If I Were You - 54: Rap Love

Episode Date: January 20, 2014

In this episode we discuss hip-hop, haters, and taking somebody back.This episode is brought to you by NatureBox! Deliciously affordable snacks delivered to your home for just $20 a month! And for now you can click here for 50% off your first box: http://bit.ly/1idZxFpSee omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

start it from the bottom now we here if i were you show it jake and amir yeah we started from the bottom now we here two of them a week podcast of the year yeah we started from the bottom now we here if i were you show it jake and amir yeah we started from the bottom now we here two of them a week podcast of the year yeah jake doesn't have his own home living at his mama crib texting on his phone saying mommy mommy I just need some cash she threw him the keys and he never brought it back and Amir was a really late bloomer always playing golden I stuck on his computer man I just think it's funny how it goes to white

dudes with an internet show and they started from the bottom now we here if I were you show it jake and amir yeah we started from the bottom now we here two of them a week podcast of the year yeah did you like that I liked it a lot you like Drake uh-huh yeah here's a line I would have added I use every single mic even when I'm in the cave cuz we started from the bottom now we started from the cave now I don't know I would love to collaborate with you sir that's Riley Deacon who made that it kind of sounds like Drake yeah Riley do you want to let's do one for worse behavior too what's that one worst motherfuckers never

loved us came up that's all me oh yeah you like all me I only know two or three Drake songs you know all the Drake songs yeah yeah all me for real no help that's all me what a mean thing to say in a song that someone else wrote maybe for you he did he wrote it somebody else made the beat still yeah I know he got help for sure I mean other ones of his songs like he talks about like thank you there's a song on his other and I'm take care that's like all about like thank you to his mom and uncle for like helping him when he was struggling yeah where was that when it's all I don't know it's not really about like it's the

sentiment is it's just sort of a dope song you know I get to take it it's I don't know he's just doing a bit take it with a drink of salt is what you're saying yeah yeah anyway this is if I were you the only advice podcast on the internet hosted by us I'm Amir and I'm Drake the transformation is complete I'm finally Drake now is Drake's real name Drake his real name is Aubrey Drake Graham he really turned that nerdy name into like a cool thing like Drake is a nerdy name anymore yeah just cuz he's Drake Drake yeah if somebody else's name Drake it would be nerdy with Kendrick Lamar oh yeah Kendrick like to

the most popular rappers now are named Kendrick and Drake everyone is like Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre yeah Tupac now it's Kendrick and Drake Melvin the Rapsmith Lionel yeah Mel and Sean Big Sean Sean Sean nonetheless Sean Drake Sean and Kendrick the world's best rappers hello gents I have a song that I think will really float your boat it's about me at my dick being as large as an Eiffel Tower hit it fellas was that Kendrick Lamar that's Kendrick yeah he says all my life I want money and power respect my mind will die from lead shout I hope that one day my dick be as big as the Eiffel Tower so I can fuck

the world for 72 hours god damn I got bitches damn I got bitches by the way that's not how fucking works right if your dick is bigger you can't fuck girls for longer right you also have to I suppose as big as the Eiffel Tower though it definitely prohibit you from fucking anybody well the world I feel like in terms like the Earth's crust and the size of the world all in all relative to the Eiffel Tower that's a tiny dick yeah it's a drop like nothing yeah talking about penetrating the earth yeah it should have been like as big as the the O'Burge Dubai Tower yeah or like the moon yeah I could like fuck

the earth and feel like it was being filled up I guess the moon but an oblong instead of a sphere right yeah I don't know I wish his dick was that big anyway so that's how big I wish my dick were I think that's also like that's a little telling he's basically shouting from the rooftops that he's got a tiny dick right now well not tiny I wish it in the Eiffel Tower do but now we all know his dick is smaller than the Eiffel Tower I never said Jack shit about the size of my dick on this podcast and that's why everybody assumes it's around the size of the Eiffel Tower yeah 310 meters tall that might not be true so how does this

show work well we dissect wrap for about four minutes you got that then we explain how it works which is now then we take people's emails if I were you show at gmail.com people who find themselves in difficult places in their lives and they need some advice so they come to us and we do our best to guide them out of it sometimes it works sometimes it does it hopefully it's always entertaining did I miss anything I think you added one one cents too much how dare you sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't but hopefully it's entertaining that's just that should just come through hopefully it's

