If I Were You - 507: Candles (w/Geoffrey James!)

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

Friend and host of the Headgum Podcast, Geoffrey James, joins us to discuss air conditioning, small towns, and our first live show in years! Tickets at headgum.com/liveSee omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum original. You gotta earn this, booty. Wow. I really thought he was Irish. I thought he was Scottish. I thought he was a Scotsman. Yeah. He is.

He is? At the end it didn't sound like he had an accent. He did, yeah. It's like this opposite thing where usually you can't hear the accent until you're talking. You could only hear the accent when he was singing and not when he was talking. Did he have an accent when he was talking? I don't know because you were fucking like, you were barely listening and it was distracting and then I couldn't hear it.

Jeff Diddy. You couldn't hear it because I wasn't listening? That doesn't make any fucking sense. Jeff Diddy, have an accent or not. Don't just sit there between us waiting for a fucking mommy and daddy to stop talking. Like chime in, say something. I was waiting for an introduction, a proper introduction with my credits. Everything I've ever done in the entertainment industry and elsewhere.

Yeah, you know this guy from Hardly or Off Day's Jost Busters. Yeah. He was in a commercial. What else did he do? He was in a commercial once. I think it's because we know Vinny or something that fucking did us a favor. Put you in an ad once. You're not verified on Instagram.

You're not verified on TikTok. You're a nobody man, a plebeian guy who's I guess semi successful for his age. More or less because yeah, as he gets older, it becomes less aggressive. Yeah, you at 20 was really something. It was like, wow, this guy. That was his kid. I said this kid is skyrocketing. Right.

Now what are you, 21? This fucking golden child. He's on one. He's 22. Oh my God. Oh God. You're over the hill. What do you have?

What do you have to show? So we're all over 22. Talentless hacks, both of you. I think we're all over. Talentless hacks, the both of you. Why? Because I saw the Jake and Amir NFTs episode and it's actually not pleasing to the ears really.

That's the, as yet to be released, you got to sneak peek. You've soured me on comedy. I'm pivoting to music. We inspired you. I'm singing in the rain. Just sing. What's that? This is the beginning of the turn.

That's actually an inspired, that's an inspired turn. Yeah. That could be huge actually. Speaking of music, that guy wrote this email in from Dublin and he says, this might be your first Irish submission. Jake, do you know why he might say that? Is it sort of a riddle? No.

First Irish submission. Jeff, do you have any guesses? Why did this person write, this might be your first Irish submission? I don't know, but that's not true for me because I once was domed by a woman named O'Flaherty. Yeah, he was talking about. So she sort of gagged and tied me up. Yeah. And I also subbed to write for an Irish TV show.

The answer is, and everybody you can play this riddle at home too, why does this person think it might be our first Irish submission? The answer, because he emailed us this theme song in 2013. There you go. That's it. That's right. We had just started the podcast. Jeff was four in our late 30s.

And I didn't find this guy's submission until today because I searched the word theme instead of song to see if there's anything that we missed. And I never read this guy's email from August of 2013. What are the odds he still listens to the show? I replied to him. What are the odds he's alive? I replied and I said, you're never going to believe this, but we just found this email and we'll use it for the next episode.

Are you still alive? And did he respond? He replied. And what did he say? Yeah. That's so funny. I'm pretty much alive. I can't even remember what song this is, but yeah, use it.

Also, can you shout out my improv team VHS? We have a monthly show called The Improvised Blockbusters starting next Thursday at the Etc Theater in Camden, London. Wow. So he actually has something to promote right now for next month. That's incredible. How cool is that? And it's in London.

He's left out. Yeah. Good on you. So what you were sort of picking up on was his hesitancy to use his full Irish breakfast, Killian's Irish, London with an improvised blockbuster debut. What? What? What did you just do?

It was a Manchester accent, I think, too. Really? I was trying to do it. Don't give up. When you do something like that, you have to power through. Killian's Irish, Londoner? What you do is you do these big swings. They don't work and then you give up and you look defeated, so we have to build you back

up. Yeah, I don't want to do the stupid accent anymore unless you guys like it. That was awful. I hated it. You said Killian's Irish, Londoner. You're redeemable. That doesn't mean anything. Yeah, I understand.

You're from the Killian's Irish backdrops of the eight East Camden Londoners. Oi, we're doing improv at the Blockbuster Theater. Calm down, one and all. Not at all. It's more than enough of the accent of the character. You're embarrassing me. Why? Because you don't do characters.

You do these voices and you spew nonsense. It's like at least Jake re-invents himself. This is something that I wanted to commend you on. I was thinking about this earlier. Oh, thank you. The whole commercial directing angle was, to me, inspirational to see that you- It was a pivot. No, it was in addition because you didn't stop doing what worked.

I didn't use shit. It's a building block. Exactly. You're lily padding your way to success. I wanted you to know that I appreciate to see that. That's awesome. I'm looking into doing design work. Seeing Fronette juxtaposed with CSS style.

Killian's Irish, Londoner. Yeah, man. That was me, basically. That's so good. Yeah. I mean, I make the accent work. I love it when he does it. I mean, what were you saying?

I wasn't listening. I was saying that I also, I'm starting to do freelance design work, web design. Do you have an example, like a physical sample? Nothing yet. I'm still figuring out my portfolio. That's what a portfolio is. We're not starting to do anything. Yes, exactly.

And I'm working on the portfolio because I'll have a portfolio and I'll actually have a Rolodex that includes the portfolio. I'll have different sketches in the portfolio. It'll be a Manila portfolio. You don't even have the portfolio yet? I don't need the portfolio yet because I haven't designed it. You're saying you need it. You're thinking about, I'm thinking about getting a folder.

Right. You want a folio. You want a folio. Yes. And you want to say that you do design, but you don't even have the fucking folio yet. I need the fucking Manila thing that you used to organize your shit. It's a folio. Okay.

That's a folio. So, why are you getting so upset? Because you don't even know what it is and you think you need it. He did things for Vogue. He did things for Oral B or something like that. Yes. And I'm on my fucking way to staples when you guys want to have a folio. You haven't even chosen.

I'm going to go to a store and I'll get a divider actually. How dope is that? A fucking folder and dividers. I really don't think so. Actually, a D-ring binder. Okay, so you're just doing a back to school shopping trip. Are you going to get an eraser? I am.

I'm going to get a protractor, a D-ring, a binder, dividers, and a folio. And a mechanical pencil too. That's really good. Yeah, you were talking Danny Zero off the other day at the office about maybe buying a trapper keeper. I'm thinking about it. I am really thinking about it. Are you going back to school?

