If I Were You - 52: Segmenia

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

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Seconds! It's the Swiss Army Knife of Shoes. Now let's meet your two emphatic hosts. Seconds! I kind of knocked my head on the TV behind me during this time. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this again. I kind of knocked my head on the TV behind me during the sway. That's okay. I'm concussed. I don't think they'll see it. I blacked out.

I don't think they'll see it. I'm seeing stars. This is a very special episode. We got to get right into it. This is your dream episode. It's the idea you always wanted. For our one year anniversary, we're going gonna be doing new segments every 90 seconds. Yes, this was the plan for the show.

Originally, it was a high flying podcast. High octane. High octane. Every single, it kind of like Tottenham's football actually, which will be a segment, but every episode we'd add a new segment. So by the end of the year, we had 50 to one minute long segments.

So we came up with about 50 ish segments. We're gonna see how many we can actually get through. Have we started yet? No. This is the pre-segment edition. This is the pre-segment. Okay, let's say this is segments, a podcast with a lot of segments.

Exactly. Get that out of the way. Okay, so let's kick it off with our very first segment and here we go. We are looking at facts of the day. This is the segment where we discuss interesting little facts and factoids that we have found. So here's a quick fact for you.

Did you know the King of Hearts is the only King without a mustache? Did you know that? No, I didn't know. I wonder why that is. There is not really time to get into that. Yeah, I mean, we probably have a minute left. Like, why do you think the King of Hearts

doesn't have a mustache? Well, I have other a minute left. Like, why do you think the King of France doesn't have a mustache? Well, I have other facts to share. Okay, all right. The national animal of Scotland is the unicorn. Oh, interesting. An animal that doesn't exist. Yeah, pretty magical. I wonder why that is.

Not really any time to discuss who gets national animals and does America have one. I guess we have the eagle, but other nations have one. Not really enough time to get into it. Did you know that a fresh cranberry can be bounced like a rubber ball? Interesting. Well, I've shown you my like bouncing orange trick, right?

When I stand behind a counter and I fake bounce an orange. Yes, yes, but we really don't have any time to get into it. Yeah, so this is like the fear that like, we would sort of like minimize conversation almost. No, actually 90 seconds is plenty of time. It's plenty of time. We have 12 seconds left. We can talk about the bouncing orange trick.

We have 12 seconds left. It's a great party trick. I fake bounce an orange, we'll show a video if we can get one of me bouncing an orange and it looks like I'm bouncing the fruit but it's actually just a sleight of hand. That's time. That's absolutely time. And it's time to play Smash or Pass

with this random list of celebrities that I've just generated. Ben Stiller, Smash or Pass. Like would I have sex with him? Yeah. Or I guess maybe like- I don't know if I would have sex with him? Yeah. Or I guess maybe like- I don't know if I would have sex with him. Do you think he's fuckable?

I think he's real, I think he's attractive, yeah. He's strong and he's got good hair. Yeah. And he's quite good looking for a man in his 50s, 60s. How old is he at this point? Probably 60. That's not what this segment is about. We're not guessing his age. He's aging well.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. And me, I'm not gonna step out on my wife. Like I guess you're really eager to cheat on Avi Tal with Ben Stiller, but I'm not really. Oliver's playing the game. I don't wanna hurt Jillian like that. And more than that, I don't even have that desire to be with anybody outside of my marriage. I'm happily married and I am in a monogamous relationship.

But you, I guess, wanna fuck random people like Ben Stiller. Victoria Beckham, Smasher Pass. For me, that's an absolute smash. Okay, so like it seemed like that, the whole Jillian thing is not necessarily. I have a Hall Pass. I obviously have a hall smash.

A hall spice, and it's any of the girls. You know, all spice? Yeah, I have a hall spice. That's great. I can basically smash four paths. That's time. Do you have a segment you'd like to do? You have a minute and a half.

Let's try verdle. Okay, all right, fine. All right, you wanna think of a word? Verbal, wordle, yes, I'll think of a word. It's kind of, okay, got it. Brave. Gray. Oh my God. Gray.

This is the easy part, yeah. I know. Gray, yellow, yellow. Oh. Gray, yellow. Wow. So R, A, and E are all in it. Early.

Yellow. Green. Yellow. Gray gray. Raven. Yellow. Green. Gray.

Green. Oh. Gray. gray, green, gray. Moral, sorry, M-A-R-E-L, Meryl. I thought you had the R in a green position. Oh, I did? I thought I had the A. You have the A. All right, so that's a gray, green, gray, yellow.

That's time. It was water. It was water. This is water. It's awesome. This is water. Okay, this is a new segment we're calling, Jake Explains Anything.

Jake explains it all. So you get to ask me any question you want and I'll give you the explanation. So you know how there's aluminum foil? Yeah. And there's also tin foil. Right. Are those two different kinds of metals

or is like aluminum and tin the same thing? Or do we just use them interchangeably? Yeah, so it's similar to, you know, like a Kleenex or a tissue. So- Oh, aluminum is the brand name for tin? No, I think, well, so I think tin foil is kind of just like, that's the ubiquitous one,

and then aluminum foil is, that's like a trademark or something, but it's all the same. They're both metal names. Yeah. It's not. Yeah, but I mean, well, is a Kleenex not a tissue? They're both metal names. What's that? Yeah, but I mean, is a Kleenex not a tissue? They're both paper.

A Kleenex is the brand name for tissue. Right, which is what I'm saying. So Kleenex is a company. But there's no company named aluminum. There's no company named tin? And there's no company named tin, no. They're different compounds. So tin, aluminum is a pure compound,

and tin is aluminum mixed in with tin. That's why they call it tin. Because it's mixed in. Mixed in. Sure for mixed in. Yeah, it's mixed tin. So there's aluminum and then there's mixed tin. So when you buy like Reynolds wrap

or something from a supermarket, just to like, you know, for- That's time. Sealing bull. That's absolutely time. Unpopular opinion. I actually have an unpopular opinion. I actually have an unpopular opinion that I've only landed on recently. Do you want to hear it?

Okay, sure. I just like fall. Fall, autumn. Yeah, I don't like the season. And it's one of the most popular ones. It's a lot of people's favorites. Yeah, people love fall because it's like no longer really hot And it's one of the most popular ones. It's a lot of people's favorites. Yeah, people love fall because it's like no longer really hot

and it's not yet really cold. And there's like sports plus sweaters in the air. It's cozy, they're nice colors. Yeah. Would you say it's your least favorite season? It might be. It might be. I think it's because-

Behind winter. Well, cause I don't really, I don't like the anticipation of winter. When we're in winter, I don't like it, but I'm starting to be like, wow, well, it's already, it's already January and then February is a short month. That's going to fly by and then March, that's the kickoff of spring.

