If I Were You - 550: Amber Alert

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

In this episode we discuss smoking, sexing, and matching on Hinge. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a head-gum original. So you've got a problem? The answer is clear. E-man. To check in a mirror. On the fire here. They'll help you out. Just shoot him and E-man.

Just give him a shout. Cool. I kind of raised like a rock fist as you pressed start on that song thinking it was going to be a little more. But not all of them have to be like fucking insane pop punk rap ballads. Totally. I liked it. I'm just saying it was not what I was expecting but I think it was great. This was a 17 year old named Jay Scully who's been watching our videos for years but only recently started the podcast.

So like he started watching them when he was like 12. Two. Yeah. Wow. It's how long we've been around. Does that make you feel old? I want to feel old. Jay Scully was two.

Who? The ukulele player. That's right. Thank you Jay for that. He's on episode 140 right now so still 400 behind. Right. Eventually in a few more years he'll listen to this one. I always say that I want to go back and listen to like episode 15 of ours just to see if we sound differently.

Yeah. We must. We have to. We have to sound bright eyed and bushy tailed or something. Yeah. Our attitude would have been. Carried. Free and young.

Yeah. Hey welcome to the show. Oh my god we're having so much fun. We're living in the city. Yeah. It's crazy because you were so insufferable early on like that. Like I'm surprised anybody stuck around because you were, you were almost like. Oh my god.

All right. Welcome to the podcast. Here we go. Let's answer some questions ladies and gentlemen. Here they come. Yeah. Like we were doing a V.O. for an animated piece. We were loony tunes.

We were Animaniacs when we started. That's really good. Yeah. I remember like I listened to the first like few episodes of our podcast. Over again. Over again. I was like recently. No.

Yeah. I was like the show's good. The show's funny. I wonder if I listen to it now if I would think that. Or if I'm so jaded by doing it. Yeah. Like we watch our old videos and some of them are good and some of them are bad. Where would the podcast land?

I guess probably similar. When we watch our old videos, some of them still make me like die laughing. Yeah. Which is almost more embarrassing. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. It's more embarrassing.

Well, I don't know. Is it more embarrassing to watch the old ones and be like, wow, this isn't funny or to watch the old ones and laugh really hard. I think it's better though. Oh my God. It's an Amber Alert. This is so random. All right.

Everyone outside. Why? Let's go. Why? They're calling on us. Wait a second. Jake, isn't this your license plate? Shit.

What the hell? This is such a sad one. Missing endangered elderly. How does that work? I bet there's more people that go missing than an Amber Alert. There's no way there's three missing people a year. Who gets the Amber Alert treatment? Who gets the Amber Alert treatment?

This close proximity to us. Oh, it's because it's really close. So there's like, no, but I hear like, oh, in San Diego, they're getting the same Amber Alert and it scares everyone on their phone. Really? Yeah. Why is this person this endangered elderly? Yeah.

Who decides to? Their son works at Apple. Yeah. Yeah. So you get access to the Amber Alert. This emergency alert system can notify every phone. Yeah. If it is.

Why can't we do that for a live show? That'd be really dope. So I changed my license plate. Have you considered going missing? Yeah. Right. So you change your license plate to jacadamere.com. Come slash live.

And then you go missing. No, I'll abduct a fucking tween. All right, there you go. And then it's like, missing tween. Everybody go to jacadamere.com slash live for more info. That's really smart. And then it redirects to a ticket link. And then could, yeah, could the Amber Alert be a hyperlink?

That'd be really special. Or it's a podcast called Amber Alert. And it doesn't necessarily have to be about, wow, stealing kids. I thought it was a fire alarm. I thought something was happening to us, but instead it was happening to someone else. Also, our phones are on silent and it did that siren. Yeah. That's very powerful.

I was not on airplane mode. That would be interesting. Does it come through on airplane mode? No, it can't. There wouldn't be any reception, right? Or there must be like latent reception that Apple can tap into. Even if your phone is off. I'm telling you.

