If I Were You - 527: Bad Hair

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

In this episode we talk about combing your hair, quitting a game, and rowing across an ocean.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum original. This is a headgum original. Can you hear whichopside of the gun is it pressing? I think that there is something wrong with the record screen. But I think this is probably the best and end up wrong when I play it here. And the RealS hungry rabbit is the victim of destruction. really cool really cool so me he was singing like thoughtfully and nice but he was saying like repeating ad nauseum that I deserve a shit that you should

get the dirty yeah the shit award the award for shittiness and podcasting we bequeath it on to you bro nice me and the faith degree that was a parody of course of teenage dirtbag by weedus yes great song if you could please plug my YouTube at David at EME cool at David at EME yeah guess how do you think you spell at EME a D I E M E close a D E Y E M I Wow that was not close yeah and his Instagram is David T at EME so if you'd like that song there's others on his YouTube and on his Instagram cool yeah great song also shout out to Drew he's behind on episodes right now so he'll probably hear this in a couple months and

if you ever open up a Chicago HQ I'm in video production and would love to work for you there we go that's awesome yeah we're were you in you weren't Chicago recently weren't I was I indeed I was did you have the the deep dish pizza hey that's not what people in Chicago sound like man that's like a it's like a bad New York Italian accent but you did it for Chicago that's a turdy that was so fast minute to wow amazing epic I think you've gotten it faster before I went to all Cheval in Chicago it was that it's like the best burger place I think in the world ever interesting according to me and some others might agree it's

definitely a top tier destination burger and are you it was insane are you familiar with this smash burger thing where it's like now burgers are smashed and flat and crispy and thin for is like when we were growing up it's like you want a fat juicy red burger yeah there were places called fat burger and now there's places yeah smash burger that's right yeah which do you prefer I mean I think there's a time there's a time and a place for both I like I like the kind of like small crispy burger as well but like in and out style yeah but I think I had my druthers and I needed to make a choice I like a big fluffy yeah and the

one in Chicago that is a fluffy burger you know it's not it's not like oversized it's appropriately sized it doesn't fall apart yeah and the meat is very very tender the cheese is incredible toasted bun yeah toasted brioche bun also get in a house thick cut bacon very thick cut bacon and some people do a cracked egg on it but I opt it not to because I wanted I wanted to taste just the burger and the bacon of course but I felt like the egg would have been maybe on another trip if I go back I think if I went back I probably wouldn't do bacon what he just said you love the bacon I did but I want to taste the

burger out it's thick yeah that was really good I mean I'd like to go back sides yes there were sides there were sides and I actually don't like we're not it feels like we're not having a conversation anyway it feels like now you're giving me the third degree you're angrily asking about the sides you seem dubious of the buns you seem upset that I said I wanted to try it without bacon and I don't like your attitude I don't like this line of questioning let's drop it was it anything more special than fries or is it like that's pretty much it the fries are what I got I think there might have been onion rings or something

I don't recall it really was about the burger and now I'm begging you to move on I'm on the website of this place it closed in 2018 they don't have burgers this is a pasta joint you got you got Chipotle yeah there's a picture of you on the tour I got a deep deep dish a bowl of Chipotle you got the what's the fake meat one called sofritas oh maybe yeah yeah and you didn't pay for the guac Jesus come on man I made them comp the guac all right what's uh what's new with you do we have to do it another weekly wordled deep dive I feel like we've sort of exhausted everything about that game at this point yeah I'm I think I've

decided today that I'm going for a two I just want to get a two I'm gonna keep on playing until I get a two and then I'm gonna retire because it's not worth it's not worth the stress that I feel it's not word the stress I don't look forward to it anymore I dread it what a complete cycle we've had I think a month ago I played it with you for the first time on this podcast you got into it fell out of love with it yeah I'm my family thread my sister texted one time I can't wait till tomorrow and now you're begging the wordled gods to get it and just yeah give me a two I need to I need to move on because it stresses me you when you

load up wordled.com's power language UK or whatever do you feel joy or do you feel apprehension I feel excitement that my first word is good enough to guide me towards a two or even a three I'd be happy with a three I've been on a string of fours and fives recently yeah so yeah I'm begging I'm begging of the wordled gods for a three at this point right I used to I I've been getting way too many fours way too many fours threes it used to be an average of like three and four and then it's now shifted to fours and five with an occasional three and it's not it's not it's not fun it's not fun yeah especially if you do the first

