If I Were You - Bonus: Bad Teeth (w/Reilly Anspaugh!) 2018

Episode Date: July 3, 2023

Fellow HeadGum-er Reilly Anspaugh is in the studio to talk about bad kissers, good hygiene and horrible details about the Twilight Franchise. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gamma region. What is this a new if I were you podcast? Well, kind of. These are episodes that were living behind our Patreon for the last five years and we figured why not release some of the best ones onto this feed to reward those of you that never gave up. That never unsubscribed so please enjoy this classic episode of If I Were You recorded at our old studio in 2018.

All right, ready? Yep. If I were you if I were you I'll tell you what I want to If only I were you sure that I'm alright enough fucking around welcome to the shit zone We're gonna answer your awesome as questions and we're gonna get to the bottom of it But do you have what it takes to the duck? Do you got it Riley? I didn't know this is what I was getting into yeah The door oh my god The door no, I can't know this is what I was getting into. Yeah, lock the door. Oh my god. Lock the door.

No, I can't keep that energy up actually. That's really fun. You brought it from like a 15-dew of five so fast. Actually, that took a lot out of me. Are you done? Do you need to lie down? Should you play the outro song? I just need to, fuck.

It's like, you're just gonna cold? Yeah, because when I yell, my immune system is like higher that it does Ryland and spa My first name is that your full name Ryland and spa Rylie is short for Ryland. That's really cool And spa is long for your middle name and spa and then your last name spa. Mm-hmm. Okay exactly right. What's your middle name? I have two nice. So do I oh what are yours? I'll tell you if you tell me We get started or you guys are fucking together We're just friendly. I haven't really and I have friends

It's cool to like actually experience being friends with your boss. Fuck you desperate It's cool to like actually experience being friends with your boss. Fuck you desperate. Fuck you desperate for who? I know your middle name. It's a waste of opportunity. It's for opportunity. For you? Yeah, because we're very limited in terms of digital content.

Like, what the fuck is going on? I think you're, you might be really. Wow. You might be really stupid Correct me if I know what your fucking what's my name you think is a waste of digital content and opportunity cost Yeah, so what's your what's your fucking middle name Marie? Is it yeah really nice the That's the first or two. Really?

Yeah. So what's the second one, fucking Osmond? No. What? Jude, close. Marie Jude. Marie Jude, and I'm Jacob Penn Cooper, her wits. Wow, and a mirror.

Jude, actually. Yeah. Jude and I. No, we all know the real name. It's Schmouel, but that's Yiddish for Jude. Yeah. Riley, just so you know, this is a video, special Patreon-only exclusive episode of our podcast.

We're recording this there. There's a hidden camera there. Two more over here. You have a GoPro in your Eurethia filming into your body. And I'm taking a selfie. There's a little camera on this. So it's let's cut to the GoPro camp. Just under black. There's one more inside me. Yeah. There you go. My stomach hurts, but it is in the short circuit. Yeah, it's dark and it's hot down there, but it's fine. But we're still at the end of the day, this is an advice show.

We still need to answer some questions, so why don't we get right to it? Yeah, because the opportunity and digital content. We're really waiting it. Do you want to talk about your birthdays now? Are you spiff? June 3rd. Nice. Nice.

I never got celebrations in school because my birthday was in the summer. You're rolling your eyes so far. This is shit. Ask a question then. I don't have any. I can't in the summer. You're rolling your eyes so far. This is shit. Ask a question then. I don't have any. I can read them. You're like so hellbent on creating good online digital content, but you're just screaming at us.

You're just being mean. You guys care about my middle name? Do you give a shit about my real name? We said it was Jude. I just feel Riley's middle name. I thought it would be a conversation starter. It was a conversation to enter. Fair.

We started the conversation. You said let's move on. This is a waste. Yeah, this entire time you've just been trying to hijack a conversation and bring it to an abrupt end before it's even run its course. Daniel DeLuis writes. Holy shit. I can't believe you wrote it in.

The amount of my best buzz is currently unemployed has been aggressively looking for a job for a few months now. He's 31 years old, has a bachelor's degree, and is more than qualified for many of these jobs. He keeps getting turned down for these jobs, and he's starting to feel discouraged about the whole process. I feel for him, but I think I know why he keeps getting rejected. His teeth are disgusting.