Jobs has the availability. The ability. Jobs has the availability. You're a really bad receptionist. You're asking people to make an appointment with a dead man. Jobs has the jobs to get it done. You know that if we were in a movie screening that would completely disrupt the flow of the film. Yeah.

That can't happen in Hollywood. Yeah. What if I was showing a cut? Right. A rough cut. A director's cut. Yeah. Refine cut.

Of a film. Even a rough assembly. There's no way. Brad Pitt, Brad Cooper. Any Brad watching dailies would get that. Can you imagine that? Completely taken out of the story. Yeah.

Even Matthew Braderick. Who? Watching Matthew Braderick, Bradley Cooper, Bradley Pitt, and Matthew Brad Braderick. Yeah. He would get it and he would be like, I can't necessarily focus on what's going on anymore. And there goes our funding for our feature, which is the Amber Alert idea. Yes. Amber Alert probably being named after a lady, a teenager named Amber that was abducted.

I believe that is the vibe. That's good. It's cool. Not cool, obviously, but it's interesting that she was named so appropriately to go well with alert. I mean, also I'm not 100% sure. It could just be like a color. Yeah.

Color color thing. No idea. But that's why I'll look it up. That's why it's so interesting that it could be both. Yeah. It's not that interesting. Oh, wow. Amber is a acronym.

Oh. So it is a reference to an abduction for an Amber and then they backed into the acronym. Wow. So they made an acrostic poem. Exactly. For Amber. At the FBI. What are these names for?

All right, guys. Listen up. Amber. Who's got ideas? There's no bad ideas. So what do you think Amber stands for now that they backed into it? Are they dumb enough to make the first word alert? It's not alert.

Okay. Oh, active, missing. Missing is correct. America's missing. America's missing. Ba bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, Bah. You're fired. You're fired.

And brant. America's missing broadcast emergency response. Yeah, if I had the day, I would have gotten that They made an acrostic is a really funny way to think about what went down here And then one day the FBI wrote a poem called amber. Yeah, they did a haiku as well We probably shouldn't be joking around about Um Yeah Don't get high and mighty like you fucking you did this and I do apologize for you said you were gonna

Abduct a dream to promote our live shows you said that I went along for the ride I just made a joke about an acrostic poem of anything. I abducted you. Yeah. Yeah, and now you are you're putting me on blast On a fucking thursday no less The worst day to be on blast. Yeah If you guys are watching this we are doing this as a video Jake and I are in studio. That's right So you can be viewing this on our podcast Uh youtube channel. Yeah, if I were you show if I were you show otherwise This is just a normal audio podcast like you've always enjoyed. Yep called if I were you

This is the only advice pod on the web hosted by us Here's a question that we got okay If you have your own questions, you can email that down to if I were you show at gmail.com Uh-huh same one that j scully sent us over true for that theme song true um My neighbors in the apartment next to me have been waking me up in the middle of the night the last few nights by having sex I'll be dead asleep and then jolted awake by the sounds of cracking and loud moaning Mostly male coming from the other side of the bedroom wall

I haven't done anything about it because I don't know how to approach the situation The only interaction I've ever had with these neighbors is asking to keep their karaoke down one night But this is much more awkward I can't keep losing sleep and wanting to doze off at work. So what do you guys think I should do? Should I confront them during the day or knock loudly on the wall next time? They make wake me up mid-coitus or leave a passive aggressive note on the door How do I get my sleep back without making my neighbors hate me? Okay, we'll call this guy Ned Flanders right

Interesting Interestante actually how much sex could they be having it? It can't seem like it would happen literally every single night Like yeah, but even like three times a week To be woken up by the sex Yeah a lot knocking. I think it's too. It's a little too aggressive to just knock the note. I think is weird So those options off the table let's say, you know um You you had the conversation about the karaoke