So we're almost out. Like I can anticipate summer with or spring and summer, which are my favorite seasons, but fall, I'm just, I'm kind of watching. It's the beginning of the school year. Yeah, I'm watching everything die. We're going back to school and it's slowly getting colder. Like I'm watching all of my like cold and discomfort come in.

Yeah, and especially with, that's when the clocks change and that's when it's like gets dark at 515, nah. Gets dark at 415, then 410, then 408. I don't like the transition. And you're like, oh, it's happening. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was the same way. Winter is my least favorite, obviously,

cause I don't like the cold and uncomfortable. And I do wanna talk about that. And I do wanna talk about that, but that is time. And we're moving on to the next segment. So you don't wanna talk. And I do want to talk about that. And I do want to talk about that, but that is time. And we're moving on to the next segment. So you don't want to talk about it. I did want to talk about that, but we don't have time. There's no way I don't want to talk about it. We absolutely, do you want to, do you have a segment?

You have one minute and 20 seconds. Okay, let me share this photo with you and you tell me where in the world we are, okay? Okay. Where in the world we are when this photo was taken. We're almost out of time. All right. Okay, let me just share it.

Yeah. Share my screen. Please do. Okay. Because we're about to have to move on. Okay. Oh, wow. Okay.

Oh, it looks, is that when we were in, so it's me, you and Marty. Will you want to describe what it is? in, so it's me, you and Marty. Well, you wanna describe what it is? All right, me, you and Marty, we all have really crisp haircuts, the high and tight, shaved on the side, long on top. We all have interesting facial hair. Crisp short sleeve shirts, large pattern.

We're all wearing the pattern, short sleeve button down. It's a little, it's pre all of the buttons buttoned. So I'm gonna guess this is like 2014. All the buttons was more 2015. And I see SBE, so that's a, is that Sobe? Sobe? There's, yeah, we're at the Sobe event for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition in Las Vegas.

We are in Las Vegas, that is correct. I don't remember that swimsuit event that you can see it's in Hyde Bellagio. Yeah, that's time. That is absolutely time. I thought we could talk about like going. It's time for Jake and Amir talk Tottenham. Okay. So as everybody knows Tottenham. Yeah. Okay.

So as everybody knows Tottenham. Talk about the. Tottenham is my favorite football team. They're your favorite football team. And we actually, we have a Tottenham Hotspur podcast over on our Patreon. So why don't we preview what that's about just a little bit. Coys boys, yeah.

Well, the Spurs played really well last game. They dropped the hammer on the hammers, down 0-1, came back, stole victory 4-1, running away with it, including an own goal from their goalie named Ariola. Alphonse Ariola, that is correct. Yes. Imagine being named after the nipple part of your body. That's kind of funny.

Yeah, that's very good. But let's talk about their match this coming Thursday against AZ Alkmaar. Isn't that happening right now? It's going to be happening in 20 minutes, which is why we have to really wrap this segment up and move on. Yeah. Well, this is like a non-Premier League match.

Like there's a Premier League match and then there's like random other tournaments that are happening during the Premier League season. This is the Europa League conference. That's right. They're playing a Dutch side, AZ, Alkmaar. Looks like it should be a pretty interesting match for our young ones.

I think they're starting Lancashire, it might've even looked like. Why? Because they don't care about this game as much? Yeah, because they're starting Lancashire, it might've even looked like. Why? Because they don't care about this game as much? Yeah, because they're in the group stage and we have to move on. We have to move on. Do you have a segment? It's like speed dating or something.

I can't really get a word in edgewise. Let's try Vertal, but I'll figure the word, you guess. Okay. All right, got it. Space. Gray, gray, green, gray, gray. God. Okay.

Plank. Gray, gray, green, gray, gray. Wow, so still just have that A and that's it. Yeah, the tent pole A. Okay. In the, right in the middle. Flout. So that's not an A.

Huh? F-L-O-U-T. Okay. Fla, flay, well it wouldn't be flank, would it be? Fla, a flot. That's, we're running out of time. We're running out of time. It was gravy. Yeah.

That's absolutely gravy. It's of time. We're running out of time. It was gravy. Yeah, that's absolutely gravy. Kind of hard with the V and the Y. Yeah, for sure. Right in the middle there. For sure. Meditation. Let's meditate and ruminate.

We're gonna have you guide us through kind of like a breath work, breathing, calm the nervous system. I will? Yeah. Okay. I guess close your eyes. Deep breath into your nose and then slowly out of your mouth.

Yeah. Imagine your body really grounded on something really sturdy and soft, a hill, a sand dune. You're either laying or sitting or even standing there. Try to be a little more decisive. Deep breath. Try to be more decisive. Not really anything sturdy about a sand dune.

Yeah. They're getting like washed away into the ocean. How can it be grounded on something like that, Pokemon? All right, yeah, deep breath through your mouth. Nose again, nose, yeah. Just let the air coat all of your sinus passages. You feel it up in your eyes and then out through your mouth. You have to tell me to exhale because otherwise I'm just holding in.

I am, I'm telling you, out through your mouth, yeah. I wonder how many more times you'll see your parents that's where they pass Why on earth would that be? Like something to win flowing around and through you we're an airplane You are skydiving out of time God. Where's the pair? We're out of time goddamn Question of the day. All right, then we gotta take a break.

So this is the last segment of this triad. So this is a segment where we kind of ask a question that I think would be helpful for people to kind of ruminate and reflect on. The question I thought of for the day was, what's your main thing? If somebody said that's Amir's main thing, what do you think it would be?

Yeah, probably sports, basketball. Like I'm really into knowing a lot about the sports world and specifically basketball and hyper-focused. I know more about that than anything else in the world, whether it's like trivia about the past or like current situation about what's happening. I can sort of talk to anybody. That's like my icebreaker at a party.

Oh, where are you from? Cleveland, are you a Cavs fan? Oh, do you like the Browns? Blah, blah, blah. And then we get into it from there. If you don't like sports, I have nothing in common with you. You're a movie, you're a music person. That's just not for me.

And I don't even wanna get to know you. There's nothing for me there. You're an empty mine. Yeah, I'm in a record store, but I don't get what any of these things mean. And does it make you happy? Yes, it makes me very happy. When my team wins, I feel joy.

