If I Were You - 87: Hardly Memorizing
Episode Date: July 21, 2025In this episode we discuss being handymen, being smart men, and testing our memory.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#d...o-not-sell-my-info.
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Listen now on Audible. Listen now on Audible. past each effort to try and stop their career from going to shit.
Seconds.
Another podcast.
Seconds.
Each app different from the last.
Searches.
It's the Swiss Army Knife of Shoes.
Knowledge.
Meet your two pathetic hosts.
Seconds.
Do you see this? Do you see this issue that I'm on the coast, second. Do you see this?
Do you see this issue that I'm having?
Oh yeah, so for those of you
who are just listening right now,
Jake is showing me his right hand
and on the sort of second knuckle
of his index finger and ring finger are band-aids.
Yeah, and look at that middle finger where there's no band-aid.
And the middle finger has a thin little scab, like almost like he scraped his hand on something.
Yeah, you can see the wound.
Right, yeah.
I have an injury.
Okay.
An injury report.
Is it an injury or was it like an accident?
Well, can't they be one in the same?
Why are they different?
Because an injury is sort of like a nagging issue
that you have to deal with.
And this is sort of looks like it might be a nagging issue now.
It looks like you either fell off your bike or scraped your hand
while rock climbing or something.
Those are good guesses.
But it was actually an injury
at the job, on the job.
This is a workplace injury, technically my house,
where I was doing some home renovation, a small project.
You were doing a home renovation?
You can't even change a light bulb.
Yeah.
Yeah, you better- Oh, that's what caused that.
Why don't you watch your tongue, okay?
Cause actually I fixed the house and then I got this injury
by punching a guy in the jaw who said
I didn't know how to DIY.
What was the injury?
Well, if you must know, I have a stubborn little hinge pin
that keeps on falling out of my bathroom door.
Have you ever dealt with a hinge issue?
No.
Okay.
Well, let me take you to school.
You know that doors held up in the jam by a series of hinges,
usually between two and three, depending on your door height
and thickness.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, these hinges are screwed into the door and the jam.
They open and close and there's a little pin that goes between all of them.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Amital has these little magnets that she puts on the pins.
Like there's a little gumball at the top of this one.
Well, there you go.
Now you might be able to see on your little hinge
that they have tiny little caps, perhaps,
as long as you've gotten your hinge
from one of the big suppliers,
like an M-Tech or a Signature Hardware.
And my bathroom door, the little cap is kind of missing.
It's not there.
So the pin every once in a while will fall out.
It doesn't fall out all the time
because the pin itself is covered in goo.
Goo?
Yeah, it's this like sticky goo.
I think to keep it in place plus the cap,
but over time the cap has fallen
and then the goo doesn't hold it.
Goo or glue?
Goo or glue, I don't know.
I think it's goo because if it were glue,
it would have dried.
Is goo named after glue or vice versa?
Is glue like, is it like Kleenex and tissue?
Is it all goo and one person calls it glue?
And Elmer locked up.
I would think glue is any adhesive.
Or will they sue if you say glue?
No, because crazy glue.
Crazy is the brand.
Glue is just the thing.
But is crazy glue from Elmer's?
Because they might have a monopoly.
You don't know that.
And super glue also might be from Elmer's.
I think they did their own thing
and then they were swiped up.
They were purchased by Elmer's.
A conglomerate.
Yes.
So anyway, this goo covered pin or rod
will make its way down through all of the brackets
and the hinge and fall off.
Thus, meaning I don't have a rod
that's connecting the hinge onto the door and wall.
Okay.
Which is fine, it's only the bottom hinge.
Only recently, somebody opened the bathroom door
when the hinge pin had fallen out,
which I usually just put back in.
I shoved the glue-based rod back into the hinge area.
Glue or goo?
I'm not sure.
I obviously don't know anything, look at my fingers.
Yeah, they're cut, they're sliced.
And it turns out that we don't have any pin
in the middle hinge either, because somebody opened the door
and pulled it almost full off the frame.
It was held in place only by the top hinge, which is-
Dangerous, too much weight for one hinge.
That's a nine foot door.
And it's solid core.
And you don't want that falling on a dog or a child.
So I ordered a new hinge set,
so I was gonna replace the pin.
Wow.
And I watched a YouTube video.
It seemed fine, it seemed easy.
I started kind of, it came in the mail
and I started working on it yesterday.
I was trying to hammer it,
hammer this pin into the hinge system
like the guy on the YouTube video.
But I couldn't really get a good angle on it
because it's right up there against the door.
So then I started just using the underside of the hammer
to press it up really firmly.
You went rogue.
I went rogue.
Rather than like sit down and figure out
if I could like just protect the site
of where I was doing the work,
if I could like put some cardboard up
so I could actually hammer it,
if I could get a seat and get a better angle.
