If I Were You - 64: 0 to 100

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

In this episode we try to get on the same wavelength… and fail.Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum original. New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps, plus fries, and a medium soft drink for just $8. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Jake and a mere two Jews that you can't forget. In 2010, they were big on the Internet, but there are three failed pilots to reject. I want everyone at home to know that we're still dancing,

even if the video is no longer showing it. Yeah, we're not on YouTube anymore because we're in the Zoom room and we're reserving the video episodes for when we're in the same studio. We're reserving the right. Yes. That's right. But at the same time, we're still raising our hands to get into character. We're still joyous to be with.

one another. I also, I went back to the original theme song so that this also felt kind of monumental different. Right. Throwback. Yes, exactly. All right. So this is a segments pod that we are recording in January. It's coming out in February, which is ostensibly the worst month of the year. Can we agree? Yeah. I think February is the second worst month, actually. It's got a few. redeeming factors. Number one, Valentine's Day. Yeah. It's kind of a cheeky fun holiday. Not really. I know it gets a bad rap,

but I think it's nice to think about a long every once in a while. It's a hallmark. It's a hallmark holiday. It's a hallmark holiday. It's funny that it's still called a hallmark holiday because it was about selling greeting cards. Yeah. But like, do people really think about greeting cards anymore? No. Well, it's like in the NBA when they say he posterized him. It's like, are there still posters? Yeah. Are you going to get a poster?

He reeled him. Yeah. And then the other one is just that it's short. So it's miserable, but it's over pretty fast. I think March is low-key worse. March? March is 31 days, but March is at least you start to get a whiff of spring. Yeah, you're actually right about that.

Maybe January is worse. January is awesome. Why? Why? Why do you think? It's 31 days. It's pretty cold. It marks the end of all of the holiday season.

You know, Thanksgiving is over. It's exciting to start a new year. It's exciting to turn a new age. Yeah, you start, but you start on the first. You're obsessed with your own birthday, man. I'm not obsessed. I'm just interested because it's like kind of like a fun day for me and like, I'm interested.

I'm interested in my special day as all. I'm intrigued about me. having like a day to say, oh my God, let's celebrate this guy or whatever. It's a good Ruby Jade monologue. I have two birthdays a year. I'm the only one that I am. Yeah. I've been thinking about adding a birthday.

So whenever I meet someone starting now, I'll tell them it's July 18th. That way I'll have sort of two special days, one for everybody that knew me before this age and one that knew me going forward. That's good. That's good. It's like having a secret family, but it's like more specifically having a secret birthday. Right. All right. This is segment, an audio-only podcast for now.

The last two episodes were in the studio. What do you guys want from us? You have video. You know what we look like. And are you coming to New York anytime soon? Well, I was going to in March. Yeah, it's February. It's fucking sucks, sucks in March.

Why don't you come for Valentine's Day? Why don't I come for Hitler's birthday? In April? 420. Yeah. I don't know. I guess that would be... It's a good time to come, but a weird date to make the visit around.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I should have just said... The third or fourth week of April, that's fine. End of April, right? Yeah. Yeah. Right. I'll do that.

It actually sounds pretty fun. Yeah. Do you have any trips planned or are you staying in New York for the time being? I know you like to get out of Dodge when it gets cold. Last year you just came to LA for a month. I was thinking that today as I like navigated my way across the ice on my way into work because it's been so cold. It snowed like, I think it snowed like two weeks ago now.

And it's just been so cold that it hasn't really melted. So it's that it's the ugliest time of year where everything is ice and all of the salt hasn't been washed away because there has been rain. It's a great day. Yeah. It's chalky. It's gray. It's bleak. It's bleary. And it is very, very windy. The real feel is in the teens, to be sure. God, I actually like to real feel a teen.

Dude. What? It's audio only. They can't keep it. They don't even know which one of us said it. Jake said that. But yeah, I was thinking about how last year at this time I just spent an entire month in Los Angeles. Yeah, you should have just done that. It rained recently, so the air quality is slightly improved. Right.

Yeah. It's not like Los Angeles. Let's be fair. Let's be honest. I don't think the weather in Los Angeles has been much better the last month. Well, it was 3,000 degrees two weeks ago in the middle of these fires, but I think they've been extinguished. We're getting some 70s this weekend. Come for a week.