When they lose, I feel down. And so I put a lot of stock, emotional and physical, into going to see these things. I mean, I was just in Austin last weekend, sports tourism as a thing. Going to see matches, going to see games, researching, following the athletes on social media, knowing, getting to learn them more, becoming interested in the strategy, the X's and O's of the game. I feel like I could, you know, potentially coach or- And we're out of time.

We're out of time. We're absolutely out of time. Let's take a break. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our program. Hell yeah. Love you Squarespace. One of our day ones, Jake, you've built websites using Squarespace. Many a website actually. So you get how easy it is. You don't have to actually know how to design or code.

Squarespace makes it simple. Exactly. You can build a portfolio and even an online store, sell stuff online using Squarespace. You can even purchase a domain name through Squarespace. This is true. This is very true. Jake, what's available right now? Have you ever heard of like find my phone? Yeah, I've been using it recently. Like if I can't find my phone, I'll go to like that find my phone app and I can like use it to help find my phone. Right, so you could go to findmyphone.com. It's find my phone.

What does that do? Like how can I find my phone? Does it beep or something? How can you possibly have a GPS? Well, it's phone spelled wrong. So it's kind of anybody who's looking for their phone might actually stumble upon your website. Interesting.

And all of a sudden it's kind of viral. Really? Mine's actually pretty viral. Really? Yeah. Mine's actually pretty similar. Oh yeah? It's like, it helps, it helps you find your little horse, your like young or young horse. Yeah. So it's findmylittlehorse.com?

No, it's called findmyful.com. F-O-A-L. Find my full. Yeah, find my full. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. So if you're looking for a full or a foam or maybe your name.com. Also an option. The best way to build that website to buy that domain is to go to squarespace.com slash

segments. Segments. That way you could try that free trial. And when you're ready to launch your website, you can save 10% off. They're already low low low prices. That's squarespace.com slash segments to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code segments. Segments. Thank you, Squarespace. Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode of our show. That is correct. Ah, if only life came with an instruction manual. How do I manage this anxiety, stress, depression?

So many difficult relationships. Yes, but now there is a way. Yeah, it's with therapy. Therapy is very, very helpful to get those things off your chest. And the best way to do that therapy is by giving BetterHelp a try. Exactly.

BetterHelp is completely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible and suitable to your schedule. And yes, more affordable than traditional therapy. Oh yeah. I've tried therapy and I have found it very helpful. And to give BetterHelp a try, you just fill out a brief questionnaire,

you get matched with a licensed therapist, and then you can switch therapists at any time with no additional charge. Hell yeah. That's the hardest part about finding a therapist is like the driving, the testing out, trying one versus the other and BetterHelp sort of streamlines that entirely.

They sure do. So overcome your fears with BetterHelp. You just got to visit betterhelp.com slash segments today to get 10% off your first month. There you have it. So therapy, which is already very helpful, had just became a lot more convenient, flexible and affordable. If you just go to better help, h e l p dot com slash segments. Precisely. The prices are low and you'll get 10% off your first

month by going to better help.com slash segments. Segments. Thanks better help. Thank you. help. Thank you. And we are back with a quick fitness tip. What are you doing to stay fit? Me? I just signed up for a Pilates class. Oh, interesting. I've never done Pilates. I just did my first class yesterday and it was very, very hard. It's a lot of body movement, like no weights, but like kind of yoga, like planks and stretches. Yeah, and I was in the reformer. I'm in the machine. So it's kind of like, it's very low resistance.

You're like lying down, then there's like springs attached to this board that's sliding everywhere. There's like a foot bar, there's straps that you're pulling over and then you're like pulsing. You're engaging your deep core and what they call your T-zone,

your pelvic floor as it were, which I am hyper-focused on these days. I'm very- Why? Because I think that my pelvic floor, my pelvis, is the root cause of some of my imbalances in my previous foot pain, the back pain, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm trying to strengthen these deep stabilizing muscles.

So it all happens in between your two hips, this like muscle in between that area that separates the top and bottom of your body. Yeah, that's where it all stems from. So if you've got your core stabilized, then you're gonna be okay. But we really have to move on. We really have to move on.

That was it, that was so much faster. That was a minute and 30 seconds. You were just obviously, you were really engaged. Do you have- In my core really engaged. Do you have- In my core, yeah. Do you have a next, do you have the next segment? Yeah, I mean, I think this is episode 52, so let's play Who's 52, celebrity game.

I love that. Loser has to sing a song. David Spade. David Spade, I believe is 60, Spade age. Yeah, he's 60 years old. Okay. Give me John Ham.

John Ham age. He is 53 close. How about our old friend, Ed Helms? Ooh, that's good. Ed Helms, 50. that's good. Ed Helms. 50. A solid 50. But now that I'm in that zone,

don't let me get in my zone. I'll guess Toby from The Office. You don't even know his name. That doesn't count as a celebrity if you don't know his name. Toby from The Office actor. Paul Lieberstein. Yeah, age, 57.

It's a little older than that, yeah. What about Jason Bateman? That's really good, 55. Okay. Although if we're going Bateman, I can go Will Arnett. Yeah, but I think he's- Ooh, he's 54. Ooh.

He's 54. And that's time. That's absolutely time. So we didn't get one. I didn't quite get it. Yeah. Should we look them up or it doesn't matter? We can keep it-

We can play again. We can play again. This is our podcast. We'll do a second segment where we continue. That's awesome. Okay. So let's, I think I, all right. 52, who? Oh, you want to play again right now?

I think we got to move on to a segment. Okay, great, fine. We'll come back if necessary later. Podcast pick. What's a podcast that you're into right now? What are you listening to? Oh, yeah. I mean, back to sports.

I've been listening to a lot of like basketball podcasts. The Hoop Collective has grown on me. It's Windhorst, Bond Temps, and McMahon, these three sports journalists that talk to each other three times a week. But listening to the David Cross podcast, shout out to Census Working Overtime on the Headgum Network, I find myself listening,

it used to be like I'm gonna listen if I know the guest, but now I just listen to every episode. I found myself rooting for just listening to David Cross talking to his friends. It's a very, very casual conversation, which I kinda like. Like they just seem to be meandering, not talking about anything in specific,

but sometimes they get into fun stuff. That's interesting. Yeah, I remember from his pitch, he was like, my podcast, I will only fall back on the theme if I run out of things to talk about. I'll basically never ever talk about it. It's never happened, yeah. He's never ever been like, what's the craziest thing

you ever smelled? It seemed like the theme was forced on him, and he doesn't. You have to have a format. Nor does he want a reference. He's like, I'm not gonna talk about my theme. It's a title. He doesn't care, yeah.