entertaining yeah we don't have to say hopefully it's entertaining let's just launch into it and we'll hope internally that it's entertaining you're a Tuesday morning quarterback you do nothing and then you critique yeah yeah Tuesday morning quarterback also also known as a coach pretty important part of the football team tell you what yeah I review the tapes and I critique my players I'm the offensive coordinator certainly they can't play football but you know they sure as all know what it is they know it goes into it get how it works they know what makes better players motherfuckers never loved us what's

that that's the worst behavior Merse all right should we get started yeah well I don't for this theme will give people fake rap names oh great so this first question real question from real people but we're gonna give them fake names to preserve their anonymity and this person is named two chains two chains writes hey dudes I'm a college freshman currently trying to make long distance work with my first serious girlfriend she's having a harder time than me dealing with long distance and broke up with me two months ago I took the breakup very hard and barely left my

room for weeks a month later she came back to me crying and begged for me to take her back I did but later found out that she'd made out with four guys and blown two of them during our break even though we weren't together at the time I can't help but feel like I was cheated on will things get better or should I bail got a lot of responses to this question really a lot of responses okay number one I'll say you weren't cheated on so stop feeling like that but he was cheated on light diet cheated on this is not you there's cheated on which is Coca-Cola classic and this is cheated on was he cheated on because she felt bad

to cheat on him so she took a one-month break it's not a break they broke up well she didn't say I need to I need a break I need to figure myself out then she made out with four guys blew two of them which is a very specific number that he knows and then she's she was very specific I feel like if you had said she'd blown two guys I would have assumed that they made out to yeah this foreign is the four make out include the two blows yeah or guys total two of them blown as well I think four guys total all of them got French kisses two of them got French blowjobs what's French blowjob French kiss on your penis instead of

pecking the penis the French how the French do it so yeah I mean like if you don't want to cheat on someone a good way to do it is like to break up with them for a month get all your wild oats sewn in about a month or two blow a couple dudes you're this is not come back this is not fair why you're you're small minded closed minded and absent minded so you're saying this girl's this wasn't this girl's plan all along I think I mean not not necessarily she broke up with him maybe she wanted to be with other people maybe that was one of the reasons you broke up but then she had two months and she realized those other people

weren't as satisfying as this guy so she came back so do you think this guy should take her back well here's my problem with it unfortunately this guy didn't also have the same he didn't have the same experience as his ex now he had the opposite where he was just heartbroken so he's gonna feel slighted that he was like sitting in his bed crying super bummed now he's just thinking like yeah so that day that I like watched nine hours of TV jerked off four times and like didn't eat any food she was sucking some a dick that day well maybe not two guys out of 60 there's just a one and

30 chance that she was you know I sing a D that day yeah yeah with that math there's a 100% chance that that dude getting blown wasn't you oh I'm very nervous relax a little bit I will really I know I try not to pull any punches I'm not about to start today at the same time you don't have to keep going alright that is true but if they stifle I come out swinging I'm not gonna hold back absolutely if I duck take it easy on me I'm very fragile

the problem is I never come out you're a loser dude sorry shit uh wow that was accidental no it was not I see a post-it note on your palm that says you're a loser dude just talking to myself

say it in the third round and he'll go down alright so yeah I think he wasn't cheated on I think that he wasn't even diet cheated on I think that like this girl just didn't want to be with him for maybe a multitude of reasons maybe one of the reasons was that she wanted to be with other people which is a valid reason to break up with someone she broke up did did what she did she didn't have a boyfriend that's fine

that's legal that's okay yeah and now she came back he found out that she blew two guys but and that's that knowledge just sucks to have yeah I think it's up to you if you can if you can live with it or if you're gonna enter for it and you're gonna have a bad relationship if you have a bad relationship you'll be able to forget this you'll be able to move past it then don't take her back and just say hey I'm sorry I know you did your thing and I don't hate you for it but I can't at the same time I

can't be in a relationship where I where I harbor any yeah bad feelings for you I mean taking her back at this point I think would be the weakest move ever for two months she'll just have that huge thing lording over you like I was bad for two months when we were apart you blew two guys and now we're back together how do you ever get over that fact I don't know that's not necessarily lording anything over him but she has total she has the mental advantage from here on out well that's the thing you can get past it in your mind well who well who's to say