I'm talking black tar from cigarettes, visible black, just overall awful teeth were it, not for his nice clothes and haircut. He'd look like a frickin' homeless dude. I normally overlook his atrocious maw, but because he's my bud, I worry about potential employers aren't as forgiving I mean who wants to hire someone who looks like a methodic so my question to you fellers is should I say something? And Riley yeah, Riley's here too. Sorry. He didn't know Daniel Just just easy. Yeah

Fellers Okay, I get it a lot. I get it a lot. It's fine. It's not done. Don't make a big thing of it It should piss you off more than it pisses Riley off It's just like fine. I feel like she doesn't want it. It's rude. It's crude and Honestly, dudes yeah guys You just made a point to be like inclusive of me being here as a woman and now you're saying dudes as guys And now you're crying just like crying so quickly You went mad to sad and not okay?

I hear what what is this one? Why are you more sad than I am you're dumbed by it? You're dumbed by it made me dumb. Yeah, it made me simple. Yeah I became a simpleton Okay, should I say something as his friend? And if so, how do I bring it up? I can't just say, hey man, your teeth are fucked up. Hope you're having a great day. Please help a brother out.

That's bad. Your teeth are fucked up. Hope you're having a great day. Maybe I'm doing a hell of a great day. That's fine. You could give any awful criticism you want as long as you say, hope you're having a great day So you're you're a nasty little idiot and you have bad skin and weird a weird nose and your poor

Day, okay, that's funny. That's great. I'm having a sour day because of the thing Yeah, but now we're talking about the day Yeah, you're small your meek and you're very close minded. You're talking to him. Don't give me you What the fuck you're an absolute big it and no one likes being around you, but how do you have a great day brother? Thanks girl I love the autumn It is February 9th. Really? Yeah. Damn these come out slow. Riley, I'm sorry to hear that.

Riley, you have great teeth. What's your oral hygiene history? Were you abrasives, were you a retainer, were you an expander? Oh. Are they veneers? That's fine too. Pulse them all out. Oh, so sharp. Or is it like, oh, I've never had any of that stuff.

I'm just naturally perfectly aligned, which I hate. Yeah, what is it? Do you want me to answer? I want you to answer truthfully. I just hope it aligns with my world You're getting sicker as you continue to see she never had braces bud. No, I did when I was younger I had Buck gap teeth bucked gap. Oh my god. How can they be they're out far and Out far and wide? Love would love to see a photo. Oh, there's so many. It was great. Like you could drive a double-decker bus through those boys. I love that. The Dave Letterman style. It was truly like that. Oh my god. And Letterman teeth on like eight-year-old Riley. Can orthodontist sort of shape it in any way they want or as braces

Made specifically to straighten your teeth you can get like apex braces Yeah, I want braces that give me a separation or I want step I want teeth that are lined like a triangle or maybe I can have That's really cool. Like that's like the next thing that Christian bail is gonna do Like you know like a real like method actor. Like maybe a Daniel Day Lewis. I lost 80 pounds and also I made my teeth crooked for the role. I'm sure you could, I'm sure that I can have it. It took three years but I ruined my bite for a fucking movie.

For four months of my life. Because my character when he bites into his sandwich can't really get a clean break on the lettuce. You know what I mean? I want a guy that sandwich can't really get a clean break on the lettuce. You know what I mean? I want a guy that I think sharp. Yeah, I want a character blunt my teeth. The character's off the edge. How do you tell your friend if they have shitty teeth? What are you trying to say? How do you tell somebody? Yeah, the question don't get defense. How do you how do you give somebody news like this? I don't know if you do. I don't know if it's your right. I don't know if it's your role

I don't know if these job offers are actually being ruined by the teeth situation. I don't even if you do. I don't know if it's your right. I don't know if it's your role. I don't know if these job offers are actually being ruined by the teeth situation. Really? I don't even know if that's legal. Did you feel like this? Did you feel like he feels? What? Which is... What do you mean? I feel like he's wrong across the board. I think that this is totally within the friends' bounds. And I think this is probably why the guys are not getting the job. Hmm.

