If I Were You - 548: Fate on Shuffle

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

In this episode we discuss making music, sweating at home, and overnight spas. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum original. Rolls and rolls and lockers Classrooms full of jocks The preppies all wear dockers The lockers all have locks Home rooms start at 8am I smile cause I know I'll see you then You can copy my homework

I think it's mostly wrong Freshman year I met you Sophomore year I bet you Never thought of me Junior year but it's finally June, yeah And senior year It's almost here I'll hold you close and keep you near, yeah

One more summer before we go Before we go away One true stoner don't you know I wish we could stay Cause now that your boyfriend graduated I guess he's a freshman all over again So happy birthday so belated Maybe now we can be more than friends

We rule this school now let's go hornets Let's hold a pep rally for your heart JB losers, varsity lovers I knew I liked you from the start Freshman year I met you Sophomore year I bet you Never thought of me Junior year but it's finally June, yeah

And senior year It's almost here Would you like me if I pierce my ears, yeah One more summer before we go Before we go away One true stoner don't you know I wish we could stay I wish we could stay

I wish we could stay I wish we could stay I wish we could stay I wish we could stay Shout out to Phaedon Shuffle with their new hit single One True Stunner that was Jake Hurwitz out there for all of you. That was you singing? That was Gareth O'Connor, the one who was playing the instruments.

Gareth did the instruments and he like arranged the instruments like told him what to play. He did the mixing, the mastering, he did the writing, he did the composure of the song. He finalized the product. But if you liked the lyrics, then I wrote those. I wrote the lyrics. Wow. So, yeah. Yeah.

What did you say? It's freshman year I met you. Sophomore year I bet you never thought of me. Junior year. But it's finally June. Yeah. Oh, June. Yeah.

Like the month June. Junior and June. Yeah. Yep. Senior year, but it's finally here. Yeah. Yeah. Senior year, it's almost here and then there's one that says I'll hold you close and keep

you near and the other one that says, would you like me if I pierced my ear? Yeah. That's sort of the crux of the whole thing, isn't it? It's like I'm down to do whatever it takes to get you to like me and is there anything I can change about my personality or person that would get us there? Wow. Your first single with Gareth. Yeah.

And I don't want to jinx anything, but there's plenty more where that came from. So how long did it take you to write that? For me to write that, it wasn't, it was, you know, I think over the course of, you know, the entire time of writing it, several hours, I think. Oh. Oh. A while. Yeah.

After, I think after the first time we talked about it, I wrote down, I jotted down some thought starters, some notes. Then I came back to it. Then I believe Gareth DM'd me and it made me go back to it again. Theme song? Yeah. I think he wrote a theme song and he like DM'd me about it and was like, you should, I think you'll like it in particular.

So then I was chatting with him. And then he told me he was down to do this experiment where I write the lyrics and he does everything. Yeah. So I was like, that made me go back to it. I think I spent another, all in, all in at that point, I think I spent maybe like an hour and a half. Wow.

Gareth like sent me kind of like, he worked really fast. He basically sent me a cut and it was so good that I was like, all right, I really need to like make the lyrics better. So then I think I spent another hour or two. Do you remember what you were tuning? What did you update lyrics wise? Do you remember like what you didn't like and what you changed? Let me see.

I know, I think the first, the very first pass had the opening line, Rose and Rose Blocker's classrooms full of jock. That one was almost there. And then the, the one I sent him only went up to sophomore year, I bet you never thought of me. I think I couldn't crack the other half of that. And then I also had, now that your boyfriend graduated, now he's a freshman all over again. So happy birthday, so belated, which I really like because it's just completely nonsensical

punk soundings. It's a happy birthday, so belated. What are you throwing that in for? Cause her birthday wasn't like it. It wasn't until October. So it's like, now that I'm like making my move, I guess I should also say happy birthday because I knew you had one and I was too afraid to say anything at the time. I thought you were going to say so happy birthday to you, Kevin, like, yeah, sorry, buddy.

Happy birthday, but I'm here with your girl if she wants me to pierce my ears. That would also work. That would actually also work. And then the chorus was actually the same. One more summer before we go, one true stunner. So yeah, that was, that was all kind of the same. I think I added, I added more lyrics after. You could tell that Gareth is Irish, the stunner, right?

Any time when he says, one of my favorite lines is, we rule this school now, let's go hornets, let's hold a pep rally for your heart, but he says, heart for your heart. He didn't even have pep rallies in Ireland or he just sort of had to assume. No, when he was DMing me, he was like, can you explain to me what, like they don't have a freshman, sophomore, junior and senior year. Oh, right. So he like basically, he did all of this without even really understanding the intricacies of American high school, which is very impressive.

And what would you say is a hernet? We don't have any bees over here. No, we don't have any flies at all. Do your high schools have mascots or is that just a thing we did here? Or do you just say St. Peter's and everyone knows what they mean by that? So when we're talking about second, third songs, any themes that we can tip that you can say, oh, there's another one about this, that or the other. Yeah.