guess and it's just like gray gray gray yellow gray do something okay great now there's an R in it yesterday I heard two days ago my first guess all gray my second guess all gray except for one yellow R it was and I nailed it in three it was so stressful I was like oh my god I'm not gonna fucking get the wordle today well there is a fear that you lose yeah and if I think if you lose you should also stop playing right if you lose it the game should eliminate you kind of like HQ I don't know if I could ever like if I got a if I was on my sixth guess and I wasn't sure I might cheat I can't handle the X I couldn't I

couldn't I've still never gotten a six except for when when we played for my first time so it's not a public record that's pretty good how many games is that like 20 30 in a row that without getting a single six let me see I like how we said is there anything to talk about wordle I mean we talked about it all yeah it looks like I played 25 with seven threes 11 fours and seven fives wow 7 11 7 yeah it's a perfect four average it's the first time in your life you had a four oh great average very nice you should tell your dad that why dad I finally got a four that's not fun for me to say to him right I don't know I thought

because he's still no no he still thinks I'm a dumbass so I'd rather not prove it okay okay yeah okay actually you sent me some questions we should say this is if I were you the only advice show on the web hosted by us I'm a mere Josh you sent me a bunch of questions but now I see there's one in the unread called new guys pubes and I think we should just read this one sort of sight unseen that's yeah let's do it new guys pubes we'll call this lady Zoe Dishonel because she's a new guy that's nice I'm a 26 year old girl who recently started dating this guy and things are going pretty well so far the only issue is his pubes are a mess

it sounds like a manscape dad but I assure you it's not they're completely unattended to and they're making it so the whole genital region isn't visually appealing at all it's honestly to the point where I feel reluctant to go down on him which sucks wink because I love giving head wow how do I suggest to him that he gives his bush a trim to clean things up down there without hurting his feelings I feel like we'd been dating for a while if we'd been dating for a while this would be super easy but since this is a new relationship I don't know how to broach the subject thanks love Zoe I feel like you stumbled upon the

answer in the question right which is wait until you've been dating a while no which is no one is gonna feel like have their their feelings are hurt if after you say the hurtful thing you say I love giving head oh I see so they're like he'll hear that and be like I'll do anything you want right right near my body comes a zombie after that is my guess yeah because he doesn't want to lose that that sweet magical right sentence yeah if you were like cut off your ear I love giving head he'd be like fine yeah then go did it why not I yeah I also think that you I don't know like I feel like trimming pubes is more out of

laziness for guys than I actually like a preference I don't think that I'm like oh man no I prefer to be natural it just happens because I don't remember to like trim my pubes all the time right are you a trimmer are you like a bear bicker god no the trimmer loose trimmer yeah I don't get very hairy though like I don't have any chest here here video podcast one second oh subscribe to the video everybody your dick is such a little bean yeah that is a lot of hair by the way it only looks like a lot of hair because it's not a lot of dick I think you're talking about your chest hair Jesus man well yeah no I don't have any

chest here really anyway yeah yeah body hair really varies from guy to guy I'm I wonder if there's any ladies that that's a non-starter to be either hairless or super hairy yeah I mean a lot of people have hair preferences I don't it's never affected me either way I I don't care I mean some dudes that even have like hairy backs yeah is that was that fine for some that's got to be I wouldn't like that but then again I don't like you know I don't have a proclivity for men maybe if I did I would prefer the hairiest man yeah I think there are people that do there are people that like a hairy man there are

people that like a nary man there are people like this episode is brought to you by Nair there's there's a preference out there for everybody but for this person her preference is a trim proper nether region and this man does not have it so I think voicing your preferences completely fair to do and you don't again pure heart rule no expectation that this person has to do it but I do think you could have a reasonable level of hope that he will because the caveat is that you'll go down on him more which everybody likes oral sex at least what about what about the sponsored answer of giving him that gift giving him

that man scaped as like a anniversary anniversary slash valentine slash birthday something's coming up I just don't think you need to be that passive and it might even be weirder in a brand new relationship to give someone a gift no matter what it is if the relationship is so new that you're worried about even talking to him getting him a gift seems like more insane a gift specifically about shaving or any truly any gift at all but specifically is like more a gift to you yeah alright something to think about you didn't tell me if you what you do to your pubes I like to do figure eights

