If I Were You - 523: Wisdom Teeth

Episode Date: January 17, 2022

In this episode we discuss a dental procedure from hell... and a game sent from heaven. If I Were You is now on YouTube as a video podcast! Of course the podcast will continue to be available as audio wherever you listen, but subscribe to the If I Were You channel to watch them every week!See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum original. That song was a thesis. It posited a hypothesis that said, don't chipmunks eat pumpkins. It's basically pitching the idea that you could eat me. Is that right? Honestly, I'm not the artist. The man who wrote that song, as it were, is Jason Sill. Nice. Good work, Jason.

This theme song is a parody of one of the tracks from an EP he just released called Homesickness. A parody of his own track. That's right. That's good. The song is called Wallpaper, if you like what you heard. And I'd love it if you can shout out the project and my Instagram at jcsjson. Cool. Done. PS, I've also been a personal trainer for years and I met Jake right before COVID at the gym I used to work.

We talked about doing a free training session, but things closed down before we got the chance. It was still on the table if you're ever looking for a new workout routine. Wow. Okay. I left that gym, sadly, but you never know. You never know. What was the gym that you... Do you remember this interaction? Yeah, I do. It was at Willi B Fitness, a gym in Williamsburg. And I remember Jason, a jacked blonde man who came up to me and he was really strong. So yeah, I think we hit it off one strong guy to another. He asked me if I would train him.

He said that he wanted to train you. And I said, I don't really do that. Because you probably noticed me. And then he was like, no, I know you're a comedian. I'm a huge fan. I just wanted you to train me because you're so strong. No, he asked if he could train you. Not the other way around. And then he offered as a joke to train me, even though he's like, clearly you don't need it.

But I said I would. And then COVID hit. So yeah, that's the only reason we haven't done it. He wanted to make you look more like him. He asked me for a spot. Yeah. He was benching 500 pounds and I fucking... I spotted him with my cock. What's that?

I mean, I could lift that... I could lift fucking five wheels with my dick. That's what that means. That's actually what that means. Jason will tell you that. Listen to your masculinity right now, just feeling threatened. Traps, lats, delts. How's that for toxic masculinity?

If there's a reason Jake doesn't sound wise today, it's because you had your wisdom teeth pulled three days ago. Very good. Yes, yes, I did. Yes, I did. I was listening to someone with less wisdom today and was it fine when they got rid of that home? If you're watching the video at home, I can kind of...

Can you see back there? No, yeah. Too missing. Were they in and then they pulled it out or were they like below the gum line? They were in. They were there. They were teeth. You used those teeth. Yeah, I flossed them. I brushed them.

They were part of me. Did they give them to you at the end or like, by the way, look at this fucking size of this thing. Nobody would want what I saw. I'll tell you the whole fucking... I'll tell you the saga. It starts when I'm 25 or six. It basically starts 10 years ago.

My dentist at home in Connecticut tells me I need my wisdom teeth out. But he says, you had a pretty big mouth. We actually don't need to take all of them. We're just going to take the two on the upper and lower on your right side. And I say, sounds fine by me. Go in. They put me out.

I get the wisdom teeth out. Two weeks later, I come back for my check-in. The dentist who is a different dentist now, like the one that owned the practice, says to the one who removed my teeth, why didn't you remove all of them? You should have removed them all. You have fasted.

If you're going to fucking get general anesthesia, go to sleep, you should just get all the teeth. Do they do the full anesthesia at the dentist's office? That seems very extreme for somebody next to you who is getting their teeth cleaned and you're completely knocked out. I think it was general anesthesia.

Maybe it was laughing gas, but I don't think it was laughing gas. You're laughing gas out. Yeah, to make you more calm. I was completely out. Counting backwards from 10, instantly dead. Seated, not laying down like in a hospital style. Laying seated in the chair, but full recline.

Yeah, the 180. You're in delta comfort. I did a bad job taking care of them. They tell you not to suck through a straw. When I went home, how to fix smoothie through a straw. Totally forgot somehow. What's the physics of why sucking is bad? It pulls the wound up or something?

Yeah, it's like a vacuum in your throat. There's actual holes in your gums. So it must be like... Stuff going in and then everything is getting sucked out. Yeah, exactly. So you want to avoid that. It was the weekend. It was like two weeks before we moved to L.A.

So I came into the city, met you, Marty. We went out, smoked cigarettes, took vodka shots, ate sushi. I did not smoke cigarettes. Don't throw me into this thing. We went out and had vodka shots and smoked cigarettes. No, I did not. You had vodka shots. That was the night we went to sushi.

Oh yeah, we talked about going to Vegas and buying tickets to Vegas that we never actually used. We used them and then Matt canceled them or something. I don't know. Anyway, yeah. That was before you got your wisdom teeth out? No, that was like three days after. Wow, okay.

So anyway, that's a tangent. So a few years later, I knew that I was supposed to be getting my left side wisdom teeth out, but I didn't really have any interest and they weren't bothering me. Maybe if I don't mention it, it's fine. Yeah, and the reason I had gotten the right ones out is because there was an irritation in the gum and I kept on getting an infection and it would always hurt.

