If I Were You - 544: Summer Lightning Round

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

In this episode we discuss our favorite athletes, our least favorite Marvel movies, and Jake's new Tik-Tok. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum original. This little rodent has a shell well, he darts his squeal. Pushy tail, tiny feet, beady eyes and his two black teeth. It's a show called if I were you. It's crazy that a chipmunk speaks. He's a world's first chipmunk chew. It's a show called if I were you. Amazing, I love that jam.

It's a good song. Great parody. What's the matter? What is it? You're kicking this off with such a weird energy, like you're fucking offended by something. I'm the first chipmunk chew. Congratulations. You should be happy about that.

You should be proud. Are you ashamed? Sorry, are you ashamed to be Jewish? The joy that you had when you were hearing that song? Yeah, you were not dancing before we got started. Yeah, well, I was dancing because there was music, so I was dancing to the song. I liked the lyrics and I liked the message and I was proud of you for being mentioned. That song's about you.

Are you upset? Yeah, it felt like it was. The song was about how I'm sort of a rodent. A critter. Don't call yourself a rodent. Sure, I guess chipmunks are technically rodents, but you're a proud Jewish woodland animal. Yeah. Yeah.

But not the proud part was in the song, I don't think. Well, that's on you. That's on you. You have to be proud to be who you are. You have to be comfortable with Chipmunk Amir. Yeah. That's your own journey. What do you think of this as the thermos slash new water bottle we have?

I feel like you should get one of those little upside down water bottles with a little straw. So you can. That's actually not meant for, you know, that's meant for hamsters. Right. Which I feel like is adjacent to Chipmunk. So it could theoretically work because then you would only have to just like kind of nip at it like a little teat. And you could maybe even mount it like above your computer. Actually, where your microphone is right now.

I mean, you got another on. I'm not advertising. It does sound kind of fun if it's like cold brew like that on tap with an upside down bottle. Yeah. Like that. Exactly right. And then like I would sort of like not like. Scramble around.

I would scramble because I'm like feeling caffeinated not because I'm a chipmunk. So I'd be like. Right. It's not like. Dark. I would dart basically. Right. Yeah.

We should get you a little wheel. That's actually not a bad idea either. Thinking about like a Peloton. Yeah. And that's sort of like Peloton adjacent. Exactly right. And that could be like almost like an homage to the fact that people do think that. Yeah.

Who you are. But yeah. That'd be cool. Wow. Thank you to Jacob LeGrand for making that theme song for us. Jacob LeGrand. I feel like he's he's made songs for us before that name sounds familiar. Yeah.

Sounds familiar to me for sure. All right. Like on a Monday recording for the following Monday. Look at us on top of our shit. Yeah. On top of our shit but also the stuff that we say today won't be evergreen. So like. Yeah.

What happened today in the news and by the time it comes like game two of the NBA finals just happened. But like by the time you listen to this the whole series might be over basically. Wow. That is. Could it possibly be. Is it. It's Wednesday Friday and then Sunday.

Wednesday Fridays. Oh maybe not actually. I think it's Wednesday Friday Monday. So. Okay. Okay. So that's at the very least. So it won't be over.

But yeah. It might be different. It could look it'll look different. It will be different. Yeah. Actually we asked people for their questions via Twitter this week lightning round style. Okay. So we're going to have a ton of short cues to a we should say this is if I were you

the only advice show on the web hosted by us. Yeah. And we should also say that this is a video. So if you want to watch us fake drinking out of an upside down water bottle. Yeah. Then check out the YouTube bingo. You can watch these as a simulcast as well. Correct.

Here's a question. How would you handle right off the bat this is from Jordan pool MVP. So a Golden State Warriors fan. Yeah. How would you handle having in-laws that have vastly different political beliefs. I think that would be tough. That would be really tough. It would be I think it'd have to depend on exactly.

Well this guy wrote this because he's a diehard conservative right. Yeah. I think Trump supporter and his in-laws are just sort of Elizabeth Warren stands. I think you would have I'd probably avoid them as much as possible and then kind of just stay reserved and quiet when we did hang out. Yeah. We could talk to them about things that aren't politics. Yeah.

You could be one of those people like we just don't talk about politics. We don't really need to talk about that right now. Yeah. I think that's all you can really do. Yeah. Because you're not going to change their minds and they're not going to change yours. Yeah. Although when do you start change?

Like you always say like I'm not going to change their mind and you know they're so different from us but like so when when does that mind get set like at age 18 is it earlier than that? Like what age can we start start dealing. Changing minds. Yeah. Minds that are still malleable. 13.

Yeah. 11. I think I feel like through college you're open to changing your mind. So like even as a 19 year old you can be like I'm liberal and actually I've been reading a bunch of shit and now I'm kind of a conservative Republican. I think 19 is like maybe the prime time to do it. It's when you are coming into your own as an adult. Yeah.