I'll actually, I'll give you, I'll give the folks at home a little, a little rundown. I have two, two things that I'm trying to work on. One that's kind of like superlative based. So here's what I have so far. That's a one line that says, most likely to succeed at breaking my heart. Nice. Yeah. And then the, either the chorus or the pre-chorus will start.

Guess I'm the class clown. Funny how I never get to fool around because that's like, I make people laugh, but I'm not hooking up with anybody. Yeah, exactly. Right. That's good. Exactly. Right.

Yeah. And that's the one that's sort of percolating. Yeah. And then I also have like another line that I think is really dumb, which is you're the perfect 10, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one that makes my heart blast off. So it's kind of like, it's a reading couched in a countdown, couched in a one for me type scenario.

That's cool. Yeah. So that's, that's for my two that I'm working on now. Yeah. I should say you guys can follow fate on shuffle if I did this right on Spotify. Is it on Spotify right now? I don't know. It's not.

It takes five days. I uploaded everything. I uploaded everything today. You should have a sound cloud. Drop your sound cloud. I should have a sound cloud because that's, I think you can just instantly almost like YouTube. Okay.

So maybe, well, I think this, I straight up had to sign up for like a distribution thing because that's the only way to get your music on Spotify. So it might put it on sound cloud also. And when you imagine touring you and Gareth, do you think that you're on stage with him or it's sort of you're like the behind the scenes kind of guy? Yeah. Because nobody needs to see you writing, right? Right.

So in some instances, I feel, I guess I would be on stage. I think for me, ideally I'm on stage playing rhythm guitar, you know, so I'm sort of like there and available and can be part of the show, backup vocals, but I can't really sing so I'd have to turn my mic way down so people wouldn't actually hear me. So I think, so ideally. You're on stage but you almost have like a dummy instrument and a mic that's not plugged in. Right.

So I have a guitar that's not plugged in, a mic that's not plugged in, then there's actual backup singers and other guitarists. So it seems more like I'm playing and not totally like I'm just fucking around. But that's nice. That's the vibe. I sent you the album art that I made. Yeah. Let me share the screen.

So for those of you watching along on our YouTube, we are, you know, simulcasting these now so you can watch us as well as listen to us. Thank you. So I couldn't make my band without. I'm sharing my album art. Yeah. You can see that, right? Yeah.

So it's lockers. Lockers. Yeah. Did you make them read like this or was this the photo that you found? That was the photo. That was just on on Splash. That's a royalty free image that I searched for high school and got it. That came up and it felt right.

And the the text over it. Did you do that as well? Yeah. Originally, I just did like kind of block white font and I showed it to Micah and he said that I should make it kind of like graffiti so it looked like it was sprayed on the on the lockers. That's if I was really good at Photoshop, I would like actually have it, you know, truly like that.

Yeah. But that's as close as I could get. And I only had a few minutes. And this is cover art for the band or the album? The single. And I guess the album because I don't know anymore, man. This is our debut album. So I think this is the cover art for the whole album and the album doesn't have a

knee. Yeah. Yeah. This is the this is cover art. So I guess technically we cover art for the band because this album is unnamed. It's only a single right now. So I don't think it needs an album cover. Yeah.

Fade on shuffle. Fade on shuffle. That's right. Wow. Are you like what's your what is your opinion of this whole thing? I'm curious to know because then I did it all for you in a way. What? There's no way.

You wrote this song for me. This is about you. No, it's not. No way. Freshman year. I met you. We didn't know each other in high school. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you like it or not? It's good. The song is catchy in a great way. The instrument sounds like a straight up real punk song that like I have listened to in the past, but I didn't remember something like that. Yeah. He's really he's really nailed the genre for sure.

Yeah. I wonder how often that happens where it's like one guy does everything like that's there's no bands like that, right? Well, I think the reason I am familiar with this is that I think this is how Fallout Boy operates or used to operate like Pete Wentz would write all of the lyrics and then Patrick Stump did everything else, including like figuring out how to sing the lyrics so they all made sense. Yeah.

And then there's like touring drummers because this guy, Gareth can't do it all live yet to like yeah. Yeah. But I think a lot of bands have like, you know, the main songwriter who who basically does everything and Kid Rock used to I think compose all of his stuff in the studio. So there's a lot of bands that do that. But then when you tour, it's a different beast. Wow.

So yeah, that's why they'd have to give me at least the second rhythm guitar on the road. I wonder if there's a world where you can lend your vocals to some of them because it's never just one guy singing, don't they? It's like Tom and also Mark. Yeah. I would really like to. But I think I'm probably bad enough at singing that it wouldn't.