You're going, you're returning, you're Billy Massing. But I'm going the other way now. Your dad made a weird bet with one of his exec friends. I'm going to go 12th grade back down to K. That's the only difference. That's good. All right. The reverses. If I were you, the only advice pod on the web hosted by me and Jake, and today we're

joined by Jeffrey himself, the dumbass. Thanks for having me. It's always fun doing this show. It's not over. It's just starting. Yeah, we should say we're hitting the road together. Jeff and I are coming to New York. Jake's already there, but we're doing a live head gum podcast.

Correct. Yeah. So plug it up top and then I'll plug it at the end. The head gum podcast. It's like, it's like if I were you, but more manic. Yeah. If you can believe that. Yeah.

That's it. Yeah. It's more manic. You're, you're a little bit of a scoundrel. Yeah. Diab, yeah. You're a diabolical circus. Yeah.

A ringleader of sorts. Yeah. A ringleader. Yes. It's become a, yeah. And Jeff sort of in charge of this insane quasi game show that people rarely win or lose. It's a British panel show hosted by a moron. Everybody.

How did you, he just, he hacked into the zoom. He's playing. And he's playing his sound. You know, I'll be recording those sounds. You have to send me them now and I have to edit them in. I'm recording them. All right. Cool.

So it'll be on your track. In a way. In a way. That's cool. But I don't want to. Sorry. Everybody. I don't want to take away from your show.

You're fucking commentating this show. This is crazy. You're taking over this show. No, it's just, let's have a good time. Let's get to know each other a little more. Wait, not gonna, you're not the guest. You're the, you're the guest. You're not the host.

You're just, you're directing the cut. You're starting directing. I'd like to hear where this is going. Yeah. What I'm saying is that we've known each other for what, five years now? Yeah. But there's things about you guys that I don't know. So throughout this show, let's just get to know each other a little bit more.

That's all I'm saying. Have you guys played Jake or cake? This is a picture of a Twinkie or Jake's Twinkie ass dick. You know, he has a little cream filled puff pastry dick. Oh, that's funny. Oh, come on. That's really good. Really nice.

Because the comb is the cream. Real mature. Yeah. Yeah. The thickness is sort of like a Twinkie. Yeah. It's spongy. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. It's also the, yeah. It's the consistency. It's funny. It's funny to talk about. It's string wrap still. Yeah.

It's string wrap. Yeah. That's right. There's a cookie crumble almost, and that's sort of your, your, your pubes. Yeah. Let's put this to rest right now. I'll show you guys. No.

Oh, gangrene on the dick. Absolutely gangrene. It's a hostess cupcake. On your snout. Yeah. That's what I'm about. Gout. Really good.

Anal gangrene. Ganal green. What is the show? The show is questions, answers. Let's try to answer. Let's try to focus a little bit. This isn't the head gum podcast. Although we should say that tickets are available at head gum.com slash live.

All right. This is an email address. Sorry. This is an email we received not eight years ago, but eight days ago. Whoa. Recent. Very recent. It's pretty fucking low budget, which made me laugh.

It's just called my brother won't take off his jacket. That's this person's problem. He's a 22 year old male. So Jeff, do you have any friends who are 22 year old males? I know you're 23, but do you hang out with anybody that's actually younger than you? Yeah. Billy Brick. Really?

He's 22. Damn. Younger. And he's been in movies and shit too, right? Have you been in any movies? I did sort of a promo material for a feature. And then everybody thought I was in the future and I'm not. All right.

Billy Brick. Right. I'm a 22 year old male. This isn't an 824 movie. Yeah. With a genuine question for two. Now three genuine guys. I got my brother a job working with me at a factory and it's great because we could

carpool together because he doesn't have a car and he even pitches in with gas. Awesome. Here's the issue. It's getting to be colder out and I need the heat on so as to not fog up the windows, but my brother hates the heat. I swear his room is always freezing and he always has the AC on full blast. We have dual climate control, so it's not really a big issue. But since I need the heat on for the front windshield, he's been opening his window so

he doesn't feel like he's overheating and he lets all the heat out. It's wasting heat and my windows will start to fog up and it's starting to cause tension and I have begin to lock the windows and control it myself. And it would work except for one thing. He always wears a winter coat. It's this large leather coat that retains heat well. I told him if it was hot to take off the jacket, but he made some comment about it being comfortable. So here's my question.

How do I get through winter with him being this way? Am I an asshole for not making sure he's comfortable in my car? So this guy won't take off his jacket and then he sort of complains about the heat. Do you guys run hot or cold? Do you guys prefer hot or freezing? Jake, let's say it at the same time. I'm perfectly three, two, one. Medium.

Medium. Right in the middle. You are so much delayed. Yeah, you have to have the same answer. It wasn't special. It wasn't the zoom because it was delayed even beyond the normal delay. Because Jake said medium and then use it cold and medium. So it seems like you sort of veered off as soon as you heard Jake answer.

Yeah. Why is it important to match my body temperature? We could have other things in common. No, just so we connect in a way that helps the podcast out. But I'm medium. Aside from all that, I'm medium. It helps the podcast out. I run extremely hot, so I empathize with this guy's roommate, the guy he's complaining about.

100%. You're like, if it's like 40 degrees out, let's open the windows and make it fucking cold in this house. You don't like artificial heat. Yeah. I wonder if that's a real thing running hot. Like, is your body temperature actually hotter or do you just experience it differently? It is. My normal resting temperature is 99.

Really? Yeah. How do you know that? That must have been hard during COVID. Every time they're taking temperatures, you're like on the cusp. And then you actually got COVID, which couldn't have helped. And then I got the vibe, yeah. I was like 102 at a certain point.

Yeah, very hot. No, but I keep my room at a nice 67. Oh, wow. So AC running pretty much all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And anytime I get in my car, or I hit my truck, I should say. Nice.

Oh, yeah. God, we haven't fucking talked. I feel like we have, Jeff actually, we do have a lot in common. A 2000 Tacoma or 2001. What year is it? 2003. 2003. Very, very cherry.

Yeah. It's literally the truck that you used to drive. Yeah. Different colorway. You got the beige. No, I got the green. That champagne. Oh, you got green?

I have the same exact fucking truck as you. Wow. But really what happened was that I needed, I had an insanely high credit card bill because we hadn't been paid ad money that were still owed. So I needed to free up some cash to pay that off. So I sold my RAV and I got this old Tacoma. Wow. And then there were two.

There was silver and green. Silver and green. Nice. Silver and green. So what should this guy do? Sorry about that money situation you were in. Jacket. Yeah.