So They know you're sort of down to keep hush. Yeah, you could just get ear plugs ear muffs Do you wear I don't I tried those ones say I can't sleep with them. They're like so Annoying and like I don't know But then I also thought I would never be able to sleep with an eye mask and now I really enjoy sleeping with the eye mask So I guess same with my grind guard you get used to it. You don't use an eye mask I don't use an eye mask, but I use a grind guard But whenever I stick the phone in my ear like it feels like there's something in my ear and I can't get

Yeah, I don't think I would be into that too, but You know, I've like done When there's been like something loud I remember like sleeping with one ear against the mattress and the other one over my head Yeah, but you don't want to do that in your own house. Nice. Not every night You can't just get the second pillow and it's like one pillow on the side the other one over the over the ear This is why he should buy a house that way you get the privacy of the home Yeah, like a three bedroom. Yeah, and then like a really nice lot like a big lot. Okay. So yeah, you're they're living in an apartment

Yeah, oopsie mistake number one. Yeah, I used to do that too. Yeah, and then I got this really sick Four bedroom four bath the the compound so you just need a home So yeah, and then I've been buying the houses around you. Yeah privacy, right for privacy for quiet I would do the gate The gate plus obviously and then retrofit the entire thing with double-pane windows. It's only like 2,900 a window this guy says he lives in New Orleans. Oh New Orleans and the property There's there's some really sick mansions there, right? He moves to a mansion Yeah, and then he can't necessarily hear anybody what's going on in the other side of the

Because then it saves you from having like a weird conversation. Yes, exactly because you're just the landlord now, right? I would spend what would you say two to three million per house something in the garden district Yes, there in the district would be really nice. There's some really beautifully preserved houses there I was looking at one the other day just for funsies for 6.1. Where you that was a tear down, right? I mean for anybody else it was it was immaculately renovated, but you wanted to do a tear down My own thing down to the studs. Yeah a gut Reno. That's right a project just for funsies Just so I can have like a so you could walk down bourbon street masturbating like you like to do sometimes Don't you like to walk down bourbon street masturbating? No

Is that you is that you who likes to on these posters expose yourself because it's pretty grainy Yeah, I can tell that it's you based on you are with the way you hold yourself. Yeah, that's right um I think you could just do something loud in your room To kind of convey that the walls are thin. Oh, that's good. Um, you know, whether it's Having sex if you have that available to you Or masturbating porn porn. Yeah porn kind of loud Clearing your throat passing wind

Talking loudly on the phone Something to it to demonstrate to them that the walls are thin. Yeah So that's that's one thing that's one thing the other would be wait till they do something else karaoke-esque And next time you say Keep this thing down The walls are very thin. We share a wall. That's good, you know, so then you're kind of hinting at like There's other things that should be kept down. It's not just this that I can hear. Yeah I hear everything the problem is when you leave a note a vague note

They know who it is because there's only one neighbor that shares the wall. Yeah, I wouldn't leave the note But the note would probably stop them I hear you having sex. Yeah, can you have sex between 8 11? Right? I love that you're that you have a healthy sexual appetite I'd love to have I love that you have a good sex drive. Yeah But do you have to be so loud about it? I once had a neighbor that smoked cigarettes and I could smell it in my apartment Where was that Williamsburg? Mm interesting. Well, like It's her fault because she's smoking but it's also the building's fault because you can smell

Smoke. Yeah, can you smoke cigarettes in your apartment? Or is that like against the rules? Um, I a lot of places have no smoking in the entire building. Yeah. Yeah But I don't think wait But your own apartment. Yeah, I don't know. I think I I think places have no smoking rules for sure But then it's like you can't even smoke outside either near a building You can smoke outside hard to smoke Yeah, not smoke like within like certain feet of a building like where do they want you to?