I just said, maybe I just use this tool,
not how it's meant, not the peen of the hammer,
but instead I'll just use the bottom, the grip,
and I'll slide up the pin into the, I'll slide up the rod.
Well, the rubber just-
Met the road, yeah.
Yeah, it peeled off the hammer
because it's not that sturdy, I guess.
But it bit off and my hand just like slammed up against,
it like shot straight up right against the hinge
and all the pins.
And-
You got cut.
I looked at my hand, I thought it was covered in glue.
And then I realized it was the skin on- Glue or goo? Goo, yeah hand I thought it was covered in glue and then I realized it was the glue or
goo. Goo yeah I thought it was and it was it was all of the skin on each of my fingers that it just
like crumpled up basically been like peeled like cheese. Yeah yeah. Yeah and it was so thick and
deep and it was just open flaps on each finger. Oh, you graded yourself.
I graded myself.
And you degraded yourself.
Yeah, and I didn't fix the door.
So, Jill asked how it went, and you said,
not good, I didn't fix it, now I'm hurt.
She was right there, I walked over to the sink
and I just showed her my hand, like shaking,
I was like, this, this sucks.
Was it hot?
So like you're also sweating and frustrated
or was it not really that situation?
No, yeah, it was like yesterday.
It was like 90 degrees outside.
It'd been like a long day at work.
We're just settling in.
I'm like, oh, you know what?
I wanna like take a shower.
I wanna decompress, but I didn't get to this hinge thing.
I have a busy day.
I'm like, I was waking up at 6 a.m. the next day
and I was like, you know what?
I'm just gonna try to knock this out
so I don't have to think about it anymore.
Took the guy on YouTube a minute and a half.
So what could it take me?
Three, four max to hurt myself and quit.
I, it hurt so much and there was so much blood
that I was like, there's no way I can complete,
like I have no dexterity left.
There's no way I can complete this project.
Yeah, you were like stiff and shaking.
You had to be completely.
It hurt even putting all of the tools away,
which I had to do, shamefully.
There's no feeling like being bandaged up.
Let's back up.
Blood soaking through your band-aids
as you like put your pliers and your Allen wrench
back into your toolbox.
I'll get a, when my hand works, I'll hire a task graphic.
I need a hand, E-man.
Actually, I have a similar issue with my front gate.
It's like coming off the wood.
It's not a hinge issue, but like the wood itself is getting soft and
warped, so it's going to be.
So it's a post issue.
Yeah.
So that seems even harder.
There are a lot of these like little jobs that are like, it's not big enough
to hire like a company or something, but you just need a guy, but they're.
Or gal.
We need to be good.
We need to be real handy men and we're not.
So like we have to sort of bite the bullet
and hire one online.
Yeah, and then you just have to do all of the unseen work
of searching for them, calling for them,
waiting for them, checking in on them,
asking when they're gonna come, asking why they're late,
asking if they have all the parts they need.
You become their assistant.
My wife in the background, why is she there?
I heard giggling, can you put her on?
Are you tickling her?
At least tell me how you do it.
How did you make her laugh?
Cause I haven't heard that noise quite some time.
You might be able to fix a post on my gate,
but can you make my wife come?
You can?
You can?
All right, well how?
I was gonna ask that.
You answered it so fast.
You knew it was coming and you knew she was coming
and how did you make it both happen?
Is your gate, is it loose in the ground
or is it that the wood itself is rotted?
No, the wood itself is taut and sturdy. It's just sort of like rotated into the ground or is that the wood itself is rotted? No, the wood itself is a taut and sturdy.
It's just sort of like rotated into the ground.
So I have to lift it up every time I close it.
Interesting.
So you could probably get that out and do some,
you need a compactor.
I can come over.
I can come by.
You're already hurt.
You're already hurting yourself.
I have to like take the whole thing off and reach and change the
wood that's like pressed up against the concrete post and then.
Send me a picture.
I have an idea.
It's your idea to hurt yourself.
It's to injure my hand also.
And then yeah, this, the middle bandaid actually just fell off.
Look at the size of this coyote that walked by earlier.
Wow.
Just a coyote walked right in front of my house.
They're allowed to do that?
They are because this guy, this particular coyote tried to fix my gate.
And he couldn't do it, but he did.
He did make Avi tall laugh.
He did.
It did make her laugh and he, he ate one of the dogs.
Quite frankly, he was, that was what made her laugh. Yeah. It was g one of the dogs, quite frankly.
He was that was what made her laugh.
Yeah.
It was giggling all the way to school.
All right.
This is segments, a podcast in which we discuss various ways that were inadequate
slash not good enough partners in our lives to make a difference.