I'm trying to sing my way out. I'm trying to make cash from singing. But yeah, this is. Fuck. This is it. Wait. Wow, that is Jake's old car. Yeah, that's the exact same fucking car.

Anyway, AC is always blasting in that thing. Same license plate too. You like it? I love it. It's awesome. I've done a couple things with the bed. Billy and Finn finally moved to LA so I drove them down to get ice cream from their place. And they sat in the bed?

They sat in the bed. Yeah. It was awesome. It was like a movie moment. What ice cream? I love ice cream. Finn's. Let Uncle Amir into the car.

I don't want to blow up his spot. I was going to say let Uncle Amir in the car. You did say that. You're over twice Finn's age. Yeah. Really? It's weird when you even speak with him. He was born when you were 20.

That's fucking gross. We can do throw you out. It's actually foul that you call yourself Uncle Amir or not. I am an uncle. It's not like I'm an uncle to him. I'm just saying, yeah. You have nibblings as they're called actually. One yes.

No way. Yeah, it's true. I'll be tall just told me about that word. Gender neutral niece and nephew is a nibbling. Kind of fun. Wow. It's gender neutral but it sounds absolutely weird to say. Uncle Amir wants another nibbling.

I would love to go with you all. Don't say that even near Finn. That's someone you would, I don't know. Yeah, you end up on a fucking list. This is also such a small thing but brush your hair because you look disheveled and bad. And you're a professional. I'm working from home so I don't feel the need to manicure, pedicure, sort of do me up right. I'm not even wearing pants.

Are you not? I'm being comfortable in my own skin at least. Let me see what you're wearing. No. My little... I'll see. Move your computer down. Tip the laptop screen.

Let's see what you're wearing. Oh. He has a Twinkie penis. That's insane. It's actually called a nibbling. Oh, that's really good. Thank you. So yeah, so this guy...

Yeah, nice. Give me applause. You're stealing the show. You're literally stealing the show. I think this guy's in the wrong. No, if you're driving, he's driving, right? You're in charge. No.

If you're driving, you're in charge. You get to control everything. You know, you try to make it as comfortable as you can for the passenger within reason. But if it's fogging up your window, if you're shivering, it's... That's not fair. And your passenger is wearing a jacket. He's wearing a leather coat to a factory. That's not...

Yeah. I think the issue is really it's the long leather jacket. That's... Yeah. And you're running hot so it's kind of sweaty. It's like stuck to him in a certain way. You've got to just ask him to peel it off. Tell him you'll help him.

And you can get that off. You know the other thing that I wanted to mention? It's this transitional time, the summer to fall that has a lot of... It's hard to regulate. But once it's actually cold, I think you and your brother will both be in the same page. The other thing you could do is that you could wear a jacket in the cold. Yeah. That's the thing...

Well, I think it should always be seated to the person who's overheating. You cannot take your... Sorry. It was barely an interruption. It's just you had me on so it's like if you're not going to hear me out. I am. I was building on it. Seated to the overheated.

It's hard to get a word and edge wise sometimes when I'm on a show with a mirror. Yeah. When you're on this show with a mirror, I'm always on this show. I think... Yeah, I think it should be seated to the person who's overheating because you cannot take your skin off but you can take a coat off. Yeah, you could take the jacket off. That guy shouldn't be wearing the jacket and that's where he's going wrong.

But if you're cold, just put a jacket on. If you're hot but you're on a t-shirt, you can't do anything. So I think turn the AC on. Turn the AC on. Turn it on. You're not allowed to hang out with Finn either. Really? Yeah.

We're trying to protect him. Yeah. It's the mustache. Do you guys have leather jackets? I just sent you guys a photo of one that I've been trying to cop. It's sort of fire. This is a leather jacket? What's that?

It looks like one of those puffy jackets. It's leather puffer, yeah. They make leather puffers? Oh. Yeah. Isn't leather too stiff to be puffed in this way? You can loosen leather. I feel like we're getting off track.

I've never heard of a leather jacket. You just sent us a photo of it. You're introducing your own soundboard to our fucking podcast. It's not. It's co-option. It's appropriation. And it's not appropriate. All right.

That's more than enough. That's absolutely more than enough. Jake, do you have a leather jacket? No. I think last fall or the fall before that, I was contemplating suede. Why'd you yell that to Jill? Gateway.

Gateway 11. She vetoed it. That's why. I was thinking about a suede, but she vetoed it. Yeah. I was persuade otherwise. No way to suede. Nice.

Dwayne suede. That's good. Do you wear Everworn? Does your Rodney Everwore leather as a jacket? Is there a leather jacket in Rodney's closet? I can't pull off a leather jacket. I'd love to be able to, but I think if you're not a rock band. Everyone says that, and everyone thinks that.

But you take fashion swings. You have overalls. You wear robes. You have smoking jackets. I mean, you have shoulder length hair and a mustache right now. I feel like that's, you should get it. I mean, at the very least, I'd love to see you in a suede. Oh, I would do a suede in a day.

Let's see you and I, when I'm in New York for the show, by the way, October 22nd, live, headgum podcast, 7pm. Tickets on sale now. Headgum.com slash live. We should go to Soho of all places and get a hide that is considered none other than suede. A cow hide? Yeah. A cow hide coat.

That sounds really fucking cool. I think shearling is underrated to me to wear. We got a, yeah. We got to take the pilot. The pilot jacket. I like that. I like the shearling. We do have to take a break.

But let's. I think shearling. Yeah. I know what you're saying. Sheerlings. You guys know Indie darlings? We really, really, really, really have to take a break now. So you guys can talk about this shit.

I want to wear a windy shearling. We'll be back on the color of these. If you want a holler. Oh, that's good. BRB. Thank you to Helix Sleep for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yes. Thank you for making the sleep test, the sleep exam, and letting me ace it and become the

doctor of the mattress. Yes, sir. Yeah. So Helix makes a really great mattress line and you take a little sleep quiz to see what mattress is right for you. Mm-hmm. Yeah, right. Jake's been bragging about completing this two minute, honestly, like Buzzfeed light

quiz. I don't. I don't. How do you sleep for the better part of a decade? Excuse me. I do not. I do not brag. I don't brag about completing it.

I brag about acing it. Because you got the mattress and it was great or? Yeah. I got the perfect mattress. Thank God. I took that test. That's right. And if you want the perfect mattress, you can go to helixsleep.com slash if I were you

for 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows. Amazing. Free pillows? Come on. Yes. This is their best offer yet. And no, it won't last long with Helix. The better sleep starts now.

Now. So regardless of how you sleep, whether you like it soft, medium, or firm, Helix has 20 unique mattresses just ready to go based on how you fill up that sleep preference and they'll send you the best one. And if you go to helixsleep.com slash if I were you, that's 20% off. Amazing. Thank you, Helix. Sleep well.

