If I Were You - 586: Modern Bar Mitzvah

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

In this episode we discuss breaking up, waking up, and Daniel Craig. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a Hit Gum Original. How do I get this off of my mind? You okay, bud? Hey, bud. What should I do about this thing I'm going through? I can always count on you to tell the truth. All these difficult things feel so much easier with you. I just wanna know what you would do. If I were you.

Great. I mean, yeah. That was awesome. You're okay. You're okay. That really made me feel some type of way. It put me in a mood. It chillaxed my attitude, actually. It's like it was bright eyes style, Conor Oberst. These things take forever. I'll just have to wait and see. Yeah, it's like that song deserves to not be a podcast intro. That's a standalone. It's rare that we get a standalone song.

That's a standalone song, our podcast aside. I'm honored to be mentioned, honestly. It was by a guy from Ireland. That's why it was good. Yeah. The Irish. They have that umber in their voice. I really love it. I think you have to have the soul of someone that just exists in a cloudy, dreary atmosphere, but all the time to the point where it makes your heart pure. A constant mist. That's what you need.

That's why we should all be living in San Diego. Blink 182 is from San Diego. You know what I mean? You don't have sunny days and then write that. The sunny days would be nice to have a blow job from your mind. That's the blink attitude. There's room in my heart for both. I'll say that. Everybody is a little bit Ireland and a little bit San Diego. That's why we should all be living in Kansas City. Ireland. That also doesn't happen. I guess Dropkick Mercies.

Bono, but just because he's loaded. All right. That was Ian Andrew. That's his name. I-N-I-A-I-N. I-A-I-A-I-N. Ian. Ian. Ian. Oh, Ian, don't you know? It says people can find me on Instagram. I-A-I-N Andrew Music. Or just search Ian Andrew on Spotify and Apple Music and stuff.

Right. It's a good one to start with. What is this fourth the last episode now? This one plus three others? Our slide into oblivion. We were talking about the late 90s musical last week. Maybe this guy can help us write that because he seems to like have his shit together musically. Yeah. We have been curating musicians for the last, I guess, decade.

Gareth is really, he's the guy that should be doing all of the instrumentals, right? I'll reach out to him. Although I was thinking about like, because it's a late 90s musical, do you think it's entirely pop punk? Or can we have like, it touches on all the late 90s musical tropes like Christina Aguilera or like Eminem. You know, like, hi, my name is like, can that be part of the musical? Yeah, that's pretty interesting actually. So then, and like, then that's also every kind of, you know, the kid, the clicks in school.

Like these are the kids that listen to hip hop. These are the punks. These are the ones that like the Backstreet Boys. Right. Boy bands. Will Smith. So like the protagonist, the main character. I guess that would be me and you. So our character, you're like the Eminem and I'm the Tom DeLong. So your character has some rap ballads. Yeah. Mine is all pop punk. Right. Yeah. Then we got some Christina Aguilera, some Backstreet Boys. Some Slipknot.

Silver chair. Freak on a leash. Prodigy. Yeah. They should all be leading up to one day seeing Carson Daly outside. Holy shit. I heard his cousin saw Carson Daly once. His cousin saw Carson Daly. See, that's the kind of good stuff that I'm excited about peppering that in. Growing up in the suburbs, nothing exciting ever happened. Like I feel like now that

I've lived in New York for a long time, I see celebrities a lot, but I remember when I first moved here, I like saw someone on the street and it was like a guy that was on one season of Real World and I emailed all of my friends. Which guy? I forget now. It was it was. It was Puck. Maybe it was his name was Steven. Puck would be famous enough that I'd still be interested. They don't make Real World anymore, right? I don't think so.

I think it just like Real World and Road Rules stopped and then they just started making the challenge, which is old versions of those people playing games. Right. Yeah. Yeah. The old cast going against each other. But I would say they would need to like still keep those shows up to feed into the challenge, but I guess not. You would think so. I guess I guess they're like, we're okay with these people being 40 and 50 years old, which is weird because that's not the MTV ethos. That's not their vibe. Yeah. Remember Real World, Seattle where

some guy slapped a female housemate and then it got kicked off the show? God. Yes, kind of. That's insane. Back then, a real reality shows were so new. It was just like these guys live in a house and that's fine. That's enough for now. Right. That's all. Yeah. We don't need to think of a gimmick yet. Imagine if seven people hung out. Isn't that insane? Like a dating show or no, they're just sort of talking. They'll be roommates.