Sweet, and we have to move on. You don't have one or? We don't have time. We don't have time. Recipe recap. What have you cooked this week? Let's talk recipes. Okay, what have I cooked this week?

I can start because I cooked, I actually did some, I started cooking this week. I've been, in addition to my Pilates, I've been making a point to have breakfast because I was a breakfast skipper. Yeah. And I thought that I was- Just coffee until lunch. And I was working out hard.

I was basically- Intermittent fasting style. I slept a lot, but then I was up, skipping breakfast and asking a lot of my body. So for the last two weeks, I've gotten up nice and slow and didn't ask my body to do anything except for eat and come online. And it's been great. Come online, like use the internet?

No, just kind of like all systems going. The pelvis is floating in the correct space. Very pelvis forward, yeah. So what are you feeding your pelvis every morning? So I'm shoveling yogurt in my ass to get to my pelvis. Because that way it's closer to the floor. I've been doing some oatmeal, the floor. I've been doing some oatmeal

stirred with protein powder and peanut butter powder. So it's a protein based peanut buttery oat paste with a scoop. Excuse me. We're almost out of time. We're almost out of time and I'd like to finish what's in my bowl and I can't. Time is up.

Time is up. Nobody will ever fucking know. Okay, here's a question. This is a finish this Jake and Amir quote, or actually, sorry, this is, guess this Jake and Amir video, okay? Okay, okay. The line is Amir, parentheses, speaking a bit too loudly.

I don't care if he's big or small, as long as his dick is warm and he fills me up with that boiling hot spum. Yeah, I remember this episode, I don't remember what it's called. I basically say that out loud and everyone's like, the conversations skids to a halt. And then Streeter leaves and be like, come on, man.

I'm like, what? We were having a good time. It's like an innocuous joke. I don't remember what the next line is or what the episode was. The conversation goes dead. Amir goes to take a sip of his apple juice, but notices the intensely awkward silence

and makes a face defensively. Jake and Streeter avert their eyes from Amir and each other. Amir now speaking very quietly, almost under his breath. How is that any different? Yes, it's not his food. Jake's doing daggers. It's from Jake and Amir Lunch Conversation is the name of the video.

Oh, Lunch Conversation. Yeah, I knew the conversation part. Yeah, and we're out of time and we are moving on. I was gonna say a funny story from that day, but yeah. You can't. Do we have a poem? We certainly do. This is poetry.

Sort of a lightning round version of poetry or noetry. Poetry or noetry. I have three limericks, one of which was written by yours truly. Okay. Number one, there was an old man with a beard who said it is just as I feared. The owls and a hen, four larks and a wren

have all built their nests in my beard. I'm gonna say that one's not you, but I'll keep an open mind as I hear the next two. There was an old man in a tree who was horribly bored by a bee. When they said- Yeah, that's you. Next segment.

When they said, does it buzz? He replied, yes, it does. It's a regular breath of a bee. Let me, I'll read the third. There was an old man by a stream who slept and had a wet dream. When he awoke, he looked like a bloke who sat in a bucket of cream.

Okay. Now, I mean, now it makes me want to say three because of the wet dream part, but I was so certain about two, I almost want to stick to my gut and say that you found a dirty limerick for the third one. So I'll stick to it, say man in a tree is you. Wet dream is one you found.

Man in a tree or yes, there was an old man in a tree is written by Edward Lear. That's time. That's right. I wrote the red cream one. I wrote the cream one. I wrote the cream one. If you'd like to hear it again for everybody to tell their friends. There was an old man by a stream

who slept and had a wet dream. When he awoke, he looked like a bloke who had sat in a bucket of cream. Now, Jesus Christ, that's so much spum. Boiling hot, hot spum. It's a spiritual sequel to lunch conversation. Okay, let's play. We're gonna play Fuck, Marry, Kill

with randomly generated fictional characters. So the Fuck, marry, kill, Aladdin, Silver Samurai and Homer Simpson. Fuck, Aladdin. Silver Samurai, don't know who that is, but I'd like to marry Homer because he's funny. So I'll kill Silver Samurai. It'll make me feel kind of strong

because he sounds like an awesome warrior. Yeah, yeah. I think that sounds, that actually sounds a bit, that basically sounds right. All right, here's another one. Why don't you do this one? Okay. We have Buzz Lightyear, Daisy Duck and Bambi.

Okay, so you got- I'm not gonna- You got some women in there. Right. But also kind of animals. Yeah. Makes it a little freakier. Right, I think I would have to,

it feels bad, but I wouldn't wanna, I guess I could marry Bambi and have like an, an abstain from consummating the marriage so I don't get into any like bestiality. Have sex with a baby deer. Yeah, that wouldn't be good. But I would like to protect Bambi. and abstain from consummating the marriage so I don't get into any like bestiality. Yeah, that wouldn't be good. But I would like to protect Bambi. So I'll marry Bambi and offer my protections.

It's not romantic. I would absolutely go to town on Daisy Duck. That's like oral sex. Wake up in a bucket of cream. Yeah. And we're out of time, but I'd obviously kill Buzz Lightyear. Do you have a segment for us?

Election update. Very nice. What's the latest? What are you hearing? It seems like Trump is doing crazier and crazier things, but it's kind of running away with it at this point. At least in the betting markets, he's becoming a bigger and bigger favorite.

Yeah. I think what I'm most concerned about, like if he wins the election, then I'll be pretty sad, but it would be the will of the people. And I would disagree, but at least I would be like, wow. We get what we deserve. This country is going to shit. People are bad, you know?

But what I'm more afraid of is that Kamala wins and Trump becomes president, which I think that one is more increasingly likely to happen. You mean wins the popular vote and then Trump wins? No, I mean, she just like straight up wins the election. Kamala wins the electoral vote. She wins the election and then there's some kind of like... Weird loophole.

Yeah, where they like throw out a bunch of votes, they won't certify the election, there's some kind of like- Weird loophole. Yeah, where they like throw out a bunch of votes, they won't certify the election, there's some kind of like violent uprising. But that would have happened last time. Yeah. Yeah, well it almost happened- Because when he was in power,

that's his best opportunity. Now that he's out of power, I feel like he doesn't have a lot of strength to fall back on. But haven't they like kind of slowly been like putting people in charge of the elections who, since 2020, basically every Republican that got elected is an election denier.

So there's a lot more people in Congress that would buy that, you know, he actually won the election, he lost. Well, the government did censor this story, which would have changed the election. So I wouldn't have certified the results. That's not necessarily right. And it's like, wait, what do you mean?

