat

Yes You get your Yeah You get your way I feel like you always Get your fucking way You always get your fucking trophy And you always get your fucking way

You piece of shit Okay Let's um Alright, that actually Did we answer this First discretion? Can we take a fucking break? That attitude?

That attitude right there? That moxie kid? That's the type of shit That's the type of the shit That will win you the Turdy every time Do not Oh!

I thought you wanted me To stand up for myself I thought I'd finally Push back And you could say like Holy shit You've been waiting for You've been to polite this whole time

Why don't you actually Take a stand And get the trophy with me I think like That was gonna be the 180 That's why I was pushing Try being more demure Try being more contrite

That's my teeth fall I'm a little kitty to you I'm always a little lap kitty Why don't you purr Why don't you purr like a cat Why don't you purr like a cat Yeah Why don't you purr like a

Fucking way Why don't you meow for me Right I'll meow once But I'm not gonna purr See if I take away Your 500 turkeys Meow

Meow And that's it No purr Really no purr That's it Wow That's sad That's a turdy

That's a poshest turdy For last episode But fuck that you groveled I can't fucking believe What's going on You're emotionally abusive You have to be emotionally abusive I'm starting to feel bad honestly

You've turned me into a cat That was fucked up That was fucked up Sad I'm gonna eat canned tuna fish for dinner Cause like I'm in that headspace now Yeah No I'm sorry about that

That was too much This lady is getting snapchats of guys' faces And I guess it's so prevalent that it's become an issue So I guess our advice can be to guys If you do match with someone and get their snapchat Don't just send them selfies Uncaptioned bland selfies I think what the issue is

And I've been off snapchat for a while And I've also been out the game for a while Until I went on my date with Dana Sol Yeah Dana Sol that's her last name Sort of just a play on the Dover Sol from earlier But yeah Got it

Got it I think what is happening there is like There's no caption I mean there should be But I think what they're doing is like Snap you're sending that wide You're sending that to everybody So it's the lowest effort

And you're like It's like machine gun fire being sprayed And just hoping anyone responds So the fact that she's ghosting them I feel like it largely goes unnoticed Cause I imagine snapping a ton of people So you shouldn't think twice about like Ignoring them about unfriending them

Like I don't think that anyone's taking it personally Yes I think you could totally ghost guys That you're giving minimal effort It feels like they're just afraid to do anything Or they're like they lack the personality To do anything more than just send a stern photo Of their face and hope that you do something

I guess that's what makes the prompts in Orion So fun and necessary is that it's a conversation starter Because nobody can just send a picture of their face That asks you Hey at what age do you think you'll die That's a good prompt We should add that We should actually update

Really We have written I'm looking at the prompts now We have about 300 So I think we have to come up We have If we're trying to get more people to get on the apps We gotta write more prompts

We need more prompts Alright I got a prompt right here ready What was your First internet browser Oh that's good I like that Yeah do you remember yours Yes

Was it Netscape Navigator I believe the I mean I think Netscape was like the Alternative Wait yeah you clicked Netscape to get on the internet Yeah So you used Netscape

There was also internet explorer still back then Back in the day The OG Wow interesting Yeah I definitely used Netscape What was your first search engine Ooh god Alta Vista or some old shit like that

Mine was also Web crawler Mine was Alta Vista But if they didn't have the right Newdy Pamela Anderson pictures I went over to Lycos Yeah You actually caused the dot com crash

Because every search engine That you would use eventually The bubble burst on that That was my bubble bursting Yeah that's right When I finally noted to the Pamela Anderson Any of these sex tape I stopped Using the internet and it all crashed

Yeah that's when Pets.com went belly up You bankrupted them From the get go Okay let's take a break You can ghost these people And we'll thank some sponsors We'll come back with more questions and answers After this

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Free postage and a digital scale That sounds pretty good Thank you Stamps.com for sponsoring this show Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring This headgum podcast You know Aura Frames is sponsoring Not just this episode but the entire Headgum network Jake

Wow that's correct I mean this might be the goat father's day gift I think it actually is Yeah not just father's day But for any not so tech savvy family member That you need a gift for soon These digital photo frames might be the best of all time For me personally these things are perfect