What are you not going to come for a week? We'll thaw your phone. About the fire risk. about the red flag days. Of course it's dry. The Santa Ana's are steaming. The kindling is there and the brush is here to be ignited. You and I, we should just move to a climate safe green zone.

Like Denver? You want to move to Denver-ish or Boulder? Why not? That's really close. I guess it's also cold there, but it's like cold and a fun, crisp outdoor adventure. way. Yeah, exactly. You're sheltered by the Rocky Mountains.

Rocky Mountain High, Colorado. All right, enough of our travel plans. Let's get down to brass tacks. Okay. I thought of a segment that will potentially last 10 seconds or 10 hours. Yeah. That's kind of interesting. You're talking about a segment that will make or break us.

This would either put us on the map or drive us absolutely insane. A segment so wildly in its variance, you won't even be able to know if you enjoyed it or not until after it's over. And even then you'll be left thinking, huh? But no matter what, you'll be able to say that you heard it first here, that you were part of history when we embarked on this noble pursuit of segment. My voice is trembling because we haven't yet recorded it yet. And I'm sort of standing on the precipice, the edge of tomorrow in between yesterday and the future, wondering, holy hell. Let's live in this moment. Second in human history where the idea has been hatched and has not been started yet.

At this moment in time, you and I, me and you, Amir, are the only people in the world. world that even know about this segment. After we utter what the segment is, it's going to sweep the nation, nay the world, by storm. And we will never be the same. I'm scared to say it now because I'm worried that the buildup won't actually lead to something that will spread so virally. It'll completely change the course of not only the tech sector of the stock market,

deep seek style, but also. Also, history writ large, vis-a-vis culture, fashion, art. Trump is going to tariff this podcast for the rights to this segment. That's how important it is. How would that word? Do you know what I mean? How would that worry? He will imply a 25% tariff and then escalate that to a 50% tariff if we don't sign over the rights to this segment.

And he's going to call this segment the Gulf of America. He's already called. He's already called something else. He can't think of other names. Okay, here's what it is. The segment is sort of based on a game that I don't know if we've ever played when we're kind of tipsy, but I've ever told you about the game where you each have a deck of cards and you slap down a card and the game ends when you guys slap down the same card. Yeah, I think you have told us.

that game. And we've played a game where we tried to. Yeah. And it's like, oh my God, they're both the King of Spades. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, I think we've played that game before. Two decks of cards. And it doesn't inevitably happen every time?

It doesn't have to. And that's what makes it so exciting when it does. But this version, this audio version of that game, which again could last three seconds or three hours. Or an eternity. Yep. Is you're going to count. down, one, two, three, or three, two, one. And then we're both going to say number one through

100. Right. The goal, the game ends when we're able to say the same number. Exactly. If I was smart with statistics, I would know what the probability is of saying the same number after 100 guesses. I know that each individual time, the odds of us saying the same number is one is one in a hundred. One and a hundred. Okay. Yeah. So the odds of me matching you basically are one in 100. If we do it 100 times, it seems like it should happen half the time, but I don't think that's how statistics work. Unfortunately, I'm only a B plus student. Right. And me, I'm not a student at all. So we can try it over and over. We can try a few, then take a pause, ask what we were thinking. But basically, I think, I hope it'll happen in an hour. Okay. Or less. Or it could be much less.

We don't want it to happen too soon. I think we'll find that it'll happen. way, way far down the line. This might be a multiple episode segment. Really? I don't see a new arc on segments. Yes. Yeah. I see us doing one episode a day,

all sponsored by Draft Kings or one of those betting sites. Yeah. Or better help. Yeah, because it will go slowly insane. And then maybe we can finish it in April when we're in the same room. For Hitler's birthday. For Hitler's birthday. Okay.

Okay. Here we go. Let's get it started. One. Well, there you're going to say one to three, three, two, one. I was going to say one, two, three. And do you have a number ready? Obviously, I was going to say one, because I said one.

Yeah. And then you stop me. Okay. Right. Do you have a number ready? Yeah, I do. Okay. Do you?

Yep. One, two, three, eight. 45. Okay. We're way far apart here. Let's go again. I don't see it happening. one, two, three.