Yeah. And then what? I feel like in later seasons of the Real World too, they like vaguely gave them a job. Right. Like in Hawaii they like worked at a restaurant. Right. Sometimes they'll be at this restaurant, but mostly not. Mostly not. They definitely don't care about the, they're not getting fired, right? Yeah, they can't. They can't get fired because they're probably also getting paid to be on the show. Yeah. I also remember thinking how sick the Real World house was and now thinking about it, like everyone was sharing

a room. Yeah. There were like four to seven people in a single room. Yeah. It sounds kind of rough. And then like the night vision of college though. Of people like hooking up. Just like you can see the bed moving, but like we don't know what's going on, but they have to wear microphones. And that was the hottest shit when I was 14. This is all fodder for the musical. That's right. So you're in now. Yeah. Now I'm like starting to, the vision is starting to get clearer and clearer.

And the idea of like parodying popular songs from 1997 to 1999 is pretty good. Yeah. That's, that is, that's the vision right there. That's the goal. Yeah. It's can't hardly wait. Only that one just took place in the 90s and was made in the 90s. Right. Exactly. Oh yeah. It really, it's a musical can't hardly wait. What a great movie that was. Sold. We should watch that for research for sure. Somebody told me that they

recently rewatched it and it was like pretty awesome for like the first half and then it starts to get pretty dated and bad. Yeah. I can't quite remember why. I can't, I'm not trying to remember what half, I don't, I can't remember anything from the movie except that Seth Green is wearing like goggles. Yeah. He's locked in a bathroom. Okay. He gets locked in a bathroom. He ends up hooking up with whoever they're in the bathroom with. Yeah. Everyone like trying to get late this last night at the party or is that American

There is a, yeah. It's sort of every movie that was made in the 90s, but I think that one can't hardly wait. It's like a graduation party and Ethan Embry is like trying to finally talk to Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yeah. And he has a letter. He's got a letter for her to give her. Which I've, that, that movie made every hopeless guy write a letter. I had, I had, I had letters too. Right. And it's like, I could, yeah, you have no personality or skills. You're not cool. You have acne. But like one thing

that I had, I could write a letter. That's a good song. I could say all this stuff. Yeah. It's really true. It's really true. It's just about being self-aware about everybody in high school. I still don't know what the big lesson to take away is. Didn't we also jerk around once? Yeah. We also jerked around once where it was like kind of like in the pop-pop version of the song. It's like the flavor of the week. The boyfriend doesn't appreciate the girl. But like in reality, it's like, yeah, the cheerleaders

should be with the captain of the football team. Like, who are you, you fucking freak-o nerd-loser? Like, I'm just a guy that's obsessed with you. So you should do it with me. He actually does listen to me. And he does love me. Really? Yeah. Fuck. We're both really hot too. Yeah. By the way, you don't know me at all. I guess not. So when he said he didn't know anything about me, no, you don't know anything about me. We talk on the phone for five hours every night. Shit. I didn't know that. You're Nintendo. I wrote you a letter.

I thought I could just kind of like poke in a raw nerve. Sorry about that. Yeah, we're awesome and we're going to have like a great long relationship. Shit. Yeah. I think the thesis is that it doesn't matter and you're wrong. So it seems like we're the heroes of the story just because we're the nerds but it turns out that the heroes were the hot people all along. They were right. Yeah, I guess it's like that was their time

and your time can come later. Yeah. You don't have to be the star. I do have that theory that you can only be cool for 10 years. So it's like you're going to do it in high school but then you could be like the was it the Jerry O'Connell character that like comes back and he's like still hanging out with high schoolers. Yeah. It's like oh you wasted your cool years in high school or like you're a loser in high school and college and then you become successful afterwards. But like everybody has this 10 year window. Totally. Mine absolutely happened

25 to 35 but it was a good run. That's a good window to peek. Yeah, I think that worked. It worked great for me. But for now we still got questions to answer. This is if I were you. The only advice pod on the web hosted past tense by us. I'm Amir. That's right. I'm Jake. Not for much longer. Speaking of 10 year anniversary somebody posted on our Reddit that One Almond came out

exactly 10 years ago today as of recording. Wow. I hope you got that domain on auto renew but. Yeah, it's still up there. OneAlmond.com I've paid probably $90 for that $9 a year for a decade. Yeah, someone's going to buy it off us for a billion someday. Okay, here's a random ass question I found and I say random ass not lightly. Have you seen the Knives Out movies? Yes. Okay. So this is a lady

we'll call Danielle Craig and it'll make sense when you get there. Okay. Hey guys I love the Knives Out movies and I saw the original theaters and watched it four or five more times before the sequel came out and I've seen Glass Onion at least three times now and I think they're perfect movies. Super well written, funny and well developed characters. My boyfriend, however, has a big problem with them. He argues that