So it made sense that I was like, you know what, I'm going to deal with this. So for years, left side completely felt fine. Every time I went to the dentist, they're like, you really should have those wisdom teeth out. You really have to have those wisdom teeth out. Schedule your wisdom teeth coming out. I was like, I will, I will, I will.

Then a month ago, I finally got one of those infections again. I was like, okay, it makes sense. I'll just, I'll get them out. Rip the Band-Aid. Yeah. I go to my dentist. I schedule it. They tell me when I arrive that I'm not going to be put out there.

I'm like, are you guys going to knock me out? And they say, no, you can actually do this. Like you can do this while you're awake. And I've looked into it since and it's true, obviously. You can do it while you're awake. I don't know why anyone in their right mind would because it's, it's insane. Yeah.

So you're conscious. You're conscious, I should say. Fully awake. Not even like the laughing gas, but just like none of his throat. She just gave me like four or five shots of novocaine in my face. Each one hurt. So it's like already, I'd rather just got knocked out.

Yeah. But a bunch of novocaine in my face, waiting for it to, waiting to feel numb. Then, you know, I also have TMJ, right? Where I like can't open my mouth very wide. Yeah. Your jaw clicks. With a click.

Yeah. Yeah. For anyone at home, here you go. That's the sound of my jaw cracking. Yeah. So I can't open my mouth very wide before it cracks. And if after it cracks, if I shut my mouth at all, or if I keep it open, it'll like lock up and be very uncomfortable.

So I really, this is such a good time for a video podcast. This is as wide as I can open my mouth. Ready? Yeah. Right now or just before the crack. Right. This is, this is, yeah, this is without cracking. This is what I can do with the dentist is this.

Okay. Would you say it's shallower than me? Yeah. I'm probably like, I feel like I'm three quarters of what you're at, maybe even half. It's not very wide. Yeah. That's crazy.

I could never do that. What you're doing. Ah, fuck. Yeah. Fucking fuck. It hurts to even think about it. Okay. So, and I told them this previous before, before they, you know,

when I heard that I wasn't going to be put out, I was like, I have TMJ. I can't open my mouth very wide. This is as wide as I can open it. And they're like, that's fine. That's okay. Um, and I, and in my head, I was like, okay, if this starts to like be really painful, I'm just going to walk out. It's not worth it.

But stop right there. Yeah. This is really painful and I'm going to walk out. I wonder if that's ever happened during the course of a wisdom tooth extraction, a walk out. Well, it almost did during mine. She was like, she, they got one out and she was like, do you want to stop because she knew how bad it was.

So they got at the top or the bottom? The top, the top one was first and literally you could just feel them going like boom, like removing a screw from a plank of wood. You know, you go to the dentist and you see like the fucking, the thin little instruments, you see the little needles and you're like, ooh, I don't want that. When I looked over, it was like a fucking, it looked like a set of chisels. It was like true carpenter tools. They had like, they were so thick and heavy pliers, forceps, like who does this job?

Like who chose, like you have to be kind of fucked up to like, I want to fucking do this. Like I want a whole teeth. Yeah. Yeah. I think I would agree. It's kind of messed up. So she's trying to get my top tooth.

The angle is too bad because my mouth isn't going to open anymore. Yeah, they can't get it. It's the back one. It's the hardest one to remove. They have me like biting on something so like, I can like, so I'm not having to hold my mouth open, but I'm also not having to like, but I'm also not having to like, you know, what is the word that I'm trying to say? I don't know.

Yeah. They basically have my mouth wedged open. Okay. That's what it feels like. Does it hurt when they're pulling the tooth or you're so numb? You just feel like movement. You feel pressure. And but they're like the way that they had to get at my tooth because I can't open my

mouth, like I'm feeling they're like pulling at my cheeks. They're like using my lips as leverage for their tools. So it's painful. Like it's pinching. They're like pulling out my beard hair. It's not. Novocaine is not doing the job. Like it's not enough.

Like yes, my, I didn't feel the instruments on my teeth, but everything I could feel on my face, the twisting, the pulling, the punching. God. And you're just getting like just instinctively like annoyed. Like someone is punching. Yeah. So you're a fight or flight sentence. Right.

Sentences are height. Turn your head all the way to the side. I'm just trying to like, I'm basically lying in fetal position in the chair trying to tilt my head back, bury my top teeth. And is this the one you're attracted to? The dentist? No. She's the one that owns the practice.

Got it. Yeah. This other. Enter Sandman for the wisdom extraction. I'm not, I'm not attracted to her just because of how much she hurt me. She, or maybe I am at this point. She couldn't get the tooth out, couldn't get an angle on the tooth to the point where she had to saw my wisdom tooth in half so she could take it out in pieces.

Which way did she saw like down, like down almost like imagine a loaf of bread that you're slicing it or like cutting the top off like a mushroom cap? No. Down the middle of the bread. So you know, your tooth has like four little prongs and the, and the cap at the top. She just cut that cap straight in half. How? So she took out with a weird looking fucking like a little hacksaw.

It looked like a tiny little drill and I just heard the smell of like burning a mammal felt it felt. So then that's like fucking worst. She freaking out too. Or is like, I want her heart rate monitor. Like while this is happening. Is this the equivalent of her like eating a salad at the cheese. No, this is not casual.