91. Damn. We're getting worse. I didn't even think it was possible. Like 45 and 18 is fine, but 32 and 91. What the fuck? I already forgot that you said 45. So now you can say it again.

Yeah, totally. We're not raising numbers. In theory, we can sort of nudge each other with our guess. Like if you kept saying 31, that could be like, okay, now I'm going to say 31. But I don't want to play that game. I want to cheat like that. I want to be truly random. Oh, here's a good one.

I have a number. One, two, three, fifty-five. Ooh. What you said 55, I knew that's what it was going to be when you said. This is a good number. I didn't want to find a good number. I was actually going to say eight really early on the game. Can you imagine?

There's something there. Yeah. Okay. One, two, three, seventy-two. That was the closest we've gotten. That felt interesting. Because we're both thinking something in the 60 to 70. I legit almost said 60.

No cap. Dead ass. I almost said 60. Dead ass? But I was like, that's two. Yeah, I was like dead ass, but we're not ready for a round number. We're not ready for a zero. You did think you were.

That's cool. I think that's cool. one, two, three, twenty-three. Yeah, that was my, that was my, like I only get one one, like that was it. Don't even bother saying one. And I'm definitely not going to say it now. Like, forget it. You could say one, I'm not going to do that.

Dead ass. Like you said, I'm 60. Yeah, okay, so I didn't want to do that. Yeah. I wanted to hit my one. I wanted to get my one out of the way. I knew you blew your wand too early. We're essentially playing one through nine, or, you know, yeah, two through 99.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And honestly, 99 is like rare. A hundred is a hundred? Is it 100 on the table? 100. Yeah.

And like, don't even say it now because I'm not going to say it now either. Yeah. I don't think we should. No. One, two, three, 86. Good. Good. Good.

Now we're on the same page here. Now we're just sticking. You thought I might say 100? I thought it was in play. I wouldn't want to go out that way. No, me either. One, two. How are you feeling so far game-wise?

Do you think this is going well? Or are you scared that it won't end? I guess I'm realizing how many numbers are between one and 100 now. Like, each one is a crapshoot. We are, we're stones floating through the universe. And would they collide? No, probably not. No, yeah.

It's throwing two baseballs in the air, the odds of them hitting each other, are seemingly one in a billion at this point. Yet, soulmates can find each other? Why can't we? One, two, three, three, seven. That fucking sucked. Not bad, I don't think. The soulmate thing right into that to be that far off really gave me a fucking inny.

I have an inverse boner, basically. I'm... I got reversed choked. I got thinned from that. My penis was frailed. Go. One, two, three, 29.

Okay. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. We obviously need it. And you're forcing it. I don't want to be mad at you, but you are forcing it a little bit, so let's take a break and come back.

You said 15. That second segment feeling. I feel like. Like, we got to at least get closer than that. 12 is the closest we've got. We haven't even said the same fucking decade yet. Yeah. The Headgum podcast is coming to San Francisco Sketchfest.

January 18th, Amir's birthday, hosted by Jeffrey James, with special guest, Jake Hurwitz, Amir Blumenfeld, Riley Anspaugh, Ali Kahn, and of course, Anya Zero. Go ahead and get your tickets over at sfsketfest.com. We'll see you out there. Stay classy, San Francisco. Kind of like an anchorman. Stay classy.

I said your name twice. Yeah, Ron Burgundy says, stay classy. San Diego, I think. Yeah. But it's kind of like, I don't know, I did my own little spin on your own.

Because it's just plagiarizing the movie, but then quoting you wrong. Yeah. Right. Well, I'm curious. There's something there for. But this is it. This is the final ad.

Okay. Yeah. And we're back one, two, three, fifty-two. Oh, my God. Something about that break kind of changed us. We were able to reset. It sounded like we said the same number for a second and then you added two. I shouldn't have.

I could have just said 50. There was nothing stopping me from saying 50. Oh, my God, two off. One day we'll say one number off and it'll be insane. Yeah, I wonder if it's right now. One number off is twice as likely as saying the same exact number. So it should happen twice as often. Let's see.

Right. So we should actually be more impressed if and when that happens. One, two, three, 77. Close. And honestly, that's the last time I'll play the 69 card because I was, I was going to do it a little later in the episode. Oh, as a cheeky knock. to like, yeah, that funny, funny number. One, two, three, thirty-eight.