Daniel Craig's accent is in poor taste. Specifically disrespectful and derogatory to Southerners who get made fun of their accents in real life. At first I was a little hurt that my partner would shit on something I liked so much but I understand now he has a legit objection. I think the accent was done in good fun and nothing about Benoit Blanc's character is particular demeaning towards the accent. As an actor I think Daniel Craig should be allowed to make those decisions but my boyfriend has come around to admitting that the movies are well written and I think he does have

a point that use of the accents can be harmful. I know none of you are from the south so do you have any insight for this particular instance but I'm curious whether you think Knives Out would be better off without Daniel Craig's Foghorn Leghorn-esque accent. Interesting. Okay. So did you watch both Knives Out's? I watched both. Yes. I liked the first one. I thought the second one was God awful. And were you offended by the accent? Tryhard

has been kind of like a shittier rehashing of the same thing. Anyway that said, I did not have a problem with Daniel Craig's accent. I can understand, I wouldn't tell someone they couldn't be offended by it but I also think that using the context of the movie he's like he's kind of like the hero of it and I don't think it like casts anybody in a negative light. I don't know. It's like

what do you want then? Do you want like either an authentically southern person doing that role or do you want Daniel Craig to not play a character? It seems weird to me that like movies should have characters in them and I like hearing accents. I don't understand if you're doing it in an offensive way and like you're playing him as like a dumb hillbilly or something maybe that's more offensive. Right. Is he dumb in the movie? No, he's incredibly smart in the movie.

So what's the beef? The accent is done in a loving way it seems. Yeah. I think that it's good for actors to be able to make choices and I like hearing different accents in movies. Have you ever been offended? Have you ever been offended? Yeah. Once or twice for like

somebody called me the K-word in college and that was offensive. It's not as direct as it gets. It's not like I heard an accent or I saw somebody or I read this thing. It's like someone looked at you and used a derogatory term. They used a slur. Yeah. And I said you can't say that. You mean knucklehead, right? Yeah, right exactly. So I guess that was I mean yeah sure I get offended from time to time.

But this is like an extreme like seemingly overreaction like a guy is using an accent that you have like imagine like me watching Don't Mess with the Zohan or hearing an Israeli accent and getting offended or you watching Get Out and then they make fun of white people from Connecticut or something like that. Were you offended by that? Yeah, it has the energy of somebody being like reverse sexism is a bigger issue. It's like I can understand some kind of like some representation stuff and some offensive

accents and like some casting choices are really dumb like when they cast what's her name? Emma Stone to play like a Pacific Islander or something. Yes, but by and large I think that movies are kind of movies and TV it feels like actors being able to use accents should be in play. Yeah. So overall I would say

I would imagine if you have a Southern accent maybe you're already predisposed to being offended by people using Southern accents in things. Right. But it's kind of like I think it'd be I don't know I guess I don't have like that unique of an accent but I would maybe think that it'd be fun for me to like hear if Daniel Craig was doing a Connecticut accent I think that was cool. I'd be like wow he's pretending to be from Connecticut. Look at him not saying the

T in mountain. That's all it is kind of mountain. Yeah. Jesus, you're so offended. Yeah, that's all that it is. That's all it is. It's my fucking home state you asshole. That's all it is. You don't say any of the T's in Connecticut. Connecticut. Yeah. Alright so the specific question was knives out would be better off without Daniel Craig's fog horn

leg horn accent. Yeah, you're an A. I don't think it would be better off and you know that's that's with the caveat that I hated the second movie. Yeah. But I like Daniel Craig and I thought he did a great job. Alright, let's take a break. Thanks sponsors. Come back and answer more questions after these. Okay. Thank you to Helix Sleep for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yes. Thank you for making the sleep test, the sleep exam

and letting me ace it and become the doctor of the mattress. Yes sir. Yeah, so Helix makes a really great mattress line and makes a little sleep quiz to see what mattress is right for you. Yeah right. Jake's been bragging about completing this two minute honestly like Buzzfeed light quiz. I don't sleep for the better part of the decade. I don't brag about completing it. I brag about acing it.