And then it's like after college okay mind is set I'm not fucking changing my mind. Yeah. But then I think that thing that can always change your minds is like friends and peers. It's hard to like to change your father-in-law's mind but I feel like if you've got cousins that are similar ages you might be able to chip away at that. Yeah. I mean I feel like the way to the way to do it is to like invite them to stuff that would expose them to more viewpoints and things that might make them change their mind rather

than being like let's have a political debate because like when whenever you do that people kind of like retreat onto their sides yeah me versus you but yeah. But you just like you know invite somebody out to dinner with like 14 people that are different and maybe maybe you can just do it slowly. Yeah. The worst part is when they have like stats and stuff and they're like how do you explain this stat and I'm like I don't really know what that stat is or if it's real right now because you I guess you did a little bit of research and now I'm not really prepared to

answer the stat. Yeah. You put like that's that's a I think that the better way to do it is like invite them out with somebody and they get to know you know they get to know someone and then you say oh you know Linda had an abortion actually and then they're they're like oh but I'm I'm against that but I like Linda so how does this compute and then you can sort of by introducing them to people that have had different life experiences yeah kind of like make them a little more accepting yeah but it's it's going to be the older you are the less you

can nudge them it seems yeah and also it'll be a lot of effort so if you want to just not hang out with your in-laws that much I think that's also fine. Here's a really tough one I probably should have saved this for later because this is just breaking my brain I can't quite get to the bottom of it RB friend 20 says what's the best Tom Cruise movie damn well I know the answer. So I'll let you go ahead I think I know your answer okay what's that your answer wait did you see the new Top Gun I have not okay do you think that'll be my answer once I see it it'll be up there but I think your favorite is edge of tomorrow that's correct because

that's also my favorite movie right it happens to be a Tom Cruise movie yeah so that's the only answer for me well it's tough because it's like do you want the best movie that Tom Cruise is in or do you want the best Tom Cruise movie you know what I mean what do you think yeah what do you think those things are like what's the best movie that Tom Cruise is also in like my personal favorite movie that Tom Cruise is in is A Few Good Men because I like watched it a lot growing up and I have like a special affinity for those lines and see scenes but I wouldn't necessarily call it like a classic Tom Cruise movie he's not like running jumping punching which is like stuff that you consider from a Tom Cruise movie yeah

there I guess there was a time that when he shifted to become the action star Tom Cruise like because before it was like risky business Jerry Maguire A Few Good Men Rain Man like those are just like him yeah you know that's not him right that's not just him jumping off buildings I feel like that was more once he did like Mission Impossible yeah which might be the best Tom Cruise movies like one of those later Mission Possible's like Ghost Protocol or something yeah also really running jumping doing crazy stunts but then it's also a great movie as well I think I think A Few Good Men might also is probably my number two and I also do think that's a Tom Cruise movie he's certainly the lead yeah that's a cruise vehicle he's a star but he's not an action star

right which is okay but in top the new top gun he's not only acting in a cool Tom Cruise way but he's also flying a fighter jet he's actually flying it too that's correct yeah so like when he's doing crazy flying stunts like in an F whatever 18 like that's actually him flying the plane which is crazy that's nuts that's wild I think you'd dig it all right I'll see it if the entire head gum crew rights ignore the spots had to wrestle who would win um great question there's a couple do there's a couple you think this are you imagining a royal rumble or is it like a one-on-one tournament I guess like some kind of like seated thing almost like a March Madness style bracket where where we like do a play-in we have like head-to-head matches so like the top contenders

end up fighting at the end you know yeah so and then there's okay there's like 30 people at work at head gum now mm-hmm and you've wrestled probably close to 20 of them already most of that was yeah during the peer interview process yeah take me down when I like swept Johnny who are you thinking who would like who would we consider as like the final four top tier contenders I'm thinking Katie moose athletic sleeper athlete yeah played college wiped the floor with Jeff at basketball she also played I don't know if she played I don't know yeah wait that's what I meant to say yeah she played high school then she played up into high school football or maybe it was yeah I was like great yeah I was like middle schooler tackle yeah right yeah hit her head so hard she

walked into the wrong huddle yeah a real competitor that's right I think Brad Hild he's he's an athlete yeah he's like a runner yeah long-distance runner yeah yeah yeah so he's got the that like competitive streak also that no quit attitude like wolf will wrestle through the pain Micah's a little beefcake he's also yeah yeah it's hard to take him down yeah yeah like as he exercises a lot yeah but like have any of these people wrestled before because I feel like excuse me I'm still talking yeah no like that's how the podcast works you talk and then sometimes I talk yeah let's hear chambers new hire yeah he's tall he's like six foot five thick strong right now I'm done seems like seems like he's sort of reached the last one I really wanted to mention Ryan whenever we