I'll tell you why as you know I am expecting My first child We got one for Jill's parents We got one for Jill's grandma We got one for my parents So there are three of these bad boys In our family right now But they are great

Really easy way to stay in touch with your family You can upload as many photos as you want Directly into my parents kitchen It's really nice Oh that's cool So you take a photo of anything perhaps a baby And then it goes to their digital photo frame This is actually how we told Jill's grandma

She was pregnant We got her the Aura frame We plugged it in Jill's grandma was pregnant Really nice asshole This was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife And you're trying to make a joke of it I was just being goofy a little bit like

This is how I told my grandma she was pregnant Yeah kind of like she misheard it or something like that Or the way you said it was kind of like Could go either way By the way Jill's grandma is pregnant Oh my god Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant It's pretty cool

And you told me with a digital photo frame Holy smokes And we let her know with an Aura Yeah Thank you The Aura announcement So you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere And invite the whole family in on the fun through the Aura app

Add me to your Aura app I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool Or something that could be funny Yeah like your banana or your dog Alongside pictures of my daughter Yeah yeah exactly You can even preload photos and add a personal video message That will display as soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame

Yeah it's a great gift A really really iconic gift And right now you can save on the perfect Father's Day gift And visit Aura Frames that's A-U-R-A Frames.com And our listeners can use code HEADGUM To get up to 30 dollars off Plus free shipping on the best selling frames

There it is Oh wow this is timely The deal ends on June 18th so don't wait Terms and conditions apply that's Aura Frames A-U-R-A Frames.com Okay go get your parents something alright And use the code HEADGUM

For 30 dollars off Plus free shipping Right on Thank you Aura And now back to the HEADGUM podcast you were listening to And we're back Jake do you have any Oh it's a lift to the fire

Mom I'm coming Gross Um I don't think I do do you I watched a sketch comedy show That was very silly and funny I'll throw it out there Have you heard of

I don't I believe it's just called Aunty Donna Aunty Donna It's a sketch comedy show Three dudes on Netflix That I guess came out late last year I had not heard of it Dan Gerwig told me about it

I was finally out of sports to watch And I said okay I'll watch something on Netflix Turned on this sketch show And it was insanely absurd Weirder than like any college humor video we've ever done But very very very silly and very very very funny And I was laughing out loud by myself So if you're completely out of shit to watch

And you want to LOL And you think we're funny And you must think we're funny a little bit If you listen to this then you'll probably like Aunty Donna the sketch show on Netflix Who's in it? It's three dudes that are insanely funny And I've not heard of it

I don't know if they're from England They seem to have accents How did you come across it? Oh they're from Australia There you go And they performed at Edinburgh They're just like very silly weirdo fringe alt comics Yeah they're all

It's an Australian absurdist comedy group From Melbourne There we have it Dan told me about it And they were making videos I guess Like for the last 10 years But they finally got a Netflix sketch comedy show So they put it

They made it with like super high production value And it's very very funny I'm going to send you one about There's a sketch about trendy barbershops That you'll like Because you know those trendy barbershops That you like where everybody's very cool And they drink beer and coffee while they cut your hair

So there's a very funny sketch called Trendy Barbershop That you will very much dig And there's also just like a bunch of insane silly shit So check them out Aunty Donna Wow What an earnest plug I know

Maybe we can be friends with these guys If anybody knows these guys Tell them to be friends with us Yeah we want to be friends with Australian comedians And also remember that Australian band that we love Furnace and the Fundamentals Oh yeah weren't they a cover band? Yeah they were a great cover band that we saw

I think it was in Sydney though Yeah not Melbourne Sydney I think we saw them in Sydney Oh yeah And we loved them so much that I genuinely looked into Getting up to play my wedding Alright just flying in an Australian cover band

Yeah then I remembered it was a day for me and Jill Not me and you unfortunately Oh yeah we should save them for our wedding That's right Alright sweet that's my unsolicited Good shit Alright next question Which of course I have just on deck