And you can't smoke at a park. They make it harder and harder. I luckily I don't smoke so I like the rules But it must suck to be a smoker. Definitely. They the smokers are ostracized But it's only because they have a habit that will kill them. Yeah, it's a really bad habit It also kills other people right that's and that's the reason why you're not allowed to do it in certain places And it smells bad too on your fingers and it makes your teeth bad, right? Yeah, it's really like 99 Awful Yeah, it must be really really good when you're addicted to it to have it Otherwise like it wouldn't be worth all that. Dave Rosenberg used a lot of money. He would smoke. He started smoking at 26

I've told the story before Dave Rosenberg started smoking at 26 years old I would see him outside of isc and be like this is the best decision I ever made He loved it. I guess it's a cool culture Like to take a smoke break with other smokers. Yeah, I think it I mean it doesn't always look cool I've seen people look quite miserable like like when it's cold out. Yeah when it's cold Cohen who works here used to smoke he doesn't smoke anymore. No When I was living with him, I remember one day we were like hungover. We're walking to work and it's like February Huddled outside our apartment trying to like light a cigarette

So like limp and then like walking to the subway, but his hands were freezing like But then Don Draper does it and he looks very fucking cool. Yeah, it's cool to do it Like at a martini bar or something like that. Yeah, so I think that's kind of the appeal Jeff also tells me that uh rosie tells me that like So many people that he meets in new york city. He meets them outside a bar smoking. So it's kind of like Yeah, you know, you go outside somebody wants a bum cigarette. Somebody needs a light you get to chatting I think it's a it's an interesting way to meet new people, which is something I don't ever do I wonder if it's coming back like it was

Everywhere in the 90s and then it went away and not a lot of people smoke And maybe it's making like a hipster style of surgeons. I think the annoying thing that happens now is that like In in the city you would go outside to smoke But now people kind of just like try to secretly hit their vapes in between They are vaping too. So but vaping is something that you can just like pull and take a deep drag of and then like Even if it's not allowed you can kind of get away with it. Yeah, just like release the stench into the bar Yeah, doesn't jeffrey have a nicotine vape. Yeah, yeah, it's like slightly better than it's yeah It's better for you, but it's a it's way it looks a lot less cool

Um, it's also still bad for you, but you know smoking is Be good doors, right? Yeah You I don't know you're not allowed to do it indoors But but people just do because the smoke dissipates so quickly because you can basically get away with it Yeah, yeah, but you're not supposed to right you're not supposed to And it's bad and it smells bad and it looks uncool. So this guy should talk to his neighbors Huh, uh the sex. Yeah Or you can ax bomb them

Ax bomb you tape the axe and you throw it into someone I went to college long enough to know what ax bombing is It's a aerosol body spray that makes you smell Supposedly better but kind of worse. You tape it shut so it's going off and then throw it into a room Right slam it in there. Yeah. Yeah, he could try that. Yeah. Uh, all right. Let's take a break come back after these messages Thank you to helix sleep for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell. Yes Thank you for making the sleep test the sleep exam and letting me ace it And become the doctor of the mattress Yes, uh

Yeah, so helix makes a really great mattress line and you take a little sleep quiz to see what mattress is right for you Yeah, right jake's been bragging about completing this two minute Honestly like buzzfeed light quiz. I don't how you sleep for the better part of the decade. I do not I do not brag I don't brag about completing it. I brag about acing it Because you got the mattress and it was great or yeah, I got the perfect mattress. Thank god Thank god. I took that test. That's right. And if you want the perfect mattress You can go to helix sleep comm slash if I were you for 20 off all mattress orders and two free pillows Amazing free pillows. Come on. Yes. This is their best offer yet

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Yeah, so I've been doing some Flight purchasing recently. Ah, yes. And as you know, yeah, it's fun to check out try to get the best deals try to get the best value If you're a little bit flexible on time location, you can save some cash, right? Um, but flights nowadays are super expensive Yeah, because everyone everyone's kind of becoming okay with traveling at the same time Exactly. So it's like, oh, you want to go here? That's actually $1,200 now. Yeah, maybe I would rather buy a laptop, right? So I found uh, this feature in google flights Which lets you like for example, we're going to montreal. Yes