And we're back. Jeff, do you have any? Oh, it's a lift. It's a fight. Oh, I'm coming. Gross. God damn it. Do you guys have anything or do you do one?

You don't? Yeah, it's just, we've been sort of scraping the bottom of the barrel. I think at one point, Jake was just like, I'm seizing less. Okay. Yeah, let's hear yours. Oh God. I have two. Can I do both?

Yeah. Please. One, spend a little bit of extra money to join a gym that you enjoy being at. That's not where you should cut costs because if you cut costs, you're not going to go to the gym. I just joined a gym that has machines that the climbing gym doesn't have. And it's $45 a month, which is kind of a lot, double what 24-hour fitness is. But to me, it's worth it because most of it's outdoors, so you don't have to wear a mask,

and it has nice turf, nice new machines, everybody's cool. Let me fucking finish. What gym is this? And I think it's good. That's all I was going to say. I'd like to know what gym it is. That was nothing. It's called everybody's.

Get mad at that. Everybody. Everybody. You cut me off. Get stupid. Everybody. Everybody. Let's get into it.

Get stoned. Get started. Get started. Get started. Get started. This is an ad for the gym. That's me walking in tomorrow. Everybody.

Everybody. Right? I can get behind that advice. I think that's good advice. You want to feel excited about going to the gym. The gym, it's dangerous in that like, you know, working out is hard. So it's pretty easy to talk to yourself out of it if you don't like being there. But I really like, I like being at my gym.

Yeah. Well, your gym is, oh my God. It's, it's the one reason I want to move to New York. Jesus. What about me? You obviously idolized me. You bought my car. Truck, first of all.

Join the gym. You wouldn't fucking move to, I'll hang out with you if you move to New York. For me, that's not a plus. Cause then I'm, it's like hanging out with your boss. It's like now I'm suddenly feeling like I have to talk about work. And then like, if I've messed up at work that day and then we're going to get a drink that night, then it's like residual weirdness. I seek validation all the time.

So I would like give you a promotion, give you a raise, you know, you talk to me about work. I'm like, what can we do? You'll be running the company soon enough. Yeah. I got an email today. You and I, from Equinox. Just saying, you and I could host.

The second unsolicited advice is buy a candle. The second unsolicited advice is buy a candle. You don't have to. You don't have to. But if you have it, you have the air about you, that the air around you is nice to smell. Okay. I am going to come out against candles. Interesting.

Holy shit. I don't like seeing them. Unlit around my house. They look like garbage to me. They look like little pieces of litter and trash. And this is Jake talking. She laced a nice one down. This is from Malabo.

It's $500. Yes. It is a laugh. I'm wearing a trash. Sweating my ass off. That's what the majority of the renovation process was like. Which would show you two options for a sconce and you'd be like, these are both garbage sconces for you to have chosen.

These are trash to me. By extension, you are garbage to me. I'm slowly becoming a cowboy. Jake, what about a lit candle? I don't hate a lit candle when I walk into a room. I think that's nice. And I think that's the trade off. But I don't like candles as decoration during the day.

If they're not lit, they ain't shit. That's what I say about you. Oh, that's good. Anything that rhymes is good, by the way. That's true. What about if your candle's unlit, I think that's it. That's the opposite. It's still rhymes.

Do you think that's true? Jeffrey, you sort of made a proclamation and I'm trying to debunk. Stop listening to me. So I guess you're kind of winning the argument. I have another piece. I've got unsolicited advice this week, too, actually. Really? I've been enjoying a quiet lunch.

Oh, really? Anybody out there? So nobody would enjoy a quiet lunch? And you're sort of trying to spin it into something interesting? No. Well, sometimes when you eat by yourself, when everyone's working from home or you're not on the same schedule with your friend or whatever, you eat your lunch. And then what do you do?

You eat it in front of your computer. You eat it while you're looking on your phone. And I'm trying to find little pockets of my life where I'm using technology passively and cut that out. So lunch was a big one. I'd be like, okay, I'm going to eat lunch. That's a nice time to look at my phone and distractions. But then work things, they'll pile in.

Do you talk to people or you just sit and eat and that's it? You try to be mindful. They've all been lunches by myself. So I don't talk to anyone. I just sort of look around and I reflect and I think and I eat my food. And if I get really bored, I'll fire up YouTube, go on my phone. I have my iPad there. You're doing it right now.

Got a phone and an iPad. Virtual reality goggles and all kind of. Enter a FAP dungeon if you will. I do. I don't actually. Can you tell us about your Lasik? Yeah, I will. But not yet.

Later. Yeah. In the episode. That's something to keep them. If you're just tuning in, stay tuned for Jeff's Lasik story. Okay. And now they're not going to turn it off. Right.

Yeah. So we'll do it after the next break. Yeah. But before then we can answer a question. Yeah. I know I like the mindful lunch thing. You do? I like that.

I even tried that. I should. I think for me, I've been trying to get off technology and screens because like, I don't know, podcast records, this should be in person, but it isn't because, well, let's be honest, Marty hasn't set up the studio yet. But also it's like for a year, we had to do these over zoom. And so like, I want that human connection, that human ish. So lunch will be with Danny.

Lunch will be with Cohen, you know. So are you, you're going into the office. Is it every day? Like two days a week. Because if we have to record, we can't go into the office because we don't have a studio. It has to be. I'm angry about it. I'll be openly angry about that.

That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I've never seen this upset. No, Marty said that he ordered it a while ago and it just hasn't come yet. I've had the opposite problem where the studio is the only place I can record because when I don't record there, I've been transient.

My office at my house is like not set up yet. Yeah. So now for the, now it like feels good to record here. I hope it sounds good. It sounds good to me. Fucking hope so. Yeah. There's some sound dampening shit.

So it should be less echo. That's right. Before we, before we move on from candles though, these are my three candle recommendations. They're all very expensive, but they're all worth it. And they last a while. Blind barber, Tompkins candle. Get the large one. It lasts a lifetime.

That's this blue one that I just showed you guys. How expensive was it? $72. Maison Louis Marie number four. Sandalwood. Really expensive. $36. Oh, it's not as bad as I thought.

Those two are the best. And then there's the Chateau Marmont candle, $65. And you bought all three. But they all smell so good. Yeah. Do you light them in the morning? Are they lit right now? One of them is, yeah.

You just have them going all day. All day. I've got a question. You never light all three at the same time. No, that would be too expensive. You're lighting one depending on the mood, depending on what you're lighting. And they are all very sexy. Really?