Like I can just instantly find it and figure it out It's not even like Perfect How big whoopsie do No problemo Exactly Oh here's one about Bitcoin Since Bitcoin is going ham yet again

We can't leave it We can't leave cryptocurrency Right This is an email from a lady We'll call her Cryptopia Cryptopia Cryptopia

In 2018 my brother said that if I had some savings I could forget about for a while Just in Bitcoin After talking to him We both ended up investing the same amount of money Of portion for a portion of a Bitcoin As of January 2021 I have quadrupled my initial investment

When I texted him to thank him for the great advice I find out that he sold his Bitcoin more than a year ago I realize at this point It sounds like I'm sending an email to brag about my crypto success But there's a question I feel bad that my brother sold his Bitcoin While I'm profiting off his advice as we speak Especially since I'm trying to figure out what the hell Bitcoin even is

So what should I do? Should I give him some Bitcoin? Should I shower his family with lavish gifts for the rest of our lives? Should I send him a check when I sell it? My brother's a huge fan So give a shout out to Dan Shout out to Dan Thanks for your advice

Shout out to Dan Cryptopia You should have held Dan You got a hodl You always hodl Almost So this lady, this sister She's very sweet

Because she feels bad that she took her brother's advice So much to heart that When he sold, she did not And now she's making cash Because over the last year I don't know if you know But Bitcoin went from like 3,000 per coin To over 60,000

And now it's down around 50,000 Bitcoin's at 50,000 So let's just say I know she said she brought a fraction But let's say she bought half Her and her brother each put in 1,500 She sold his for 3,000 And now she's sitting on 25K

Does she sell and give him some Or is it like, sorry You gave me the advice I don't know who you shit I think, I mean I don't think you need to give him any Bitcoin That's beyond the pale Yes, that is

But can you sell some and buy him a gift? That would be a nice gesture I don't know Don't you want to You want to hodl though I think you want to hodl Just because somebody gives you Financial advice doesn't mean

That they're entitled to a piece He's not an actual You know Financial advisor By the way, you You advised me A couple years ago To sell some of my Bitcoin

And buy a whole bunch of Weird altcoins Tron, Rye blocks Ripple, weird shit And I lost cash And if I had hodled I would have had cash And I don't think you owe me money

Right? Unless I don't think so I saw that I was doing it You said teach me In fact, I think I advised you against it You said shut the fuck up You spendthrift Jew

Show me what you're doing or I'll sue I can't hodl this forever Actually, it's funny you mentioned that Because right now there's That was like an altcoin boom Where all these knockoff Bitcoin and crypto Were mooning and making people money At the end of 2017

Early 2018 And they all sort of went up And then eventually went back down to earth As most nothing coins Tend to do Now there's a whole new world of that Cropping up because It's now easy to create your own crypto

So anybody's just making their own And you can like invent and like They start off as like a micro penny Where it's like one millionth of one cent And some of them shoot up to like seven millionth of one cent And it's like oh I put in $5,000 and I have $35,000 Worth of this like weird scam coin

And then a bunch of people buy that It's kind of like doge And now it's worth like a quarter So everyone's trying to create their own new doge And it's easy to create and it's easy to convince people And some of these have millions of people And millions of people holding onto these coins That don't really do anything

So this whole thing is happening again Is there any chance that navcoin comes back then? I'm still holding You joke, I did exactly what you did I'm still holding hope That navcoin comes back Or ripple comes back Some of them did come back to their peak

Covering around 10% Of what they were worth in 2017 I mean, but I do think that For this reason because all of it Is essentially Nonsensical There's no rhyme or reason I get that it's valid

I'm not saying crypto is like I think it's as dumb as lots of things Yeah, it's just like stocks They seem to go up based on what people think Will happen more than what's actually happening Right, those do go Go up, I think, based on Feelings and projections

And how people view things The rumors more than the news But all I'm saying is That because it's also volatile And you had just as much of a chance To lose your investment Lose your money, just that your brother got it Right, doesn't

Mean That you owe him anything Also, by the way, if he was really Cared about giving you advice He told his and didn't tell you Shit Now that you mention it, that is a weird wrinkle He's like, yes, I gotta get out