do something athletic Dane is usually at the top so that was yeah I mean who's sort of like a soccer player slash seemingly can do it all right that actually was Dane was on my mind when we first started talking as well I feel like he just finds that extra gear like will not lose yeah way to win right I could imagine Dane like kind of like poking Ryan's eyes and no holds barred wrestling match to to sneak into the elite eight wow what about Jeffrey Jeffrey is pretty big he's docile though and he has to calm yeah and he's got too many ailments he's got the ankles that are too thin yeah the eyes that are too dry yeah dry as dry as and ankles dry as and thankles and I think he fears confrontation I think I could kind of chase him out of the ring

if I needed to oh you put yourself in there cuz you didn't really mention that yeah I mean well I was counting on you you what do you think I would where do you think I would place well I really like your final four yeah chambers as the like the the five yeah but ultimately I would probably have to what round do you see me going down in if not the finals when I yeah I would think you would lose to um to your brother probably because he's sort of yeah well ideally we'd be playing in a different bracket so I could face him in the finals I could see you as like a silly first round out for him because he's like he's been sort of training you but like the student hasn't passed the master yet style I see yeah like he'd be able to sort of

like maintain a low center why don't I kick your ass why don't I kick your ass Blumenfeld yeah yeah sure I mean if you get through my car maybe you can get the win how about we don't even do this headgun fucking tournament just me versus you at the studio next week huh well I mean I don't really think of wrestling as noon in the fucking parking lot on Wednesday why can't we do it on grass I don't want to do it on concrete were you ever were you ever challenged to a fight in school like like they do in the movies like meet me at 3 p.m. on the playground I didn't even go to a public school so like there wasn't even that kind of fighting going on it was all just like pretty well to do well-behaved Jewish kids there was no like there was no crazy bullying or fighting

happening really right that's cool um all right let's let's have Micah and Dane duke it out I think that's my final two and then yeah it's hard to say who would win between the two of them Micah and Dane yeah yeah I don't hate that but I think the winner will ultimately be who um who like has the wrestling strategy technique because I don't know the first thing about like how to like get people down how to get up from that mm-hmm yeah strategy I think I think there's people that actually wrestle like didn't I think pile wrestled in high school and Michael really wrestled in high school really wrestled in high school yeah we didn't even consider pile yeah I'm actually Peter MacArthur has some fucking size on him too Jesus all right we'll have to figure it out we'll

have to actually do this at the next yeah off the next retreat yeah instead of top golf we're just kind of fucking fight each other Greco Roman style um all right here's another pretty simple one yeah Nathan Tony says Utah thoughts um Utah thoughts yeah thoughts on Utah um pro Utah I think Utah's might be in my top 10 states I know I've done those I've gone through it recently but I yeah it's definitely it's in the upper area for sure because of uh Zion because of Moab Arches National Park yeah Canyon yeah um I've we've been to Salt Lake City once or twice um for shows yeah it didn't spend a ton of time there but it was it was it was fun while we were there I think it's a beautiful beautiful state you hard pass on Utah no thanks it's too dry too religious

yeah and I do mean both the alcohol and the amount of oxygen in the yeah the alcohol thing is kind of annoying actually yeah and it's very dry to be there it's like high plain style okay where's your fate what's your favorite state California obviously well Arizona yeah really so that's super dry all right so let's say fucking Florida that is it's definitely more famous Florida yeah that's Louisiana but I feel like now you're just choosing your states based on moist like your criteria for not liking Utah yeah why don't you just tell me what state you like without trying to like let's go point let's go Cali 1 New York 2 Texas or Texas 3 because it's so big and has delicious food right um

um uh four um let's say uh um Washington state as four that's a good one yeah Washington state is four number five will the answer will shock you because it's because it is Arizona it's Nevada it's actually wow because you love Vegas yes exactly so I just think of my favorite cities and then back down from there and um Florida has a fun factor to it because it's got the Miami plus the whole beaches vibe of it all which is fun it's also warm I like a warm weather state would it kill you to say Missouri would it kill you to say Missouri not a huge fan of a landlocked middle 30 yeah uh I'm trying to think if there is anyone I've forgotten so far Michigan's pretty fun I'll throw it up there as far as cold as it is yeah yeah very cool uh okay

let's take a break answer some more questions on the other side of these messages love it thank you to helix sleep for sponsoring this episode of our show hell yes thank you for making the sleep test the sleep exam and letting me ace it and become the doctor of the mattress yes uh yeah so helix makes a really great mattress line and you take a little sleep quiz to see what mattress is right for you mm-hmm yeah right jake's been bragging about completing this two minute honestly like buzzfeed light quiz I don't know how to sleep for the better part of it I do not I do not brag I don't brag about completing it I brag about acing it because you got the mattress and it was great or yeah I got the perfect mattress thank god thank god I took that test