Calm or she's like, oh shit, something is going like, I don't put out a fire in my kitchen level. I don't think it's that. I don't think it's like I'm like flat lining, but it's like she's, she's like, damn, this is not an easy procedure. Like what she wants is that this tooth just comes right out. It's not fighting, but the maybe like fishing that level of adrenaline like, whoa, I got something here.

Yeah, she wants to get a good grip, rip it out, but she can't do that because the like the tails of my teeth are curved. They're not like, they weren't straight up and down. So she couldn't get that clean pull and then she had to cut it in half. So she basically had to like unhook it from my mouth and I could hear them like using that drill and like almost like a splitter, like cracking my teeth open and this is just for the first one. This is just for the first one and she did it.

So she got the, how long do you think it took like from the beginning of the injection to like this moment where they're slicing it in half to try to take it out bit by bit? That took probably 25 minutes. The entire thing was supposed to take an hour and it took almost an hour and 40 minutes. Oh my God. Okay. So 25 minutes in there, slicing your tooth and half trying to pull it out piece by piece. And multiple times she's like told me to raise my left hand if it was ever too uncomfortable.

Multiple times I've raised my left hand and I've asked for more Novikin because it's starting to wear off. Like they'll just be pulling, pulling, pulling and then all of a sudden like sharp searing pain. It's like, oh wow, you just hit somewhere where you didn't numb my mouth. You have to get another shot in there. And then how was your general attitude slash disposition at this point? Are you like, wow, this is crazy, but like let's fucking do this or like this is a huge

mistake. Get me the fuck out of here. Yeah. I'm like, this is a huge mistake. Like if, and I was like, oh wow. So like my idea of walking out, I didn't realize that I would have half of my, like my tooth is cut in half. I can't walk out.

This has to, we have to finish it. So and like, you know, she's asking like, are you okay? Is there anything? All right. I'm like, and I was like, I mean, no, I mean, yeah, I guess it's as good as can be. And then I won't. So then yeah. So then she finished one and a half tooth.

She couldn't, she couldn't get one of the roots on this one. She's like, the other one is like fully in your sinus. You don't want it out. You just have a hole in your sinus. And I'm looking at the X-ray where she's like showing me how much of my tooth she'd taken out. Like basically there's 25% of my tooth just left in my gum. And I'm like, does this even count as a wisdom tooth extraction?

Like, is this good? Did this help anything? And she was like, yeah, yeah, no, it's, it's good. It's good. We like needed to get it from the surface and now like your teeth are protected and your gum's going to grow over and it's going to be fine. And like there's a chance that in 15 years, your, your gum will reject this new growth. And it's like, and then she, and then that was just the top.

You haven't done the bottom yet. Not even, no, not the bottom yet. And so she's done it. And I'm like, and I just straight up asked her, I was like, what is going on here? Like what is this isn't a standard procedure, right? There's no way that you do this every single time you take someone's wisdom teeth out. And that was when she explained to me all of like the things about my teeth that like my, my jawline was like fighting for, fighting for the tooth that it was further down in

my gum line that my roots were hooked rather than straight. She's showing me the teeth and they're just like crumpled pieces of garbage that she's yeah, that she's pulling out like willy nilly. So it wasn't like a single shark tooth. It was like, look at these rocks that I found on the beach. Yeah. She had to shatter my tooth and then take it out piece by piece is what happened. And then she was like, do you want to not do with the bottom?

She knew how uncomfortable it was. You clearly aren't having fun here. Do you want to just call it at this point? Yeah. So do you like we can, we can stop now. I know this is a lot. And I was just like, I, I mean, I have to get it done at some point, right? Like it's at the, at this stage, I'm like, I'm not going to go to three

different wisdom teeth surgeries. If I left, I would never get that the bottom one. So I was like, so we just have to like do it and hope that it's not as bad as the first one. And low and behold, the bottom one was not quite as bad as the first one. She still had to also cut it in half. Okay. She still did not get the full tooth. But enough of it came out, enough of it came out.

It was 80 to 90 percent of the bottom tooth. Okay. Also cut in half. So there is still a little wisdom fragments in your top and bottom. Yeah. But the gum grows over it. And in theory, there's more room for your now furthest back molar to live and breathe. Yeah.

And what I looked up after the fact was also like, because everyone was telling me that I had to get them removed because of crowding. And I looked it up and it was like crowding just happens naturally as you age. It doesn't really have to do with your wisdom teeth. So, okay. It's kind of a farce for the dentist to make cash. So the procedure ends and are you like, wow, that was intense. But I'm relieved to finally go home.

Where you're like, I didn't want that. Yeah, it was messed up. It's like, I was like, you guys lied to me. I asked if I was going to get put out, put down. You said, you said I didn't need to. And then you gave me the worst experience of my life. You were like, it's all going to be fine. Don't worry.

And I told you that I couldn't open my mouth enough. I said, it was going to be hard. You said it was going to be fine. And then the most of paper parking on the way out, do you guys validate? They call is the validate. There's like pain meds that you get prescribed. There's a CVS just down the street. They're like, we're going to call it in right now.

It'll be ready within like 20 minutes. You can go pick it up. Is this in Brooklyn? Like, are you walking these places or is it driving? It's in Brooklyn. So I'm just, I walked from the dentist to CVS. They say it's not ready. I wait a little bit, check in.