hmm so it's sort of like a landing strip of sorts that starts with my below belly button strip yeah that sort of coils in and around infinity slash taint that's right oh interesting so it's like it looks like it's an eight above your dick and an eight below your dick and you like your taint and ass area can yeah that's why they can the video here is at home see your taint I'm worried that like you too will flag it because it's like pretty it's pretty pornographic down there to see my entire nether region including my taint my anus right my belly button you just show us right now and then John Grimm who's editing

this video together can make the final call on whether or not to upload it he'll mosaic it but like not make it so it's like slightly grainy over my face that's a good bit that's a good bit for a comedy about a zoom or something like that that we can write yeah for the future like that so it's like yeah it takes place entirely over zoom so by the time it comes out people are sort of fatigued slash not interested in seeing it anymore yeah actually might do a zoom birthday this year so next January a zoom birthday that'd be yeah I hope different rooms I hope it's a really funny bit next year not a necessary

mandate yeah really could go either way but like goddamn to send to send out a zoom in like five years I hope is something that everybody is like oh that's so funny you could send one now for August hey guys just wanted to put this on your calendar save the zoom date I think we're gonna do like different rooms virtual cocktail hour dress up just in case you wanted to like rent or find a nice suit now for cuz it'll be hot in August in your house my god all right let's take a break yeah thanks for sponsors come back and answer more questions actually have another question about a girl complaining about a

guy's hair yeah it's perfect thank you to Helix sleep for sponsoring this episode of our show hell yes thank you for making the sleep test the sleep exam and letting me ace it and become the doctor of the mattress yes yeah so Helix makes a really great mattress line and you take a little sleep quiz to see what mattress is right for you mm-hmm yeah right Jake's been bragging about completing this two-minute honestly like Buzzfeed light quiz I don't sleep for the better part I do not I do not brag I don't brag about completing it I brag about acing it because you got the mattress and it was great or yeah I

got the perfect mattress thank God thank God I took that test that's right and if you want the perfect mattress you can go to helix sleep comm slash if I were you for 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows amazing free pillows come on yes this is their best offer yet and no it won't last long with Helix the better sleep starts now so regardless of how you sleep whether you like it soft medium or firm Helix is 20 unique mattresses just ready to go based on how you fill up that sleep preference and they'll send you the best one and if you go to helix sleep comm slash if I were you that's 20% off amazing thank you

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sponsoring this show and we're back Jake do you have any oh yeah you know what I actually I do I want to shout out some guy okay just any guy alright well no just it's not what about things not any guy yeah which guy were you gonna shout out there's this dude that like works at this coffee shop and he's always like pretty chatty with me and yes he doesn't know his name to shout him out I think it's like Brian or some shit what's the coffee shop it's a I don't want to say where it is because it's really close to my house and I don't want people like paparazzi posting up but it's very exclusive that's just say what

neighborhood it's in it's in it's on the east side good very good and I'm actually or I'm not allowed to go back no but dinosaur is a cool name for a coffee shop shout out dinosaur coffee I never go there so you can check that out it's a good spot there's this guy his name is on Instagram his name is Jacob mbp okay like that's man boy pig okay mbp so this is why I want to shout him out he's doing a solo row across the Atlantic Ocean okay has that ever been done yes and I'll tell you I'll tell you a brief story this really resonated with me because when I was little I don't actually even as in high school my dad

like found this folk singer that he really liked this dude from Massachusetts and the song that my dad really loved was was a song called the ballad of Harbaugh and Samuelson which is a folk song about the first two people to row across the Atlantic right and and I think there was a time actually that I was telling you about Harbaugh and Sam Samuelson because I wanted to write a movie about them right anyway it was like a year on a raft type situation yeah exactly where I wanted us to play Harbaugh and Samuelson but now we're too old to do it but yeah so the song is about these guys they're these like in