They denied a story and that makes the results not good and you would have not certified the election. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I would have done. I feel like they're gonna find a way to install them, but we are out of time. We are out of time, both as a segment and as a country. Do you have another question?

Or do you have another segment? How was your last trip? We didn't talk about your Denmark trip, a little catch up. Yes, so I went to Denmark for a week. Yeah, went to Denmark. We went to Copenhagen for three or four days. And then I went to Tys Vildes or something like that. I'm sorry?

Tys Vildes, Tys Vilday. Tis Vilday. Tis Vilday. Okay. A beach. How did you get there if you didn't know how to pronounce it? Oh, okay, it was a beach. I was able to spell it and put it in our car's navigation and we drove an hour outside of Copenhagen.

It's kind of like the, there were Hamptons or something. It's just like a little beach town. Sort of like a retreat, but it's kind of cold. It's kind of their main. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's definitely more quaint than the Hamptons. And yeah, it was beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous.

The weather was pretty perfect actually. It was like 50 and sunny the entire time. Did you eat anything that you wouldn't necessarily eat in America? Or is the food kind of comparable? It's pretty comparable, I think. I mean, maybe there's like, there was, there, I didn't, no, I didn't eat anything that felt particularly Danish. It was all kind of Americanized. Yeah. It's like you went to a gas station and

there's like chicken and jam. And you're like, I guess I know these two things that I wouldn't imagine eating boiled chicken with jam or something like that. And we do have to move on. I ate a diet of chicken and jam in a ten-mark. I fucking knew it. Yeah, we'll save it for the next podcast. But I do want to tell you all about the red eye that we took to get there. It was sort of a red eye from hell. It was a red eye from hell.

It was very bad. It was a very bad flight. It was one of those. Actually, you know what? I'll do, we have a minute. I'll do a very bad flight. It was one of those, actually, you know what? I'll do, we have a minute. I'll do a story about it. Okay, so we're flying to Denmark. We're bringing me, Jill, Gemma, and the nanny.

Three adults, one baby. Three adults, one baby. We're all going together. Hopefully plenty of coverage. Yeah. Yeah. But we're meeting our nanny at the airport with... Oh.

Yeah. So we're meeting her at the airport. So she's doing the flight solo. No, she was like flying in from visiting her family. So we're like, we made this... Oh, you're meeting her at the New York airport. Yeah. We made this plan.

Her roommate dropped off her suitcase at me and Jill's house. Wow. And she had a... Yeah, she had like a carry on from a weekend trip, but we got her checked bag for our trip. Wow. Her roommate dropped it off at our house.

I am driving to the airport for our red eye and I'm pulling 10 PM. Yeah, the flight is at 10 10, pulling into. Gemma's usually asleep for hours at this point. Yes, yes. And we did put her to bed. She went to bed at her bedtime at six. Then we woke her up at like eight to drive to the airport.

We're pulling in- And is she awake or is she kind of groggy at this point? She's awake. She's not happy to be awake. She's kind of like, and I'm like not into this. That we don't have time to finish the story. Let me give you the cliffhanger.

As we're pulling into JFK, I realized that- You realized you forgot the bag at home. Yeah, I didn't bring her bag at all. Where the plane is taking off- I didn't even bring it a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Jill asked me, she's like,

oh, did you bring the baby carrier, the carrier? And I was like, no, I forgot it. It was like downstairs in the hallway. And then I realized I didn't go down to the hallway at all where the roommate had dropped off the bag, just didn't bring it. So there's a comedy of errors that actually got us that bag.

And I'll tell you all about it on the next podcast. That's exciting. Should we take another break? Let's do one more. Okay, here's an SAT question. This one is for you. The question is- Thank you.

I hope it's math. It's not. Oh, it's a- Tree? Sounds like an analogy. Tree is to forest. As A, pedal is to flower. B, fish is to ocean.

C, student is to classroom. D, book is to library. or E, leaf is to branch. You know, I gotta tell you, they all sound pretty good to me. It's like one is a small subset of the other. Like, yeah, there are a lot of petals on a flower. Yeah, there are a lot of books in a library. Yeah, there are a lot of students in a classroom. Yeah, there are a lot of students in a classroom.

Yeah. Well, what was the second one? Book is to library and leaf is to branch. Leaf is the branch feels like the weirdest one. But I guess if I had to say which one is the most analogous, it would be book and library. Like a library is a lot of books

and a forest is a lot of trees. Yeah, well the answer according to a chat GPT was fish to ocean. A tree is an individual element within a larger forest, just as a fish is an individual element within a larger ocean. So not the SAT then, just the AI sort of, not necessarily giving me the correct answer.

It's possible. Because a book is a small component of the library. And I did, I chose this one because I had also gotten it wrong and I was like, maybe a mirror works here, but maybe it was Chad GPT that got it wrong. And we are out of time. We're out of time. Let's take another break.

Thank you to Helix for sponsoring this episode of our show. Boom, baby. Jake, don't you sleep on a Helix? I sure do, motherfucker. So you know how big of an upgrade it was over your last mattress. Yeah, well actually my last mattress was also a Helix. So- And the one before that.

I think it might've straight up been a helix. I had a helix, then I got the queen Lux helix, and then I went up to the king helix, because I am a king and I deserve to sleep like a king. And you are a peon, you're a plebeian, and you deserve to sleep on a fucking sleeping bag, on my couch, on my futon, on a love seat, okay? Let's move on.

We've all established that Helix is great and that you're not worth the shit. What else? Yeah, I was gonna say the prices are really, really good, really affordable for an insanely good mattress. And now if you go to helixsleep.com slash segments, they're offering 20% off all mattress orders. That's amazing.

That's amazing. So if you wanna sleep like King Felix on a King Helix over here. Oh, very good. But tread lightly. Your best chance right now is to go to helixsleep.com slash segments. Exactly right.

You don't realize how good of a mattress is waiting for you until you upgrade your current mattress that might be 10 years old and you have no idea. Yeah, and you don't realize how good your sleep can be until you're sleeping on that King Helix. Then you'll see. Again, check them out. And when you're ready to get that new mattress delivered

right to your door. Ooh, baby. Just go to helixsleep.com slash segments for 20% off all mattress orders. Gorgeous. Thank you, Helix. Thanks. And we're back.

New segment. Recap, how do you think this is going? Let's talk about it. Do you think this is enjoyable for you, enjoyable for the listener? We're too sped up? Mm, I think a couple things. One, it is a little chaotic, to be sure.