that she's not gonna break up in another year one another break blow two other guys French for more and then come back that's more valid that is more valid but I think I think he just because he she blew two people doesn't make her worthy of coming back yeah but I wouldn't recommend if I were you I would not take her back I think you just put too much weight into sex well I'm not not necessarily that I'm just a very small proud judgmental dude

so someone you loved said broke up with broke up with you yeah just blew two dude yeah and she came back and said you know what I I sucked two dicks but I didn't I didn't like fall in love with their families I didn't make them laugh I didn't think about them like in the middle of the night and wonder how their jobs were going and like want to connect with you on every possible level or want to connect with them on every possible level you would say you know what you had another dick in your mouth so we're done yeah I would say

why don't you go talk to the two guys that you blew I suggest not doing it with your mouth full sweetheart God I just think people are so much more multifaceted than just blowjobs I'm a black and white guy that's ridiculous all right so the advice my advice is to search within yourself and decide if you can actually be in a relationship without harboring any resentment it sounds like a mirror is the kind of person who can't kick that bitch to the cab yo what trick song is that

I don't think that is one you know what when someone breaks up with you you don't get a lot of opportunities to then turn the tables on them and break up with them the fact that she wants to come back is a blessing because you get to tell her no or sorry she already can't come back she already came back crying I moved on actually you you hurt me and I don't want you to do that again and you don't get you don't have the right to do that again all right then you're like go as another D then you're so proud that you're like you're so proud that you're doing yourself a disservice absolutely

that makes me I will die a proud alone loser before I take this girl back this year this question two chains takes oh god I made a terrible mistake a old question alert next question yeah next question I need a Rapsmith name a local Rapseter a Rapseter sir yeah ASAP Rocky ASAP Rocky ASAP where is that is that short for as soon as possible Richard yeah what's what's his famous song is that the song goes he sings or I mean he he's a fucking problems though that's also you know a

lot of bad bitches a problem yeah that's on his album though Drake and Kendrick are also on it he does wow for the night oh yeah that's actually him playing the kazoo yeah that's what he means by wild for the night wild for the night yeah all right that's all back back back back back back back back back back back ASAP writes hey dudes first time caller long-time baller JK I suck at basketball about two months ago I broke up with my girlfriend in an extremely kind and caring manner so that I wouldn't hurt her feelings I thought things ended amicably but new evidence points to the contrary for about the past month my ex

has been putting me on a tri-weekly blast via Twitter her sub tweets which are definitely about me are an insult to my character she persistently claims that I am fake and these tweets fill me with a white hot rage should I tell her that the real reason I broke up with her was because she was very plain below average intelligence and not talented at anything when adding up the pros and cons of breaking up the only pro for staying with her was her exceptional sexual abilities be my moral compass love ASAP fuck yo dreams ah shit that's some it's interesting because if he tells her the truth then

it just does come out that he was fake the entire time it's a self-fulfilling prophecy try weekly blast is not how you want to live your life right but at the same time you don't want to stoop to her level I think the best thing what I would do the best thing that he can do is to ignore it that puts you above her as soon as you get into that Twitter battle with her she's dragging you down yeah she you're on her level living well is the best revenge yeah that's what they say hate is gonna hate you don't want to fight blast with blast yeah that's it's all you can do once you've been once you've been put on blast you really just have

to you have to you have to hold your head high and say you know what I know in my heart of hearts that I didn't deserve this blast yeah least of all try weekly to be sure that is that is excessive unfair and unwarranted I don't deserve these try weekly blasts instead try a weekly blast that way I'm only getting blasted once a week try a weekly blast how about try a week blast so well I mean in general if you were to zoom out of this specific example the best way to really piss off somebody who's like yelling at you and trying to piss you off trying to get your attention is to ignore them that's how they go

away right like if I made a diss track to a popular rapper he's not gonna get down there and respond to me but if like a big boy starts dissing him then you only want to respond to people who are bigger than you yeah yeah interesting like we get tweets and hate mail all the time not all the time well not all the time but a couple I would say try weekly you think I'm put on a try weekly blast yeah I'd say I guess like I but I that's that's what you always do you just you ignore your haters yeah you respond to positivity that's it that's all you got to do and I think yeah the rap the rap the rap feud