Uh, but sometimes we also play games. Sometimes we read scripts. You want it to read something today? partners in our lives to make a difference.
But sometimes we also play games,
sometimes we read scripts.
You wanted to read something today?
Yeah, so this is an interesting,
this was an interesting one to me.
Basically, we used to write,
Jake and Amir's obviously,
but we also used to write scripts called
Hardly Working for CollegeHumor, as many will recall.
And we wrote them, I think we've tried to like
find old scripts before, but they're all written
on basically the free version of Final Draft
that we used 10, 15 years ago called Celtics.
Yeah.
But I recently went in, found an old hardly working script
and I uploaded it to chat GPT.
And I said, can you make this into a PDF?
And it was more or less able to.
So I sent you two hardly working scripts.
You used an AI agent to do your bidding.
Yeah, this is what AI is supposed to be used for, I think.
I sent you-
It took nine swimming pools worth of water
to complete that task,
but ultimately we got a PDF out of it.
Yeah, I mean, I think it's gonna be worth it.
Let's see. Okay.
Oh, it also took some artistic liberties
in changing the script.
Yeah, it definitely made it better.
It turned you into a robot.
Tell me if you remember hardly working credit card.
No, not off the title alone.
Yeah, it's one that starts Pat, you, me and Streeter.
Okay.
So I'll be me and Streeter, you be you and Pat.
You wrote this?
No, I have no idea who wrote it.
It came to me from Jessica Adji in like 2009.
Okay.
So I have no idea what this is either.
Okay.
We're both going in completely blind right now.
Okay.
Interior office near Pat's desk.
I'll also read scene direction.
Yeah.
Streeter says, I'm just saying,
if you threw a rock at a piece of paper,
the paper wouldn't wrap around the rock.
I'll bet you a thousand dollars it would.
Hey Pat, you dropped a quarter.
Oh gee, thanks.
Pat bends over to tie his shoes while bent over.
So I, wait, you dropped a quarter
and then Pat bends over to tie his shoes.
This is obviously at first draft.
While bent over, Jake credit card,
credit card swipes his butt crack.
Credit card. The gang cracks up.
Pat bent over, mutters his disapproval.
Real mature guys.
Excuse me, I need to make a withdrawal.
Amir swipes Pat's butt crack.
Everyone laughs.
Streeter, I'd like to check my account balance, please.
Note, if possible, the following section should be done in one shot with Pat's face in the foreground
with and everyone else behind him facing his butt.
Pat is oblivious to what's going on behind him concentrating on the coin.
Streeter swipes Pat's butt crack.
Everyone laughs.
Then Streett pulls out a slip of paper from Pat's butt.
Hey Streeter, what's that?
It's my balance.
It says zero.
Zero, but we just got paid.
There has to be some mistake.
Street pulls out his hand and swipes Pat's butt again.
He pokes Pat's right butt cheek like it's a keypad.
Oh my God.
What does it say?
It says my account was emptied 15 minutes ago.
Someone hacked into my account.
What am I going to do?
Listen, don't worry.
I can lend you some cash until everything gets straightened out.
Jake swipes his hand in Pat's butt, poking his butt cheek.
You don't have to do that really.
I know I don't have to.
I want to.
God, this is the most embarrassing thing that could ever happen to a person.
Pat to himself.
Wow.
A Minnesota state quarter.
They stopped minting these in 2005.
It's 200 bucks, okay?
Yeah, that's fine.
God, I can't believe this.
I feel so exposed.
Jake lifts a wad of 20s out of Pat's butt
and hands it to Streeter.
Don't worry, Street, everything will be fine.
Just call Patrick's butt in the morning
and explain what happened.
No, we can break the one shot here if need be.
Jeff from behind them interrupts.
You can be Jeff.
I'm sorry.
Are you three actually using Patrick's butt
or are you just standing in front of it?
Oh, sorry about that.
Someone hacked into my account and-
Do I look like someone who cares?
Suddenly Dan wearing pantyhose wraps his arm
around Jeff's neck and puts his finger
to his temple.
The gang gasps.
Dan, hands up everybody.
Get out your credit cards now.
Listen, we'll do whatever you want.
Just don't hurt us.
The gang piles their hands on top of each other on Dan's open palm like a pile of cards.
Oh, that's our cards.
I see.
Dan to Amir, you swipe yours.
Amir swipes Pat's butt.
Empty your savings.
But my grandmother gave me that.
Just do it.
Back to the frontal.
Back to the frontal shot with Pat in the foreground
as Amir pokes Pat's butt and takes out a huge wad of money
from his ass.
My grandmother's gonna cry when she sees this.
Pat to himself, you know, going to cry when she sees this. Pat to himself.