They say it's not ready. Wait a little bit, check in. They say it's not ready. They say, are you sure they called it in? I call them. They say, yeah, we called it in. Oh, actually, no, it got bounced back. We're going to call it in in a second.

The doctor's in a procedure. I'm like, I've been standing at CVS for 30 minutes. I ended up by the time that they finally, like also every time I called them, it went straight to their voicemail or picking up. So you're wearing a mask and also like chewing on gauze or something. Yeah, I'm spitting bloody gauze into the garbage can at CVS. They got rid of all of the chairs and like the waiting area because it's for COVID shots now.

Of course. So I'm just standing against a wall in a crowded CVS with my mouth bloody. The Novocaine or yeah, the Novocaine slowly wearing off all of the pain coming back, can't get the pain meds because they didn't call them in. I ended up waiting there for an hour and a half before I finally got got the medicine. And what was the medicine? Was it like the good stuff? No, it was not the good stuff.

It was just like extra strength, ibuprofen. So they didn't give you like Percocet. They gave you like the equivalent of having three Tylenols and two pills. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. So then you when you left, were you like, I didn't like that by or you like, hey, thanks, bye, I got to go. We'll talk later, but I'm not OK.

I'm going to I'm going to write them another. I'm going to I'm going to get in touch with them because I also found out today that my insurance didn't cover it. So I need to be like, you guys. Fucking suck. Like, was it was this your like childhood dentist or is this like a no, this is like a bougie Brooklyn dentist that that I thought was supposed to be good. But there's they're like they're too bougie to take insurance or something.

But I they've they've worked with my insurance for a long time. So I think they should have like preempted and told me what it was going to cover. I asked what it was going to cover and they said it's going to cover 80 percent of the procedure. And then I got the bill and it it didn't close. And then I called my insurance and they were like, yeah, we cover 80 percent of like our rate or whatever. I don't know.

Everybody's the worst. Everyone's just trying to get my fucking teeth and my cash. Jesus Christ. So how does it feel now? Like, what was the next day? Was it as painful? But you had painkillers. That that day and that night was really, really bad.

And I was like, aside from being in pain, I was just like morose and full of regret that I had ever even gone to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth out. It was almost like I felt stupid. I was like, I shouldn't have done this to myself at all. But I think in the long run, it'll be good. Like in two weeks when your mouth is fully healed, will you be happy that you did it? I think I would be I think I'd be happy that I did it if I had

gotten it covered by insurance, which it always is. And I've gotten. Aside from the dentist not getting them all out the first time in Connecticut, like my childhood dentist, they did a good job. So I would have just and they they take my insurance. So I would have just done that or gone somewhere that takes my insurance. So I guess the the lesson here, the unsolicited devices, get your wisdom teeth out as early as possible.

And if they offer it to you and while one fell swoop, do that. And if they tell you, you can go completely out subconscious. Yeah, do that. Do that, for sure. Do that and check with your insurance before you get anything done. I guess people probably do that, but I'm too trusting. I'm just like, oh, yeah, my insurance covers this.

Great. And then you get the like the bill from your insurance and you find out that they don't. And I think the doctors know that you don't and just don't want to tell you because then you won't get anything done with them. And they'll charge a lot because insurance companies will sometimes blindly pay, so they'll be like, that cost twenty eight thousand dollars. Your companies are like, yeah, that's fine. We'll just charge everyone seven hundred dollars a month

to get our insurance and then cover this shit. Right. But if you have Guardian Dental, you pay like seven dollars and and it feels good, but then they actually don't cover anything. So. Oh, that's fun. We have the same dental insurance, I just realized, because we're both employed by the same company, which is that gum. So really, we have ourselves to blame. Yeah, we we founded the company.

So we should definitely get everyone better dental. But I think dental is like just not that good across the board. But yeah, because they all assume that you don't have to get this insane procedure done. Although, if they recommended it and it's like for your health, I guess they're saying you didn't have to get it done. They I don't know. No, they should. They they usually cover this. They just don't cover it at my dentist.

Sheesh. Well, I'm glad it hurts less now. That's good. And hopefully in the long run, it'll be worth it. And it felt good to complain about it. I feel bad. I'll I'll let me pay for it, because I feel I feel like I kind of messed you up. It was my idea to go guardian dental insurance wise. Really? Yeah. How much was it? I'll Venmo you right now. Awesome. Yeah, it was.

What was it? Forty thousand dollars. Forty. Forty five thousand dollars. Did you tip? Yeah, I tip two hundred percent. You tip ninety thousand dollars. You idiot. You're going to cover it or not.

Fine, I'll send you a hundred and thirty five grand. That's enough. Then you really have to stop complaining about this shit. You made out like a bandit. I guess you're right. All right, let's take a break. Oh, wait, I guess I should say this is if I were you. Dental podcast, the only one on the Internet hosted by us.

I'm Amir. I'm Jake. We have been talking a lot about dental procedures recently. Yeah, I mean, right what you know, I guess. And we've been in the thick of the dental shit right now. But that's right. When we get back after these messages, let's let's answer some questions. Shall we? I think that's right. Enough is enough.