So will you do that as you're about to masturbate alone? You got to stop bringing up the fapping thing. Especially if it's with an employee. You really cannot ask him how he does that. Jeff is, unfortunately, a contractor. I'm a freelancer, yeah. So he can kind of do whatever he wants. All right.

I can ask. How do you fucking... We've been on his show. We asked about our sex life. Yeah, but that's it going up. I'm afraid you can't ask him. I can't remember. Oh, sorry.

Yeah, I was saying we can't ask our employees. But they can necessarily do whatever they want upward, I think. Right. Anyway, how do you crank it? Yeah. How do I whack it? You took all the fun out of it. Light a candle.

Lift up a mattress, fleshlight, stamina training kit, shoved into between the mattress and the bed, and I am thrusting. I mean, I'm going to town on it, man. It's unbelievable. No lube. No lube. I asked you to lift candles while you jerked off. Amir is the one that asked how you did it specifically.

Edging myself. I think, right? Because Ankh is in control the whole time. Ankh. And that's where Ankh gets in. Your uncle comes back. No, your uncle, Amir, I'm Ankh. I hate it.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't light them for masturbating, but for sex, for sure. And I'll just throw out the day, you know? Get into it. Lionel Richie. Lionel Richie is another unsolicited advice. We don't have to.

Yeah. One was enough. During sex, two was great. And three, I think you're just overstepping your bounds and overstaying your welcome, actually. And you're not welcome because you didn't say thank you, understood, asked, and answered. Jesus. I woke up to a text from you saying we need you to come on the show so we can promote

the Hedgum Live episodes in New York, which are not selling well. Yeah. Which is great. A nice peek behind the curtain, to be sure. And I appreciate that. Like, that's that behind the scenes shit that I think our audience really craves. Don't say that's that when it's a really sad situation. Yeah.

That's that funeral shit. Yeah. That's that funeral home shit. That's that crying to yourself on public transit. Well, NADPOD sold out in like two hours, right? Less, yeah. But yeah. Sorry.

Yeah. No, it's like 40 minutes, but yeah. No, I get it. And Hedgum Live is opening for NADPOD. So as the NADPOD fervor heats up, people will just sort of leak into the Hedgum Pod live show. Yeah. So, I mean, we're at what?

NADPOD sold out already for the HG Live. So by the time like people realize that this is the only way to be in the same room as Murph, even if it's not while they're doing their NADPOD thing. Right. Even if just like while the shows are like, yeah, shifting over or something. That's going to be at the same building. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're going to want to get those tickets fast. What are you doing? You're fucking. Just getting a hat. Why? Because I was going to like. You have, you're wearing headphones. I know.

You can't put that hat. You fucking interrupted yourself. Put it over the headphones. Knocked your mic around, grabbed a hat and put it on over your head. I'm wearing a hat. It's a nice hat to have. It's fun to have a hat. Oh.

It can't be comfortable. It's fine. You wouldn't even notice if I came on here and I was just wearing a hat like this, right? It looks like a normal hat. I probably would have said something. It doesn't at all. It looks like, it looks like. It's over the head.

It's a toddler's fit. Yeah. It's sitting really hot. It looks like a hat that you just have ice cream in it that you are now wearing. Which actually brings us back to the whole ice cream thing. Where did you guys go and why was an uncle Amir invited to that? The little trollop down the. It doesn't bring us back there.

It brings, you bring, you drag us back there because you won't let it go. Do they have vanilla? It's not like a natural segue. Was it like Jenny's? Yes. They had vanilla. It wasn't Jenny's. It's something more artisanal.

Ew. Let's fucking do another question. Is people going to be mad at me that I came on and we didn't get to questions? Fine. I've never seen him smile genuinely. He smiles in this way that's both nervous and like. Fake. Unsure.

You're phased. You're always phased. You make people uncomfortable. We need a lady's name. Luck. Luck be a lady tonight. Maybe luck right. Very good.

Long time, no time. I've probably recently moved home to Dallas to be closer to my family and stumbled into the interview process for an amazing wildlife conservation job that I think I would love. The only problem is I'd have to move alone to a tiny Republican town in the middle of Texas an hour from my current spot. I'm a 23 year old female for context. Do you think moving away from your friends and family and the big city life that I love is worth it for a job that I think I'll truly love that I cannot get elsewhere?

Or do I choose a happy work life? Should I choose a happy work life or a happy social life? It feels like no matter what I choose, I'm sacrificing something. What should I do? Thanks. Love. Luck. Look.

That's tough. It's a tough one. How far out of Dallas should she say? Like an hour outside of Dallas. Do it. Do it? I live an hour away from some of my friends in LA and I don't see them very often but I kill them.

You what? What was that? You could. I could. I don't usually make fun of people for misspeaking because it's, you know, it's not easy. Yes, you do. But like that was insane. It was good and can.

I know. The way you can do it. Cool. I don't often make fun. I do not. I do not. I do not. Would you really try not to try it anybody?

I guess it's like you got your dream job, Jake, but it's in New Jersey. Jeff, you get your dream job but it's in fucking San Diego. No, smaller city than that. Pomona. Chatsworth. Riverside. Irvine. Would you guys take it?

Yeah. 100%. Really? But that's also, I also think cause she's 23. Like you only probably have to work this job for a year or two and then can probably move to a similar job in an urban area or like transfer or something. Like do it. Also, does it pay well cause cash is kind of king.

What's that? Yeah, but now we're outside of Dallas. Maybe, Dallas is expensive. Yeah. Maybe in rural, rural Texas it's, if money goes along her way. I think you've been doing what you've been doing for a decent amount of time. So this is, it's always fun to change it up. Yeah.

I know I would do it. You would live by yourself in a small city. Upstate, like suffer or something for a year. What did you just take, Jeffrey? What was that? He just popped a liquid and now he's sweating. He's fucking microdosing on the podcast. This is insane.

Wow. What was that? Was that acids? Was it acid? CBD. It's CBD cause you make me anxious. Okay. Okay.

I don't know yet to be medicated, to be around Uncle Amir, but that kind of hurts to see it here. I'm sorry that I make you feel that way, I guess. Damn. So you subscribe for me or like is that usually you have like a general anxiety about being around other people and shit? Just you. I don't have social anxiety.

It's your anxiety. It's a fear of Uncle Amir. A fear of Blumenfeld. That's good. Oh, fear. My cousin, oh, fear. Oh, that's good stuff. That's funny.

It sucks to hear, but that's really funny. It's funny. Yeah. I don't think I would live in a city by myself. I think that would be too kind of sad. No one said it was shitty. They said it was a tiny Republican town. Sounds shitty.