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postage and a free digital scale wow no long-term commitments or contracts just go to stamps dot com you click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code if i were you and that gets you a free four week trial free postage and a digital scale that sounds pretty good thank you stamps dot com for sponsoring this show and we're back Jake do you have any yeah i do i um i made a tiktok last night i made a tiktok red last night yeah okay um first of all wow yeah second of all i redownloaded tiktok i had deleted tiktok okay i downloaded tiktok again okay i posted my first talk and pulling it up now what's your name exactly uh jake her what's okay okay yeah okay eight million views holy shit it's you doing a little dance pretty viral

yeah in a minute i'm gonna need a yeah you're twerking to this shit all right what am i right singing dude this is um oh a little bike trip sort of yeah montage i just made a little vignette and that's it yeah this is so unlike you like one you don't like to use tiktok seemingly to you don't like to like post stuff to any social media correct three when you do it's usually like a a coy sarcastic thing this is just a a genuine montage of you bike riding set to a song exactly right walk me through everything by the way you're only following one person and that's me it doesn't seem like i need to follow anybody because the tiktok algorithm just shows me people from my contacts all the time that's true and the more uh the more i use that

the less you'll actually see like um clips of people you follow it's more just the for you page as it learns your preferences yeah and i like the for you page that's that's been nice though for a brief spell they really thought that i was into like surgery and pimple popping i see i needed to tell them that wasn't the vibe then they thought i was into like people fighting each other like hidden camera footage of like people getting decked and i don't like that either so what made you want to read download firstly and then secondly what made you want to post um all right it's there's been a couple things i i i took i took up the new hobby of surfing and i felt like i've just been doing things in my life that are making me happier filling my heart with joy um and i was

driving to the beach with mica and he was kind of like you should just post like some of this stuff on tiktok um because i also like have been liking on instagram like instagram reels just kind of like day day in the life of people that are doing seemingly nice happy things right um and then i just went on a bike ride with jill and i like took five videos and then i select them on tiktok tiktok kind of like crop them all to a certain length and then i just chose the and then it was like you can add this song it was the first one and i listened to it like oh it's nice and then i posted it but what made you want to even get tiktok because you didn't even have tiktok i think i what made me want to do it was kind of a way to like capture these

like nice outings and nice days and a video compilation remember i texted you like a month or two ago i was like what's that one second every day app so i was thinking about doing something like that um but yeah i just like these like 10 second 15 second compilations of like something nice that i did um it's almost like a nice little diary right so you're using it almost like a video log versus yeah content you want to go viral right exactly though i i'd love for everybody just follow for the vibe you know because that's kind of that's the vibe and now do you find yourself using tiktok as a consumer unfortunately yes yes i do just want the i want the archive of like nice bike rides days to the beach climbing trips that type of thing yeah um but then i have found

myself just kind of like scrolling through teenagers getting pranked and yeah women in baggy shirts that then turn into a bikini so that's kind of like it's all over the place it's like baking tips and also the worst people you know punching a teacher in the back of the head and laughing yeah just like society it's just filled with the best and worst people all at once and it kind of reminds me of like what i used to do on tinder when i was like back when i was single when i'd be like going to bed i'm like i'm just gonna swipe until i see someone i like and then you end up swiping for like 45 minutes because you're like constantly looking for that next it's a never-ending spark yeah so then i'll yeah i'm like going through tiktok like oh i just

want to see like one thing that makes me happy before bed and you cut to it's just like 20 minutes later and i've looked at fucking and fuck all i have no idea right that's the that's the bad part of tiktok but i still think tiktok's like my new favorite social media because it can be so helpful and entertaining at the same time yeah what's like your favorite thing that you've seen on tiktok recently oh great question let me go to my likes um there's this one guy that um i follow that just mics himself up hitting on girls and asking them out and i find it very interesting to see like wow this guy's just instantly talking to a stranger and asking for their number and whether he posts the successes and not the failures i'm like wow this works every single time a lot of funny responses

to that that one's pretty good um a lot of like tennis tips i'm seeing like this is like serena's old coach it's like this is how you serve this is how you hit a forehand oh that's cool yeah that's really good um what else have i liked recently um clips from um the making of top gun so that was just entertaining sometimes it's just like original content like this is my joke like avital posts stand-up jokes and then sometimes it's like hey remember this scene from uh that movie or like these outtakes this is why it's important and it's um like here's fucking uh tom selec talking to rosio donnell on the rosio donnell show in 2002 about gun control oh my god that's interesting and then also it's like this is a dog licking a newborn chicken pretending like it's its own

puppy oh my god that's nice too yeah it has it all jeffrey's on here george sabah's on here josh rubin's on here so you follow those people and you go to the for you page and then also do you go to your follows page you go to like yeah i mostly go to house yeah i mostly go to my uh for you page i say oh look first one a tom cruise interview there you go i'll watch that one later yon do you put do you put like uh earphones in when you're listen when you're on tiktok do you turn the sound on uh no i usually just watch it when i'm at home by myself or and the sound is just out yeah yeah um yeah that's my tiktok regimen how often do you post i used to post more i haven't posted too often i used to uh try to like post a few times a week but i feel like i haven't posted