We are circling the same sort of area now. The first segment was like us way off. Yeah, now we're hovering in the same orbit. We're like in different thirds of the, you know, of the roulette. Okay. Keep going. Let's do like five in a row. It's fucking boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Okay. One, two, three, ninety-five. One, two, three, forty-five. One, two, three, sixty-one. Oh. One, two, three, fifty-eight. One, two, three, four. Okay.

That was, uh, that was an interesting run. Tell me about 28. Like, what was that? Did I say 28? I don't remember. I was so fucking scared slash in my head. Like, what if we spiked it? Yeah, I was thinking about doing my birthday.

And then I was like, no, it's too obvious. Let's make it act. Like, let's actually make it random. Yeah. Because for some reason, the fives and the zeros don't feel very random to me. They feel. Yeah, it's the poles. They feel purposeful.

It's the middle. It's the ends. But actually, I'm going to try a different avenue now than we've seen before. We have not seen this number said. Everybody is curious about it. They're wondering, why hasn't this number been said? And which one of these two little fools will say it first? Well, it's going to be me.

And we'll see if Amir can follow suit. 1, 2, 3, 11. 29. Yeah. Prime numbers are just weird or... overall, you're 43s, you're 37s, like, what? You're getting angry. Who, actually 37's divisible by 19.

You're 71s, like these are not even Jersey, popular Jersey numbers. Nobody's favorite number is 71. One, two, three, six. Six and 56. That says something. Yeah. Yeah. I think I have to start going with my gut,

because once again, I thought I was going to say 56. Are you not thinking, I'm thinking either with my gut or my ass for most things. I'm either pulling the number out of my ass or I'm going with my gut. I'm getting a little cerebral with it. I think I really am. It's getting too thoughtful. You have to just throw caution to the wind. You have to be like, this is.

188. Okay. Are you looking at a keyboard or are you just pulling these numbers out of your ass? Because a certain amount, like, at this point, I feel like you're trying to fuck with me. I'm not trying to fuck with you. I'm looking at an image. On the image of it. One through 100.

Jake's holding up a grid of every number one or a hundred. You can't even think. You're just staring at it. Well, I was worried that I was just going to keep on saying the same, like, five or six numbers. Yeah. You're fucking cheating. You have a cheat. I'm not cheating.

You have a crib. I'm not cheating. I'm able to look at it. at this and decide what is interesting to me. I'm a very visual person. All right. Let's do three in a row. Right here. Okay. One, two, three, forty-nine. One, two, three, sixty-five.

One, two, three, seventy-four. Oh, you froze. You didn't say anything. Yeah, you froze. Sorry. Okay. Did you say, all right, if you didn't, did you hear it? I did not, but don't even say it again. Let's not put it up to chance. Okay. One, two, three, twenty-five. What if you said 18 when I couldn't hear you?

That would have been cool, but I didn't. I think I said 74. Okay. This is, it's starting to feel like a complete slash impossible. Yeah, it feels like I would need to make some kind of Faustian bargain for this to go well. I think I'm going to have to sacrifice something or make a deal with the deal with the devil to get to the point where we're not playing this game anymore. Yeah.

Like it doesn't feel like I can go home. Does that make sense? Yeah. And even if we did get it at this point, I wouldn't be happy. I would just be some sort of mixture of relieved and upset with you. I'm nauseous to think about the moment where we do actually say the same number. And it might be right now. One, two, three, two.

21. You said two? Yeah, I said two. Is there anything to me doing the countdown? Sure. Sure. And you're doing one, two, three, so I could do the three, two, one just to switch up the mojo. Yeah, I like that.

All right, let's do five in a row. All right. Follow this lead. Three, two, one, 64. Three, two, one. Forty-three. Three, two, one. 93.

That's the second. time you said a fucking singles digit that ruined it. That's true. I should just be, I should be, I shouldn't be afraid of the tens. I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be afraid of the ones. Three, two, one, twenty-nine. Three, two, one, forty-seven.