Thank you to Helix Sleep for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell, yes. Thank you for making the sleep test, the sleep exam and letting me ace it and become the doctor of the mattress. Yes. Yeah. So Helix makes a really great mattress line and you take a little sleep quiz to see what mattress is right for you. Yeah, right. Jake's been bragging about completing this two minute,

honestly, like Buzzfeed light quiz. I don't how you sleep for the better part of I do not. I do not brag. I don't brag about completing it. I brag about acing it because you got the mattress and it was great. Or yeah, I got the perfect mattress. Thank God. Thank God I took that test. That's right. And if you want the perfect mattress,

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based on how you fill up that sleep preference. And they'll send you the best one. And if you go to helixleep.com slash if I were you, that's 20 percent off. Amazing. Thank you, Helix. Sleep well. Thank you to Stamps.com for sponsoring this episode of our show. Visiting the post office and dealing with shipping and handling is probably one of the most stressful parts of owning a business.

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You click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code if I were you. And that gets you a free four week trial, free postage and a digital scale. That sounds pretty good. Thank you, Stamps.com for sponsoring this show. And we're back. Jake, do you have any? Oh, it's a little bit of the fight. Mom, I'm coming. Gross.

I can tell the wisdom teeth story again. Just to really hammer it. Yeah, how did they slice it in half? Go into greater details. We got almost like splitting wood or was it more of like a hot knife through butter? It was definitely more of a drill, actually. Yeah, almost like they into concrete, a jackhammer of sorts. Yes, that's exactly what it was.

So it's split from the. Yeah. But yeah, you go ahead. You go ahead. Have you been playing wordle? No. Great. That's that's the answer I wanted to hear. So have you been seeing things about wordle in the Twitter sphere? No, because I'm also not on Twitter.

OK, so there's not I'm like, I'm fully out. I saw the only place I've seen it is on our Slack. Right. So there's this daily word guessing game. It's kind of like I've ever played a mastermind as a kid where you try to guess the four pegs and it's no I never played that. OK, great. So this is a word puzzle game. And the cool thing about it is that it started off as like

just a random website game that somebody made like six months ago and like several hundred people were using it. And then in the last like few weeks, like hundreds of thousands of people are using it and you only play one puzzle a day and everybody is trying to guess the same word. So the entire globe is sort of trying to get this one word every day and there's a new word at midnight every night. Whoa, interesting.

So like when people post their score, it's like, oh, I guessed it in four tries. I guessed it in two, I guessed it in six. I didn't guess it at all. So I can explain it to you by sharing my screen. We could do today's puzzle. Obviously, I've already solved it because I do it right at midnight, but you've never played before. Interesting. Is it a is it a website or an app? It's a website. That's how old school this is.

Yeah, I'm not going to ever download another app. You don't have to. That's OK, so we're looking at can you see this wordle? Yeah, so it's power language dot code dot UK slash wordle. That's a low five. This is so every day you have to guess. You have six rows. Those are each your guesses as to what the daily word of the day is. And it's always a five letter word.

And it starts. You can just start by guessing any five letter word. What five letter word do you think it is? So just any five letter word. That's right in the world. That's right. Let's go. Sward, S W O R D. OK, then you hit enter. And you see how those turn gray?

Yeah, if one of them turned yellow, you would know that that letter is used, but not in that spot. And if one of them turned green, then it's like you use that letter and in the right spot. I see. So right now that's a that's a you were over five. You didn't get any information, but you know that those five letters are not used in that word. OK, let's go gauge.

G. Yeah, you. No, no, no. G a. You G. G. A. U. G. E. Yeah, not an ideal word because you're guessing the letter G twice, but I can still input it for you. I see. Let's yeah, let's make me suffer. OK. Oh, there's an A and an E in the word of the day.

there but not there and no G's no G's no use so like you can see the keyboard at the bottom those grayed out letters are not in the word of the day and again everybody on earth is trying to guess the same word today and today only okay so there's definitely an e yep definitely need definitely an a okay so let's try b e t a s betas you know that there's no s though oh I already eliminated s from the swords all right okay okay all right this is not a time thing right nope not a time thing great but it's a how many times can you guess it or how many words do you guess before you nail it okay so let's go T we'll

start with a T of course because there's no R yep we know there's an E so let's go T e yeah could it t e a uh-huh it's I can only think of four letter words and add an s see this is the challenge you gotta you gotta look at the light gray part of the keyboard that'll give you some options for letters okay okay okay yeah totally totally um all right may fucking hell meaty give me meaty M E a T why yeah enter uh oh oh jakey see what happened there yeah that's why there's a why right there too that you nailed the why but there's no T okay there's no T there's

no M there is an E and an a just not there and it's also not where the upper letters are it's like the a can't be here or here and the e can't be here or here but it does end in a Y so if you get it right now you'll get it in four if you need another guess then you'll get it in five if you need another guess you'll get it in six I mean I definitely need another guess I don't I but you're eliminating a lot of the keyboard there's not a lot of letters left I straight up can't think of a fucking word yep yep that happens that happens for sure okay so let's go can I suggest four letters and a word like any there's

some four letter words here that can end in Y like picky or licky or a hickie right yep that's right but there's no but then there's no E and or a in there nope no a and no e so I need those yep don't I you do so thanks for the fucking suggestion or you can just assume okay I'll get the e's and the a's later let me just remove some of these consonants that I don't have different strategies involved yeah I see I see I see okay I I respect that yeah at the same time I think I want to try to think of a word that starts okay here we go yeah a c yeah h yep e yep why it's funny you mentioned that because it's not in