1900 or something a publisher maybe it's Hearst anyway some rich guy is like we'll give ten thousand dollars to whoever the first people to row across the Atlantic are and these two Norwegian guys living in Brooklyn never ever rode a boat before decide that they they're gonna do it and they did it and then no one else did it for almost a hundred years and yeah I think it seems hard because you have to row all day every day for months and then have enough food on your boat yeah so it's several months long I think in the song he says each day they would roll row 13 hours together and each night they took turns

getting four hours sleep I don't know how the math works out but it's something like that they just row non-stop one person goes to sleep while the other keeps rowing other guy wakes up pretty much torture and then how do they I wonder how they eat do you think they fish or you think they like brought enough beans I think they bring alive they bring provisions yeah there's not you can't you can't get it anywhere like on the way either you got to leave with all the food that you need that's right yeah the story of Harbaugh and Samuels and they actually capsized in the Atlantic at some point their food is

lost the water is lost they think they're gonna die and then a ship passes by a really meaningful beautiful part of the song everyone should listen to the ballot of Harbaugh and Samuels by Jerry Bryant okay so anyway yeah this is a big part of my life this this song and I saw on Instagram some some surfer that I follow from the UK shared this guy's story and then I was like oh my god this is crazy he's the fifth person to do it since you know Harbaugh and Samuels are the first two so I started following him then we started DMing he's a lovely guy wait the guy who's doing it right now you're DMing with him he's not doing it

now he's raising money to do it in 2023 and he's leaving from New York and I told him I'd send him off so I donated 50 quid to him so everyone else you go so many capsizes instantly do not want to step on my conscience but everyone should go to his Instagram and which is JacobMVP and support him on on this on his crowdfunder if you can because I do want to see him do it does he say we should almost have him on the show because I'm I have so many questions about how do you even like it seems like the amount of water you need to get from here to there in three months however long it is would weigh more than the boat yeah if you go

to his Instagram or his website you like he writes about the boat but I believe it's a 20 foot wooden rowboat called a Dory and he's a truck driver who's never done a long distance row before maybe you bring a boiler so you can just sort of drink seawater as you get it hmm that's interesting we should you should definitely ask him yeah I'll ask him if he wants to come on the show it's a brief little interview there's a photo of him in the boat it looks it looks very legit like this thing looks like he can't capsize it looks like a weird little pill submarine I mean I'm

sure you can definitely die so have you ever done like a rowing machine that thing like gasses you in like a few minutes like if you do some hardcore row and you're dead in 30 seconds right sometimes I will use the rower at the gym to like warm up I'll go five minutes on the rower and it's a lot so I imagine this is gonna be a little bit different than that yeah of course he's taking a paddle boat from New York to England is that where it is Portugal where's where's he ending up let's see all right well I hold on hold on hold on I also wonder if you're like steering you're like wait a minute I'm going to

north right now I have to go let me make a right or is it just like I can go straight forever I think there's like he's one of the things he's raising the money for is like satellite navigation and stuff on the boat which Harbaugh and Samuelson of course didn't have yeah I mean I guess you can have a compass at the very least a protractor yeah he should definitely have a protractor and it pierces the boiler we should outfit the boat for him cuz you're gonna want an iPad it's kind of boring you can watch season two of euphoria on there euphoria holler at euphoria if there's a day that you don't feel like rowing you could

binge the Witcher all right cool solid tip I might even know I might even follow myself actually good yeah I'll ask him ask him if I could send him out throw him a follow let us I can send ship him out really so he's because he's like it's sort of open to the most I thought we had a meaningful connection he said I'll do it because you're verified with 130 K awesome did you say you're gonna give him 130 K why is it so hard for you to type your tongue is hold on a second I keep fucking doing the thing where I like yeah shorter and shorter I'll dance you a freaking stomp man I can't concentrate without biting off and into my

freaking you've ruined your voice for podcast it's fine it's fine that's it really fine I don't know why my pitch also changed when I lost my tongue interesting okay here's that question that we were gonna answer about the hair the bad hair we went from bad pubes to bad hair on a guy another lady I believe we'll call this lady bad tilde okay like I'm a tilde but bad here's the sitch I recently started seeing this guy who I met at work we've gone out a couple times and he seems to be going well we have a lot of the same interest good conversations and I actually like his original guitar music here's the problem

he has really bad hair it's long ish and bunchy and generally unstyled I think it's legitimately holding me back from being excited about him as I don't have the usual butterflies despite all the attractive qualities should I talk to him about it it seems way too harsh to tell him to cut his hair after only two dates but doesn't he deserve to know that he could be ruining his chances with not only me but the dating population at large I'm 22 he's 24 and I do think he's a good-looking guy if the hair is out of the picture any insight would be appreciated thank you wow same problem maybe there's a business opportunity here