We are having to do an abridged version of everything. But you have to remember that my original idea for this podcast was that we'd only be adding one segment every week, and we would be doing every single one from the previous week and then adding one, you know? So. Yeah, I don't know if that would make things better

or a little bit worse, because we've already talked about all this stuff before. Yeah, well, I think it could make it better because all of our little tangents could live within three to five minute chunks. We'd also, we would all know what was coming up. There wouldn't be, it wouldn't be quite as frenetic. Right, we wouldn't have to come up with 52 segments.

We would just already have them. Yeah, so we would kind of like know what to expect each time. We'd be able to roll into it and roll out of it. Yeah, I'm curious if the audience likes it. I feel like they would like it as a one-off. It's a new exciting version of the show, but I don't know if they would like it

if this was every single episode. Well, it would never be 50, you know? It wouldn't be 50. It would be- Yeah, this would be the most extreme version. This is the craziest it would ever be. So- I also don't think we'll get to 50.

I don't know how many we've done so far. Yeah. It feels like half that. Right, yeah. It's definitely, well, to be fair to me, you said you wanted to spend more than a minute on each one. So we're gonna get less than 50, you know? You wanted to spend a minute and a half.

You needed to hear my airplane story. So yeah. Well, I consider that two segments almost. Yeah, and it was, and we have to move on. We actually have to move on. It seems like that's the new name of the show. We have to move on. We have to move on.

Let's talk horoscopes. Okay. You are a what? Capricorn? I feel like you're more of a cancer, but maybe that's just on society. So, Amir, did you know, shut up, if you follow your instincts

and don't stop to question what you're doing, then you should make significant progress between now and the weekend. Generally speaking, the less you think, and the more you act, well, this was from Monday, the more you act, the more successful you'll be. Do you feel like you? No, that means nothing. Really? The less I think, the more successful you'll be. Do you feel like you? No, that means nothing.

Really? The less I think, the more I act. Every action is preceded by a thought to do that action. So that means nothing. Maybe you're overthinking. It sounds like you're overthinking everything then. If every action is preceded by a thought. I'm not overthinking.

I'm not under thinking. It sounds like you should just kind of like. Just thinking and doing just like everybody else. Nobody can adjust that. And for me, there is no point getting angry with someone who is openly opposing your wishes. Wow, pretty apropos, right? Except you are getting very upset.

But it knows that I have an antagonist. According to the planets, they are making life difficult because they want you to overreact, really. But you're too smart to fall for it. Stay calm and carry on. How do you like that, you motherfucker? Keep calm and chive on. You're not calm.

I am fucking calm. You're not calm at all. I am, I am. And I'm just gonna, I'm gonna fucking, I wanna kick your ass, Blumenfeld. We have to move on. We have to move on.

All right, how about this? Sports gambling corner. My team against your team in the World Series. This doesn't happen very often. Happened in 1981. Your New York Yankees are playing my Los Angeles Dodgers. Let's come up with stakes for the series. Loser does what?

Winner takes all. Would you get a tattoo? No, would you get a tattoo? Yes. Okay. So the stakes of the bet are, if the Dodgers win, you have to get a tattoo? No, would you get a tattoo? Yes. Okay So the stakes of the bet are if the Dodgers win you have to get a tattoo And if the Yankees should win I've already stated my preference of no tattoo, right? But I'll give you seven dollars Venmo seven dollars Venmo Venmo as in digital cash. Yeah, I don't need the actual cash. You would Venmo me seven bucks.

Yeah, okay. So what's another, I mean, less stakes, obviously. Haircut. Kind of, Vegas has this as a coin toss series. It's roughly equal. Shave? Shave our heads? Shave a mustache.

Shave a mustache. Yeah. I would have to shave a mustache. You already sort of do. So you'd have to shave your head. That would be the equivalent. That's not equivalent at all. You get an interesting facial hair,

the other eye drastically changed my appearance. No, no, it's not equivalent. Yeah, we're both drastically changing our appearance. Well, you can just shave the mustache off. I can't just grow my hair back. Yeah, but it will grow back. What about, I don't know, some kind of like bodily harm? Like you would-

We're out of time. Okay. We're out of time. We are out of time. I. We're out of time. We are out of time. I guess we won't figure this out. Like chop off your finger or something. Yeah. Okay, we're going to do another random celebrity.

Now we're doing impressions. Oh, okay. Okay. So I'm gonna, I just randomly generated a bunch of them and I'm going to, oh God, this is, I can't do impressions of any of these people. Yeah, of course. You can hardly do impressions of people you can do impressions of.

Here's one, okay. Hey, Amir, so I hear you wanna fuck me. Ben Steele? That's correct. That's correct. He did come up with- All right, what about this one, really? Yeah.

Ready? Hello, Jake. I do the voice of an insurance company and people find it pretty funny. I recently passed away. Yeah, Gilbert Godfrey, dead for sure. Yeah, nice. All right, cool.

And we're out of time. We're absolutely out of time. Let's write a Jake and Amir episode. Okay. Jake and Amir, I have the disease that makes you sound like RFK. So I come into the office and I say, I'm high, Jake.

Yeah. Hey, I realize it sounds a little different. What if you served me with divorce papers? Oh, okay, that works too. Do I have a lawyer there? I realize that it sounds a little different today. What if you served me with divorce papers? Oh, okay, that works too. Do I have a lawyer there? Yeah, yeah, so you're kind of like, so we would have, we'd have a like stunt cast, your lawyer,

you come in kind of crying, I get served with papers, I say that we're not married, but then you kind of start like talking about how you're gonna take half of my shit. It turns out that I don't have a prenup, even though I don't think we were ever legally wed. But then you- Or what about bouncing off of that?

It's sort of the scene in Social Network where Andrew Garfield's character comes in and like wants the entire company. Like you better fucking lawyer up asshole. So it's not necessarily divorce. I think you've cut me out of your will or you're not willing to give me some money. Cause I'm not coming for half.

I'm coming for the whole day thing or something like that. Yeah, what if you're suing me for libel cause I tweeted my friend is so dumb blank, but you like know it's about you. And I think it was actually about somebody else. Or I posted something on Instagram that you're in the background of. And I used your likeness.

And you didn't tag me. And let me guess, Suck is gonna use that to sell a meta quest or how do you think that's gonna affect the bottom line? I'm taking you for everything you're worth. I'm taking you for everything your kids are worth, your dad's worth. And we're out of time.