You know, due to a die error, certain Minnesota quarters include three extra,
sorry, include extra trees.
Now get down on the ground and count to a hundred.
The gang lies down just as Pat is standing up.
What are you guys doing down there?
You look totally ridiculous holding the quarter.
Can someone deposit this into my butt?
All right.
Did that really come out?
That's a good question.
Did that script come out?
Let's see.
It does definitely sound like something we would make.
Yes, it did.
Are they working credit card?
It's a minute and 51 seconds.
Yeah.
We must have edited it very tightly. I guess we probably did.
I really wonder who wrote that. Okay.
It feels like a Dan or a Pat because Pat is the butt literally of the joke.
I'm afraid to read the next one.
Why? But it's incredibly offensive. It's well, it's five pages long.
Just like this one.
Okay. What's this next one called? Okay. The next one is also in your email.
It's called obnoxious kit.
Okay. The gang sits around a coffee conference table.
Okay. I'll be Streeter again.
Streeter says, look, I realize that taking the site
off the internet doesn't seem like the best business plan,
but we need to be thinking about,
Streeter notices Dan not paying attention.
He's leaning against the window.
Dan, could you sit down with the rest of us?
Dan whiny.
What? I'm not doing anything.
I'm just standing.
It's distracting.
Standing is distracting.
It's not illegal to stand.
Jeff says, he's got you there, Streeter.
I know it's not illegal,
but he's gonna smudge the window. That's a pat line. I know that's not illegal, but he's gonna smudge the window.
That's a Pat line.
I know that's a Pat line.
Oh my God, I'm not even touching the window, look.
Dan motions for Pat to back him up.
Pat gets up and waves his hand between Dan and the window.
Yep, he's telling the truth.
Whatever, fine, stand there.
All I'm proposing here is that we take the site down
for three, four years tops.
In that time, we can, Dan walks up behind Streeter
and holds a finger to the back of his head.
Dan, stop touching me.
I'm not touching you.
Yes, you are.
Oh my God, I'm not even touching you.
Sarah gets up, leans over and examines the situation.
He's right, technically he isn't making contact.
Dan, if you could just sit down and stop being-
Dan slapped Streeter.
What the hell?
I'm not allowed to move my hands?
You're allowed to move your hands, but you can't just hit me, dude.
This is sort of reminiscent of mime.
I wonder who stole which.
Oh, I'm just supposed to know what my hand is going to do.
Yes, tree.
It's like when you fall asleep on your arm and you lose feeling in it.
He wasn't sleeping.
He had total control.
Dan Slapstreeter again.
Sorry. I guess I should have controlled that. Jeff turns to Pat. Epic burn.
Streeter stands up.
Dan, would you just sit down so we can focus?
This is the future of the website we're talking about.
Oh, fine.
Dan begrudgingly takes a seat.
Thank you.
So in order to move forward, we're going to need Streeter's distracted.
Dan, are you murdering Patrick?
Dan is on the conference table strangling Pat.
Is there a problem?
No, there isn't.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not. I'm, we're going to need Streeters distracted. Dan, are you murdering Patrick?
Dan is on the conference table strangling Pat.
Is there a problem?
Uh, yeah.
Oh my God, how am I not supposed to not murder Patrick? His face is distracting everyone.
Patrick, he's right Street. Better to just let him finish the job.
We're not going to let him kill you, Pat.
Ugh, fine. Dan lets go of Pat and sits with everyone. Suddenly Jake enters the room in a panic.
Whoa, I thought I wasn't gonna be in it.
You guys, I have very little time to explain.
The building is going to explode if we don't,
Streeter says, if we don't what?
I say, sorry, I lost my train of thought.
I was looking at Pat's face.
Dan, oh my God, I told you.
Cut to office exploding, what? God, I told you, cut two, office exploding?
What?
Whoa, okay.
So, how am I not supposed to murder Pat's face?
It's distracting everyone.
And it turns out that it was distracting me
and I was gonna warn you guys
that the office was gonna explode and I didn't get to.
So Dan was right all along.
to explode and I didn't get to.
So Dan was right all along.
But the office would have exploded instantly anyway, it seems. Do you think we shopped this one?
Um, I think so.
Interesting.
Let's find out.
Obnoxious kid.
These were both, I think either written by Dan or Pat.
I feel like they were both, um, I feel like it was Dan and Pat Collapse almost. Yeah,
they follow a very specific like comedy structure of like escalating beats and then ending with a
funny note. We honestly must have changed the the name of it because it's like it's based on this
like bully type character. I thought it was going to be like a kid who asked about the homework
assignment but it's definitely based on like I'm not touching you was gonna be like a kid who asked about the homework assignment, but.
It's definitely based on like, I'm not touching you,
I'm just like a millimeter away from your face.