I don't even think Gareth could make it sound good. But that said, G-Money, buddy, if you think that I can send you raw vocals and you can make it work, then I'll really happily do that. You know what you could do is sing that song verbatim and then he can always add your lines over him. Sometimes it's like two people singing at once. Yeah. Right.

And if I'm singing under him, then it might just like add a little boost and it won't sound quite as bad. Right. Definitely. I was like talking with Jill and Micah about like some different punk genres and like the everyone's singing the chorus together is always definitely like, yeah, that's a punk genre. I want to get better, better, better, better.

Yeah. Right. The one who will fight for your honor. Yeah. That was Newfound Glory, right? Yeah. Newfound Glory. I think it's a cover.

I mean, it definitely is. Yeah. Yeah. Glory of love. Right. And then there's like not even instruments during that part. Yeah. There's a lot of, there's a lot to unearth when it comes to this punk stuff.

I wonder if Gareth grew up listening to this or he's just a musical savant where he's like, yeah, I can do any genre you want. I think he, I think he likes punk. I'm sure that he grew up at least listening to some like us and I don't think he like currently makes punk music. He said he's an actor, improviser and musician who lives in London now. Oh, that's cool. So I think he speaks the language of punk, but I don't think he's a punk rock musician

necessarily. Did you meet him in London? No, I only met him a few weeks ago on Instagram, but from like, I'll definitely hang out with him next time because we'll probably have a live show at fucking O2 Shepherd's Bush or something. At the very least, a studio sesh. Let's just get into the fucking recording studio for a week, a jam band, get back style and just fart out a full album in a week and a half.

It shouldn't be that hard. I feel like I could write like 12 songs on the plane because that's the easiest shit, you know? Yeah. Are they all high school themed? I think they're not going to all be directly high school themed though. The second one that I'm writing currently is, I do think they're all whiny little shithead themed.

Yeah. Because that's the one I can tap back into when I'm writing. It's like when I was 17 and actually writing songs in my basement, it was mostly about how girls didn't like me. Oh, that's right. You were quote unquote in a band at this age, weren't you not? Yeah. When I was, I don't know, I think I was six, I was younger when I was in quote unquote

the band. I think it was like 16. And did you guys write and perform songs? Like, do you have a actual lyrics you can just dust off and turn it into a new song? Yeah. Remember the song? I think I played it for you once. Me and Eddie's song, Pretty Pleased, do you remember that one?

Vaguely, yeah. But that's like a full song that's written and everything. Yeah. Full song. But I couldn't take that song away from Eddie. I'm sure he'd be honored to have it digitally remastered. By the master. What was Pretty Pleased about?

Pretty Pleased. It was about going away to college and breaking up with somebody. Yeah. See, you're already sitting on a treasure trove. Right. I think the course was, oh no, I don't want to go. I'm happy here. Can't I just stay home?

Pretty Pleased. I don't want to leave. I'm happy here. Why can't you see? That's exactly what it was. Yeah. It really just fell out of me. Did you record it?

At the time. Yeah. I had like a little four track recorder. It exists nowhere now. Oh, gone forever. Only for Gareth to unearth. Eddie probably has a video of us performing it when we were in our 20s when he was visiting New York.

We used to just play it on the acoustic guitar when he would come to visit. Cohen was also in a band. You guys could totally just make a band of other people's old bandmates. Yeah. Cohen, he played some shows, didn't he? Yeah. He played bass or guitar? I think he played bass in a battle of the bands.

His band was called Running on Empty and it was also the same thing, Pop Punk from Teenagers. Running on Empty is a good name. You just need a drummer. Do you know any drummer? It wasn't Streeter or drummer? Streeter is a drummer. Yeah. Emily Oxford is also a drummer.

The bands back together. Yeah, but I mean the hard part is writing the lyrics. That's the one thing he did. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's exactly what you did. You called it the hard part. Throw a feet on shuffle, a follow on Spotify, start streaming that song on repeat and don't let it shuffle.

Nice. That's how me and Gareth are going to make bank for our next album and for our tour. You're going to want to go on tour. That's the fun part where you're fucking doing shows. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to need to find some fucking other songs quick. You already know the venues from your live podcasting.

Exactly. Exactly. You can almost like finagle your way. It's like, okay, this is a D&D show, so we'll sell out the show and also fade on shuffle is opening. We'll open. Yeah, that's right. But fade on shuffle will play for two hours and then I'll come out as hard one in cosplay

roll a single D20, get a nat one and get boot off stage. Yeah, because everyone's there to see the band of boobs and they won't be there. Exactly. All right, this is if I were you. The only advice pod on the web hosted by a songwriter, an official songwriter. That's right. That's right. And me, sort of an ideas man behind the scenes.

Yeah. It was your concept. You said, yeah, you said like senior, the girlfriend, the girl's boyfriend is a senior and he's graduating. He's a freshman and that made it into the final cut. That's a straight up lyric. Okay. Can I give you some more starting points?