the word list but I also tried it and all my friends who I've been talking to also tried it so much so that I actually tweeted today hey wordle a key is an actual word and it's doing great I guess a lot of people are in fact running into that same problem a key does not have an e in it evidently interesting but it's funny because everybody on earth is playing this game and so many of them tried a key I'm glad you tried it wow wow that's that's gonna fuck me up a little bit yeah okay okay so we are gonna have we gotta start from we gotta start fresh yeah it's really fucking nerve-wracking to play live yeah yeah for

sure for sure for sure let's go each yeah it could be hacky it could be hacky but now it could be hacky cuz that that a that a yeah but that'll eliminate a c and a k okay all right fine let's do it hacky is the choice not in the word list holy shit okay let's go we can't go tacky that would be tacky okay it's so fucking hard and this is sort of the daily struggle that you have whenever you decide to do it cuz you're you're gonna be sharing your score you don't want to be like I got it in six or I didn't get it at all there's some I consider like four to be good five is

like baseline average and if you can get it in three that's worth bragging about I see but if you get it it's like yeah you shouldn't even fucking say anything yeah six is like yeah you did it that's baseline and some people can't even get it at all yeah I don't think I can yeah and then I've only gotten three once and I've been playing it for a week so this is last night was my seventh and I got this word in four okay let's go janky okay let's see if that's a word it's not a word I don't know what to tell you these are all hacky they're words maybe maybe they don't have the entire

dictionary all right picky that's what you said originally and it's I see k y but it can eliminate some stuff unfortunately it didn't eliminate much of anything yeah that's that is all but now you're down to knowing that it's basically these like these consonants right here cuz odds are there's no qz or x in it so you're into this zone right here yeah so wait there's no oh yeah that we know and it's not gonna be q because there's no you there's no you yeah that's right all right so we know that starts eliminating some stuff yeah okay and then you start to notice patterns and words like maybe the it's it

ends in an e y maybe the right you know it ends of the y there's not a lot of words consonants that can go right before that right it's not like gonna end an h y or j y or something yeah yeah totally you know that's kind of like a chicken satay that yeah there's an a there's an a y but that's that's a c a y oh yeah that's but that was that's not what it would no and yeah it's not gonna be x and you know that there's no a or e here or here or delay b e l a y yeah Jake we're getting really fucking close that was your fifth guess but you know that there's a b in it now and you know that there's no a here here here or here

so you know where the a is and you know where the yeah so it starts with an a that's right you've eliminated at every possible a except for the one that it's in and you know that there's a b in it yeah so that so a what that's this makes no sense to me or doesn't make all the sense in the world all right so there's no so there a has to go there that's right there's no e as a second letter yep that's correct so the e has to go probably right before the y yeah yeah and you also know that there's a b somewhere in these last two then it's almost like a Sudoku you can start eliminating oh is it just abbey is it

abbey yes it is abbey so it's god damn so there you go that was your first wordle you did it in six guesses and then it keeps your statistics so if you you have like a current streak of solving it an average answer this is this is good for you because I sort of took your training wheels for that first guess so like by the time you do it tonight at midnight there'll be a new word you can do play nice and you'll have all this built-in information you won't have any like practice round do people ever get it in one some people have guessed it in one that's I can't tell if people are lying on Twitter or actually bragging

about guessing it like two days ago the word was drink and somebody's like yeah I was just thirsty I guess drink interesting some people almost like that's more luck that's not even impressive like it's more impressive if you get it in two because it's like then you're solving the puzzle if that's actually that's actually another tweet that I posted two days ago I said three is the goat abbey wordle score because it means you figured it out one or two means you got lucky and then like four through six is just like it took you a while you really want to get that third one or you can eliminate so many good

letters and then figure it out by guess three damn so how do you think I I mean I feel like I did pretty bad no you did pretty good this one is a hard one because there's really no consonants it's like a vowel two B's and then a vowel vowel so like you had to eliminate a bunch of consonants it's it's sneaky with the double the double because you when you look at the board you're like how can I make a word but you forget that like you know that B being yellow doesn't mean that there's only one yeah like I think one of my first words was banal B A N A L and I like couldn't figure I couldn't get my wrap

my mind around the fact that there's an A in there twice like banal B N all bono I'm like what could it possibly be yeah but all all right yeah so that's my unsolicited hop on to the wordal train you'll see it everywhere and it sucks you in all right I'll do it all right should we try to answer a frickin question after all these beers yeah let's do it okay here's a quick one just to get us just to get us in the mindset yeah let's do it hi I'm a 33 year old male who's selling the recreational cannabis company in Oregon that I've poured my blood sweat and tears into for the last six years it's

been so stressful and combined with me losing my only surviving parent and worry about the future of big canna companies it seems like the right move but after I sell I should have a couple million dollars that well maybe not be enough to completely retire is pretty frickin close I plan on spending at least six months off to enjoy my newfound freedom before I start grinding again if you quit your jobs with a somewhat large amount of money where would you go and what is on y'all's bucket list what would you do if money was no object also if you could retire pretty young would you I kind of want a half retire so I'm not bored like starting another business that doesn't