I gotta get out of this, this is gonna tank Well, I didn't mention that to you Yeah, what if it actually did go All the way down to zero and he's like Oh, I sold mine for $3,000 Would he have given you any money? I think, yeah, you can't feel You can't feel too bad

But you should be grateful, you know You're happy, you know Cool, and I said he gave you this advice That you followed, you're the one that followed You followed through and you hodled When it mattered most Yeah, I can't stress enough You did a great job hodling

Which is how crypto nerds say hold Because it's based on a typo So now you know that, that's one extra thing You know about Bitcoin, congrats on that And congrats on hodling Alright, we got another question About being a workaholic If somebody who's I guess

Addicted to this new beer Called Workahol Where you just sort of, one shot Gets you completely wasted Sounds awesome, I actually know I like drinking too much Okay, here we go It's actually about being addicted to work

I think I misread it This is a 25 year old male in Phoenix, Arizona We'll call him Devin Booker Who I think is 24 but lives in Phoenix That's close enough I combine my passion For classic automobiles and welding abilities

To offer a metal restoration service After the start After starting the business from the ground And several years of work to make it operate It has finally started to give back And I make a decent living But the problem is all I do is work My life has become a perpetual cycle

Of car in, car out, 6 days a week 10 hour work schedule And most Sundays are set aside to meet clients And quote vehicles So here's my question As two individuals who have started businesses And have become very successful Wow, his words not ours

How do you find the balance between work and play Do you set aside for yourself or personal projects Do you set time aside How would you justify not working say the weekend Knowing that it could potentially mean time Money or clients lost Thank you for taking the time to read my email I listen every Monday morning

Wow, shout out Yeah, thanks Devin Tempe, so hopefully you can go back there Wow, Tempe, that was a fun show Yeah, that was a Random show we don't think about very much It was a great time Um, okay

So Do you feel like you work too much It's hard because we Technically it's Sunday night now The Academy Awards are going on and we're working It doesn't quite feel like work Because we're not fixing a car Waking up like at 6am

To go in and deal with Physical labor, manual labor But you know, our work happens To be a little bit different than normal work But we do work weird hours I've been thinking more Because I think that my My default is always being very

Self deprecating about work And saying what I do is easy And I've been thinking more recently Just because I think it's hard You're really To stand up for yourself finally Once and for all

I mean, we host so many Podcasts Yeah, but I mean Even you have like I guess buckets doesn't really count What I'm kidding You're on the headgun podcast more than me

But yeah, NADPod is like A two and a half hour Show that gets recorded every week And I go show with my brother This show with you The occasional HGPod Yeah, and It is not easy

So It's basically the only thing I really know how to do It's something that comes natural But it's still not That doesn't make it easy And just because you're doing something That you're passionate about

Doesn't mean that that's easy So First of all I guess that was a long-winded way to say that I admit that I work hard But that wasn't even the question No, god no This guy already assumed we did

So shout out to him Appreciate that And the other Work-life balance I think It's a complicated cause like To some extent If I do, I have like

I basically don't have a good professional balance I think that We have so many irons in the fire sometimes That we don't focus on like Writing TV shows or a movie Like that's what we used to do You and I would write Jake and Amir sketches And then when we weren't doing that

We wrote a movie Yeah, we only had one job And now it seems like we have Many many jobs between Podcasting, Patreoning And various other professional endeavors And again our dating app Which is a nine to five grind

I mean I am on there We really only came up with the prompts So Right And honestly that We had a lot of help with Anyway But yeah, it feels like the balance

Is still like I have like a work-life balance But not necessarily like the Exact professional one That you would want Half-time executives now too Yeah And

I mean how do you justify Not working the weekend Knowing that it could potentially mean time, money Or clients lost For him it seems like He's stretched so thin Just at this one job where like If he literally takes the weekend off

He'll cost himself money Almost seven days a week Trying to reach that break Even point where it's profitable Potentially and making him money So he's Finally got himself to that place Which seems like a very stressful place to be in