Yeah. Taking the SATs hungover. Oh, that's good. That's what all the cool kids say, like, oh, I don't even know what I got. Like I was so hungover when I was taking my SATs. Right. That's hungover. Okay.

Being afraid to smoke weed at a party because you might get expelled. So it's like all the cool kids are getting high and you're like, I don't really want to. And then like girls like, whoa, who's that guy? He's not giving it to peer pressure. Sort of like nerd fantasy. Love that. Related to the one you already wrote.

Okay. Cool. Those are two great ideas. Then tutoring a hot girl, sort of like you're a senior and the hot girl is a junior and her mom is friends with your mom and you're tutoring her and you're nervous as shit and she's asking. Did this happen to you? No, it just seems like a sticky situation predicament for her.

That's ripe for music. So you don't want to do her homework, but at the same time, like you would gladly do her homework just so that she kisses you on the cheek and then goes to a party with her friends, you know, like that could be one of those shots. I assume you're going to make these into music videos. We have to. Absolutely. Me playing a high schooler, 10, 15 style.

Everyone else is actually in high school. Yeah. Okay. Let's take a break and answer some questions because there are real people out there who are stuck in their dilemmas. That is correct. We have to do our best to help them out. That's right.

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Thank you stamps.com for sponsoring this show. And we're back. All right, let's get straight into it. We got a lot of questions to get through. I'm ready. Here's one about an air conditioner dispute. Hmm. Okay.

Sometimes comes up in those helix ads. Some this is sort of thematically relevant. A couple who can't quite agree on the thermostat will call them AC this person AC. Got it. My wife and I are in a heated battle about turning on the AC in our house. Our latest electricity bill skyrocketed from a hundred dollars to three hundred dollars and my wife blames it purely on me turning on the air conditioner. I turn it on when I'm home for work because our house always gets hit from the sun.

So the house is around eighty nine degrees when I get home. Wow. I keep it at seventy six degrees, which I think is a modest temperature. I'm a firm believer that it's cheaper to have it on at all times. So it has to cool down a degree or two instead of twenty degrees. She she was fine at first leaving it on in the afternoon, but I would forget to turn it off when I left for work at times when she would turn it off proceeds to complain to me about forgetting to turn it off.

And now that the bill is so high, she refuses to turn it on. The house is a fucking sauna and I can't stand it. I've been trying to sleep with a fan on, but it just blows the hot air that's already trapped inside. I have a two story home so the heat is even worse upstairs to make matters worse. My wife seems to not mind the hot the house being that hot. She continues to say it isn't that bad when I tell her I'm dying. I resorted to turning AC on.

So she's when after she passes out and turn it back on before she gets up, but she caught me and complained about how overreacting that I shouldn't turn it on. I have a crap old thermostat, so I can't program it. Should I just try to convince her to get a smart thermostat? Would that help? Please advice. Anything help. Thanks.

Hmm. I mean, I think the smart thermostat would definitely help. You can. My house is on a smart thermostat. I leave it on eco mode. But even eco mode, you give it a temperature and it just constantly keeps it in that range. Yeah, but you can also set it as a way. So it's like, I'm gone and while I'm gone, the house can get it up to this hot and it

should never get below this cold. So like your AC and your heat isn't, it's not kicking on unless it needs to, you know? Are you heating or cooling the house when you're like out of town or you're just like, I can go up to 90 when I'm not there. No big deal. Um, it's a good question. We have only lived in here since the end of last August. So I haven't actually had to deal with it.

But I think I would probably err on the side of not letting it get to 90. I think that's too hot. Yeah. I wonder if that's bad for the house itself. Like even though there's nobody in it, I wonder if there's anything bad for plants and or furniture for a house to get that hot. Yeah. I mean, it would, I would appear so.

I would think so. I would say yes. Did you ever live with it out in air conditioner? Um, yeah. When I, I think when I moved to New York, I didn't have an air conditioner in my room in the place that I lived at, lived at with Cohen and Rosie and I just kept the window open until like one, one summer it got so hot that I like got an air conditioner from the street.

Yeah. I remember that's like a rite of passage in New York, like installing your first AC wall unit when you're like, yeah, this is because it doesn't even get the problem with the East Coast is that it doesn't even cool off at night. So like, it'll get down to like 92 still overnight. So it's like, yeah, you really have to shower and then fall asleep naked and wet and hope to God that you don't start sweating all the night. The air is heavy and still.

No breeze. Yes. Um, I remember like installing an AC and then moving to my next place and being like, I don't want to move this AC, like this next place actually has an air conditioner already. Like constantly when you're moving into a new place, like a tenant is going to leave their air conditioner because nobody wants to fucking walk down the street with it. Yeah. It's a heavy box that you have to screw into a window.

It seems very dangerous. It's like, I hope you install it right. Otherwise this 75 pound mini fridge is falling out from 21, you know, stories tall. They kill people for sure. Uh, in LA, our first Airbnb did not have air conditioner. I don't know if you remember that. That's right. I, I very, I, I remember it very well.