take over my life and all my free time but that seems hard if you want it to succeed anyway much love from another secular 30 something year old Jew PS I found you on NAD pod and while not a day one fan I'm a patreon supporters of you both all right hell yeah well you better be with that cash can you imagine just pouring your blood sweat and tears into a company for six years and then somebody just writes you a frickin four million dollar check for your efforts shout out to this guy shout out I mean that's is that how long headgum has been around six seven years and yeah much much longer than this guy we honestly started a headgum before this guy started his cannabis company he's already yeah it started like 2015 it's almost

the exact same amount of time yeah I feel like we should have just pumped all of our resources into weed that would have been smart you should have invested in this guy's company god this question may be so jealous yeah really I but I will be jealous I'm happy for you proud of you congratulations I feel nothing but anger greed wrath whoa this guy also got abby in three yeses all right fuck you man uh that is the dream it's it's totally the dream just to like not fully retire but to just like stresslessly check out for a little bit take a well-earned respite and use some cash that you earned to experience some cool shit while you're still young I think that's awesome yeah and you

can sort of go anywhere in the world minus the whole COVID thing so like right take some of the cash and I don't know check out Italy for a month or two or London or something yeah I think that's what I would do I would probably live abroad somewhere where I could travel a whole bunch you know like get to know a country or continent yeah um but yeah do check those uh COVID restrictions because you don't want to end up in a place and then sort of have to quarantine there for three weeks yeah that would not be that fun that would definitely not be that fun and then when you come back you don't necessarily have to like hit the ground running and grind again you could like become an investor or a consultant or just like advise people you know dip your toe back in

because you've done something that everybody wants to do you can help other people build and grow their businesses yeah and there's probably ways to invest your cash so that you're making money every month probably enough to live in a different country oh yeah definitely America is somewhat designed to keep rich people that way so there are probably some hacks and games you could create to um turn your lump sum of cash into a passive income that won't require you to ever work again but still remain in the top one percent yeah actually me and Amir will invest your cash for you for a really small fee you want to just be this man's money manager ideally yeah because he and I are on on a fucking catamaran and abyss and I'm just making day trades

pumping dump crypto nft fucking whatever yeah so yeah I've lost a few k of your money but like let's not sweat the small stuff bud we're we're here we're in it for the long haul I want to be your friend just me so sunburned on a catamaran I'm actually pretty hangry and ahead of you um do you mind if I write off another $10,000 check where we can get a poke bowl or something do we have any cold linguine what linguine passing out falling off the boat you have to save your life no one dives in just let him go it's fine his his teeth hurt a lot this is probably for the best I shouldn't sink too low in the water that pressure will get to me try sockets wise uh okay let's take another break thanks more sponsors so that we can make as much money as this guy one

day someday and answer another question on the other side of these messages boom thank you to aura frames for sponsoring this head gum podcast you know aura frames is sponsoring not just this episode but the entire head gum network jake wow that's correct I mean this might be the goat father's day gift I think it actually is yeah yeah not just father's day but if for any not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon these digital photo frames might be the best of all time yeah for me personally these things are perfect I'll tell you why as you know I am expecting yeah uh my first child we got one for Jill's parents oh wow we got one for Jill's grandma holy smokes we got one for my parents so there are three of these bad boys uh in our

family right now but they are they're great really easy way to like stay in touch with your family you can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen it's really nice oh that's cool so you take a photo of anything perhaps a baby and then it goes to their digital photo yeah frame this is actually how we how we told Jill's grandma she was pregnant we got her the aura frame we plugged it in Jill's grandma was pregnant really nice asshole this was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife and you're trying to make a joke of it I was just being goofy a little bit like uh this is how I told my grandma she was pregnant yeah yeah kind of like a she misheard it or something like that or the way you said it was kind of like could go either way by the way

Jill's grandma is pregnant oh my god Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant it's pretty cool and you told me with a digital photo frame holy smokes and we let her know with an aura yeah thank you the aura announcement uh so you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the aura app add me to your aura app I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something that could be funny yeah like your banana your dog alongside pictures of my daughter yeah yeah exactly you deserve that you can even preload photos and add a personal video message that will display as soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame yeah it's a great gift a really really iconic gift and right now you can save on the

perfect father's day gift and visit aura frames that's a u r a frames dot com and our listeners can use code head gum to get up to 30 off plus free shipping on the best selling frames there it is oh wow this is timely the deal ends on june 18th so don't wait terms and conditions apply that's aura frames a u r a frames dot com okay go get your parents something all right and use the code head gum for 30 off plus free shipping right on thank you aura and now back to the head gum podcast you were listening to this show is sponsored by better help thank you better help if you're finding yourself in a difficult anxious stressful situation talking to a professional licensed therapist is the best way to navigate yourself out of that difficult place and it's

not necessarily easy to find a therapist especially one in your area but better help makes that all easy because it's online therapy designed to be convenient flexible and suitable to your schedule you just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge it's incredibly helpful therapy has helped millions of people over thousands of years uh so give therapy a try it can give you the tools to find a more balanced life i've tried therapy it's been very helpful um so you can find that balance better with better help all you got to do is go to better help dot com slash if i were you you do that today you can get 10 off your first month so the prices are already affordable because you're