in a while gotcha i need to be inspired um here's the thing that came out recently that i thought since it just happened during this podcast we can weigh in on it like breaking news even though by the time we release it it'll be a week old of course um it looks like according to some slack messages we got you can now edit i messages edit i messages yeah i do you ever use what's app no so i use what's app because i'm on a few groups that um have a friend of mine that doesn't have an iphone and with i met with what's app you can delete texts before like people see you can't edit but you can delete and so you can't do that with i message until now i guess they're adding that ability to edit i messages wow so you can like send a drunk text at night

and delete it first thing in the morning and and it might not go through yeah well it'll go through if they see it but if they didn't see right it'll just say this message was deleted oh wow interesting very interesting you just spilled all over myself that's insane and it was caught on camera this is the problem with fucking live streams one must subscribe to the video version of this but you look like a fool you look like you drooled my bottle drooled what the hell was that was this a prank you obviously didn't that is a bottle that has two caps you didn't screw on the first cap quite tight enough yes exactly is it water in there this part no it's it's cold brew so like this didn't get screwed all that and then there's another top that i don't even fuck with anymore

because it's it's unnecessary to have both i feel like right well the other one is for the it's for traveling so if you need to like be on the hook somewhere it doesn't spill but yeah that's just hanging out on your but this one spilled regardless it was kind of messed up that it didn't let you delete iMessages anyway like once i send it to you like let me delete it like it's not fair that it's like no sorry it's permanent you you sent it now you can never unsend it i feel like that's yeah it only makes sense to let me the guy that sent it be able to say never mind i see i see that's that's interesting i feel like as somebody who i do a lot of like reacting to text messages like when somebody asks me to do something or whatever so it's kind of it would be weird i think if

somebody had the access to just delete something that i was like responding to or working on yeah i guess it's like talking you can't work you need them back or an email you can't unsend i would i mean editing something does seem nice i feel like i've definitely sent some sent a message and then realized there's a mistake and then i'd rather like i don't want to like correct myself with the asterisk which i usually do though because i don't want anyone to think that i'm dumb right which i am yeah sometimes and it's like a word that's like i obviously knew what you meant but now i still have to like do an asterisk and then sometimes you do the asterisk and it auto corrects it again you're like no not believe i meant believe oh sorry believe oh sorry

believe yeah what the duck duck sorry i mean duck damn it yeah so i guess i apple announced that there's a new i message that'll let you do that is that one of the things that there is the apple thing today yes it's happening now that keynote thing i see what's like the big thing it seems like it's that new i messages just that there's not like a new iphone a new mac book yeah maybe there is a new hardware thing but that the i message thing is what people are fucking up in a tizzy about i see it doesn't it doesn't seem like it matters either way that's a that's a huge update hmm software whatever um all right let's answer a few more cues yeah why not we're already here let me pull it up i feel like twitter's next in terms of editing

right can't fucking yeah it's it's insane that they don't let you edit is it so there's not like a bait and switch where you're like you you say hey i i i love um hillary clinton and then everybody likes it and then you say actually i like trump and then yeah everybody like we did it yeah but what about like editing spelling within the first 30 seconds of a tweet there could be a happy medium yeah for sure uh uh uh uh uh uh who's your favorite athlete of all time ricky bojo 99 damn favorite athlete of all time yeah i'm trying to think like who is the athlete that i like was most into at one point in my life babe like ruth really how cool is that he lived and died much before our time great bambino yeah spilling more on myself

yeah i would say i have a lot in common with mickey mantel we both got sauce on our shirts probably that's interesting well damn well i know yours i guess yours is obvious minus kobe for sure my favorite laker for 20 years while i followed basketball for he was you know around for the majority of my life still i'm still not 40 so 20 years of the 39 yeah that's pretty big that's major um well i feel like i feel like it must be like derrick jeeter or mike musina like one of the that was probably my peak being into sports was when i was into the yankees when i was in high school and college firstly do you know derrick jeeter just joined twitter no yeah i guess he's like why he's making uh

um a documentary about himself or a show about himself kind of like uh um the last dance and so he's joined tweet he joined twitter to like tweet about the show and he's on social media for the first time ever wow and he's posting yeah derrick jeeter like you've never seen him the captain on july 18th on espn that's awesome i'll definitely be watching that the problem is like is he like michael jordan is this larger than life character i like derrick jeeter seems like the one of the most boring superstars of all time like i never cared maybe i'm just not a yankee fan but like i don't care what he looks and sounds and what's his personality like i yeah i feel like the interesting thing though is that he's always been so guarded around like media and like being