ladies hire us to tell your man to cut his hair right and they don't know who it came from but it's anonymous come from yeah that's really cool tell your significant other something that you're afraid to tell them through us yeah hello this is a service you don't know me and I don't know you but you have to cut your pews in your hair basically like anyone that's it's almost like a free service we don't even have to do it that you just need some kind of like voice changer in a way yes but I guess it would be obvious who it's coming from to because if this guy is only dating this one person I like this as a business

idea we should almost do it as a podcast segment we call it the bearer of bad news or the bearer of better news because the better news is that you'll be dating someone or you'll get more dome after that school while you address this not necessarily in this one this one right yeah this one this one's a little trickier and actually I have the opposite advice the first one I say tell him about it tell him everything he pews and this one I say don't tell him about it yeah not yet because it's too early too early too early it's actually tacky I I understand long ish and I get generally unstyled but what do you think she

means by bunchy bunchy bunchy like what could that maybe like curls that aren't getting teased yeah like greasy greasy almost where it like sticks together in certain or yeah maybe kind of like bedhead where like you have just like a you know a mound up on one one end yeah but it's not cool now like disheveled guys hair is like it seems like that's also cool I don't know I guess it could be I think you could inch your way along on this one like rather than suggesting a full overhaul you're just like oh we should style your hair like this like oh like what have you tried sweeping your hair back you know you

run your hands through his hair like oh your hair looks so good like this and it's just a little different it's not get a haircut it's just wear it this way that's step one but it's hard to suggest that so early yet and even all almost at all like when you grow your hair long mm-hmm you've often said that Jill doesn't necessarily love it but it's doesn't want to tell you that and you guys yeah they're for longer than a month I think right yeah I but I think it almost gets and that's just not her nature so there's a there's an argument to be made that like if this is your nature if you do like to metal and the

appearance maybe there is something to be said with getting it out of the way out front because if he doesn't like that then you'll know this relationship is doomed yeah but I'm just trying to think about like who I know that has longish bunchy generally unstyled I mean it's almost us yeah we almost have longish bunchy and I guess yours is more styled than mine why is that sound at all well you like sort of I run my hand through it a lot but that's kind of it yeah there's another there's bad hair like decision and then there's bad hair genetics like mm-hmm thinning hair that a guy is keeping for no reason is

different than a lot of hair that's styled poorly yeah and one of those things is easier solved than the other yeah you can't grow hair but you can sort of shape hair in a different way yeah but if your hair is that I mean there's an easy solution for both I think the shaved head beard is a very solid look yeah hey this is a difficult situation I was actually I found myself in something similar recently with my dad he got a pretty ugly haircut last really I had to impose I had to let him know I had to tell him that your dad is so sharp he's so much more stylish than you are he's better looking

better dressed better educated does better financially shorter yeah and he's side he's embedded he's in better shape than you are he looks stronger he has more energy he's actually peaking and you're bottoming out well that's actually your dad has it all when I said that to him he punched me in my fucking it was such a direct hit to my collar on that a crash because your dad is doing jiu-jitsu yes he's doing a lot yes he's doing a lot with his life and I think he really resented the haircut thing and he he literally my mom held my fucking arms back and he cracked my what is this called clavicle so it didn't happen that fast it

sounds like your mom held you back yeah she held my hands behind my chair and like in this weird like it was a weird why did you say it while you're sitting in a chair we're at lunch we're out to lunch and I said I have something to say about your hair and my mom got up as if she was like giving us our space but she then she ducked behind my chair and your dad sucker punched you yeah she called them Italian handcuffs have you ever heard that like phrase before doesn't make sense no way but like she was using one hand to hold my wrists together really thin there are thin wrists yeah and the bones of them you're really weak

you're really yeah and you have bad hair and your hair looks really bad you've got a bad haircut so I think you're projecting on to your parents your mom was able to hold you behind a chair with a single hand that's that's a low point that's a bad place to be blew it felt oh no but at least my hair is not bunchy this is is it take a man's game but take the lawn mower to your dome that's the only way to fix it I'm afraid of getting a haircut oh McCron style right yeah yeah okay let's take another break thanks for sponsors and come back with more questions on the other side of these messages sick thank you to aura frames