not paying rent for a building somewhere that you have to drive to and wait in a waiting room this is done entirely online but you're still getting professional licensed help uh and it's extra affordable that's better help h e l p dot com slash if i were you check them out thanks better help all right we're back let's try to get one more question on the books okay let's do it a 24 year old guy from australia hmm okay yes an ozzy we'll call ozzy ozzy i love that i'm part of a friend group that's mostly online with people from different states within the country however one of the guys in the friend group who i went to school with is getting married which is cool and all except for one of the girls in the group was super excited and really wanted to go despite living in a different

state but she wasn't invited hmm obviously she would understand if she wasn't invited due to her being in another state or the wedding size but they have invited someone else from her state as well and a few others that i know she would think aren't as close to them as she is i'm her closest friend in the group and she'll find out eventually who's going to the wedding but the groom has said to keep it secret so should i tell her she wasn't invited to the wedding beforehand or just wait for the day to happen yours sincerely ozzy yeah i think i've said this before but after planning my wedding you they're just they're very personal things don't go rogue don't take matters into your own hands the bride and groom are dealing with a lot of moving pieces so you don't want to tell

her before because then she'll reach out like i just wanted to know why i wasn't you didn't think it right for me to show up did you yeah i i think that was a really good accident actually how could you not invite me at least bring me on the hendu it's me edith and i want to show up to your wedding day you call that a knife this is a knife that's a perfect edith impression that australian but a perfect i think that you just like this isn't you can't take these matters into your own hands the options aren't keep it a secret or tell i think if you're feeling very concerned and like this will really hurt somebody i would sidebar with the groom and just be like you don't have to invite her but i think keeping it secret that's not something we can do it's

going to get to her are you okay hurting her feelings what how do you want to play this how do you want to play this groom knowing that it can't be kept a secret if what about if this guy's your friend what about getting a plus one and bringing her just straight up bringing her so you show up like willy wonka like you look sick you have like a cane and you're like attending the wedding oh oh then you collapse forward summer salt reveal and then and that's either oh hello you thought you could have it without me did you yeah then she has to confront them face to face which is good edith should pop out of a cake like a fucking stripper imagine edith covered in frosting during the dessert course oh yes i'm from out of state actually i didn't even get to eat the

dinner because i was in the cake what did you guys eat chicken oh fish oh edith put some fucking fans on you're insane yeah i think you just it's it's not your call this isn't your wedding so you don't really get this kind of you don't get these decisions to be made over the over the invite list what you do get to do is tell your friend if something you're gonna that they're gonna do is gonna hurt someone's feeling because that's that's really it yeah i'm i'm i'd like to hear more about this friend group that's mostly online what do you think that tells it sounds like there's a lot of drama around this which isn't necessarily good the fact that like all of these online friends and they're inviting some to the wet like it's one

thing to be like we have friends some are invited to the wedding somewhere that happens at weddings they're expensive they're hard to get to there's a pandemic but when you're keeping it secret from someone yeah that's a red flag that's not a position you want to be in they should weddings should be out in the open so if you feel bad enough that you didn't invite someone that you need to keep the wedding a secret i don't think that's a fair thing to do for you and your wedding you know yeah or you can invite them virtually sort of send them an oculus headset have a live stream and then she can sort of walk around the wedding as it were virtually almost like a ghost in the metaverse of sorts i really do want to follow up on this i need details i really need details

all right azi you heard him let us know i'll also reach out and ask specifically great uh okay if you have any of your own questions your own theme song send them all down to if i were you show at gmail.com name right uh who was that opening theme song again i already forgot he had a cool name and uh and instagram oh yes jcs jason it's jason sill from his uh a parody from his ep called homesickness right so check out jason sill a jacked trainer in brooklyn who was also a musician yeah damn me and him really have fucking huge muscles it's awesome you're jealous of everyone on this show it seems like that really you said you wanted to be the guy that retired early you say you wanted to be the jacked musician guy who's training people

that's actually another good thing that uh that dude is retiring could do um you could yeah certainly just get jacked that'd be a fun fun one uh all right no golden mic no turdy for this episode but i got the golden you got the turdy let's close this one out thanks everybody i'm honored humbled jeez it jumped i got the golden mic when i guessed abby on my second try wisdom teeth fragment sort of fly out of your mouth when you say that it seems like they just did not they didn't finish the job they went to sew up the hole and i skipped town i said fuck this i'm out you did the dfx what is it the dx to generation x suck it suck it yeah as we left the dental chair they didn't finish the job i don't tell you that's correct they want you to

come back they emailed the fire you show at gmail asking you to come back you didn't feel comfortable giving your actual email you're afraid of spam or something it didn't make sense because i paid with our company card so i needed to kind of keep it all under the same in the same bucket under the same umbrella as it were i spend a lot of cash on uh the company so uh speaking of company you can now watch this episode uh on our youtube channel there's an if iris show youtube channel you can watch these episodes we're gonna give that simulcast life a shot yes why not and also more videos on our patreon patreon.com slash j a so if you ever want more of us there's always more to be had there sure is uh all right take us away jason thanks for listening and we'll be back

next week bye spider was a gourd man wait a minute now if that's true wouldn't that make jake have a pumpkin that was a hit gum original