And we're absolutely out of time. Yeah, maybe we can go back to the bet, sort of finalize that, cause we didn't really get to the bottom of it. No. No going back. We have to be bottom. There could be like an, oh no.'t really get to the bottom of it. No. No going back? We have to. There could be like an,

oh no, we need stakes for the fucking World Series. We could do an unfinished business segment. Okay, yeah, stuff that we didn't necessarily get to. The story about the red eye, the bet situation. Okay, sweet. So yeah, we'll wrap it up with unfinished business. Okay. Your red eye from hell?

So, first of all, we pull up to the airport having forgotten a bag. And then you said the baby carrier, like the thing that she sits slash sleeps in for the plane? No, like it's like a little baby bjorn to carry her around. We don't use it all the time. She's pretty important. Kind of, but she like, she walks now and she's not like,

you can't use it for that long. So it wasn't ideal, but we could have survived for a few days without it. If we really needed it, we could have gotten one. And was Jill like, that's funny you forgot her. She's like, what's wrong with you? Or is she like, okay, let's figure this out. Didn't want to blame you.

Yeah, no, she didn't mind. It's a high stress environment. We're trying to make this fly. We're just thinking like- You're doing your best. Do we bring everything? Oh, we probably forgot something. It was like, I think it's like in Home Alone

where they're like, you know what? I feel like we forgot something. Oh, I left the garage open. And they're like, great. Like, oh yeah, we forgot the baby, Gary. That was the thing we forgot. And then like 10 minutes later, I realized that we had forgotten the bag.

Jill. Does she think you're kidding? I get that a lot. Like you're joking, right? No, no, I was like so upset with myself because I'm like, I mean, it's truly the worst thing that we could have done. Like I was, and I was the one that was texting the nanny

who like had this whole plan, cause she had landed and I was like, are you going to come home? We'll drive you. You're like, what, you know, no, we'll do this great. And she's going to meet us at the air train every and put in her carry on. It was like, yeah.

When we were putting it all together, it felt smart almost. But then we're driving there. I know that I don't have her bag. I know she's going to meet me. And I know I'm going to have to be like, I don't have the bag, but know she's gonna meet me and I know I'm gonna have to be like, I don't have the bag, but she'll get an Uber courier,

texts our neighbor to go into the house, put the bag in an Uber and have it follow us. But we had just like sat in a bunch of traffic to get to JFK and we were gonna be there. There's a chance this courier may not get there. Yeah, cause we're checking the bags. So you have to, they have to be there at least an hour before the flight.

So we're gonna be there like an hour and 40 minutes before the flight. We're looking good. And then it's how fast can this bag get there? We go to the front gate. We're checking everything. I tell the guy at the counter what's going on. He's like, well, like I,

the computer literally won't let me check it in after, if it's an hour, if it's earlier than an hour. It's like, it'll lock me out at nine 10. It locks me out. When will the bag get here? Jill's like looking at the Uber tracking, nine oh eight. Nine oh eight.

Oh my God. So you have to hope it beats a little time. Yeah, and it's like so clearly not gonna be time because it's stuck in traffic. But Jill like calls the guy, he's texting her being like, this is like, I'm on a mission, I'm gonna get you this bag. He's like amped.

He's into it. Yeah, the driver is like, this is awesome. I'm gonna get you the bag. I just got a Philip gas. Yeah, I got to a fender bender. But he got there, got there at nine oh six. Meanwhile, the guy at the gate is telling me, he's like, what's your plan if the bag doesn't get here?

And I'm like, I don't have a plan. Like, what do you mean, what's my plan? Cause then the bag is stuck at the airport, you have to leave. Yeah, and I was like, I guess maybe I'll just empty out my backpack or something and try to fit as much of her stuff in here as I can. I don't know what the fucking plan is, man. There is no, it's all gone to shit. The plan was to meet her with her bag.

Are you sweating? This is like a not great way to start a red eye. Yeah, I'm like, I'm very nervous, but I'm still laughing. I'm excited to go to Copenhagen. And I'm like, and I think it's probably gonna work out. Anyway, the bag does get there, 906, Jill sprints down the hallway, gets the guy, gets the bag, he's like kind of laughing. We have- And does she run faster than you?

Is that why she ran instead of you? Yeah, yeah, and I was, yeah, for sure. She runs faster than me. Run faster, babe. Well, she was also, she was tracking the Uber. She was calling him. That was like their whole thing, but yeah, yeah. Then we go from there.

We're like, wow, we did it. We got on, we got the bag on. We like walked out to security. We have like TSA pre-check. We have clear. International.-check, we have clear- International. Yeah, I've got sky priority. I have like access to every fast line.

Did not realize that nighttime at JFK, they just shut them all down. Their TSA- Oh, you can't, there is no clear. They went home, clear agents, they are gone. There is one line- Regular for you. Yeah, and you can show them that you're TSA and you don't take off your shoes, but you don't get a one line. Yeah. And you can show them that you're TSA

and you don't take off your shoes, but you don't get a special line. You don't get to cut anybody. There's no access. It's mayhem. It's off. Like, and we're just standing there. Like we're gonna miss,

now we're just gonna miss our flight. I'm talking to the guys. And you gotta be the kind of guy like, hey, I am gonna miss my flight. Can I cut you? Yeah, but the problem was that there were so many people that were saying that. You couldn't be like, I'm an, hey, we're gonna miss my flight, can I cut you? But the problem was that there were so many people that were saying that. You couldn't be like, hey, we're gonna miss our flight,

let us through. And they're like, oh yeah, it's okay, we're here two hours early. It's like, no, all of us are trying to make like 10 p.m. red eyes, they're the last flights out. But you have a baby. Yeah, we did have a baby. That's gotta count for something.

And I saw this guy bring bring these two like VIPs through something like almost like they paid for the expedited black, white glove service or something. That's awesome. And I just grabbed the guy on his way out. I was like, Hey, we have a baby we're gonna miss. We're gonna miss our red eye. He like looked at this baby has to make it. She really needs to go to Denmark. What if she doesn't see Denmark? She isn't fucking a business meeting tomorrow. She's been looking forward to this her whole life, a year and a half. So he ushers us through. So the second time I'm just like, wow, we are blessed. Everything is working out. It's all these close calls.

But another way to look at it is like, all of these red flags, like just don't go. You're- Encouraging you not to get on the plane. You're trying too hard. We we get on the flight. Jill and I are like sitting in our seats. Gemma's going to bed. We're like, oh, my God, we we did it.