Can this guy even take a vacation Like you want to be like yeah just take two weeks off Every six months to recharge your batteries And he's like no I don't even have time to do that Yeah, well I think that is the trade off Where you're like You're an entrepreneur, you're starting your own business You do have to burn the

In oil for a little bit Like all hands on deck Head down But if he's like Now reaching the clip where he's like Able to turn a profit You know A maybe it's not that much longer

Or B if you're starting to turn a profit Maybe you can take your foot off the gas a little bit I would give like very specific advice To this dude That He sounds like he's a real artisan Like a professional He's providing a service that

People really need like Restoring their classic cars So you can just Charge what you think you're worth So then you're not hustling Non-stop to try to get new clients You're just working on One project that you can fully dedicate yourself

To and you're doing it for a Price that makes you not need to take on other work Right, can you charge more Like the simple math is like I just charge double And then even if I lose half my clients I'm making the same amount of money in half the time But of course

You might lose all of these clients I imagine that like these clients It's a small community so you know You like work on somebody's car They take that to a show then Where it gets around yada yada But I do think that you can be like You know when you have your

When you're full up on clients People like I'm not taking on any new work And that's kind of what makes people really need You to work on their car Because you're at it when you turn them away And then you're like Especially if you're If you're so busy that you're needing to do stuff on Sunday

I feel like next time you meet with somebody You could be like this is the price And if they walk away then it's fine Because you're still super busy And if they say yes Then you realize that you're You can make more cash Yeah or the tradeoff is

You can make less cash and work less hard Which everyone will make you happy Or would you rather make a little less Money but have more time To yourself if that's worth the tradeoff Then you can do that too But it's all a It's your own personal pros and cons list

Where do you Would you rather work like Would you work twice as hard as you are now For double the money I would say no Yeah same But what we did at Head Gum is like When things got busier We could have worked harder

We could have made more money But instead we hired people And we didn't make more money Yeah we started spreading the salary Around Instead of accepting all the cash And doing all the jobs ourselves For like 18 hours a day

We took less money and hired more people Yeah so maybe if you can identify Like some pain point Of your business That's like I wish I had somebody To help with this so I could focus on this And that's what would like grow the business Like then

You know then you could Do that find a partner Yeah and again if you just wanted to create Like one of these shit coins On the side sort of scam people Out of their cash and then pull the rug When the price gets Pumped you dump and then you can probably

Make millions of dollars that way Leave other people high and dry But at that point you're completely anonymous Halfway to Aruba with all their cash Hey that's what Stellar did so I feel like actually XLM is mooning right now You want to buy in now

It's only down 47% Since I bought Four years ago That's a really good because over a year Over a year that's only down 10% a year That's pretty good and Bitcoin's what Up 4,000% So that's not that much different

This fucking app is so funny It lets you look at like the movement in the last hour Yeah I guess that makes sense Yeah no wonder people are micro trading it Yeah Probably for the best that you delete that app No I still It's time for a couple dollars in here

And who's to say won't go A thousand X tonight Based on somebody's speech at an award show Or something Let's do it We're gonna answer a few more questions After these messages This show is sponsored

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And we're back How are you feeling After taking a 14-hour Drive today Right into another chair I feel Pretty good All things considered

So you're saying you're not like Your back doesn't hurt, you're not mentally fried You're not ready to give it up I'm a little mentally fried, but I think that's also because I woke up at 5am The drive itself Didn't seem that bad I feel like I've taken like 7-hour drives

That were worse than that 14-hour drive You almost checked Which hour was the hardest? Was it like hour 11 where you're like, holy shit We still have another long drive to go And we've been in this car for 11 hours I was actually listening to The Tottenham Hotspur game

They were in the final For the Carabao Cup Against Man City You know, these guys They really need some hardware They fight hard My boys, my lads, my team So the hardest

Hour of the drive was when I was listening to that game Because Man City was just hammering At the Tottenham Hotspur The entire time I was on edge And Man City, they're going to win the Premier League They're going to win the Europa League Like, they don't need this They don't need the Carabao Cup

You don't even know what the Carabao Cup is I needed the Carabao Cup I don't know what it is I don't know what it was four weeks ago either No, I didn't But when I found out that This was our last and best And only chance to win a trophy this season