equivalent I think we have to we can't get swept up in that the way Kendrick and Drake have you know we already lost too many fallen soldiers guys we can't all right be big you know what yeah I honestly every time every time I find any any bit of success I thank my haters why y'all make me stronger why this podcast this one right here this was for my haters wait which was for my haters today this is for my haters episode yeah so that's nature box and nature box yo thank you for the money and guess what haters y'all still listen to my podcast and I'm still getting mad scrilla three snacks from nature box I am

rich as fuck off this podcast understand and I owe every single dollar to my haters because you push me you push me to leave you in the goddamn dust so thanks for hating keep it up baby so you would say this episode is brought to nature box and your haters nature box and my haters my entire career my entire life is brought to you by my haters really huh so it's sponsored by your haters I feed off that hate dude it inspires me it inspires me you just said you're barely getting any hate or a I know I have to dig deep but I get it I'm packed sometimes I act like an asshole in public just so that the haters

just come calling out of the water give it to me give it to me I'll tweet some like pretty off-color shit about not being like not wanting to give to charity and people start like hating on me and that makes me stronger yeah like I'll push people in public you asshole you backwards man so anyway the advice for this man is to ignore the hate stay above it yeah that's that's us being your moral compass anything else yeah no that's it Jesus alright cheers on chow actually chow chow and cheese you know I started saying chow I started to say chow no I started about two months ago I used to say it as a joke to

like you know make fun of me like I just think it's a funny goofy thing to say yeah chow like I would say cheers and then I would say chow like alright cheers chow alright yes yes yes good to speak with you and then cheers and chow cheers I say yes all right thank you this is a nice conversation cheers chow I bid you a do and that's like sort of my old exit to a conversation and but now I've started so genuine that I say chow I can't stop myself I just actually say it um it's yeah like I say it to the well friends and family I don't often have like conversations with strangers where I need to like say goodbye yeah but yeah chow

chow like ridiculous you know what it means you know what it is and I'm saying it chow chow 2014 the year of chow chow it's time to shine alright let's move on okay got a third Rapsmith Lil Wayne who Lil Wayne Lil Wayne Lil Lil Lil Lil L.I. Apostrophe L dude actually it's just L.I.L. Wayne it doesn't matter it's not little alright what's his famous song oh man yes yes so many like a lollipop I don't think I like Lil Wayne what yes you do is I got that good cushion yeah I know that one I got some damn you fuck about those haters man oh he doesn't give a fuck yeah yeah he's the same way as you he doesn't give a fuck about his

haters as long as my bitches love me yeah that song has the funniest line in it oh he says it's so sweet he's like talking about a girl he's like she says baby I don't make you mad I just want to make you proud I said girl just make me come and then don't make a sound that you think is sweet I think it no I think the girls being sweet it's like I don't want to make you mad I just want to make you proud and his response is baby just make me come then don't make a sound that's okay that's okay to be part of pop culture Lil Wayne has that line that you like R.I.P. Rest in Pussy oh yeah that's funny Lil Wayne is hilarious I

one point he's just in the middle of a song he goes R.I.P. Rest in Pussy Pussy taste just like heaven on earth R.I.P. Rest in Pussy how is this okay to be on the radio like we're so like as a society very uptight and like prude like well let's not put any boobs on TV we can't swear but then yeah sometimes on the radio guy will just be like I just want to make you proud so make me come and don't make a sound I don't think I don't think they play that we're listening to that song on my Spotify usually but they probably play it on the radio with like that one word guy I guess that's true it's like girl just

make me and don't make a sound everyone knows what it is I feel a heartbeat I'm chest to chest with this bitch now turn around face down I'm arresting this bitch that's Lil Wayne too yeah it's dope it's the same song so like his thing is sort of that he likes coming and bitches don't make a sound right what he's his hates are haters and yeah I guess that's basically it he loves bitches and hates haters yeah and he likes syrup there should be baseball cards for rappers that you can see like his likes right like how much Lil Wayne likes ass how much he likes pussy how much he likes weed how much he likes cars cuz