Sacrifice for social life. Well, I think that living an hour outside of a place is not sacrificing your social life. I think any more than an hour. You dedicate it to work Monday through Friday. On the weekends, you can go into Dallas, crash with a friend. Exactly. You spend a day there.

Every city outside of Dallas is Fort Worthless. You chose this question so you could say that. She's actually outside of... Yeah. She's in Dover, Delaware. When you tilted your laptop screen down to show us your Twinkie Dick, there was a note that said the exact words you just said. Fort Worthless, yeah.

Yeah. Sorry about that. I shouldn't have derailed the show. And I am sorry about making you... Elite ease, please. Let's take a break for a day. And come back tomorrow for them to be right after these messages. Let's go to fucking couple therapy and come back.

We'll be right back after these words. No fucking way. Thank you to Stamps.com for sponsoring this episode of our show. Visiting the post office and dealing with shipping and handling is probably one of the most stressful parts of owning a business. But with Stamps.com, all you need is a computer and a printer and they can bring the post office in your office. So, if you need a package pickup, you can easily schedule it.

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And that gets you a free four-week trial, free postage and a digital scale. That sounds pretty good. Thank you, Stamps.com, for sponsoring this show. And we're back. I think I'm a better person now. Yeah. I don't know. I talked to you.

I got a lot of shit off my chest is all. And I don't think you're going to have to need to take that blue... That's not how therapy is supposed to work, by the way. Yeah. You vented for two and a half hours in the parking lot of a couple's therapy. And it helped. I don't want to know your relationship woes. It helped to have you guys there and I appreciate it.

It helped. Jeff, let's hear your Lasik story. Is it a basic story? And we're back. All of that progress gone. Another swig of THC. I think it was similar to your guys'. They did the thing where they put the ring around the eye, suck it, and then slice it.

Yeah. Dice it. They sliced it? No lasers? Well, they used a laser to slice it. Oh, okay. Yeah. They have blades and that's fucking scary.

Yeah. And this is when I can't see it because I haven't had the laser part, but I can see a foreign object coming down. I know it's a scalpel or some bullshit. And then they move me over to the laser and they say, the green light's your friend. And at that point, I'm just worried about me fucking it up because it's all machine automated and foolproof. No human error is possible at this point.

Other than me blinking or moving my eye where lasers the white of my eye. Exactly didn't. And they said that they were like, it was incredible because the Xanax hadn't kicked in yet because they gave it to me late. And they were like, it was. They did the same thing with me. Yeah. It's like, yeah, we're going to give you a Xanax so you're not nervous.

I'm like, okay, great. They gave it to me and they're like, come this way. I'm like, it's not. It's not. Yeah. It's going to take an hour and it hit me when I was in the car and it was the worst. But anyway. Who picked you up, Finn and Billy?

No, my buddy AJ picked me up. AJ from New York. He was with me. Yeah. I love AJ. Good guy. And yeah, it was just, you know, it was normal. I looked at the green light, 18 seconds.

I liked it that they did this too. They were like, engaging laser, 1%, 40%, 60%, 90% done. Wow. Critical failure. Critical failure. Interesting red siren lights. Everybody else leaves the room. What?

They just fucking lock it and you see everyone peering back through the glass. Horrified. A gas fills the room. What is this? I did feel like I was in a sci-fi novel or something, but yeah, it was great. It was short, painless. And then now my eyes are like still have some broken blood vessels that are healing. So I still look crazy and I have to preface any time I'm in public, I'll be like getting

coffee. And I'm like, I just got lasik by the way. I'm not like dying or high. And people are like, oh, I didn't notice until you said it. And then I just make an asset of myself at sunset junction. Yeah. Bringing back the pirate. Anyway, can I have a cold brew?

I'm not high or dying. But truly one of the best decisions of my life. And now we've all got it. Yeah. You can see perfectly. Yeah. And I'm not having to wear the eye shield anymore. And then I'm almost done with my medicated drops.

I end those on this upcoming Tuesday, the day after this airs. So now I'm just doing the artificial tears. So like everything's kind of calming down. Yeah. Wow. Pretty fun. And what about your lipoflow? Lipoflow will continue after this short break.

Marty. No. We're not taking a break. I saw. You can tell if you if you watch it. You can see his eyes. Stay engaged. And we're back.

The fucking lipoflow thing comes in. I have to do it. I think twice a year from now on going forward. Wow. That's pretty good. Not bad. Yeah. So what's the small price to pay?

What's the next thing you have to figure out? Like your eyes are good. So like, uh-oh. You're still not. Jake and I had this conversation in earnest at the climbing gym in New York was like things that on a yearly basis you want to fix about your body. Yeah. There's always something.

Yeah. Now that your eyes are fine. It's kind of like, uh-oh. Am I going to have to take a deeper dive into something that's less fixable? Not all problems can be solved with a laser. One tooth. One tooth, not in a line. I might do it in Vizzaline, but mainly I just want to lose.

I want to get shredded again. Really? Shredded in like 2018. Lost that progress to have. I thought you said you lost 20 pounds in quarantine too. I lost 40 pounds. That's crazy. Wow.

40 pounds in quarantine. Yeah. And 4 and T. Nice. 4 and T, that's good. You went the other way. You said no. I'm shedding it.

Yeah. Well, I was shedding that because I didn't want to be shedding virus. And then I just did both. What you ended up doing? Yes. So, but yeah, I want to lose another like 10, 20 pounds. Easy. Jesus.

All at the gym. All at the gym. God. You got to do it at the gym. They say that it's 90% diet, but I actually think if you want to sustain weight loss, you should eat somewhat normally and just work out really hard. I also, because I lost a ton of weight before my wedding. I remember that.

You were thin. Yeah. And I didn't feel good. Yeah. I was, I want, I like going to the gym because you let, it's good to like feel sturdy. Yeah. I basically fit into my talks really well, but I felt fucking when I was, when I was in the chair getting the horror, I was like, I'll shatter it.

What were you doing then? Just no carbs. Yeah. I had an insane diet. No carbs. No sugar. No grains. Grains are good for you.

Yeah. But I didn't have, I didn't even have rice. Like, were you happy though? Yeah. I was happy. I was bored when I ate. I wasn't anything fun about food, but something in the way you rice, you fucking like interrupted attracts me like no other Pharaoh.

Why? Why? Something in the way. No. That doesn't even rhyme. What did it mean? It's about grains. It's about ancient grains.

It was worth it. Yeah. It was worth it in the end. It came home. I think I will do some kind of crazy diet before my wedding though. I want to look great. Whoa. Yeah.