Oh, we got the seven's correct. Three, two, one, 56. Oh, that was close. These are I think me counting down kind of changed the mojo potatoes around this entire thing. You think you changed the mojo

when you started counting down? We didn't get one. We didn't get one but we felt like we were on the same wavelength and like this pit in my stomach, this knot in my throat, this fucking tumor in my brain it lifted

when I counted down. It just for whatever reason I feel like I'm on anti-either oxidants or depressants about this shit. It's because you have control issues clearly. I needed to relinquish and ultimately take back control. Yeah, you needed to establish your dominance. Yes. You are the alpha to my beta.

1, 2, 3, 66. 78. 1, 2, 3, 95. One, two, three, seventy-nine. Take a beat. Let's take a walk. Yeah. I think you should take a fucking walk.

The door's locked. Take it out of this room. I'm suffocating. I'm breaking out in fucking eyes. The walls are closing in. I don't want to be here anymore. I know it's freezing because. I'm recording outside, but I'm shedding layers.

I think my body is going through some sort of mental hypothermia or some shit. I'm bounding on all fours down the sidewalk. I've become half demon, half dog man, man. Three, two, one. Eighty-one. Really far. And we have a really far way to go. Yeah.

3, 2, 1. 41. 3, 2, 1. 6. 32. 3, 2, 1. 27. I need you to stop looking at the chart of numbers at this point.

I'm not always looking at the chart. Every once in a while, I'll look down to get an idea. For inspiration. I need a fucking leaping off point. I'm on chat GPT asking AI to come up with a number one through a hundred. So far it's only said triangle. 162. One, two, three, fifty one, one, two, three, fifty one.

I said it. I fucking went there because I'm desperate. I'm scared and I'm desperate. What goes through your mind before you say a number? I blink, but it might as well be a seven-year coma. I'm legally dead. I have a million dreams and a billion thoughts. I swim to the bottom of an ink-black tar pit.

The world, the universe expands and goes down to the size of a fucking pixel. And I am shot and burged from the abyss with a number. like 60 fucking 2 and then all I hear on the other end is you're going I speak to myself as an infant the infant Amir whispers the number to me I emerge shouting it like a prayer to the heavens Oh naked hair listening wet 16 What do you do I looked at the grid and I in Thor a number

I look at my iPhone and I say 42. Focus, man. It's obviously not 40 fucking two. It's something more important than that. It's 86 or some shit. You think my great-grandfather died for 42? I've been whispered through generations of Blumenfelds all the way back to the first fucking homo sapien. And he's told me in ancient tongues, riddles, languages that are.

are now dead. 11. And I have to fucking hear you. It's the dream of my 10 fathers. Okay. Ready? Three, two, one. 16.

Let's take another break. Yeah. Yeah. Let's take a really long look in the fucking mirror. Hey, we're back. we're back. This is Amir.

I don't know where Jake went. Like, I'm really fucking scared. He's gone. One, two, three, 144. You have to stop saying 11. It's a grudge. If you've actually been talking to your ancestors,

but they're very fixated. And it's time for you to break free. We need someone to plot these numbers. It's like it would be funny. It's like, yeah, they've said the same six numbers over and over. They had no idea. They've only said the same six. Never the same six as each other. I fully believe that's happening. One, two, three, 95. I think we've done 90 and 95 before. Yeah. I really think I've only said a handful of numbers. Okay, wait, sorry, sorry, go. One, two, three, 15. 19.

One, two, three, six. 26. One, two, three, forty. I thought you were going to say 48. I know. I didn't even want to say 40. I thought you were going to. I'm like, let me read his ass in the middle.

Even though that didn't work that time, I think what needs to happen now, I'm saying the number that I want and hoping to God that it's faded that you and I say the same number. I think we need to start predicting. what the other one is going to say. Give me the fucking iPhone link. I need to stare at the grid, I think. I need to get into your smooth brain, fucking ignoramus psyche. Because, like, I'm saying some intelligent numbers and you're saying fucking four. You said 11, three or four times.

Eleven is perfect. I said it. I know it's perfect. I said it once. Oh, wow. This is actually really helpful this grid. Holy shit. All the fucking options lay before me.

It's a fucking cheat sheet. It's perfect. Because you couldn't think of a number. I can't believe. One, two, three, 41. Okay. Okay.