Because you got the mattress and it was great or? Yeah, I got the perfect mattress. Thank God. Thank God I took that test. That's right and if you want the perfect mattress you can go to sleep.com slash if I were you for 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows. Amazing. Free pillows, come on. Yes. This is their best offer yet and no it won't last long with Helix. The better sleep starts now. So regardless of how you sleep, whether you like it soft medium or firm, Helix has 20 unique mattresses just ready to go based on how you fill up that sleep

preference and they'll send you the best one and if you go to helixsleep.com slash if I were you that's 20% off. Amazing. Thank you Helix. Sleep well. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Wow. For years and years and years we've been ranting and raving about Squarespace because it's the best way for dummies like me and potentially you that don't necessarily know how to code or design to create a professional looking website. So if you're building an online portfolio for yourself or a loved one or you want to sell stuff online you can do an online

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So the best way to do that is to go to squarespace.com slash ifiru for a free trial and when you're ready to launch just use that offer code ifiru to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again squarespace.com slash ifiru free trial. Everything looks good. Let's launch it. Just use that offer code ifiru to save 10% off that first purchase. Thank you, Squarespace. And we're back. Jake, do you have any? I do not, Doth you? I think I talked about this once.

I guess I can give an update on my trying to breathe through my nose journey. Yes, the saga. Yes, it is an epic tale of highs and lows. Right, an Iliad, a poem of sorts. Yeah, so I've been hearing more and more through both Abhital and Instagram posts that corroborate the story that breathing through your nose is just healthier. Right. Like mouth breathing, of course it looks visually stupid. Nobody wants to just sit

there with their mouth agape while they're doing anything. But it's also I guess better oxygen you're getting through your nose, better for your structure, better for your health overall. I heard it's also kind of or at least my dentist said it was bad for your teeth to be a mouth breather while sleeping. Yeah, okay. So the first step is just trying to keep your mouth closed when you're awake. That's when I can literally be awake to control it. So when I find myself just in my car mouth open, I'll close it and try to train myself to breathe through my nose.

Even though I'm convinced my nasal passage is narrow. But then the second step is to try to train yourself to do it while you sleep. I've never been a mouth closed while sleeping guy. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, so the first step I did was nasal strips which wide, like you put it on your nose and then it opens up and widens your nasal passages while you're asleep. How? It's like it has little metal in it that's meant to be flat.

So that when you push it in to stick to your nose it like tries to get back to this position even though it's like now stuck to your nose. So it's like stuck to your nose. Opening it, trying to get back to flat but it's glued to your nostrils. I see. That's cool. And then the second thing which I don't know how healthy slash good so I'm not fully recommending though I've tried it is now mouth tape. You've tried the mouth tape? You were worried you were going to die. Correct. I was worried I was going to die

so I tried it just as I was going to sleep one day and turns out like if I'm actually going to die I just open my like the tape is not so like hard that it's creeping my mouth shut like over the course of the night I'll just finally like like just slam my mouth. The tape is no match. The tape is no match for my desire to breathe through my mouth. But I've been using half the night probably breathing through the nose.

Yeah probably a little less. Are you sleeping better? Well what I've been trying to do is like I fall asleep without it on so that I don't have the stress of like wearing it while I'm trying to sleep and then when I'll be told goes to sleep which isn't invariably after me she'll be like okay I'm falling asleep I'm like alright so then in my half a week a sleep state I'll just like put it on and like pass out I'm like barely awake throughout the whole process and then when I wake up in the morning it's off so I'm like I don't know what's going on where it came off or on if I'm even breathing through my nose because it also has

a little slit over the mouth that I can I can still like slightly breathe in case of emergency. Oh interesting. So it's a real baby step towards my journey of being a mouth closed sleeper. Yeah right. Well that is interesting though it's quite interesting. If anyone has made a full transition please let me know it seems like it's a really hard thing to train yourself not to do. Yeah is the idea at the end of this that your you know nose breathing in your sleep on your own or you

training yourself to not crack through the tape are you hoping that someday you go to bed with nothing. Yeah I'm hoping yeah that I go to bed with nothing but I think it's still beneficial for people who do it naturally because I guess it like ensures that you're only breathing through your nose which I guess is better rest I don't know. Now I'm curious too like if this is just like getting older and we never really thought about any of this stuff because like back in the day I

you know it was just brushing your teeth and you're trying to remember to floss and like that was it you go to bed now I've got the floss the water pick the toothbrush the face wash the serum the lotion yeah the eye mask it's like it's just too much I would love to get back to the place where you just don't have to really think about doing anything before bed