It's cool. I guess you have to first be with somebody, right? What's that? You're kind of, I mean you're single, so don't worry about the diet you'll have to take before you get married. You would also have to worry about like, it's not even like don't worry about like finding a partner or something, it's like you have to worry about getting a better personality before you can even think about, yeah.

No, I made a deposit. I put a deposit down. You're not. You should be looking at Venues. Well, no, I just, seeing you go through it, I was like, shit, like if you want to get a good place, you got to put the deposit in early because this thing is competitive, Amir. You're a nasty man.

So it wasn't like, you're not going to attract anybody because you're not attractive. Yeah. Inside or out. Your Lasik actually went wrong. I can see that they shitted your eyelids. No, I've been crying blood, but that's fine. Oh, yeah. By the way, I attract people with my fucking money.

What's that? This is a Rolex. You just said you had to sell your RAV4. You said you sell the RAV4. I had credit card debt, sure, but that's why do you think I get the debt by getting things that make me look rich? It's a gift card. Fucker.

Sorry. I didn't mean to get angry so fast. It's just like when you challenge me like that, it's just. This is after you chug CBD. This is him relaxed. My therapist tells me I'm right and that's what you pay them for. No, I don't think so. We actually have one similar question right at the end here.

Is it wrong to date a friend's ex? That's basically it. This is a guy from California. We'll call him fucking Zach Morris. There's a cute girl who's in a few of my classes that I have a crush on, but the dilemma is a friend with whom I've started to be a little bit closer with got dumped by this girl last year. So is it wrong to date your friend's ex?

What would you do in my situation? I think basically yes. I think there's a lot of like extenuating circumstances like were they together together? Did they just like casually date? Are they on good terms now? What is going on with Jeff's Zoom? He left. No, I'm here.

I put a piece of tape because I realized that the NSA could be watching in any minute. What are you talking about? You put a piece of tape. Who cares? What do they want to see us for? Especially you. And also like you were on this Zoom for almost an hour before you put the tape on. I know, so I sort of panicked.

Now you're having sort of paranoid delusions. What would be in that CBV? This is like an anti-ad for feels. It's showing how little it works. I think it depends on the context. How long did they date? It's more than like two, more than six months. That's probably off limits.

It also depends how that person feels about that. Oh my God. What happened there? Everything got so greasy. You're an oiled man. This is horrible. It doesn't matter. I kind of casually saw somebody last year, early pandemic, and now I think a friend of

mine has a crush on that person potentially, and vice versa. And I'm like go for it, because I wasn't in love with them. We just kind of casually saw each other. So I think that's fine. But if somebody tried to date my ex-girlfriend, that would kind of be... Oh shit, Amir, weren't you kind of... I'm seeing her. I'm not dating her or anything like that.

Seeing? I'm like, we're hanging out. She hated you, by the way. Okay, okay. She said you're sort of... I guess she likes the bad boys. No, no, no. She wants a taste of the forbidding Amir.

I guess I'm a forbidden root. O-P-H-R-U-I-T. Yeah, I think you got to ask the friend. If the friend doesn't care, then you shouldn't care. But if he's just being polite, then you have to read into that. It's just tenuous, though, because it's like a new friend. I feel like you basically are going to end up having to make a decision. You'll either not become a good friend with this person, or you'll date their ex.

Have you guys ever dated a friend's ex? Yeah. Of course you have. And vice versa, and for sure. We had an incestuous friend group, to be sure. That's pretty hot, though. Amir, riddle me this. How many people have you fucked?

Now keep in mind, penetration isn't the only form of sex. We're at a time, and it wasn't. Did I say that in a Jake and Amir at one point? I say, have you ever fucked Bloominfeld? Yeah, that's from Swingers. Swingers. Have you ever touched a Jake and Amir episode? That's a Jake and Amir episode?

Yeah. Yeah. I haven't seen that one. Have you seen Swingers, though? I also haven't seen Swingers. I've seen the diner Swingers in West Hollywood. So you would love it. If you liked that diner, I think you would really like the film.

I don't like that diner. I think you'd feel like the film. I don't know if you can get the movie if you haven't had those eggs. And do you have the eggs to have the eggs and see the Swingers after Swingers? Listen. Yeah. Yeah. You said, listen.

No, just listen. Going forward. Listen. Try to listen. Try to listen. Yeah. Me or you're saying to this guy in general. Ferris, cut that out.

That's me. I edit these. Amir, cut that out. Okay. This is fucked up. And cut it out. And cut you. Yeah.

What was the question? Fucking a friend's ex? Do it. Yeah. Yeah. No. You're... We said, we said ask your friend if he's comfortable with it.

If everybody's comfortable with it, I think it's fine. It's a love triangle, but all three people have to sign off and get off. It is more fun being on the show when you're single because the other times that I was on it, I think for the most part I was in a relationship and I'm not. So I feel like I can give more qualified advice for young people in the day to day shows. Let me fucking finish. Let me finish.

To have. All right. That was all I was gonna say. Yeah. I barely ever cut you off. He shouldn't have let me finish. Yeah. More qualified advice was a perfect, you're chugging fucking CBB.

This is crazy. You ended the sentence, Amir talked, which wasn't an interruption. And then Chasing it with a cold brew. And then you made it a run on. Learn how to live in the middle. You're constantly riding uppers, downers. Just chill a little bit. Bottom 25%, top 25%.

I like to live in the margins, the bookends. What do you mean by that? 50% total. That's a lot. That's not the margins. That's half of people. I'm saying like, when people say that you invest. Top 50 and bottom 50.

Yeah. People say when you're investing, you want to be in the middle 50. You don't want to be people that are like getting in too early because then you might bet on something that's a dud. You don't want to get, sell too late because what if it crashes? Be in the, like buy at 25, sell at 75. I like to buy at five and sell at 95. Sure, we'd all like.

I had a dream that you sneezed so hard it launched me to the top of a building and that's not a joke. That was last night. What are you mad at me? Sorry. Keegan-Michael Key was at a club. Okay. This is you telling a different story.

Terrible advertisement for the headcam podcast. All right, Jeff, one last time. Where can people hear your shit? Where can people watch us live? Yeah, you can listen to the headcam podcast. Jake or Amir are on usually most episodes, trying to think of a good intro episode. Do you guys have an idea of which one might be a good one to start? They're all equally insane to me.

So. Yeah. They're all good. I think the second annual state of the gum is a good way to start. Oh yeah. That's good. That's the first in-person episode. I think actually the only real full in-person episode.