I decided that I needed to win the Carabao Cup And I Thought that my boys could get it done But it was actually They lost one nil In The 84th minute or something So it was really just like

A nail biting, stressful Like every Every 30 seconds the announcers would kind of scream And there was like a really good chance On goal That it was like miraculously Not even saved but just like Just barely kicked wide or something

Like basically Man City Not quite being able to finish So I couldn't even be proud of my guys for the defending No, yeah Because they eventually led up the game winning goal Yeah So that was pretty sad That was probably a low point

Maybe that whole game And then for like an hour after that Because I didn't have anything to look forward to anymore And then what did you do food wise Did you like stop at like a McDonald's Did you allow yourself to eat fast food Or you're like let's just pack a sandwich And we'll eat it in a bathroom while we drive

Faster, get home sooner Jill made, it was the second one Jill made sandwiches And I ate my sandwich at 7am So Was that then there was snacks There was a peanut butter and jelly That we split so that was kind of lunch

Then I was eating some chips Then I had an apple And then around 3 I was really famished And we stopped by We stopped to get gas and I went in And I was like you know what fuck it I'm gonna get a chicken sandwich

I'm gonna get a chicken sandwich But I walked inside and the line was so long That I was like I can't That's why I like made the deal with myself The bargain that I was gonna eat the garbage As a reward for the drive You get the garbage It was too crowded so I left

And actually right now It is almost 9pm I have a burrito That has been delivered It's in the other room How you can still focus on this Is mine though I mean you're hangry and you have a Full fucking burrito

Just waiting for you and here we are Well actually I'm yammering on about How I have the burrito in the other room Yeah I'm kind of yammering on about what I ate today Yeah I had a sandwich Then I was gonna have a chicken sandwich And now I have a burrito in the other room

But I'm doing this At this point I should just be eating the burrito We got questions About football recently Because of that whole super league That people said they were gonna start I guess a bunch of the best clubs in Europe Were gonna for a few days

Are gonna launch Their own separate league called The super league and then the fans got so mad That they all decided to not join The super league is that somewhat correct Yeah essentially it was the one thing That united all football fans Was hatred for the super league

Yeah Our buddy Jasper from Three black halflings is actually gonna come on the Show I think we're recording with him This week so maybe next week He'll be able to tell you Much more about it But basically

Yeah the It sort of exists now Like the four best teams In the premier league and like the two best teams From the Spanish league like all of like the best Basically it's like the teams With the top records go into this thing Called the Europa League so like

Teams from France Can play teams from England in this Europe cup Barcelona from Spain is the best Team there and they'll play the best team from England but basically the best Teams

Not even that's the weird thing so like Basically kind of the top like 12 markets for teams Just decided like hey We don't want to keep on competing to have to Qualify for this every year Let's just make our own tournament where it's always Us

And then we're always in and we'll Make more money so like yeah it's kind of Just ruined football for everybody and the funny Thing it's it's the funny Thing is like some teams that just Haven't really won anything in a long Time were included it's like If it's like if the 12 11

Best teams and also the Knicks Decided to make their own biggest market Right it's like if the Clippers Were involved it's like wait you guys have never Made it to the conference finals why are you Here and we're from LA Yeah exactly so We get to join the party as it were

Yeah I see and then how did it end up Not happening after just one weekend Of tweets I think just Like I don't know I mean There are protests erupted in England They were like burning jerseys out in front Of stadiums so I think that like

I think the backlash was Pretty severe I think The owners maybe Deluded themselves into thinking that people Were gonna like it so Having it be roundly rejected Wasn't good A lot of like the players and the coaches people

That'd be playing in the league and coaching The teams in the league spoke out Against it I see And then like I think Liverpool Bailed on it first and then the teams Just kind of started like you know fallen Like dominoes after that

Interesting yeah it's it's cool That sometimes angry Fans are right and sometimes They actually listen to you by billionaires That's that's a rare maybe that's It's because it happened in Europe in America They would have like laughed burned A cigar with a hundred dollar bill