Uh, flight back to la $1,100 of course just I need to buy two because abitone's coming across the country and that's fine. Yeah Uh, so I'll search What's the cheapest flight to anywhere from montreal? So it's like, oh, it's $1,000 to la but $299 to phoenix and once you're in phoenix That's a southwest flight away. Oh, that's fascinating But like air Canada won't be like fly to phoenix and then switch to southwest and then do this, right, right, right? So in google flights, you can just say

Cheapest flights from montreal and then you can zoom in on the map and be like, okay Let me get to the western part of america Like you don't have to get me to fucking la but get me to san diego You got me to phoenix get me to vegas and sometimes those flights are like 22 of the price, right? And you can even probably get like a business class flight to Uh, like a vegas or a phoenix. Yeah versus a coach shitties flight all the way to la. Yeah So you're saving like $900 by not flying direct. Yes, and then you can that's a lot of money It is a lot of money and then you can probably like turn it into like

Oh, i'm going to san diego. I can rent a car and still save money. Oh, i'm going to vegas I could spend a night in vegas and still spend to save money. You wouldn't really save money You wouldn't save money in vegas because i would lose 10 thousand dollars. Yeah, but i can actually make that back Yes, exactly. And then that becomes 2000. It can't be read four times in a row. This is crazy two two two two a million dollars on two Zero, you know, they added a triple zero in vegas now. Do they really? Yeah, so it's zero Double zero and then a third green slot That's not fair. No, that's crazy. The house already always won and they still the same and they give you the same odds

Of course, it's 35 to 1 but there's 38 slots now that genuinely seems It fucked up even for vegas. I'm surprised that people will bite at that Yeah, it's fine because ultimately you want to try to win cash and you're like, what are the odds it lands on Triple zero or some places call it v like if you're at a hotel that starts with v Wow. All right, uh 22 black spins. Ooh v You're like v. Yeah, when did that happen? That genuinely pisses me off That really irks me. I mean, they probably added double zero at a certain point and they're like, yeah You can probably get away they can get away without ever make 37 yellow and it's like are that are they not doing well enough?

I think not because of the whole Uh pandemic thing. Yeah, they want to win more cash for spin. Um That that's fucked up. I'll never play roulette again You probably will if you're there and like people are having fun in your little tipsy. Yeah, uh, so Uh, the google flight hack. Have you experienced that before? Did I just teach you something? No, that's good. That's really good It's it's interesting just for me because it wouldn't apply to me because I will only fly delta But I could see that being good for others But even in new york, there's so many options like you'll be like tri-state area

And they'll give you some flights to new work, but you never look like what's the flight to philly cost? Maybe it's cheaper. What's the flight to boston? Maybe yeah, and then you can I yeah I mean, I would definitely use that if it was like egregiously expensive like you're dealing with right? I think I tend to When I price shop and it's like, oh, this flight is like one or two hundred dollars more Yeah, then you like start clicking through southwest and it's like, oh if you want to board early if you want to check a bag Yeah, it's like they basically gets to the same price and the I just I'm a delta fan boy You got the miles. I got the miles. They treat me like royalty now

So it's it's hard to go anywhere else because it's the system worked and it got you completely Yeah, it got me good. You'll they they got their claws in me deep. You'll pay the premium. Yeah, I'll pay the premium Yeah Uh, all right, just some nice travel advice Very nice. Uh, okay new question. Yeah, let's do it La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la How do I get my boyfriend to fuck me? Yes Sorry, I haven't read the question. Yeah, I'll do it

This is a 15 year old boy. Oh my god. Yeah But we have that then Then you're fucked up for bringing it on All right, it's not a 15 year old boy. Jesus Christ I'm a 26 year old lady and I just got my first boyfriend a few months ago to paint the picture He's been moving excruciatingly slow in terms of our physical relationship Take him about a month to hold my hand and a little longer to actually kiss me We have now moved on to some more physical stuff. Thank god, but he still hasn't fucked me