out there as a personality so it would be kind of interesting right i guess it's all yeah i'm just like that's more hilarious loading it's like what is derrick about what's he really like nobody really knows right so it's the intrigue that's what is supposed to sell it yeah it's a man behind all of his hits seven part doc called the captain i can imagine it not being super interesting he is kind of boring but then he went to michigan and was a double a baseballer there okay yeah and he stayed at one team his whole entire life yep that was it pretty good it's great i not secondly do you know that the yankees are like the best team in baseball right now do you have any idea yeah no i've actually so i went to i went to an early game with streeter this season um and then i got in the habit something

i used to always do is listen to the games on the radio uh and i've been listening to the games i listened to the game yesterday oh so you're sort of getting back into it yeah i'm like vaguely vaguely i wouldn't say like caught i'm i'm aware of how good they're doing and uh i have been really enjoying listening to the games on the radio new favorite player who's your new cheater um i mean probably judge he's just he's just big and huge and yeah hits the ball hard yeah like that shake stick the long ball yeah you know he's six foot seven jesus yeah he like he looks like a super hero he really does my god he's he's like rob grunkowski size but also hitting home runs yeah but i don't i like i've heard all of the players names but i i feel like the the 2001 to 2009

yankee team like every iteration i like knew all those guys and i like feel like i knew their personalities you know the scott brocious the chuck knob lock of the world yeah um so but now i don't think i have that on the yankees at all i basically just can conjure up an image of judge and that's it and everybody else's uh they're just names that i hear on the radio so i should probably start watching some games yeah that way when the playoffs start and you're watching the team you're like oh i actually know who that guy is yeah that's actually a it's a good um unsolicited advice for me to follow i want to start getting into yankees again yeah you can um you can download the fan duel app and um and bet betting on the betting on the games yeah yeah

no that would ruin it for me well the baseball is pure eight thousand dollars on the fucking yankees marlins over eight and a half runs i feel like you'll pay a really close attention if judge goes yard or not if like yeah that's actually your next meal actually depends on like whether or not they score five runs that inning or whatever i feel like you'll get really invested i feel like that would be that would taint the the sport for me it would make it not about baseball and it would make it about cash i don't want that for me i don't need that on my conscience i don't need that on my card well use my promo code just so that when you sign up i can get some uh bonus fan so this is why you chose this question too well didn't hurt right because chicks dig the long com that's

really good that's like for when a baseball player ends up in some sort of bernie williams made off style scheme that's good how dope is that that's by the way like that's we glossed by that but that's really really good chicks when you said chicks dig the long con which sort of meant nothing and i brought it home with a bernie williams made off i was not only able to use one of your yankee players in the past but also tie it back into the random garbage you spewed out yeah and you know what it's actually time i we we often we honor the like the cleanup hitter that person that hits that long ball that we mentioned but what about that leadoff batter because the winning run doesn't get to win unless the tying run gets to score and for that i will be awarding myself

the golden mic and for you you're in glory hog you glory hedgehog that will be a turdy for trying to force my hand and give you a golden mic that you didn't deserve that you didn't earn that you wouldn't have even been it wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for me batting leadoff getting on base with the long con let's go to break before you even respond i think we have some sponsors to make yeah okay yeah all right let's go it's probably squarespace what are the fucking um have you ever it's not and we don't go right into it we throw to break we throw to the break of course let's just fucking do a magic spoon to clear the air no or something it's not that either it's a weird energy right now and

i feel like you're mad at me okay you often get mad and then you get mad at me for bringing up the energy i get angry than than a defensive yeah instantly and one fell swoop all right let's take a break thank you to aura frames for sponsoring this headgum podcast you know aura frames is sponsoring not just this episode but the entire headgum network jake wow that's correct i mean this might be the goat father's day gift i think it actually is yeah yeah not just father's day but if for any uh not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon these digital photo frames might be the best of all time yeah for me personally these things are perfect i'll tell you why as you know i am expecting yeah uh my first child we got one for jill's parents oh wow we got one for

jill's grandma holy smokes we got one for my parents so there are three of these bad boys in our family right now but they are they're great really easy way to like stay in touch with your family you can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen it's really nice oh that's cool so you take a photo of anything perhaps a baby and then it goes to their digital photo yeah frame this is actually how we how we told jill's grandma she was pregnant we got her the aura frame we plugged it in jill's grandma was pregnant really nice asshole this was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife and you're trying to make a joke of it oh i was just being goofy a little bit like uh this is how i told my grandma she was pregnant yeah yeah kind of like

she misheard it or something like that or the way you said it was kind of like could go either way by the way jill's jill's grandma is pregnant oh my god jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant it's pretty cool and you told me with a digital photo frame holy smokes and we let her know with an aura yeah thank you the aura announcement uh so you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the aura app add me to your aura app i'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something that could be funny yeah like your banana your dog alongside pictures of my daughter yeah yeah exactly you can even preload photos and add a personal video message that will display as soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame yeah

it's a great gift a really really iconic gift and right now you can save on the perfect father's day gift and visit aura frames that's a u r a frames dot com and our listeners can use code head gum to get up to 30 off plus free shipping on the best selling frames there it is oh wow this is timely the deal ends on june 18th so don't wait terms and conditions apply that's aura frames a u r a frames dot com okay go get your parent something all right and use the code head gum for 30 off plus free shipping thank you aura and now back to the head gum podcast you were listening to this show is sponsored by better help thank you better help if you're finding yourself in a difficult anxious stressful situation talking to a professional licensed therapist is the best way