I don't think he likes cars very much but I know he loves pussy yeah I think about Drake what would his likes and dislikes be Drake sort of like I feel like most of his songs are about being number one yeah he likes he likes pussy but in sort of a more remorseful way than Lil Wayne he like Drake has some guilt to him isn't there a line about like I don't even know how much I have yeah I forgot it's a lot fuck that never mind what I got came up that's all me yeah I like saying never mind in a song like you wrote the first part you can just delete it yeah fuck it never mind what I got well that's Drake man show me that

real shit yeah that good cushion alcohol alright this show is sponsored by better help thank you better help if you're finding yourself in a difficult anxious stressful situation talking to a professional licensed therapist is the best way to navigate yourself out of that difficult place and it's not necessarily easy to find a therapist especially one in your area but better help makes that all easy because it's online therapy designed to be convenient flexible and suitable to your schedule you just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at

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professional licensed help and it's extra affordable that's better help HELP.com slash if I were you check them out thanks better help thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show wow for years and years and years we've been ranting and raving about Squarespace because it's the best way for dummies like me and potentially you that don't necessarily know how to code or design to create a professional looking website so if you're building an online portfolio for yourself or a loved one or you want to sell stuff online you can do an online store they have 24 7 live customer

support email campaigns data you can even purchase a domain name through Squarespace for example I didn't even look this up but there's no way you can't buy a mere Blumenfeld is a good dude.com I bet that's available and you can have it today and you can buy it through Squarespace and build an awesome website dedicated to me or I guess dedicated to anyone else in your life maybe you want to give somebody a gift this season a summer birthday coming up who doesn't want a website so the best way to do that is to go to Squarespace.com slash if I were you for a free trial and when you're ready to launch just use

that offer code if I were you to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain again Squarespace.com slash if I were you free trial everything looks good let's launch it just use that offer code if I were you to save 10% off that first purchase thank you Squarespace. Third question hey guys here's oh this is a female can we get a female name Nicki Minaj Nicki Minaj she's a rapper not a pop star she's both both yeah you ever hear her rap yeah I guess so gotta get a beach beach they gotta wait hey hey hey hey I guess that is rap

she had a female rappers rap about if not fucking bitches cars and money I was just yeah Nicki Minaj has a great song with Drake and it's she Nicki Minaj talks about like how wet her pussy gets and like how good she is it's excellent that's what Lil Kim used to rap about too so she raps about fucking guys yeah one of her lines in that song is like and I always ride slow when I'm straddle in and my shit so wet you gotta paddle in Jesus Christ row your boat row your boat yeah it's great good shit good song

alright Lil Kim writes no not Lil Kim oh shit Nicki Minaj Lil Kim's in jail we're not giving her anything she's a fucking felon she doesn't deserve this alright Nicki Minaj writes hey guys my boyfriend and I have been dating for about four months we're both 24 and I think this is the real deal he's wonderful smart caring and it's close to perfect as someone can get we got along very well and have yet to get into an argument and I'm pretty confident that this is the relationship that will last a long long time now for the question we haven't said I love you yet for my understanding the

general rule of thumb is that the guy says it first but I often find myself holding back from saying it with him I really think I love him and I kind of just want to yell it from the rooftops but I also don't want to rush saying it what do you guys think should I say it should I wait for him to say it first thanks Nicki Minaj shit real question yeah I don't know what are you that's the answer yeah yeah I don't know shit I don't know Nicki this is a hard one because you don't have too much experience in this because there's only so many people you can love it's not like a hooking up question yeah it's sort of

like the question we had a week or two ago where the payment the yeah who pays on a date like it is like I feel like it is one of those rules of society that the man says I love you first but it should be okay for the girl to the girl to do it you think four months is roughly the range the Sadie Hawkins love what do you think is a good range of like saying I love you four to eight months in um yeah I'm trying to think back on like my past experience I think it's like usually you for you it's like within the first three weeks well I know within the first second but I don't but I hold and I hold back for as long as possible like a

week and a half I know I think like three I feel like three to four months is a nice range because yeah then I mean it is good it's good to have that like those couple months where you're just like I have a crush on you I like you it's so playful and nice and I feel like that's probably the time when like the love is actually most intense and then you like a couple months later you acknowledge it like hey this is a I actually love you and I maybe did for a couple maybe I did well here's the the thing that I can see is like the first two to three months it might not be love it might just be this intense physical crush that you