We've been giving each other hand jobs Okay, well since this is my first boyfriend Not really sure if this is standard behavior long story short. How do I get my boyfriend to fuck me? I don't want to come off too strong since he seems very sweet and respectful, but I'm also dying of lust. Thank you This is great. I feel like he's just shy or he's just airing on the side of slow and Taking his time totally a few months ago. Yeah, I think You're at this is your first boyfriend. So one of the things that you would do In a relationship is talk

To each other, you know like actually say oh by the way Yeah, if you have desires It's been they've been together for months now A few months. Yeah. So ideally when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever You you can speak with them about things that you like or want don't want and that could be one of the things And this could be one of the things you could say I like sex right and you I don't think it's coming off it's definitely not coming off too strong at this point because um

You've been together for several months. So I think you could you could bring it up and then you'll find out The reason why it hasn't happened Maybe and then nervous. Maybe he's nervous. He's not good. Yeah, maybe yeah There's a million reasons that it could be but then the first step is not good. His dick is just Ain't it? That's the same as not good That's the third thing gets dehydrated at the thought of it. So yeah, they give him a headache nervous. He has sexual intimacy

Issues right that stem from a litany of things. Yeah One of those things could be his dick ain't it But she's touching his dick. That's right. He has been giving hand jobs hand jobs third base. I forget what third base Yeah, that's third base second base is like topless ladies action Feeling boobs. Yeah, and then first base is just kissing. Yeah first base is kissing Third base hand jobs That's a really big leap from second So it's like kissing and touching and now you guys not have sloppy second sloppy seconds is when there is tongue on

Second base, right? That's more of a yeah, that's the shortstop right. Yeah, that's getting the runner in a pickle between second and third Oh, no, he's in a pickle now. He's running back and forth. What's he gonna do? Yeah, he avoided the tag. Yeah, I mean the second the third base from second isn't a huge Leap, I mean there's like touching in between there. Yeah, but it's it's ejaculation seeming not necessarily ejaculation from the hand job Yeah, I mean in an ideal world sloppy thirds I would I no one says that but that I would it's like oral sex wet the base. So yeah, that would be oral Yeah, you think anyone's ever actually gotten A hand job on third base. That would be so cool. Oh, yeah

So you have a baseball field near your house and you do the bases on the bases. Definitely someone's done that That's really cool. Yeah, it's not like to not like during a game. No, I don't think of course not. It has to be a Not during a night. What's the craziest place you ever had sex? I would really like to know It's the craziest place a mere blooming felt has ever fucked or been fucked or been cucked I've been cucked on a football field I don't I don't really have any crazy places. Maybe like a closet of somebody else's parents house Interesting a clot. When was that recently? No, it's like during my younger days visiting a lady. Oh closet

Closet and that's hot. That's good. That's actually really hot And I feel like I'm too old and you were cucked there. I was cucked there. Yeah, so she brought her ex Henry to sort of want me get sloppy thirds while I watch God, I just needed to get a borrow a sweater from her old man because I was cold around the campfire Um, what's your craziest place? Um, there've been I think I did have sex on the 50 yard line of a football field. Wow. That's up there Half that right at right in the middle of the half halfway point done some bar bathrooms Yeah

dugout Did have sex in a dugout seems like you raided a high school at one point all of this was in Early college a dugout. Wow. Yeah, that's cool When you're when you're I mean it does happen when you're young because it's you can't just like have sex in your house Yeah, you have to get creative if you have to go somewhere else. That's true What about a fucking hotel room? How random is that? It's not that crazy