So you can't get mad at me.
I can't stand up, I'm not touching the window.
It's there's so many, I'm not touching you things.
A lot of being annoying as a kid was based on kind of,
but not actually touching people.
Yeah, we've done that before too.
We're like, you say you're not touching me, but then you are touching me a lot.
Right.
Or like in mine where I'm like not talking, but then I'm screaming a lot.
Yeah.
I think I'm like, you're yelling like I'm aggravated.
Like, yeah.
So still you're yelling.
Exactly.
Uh, all right.
Two solid EPs. Let's, uh, let's shoot them. Yeah. Uh, all right. Two solid apps.
Let's, uh, let's shoot them.
Yeah.
Is that crazy?
I mean, all we have to do is get the gang back together for a quick little, um,
17 year old sketch comedy shoots.
Wild reading those brought nothing back.
And I had many lines.
Not even joy.
I feel like I'm reading them and they're all strangers to me.
Well, we must've improvised a lot on the day.
them and they're all strangers to me.
Well, we must've improvised a lot on the day.
Or we shot three of these in one afternoon in 2008.
You don't remember that because I was 18 years ago.
That could be too.
Uh, okay. Let's take a break, come back and play a game that I invented.
If you can believe it.
Whoa.
And we're back.
Okay.
Have you heard of the game 11?
No, exactly.
Because I just made it up and I barely know the rules.
Got it.
Okay.
So here's what I want you to do.
Yeah.
Uh, write down mash.
Uh, actually I'll do it first.
I can, you can see this way.
I'm going to mash 11 digits in a row.
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, 10, 11.
All right, great.
So I mashed 11 digits in a row.
I'm gonna repeat them to you one by one.
So I'll start with one digit, you repeat it back.
Two digits, you repeat it back.
Three, and then all the way to 11.
If you get to 11, that's an 11.
That's the best you can do.
If you end up going short of that,
you're considered a loser and you haven't won the game.
You're a guns. If you should end at seven or eight,
I can try to then top or beat your score
without getting to an 11.
But the goal of course, the theoretical maximum is 11.
If it turns out that it's easy to do 11,
we'll try playing a new game I invented called 12.
Cool.
But I'll go over those rules later.
This is gonna be very hard for me.
I'm calling it now.
How's your memory in general?
Bad.
Short term, long term.
I mean, I feel like your long term memory is good.
You're like, I remember that shirt from that episode because I bought it that day.
My long-term memory is great.
Short-term, very bad.
So like if something is baked into your brain,
you'll never forget it, but like everything since then
is just floating like dandelion in the wind.
Yeah, somebody asked me what I did last weekend.
I don't know.
Got it.
Okay.
So we'll start with, I mean, it starts really easy.
Just one digit.
Three. Okay. Can I have a lifeline? Got it. So we'll start with, I mean, it starts really easy. Just one digit.
Three.
Okay.
Uh, can I have a lifeline?
Oh my God, you already can't fuck you. You remember?
All right.
Three.
Easy.
Done.
Yeah.
Three zero.
Okay.
30.
Three zero four.
Three or four.
No problem.
Three or four nine.
That's actually kind of cool because I wanted it to be nine.
Three zero four49. Right. At this point you feel like seven is right around the corner. Maybe like 11 is easy.
Right. 30498. Okay. 30498. I should say you guys can play at home. I often forget to mention that, but yeah, feel free to play along. 304985.
Okay.
That's interesting.
This is six of 11.
304985.
That's good.
This is like, you know, when they send you like a text message or six digit code and
you're like, I don't know if I can like a text message or six digit code. Yeah.
And you're like, I don't know if I can copy and paste it
or just memorize it.
I like sort of just have it and I can like carry it
like short-term memory.
Like I'm holding water in my hand.
You're trying to distract me.
Don't talk to me.
No small talk.
304985.
3049853.
Okay.
3049853. Great. 3049853.
Great.
30498532.
Okay.
30498532.
No, not 98532.
Excuse me.
Correct.
304985327.
304985327. 304-985-327.
Good job, you're at nine.
304-985-327-0.
304-985-327-0.
Holy shit, you're at 10 this is a lot fucking more exciting
than I thought when I invented the game 11 you know yeah for sure I'm not gonna
get the last one what's that I won't get the last 304 9853-2704. 304-985-32074.
I'm sorry, Jake.
He got the last four digits wrong.
It was 304-985-32702. That's going to happen. That's going to happen.
I mean, it kind of justifies the game being 11 and not 10 because 10 is a phone number
you can memorize.
11 you really, really got to commit it to memory.
And the interesting part is because this is your short-term memory,
in like 30 seconds, you won't even remember the first digit,
let alone the first eight or nine like you did.
I'm trying to, I'm gonna come up with the most insane number.