It would get very hot. I had a fan in the room and they, it was, it was a solarium. It was just a huge glass room at the back of the house where the sun sat all day. And that was where we recorded the podcast. It would literally, I think, get above a hundred degrees in it because it was a glass on all three walls and it would like trap like an easy bake of it. It was a greenhouse. You couldn't, you couldn't even enter the room.

It was too hot. And that just like, it was, it was like a fireplace for the rest of the house. It made the whole entire house insanely hot. Right. It would just leak out. You could not keep the house cool. And that house like needed an air conditioner more than any other house I've ever been in and did not have one.

Yeah. And just now I have all of like the, the little mini split AC units and I can control them all individually and they really work. There is a point of pride. I know like some adults they're like, we don't have an AC. We just use fans and they're just like, we get fucking get used to it. And it's like, well, I can't, I don't want to live like that. Oh, so you're kind of comfortable.

Yeah. The fan plus it being too hot is a very like specific sensation that I had like as a kid growing up. Yeah. But I haven't really felt that at night. We never had AC growing up. We all, we also used fans and there is something like nostalgic and nice about like a cool summer night where the fan is blowing.

You got the white noise. You got the breeze. It's really lovely. The street noise. The cicadas out there. Hell yeah. But with the whole global warming thing, it's, it's really, it's really hot. It's not that comfortable.

It's too hot and it seems like most couples are split down the middle. You have one that runs hot and runs, one that runs cold. Yeah. What, what's the, where's your thermostat at when you're going to bed? I run cold. So like, I don't need it to be very cold. I'm okay being a little warm. Avital runs hot.

She prefers it to be cold. She's like the guy in this question. We usually keep it around in the lower seventies, like 71 to 73. Yeah. But it also. I keep it at a six, between 66 and 69. That's soak. And I don't know if it's the same everywhere.

Like when it's 69 degrees out, it feels like nice and pleasant. When it's 69 in my house, it feels like I'm inside of a refrigerator. It's so frigid. I don't know if it's just like the way indoor air is versus outdoor or the size of the house versus what? Well, I think it's, it should be standardized. It's blowing it on you. So it's circulating that cold air, which makes it feel a little colder.

Yeah. Like if I set my thermostat to 69 and just leave it, I would be very, I would like have to wear a sweatshirt indoors. Right. Well, that's what I'd only do it when it's bedtime. I'm under the covers and it helps. I think it helps you sleep better. Yeah.

I know that it does. You are supposed to, but that means your AC is on most of the night, right? Yeah. The entire night. But again, I have those split systems. So that's only operating in my bedroom. The rest of the house, no AC. Energy.

Electric bill is very, very low. Yeah. So what should, what can you possibly tell your, your loved one? I mean, you can, you know, pay for the whole AC. I don't know if they're splitting costs or whatever, but it's like, whatever it cost, like if he's like, I don't care if it's an extra $200, I can't live the other way. Right. So you can cover the cost.

I think that introducing the smart thermostat is good because it injects a new argument into the debate here. Just being like, I'm too hot. It's fine. I'm too hot. I'm not using the AC anyway. Don't, like you, coming to the table with a new idea, it's like, how about I get this smart thermostat, we'll be able to control it from our phone.

So I won't, if I forget to turn it off, I can turn it off from work. We'll use the eco mode. We'll use the away feature. We'll set a schedule. And then it's like, that'll save us money ultimately. And if it doesn't, then we'll, we'll switch back or we'll look at it again. All right. The next thermostat came with my house and it's a kind of a game changer, being able

to like turn on your AC from anywhere in the world. Yeah. I was resistant to, I wanted to make my house a dumb house and just like, you know, not have an app that does everything, but I've made the house mildly smart and like being able to check on the temperature, being able to control all of the ACs, being able to like look at the ring and see what's going on outside. It is really nice. What do you, do you have a key keyless entry?

No keyless entry. I'm, I'm going old school on the key. My house in LA had the keyless entry, which I did, which I did like, but now I'm a little too worried about the security. I don't want too many people knowing the codes. I don't want to get out. That's cool. Retina scan entry.

So they, it has to be your DNA, something like that. That's cool. Yeah. This just doesn't really help this guy at all. I'm just sort of right. I want to think about how to outfit your place to be super secure, but at the same time, your help with the security system. So the, how, how would I be able to, I don't want you to be part of the equation.

I wonder if I get into your neighbor's house. If I can jump that fence, would you know that I'm back there sort of traipsing around in your yard? Yeah. Yeah. I have the camera in the back of the house as well. Camera, but would it be tripped with a motion activated or is it just sort of exactly? Yes.