It's horrible. Yeah, very What it must be one of the most popular places to have sex really because I yeah Sometimes when I check in it just feels like someone had sex there. Yeah, I can like sort of smell it They go the ghosts of my ex-girlfriend's past Situations someone had sex in that closet for sure Uh, so the advice here is to talk to this person Yeah, yeah, I would talk to them talk to uh, have a conversation. Okay. That seems easy enough Congratulations. Let us know how the sex is or not. We don't deserve to know but it would be curious to find out

Yeah, I hope it's good And if it's a private situation that's keeping him at bay Email it to us and we won't read it on the podcast right or at the very least we won't say the real name Yes, while we describe the reason yeah, we'll give the email address that I came from but it won't be the you won't be able to reverse search that Yeah, exactly. Uh, okay. Let's take another break think another sponsor come back and answer some more questions after these messages Thank you to stamps.com for sponsoring this episode of our show Visiting the post office and dealing with shipping and handling is probably one of the most stressful parts of owning a business But with stamps.com all you need is a computer and a printer and they can bring the post office in your office

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Wow, no long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com You click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code if I were you And that gets you a free four week trial free postage and a digital scale. That sounds pretty good Thank you stamps.com for sponsoring this show. Thank you to aura frames for sponsoring this headgum podcast You know aura frames is sponsoring not just this episode, but the entire headgum network jake. Wow, that's correct I mean, this might be the goat father's day gift I think it actually is Yeah, yeah, not just father's day, but if for any not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon

These digital photo frames might be the best of all time. Yeah for me personally these things are perfect I'll tell you why as you know, I am expecting. Yeah, uh my first child We got one for jill's parents. Oh, wow. We got one for jill's grandma. Holy smokes. We got one for my parents So there are three of these bad boys Uh in our family right now, but they are They're great really easy way to like stay in touch with your family You can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen. It's really nice. Oh, that's cool So you take a photo of anything perhaps a baby and then it goes to their digital photo. Yeah frame

This is actually how we how we told jill's grandma. She was pregnant. We got her the aura frame We plugged it in jill's grandma was pregnant Really nice asshole. This was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife and you're trying to make a joke of it I was just being goofy a little bit like uh, this is how I told my grandma. She was pregnant Yeah, yeah, kind of like a she misheard it or something like that or the way you said it was kind of like Could go either way by the way jill's jill's grandma is pregnant. Oh my god, jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant It's pretty cool and you told me with a digital photo frame. Holy smokes and we let her know with an aura. Yeah Thank you the aura announcement

Uh, so you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the aura app Add me to your aura app I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something that could be funny Yeah, like your banana your dog alongside pictures of my daughter. Yeah Yeah, exactly you can even preload photos and add a personal video message that will display As soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame. Yeah, it's a great gift a really really iconic gift And right now you can save on the perfect father's day gift and visit aura frames. That's a you are a frames dot com And our listeners can use code head gum to get up to 30 dollars off plus free shipping on the best selling frames

There it is. Oh, wow. This is timely. The deal ends on june 18th. So don't wait terms and conditions apply. That's aura frames A u r a frames dot com Okay, go get your parents something. All right and use the code head gum for 30 dollars off plus free shipping right on Thank you, aura and now back to the headgum podcast you were listening to All right, we're back. Yep one last question to rule them all love it I accidentally matched with a housemate on hinge hinge We'll call this lady

Hillary hinge nice Yesterday, I thought I'd get back on hinge after a long break and just went through and matched with people who had already liked me Today I got a message from one of the girls that I matched with saying me her and her roommate should get a drink soon I had literally just hit my bong and it took me a second to process that it was a girl that I already Met last week because we literally live in the same house I moved into the upper unit a couple weeks ago and my roommate put me in a house Gc with the two people in the downstairs unit. What do you think gc means there? Put me in a house gc with the two people group chat group chat. Nice. Thanks for the win

Put me in a group chat I met her when she messaged the group chat and asked if anyone had an allen key and I did We had a nice conversation, but I literally didn't recognize her hinge profile when I matched with her What kind of fucked up fan fiction is this for context? Literally everyone in the house is queer including me and this girl. We're both 23 year old brown women Uh, this makes it simultaneously more and less awkward I probably i'm going to have a drink or coffee with her roommate because my roommate was also saying we should do this last week How do I act? What do I say?