I think that's aging I think that's age yeah like when you're 12 fast food and it's just your body's like this is fine I'm still growing and making shit and then like at a certain point your body's slowly dying you're like okay I have to treat food like healthy energy source and not just eat whatever tastes good yeah I have to maximize sleep and energy sometimes I feel tired enough that I don't need my eye mask so I've been going to bed without it I think I can train myself out of the eye mask I guess I can't train myself out of flossing because that's

a good habit yeah you want to keep your teeth in your mouth as long as possible are you still not drinking alcohol is that still happening yeah not drinking alcohol dry dry dry sober yeah I actually went to Jill's cousins bar mitzvah this weekend and I know it doesn't really sound like that's a hard place to not drink but I mean family events I think people generally like to drink but they also had basal hatens behind the bar which is one of my favorite whiskies

and I refrained and it was still a lovely time and the next day I felt great how was the what was the theme it was sort of it was like sports sports theme sports heavy yeah there was like the dude tell you what I don't maybe this even for you in LA because there's like more more cash to splash around in that area but

like our bar mitzvahs were like not very extravagant affairs this thing was it was like nicer than my wedding probably it wasn't just at a banquet hall or restaurant oh no there was LA you got there the kids had their own room and then the adults had like a buffet with cuisine from all over the world sushi, Chinese, Mexican, Italy

and that and I was like wandering around I was like this is like the nicest bar mitzvah I'd ever been to and then I realized that that wasn't that was only the cocktail hour then they opened the doors to the like the big hall some of the best food I ever had they like gave everybody everybody in the family had like a wwe style entrance with like everyone going insane does that include you the party favors no god thank god the party favors that they threw out were like authentic

NBA jerseys wow which one did you get it was I tried to get a lebron one but somebody else caught it and I didn't want it and it was a 13 year old so I didn't want to make the scene this is why you got to get hammered so you could fucking elbow teenagers for jerseys the saddest thing is I went home and I bought it on ebay because I liked it so much did I give you a lebron jersey you did but this one is really cool I mean I still have the other one too but this one is

it's like it's the blue rec one that just says Los Angeles and like cursive on it and James on the back I'll send you a picture of it sick it'll be arriving yeah it's so tight so where was the bar mitzvah was it like in Manhattan no it was in New Jersey so maybe like 30 minutes from Manhattan northern New Jersey like on a golf course it was very fucking nice Jesus that's awesome

yeah also just so like the kids they're all it's I never I hadn't been to a bar mitzvah I don't think since my little brother's bar mitzvah so it's weird how they played coke and pepsi that was like the last thing they did was like alright we're clear on the floor like we're playing coke and pepsi I believe the winner got 25,000

cash it was amazing some things really are the exact same they still had the dj and three like backup dancers to get the party going the girls are all 5'7 the boys were all 4'11 yeah yes exactly did you see a group of cool boys on tucked shirts running around yeah also sweaty like all the boys all the girls off to the side and then the funniest thing is when I went to the bathroom

I saw some of the bad kids out in the hall doing something but when I came they just looked fucking guilty I used to be you and now I don't drink so that I sleep better do you guys have a water pick did you they closed the sushi bar and I was looking for 12 year old kicks you in the shins come on

I like the california roll is all my old man used to do it for me you don't have to we don't really drink the cool kids now are into books and poetry yeah the cool kids are into not drinking they're into the same stuff you are we're mature there were some kids that were just on their phones too and I was like damn that's a

weird thing I never had to deal with that we never had any distractions once you leave the house it's just like you can't look at anything the kids in the hallway were on their phones but the ones in the bar mitzvah were more adults than kids I feel like at a wedding it's kind of sad to be sitting at a table and just looking at the dance floor but the bar mitzvah there's really nothing else to do I danced a bit but the floor is really dominated by 13 year olds

playing weird games so you kind of do just have to watch you're just a bystander you and Jill should have done coke and Pepsi just fucking sprint down using your long legs to beat everybody she basically did try she tried to play with her dad and they did she's seven months pregnant they did one round and she was supposed to run towards him and I just saw all of these kids bumping into her and I was like no no no this can't

happen this could not happen so then you played with her dad yeah then I made her dad one I think you could have beaten those kids we got into a point where 13 year olds can run faster than us I think I could have I think I can outrun them for sure they're not quite tall yet playing coke and Pepsi do you remember the rules because it's coke you run to one side Pepsi you run to the other