have infatuation yeah it's like this exciting new feeling that may sort of be love but might just be like love's cousin or something diet love lust or something you're just like so into the person because it's new and fresh and exciting right maybe you should wait for that to die down get into this note that the plateau of the normal phase and if you still like the person maybe that's what the love is yeah but I feel you always want to be taking like you want to be like growing not plateauing just like up up up up that does rhyme but you can't keep that growing not plateauing yo this bitch she'd be knowing

showing ever growing not plateauing it's a sewing sewing sewing sewing your wild because we flowing and I'm going where this Boeing is wow way to reference Boeing yeah this episode is brought to you by major box my haters and Boeing check out the new 757 s class don't forget to use the words Jake and Amir as you're boarding to to be detained by the TSA upgraded to business class select I what are we talking about oh you can't yeah you can't keep that rate of growing that you have in the first three months that's impossible you can't keep that up right I think there's like I think there's something that the first three

months that I think that is love I feel like love is so it has many many different forms and there's that's definitely one of them that way where you're finding everything out about somebody and it's super exciting and like you don't feel that intense again in the relationship you know so you're saying that's also love or that is what I think that's a version of love I think that like you can make it more real later on by like grounding it and getting putting your actual roots down but I don't think I mean I also don't know because I I'll never experience it but that's what I wish it's like okay I'm

crying actually is this what crying feels like no okay I just had gas that was up to the brick and I just burped and that was it I was just tapping your back until love or gas came out but I don't well first of all love can be anything because it's sort of like amorphous like you can say I love you and sure if that's true to you then it's true right by default but I think if you think that's love and then you can feel love four to five times a year then it's not really love I think that's too often to feel love you can't feel I don't think you could feel love that often you only have a finite you can't because you're a robot yeah you're

a love it's weird because baby don't hurt me neither of us will ever feel it because you're a robot yeah and you're trying to break down like the the the actual the mathematics yeah love you you just put like three or four months that's like four times a year so I don't know if that's enough to feel love and I'm just and I love like 95 different people in in a week so it's like oh that's not real love either right so yeah we're both fucked thankfully her question was is it okay for the girl to say it first we we got too real I think they don't know what really got real basically we've we've added ourselves is not knowing what

the fuck love is but too very thankfully we can still answer this question so I think it's okay for you to say it first but I feel like it will mean more to you if he says it first sure it always means more when you're not asking for it right so just wait you can wait there's what there's ways to show your love and like show your appreciation and show your affection why are you telling her to wait because I want her to like I want I don't want her to like say I love you and then he says it back and she's like oh no did he only say it back cuz I like forced him it was so like I was well aggressor girls never say I love you

first and now I like made him say it first of all I've never heard that rule that girls never say I love you first really yeah I've never heard that girls said I love you first to you well for me I'm what if I'm like this guy this 24 year old and like I will never say it first just because I am an emotional robot and I have you never said it first it's always like come out of a conversation that I didn't start so I might have said it first but it was a conversation that was initiated by somebody else it comes out of a conversation yeah it's like while you're yeah like defining what we are who we

are should we take the next steps yeah I guess I think I do it's never just like I grab it I grab this person that I'm with I'll be like I have to tell you something so this guy might be like me not in not very much in touch with his emotions and especially at age 24 you don't know what the fuck you're doing not it's 24 yes you do well I'm saying you're not emotionally all there yet maybe he might be waiting for age 24 I've I had already said I love you to three people right yeah that doesn't shock me that's not a lot but each one was like you know I felt it I felt you always the first one and it came out of

nothing yeah well I guess you're better than me correct great okay it is great how dare you not come to my defense I'm throwing myself under the bus and hope that you'll that you'll rescue me or at the very least bump the brakes but what you're doing is parking on my spine I I don't know I guess you can say it first I've had girls say it first to me too oh you loser well I mean I can't help it hey what's that I can't hear you really it's what I said douche I I guess it just met like if you just want to say it then say it but if you like want something more out of it like you want to feel his love then I think you have to