I think if the friend asks point blank, like why do you think I'm not getting these jobs, then I think maybe, I think lead by example. If the guys are having a sleepover, let's say, it's boss. Yeah, the guy, like, the just, the friend would be like, look at this crest, like, optic white I'm using. Do you want some? Oh, that's cool. And, like, and showing you the look at the book. optic white I'm using. Do you want some? Oh that's cool. And showing you the look at the butt.

I'm gonna brush my teeth with this snickers bar. Why can't I get a job? You put in your retainer and I'll put in this thing that makes cola on my teeth for eight hours straight. Yeah, or maybe, or maybe we could try flossing with a water pit. I put a Oreo on the top and a twix on the bottom

and I smashed my face into mud and that's how I sleep and can I have a job? What if you've dared? Can I marry your fucking daughter? Where'd if you dared him? Like, what if you're like, I bet you can't do it.

Like, because guys love a challenge, I feel like, I dare you to brush your teeth twice, if not thrice. Stay like that. I think it's a doggy bridge. It's, it's, it's beyond brushing. Yeah, it's beyond brushing. Bushing and flossing.

He needs to be on the water pick. He needs veneers. Veneers. Veneers. I just learned about veneers and how prevalent they are. A lot of, a lot of actors and actresses just have fake teeth on their teeth. Taller's in TR is the, the children on that do that as well.

For baby teeth? Mm-hmm. Baby teeth veneers. Baby teeth veneers. That should be illegal. You ever seen a baby that's like super hot, except for his smile? You know, easy.

What? I'm serious, just like... Except trees? What do you talk about? What do you talk about? What do you talk about? What do you talk about? Sexy. No, I'm telling youxy In every regard Obviously not except the kid just has sort of a crooked smile like a shitty doing grin

Yeah, and you're like and he's too listen to listen young baby. You're a god. You're a big Would be a fucking piece of ass It's like imprinting in Twilight when the wolf falls in love with the baby on site. Jesus, that's in Twilight? Yeah. I've never, that's so fucked up. It's called imprinting. Say that again, what happens in Twilight? The wolf, the werewolf falls in love with the baby of the vampire on site.

This is like the most fucked up joke I've ever made on the podcast is just the point of a multi-million dollar franchise. But it's like at it's like no I'm not gonna fuck the baby. It's like no I'm gonna love you like a brother and then once you're of age then we're gonna get married. Is this? Oh that's really like the point in the time travelers white too, this guy's like a 34 year old. And like time travels back and he meets his wife as she's like five and he knows her whole life and then at a certain point when she's like 18,

it's like now we're ready. Yeah, it's fucked as hell, but your joke was also pretty bad. Anyway, I think you say, look, but I think that your, that your teeth are messed up and I want to help you fix it. And the reason I think it's worth having this hard conversation is because this will drastically improve its life.

It's not just the job. He's going to have like more self confidence. He's going to be able to like date people. He's going to be, I think it's going to, it's going to be such a boon to him as a person, a bread. A boon? Yeah, or an Aaron boon. It'll be more of an Aaron boon to him at regard.

A Megan Betune. A Megan Betune. A Megan Betune and Aaron Boon. I think it will be a walkoff homer in game seven of the 2003 ALCS. But do you think, Aaron Boon's time to shine? You think he doesn't know that his teeth are bad that this is an eye opening

Conversation you have to have though. He might know he might have an inkling He might be like I have bad teeth. He probably knows but he probably doesn't know that like other people are Noticing it you know sometimes you're like oh, I've got this zit and like but you know what? I probably notice it more than other people right like you're you're one thing that you're insecure about you're like I can I can imagine that I focus notice it more than other people. Right? Like, you're one thing that you're insecure about. You're like, I can imagine that I focus on it more so than others. Yeah, but you want to be like, no, everybody knows it. That's why you can't get a job. I think you need to confirm this worst fears.