Yes. You can't actually have it go off every time a squirrel scurries about. It certainly does. It certainly does. Okay. At a certain point, you have to turn off the motion sensor and I feel like I can begin sort of traipsing around back there, uprooting certain vegetables. I feel like now knowing what your end goal is, I'm going to be less likely to turn off

the motion sensor, right? Because you're hoping that I'll get, get bored with it. And then you can, what did you say, traipse? Yeah, like uproot certain things and sort of. That's more than traipsing. That's more than traipsing. That's trespraping. Yes.

Trespraping. Tresprapes passing. Uprooting herbs, like if you like plant like a basil bush, I'm sort of eating them like little. You're there. Yeah. Yeah. Little bugs that sort of get to your crops.

You want to be a little worms on the leaves basically so you can't tell them there. I'd be upset if that happened, right? But right at the same time, you wouldn't be able to stop it. There's also a very quantifiable, like compromise, like usually fights don't come down to specific numbers like this. You're like, you want 76, I want 84, let's meet in the middle 80. It's like, you know, you get an exact amount. That's so hot still.

It's like the AC is running, it should be at least cooling you below 75. I once got into, I don't know if I talked to this on the podcast before, there was an argument that I got with Avital and then two of her, actually two of our friends, Sean Perlman and his girlfriend, the air conditioner was running and Avital was like, can we make it colder in here? And it was set to like 71 and the house was 73, so it was cooling to 71 and I said, no, we can't make it colder. The AC is either on or off.

There's no like make it colder setting. It's just would be on for longer. And then they've got mad at me, it's like, yes, you can make it colder. You can set it to 67 instead of 71. And I said, sure, but that wouldn't make it colder right now, it would just continue to have it on. Let's get it down to 69 and see if you still want it on. Do you see the debate that I was having, then why they would get sort of upset with me or

are you sort of on my side? I'm on your side. Yes. Well, you let them know because they still sort of bring it up. Did you verify that? I said, no, we can't make it colder. And then at a certain point, the AC did stop and they're like, you said you couldn't make it colder.

I was like, yeah, at the time you couldn't make it colder, the AC was just on. And now that it's 71, it feels fine in here. Do you want it still a colder still? And of course they did because they didn't want me to be correct in that time and place. Would you say you can make it colder? No, I don't think you can actually make it. It's not like colder air is blowing in. Yeah, no, it's blowing the cold air in.

The coldest air possible. I don't think that it's like blowing in 71 degree air and then 69 degree air. Correct, yes. But they were like, yes, you can make it colder, just set it to 67 instead of 70 or whatever. I mean, that might be the case. I have no idea. I'm just going on my gut. Yeah, same.

I just assume it's like 50 degree air and it'll stop when it hits the temperature, desired temperature. Right, that makes sense. But if it's already on, let's not make a decision now to make it colder. I like it because even if they're right, it doesn't matter. Or if you're right, you could have just let them think that they were right, but you wouldn't have that. No, God, no, I would never, yeah, because then I'm not smarter slash holier than vows.

We don't even know if it's correct though. It's got to be right. Air conditioners can't. If you set your AC to 50 versus 70, if it's 80 degrees in the house, it'll blow the same cold air and the same amount, I would assume. Okay, so survivesummer.com says, no turning your thermostat lower doesn't make the air colder. Right, which seems kind of counterintuitive, right?

It's like, yeah, it almost depends on what your definition of colder is. Your home air conditioner won't blow colder if you turn down the thermostat. It only turns the air on and off, cranking down the AC will only raise your electric bill. Right, which is what I was trying to argue. Anyway, tweet at me and let me know that I was right. If you disagree, I don't want to hear about it. Let's take another break, think another sponsor, come back and answer another question.

Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this headgum podcast. Aura Frames is sponsoring not just this episode, but the entire headgum network, Jake, wow. That's correct. I mean, this might be the Goat Father's Day gift. I think it actually is, yeah. Yeah, not just Father's Day, but if for any not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon, these digital photo frames might be the best of all time. Yeah, for me personally, these things are perfect.

I'll tell you why. As you know, I am expecting my first child. We got one for Jill's parents. We got one for Jill's grandma. Holy smokes. We got one for my parents. There are three of these bad boys in our family right now, but they're great, really easy way to stay in touch with your family.

You can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen. It's really nice. Oh, that's cool. A photo of anything, perhaps a baby, and then it goes to their digital photo frame. This is actually how we told Jill's grandma she was pregnant. We got her the aura frame. We plugged it in. Jill's grandma was pregnant.

Really nice asshole. This was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife, and you're trying to make a joke of it. I was just being goofy a little bit like, this is how I told my grandma she was pregnant. Yeah. She misheard it or something like that, or the way you said it was kind of like, could go either way. By the way, Jill's grandma is pregnant.

Oh my God. Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant. It's pretty cool. And you told me with a digital photo frame? Holy smokes. And we let her know with an aura. Yeah. Thank you.