And moved on with their lives yeah exactly But you know that is Interesting that you say that because a lot of those teams Are owned by Americans So maybe there's hope for us yet Fucking cowards this is why we left England it's because we didn't have Just listening to poor people you're just in a mood

I'm just I'm pro ownership Is all so like I'm on their side I don't necessarily care about these You're a big Bezos guy I actually I've been petitioning for musk Elon musks to host SNL and it's finally Finally happened yeah yes hell yeah

May 8th everybody check it out My boy my guy My dude it's a musk Watch TV Nice thank you Musk CTV I'm gonna pitch that to Streeter Okay one last question

Yeah then I have my burrito Yeah Jesus Burrito it sounds good Thanks man like you're just sitting here Because you just didn't eat huh With the Wendy's was no good Did you even get a snack to like tide yourself over I did actually get a kind of like

A sleeve of pepperoni But the way that Tasted on my mouth wasn't It wasn't right So I didn't without the cheese Without any other appetizer Without it's not It's not charcuterie

It's just the pepperoni Yeah it's not a charcuterie board If you just have it in a loose sleeve No way and now you have this This pill This amazing thick pill for you To just go ahead I mean my god am I just taking one bite

Of that burrito that would be Oh my mouth is watering Honestly my mouth is watering With the pepperoni at this point So Okay let's get to this question then This is a dude We'll call him

Burrito Bill No that's too obvious Because this actual name is Burrito William Let's call him Peter pepperoni Right A couple months ago I became Suddenly single after five and a half years Recently I decided to get back on dating apps

Naturally Although my match rate is reasonable I feel like my profile is lacking In one crucial area Picture of myself with friends The problem is All those pictures feature my ex I'm in the UK and while the vaccine game is pretty strong

It'll still be a while before I can get close enough To my friends for a photo That might reassure potential matches That I'm not a social outcast So here's my questions Those pictures with the ex in them Can I just crop her out Peter pepperoni

Peter pepperoni you can crop your ex out Here's the thing I think people can tell I think it's clear Unless it's like an actual Just photo of you two They won't know that it's an ex It's like you a girl

I guess if your hand's around the girl and there's other It depends what the photo is But I do think that Even if it's just a photo of two people I think that the assumption Is that you and your ex And it really ruins the photo Even if it's not your ex

Even if it's you and your sibling That's one of my favorite photo prompts For the Orion Profile You have to upload nine photos With various prompts and one of them is you and your ex So you get to use that good photo Which is really

I think I have a photo of me and you And it says you and your enemy I'm fucking with you man It's fine That's a joke Yes Your reaction

No, not okay By the way You're still mad and even your initial reaction Was too much Now you're snarling at me Pirate Who's your enemy now Kilian's Irish red

That's a whiskey I can drink It's a beer What's that Kilian's Irish red is a beer Okay You're gonna fucking call me out on everything And vodka is a wine Like I get it

I know what shit is You don't have to like hem and ha And review and audit every joke I make I won't anymore, I'm sorry You did say vodka was a wine Which is Incorrect obviously, right It's a clear

You know what vodka is It's not a wine What's Rummy from Grabes What's Rum Good question Rum is when you Forget an olive in a La Croix for a month That might be

Really You rarely have a Rum enthusiast You rarely see that It's like yeah I really like whiskey I'm like oh I'm like a wine connoisseur Rum man So I'll sort of look and wait and see What's your Rum list

Yeah I feel like Rum is like an island thing It's pineapple liqueur If you have any Baja friends They probably like Rum The Room This guy should crop out Should not crop out

You should download Orion That's the one that gives you the prompts There's no guesswork I love the prompts I think if you If you're on Some subpar standard ass dating app I think

Crop an X But really try to crop it Don't make it look like it's a romantic If it's sunset And you are leaning to the left And your arm is clearly around one person And you crop somebody's And you can see their chin close to your face

I think that's too obvious Of a crop If you're just talking about your conscience Because this is a Trip that we took And she's in this photo on the side Or even like this is a photo that she took of me I think that's okay