There's an announcement. There's something wrong with the plane. They're waiting on somebody to fix it. There's another announcement. The people aren't showing up to fix whatever's wrong with the plane. There's a third announcement. You're on the plane when 10 PM, 11 PM, midnight. It's 11 now, they're like,

it's gonna be another hour and a half, we're gonna have everybody get off the plane. So- Oh no, get off the plane. Yeah, you never wanna hear that. When you're on it. So we left, and then Jemma's just like absolutely wired, being insane in the terminal. We're waiting an hour and a half.

You got off the plane. Off the plane and we're like, should we even go? This is like, it's gonna be terrible. For sure. Yeah, you leave at 2 a.m. instead of 10 or something. But we didn't, we got back on the plane. Wow. It's 2 a.m. Now Gemma's like pretty upset.

We're the people who- Really confused. Yeah. She's supposed to be asleep for the last eight hours and for another six. And I'm talking to the agent because we're about to take off. I'm like, when are they gonna, why won't they dim the cabin lights?

It's just bright in here. Like, well, they don't want it. They can't dim them till after the meal service. And I'm like, meal service. It's 4 15. It's you delaying the flight. Do you want muesli? It's after midnight.

We're not doing a fucking dinner, right? Let this, let the, let her go to bed. You got Indian food, right? And then, yeah, then we take off and they just like leave the lights on for an hour and a half to do meal service. And Gemma is just like intermittently screaming her head off or just like kind of clawing at either me or Jill.

We're like those people on the red eye that you just never have heard of. Sorry. And then, yeah. Was that the low point? That was the low point. That was like the, I'm like, I have completely lost control over everything.

I can't get them to turn off the lights. I am thinking like, if they will only turn off the lights, then my daughter will go to sleep. But even then I'm like, I don't actually know. Yeah, it's a shot in the dark, literally. Yeah. So we kind of just like, you know, we're like playing, she's never watched a screen before in her life,

but we're just, I'm like playing, finding Nemo and just being like fish, fish, fish, look, it's a fish. To Jill. Yeah, and I think to get her to stop crying. And she's sort of just, she's just like hover, she's just like on the edge of tears, for an hour and a half until they turn the lights off. Also, you must be exhausted too,

cause it's like 4 a.m. and you usually go to bed at 9.30. Yeah, yeah, but I was like, as long as I can make her, like I don't care about myself, because I was like, I know that tomorrow she'll be able to sleep in the hotel, and I'll be able to sleep in the hotel. So I was just like, just make her not as miserable as possible until we get there.

You finally took off when and how long was the flight? I think we finally took off at like one or something, and the flight was seven hours. Oh wow, did you sleep at all? Yeah, I slept a lot. I slept for like four hours. Jill didn't sleep at all. So you slept for the last four hours of a seated flight

and then Jill did not sleep. You landed like 2 p.m. Jill slept for an hour, Gemma slept for like three hours. We land, we went to, it's like 2 p.m. in Denmark when we land. We went directly to the hotel, blacked out all the windows, put Jemma down. She took like a two hour nap.

4 p.m. to six or something. Yeah, we kind of unpacked, got dinner, and then we went to bed, and the next morning we woke up, everything was normal. You reacclimated. You adjusted accordingly. So really sacrificed one day. Yeah, and in the end it was worth it.

Yeah, because you got to see the chicken, the jam, the figs, the jelly. The beach on North Zealand, it was great. Yes, exactly. Maybe next time you go for longer, because the there and back really sacrifices a day each way. Well, next time I might just move there. Oh, that's good.

That way it's a one-way trip. Depending on if Trump steals the election. Yeah. Honestly, if you don't bring Gemma, it might be easier too because then you could just sort of sit back, relax. It doesn't necessarily matter. You don't have to do the Finding Nemo thing. But she's the only thing that gets me on the flights.

I don't cut a line without her. Yeah, she's sort of your clear, your priority access. You're the little TSA pre. She is my priority, my little sky priority. Okay, before we go, we have to figure out this Yankees Dodgers bet. It's too perfect. It's exactly New York versus LA.

Should we do? Remember the billboard bet? That was crazy. Yeah, should we do another billboard bet? I don't know, because we had access to cheap billboards. I don't know if we have that anymore. Although maybe it's up to the loser to find the billboard,

and it could be anywhere in the world. Maybe there is a $50 billboard somewhere. Let's do the billboard bet. Okay, billboard bet. The winner gets to, what, have the loser make a billboard for them. Oh, I thought it was the winner designs a billboard to be displayed of the loser. Yeah, and then the loser make a billboard for them. Oh, I thought it was the winner designs a billboard to be displayed of the loser.

Yeah, and then the loser has to deal with the logistics of getting it done. Oh, wow, all right. Because then it's like kind of a hassle. You have to research billboards. And it has to be in Denmark. It really needs to be in Denmark. Yeah.

At the very least, Denver. It should be Danish. Any D-E-N city. Okay, winner designs a billboard. Loser has to get it on a billboard somewhere in America or Denmark. Perfect. Go Dodgers, I guess. Go Bronx Bombers.

All right. That was kind of a nice year in review. We touched upon everything. Let us know what you guys think. Was this a giant mistake or should we just keep it up? Go all the way from 52 back to one. In review, we touched upon everything. Let us know what you guys think. Was this a giant mistake or should we just keep it up? Go all the way from 52 back to one. How many segments do you think we did?

40. Yeah, it's a solid over under. I gotta go a little bit above 40. It was so fast. Yeah, maybe it was 42. That's awesome. And we're gonna be in Chicago. Tickets at headgum.com slash live, November 14th.

Hell yeah. During, right after the election. So maybe we will have a new leader by then. We'll see. We'll see. Didn't they like not announce Biden till November 19th? Was it? I thought it was a few days later,

but it did take a while to count all the votes. Sorry, find all the votes. Sorry, discard all the other votes. Sorry, send all the election observers home so that they can figure out how to count them. We have to move on. We have to move on as a nation. This is the concession speech,

not the, what is it called when you win and you give his speech? Consolation? Oh, the acceptance. Yeah, acceptance. Trump's definitely doing that night one, right? There's no way he's saying, yeah. He sort of did it last time and he was losing.

Yeah. Pretty sure we're gonna win, so thank you. Thank you. Yeah. We did it. Okay, should be fun and we'll see you guys there. Tickets are still available at headgum.com slash live. Thank you for listening. Or if you're watching on our YouTube channel,

all these episodes are available in full on this here YouTube channel. So thanks for watching if you are. All right. And we'll see you next year. No. Bye everybody. That was a Hidgum Original.