But it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of absurd bullshit game segments, quizzes, and this guest, me guesting on this episode is an indication of how the other one goes. So if you didn't like this, don't listen to the show. Honestly, if you're at minute 58 and you didn't like it, I don't know what the hell you're doing with your life. Take a quiet lunch. Take a quiet lunch.

And then headgum.com slash live for our live show, October 22, New York City Gramercy Theater. It's going to be awesome. You guys will probably be on it. I'm pretty sure. And a lot of people at headgum and maybe you're a surprise guest. Whoa. Love that.

And you can follow me on Instagram at JefferyJames on Twitter at Jeffboyard. I like it. I've been kind of tweeting fire. Oh, also on my Twitter, there's a petition going around to expatriate Amir to Chadron, sorry, Chadron, Nebraska, which is the exact midpoint between New York and LA. So let's get his ass out of LA. I thought it was Lebanon, Kansas was the midpoint. I think there's multiple midpoints, depending on how you measure, but Chadron's one of

them. And it had a nice ring to it. I'm not. Yeah, definitely better than Lebanon. Yeah. I'm not doing that, by the way. Well, yeah, because we haven't gotten the signatures yet. If it gets 5,000 signatures, I think we should do it.

5,000. It was first 100, then it was 500. How many do you have now? You said you would move to the middle of nowhere for your dream job. You said that. My dream job, not because fucking 5,000 people didn't want me to be in LA anymore. That's not a dream job. That's a nightmare life.

Yeah, it's a lot of people. It's so... That's not fair to Chadron. What? That's not fair to Chadron to call it a nightmare life. I don't know anyone there. And that's the kind of shit that got you kicked out of LA. I don't have a community there, basically.

You don't have a community here. You've lost them. That's the entire point of the petition. Thousands of people want you to leave. You think you have a community in LA? No. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so either. It sucks. So we agree. Yes, exactly. Everything basically sucks, sucks to be me, and now I have to fucking be in Nebraska about it. How do I do that? Like, give me my family, please.

What? Your family is allowed to go, but I don't think they will. They don't want me to. By the way, your mom signed the petition I saw. How does she barely know how to use her computer? She would have had to ask somebody to fucking set that up. She asked me. She did.

She did. I set her up with an account. She donated, by the way. She donated to promote it. How much? Change. There's $3, but that's still money that she put towards it. And she wrote a note with her donation.

I told her that there wasn't really a way for me to do that. But she wrote me something, and I don't feel like I should read it because it's... Read it. Pretty fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. Read it. I don't...

I want to know. I want to know what it is, basically. I want to hear it, and I want to like... I want to see if I can handle it, and I think this is the best way to do it. My son, Uncle Amir, has a little chicken twinkie dick and no niblings to speak of. Wrong. Yeah. You're Ben, by the way.

Your brother signed it. He said, this is the first petition I've signed in half a decade, finally an important cause to rally behind after radio silence on Amir's career news front. Three failed pilots, one failed man. Get his ass to Chadron. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

I might at most do a winter there to reevaluate shit, but I'm not fucking moving to Chadron. You can believe that. I'm not paying fucking state income tax in Nebraska unless I get a job there, which I'm kind of looking into, but I don't know if anybody kind of wants me. There's a Papa John's in Chadron, I saw that. And by the way, I actually applied to work there, not even joking, and they rejected my application because I don't have any prior like relevant experience. Yeah.

They didn't. There's a little Caesars in nearby Hay Springs, and I feel like you could commute to work but live in Chadron. You want me to go to the middle of nowhere and then fucking move another hour away just to go to work. No, you would move to Chadron. It's not an hour away. It's 20 minutes by car.

It's 20 minutes by car to get to Hay Springs. Fine, but I'm taking my car then. They have a, fine. You can take your car. You can't take the Mazda. I'm so sorry. Yeah. You have to buy a Chevy.

You can take a Mazda. You can take a car. We didn't say you can take your car. Caesars is hot and ready, and in Chadron, you're going to be not in a Chevy. Yeah. Your lease terms doesn't allow you to live outside of the state. Like you can't do that and still lease your Mazda. You also can't work in Nebraska and live elsewhere because then you're going to have to play income

tax in Nebraska and real estate tax in, I don't know, Kansas. What's the neighboring state? There's, I mean, there's a couple, man, it's Nebraska. I think I won't be able to save face if I do all the stuff you're talking about. The job, the car, to have a Chevy, a Chevrolet, what is it, like a Cruiser or a Vulture? Probably the Chevy. You're going to Impala. It can't be a Bolt and it can't be a Bolt.

And Impala? It'll be an Impala and it'll be modded so that when you drive down the street, the exhaust is absolutely boisterous and people say, look at that asshole. Fine. Also, by the way, this is all, you're saying if you do all this, this is the bare minimum. This is all we're asking and I don't think it's a lot. It's a lot. It's life changing in a bad way.

But thank you for starting. I guess a lot of people got behind that cause. Yeah. It rallied. It was actually really fucking cool to see. It was something that I think, because something I was worried about last summer was just like we have to keep this momentum, this activist momentum going forward for other causes as well that need the help.

I'm going to go to Nebraska. Just let me stop talking and Namaste and leave to go there basically. No, not Namaste. The light within me does not recognize the light within you. Absolutely it doesn't because the light has died. I feel like I'm trying to get like one last little positive momentum going into it. 100% you're not. I'm like smiling but it's just because it's truly beyond belief that it's gone this way.

Yeah. And I don't need this episode. Maybe, yeah. Why don't we say it like a sign off? I think that might give you what you're looking for. Like a nice fan, like, alright, Adios, I'm going to Chadron and then we'll like kind of, I think Jeff and I will smile and then you'll kind of go out on a W. Okay.

If you say, my name is Amir Blumenfeld and I'm moving to Chadron, I think everyone listening to this will smile. Yeah. I do want them to smile. I wish it wasn't that. Great, then say it. Yeah. I'm, I should say that we're making, still making new content on our Patreon, patreon.com

slash J-A and the opening theme song was by Gareth. Let's play it again since it took us fucking eight years to get through it. So the closing one is also by Gareth. Shout out. The email address for questions and theme songs is if I reuse show at gmail.com, trust me, it won't take me eight years to get to it this time. I'm moving to Chadron, or to Chadron, Nebraska. Everybody, everybody, let's get it to it, get stoned, get stoned, get a Chadron, get

a Chadron, let's get a Chadron and let's get a Chadron in here, let's get a Chadron in here. Yay. Good stuff. Later, everybody. J.J. Got a beer. If I were you, I'd listen up for that, I am quite clear, so here's a sauce of podcast

presented by these Jews, reminding us to seize the cheese to the fountain, yo, do you? You gotta earn this, booty. Was a hit gum original.