I think that's alright Because we're just starting to get through What about the cheeky covering Of the face with an emoji Then it's sort of like look at me I'm hugging a frog Isn't that silly I'm actually spooning here

This is a sex tape with me And a rabbit Don't do that one But imagine your axe is also getting back on the axe She just Sees a photo of you hugging a frog She's like What the fuck

She could be a frog If she broke my heart She deserves to be an emoji of an egg On her head And I'll get the last laugh That's your opening chat Yeah I didn't really look at your photos

In fact I swiped you right by accident Unmatch Yeah No crop I think you can get by with A crop or two And you don't have to worry But you use your judgment

You can't go with an egregious crop If it's clearly a romantic photo crop Why is it bad too What's the big deal This is a picture of me with my axe Why is that grounds for dismissal It's not that bad I think it projects an image of someone

Who is not really that available To date Yeah By the time you're however years old Everyone's been in a relationship before Isn't that a good thing I'm not saying that I wouldn't assume whoever is on the

If all of your photos feature an axe It feels like a more recent thing It just feels like they're Nearer in your life And I'd probably rather go out with someone That is definitely over their axe Than hung up on their axe Yeah that's true

Alright Toda I mean I have to change everything About my profile It's a love letter To your ex I know But I wanted to project

That I have an axe I've actually been with more than one woman Two of the photos are just A list that I took one time On my notes app of everybody I've Made out with or frenched that day Day Maximum one

Have you ever kissed more than one person in a day Yeah I didn't think so No I have not I never bring that up Fuck There's still time I guess What's your maximum Of people I kissed in a day

Yeah It feels like There's definitely been like Parties where Like everyone was making out Like what's been the bottle Where like multiple people made out I've done that

I've never done that I think we actually did that At your birthday party I wasn't involved Nor was I invited That party It was a Amir's not here type of celebration

It was at your ex's apartment Yeah she sort of Through a ding dong The bitch's dead suare Oh it was right after you broke up The spin the bottle thing She broke up with you over brunch It sounded hot

It was funny because you came in there Crying to collect your stuff To pick up my shit I had a notebook And I think of volleyball You did leave the notebook and you didn't get that back Because we were in your ex's bedroom Reading it

I slipped on some beer And I twisted my ankle I had to sort of lay low for a little in her room You didn't lay that low We actually turned you into a pinata You were a joke You lifted me up You raised me up

So you can beat the shit Out of me You raised me out You choked me out You hung me out to dry Literally On a clothesline After taking turns with a switch

You sort of just dumped my life List body on a fire escape Which I thought was silly that year And I still can hear out of my right ear This is the Satisfucking slam foam autobiography No, only half of that stuff is true Don't worry, I'm doing great

Okay, that's it That's our time, that's our show You have to go eat a fucking burrito for crying out loud You should start an only fan Where you just eat a burrito on video People would pay top dollar To see you Make sour cream

You ever get stuff like guacamole on the side of your mouth Sounds like you would pay top dollar I'm not fucking starting one I'm gonna pin down you Opening theme song, Lucas of course Closing one, Anderson Reagan Anderson Reagan wants to plug their tiktok At Churvel

That's C-H-U-R-V-E-L My girlfriend broke up with me And has nearly a hundred thousand Followers So you understand how bad I need this The sample at the beginning Is Amir reading my band name From episode 471

So follow At Churvel on tiktok Thank you, Anderson, for writing this Theme song Thanks to you guys for listening More videos every week On our Patreon We're watching all the Amir videos to check us out there as well

Patreon.com J-A Happy Oscar Monday, everybody Wow, I bet Hollywood's biggest stars Shown so bright last night And I'm so excited to read the recap And the red carpet Actually, Jake, before we go

Who are you wearing? Let's, you know, let's just Roll the music, man For sure, let's roll the music Jake Hurwitz Host if I were you Rolling in New York Golden Mike

Jake hosts a podcast And it's called If I Were You I sent in a theme song And I asked A question to like What's it like to get a Golden Mike? What's it like to get a Golden Mike?

I'm asking Jake Not of me Let me be perfect Let me be clear I think that Jake Is the one true king That was a hit gum original