Oh my God, it's gonna be so fucking random.
No repeating digits or anything.
Yeah.
Also, I should say, feel free to cheat a little bit.
Write yourself little reminders.
Like if you write down the first five, six, seven digits,
just to get things squared away in your brain,
if that's something.
Yeah, I was writing down most of them.
I still couldn't nail it, but I got pretty close.
How about this for a first number?
Four, one.
One is easy, because that's the first number.
You basically made the game a 10 for me,
because I'll always remember one as the first number,
because one is one.
So like all I have to do is memorize the next 10.
I've already forgotten one,
I just know that it's gonna be one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, how about the second number?
Six.
That's great, 16.
Okay, so I have Pau Gasol wearing 16 number jersey,
and then I just have to
memorize this nine digit code.
Thank you.
One six four.
Okay.
Four four is easy.
Cause it's like Pau Gasol scoring four points.
So one six four.
Okay.
Now I just got to memorize.
No, I'm creating a memory palette.
Cause so like, I just have to memorize.
Two rings.
The number is one six 42.
Oh, that's great.
Pau Gasol James Worthy. So it number is 1642. Oh, that's great. Paugasol James Worthy.
So it's 1642.
And now I just have to memorize a seven digit code.
That's pretty good.
I've created a memory that creates a something that's easy to fucking put into
my brain.
16425.
Robert Ory.
Even easier.
So it's Paugasol high-fiving James Worthy and Robert Ory. Congratulations.
The easiest six digit code.
Three guys, but what about this fourth guy? 164254.
Shit. Who was it? Rafael Nadal? 164254.
Easy to remember because 5-4 is Tom Cruise's height
and he's on the team too.
And he watched T2 19 times times 4 is 57.
1642549.
1642549. 1642549.
How many did you just add?
You're at seven.
Holy shit.
Okay, I just have to memorize the last four.
16425492.
See, now you're trying to say it
in like a different cadence to mess me up. But I don't trying to say it in like a different cadence
to mess me up.
But I don't have to repeat it in that cadence.
You can do whatever you want.
One, six, four, two, five, four, nine, two.
You almost didn't get it.
How many digits do I have left?
You have three to go.
Easy.
164, 254, 92, 7.
Oh, okay.
Because I've created, constructed this memory palace,
that's so easy to call back.
Pau Gasol high-fiving James Worthy,
Robert Horry, Tom Cruise's height, the number
two.
So it's just like string it all together.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
You're falling apart.
We're too confident.
Too confident.
Is that a clue?
One six.
You were nine confident.
One six is the first two digits, right?
Yeah.
Four two, five, four nine,
seven.
Palgasol is melting away.
Seven, two, and now just the last digit you said, right?
Uh, you have said nine digits in almost the right order, but your
memory palace has caved in because it was 2-7, not 7-2.
Fuck!
Yeah.
Now Paugasol and Robert Ori are high-fiving me.
I'm on Tom Cruise's small shoulders.
We're standing on the shoulders of giants.
This is how people memorize full decks of cards, but I guess they're better at it than
we are.
Should we try another round?
Yeah, let's do it.
I feel like I had it though.
Now that I don't have it.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11.
All right.
This is, I mean, I'm looking at it.
This is a really hard sequence.
Okay.
How about this?
We won't, we'll just, instead of talking, which kind of is kind of tripping us up.
Yeah.
We just play raw play raw.
Ready?
Yep.
Eight, eight, eight, four, eight, four, eight, four, nine, eight, four, nine,
eight, four, nine, one, eight, four, nine, one, eight, four, nine, one, oh,
eight, four, nine, one, oh, eight, four, nine, one, oh, one, 84. 84910. 84910.
849101.
84-9101.
8491019.
8491019.
84910194.
84 91 0914.
I believe it was 0194 and you said 09.
I got tripped up thinking it was going to be easier to start doing 84 91.
Yeah.
It's the single digits would have been a lot easier.
How about you motherfucker?
It's time to start with three.
Three.
Shit, really?
Three, seven.
Three, seven.
Three, seven, one.
I'm just gonna close my eyes and fucking power through.
Three, seven, one.
Three, seven, one, nine.
Three, seven, one, nine.
Three, seven, one, nine, four.
Three, seven, one, nine, four. Three, seven one nine four three seven one nine four three seven one nine four two three seven one nine four two three seven one nine four two six three seven one nine four two six three seven one nine four two six three seven one nine four two six five three seven.
Three, seven.
I just lost it. I had it like a jank of a tower.
I was drawing it in my mind's eye and then it faded away and there's no bringing it back.
Because I didn't lock it to anything.
The record stands at my 10.
Isn't that cool?