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convenience of getting two computers that's not can be as the opposite of convenience memo me five hundred dollars over cost because i got them over face over face actually this is a similar question cream of the crop aka hillary tong asks what's your best purchase of 2022 mm gotta be retail therapy it's gotta be my uh fight my five millimeter wetsuit really five millimeters thick wetsuit for those cold days out in uh out in the rock ways yeah actually incredible the water is so cold but you can't really feel it because this wetsuit is so good so you can't feel it at all you can feel it a little bit like you feel it on your face when you first jump in kind of bracing it goes down the back of the wetsuit you're like oh my god

yeah then it warms up pretty quickly and then you don't really feel it at all wow is it easy to put on and take off no no no it's hard to do that because like you have to sort of like slide it on and it's rubbery and sticky yeah exactly and it's always cold out really early when you put it on right um yeah i haven't gone surfing on like a day where it was like below 40 but i've been when it's between like 40 and 50 i guess it's pretty cold but not that bad i would say it's this freaking bottle for me but the the spill you got that for free yeah i was gonna say it's sabotaged it's spilled yeah it's a nice bottle but yeah it's a nice bottle but it's not really it's hard i do think that was human error really i don't think that was on the

bottle i don't think you screwed the top on tight enough yeah it was it didn't create a good seal yeah i think that was that was on you let's clip that out and sort of turn it into like a silly you can't clip it out because you've had coffee on your shirt the entire oh you i see i see so you want to promote it okay created it yeah yeah we'll make it still stay um yeah it's quite visible because yeah and there's nothing that gets that out like that's baked into the fabric of the shirt now problem yeah you that's your shirt the shirt you basically have to soak the whole thing in coffee which is actually not a terrible idea in terms of it would be a shade darker which is not and also to smell like caffeine yeah uh if you could join any after school curricular activity now what would

you choose ask andrew andrew shank after school curricular activity yeah i'd like i'd like to join a high school basketball team and see how i stack up yeah competition um god i wanted i was gonna say a soccer team but i think it would be really hard look they'd be everybody would have to be younger yeah maybe it'd have to be a seventh grade team yeah for the basketball and the soccer mm-hmm that's probably what i'd have to do because if i'm not necessary i don't have the endurance of like a 13 year old but i can the very least be tall considering there right exactly you can take up a lot of space right i could be like a center almost mm-hmm as long as those little freaking ankle biters don't body

me down low because that could also pretty kind of hurt just you getting hard fouled by a 11 year old dex me that's a technical dream on green style of course he can't get kicked out because they the refs wanted to stay in the game yeah and i you should be the coach not a player but what are you gonna do what's the worst food slash gas station snack to eat in a car during a road trip ask love it ryan um i think i i'm over jerky i think it smells it's the smell is so overpowering interesting that it's yeah that it's it's not worth opening it'll it'll ruin the car but how do you like the taste of it i like the taste of it but not enough to to like have my my car and my fingers smell like jerky for the rest of the day interesting yeah uh i would say the powdered

doughnuts thing like the kind that's like with crumbs or powdered doughnuts everywhere like health valley crunch bars that just get crumbs everywhere or the ones you don't have doughnuts like this sleeve of powdered doughnuts yep i don't really like powdered sugar yeah i don't mind powdered sugar but definitely not in the car um what does the jake and emir multi-versive madness look like says shan wisby 11 do you what did you watch that movie it was like a doctor strange movie no i still have to i still gotta see it have you seen every marvel movie i think so wow yeah just not maybe not every single one most of them that yeah that one is that one's new enough that i i don't know if it's on i basically always just watch them on the plane um i think i

went to the the end game or whatever the last whatever the last one was um i went to that one in the theaters but usually i watch them on planes and do you love them or like a kid or like this is awesome the fucking bad guys and like the good guys are you like watching it as a cynical doping like this is the same movie over and over it's not that good kind of both it's yeah i think when when when one is really when one is really good they are really really good but sometimes now it's it can like it can retreat into its formulaic um nature yeah yeah nature uh so so sometimes that happens i feel like i definitely watch it with a more jaded cynical eye than i used to but i can still be moved when one is really good wow what was your what's your favorite

and least favorite if you remember um man i feel like still captain america is really really up there um black panther incredible um the the final marvel which i can't remember the name of now i think it's end game the final one uh huh um that one's infinity war oh yeah something no infinity war is the one before that i thought uh yeah i don't remember okay um yeah and least favorite least favorite what about your east favorite yeah that's hard to pinpoint i'd have to look at the imdb which will take up way too much time so you never watched one and then you're like that was terrible that sucked i can't believe i watched that i mean i definitely have oh spider man no way oh wait no way home is the one that i liked the other the the other spider man i thought was