The aura announcement. So you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the aura app. Add me to your aura app. I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something. That could be funny. Yeah. Like your banana or your dog alongside pictures of my daughter.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You deserve that. You can even preload photos and add a personal video message that will display as soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame. Yeah. It's a great gift.

A really, really iconic gift. And right now you can save on the perfect Father's Day gift and visit auraframes. It's a u r a frames dot com. And our listeners can use code head gum to get up to $30 off plus free shipping on the best selling frames. There it is. Oh wow. This is timely.

The deal ends on June 18th. So don't wait. Terms and conditions apply. That's aura frames a u r a frames dot com. Okay. Go get your parents something. All right. And use the code head gum for $30 off plus free shipping.

Right on. Thank you, aura. To the head gum podcast you were listening to this show is sponsored by better help. Thank you. Better help. If you're finding yourself in a difficult, anxious, stressful situation, talking to a professional licensed therapist is the best way to navigate yourself out of that difficult place.

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We have what is known as a silly quote, low stakes question for you. Okay. Let's hear it. My girlfriend and I started dating back in March of 2020. We met as coworkers at a job as engineers. I asked her out one week after I left my old job and started a new one and then COVID struck. And during that time, we agreed it would be funny to not tell anyone we worked with that we were dating until we saw them in person together.

This was back when we thought COVID would be over by the summer. Fast forward till now, we're all vaccinated and planning a get together for all the people we used to work with. And now I'm worried they're going to think it's weird. We never told them. Is it less awkward to give them a heads up ahead of time or should we go through with our long awaited plan to bring it up in person? For the second, what do you think would be the least awkward way of bringing it up?

We are very much in a silly predicament of our own making would appreciate the advice. Interesting. So it's like, oh, you know, there's two people we used to work with when we were working together. Now they're dating and we're here. Can you believe that? Yeah. Do you need to give them a heads up?

I don't think so. I think that like it's just that it's happened in like you've been living with it in your head so long that it's starting to get weird. But I think that like everyone else will be delighted and fine with the surprise. They have not overthought it to the extent that you have. Yeah. I'm showing up with Lindsay because we actually are a unit. We are a couple together.

Yeah. That's what you should say in the email. It's so weird. No weird works. Randy. Yeah. It's definitely weirder to preface it. Hi everybody.

Just. You'll notice a little something different when we arrive. I need to do a little expectation setting. We will be not with child but with love. You guys should make a shared email address for the event as well. Can you actually forward it to lindsayandjosh at gmail.com where something of a duo dynamic or otherwise. Yeah.

I'd hate for her to have her own email as all catch you at the party. Love Lindsay's man a.k.a. her main chick. Hey guys. A quick update. Lindsay has informed me that she's also planning on bringing her side piece. Welcome to the email thread Matt. If you need anything please email us at our joint joint chiefs of staff Lindsay and me and Matt at gmail.com.

Hi Josh again. I have been black bald and blue bald from the bedroom and this company. How is that fair please please please still enjoy the barbecue. Whiskey's on me right Randy lol. Hey guys. Josh again. I didn't realize Randy had passed. I haven't been with the company for long enough to know that he actually died of COVID

prayers up for Randy. Tell Matt I say what's up Randy in peace. Please Randy in peace. So he can just show up on the day and they're holding hands and it's a fun reveal. It's a fun reveal. You guys have a good positive relationship. It'll be interesting. It'll be nice.

I think it'll be fine. Yeah. That happens sometimes in friend groups. I feel like like oh these friends are now together and they're at the party debuting whether you knew about it or not. I feel like people like suspect these things too. Like I remember Susanna and Caldwell they got together when they were like work together at College Humor and the way they announced it was they came to the Christmas party together.

Oh wow. Like everybody kind of like thought that maybe something was going on and then they showed up holding hands and everyone was just like celebrating and happy for them. They debuted like a debutant. Exactly. They turned the entire Christmas event into a cattillion for them. That was their wedding. Susanna wearing white gloves and Caldwell in a tux with tails.

That's right. They taught everybody how to use a salad fork and they date you with one another. Here's a real quickie. Ready? Yeah. My girlfriend is at an overnight spa session with her ex. My relationship is kind of new. She dumped him so I assume he still had feelings for her and for her birthday he apparently

gave her an overnight stay at some place that would be a surprise which turned out to be a spa. What? I heard my concerns with the overnight trip but she spent half an hour telling me that there's nothing sexual or romantic. I do trust her but not this dude so my question is what would be the best way to approach this without sounding like a jelly ass diva? Is it possible that they're just friends?

Dude, jealousy is so funny when sometimes people write in and you're overreacting. There's no need to be jealous. This guy's underreacting, I would say. He should be much more scared slash livid slash annoyed. Yeah, I think if I don't even know what I would do if this were happening to me but I would want to like loop in a bunch of friends like oh yeah my ex or my girlfriend wants to go on a spa weekend with her ex. Everyone raise your hand if that's good, if that's normal to you.