I think the memory palace is the way to go, but like it's the last four digits
that's built on this pretty flimsy base that makes it's like putting Legos on
top of each other at a certain point.
It becomes so wobbly.
The whole thing falls down.
Yeah.
I mean, I, I know my license plate and sometimes I like get tripped up.
Yeah.
It's hard to do this.
Okay. Why don't you try the memory palace thing? Yeah. It's hard to do this. Oh.
Okay, why don't you try the memory palace thing. Okay. Maybe it'll help.
All right.
So like assign every three digits to something.
No problem.
Okay.
Seven.
Okay, seven.
Seven two.
Seven two.
Shaq's height.
He is seven foot two.
Shaq.
Seven two, nine two. 7'2, nine two.
Oh, sorry, two more.
7'2, nine.
Okay, it's too late.
Are you gonna give me that too?
Yeah, I'll go 7'2, nine two.
Okay, 7'2, nine,
I'm imagining Shaq holding up a 92 year old man.
7'2, nine two.
Great, it's built in.
7'2, nine two, nine, two. Great. It's built in seven, two, nine, two, nine, seven, two, nine, two, nine,
seven, two, nine, two, nine, eight.
Okay.
Seven, seven, two, nine, two, nine, eight.
Shack is holding up to very old men.
Oh, seven, two, nine, two, nine, eight, eight, seven, two, nine, two, nine, old men. Uh oh. 7292988. 7292988. Correct. You still building the memory or it's a sort of...
Yeah, no, it's, it's, uh, the number eight is in my license plate, so right now it's Shaq holding
up these two old men and I'm driving towards them. Okay. I'm gonna plow into them. Ha ha ha. 7-2, 9-2, 9-8, 8-4.
Okay.
7-2, 9-2, 9-8, 8-4.
Correct.
You're riding shotgun.
You were born in 83, but I'm imagining you were born in 84.
It's the year between the two of us.
This is what makes things get dangerous.
You start changing things.
It's fine.
Yeah, four digits left.
It's fine.
Seven, two, nine, two, nine, eight, eight, four, two.
Okay, seven, two, nine, two, nine, eight, eight, four, two.
Correct.
Three digits left.
Seven, two, nine, two, nine, eight, eight, four, two, two nine eight eight four two two okay seven two nine two nine
eight eight four two two correct cuz Gemma's two she's in the back seat of
the car there's two of us you're okay you're nine digits deep. Okay. 7292-988-4223.
7292-9884-223.
Holy shit, you're at 10. 7292-9884-2238. 10, 7, 2, 9, 2, 9, 8, 8, 4, 2, 2, 3, 8.
Okay.
7, 2, 9, 2, 9, 8, 8, 4, 2, 2, 3, 8.
Correct, that's 11.
Yes, dude.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
Wow.
You wanna know my memory palace?
Yeah, well, you were sort of describing it. Shaq holding up. Yeah, well you were sort of describing it.
Shaq holding up.
Yeah, well it changed a little bit.
So Shaq was holding up two old men
in his right hand and his left hand,
a 92 year old and a 98 year old.
84 I was just kind of, you know,
that's a birth year-ish.
Yeah, were you born in 84 or 83?
83, yeah.
Okay, yeah, but 84 is just birth year-ish.
Then 2'2", Brennan Johnson,
one of my favorite players from Tottenham,
that's his number, Jersey 22.
So I imagined him in the back seat with us
driving towards Shaq.
And then 38, I was just like, that's my age,
even though it's not.
So two of them have to do with ages that are kind of not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wasn't your screen name something with 38?
Oh yeah, big 38 Jake.
Yeah, why?
I think the girl that I had a crush on
or was dating in middle school,
her initials were CH,
the third letter and the eighth letter of the alphabet.
That's awesome.
Yeah, that could have been another way
for you to memorize it.
It's true.
Do you wanna try?
Oh, fine.
Okay. Okay.
Give me one last, I'll try to memory palace it up.
I remember reading that memory book
and this is how they memorize a deck of cards,
that each card has a person, action and object.
So you're like, all right, the first three cards
are Albert Einstein eating a pie in my foyer,
and then I walk to the stairs
and it's Michael Jordan punching a fruit loop.
I remember reading this too.
I'm like, it sounds like that's also a lot to remember.
Right, but it's, I guess, easier to remember random digits.
Yeah, okay, let's see what happens.
By the way, we've done 11, they do a 52 deck.
Yeah.
Two?
Two.
Yeah, two nine.
Two nine, that's good,
cause it's like a two nine fish sandwich.
So it starts with somebody eating a two nine fish sandwich.
Let's see what it is.
Two nine one.
Two nine one.
Two nine one six.
Two nine one six, again, Pau Gasol eating a two nine fish sandwich.
Two nine one six.