I'm overwhelmed. This has got to be at least a thousand numbers, right? Feels like that. It can feel like that. Oh, I have a perfect one, and I think you'll agree. Three, two, two, one 59

three two one twenty nine you said 48 you said 48 a lot it's actually quite enough let's eliminate that

all right buddy yeah three two one ten I don't think we've said ten yet good three two

one 81 3 2 1 23 3 2 1 49

49 3 2 1 78 3 2 1 34 9 9 so confident

Watch this nine. One, two, three, 32. One, two, three, 77. Oh, that felt close. Why'd you have to make it three? I just,

I couldn't stop short. It would be a balk. It would be a pump fake. It would be a check swing. One, two, three. 55. That's very close. That's very spiritually close.

Thank you. Because anybody paying attention at home would know that 45 and 55 are on top of each other on the table. Just location-wise, we couldn't have gotten closer. 3, 2, 1. 3. 57. 3, 2, 1. 11.

24. 3, 2, 1. 68. Three, two, one, eighty-nine. It's getting worse, man. I think we're trying. I'm trying to predict, like, for whatever reason. It's super, super mad.

It's really hard to not think of a number. If you knew what was going on in here, you'd be like, wow, he's fucking self-regulating in a really healthy way. Because, like, inside here is a five. Rage that I am not letting out. Yeah. Like my toes are are tense and curled with the anger and fortitude of a man who's trying so fucking hard not to scream. Look, I've dug this pen three inches into my thigh out of frustration. I'm pissed off too.

Three, two, one. 51. Three, two, one. 96. 3, 2, 1, 75. 3, 2, 1, 31, 31, 31, 3, 2, 1, 51, 59. 3, 2, 1, 77. Oh, I thought you were saying 17.

There's no way giving birth is more painful than this. Because this doesn't end. At like, when birth is over, you have a child or whatever the fuck, like there's like an epidural and there's like an end to it. Yep. There's an existential dread because what if this isn't it for us? And honestly, worse, what if it is? I don't know what I'm rooting for. I might be us from now on.

I might be 42. I might be 56. In a swirling vortex of the table of the blue and white and purple table, all of the ones, the 54, 65. We should try one in a thousand next. One, two, three, eight hundred and 22. Fuck. Okay. I'm going to go on a run.

We're going to go on a run five in a row. One, two, three, sixty-three. 35. One, two, three, fifty-one. One, two, three, seventy-eight. One, two, three, seven. Twenty-four. One, two, three, seventy-eight.

That was weird. I don't know what the fuck. you said, but 70. Yeah. I was going to say 70. I was never. I was never. I looked at the table.

It was never going to be that. And like you're trying to fuck with me now because you think it's funny. One more time. One more time because this is the fucking, this is the it number. One, two, three, nine. 37. Yeah. Why does Avital be with you?

What are you talking about? Why do you have a wife that loves you? because you're so frustrating to deal with. I'm just trying to say, yeah, I'm just trying to look at the numbers. You're always just trying to say, you're always just trying to say a number. Why don't you try saying the right number? Why don't you try saying the number that I'm going to say rather than me chase you around the room? Do you know what I mean?

You're reading the table. You have your eyes on the table just like I have my eyes on the table. You know what number I might say. What would it kill you to say 54 when I say 54? Would it fucking, would it really aggravated? you to just hit me with a 27 when I'm going to say 27? Or you're so obstinate. You're so obtuse.

You're so stubborn. You're so, I'm going to stick to my guns because I need the control. Because I need the control. He's going to follow my... 3, 2, 1. 9.15. 3, 2, 1. 57.

3, 2, 1. 76. 3, 2, 1. 98. What did you say? I said 88. Wow, and I went 98. That was scary.

Three, two, one. 63. Three, two, one. Five. 59. Three, two, one. One hundred. Wow.

Wow, we both felt the heat. Only you couldn't. All the way up to the top, Hurried? Would that be... If we both said 100, I feel like that's too fringy for it to really count. But we'd also... That would be the first time either of us have said it. That's interesting.

Do you want to get it this episode? Have we said every number? Someone's got to play bingo with the grid and let us know which numbers we have avoided. I don't think we've said every number. I would guess we've each guessed like 30 or 40 with a lot of over. overlap. Yeah, with a lot of us repeating. I've said 70 several times.

Yeah, what's a not without guessing, but what's a number do you think we haven't said yet? I'm looking at these and they all seem pretty fucking familiar. I guess we've never said 32, maybe. Have we not? I was just thinking, I'm not sure I've said eight. Eight. I think I've said, you said seven recently. Yeah.