I've never been on a date with anyone even though i'm hot as fuck We'd love your thoughts on this This is all fine Do you think the roommate knows that this is like a I actually Matched with you on hinge. Do you say anything? Oh, we just matched on hinge or do you pretend like don't bring it up? Of course, you don't bring it up didn't happen. Yes, so you have to meet this person. Well, it happened Yeah, this is this is the best atta boy you can have going into The casual drink or whatever. It's like she's been completely approved that they think each other are hot

It's like I would go on a date with you. I like you now. We're getting a drink. Yes. I gave you an allen key There you go. That's cool. It's like Yeah, you don't bring it up. You don't have to say oh, it's crazy. We matched on hinge. That's not what it's about Yeah, it's just the validation you need before you hang out And eventually it will come up ideally after you have hooked up You say isn't it crazy? We matched on hinge or you don't say anything at all and you just acknowledge that you've matched on hinge And then you go should we go on hinge or on the group? Yeah, that's you know, like you go to the bathroom and you text her from the hinge account Hey, what are you up to tonight? Right? You come back out from the bathroom. It's like nothing happened. This is fucking bizarre

You have a twin on hinge You're on twinge The thing about like it's it's only awkward if you had done something and they hadn't done something back, you know Like if you here's an awkward one You slid into their dms on instagram asking for a date and they left you on scene, but now you're going on a group date And that's kind of interesting. That would be like, okay Like is that going to come up like they kind of rejected me on this other platform? But you matched on hinge Confirmation that you're into each other. Yeah, so like going out in another context is perfectly fine and good. Yeah, you just

Don't be the first to bring it up. But if it does come up organically Yeah, and it wouldn't come up because what it and like dating apps are just a weird passive thing that happens in the background Matching liking chatting. It's all very very casual. This is you getting caught on a dating app. Yeah Oh, so you can fuck whoever you want and I can't go on tinder The very least thrender hinge twinge, okay cupid so gay stupid We should be able to use it all I'm actually only using rya to make network connections. That's I'm looking to You shouldn't have deleted rya. Yeah, the very least should have stayed on rya

That's what I hear that people are using it to like meet friends or business associates Or at the very least just see who else is on it celebrities. Yeah, what celebs are on rya. That's a fun interesting thing to see Well, it's more interesting like which basketball players are on it for me. So really avital stays on rya I use it to sort of talk to basketball players. And so does she she imagine She could chat with kevin durant, but I would be like, hey, it's me. I'm avital's man I'm a huge fan. Do you think you'll end up on the suns? And then I can use that to sort of gain an edge on the house making future bets on the nba There you go. Because ever since they added v to the roulette table, I can't

Catch a windfall in Vegas explaining myself to andre drummond over rya chat Sliding into a basketball player's dm as a fan. Will you send me an autograph, sir? Jordan Clarkson I've been following you since 2013. Yeah Uh, okay, so overall this lady shouldn't worry as much. Yeah, this is good. This is exciting. Congrats. It's actually really nice Yeah, congratulations to hillary hinge. Yep. Congratulations to you guys Appreciate you watching us if you are watching like I said, we are in the studio. We're videoing this whole thing Yep, uh, and you can listen to us as always every week

And uh, if you have your own questions or emails Send them on down to if I were you show at gmail.com correct Jay scully was the theme song today. That's right. 17 year old yook player. So Um, we're running low on both. Let's send now's your best time to get your questions answered and your theme songs played That's correct And for more of us watching jake and america videos, you can check out our patreon patreon.com slash j a We'll be back of course next monday. Yep. Cheers everybody. Bye So you've got a problem the answer is clear

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