Oh 16.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Two nine one six.
Oh, two nine one six.
Oh, two nine one six.
Oh seven.
Okay.
Two nine one six.
Oh seven Lamar Odom.
Uh, I'll just do two digit codes every time.
Yeah.
So it's, uh, Lamar Odom and Pau Gasol eating a two-digit, a 2-9 fish sandwich.
Okay.
2-9-1-6-0-7-5.
Okay.
Again, the Robert Orea 5, but let's see what the next digit brings, but it's 2-9-1-6-0-7-5.
2-9-1-6-0-7-5-8.
Okay.
That's your birthday.
Again, switched.
So it's 29160758, which is your back, your thing backwards.
It's also your height.
Five eight, that's not true.
291607584.
Okay.
What is this for?
I'll ask.
So it's 291607584.
Nice.
You got two to go.
Two, nine.
Oh, I'm already at nine?
Yeah.
This is easy now.
Okay.
Yeah, that's all right.
2916075843.
Easy, Michael Thompson.
2916075843.
So it's easier to think of it as five two-digit numbers.
So now I just have to add something to that one digit.
29160758432.
29160758432.
Keep it going.
Ding, ding, ding.
Keep it fucking going.
29. I'm not even close to done.
29160758432.
Seven.
Again, as long as it's basketball players, I can just I think I can go through
an entire fucking pie to the 10,000th digit. 2916-07-584327.
2916-07-5843274. 2916-07-5843274. Five eight four three two seven four. Two nine one six oh seven.
Five eight four three two seven four.
Okay.
Let's see if I can think of another number.
I'm running out of fucking digits.
Okay, two nine one six oh seven.
Five eight four three two seven four eight.
Two nine, the sandwich.
I'll never forget that sandwich,
that two, nine fish sandwich.
Two, nine, one, six,
oh, seven, five, eight,
four, three, two, seven, four, eight.
No, that's wrong.
What?
That was wrong.
Two, seven, four, eight.
Two, is there another? Two, seven, four, eight. Two, is there another?
Two, seven, four, no, I think you said four.
Oh God, now I have to play it back.
I think you said four, I think it was wrong.
I really think it was wrong.
Okay, let me say it again.
Let me say it again as I said it.
Two, nine.
One, six.
Oh, seven, five, eight, four, six, oh seven, five eight, four three, two seven, four eight. Wow.
Okay.
That was right.
Okay.
Thank you.
Two nine one six, oh seven five, eight four three, two seven four, eight oh. 291607584327480 2916075843274806
2916075827434806.
You stumbled.
You switched 43 and 27. Yes, I did four three two seven
instead of two seven four three.
Okay, all right.
No, you actually did two seven four three
instead of four three two seven.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, I forgot the order of the basketball players
standing shoulder to shoulder.
So these were all basketball players.
Yes, it was a series of Jersey numbers.
All right, wait, it's two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.
That's pretty good.
16.
The palgazole comes back.
If people liked this, we could see how high we could go,
but I guarantee everyone hated that.
Because it was boring to hear.
It was just us saying numbers.
It was maybe even worse than when we just tried
to guess a number, the same one.
Because there wasn't the joy of saying the same number
at the same time.
Yeah, we were just sort of repeating numbers back and forth.
Right.
And at a certain point, this always happens.
We have fun playing the game and we forget
that we're making a podcast, but I enjoyed that.
Yeah, it's either gonna be us for the audience
and sometimes we have to slide the thing
all the way down to us.
Speaking of debatably entertaining,
on our Patreon today, we did a bonus segment again,
which is us doing a crossword puzzle.
That's right, that's right.
Another time where we played a game.
I think that one is, I mean, I had a great time.
Yeah.
I really had a great time.
So I hope you'll watch it.
I hope you'll enjoy it.
That one is more than just digits.
So maybe there's hope for that yet, but-
There's some words there.
Let us know.
We're shooting video on these
Patreon segment episodes.
So you can tune in and see that.
That's true.
So there's that at the very least.
Okay, so that is available to y'all.
We're also doing more Jake and Amir watches
at patreon.com slash JAA.
Thank you for sticking with us through the audio version
of us repeating credit card digits.
I should say these are,
those were all your credit card numbers.
Yes.
That's where I got them.
Yes. Exactly.
So if you memorize them as well,
congratulations to those who played along.
You can purchase whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah. That's the expiration and the CCC, CVC.
What does that mean?
CVV.
Yeah, that secret number that is unable to be memorized.
You have to read it on the day,
otherwise they'll steal your information.
Thank you to you guys for listening
and we'll be back next week at 0916-2547-0500 hours
next week at 0916-2547-0500 hours at 3 08 05. See you guys there! Woo!
That was a Hidgum Original.