Sprite you meet in the middle and Dr. Pepper like you can't you can't start or if you're out we played Pepsi 7 up and there was no fourth beverage yeah okay so Pepsi 7 up you just run to one side of the other yeah we did coke and Pepsi and I think it was either 7 up or Dr. Pepper is like a it's like a false false start so like you're not supposed to run but if you start to you stop you're out

yeah the amount of kids that got got by that I was floored I was like you have to listen you obviously don't care about winning you scolding a 12 year old give me the little broad jersey because I tell you the king wouldn't appreciate your lack of discipline really do they have plastic hats and sunglasses chotchkes on the dance floor too

they had a photo booth they had some of those glow in the dark light things but they gave him this dude cold air blast foam gun at the stage they had pyrotechnics behind him it wasn't like the hey we're tossing out inflatable guitars like at my bar mitzvah it was legit and then the music selection was it like modern songs like Nicki Minaj and Drake and whatever

or is it still like jock jams from the 90s or like jock jams maybe from like 10 years ago like apple bottom jeans came on and like everybody went ham for it even though that song is older than the 13 year olds there yeah but the kids liked it and the adults liked it they played Taylor Swift I think the last few songs they played I didn't recognize and Jill told me they were from tiktok and the kids all danced to that I mean for the most part it was definitely it was kind of like wedding music

the hits for everyone right whoop there it is who let the dogs out yeah yeah man I haven't been to a bottom I guess my nieces had bot mitzvahs but that was still years and years ago yeah yeah it's a fun vibe we should probably start going to more for research at the very least I don't know for what project but just for our own personal research

our own personal game alright let's take another break thanks some sponsors and answer more questions after these massages thank you to Stamps.com for sponsoring this episode of our show visiting the post office and dealing with shipping and handling is probably one of the most stressful parts of owning a business but with Stamps.com all you need is a computer and a printer and they can bring the post office in your office so if you need a package pickup you can easily schedule it if you need to sell products online

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that's correct I mean this might be the goat father's day gift I think it actually is yeah yeah not just father's day but if for any not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon these digital photo frames might be the best of all time yeah for me personally these things are perfect I'll tell you why as you know I am expecting yeah my first child we got one for Jill's parents oh wow we got one for Jill's grandma holy smokes

we got one for my parents so there are three of these bad boys in our family right now but they are they're great really easy way to like stay in touch with your family you can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen it's really nice oh that's cool so you take a photo of anything perhaps a baby and then it goes to their digital photo yeah frame this is actually how we how we pulled Jill's grandma she was pregnant we got her the aura frame we plugged it in Jill's grandma was pregnant really nice

asshole this was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife and you're trying to make a joke of it I was just being goofy a little bit like this is how I told my grandma she was pregnant yeah yeah kind of like a she misheard it or something like that or the way you said it was kind of like could go either way by the way Jill's grandma is pregnant oh my god Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant it's pretty cool and you told me with a digital photo frame holy smokes and we let her know with an aura yeah thank you the aura announcement

so you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the aura app add me to your aura app I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something that could be funny yeah like your banana your dog alongside pictures my daughter yeah yeah exactly you can even preload photos and add a personal video message that will display as soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame yeah it's a great gift a really really iconic gift and right now you can save on the perfect father's day gift and visit

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and we're back yo as we wind down our show I figure it's time to answer some classic questions not that we've answered this one specifically before but it's a style of question we get a lot that I usually don't answer but you know what since it's towards the end of our run why don't we try to give this guy some classic breakup advice oh alright my bread and butter exactly we'll call this guy Brendan butter nice in July of last

year I got into my first relationship which was great and beautiful and I had an incredible time with her we started dating at Boston but then moved back to our home in the UK long distance over the last three months or so life got really tough for me which resulted in a very difficult January which led me to breaking up with her it was messy and it went about as poorly to be completely honest as possible keeping it going for weeks too long needless to say I'm feeling pretty dreadful and I need some advice to help me get through this time