really bad eternals was awful okay didn't like eternals i like black widow uh huh um oh venom those are marvel movies that's in the cinematic universe i guess those are terrible ant man didn't like ant man love guardians seems like a lot of them you don't like but you're still gonna watch them all right yeah i'll still watch them all definitely it's like oh there's a civil war and then uh oh yeah no avengers end game okay um nint nint erd wow that's very it breaks my mind n i n t e r d writes what's the lowest effort gift that's still respectable enough to work hmm um wait say it again what's the lowest effort gift that is still respectable enough to work for for who like you show up to a party or a loved one's gathering here's a gift

ten dollar jamba juice gift card probably not respectable enough to work but i didn't fly equally low effort flowers because i think they're beautiful but they're like thoughtful enough i think they're more thoughtful than like alcohol right it's like a nice planted it nobody's ever like oh you got me fucking flowers thanks you have to seek out like a plant shop basically yeah which is pretty low effort yeah low effort but also like i feel like alcohol it's like i you could theoretically you might have an unopen bottle of something at your house yeah a dusty bottle of wine you're like oh yeah nice exactly i think i think flowers uh best blink 182 song to sing at karaoke ass tate m m c c mm gotta be it does feel like all the small things because it's got the

it's got the nausea and i really think in a good karaoke song you want the na na na yeah you know you want to have the na na na yeah you one of my favorite blink songs that is and i guess it might be considered one of their most famous ones but not quite on the all the small things level is um josey this song is let's go don't wait this night song for state yeah yeah that's a great song i don't know how good of a karaoke jam it is okay we'll make it last forever forever i think it's pretty good if you know all the words of that one i think it's fun because i feel like people know the chorus so you have to know everything else um did you did you know that like travis barker would be like the most famous guy like 20 years later is that kind of a weird development that like he became

like kind of his own mega celebrity aside from mark and tom i guess yeah it is a little surprising because he was always like the best musician out of all of them he's like a very very talented drummer obviously yeah but he did always seem kind of like quiet and like right just the odd little quiet guy in the back yeah but that's the nature of drummers you also don't necessarily ever think that somebody that's not like the front man of the band will be the most famous right uh speaking of tiktok his travis barker's daughter has a tiktok and she's like super casual but just describing insane shit so it's like all right here i am going to my dad's wedding um we got on a private plane and we head to the greek islands here's our chef hey uh then we go shopping and i buy

this thing for dad and it's like behind the scenes footage of like this insane wedding all right follow for more it's like 91 million views he's so travis barker is the most famous and his daughter he's so famous that his daughter by extension yeah he's famous interesting uh private chef tiktok is also very funny because it's like hey what it's like being an live-in private chef for this uh family in the hamptons and it's like i wake up and i go to their herb garden and i make this breakfast and i sit with them then i like wash the kitchen and just like you're seeing these guys they're like living like eight million dollar mansions and what their private chef is up to that sounds really awesome it makes you want to just be fucking loaded i mean learn how to cook

or something right yeah exactly right for sure for sure uh all right that's it those are honestly the best 14 questions that were sent there were some really shitty ones like this guy bonzo bakers like how would you describe your comedic voice yeah step it up guys yeah i mean i was pretty good actually sarcastic yeah sort of yeah hi hi what is it hi this lowbrow or something oh yeah highbrow lowbrow hi no it's like a matrix like high intelligence low culture i fucking forget see he's he's stumped us yeah high low it's like that new york magazine i thought it was highbrow lowbrow though for some reason the approval matrix yeah how yeah highbrow brilliant lowbrow highbrow lowbrow and brilliant are despicable okay lowbrow brilliant that was what we

that's us okay cool i'm glad we got to the bottom of that lowbrow brilliant that's our new podcast that we aspire to do uh namaste again you can watch us on our youtube channel you can see me spilling on myself during the recording or you can just keep listening to the show as you do we appreciate it nonetheless the opening theme song jacob the grand uh sent to us at if i read your show at gmail.com so if you have your own questions or your own theme songs email us we still need your questions please do uh and there's not a lot of questions in the backlog so now's your best chance for us to answer them fuck yeah so if you've been sitting on a queue for us to a let us know send it in now that's right uh and as always you can watch us more on our patreon patreon.com

slash j a we're watching jacademyour videos and ja and um commenting on it take a stroll with us down memory lane it's been a wonderful time uh all right we will see you all next week of course chow everybody bye i can't explain the anatomy of how this is real you this little rodent has a show where all he does is squeal pushy tail tiny feet

baby eyes and his two black teeth it's a show called a fire where you it's crazy that a chipmunk speaks he's a world's rich chipmunk chew string that's in his chipmunk cheeks it's a show called a fire where you that was a hit gum original