I do. Well, I also think like if someone has bad teeth, or like, the thought process might be, okay, it's bad, but it's not as bad as other people. So that's why they don't notice it. And maybe it's like, you know, know if someone's a smoker it's like showing someone a photo of like a black lung I show him it's not bad teeth, but it's actually his teeth And like you'll a photo be like look at how you do if your teeth were like this you're holding here Imagine if your teeth look like this

I'm hitting us All right, so we got one vote for Talon, one vote for Nott, and then Riley. Uh, show, don't tell. That's beautiful. Thank you. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. There's no better way to get that mental health you need to survive and thrive in today's very anxious and depressing world. Then by talking to a professionally licensed therapist and there's no better way to do that,

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And maybe we have because it's the best way to create a professional-looking website. If you want to launch an online store or maybe a portfolio or give someone a gift of a website, Squarespace is the best way to do that. You don't really need to know how to program, code, design. It's all very simple. Drag and drop technology. They got member areas. They have video studios, drag and drop technology. They got member areas, they have video studios,

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can buy that. Or, you know, somebody else is a stinky dude. It's kind of fun. It might be fun to buy somebody as a stinky dude.com. Or if you want to give somebody a gift of an online portfolio presence store, you can do that all at squarespace.com slash if I were you, you get a free trial. And then when you're ready to launch, just use that offer code, if I were you to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain, thank you squarespace. All right, next question is a 20-year-old college student. We'll call him James Madison. Why?

Because that's the only college that's deemed after a person. That's not. How do you know that? Hm? Hm. Hm. This is a college called Hamilton.

That's definitely named Dr. Brural. Alexander Hamilton. You don't know that. Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton. It's named after the musical. Long time listener, long time fan writes, Hamilton, sorry, James Madison, sorry, James Monroe.

I'm a 20 year old college student and I'm currently working at an internship. Today was payday, and my pay stub shows that I got paid way more than I actually worked. My two week pay period should have been 80 hours of regular pay and an hour and a half of overtime. However, they gave me 99 hours of regular pay on an hour and a half of overtime. However, they gave me 99 hours of regular pain, 3.5 hours of overtime. Based on my math, this is an extra 400 bucks which I could really use

right now. However, it feels sort of wrong to keep it. Should I tell someone about it? Do I have an obligation to legally or morally? My check was automatically deposited in my bank account. so I would have to actually give it back to them rather than writing a new check. Note, this is not a small business by any means, so I'm not sure they'll even notice the $400 that are gone. Please help me out of the sticky situation, and maybe I will give you some of the $400. Well then that sort of defeats the purpose. No, it does it because I want that money.

Well he needed it, he said he needed it right now. No because he's a fucking intern Isn't he money losing a fucking ramen? How old are you? I'm 12 Got it. You're going through these changes. Yeah, I don't know why there's a error. There wasn't here before What would you do in this situation? I would would you bite the bullet and let someone know I feel like I think I would let someone know and the reason is because not Because I think it's like the morally right thing to do though. I think there's like that's an added bonus but the bigger this the The fear here is that they find out and then they find out that you didn't tell them. Oh, and that's like that's like

I don't think they could like, I don't think that's like a fireable offense. I think you could plead ignorance. You could definitely plead ignorance. You could be like, oh, I didn't even notice. I'm like, it's direct deposit. I'd notice. I didn't even notice it's for $400.

You gave me. Because I'm rich, bitch. You want the money? Keep the money. And you can play ignorance. But I think you should do the right thing. I think it also will make you look to your bosses who you tell.

So like that might end up in a promotion down the line. And then maybe your district manager and then maybe you're making the hiring and firing decisions and then maybe your fire your bosses. Yeah. And you're the God damn CFO. This is a C-O-O. This is a C-T-O. And you see E-O.

You created the company. You're the company created now. C-O is good. I don't see it happening. I don't I don't I don't think this is like the happy end to a Fairytale that they teach kids. You don't think he has what it takes to be a CEO. I think in the real world If you have what it takes to be CEO, you'll keep that $400. You know why because you deserve it Bank error in my favor mother fucker. Well, and you know what? I'm fired no fuck you you're fired You're an intern. Huh? You're an intern week. You're gone. You're out quiet Riley You got what it takes fully shit for jail. No, fuck them That's right. You're the CEO of prison now and I'm gonna be here everybody's bitch

You're a prison now and I'm gonna be here everybody's bitch What would you do would you give it back do you have a strong moral compass? She's been psyched any money from head gum since she started yeah, I mean like when I interned here I wasn't paid so God knows I wouldn't know what to do She was stealing La Croix. That's how she was paid. I saw her in the refrigerator eating a la Croix can shotgun La Croix On the day she beer-bonged a berry. Yeah, and it was so much carbonation that she was feeling belching I blew away. Yeah