for sponsoring this headgum podcast you know aura frames is sponsoring not just this episode but the entire headgum network Jake wow that's correct I mean this might be the goat father's day gift I think it actually is yeah yeah not just father's day but if for any not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon mm-hmm these digital photo frames might be the best of all time yeah for me personally these things are perfect I'll tell you why as you know I am expecting yeah my first child we got one for Jill's parents oh wow we got one for Jill's grandma holy smokes we got one for my parents so there are three

these bad boys in our family right now but they are they're great really easy way to like stay in touch with your family you can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen it's really nice oh that's cool so you take a photo of anything perhaps a baby and then it goes to their digital photo yeah frame this is actually how we how we told Jill's grandma she was pregnant we got her the aura frame we plugged it in Jill's grandma was pregnant really nice asshole this was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife and you're trying to make a joke of it I was just being goofy a little bit like this

is how I told my grandma she was pregnant yeah yeah kind of like a she misheard it or something like that or the way you said it was kind of like could go either way by the way Jill's Jill's grandma is pregnant oh my god Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant it's pretty cool and you told me with a digital photo frame holy smokes and we let her know with an aura yeah thank you the aura announcement so you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the aura app add me to your aura app I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something that could

be funny yeah like your banana or your dog alongside pictures of my daughter yeah yeah exactly even preload photos and add a personal video message that will display as soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame yeah it's a great gift a really really iconic gift and right now you can save on the perfect Father's Day gift and visit aura frames that's a u r a frames dot com mm-hmm and our listeners can use code head gum to get up to $30 off plus free shipping on the best-selling frames there it is oh wow this is timely the deal ends on June 18th so don't wait terms and conditions apply that's aura frames a

u r a frames dot com okay go get your parents something all right and use the code head gum for $30 off plus free shipping thank you aura and now back to the headgum podcast you were listening to this show is sponsored by better help thank you better help if you're finding yourself in a difficult anxious stressful situation talking to a professional licensed therapist is the best way to navigate yourself out of that difficult place and it's not necessarily easy to find a therapist especially one in your area but better help makes that all easy because it's online therapy designed to be convenient

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not paying rent for a building somewhere that you have to drive to and wait in a waiting room this is done entirely online but you're still getting professional licensed help and it's extra affordable that's better help HELP comm slash if I were you check them out thanks better help and we are back yet again we got one final question to rule them all great this one's from a Canadian who wants to go by a different name yes so let's call this guy J.E. Skeets who's our Canadian friend who goes by a different name than his birth name love it he was able to do it let's see if we can help this guy out

Skeets writes when I was in college I had to find an internship at a place related to my industry as a film major I had to apply to a bunch of places with a resume and whenever I use my resume I use my full name I do this because it makes for a more even distribution of letters when I went in for my first interview I forgot to introduce myself as I guess we can just say this guy's name it's not that terrible I forgot to introduce myself as Leo so they just went with my full name Leonard I didn't think much of it because I didn't think I'd talk to these people for longer than two months years after I finished my

internship I ended up getting a job at this place and I still don't have the courage to tell them my preferred name and now I'm on the board of directors and I've known these people for ten years I don't mind that they call me by my preferred name I just wonder if I can pivot in this situation I humbly accept the turtie alongside Amir for my decade of cowardice yours Leo PS come to Ontario Canada with the whole HG crew you got to see the picture I drew of Murph oh wow I would love to see that and he looks real good okay yeah we are we're due back in Ontario yeah it's God it's so funny that ten years and your

co-workers have not shortened your name they absolutely just need to be called Leonard Leonard why don't you why don't you just say your you thought of this name change now now that they've been wrong for ten years you can say like I think I'm gonna try Leo how random is that I'm gonna I feel yeah you just be like oh call me Leo no no explanation at all the problem is like you're doing Leonard yeah I'm fine I'm fine if you set that at a headgum meeting it's like actually I go by Jacob now everyone would be like nah yeah you know no well actually I don't think that's true I think you would say I don't maybe Marty

would but I think everyone else at the company would actually respectfully start calling me Jacob yeah I would double down sort of call you Jake Moore start calling me Jakey but I think headgum used to be me you and Marty and now there's like 20 ish other people that are normal professionals oh I see and so they would actually listen to you and respect your wishes yeah I mean half of the people I haven't met in person so if I like they'd have made an announcement it would be so weird for them they haven't known me for longer than a few months yeah so it's not that weird or it could be a Jeffrey Jeff situation where