Well also this person does not live in America so maybe it's more normal thing wherever the heck they're from. Maybe but it's one thing to be friends with an ex, another to see an ex, another to stay in touch with an ex and a very another thing to go on like a getaway for a I mean it's a romantic getaway, it's a spa getaway, it's people hang out in touch. It's you nude in a mud bath in a towel in a steam room getting touched and then going to bed with like rose petals on the sheets, cucumbers on the eyes and yeah I don't know what to tell you, this is, it's uncouth, it's a little uncouth, yeah and it seems like you

already did, you've voiced your concerns and she's saying it's not a big deal. Yeah so you said, I guess like what you can always say is just like well it's a big deal to me, this is not a big deal and maybe you don't think that it's, you don't think that, this is how I feel, that is how you feel and basically she will do with that information what she will and then you will have another decision to make. Are you the kind of guy that goes out with the kind of girl who goes on a vacation with her ex boyfriend despite your reservations? I would say you don't want to be that guy, yeah some guys are cool with that, yeah and

maybe more power to them, I think I'm not a jealous guy, I would give Jill a lot of leeway without me being like upset over something but if she were to go on a vacation with an ex I can't put my foot down, she's her own person, she will do what she wants but I think I would be like this is, this is insane and I don't know if I can abide, I will go away. I really think I won't like it, yeah just thinking about it and I'm not liking it already and it hasn't even happened yet, right will you be able to have fun knowing I'm not liking it? Is it the last straw? Is it the last straw? Paul on the entire event for you or you can also just let it happen once because it's

still early in the relationship and see if it escalates or it's like yeah that was, what if she goes and it was bad slash weird, you made a move and it was like totally uncalled for. Right of course, yeah like what if he makes a move on her and then she's like I didn't like that and now I feel maybe this whole thing will bring them closer together. Yeah that's an interesting take but I would go ahead and say that like the other just, you could also argue that like this will put a, this will sour the rest of your relationship going forward because no matter how good it is, you'll always be like but that one thing you did really rub me the wrong way, you know you're perfect except you remember when you went on a

spa weekend with your ex, did you guys hook up? It seemed like that was gonna happen. That could be a funny song that you write, remember that one thing you did or something like that? Something you can't let go, oh that's good, can't let go, that's very punk rock. Yeah, can't let go definitely because it also sounds like a little trance of phrase. Yeah, right, exactly. Like I can't let go, not of you of that little thing you did back in the day. That thing you did, right, that little slight, that little aggravation. Doing that thing you did to me. When you went to a spa with your ex, like you always did. Try and try to forget you girl but it's just so hard to did.

Let us know how it goes. Yeah, keep it posted, definitely. All right, that's it, that's our time, thank you for writing, thank you for emailing, questions or theme songs, send them all down to ifirishow at gmail.com. Yes, let's hear that song again, shall we? Yeah, this is Fate on Shuffle with our song One True Stunner. That is a big thank you to Gareth O'Connor and an even bigger thank you to me who didn't write the song but wrote the song, if that makes sense. It doesn't, what do you mean? Like I wrote the lyrics. Right, let's just hear the song. Yeah, what about every song? The first four songs are

different seasons, so One True Stunner, then the second one's about a girl named Autumn. That's cool. Yeah, and how you fall in love. Yeah, that's good. Then Winter Mix, it's like a mix CD you made her over January or something. Winter, how could I win her? Yeah, and then Spring is like whatever. Kind of like a, if you have like a little, a little doing, you know, like those little doing-y springs and that's like a cock. That's actually not bad. A coil. The Moyle left me with a coil. Circumcised like some curly fries. The Moyle left me with a coil. Get on it, Gareth.

Oh, good stuff. Thank you, Gareth. Here it is. Fade on Shuffle, One True Stunner. It's like a T-Jet. Rolls and rolls and lockers. Classrooms full of jocks. The preppies all wear dockers. The lockers all have locks. Home rooms start at 8 a.m. I smile cause I know I'll see you then. You can copy my homework, I think it's mostly wrong. Freshman year I met you. Softmore year I bet you. Never thought of me. Junior year, but it's finally June, yeah. And senior year, it's almost here. I'll hold you close and keep you near, yeah.

One more summer before we go, before we go away. One true stoner, don't you know? I wish we could stay. Cause now that your boyfriend graduated, I guess he's a freshman all over again. So happy birthday, so belated. Maybe now we can be more than friends. We rule this school now, let's go hornets. Let's hold a pep rally for your heart. JB losers, varsity lovers, I knew I'd light you from the start. Freshman year I met you. Softmore year I bet you. Never thought of me. Junior year, but it's finally June, yeah. And senior year, it's almost here.

Would you like me if I pierced my ears, yeah. One more summer before we go, before we go away. One true stoner, don't you know? I wish we could stay. I wish we could stay. That was a Hidgum Original.