I'm very poppin style. Oh no is that Charlie the talk about that really wonka stuff. Yeah, I would very pop and style. I know, is that Charlie the Chau chau, the fact that Willy Wonka's style. Yeah. I would totally let them know. I think you are led by the fear of someone finding out I'm led by like, it's the right thing. The fear of God. The fear of God in my heart at all times. Yeah, I think one should always behave honorably, if possible. But if sometimes you need to dilute yourself into behaving honorably by being afraid of

the repercussions, that works too. And it's a big company. They're probably taking advantage of you in something. You can spin it morally that you're actually in the right here and there and the wrong, and that this is the universe cosmically giving you an adaboy. Right. But then I think, I think then you're, if you do that, I have no qualms with you, but your come up is $400. That's like where, where it peaks for you. And if you do the

right thing, if you give the money back, there's no ceiling. There's no telling how high you can go, brother, because you look good for your bosses. You've done the right thing. You feel You know what I mean. What did you say? Jude knows what the hell I'm talking about. What about you Jude? What about you Jude? What about you Jude? What about you Jude? No, I hear it because then it's like,

if you tell them you look awesome and they're like, oh, we trust you, here's more money. Yeah, that might be exactly. Yeah, I'm not talking about money. You might even get the bonus. That's real free cash. So you're wrong, Bloom. Well, I wouldn't say there's a right or wrong

in this situation. I would just say there's a right or wrong in the situation. I would just say there's a legal and moral obligation to do one thing and I'm advocating the other. You are always for doing nothing. My friend has back to you. Do I tell him? No. I have $400 for my company and they're going out of business now. Do I say anything?

No. You're a curmudgeon. You're a weird little parrot duck curmudgeon. All right, one last question. Yeah. This is from a duck. You're a weird little parrot duck, curmudgeon. All right, one last question. Yeah, this is from a lady. Woo! Give me a fake female's name to call this person. Betty.

That's perfect. Well, that Betty. That's not a bad one. Well, like Betty, right? Yeah. So I have a friend who I have had a bit of a weird relationship with over the last few years. He was actually my first kiss. It was not a great experience, I gotta say.

But we have already been through the phases of being interested in each other. We have really good chemistry, killer, banter, and he is actually the most hilarious person to me. Our sense of humor, compatibility is next level. I honestly don't think I've ever met anyone who is as funny as he is. The problem is, we have been super platonic this year and I know I would never pursue him because he is a terrible kisser. Also he moved. Also he has a girlfriend. So my question is, the other things are so much bigger. How would you advise me to get over this guy on

all levels? I feel like he's my the standard of my kind of hilarity and compatibility without me actually wanting to pursue him. How do I stop comparing him to all the other guys? What do I do? Thanks, hilarious dudes. Keep doing what you're doing, making me look like a loon as I laugh aloud while listening to you on the train during my uni community. while listening to you on the train during my uni community. Okay, Betty. She has a crush on this guy or she doesn't like this guy. Both. Oh.

Why the... Excuse me? Why? Does this resonate with you at all? I don't quite understand what's happening here. I get it. I think it's like when you click with a dude or a lady or whoever, and like the really funny and compatible, like that's great.

But if there's no spark, if there's no chemistry, you've got to have the fire. You've got to have the fire, I have the works. Yeah, exactly right. That's really good. What are you doing? Fire. In the post, we're gonna edit little fire emojis coming out of my arms.

I don't think so. I think so. It depends on how much the Patreon makes. A lot of it depends on the Patreon. So now she's comparing every guy she meets with this guy that she finds very exciting, but not necessarily a good kisser. So what's the big idea? It's weird. She's like, he's great, but I would never want to pursue him because in order bad kisser doesn't live near me and is in a relationship. That's right. Go reverse order on that. For sure. Because the kissing is so innocuous, it's to not it a matter. I spent this entire question thinking of like, oh yeah, kissing is the one thing that you

can teach somebody to do. You can't teach somebody to be compatible, like humor wise with you. That's the lightning in a bottle that you can't recreate. And now he doesn't live near you and has a girlfriend. So I'm sorry, but you are fucked. Well, there's so many other funny people in the world. No, nothing's funny other than this. Yeah, do you think it's harder to find someone who's attractive or harder to find someone

who has a good personality? The latter. Personality. Attractive. Wait. Attractive? It's really hard to find somebody that's hot and also likes you. It's easy to find people who are funny and like you. At least for me. I'm a comedian and all my friends are ugly

and funny in that order. And are obsessed with me. I think that for me it's easier to find people that I can like make laugh because that's like how I try to communicate with people in general. But can you find people easily who make you laugh as much as you make them laugh? Yeah, no. I don't know. I guess I, no one's as funny as me.