wait no okay well it's good when we disagree so you think she should just say it yeah I guess if you're feeling you should say it or broach the subject and see how he reacts you don't have to go full-on dip your toes in the love water see if anything comes out yeah there's also no shame for waiting for another month or two sometimes you just got to be a man girl I'm talking about that dude did you know about this rule where the guys to say it first yeah it's like all like the guy pays for that I'm not saying that I agree with all of them but yeah but I've heard of guy pay for day I pay for the day guy proposes guy

asked the girl to the dance guy says I love you that's I that's just like the way they were conditioned to think it's supposed to be all right if you say so I'm not saying it's correct right but I'm also saying that you can say I love you if you love him and you want to say it but if you want to feel like he did it first you want to feel more secure right you but this girl can be waiting forever if it's a dude like me right but maybe there's ways that she can make him fall like want to say it you know there's nice things that she can do romantic gestures that will make him realize I love this girl and I'm gonna

tell her alright the last question sort of has to do with the types of people we are so do you want to take a break do you want to just get straight into it I feel like we took a break with all the rap talk yeah why don't we just do it alright so give me one last rap question give me one more platinum plaque and fuck rap you can have it back so dr. Dre okay so dr. Dre writes dr. Dre says nothing you idiots dr. Dre's dead he's locked in my basement we never gave props to Marshall Mathers throughout this entire rap podcast yeah and he's a rap god yeah why be a king all right ready yeah hey guys so I'm not the best

looking dude around but that's not the problem my charismatic extrovert personality attracts plenty of ladies the problem is I'm not really interested in a relationship at the moment but still have the base physical needs I've tried being upfront and honest but I just feel like a shitty individual even when they say they're up for it what's the best way to ditch my morals and go about hooking up with someone without possibly hurting their feelings thanks guys so simply put this guy wants to go from a me who like overanalyzes and is hyper aware of other people's emotions to a fault that they can't even like let

loose at any time because you just feel so bad or like you start thinking about the implications of what tomorrow will bring and what you should text and do all this stuff to someone like you who doesn't consider consequences also maybe to a fault but maybe he wants to find himself in the middle of these two things right so can someone turn from a me do a you I think personally I've and I thought about this recently what's harder me going to the middle of in between you and me or you going into the middle of in between me and you I think we're both fucked I don't think it's we're stuck for both of us because we're

stuck yeah because of our age or just who I guess maybe it's easier for you to do it because you have more willpower than I do so I can just like in a weird logical way create a reality where I have to logically let myself go if you turn into some kind of game I think you can do it because you love you love like mind games yeah I just I just have to consider it a way to improve myself like a Rubik's Cube or running and me I'm just like I'm stuck completely I'll never change but I do think there's there's one thing that you that he's talking about that he could get over and will make it easier which is well he's viewing being

like sexually free and you know he's viewing being a sexual being as something that's bad right thinking of like sleeping with random people and you know talking to different girls as like a negative right where I don't think I don't think that you necessarily have to be an asshole to sleep with a lot of people I'm nice to everybody I fuck right I think there's just like so what's the problem that I that I do it to too many people and it gets like over and then I don't know cuz then I what if it's that's happening to too many people then it's rude then I get mean because I'm like leaving people hanging I'm like

leaving them confused but are you not up front with these ladies being like I don't think there's a reason you don't have to be up front yeah it's weird to meet somebody in a bar and be like hey you're really cool but I'm not looking for anything serious like okay neither am I right putting on that on the girl like the every girl that fucks you was looking for something serious right but some people are just by playing the numbers right but I think you can find that out and then you can tell them as long as you're not stringing anyone along as long as you're never lying as long as you're never ignoring anyone as

long as you're never talking shit about anyone is not as long as you're never ever giving them a negative experience or as soon as you start to you emphatically apologize and stop so what it whatever those things are you not doing that you consider bad well I I haven't been doing this in like a month now right it's a long time for me since I moved out to LA okay but three months ago what were the bad things of those things that you were doing I'm stringing people along lying to them giving them a bad experience talking shit about them I would never I never talk shit never mean I would I string

people along we're like I'll I'll sleep with somebody it's a positive fun experience everyone's having fun I'm nice we're liking each other and then they're like they want to hang out again naturally because you know people who have a nice positive sexual experience with someone think that it's normal to have to want to do it again yeah but I like sort of freak out I'm like if I do it too many times then it's gonna be like a regular thing then they're gonna expect something of me so I this is the part where I should be like hey I'm like I don't want to see you I'm not looking for anything serious but instead I'll be