I did. You've definitely said 11. More than your fair share. One, two, three, 21. One, two, three, forty-six. One, two, three, sixty-one. One, two, three, thirty-nine.

One, two, three, ninety-seven. One, two, three, nine. One, two, three, sixty one. One, two, three, forty-seven. I don't want to do the show with you beyond this episode. I'm willing to see this through, but after this, professionally, you and I are done. My contract with headgum is terminated. Do you get that?

I thought we were having fun I thought we were getting close You thought we were having fun and that's part of the problem It's actually the whole damn problem Now I didn't even know if I want to get it Like I feel like this is The journey is the joy Like I don't even see a world where we do say the same number

And feel anything after At this point It's just about It's like scratching an it or removing a wart. I have a phantom number slash limb. So like I feel something, but it's not there, there. Long gone.

It's bye, baby, bye. Which is why I'm going to say, three, two, one, 25. 59. Three, two, one, 47. Three, two, one, sixty-nine. 3, 2, 1, 41. 11. 3, 2, 1.

19. 19. Yeah, I thought we were saying 90. 3, 2, 1, 34. 3, 2, 1, 49. 3, 2, 1, 77. Oh 3, 2, 1.

46. 3, 2, 1. 32, 1. 38. 3, 2, 1. 19. 75. 3, 2, 1.

50. 37. 3, 2, 1. 80. 64. 3, 2, 1. 79. 7.

9. 3-2-1-90 34 3-2-1-56 3-2-1-24 75 75 3-2-1

47 30 3-1-48 17 3-2-1 6 21 3, 2, 1, 29. 3, 2, 1, 31, 31.

63. 3, 2, 1, 6.94. If it was going to happen, that was it. Like, that was our best. The ship has sailed, and it has fallen off the edge of the earth. That's right. the earth is flat 1, 2, 3, 4. It's getting

further away. I feel like I'm attending my own Viking funeral. Like, I'm on a raft drifting out towards the ice caps. They're firing flaming arrows, but they're all missing. And I'm getting further and further away. Ready to sink, freeze, and die of.

again. I will never reach Mount Hala. I don't deserve it, quite frankly. Because I said, three, two, one, forty-eight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What if three, two, one, fifty, 15. Ooh. All right, give me a run.

One, two, three. Eighty-eight. 96. one, two, three, five, seven. One, two, three, 41. It hurts when we get that close,

because I know that that won't happen again. We've got one off twice, which means we deserve to hit it once. One, two, three, 84. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It had to be 84.

I was going to say 80. Between our birthdays. And then I changed it. And I don't even know why. I'm getting a tattoo. That settles it. I'm getting it that too. It's going to say Amir sucks right on my forearm.

In big right letters, 74. Wait, what number did you say? Wow. 84. 84. Like kind of the perfect time of day. slash time of ep. Yeah.

We needed to do it. We needed this for our first audio episode to be so fucking auditory awesome. We needed to call all of the casual fans. If you didn't like that episode, you don't like us, unfortunately. If you don't like me at my 17, you don't deserve me at my 84. quite frankly. Holy shit. That was bonkers, man.

That was insane. I feel closer to you than I ever have. We're forged by fire. We hazed each other. And honestly, I don't even know if this is a good idea, but I kind of, like, it should end on that, but it also like, what if we get two in a row? Like, that's also kind of fucking insane.

It's impossible, right? There's no way. Let's ruin the episode. And we'll say one, two, 53. Yeah, it wasn't going to happen. And that proves that. Now I kind of want to fucking get it again.

Like we can't end on a... Yeah, just get that rush back. Let's fucking run it back next week. I'm scared and excited to do it. If you've listened to this episode, congratulations. You've made history. That's right. You're the first billion people on earth to have witnessed that.

Go out and tell your friends. And if you want more of us on video, So we're still on Patreon. Patreon.com slash JA. True. It's true. We're still watching Jake and Amir videos. Indeed.

And yeah, you can see us there. Catch us outside. That's right. As for this podcast, segments, we'll be back next week. New men. Indeed. Stronger for what we endured. A new dawn.

A new day will have begun. Thank you guys so much. And see you slash hear from you very soon. Bye. Bye. That was a Hidgum original.