It's harder for me to, it's hard to answer because I can only really think about what I value more. And I think somebody being hot to me is the ultimate. There's nothing. Congratulations on your wedding, by the way. There's nothing. These are Jake's vows. There's just someone being hot to be used to me.

No, I'm serious. All right, can I say something for real, for real, for real. There's just nothing more... Exactly. There's nothing more important to me in a relationship than just being able to look at somebody and be like, you're really hot, do you know what I mean? Yeah. To like, we're mad that you a relationship than just being able to like look at somebody and be like you're really hot Do you know what I mean? Yeah, to like we're mad that you're to be able to tell us that we are taking seriously

So don't have really truly you don't want to fucking real level that's that they're like hot Yes, I know what you're saying that you want someone to be hot not necessarily good person matter there Right, so I'm saying at the very least good personality behind It doesn't have to be your priority but say that it's important. It's not important. So I'm giving you, you can think of it, I'm giving you an out. Say that they're both important. Yes. Like you have to be attractive to somebody and they have to. I'm a good person. I mean, you well, you're not taking that. So if they're hot, then nothing else to me matters.

Of course. Everything else falls into place based on if they are. You shouldn't answer this question. You should sit this one out. And the kissing was mediocre. She said, yeah, she said, bad. All right. Does that find for you?

As long as he's hot. So you're fine with someone being hot, even if they're bad kisser to you. Are you okay? Because you're at the very least getting to look at someone who's attractive. Get a fucking poster. I have one. It's Pam Anderson on a Ferrari. And she's holding a fucking craft of beer, and that's my wife.

And I'm in love. And then to laugh, I have an Adam Sandler CG, and a keychain that makes fart noises. And for food, all you do, and everything big old. No one asked about food. Very well. We're all gonna laugh at you. So he doesn't live near her and is in a relationship are the other really big parts. And she said you wouldn't even be interested in him.

So her question is how do I stop comparing him to the guys that I meet? I think it's okay to compare him to guys that you meet because like you if you are hold if you have a high standard for somebody that like other guys live up to, that's totally cool. So now your standard is that you want to meet somebody that makes you laugh and that you like as much as this friend of yours. And that also is a better kisser. So if you can find that person who you held up

to that standard, then that's a okay. That's great. I like that. That's beautiful. Also. No, no, no, no, no. You had it. They've got it. We're also at the end of the episode. So you're like, you, no, no, no. I had it. They've got it here.

We're also at the end of the episode, so you could've. That's what he's ending on. That's what he's choosing to end on. Do you have anything you want to promote, Rallye, before we'll let you end it with your final word? But is there anything you want to say anything you want to promote? Well, this is going to come out after our head gum live show at Dynasty

Titan. General head gum live shows. Head gum live shows we have won an in December. First week in December at Dynasty typewriter that Jeffrey James and I will be promoting and hosting. And hosting also Jeff in my videos on the head gum site. That's right. Head gum. Or YouTube. them out. That's right, head gum.com slash, or youtube.com slash head gum.

I'll check them. That's true. And then Jake, it's just important to be hot in a relationship. All right, we're good. Thank you so much. Thanks for coming. Thanks, everybody. It means a lot to you.

Check it out. They listen to the show and they're hot. Nice. You're an asshole. If I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, I'll tell you what I want to do, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I'll tell you what I want to do, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I'll tell you what I want to do, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I'll show you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I'll show you, if I'll tell you, if I were you, if I were you, if I'll tell you what I want to do, if I were you, if I were you, if I'll show you, if I were you, if I were you, if I was you, if I'll show you, if I were you, if I'll show you, if I'll show you, if I were you, if I'll show you, if I'll tell you, if I was you, if I were you, if I was you, if I was you, if I'll show you, if I was you, if I were you, I'd tell you what I would do If I were you, shut that cup.