like hey I can't tonight but I really want to see you next week when it's not really the case right because you don't mean to them but that's the thing sometimes it is the case sometimes I really don't want to see them that week but I really do want to see them the next week right I think it's just like it can be confusing for people and it gives me some guilt but also as long as I'm always up front always honest you never feel too bad no so maybe that's the advice for this guy should be is there's nothing you're not doing anything actually bad so you have nothing to feel guilty about yeah just get over that

guilt yeah and then I think you'll it sounds like you have a good moral compass here so if you start if it starts to get bad then you'll know right what's the best way to ditch my morals realize that your morals are flawed yeah you don't want to be I don't know it's sort of like what they did in Vietnam you know you have to dehumanize the enemy so yeah put propaganda of 28 year old hipsters around your apartment what you need to do is just is is realized that like the the thing that's holding you back from killing these Vietnamese soldiers isn't real I'm not sure exactly how this works but there is a way to brainwash

yourself with I genuinely think that he's that he that he's put it that he's like making a bad thing when it's not a bad thing right just realize that it's okay to that girls have fun having sex too so what what do you what would your advice be to me to loosen up if I'm too much to the other end I mean you've loosened up a lot but they're still like oh this this person is actually pretty cute but she said this one thing or does this one thing and I'm just not even an ancient I'm not I don't even want to ever talk to her right I just like do not want to hang out with them again because they do one one bad thing we have

one bad photo on Instagram right I will scrutinize this one thing I just want to meet up with them I don't know you have to look at bigger picture stuff but that's hard because I mean I sometimes do the same exact thing you're too judgmental not too judgmental but like I'll like folk like honing on one thing that I don't like and it'll like ruin an experience for me but you won't let it stop you from trying to sleep with somebody I'll let it stop from me from trying to sleep with them a second time the way I act towards women is the way you act towards women after you've already slept with them right yeah the

base that's my baseline is that I have to fuck them okay now now that I fuck them now that I'm on your level and I'm already there right I think I don't know you just you have to be having more fun than you are turn it into a game turn it into a game quantify the experience oh no see if I can rack up my number do you care about your number of you get excited about numbers like oh I hooked up with this many people in this many days oh that's a fun little streak oh I have this many people in this month I want to try to like break my record I don't think I care I mean I think I'm aware of numbers like that but I don't care about

them at all it doesn't drive you you're not like oh I want to hook up with this person because then that'll make X in Y days oh no I'm all about like one I'm all about like an experience like I want to have this experience right now and then afterwards I might be like wow I've like been with this many girls this week or something right but it's all it's never about like all right dude I got to get my numbers up last week I hooked up with two girls and that was shitty it's like Glenn Gary Glenn Ross there they're just trying to like hit quotas oh yeah no I've no I've like no quotas at all I was just going my feelings these leads

are weak when you said another good thing yesterday we did Alison Rosen's podcast you're like on day two she's never knew oh yeah we're talking about how I can't how I like I think you were saying a girl like any girl that wants to date me like her biggest problem is that she's not 12 girls right and I was like yeah like I just need new things all the time right I'm day two she's not new which is the duchiest rhyme ever but it's also it's pretty cool I wouldn't wear that you're wearing it on a t-shirt right now I would do that wearing that also have a hash mark tattoos of every girl I've ever

French and then on my other leg it's all the girls that I've blown so I try to keep the ratio as high as possible all right cool that's it that's our advice that's our show that's our episode that's it if you guys have questions of your own you can email us at if I were you show at gmail.com if you have theme songs like Riley did at the beginning of the show or even if it's it's not as good as that just because the Drake one was pretty much we ain't gonna get better pretty baller no we've had some awesome ones yeah send those in as well we start and close every single episode with one this last

one is actually from somebody who decided to keep his name anonymous to I don't know why he didn't want credit for coming up with a good song but we have one last rapper's name to say that this person is yes this is this is this is Kanye West Kanye West is gonna play us out thanks so much for listening everybody we'll be back on Thursday another bonus episode then later that's it that's our episode once again thank you to Nature Box for sponsoring it that's naturebox.com and if you go to naturebox.com slash if I were you you can get 50% off your first box of snacks check them out y'all thanks