you're fine with both right I mean Jeff started going by Rodney at one point this has happened you and I changed our names all the time I introduced myself today as Josh yeah yeah you use Josh more than Jake at this point you're trying to do this with Josh when I climb with my brother and Carnell and I for some reason for such a lot I always my nickname for my brother Micah is Michael and and my nickname for Michael Carnell is Mikey so it's just like it's so confusing you got it Michael and Josh and Michael that's what Jake and Micah are called yeah Jake and Micah are become Josh and Michael I think you could

also just start signing your emails Leo because it is weird to have these conversations and to make an announcement but I think you slowly but surely go start you know sign best Leo and then everyone's like oh does he go by Leo like maybe go by Leo I'll try it out interesting and it's gonna happen over time a digital thing first you go for email maybe your slack name mm-hmm yeah right where and like your business card basically wherever you can just write your name without actually having to correct anyone or tell them that you go by something new they'll just see Leo and it's gonna start happening and now

when any any I don't know what kind of turnover you have at your company but when anybody joins you introduce yourself as Leo is Leo always short for Leonard I never thought of that or Leonardo I mean you can go Leo just straight you don't have to name him Leonard and then have it be shortened yeah you can do anything you want anything you want that's awesome I think I'll go Leo L why oh so yeah a lion or that's cool yeah so that way prevents this future situation you know where my child is working in some sort of future office and he actually will be a coward he actually will be a coward for

a decade so that he actually doesn't speak up for himself because that's the level of poindexter I'm gonna be raising right I could see you being kind of a bad dad I was just like I was gonna say your mom held your wrists and your dad punched you in the neck this week so I feel like that kind of like trickles down for sure for sure for sure for sure that's not like regular trauma basically yeah all right anything else you want to discuss before we get the hell out of here um no you know what's your it's Tuesday what's your week look like man it's pretty relaxed actually working from home mostly trying to like

get to the other side I think the the cases in LA are dwindling down to the point where in like a week or two it's gonna feel like summer all over again nobody's gonna even be thinking about this shit anymore what yeah the cases in New York are back to where they were pre Omicron yeah does that mean no masks indoors or is still you still got a mask up indoors no everybody kind of still has a the mentality that it's Omicron still that's not there's some kind of like delay with the information or some like holdover apprehension from you know the trauma of Omicron yeah and that's probably fine you know to keep

the numbers low so ultimately that's good I would say good it's a fine in California they're saying you don't need to wear a mask and then LA is like actually here you still do right yeah it seems like nobody actually like the governors in New Jersey and Connecticut are ending the mask mandate in school but then being like and now we'll let the cities decide or like the school like so you're no one's fucking there's not anybody that ever really has like power they're sort of just giving other people like and ultimately it's my decision to do with what I want to do like right there's California says you

don't have to LA that says you do and then I have to make the decision and I'm always gonna just probably opt to wear a mask anyway right would you but you couldn't make the decision to not yeah that's not something you could do I guess I should say my decision is always to wear a mask and that's gonna happen whether the city requires it right yeah yeah yeah that makes sense so it's nice that the city is forcing everyone else to do exactly what I want to do you love the mask somebody stop me nice from the mask yeah okay thanks for listening thanks for watching we should say as well you can watch us on our

YouTube channel if I were you if I were you show damn right and more videos of us on our patreon patreon.com slash j a and you can email your questions and theme songs to if I were you show at gmail.com that's everything that's all a lot of stuff appreciate you guys for sticking with us through thick and thin this is our last episode we should say well but it's been a wild wild ride you're springing this on me as well oh yeah I'm so sorry I would have done the episode differently I thought I thought I said that no you hadn't mentioned it but it makes sense I just wish I had somebody stop me and somebody did a lot

of like and I'm stuff and I feel like would have been yeah it should have been like a bigger hoopla yeah I would have done like a world for sure for sure like that yeah should we end with the themes oh yeah the teenage dirtbag for the last step last step that's insane namaste amazing bit if we never did another episode only we had the courage instead we're like a fucking Leo we'll keep going for 10 extra years too afraid to cancel ourselves the two letters all right see you guys next week everybody bye there's a wall jake to write this wrong

but what if jake is right what has me done for the spotlight he always deserves to get that turdy he always deserves to get that turdy jake gets the mark and me should get the turdy oh yeah get that oh you should always get the turdy oh yeah get that oh you should always get the turdy that was a hit gum original