I've been listening to if I were you for the millionth time to get through this breakup but man it's tough hopefully you get around to this well the first thing I can say to this is that you have already done the hardest part the hardest part is breaking up getting all that stuff out there hurting someone never feels good and second part still not great but the second part is healing and it just

takes time so try not to be so hard on yourself the hardest part is probably like psyching yourself up and thinking about how you're going to do it should I do this alright then it's like an overwhelming nine feeling you're like now I have to do it when am I going to do it to the other person see it coming at all yeah the worst for me the worst part was always after I decided I needed to because I'd always be like waffling and then once I decide that I need to that time in between knowing that you need to and actually doing it because you're like

when it's never a good time oh she's got a test coming up I can't do it now oh she's upset about having this fight with her mom I can't do it now but what am I going to do break up with her when she's in a good mood that's fucking cruel so you never really know what to do but then it's cathartic at least for me it was cathartic once once you finally do get to do it but then you have to live with the fact that you hurt somebody so like we said not easy but I do think you're through the worst part and I think you can only make it

worse on yourself if you start to second guess yourself start to be like I should have done it a different way the point is it's really hard you were able to do it congratulations and now you're you're just you're just resetting for the next phase of your life right and the best way is one time like waiting and two like maybe finding somebody else eventually to take your feelings from that person to the next one yeah and reconnect with your friends your family people that were there for you before your relationship things that brought you joy before

then because chances are they'll bring you joy again right and also lean into the things that you can do now that you're a singles man so if there's anything that you wanted to do it didn't have the time to do because you were in a relationship now you can do it so you can lean into that stuff I'll also tell you really really basic but music music I feel like there were a lot of breakup songs that I had that would get me just like feeling amped and hopeful for the future

yeah do you like listening to happy songs when you're sad or do you like just like let me wallow in the sadness and try to cry it out reach rock bottom the best song to listen to when you're feeling any type of way is pursuit of happiness by Kid Cudi because it's kind of sad but emotional or you can listen to the opening theme song to this podcast which is dreary irish sea shanty I mean this guy's from the UK he gets it right right yeah you know but yeah if this was also

you kept it going for weeks too long now that that part is hopefully behind you it's all uphill from here exactly also the weather is going to get better which should help nobody's it's hard to get happy when it's cold and gray out it's true having a difficult January seems like a thing that that a lot of people have difficulty with so at least know that you're not alone you know it's a great song is long December talking about songs and oh yeah being sad during the winter and that one's got a hopeful fucking solo at the end

10 events with a classic Adam Durant's yeah we should definitely include that in our musical long December maybe this year will be better than the last yeah kind of crows were like 94 ish 96 all right

that's in play that's in play early but often yeah listen to music wait a while do some fun things and you'll get over it sooner or later nobody's been sad about a breakup forever right right first right a forever sadness I don't think so like I'm 40 and I'm still sad about the breakup from when I was 19

yeah that would actually be kind of fucked up it's messed up man that should happen did you try listening to long December yet the very least pursuit of happiness all right feel better let us know how it goes give us a follow up up to how happy you are in a week or two best forever also long distance makes it easier too you won't see this person seems like she lives thousands of miles away yeah that I think that's that's that is helpful focus on the things that are nearby

all right that's it thanks so much for listening thanks for watching if you're watching oh yeah thanks for submitting your theme songs your questions only a few episodes left so send them on down to if I were you show at gmail.com that's right send them while you can and we're still making videos on our Patreon Patreon.com slash J.A. of course and I'm still doing my taxes if anyone has advice on that just going through the numbers and trying to crunch all the

income V expenses maybe that could be our next podcast I don't know I think we get worse at our taxes every year because we're supposed to be getting wiser with age right now it's it's worse and worse every year I think the trick is to stay on top of it but as soon as you do your taxes the last thing you want to do is look at them for another year yeah it's all about that estimated payment that quarterly payment call your dad let's get him on the horn

I mean what percentage of people are audited Sam would know yeah he might it's got to be under 100% anyway okay let's listen to that theme song again by Yann am I overthinking it A-I-N yeah Yann, Ian, Andrew from Dublin and we'll be back

still next week I think in person too oh that's right right here in New York baby that's right see you soon later I need advice I don't know who I am tonight give me something to think about on this long drive is it supposed to feel this empty

time how do I get this off of my mind what should I do about this thing I'm going through I can always count on you to tell the truth difficult things feel so much easier

with you I just want to know what you would do if I were you if I were you