If I Were You - Bonus: Open Relationship (w/Jeff Rosenberg!) 2019

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

Our friend and fellow Headgum podcaster Rosie Rosenberg joins us to discuss how he met Jake, and Amir’s cool new nickname. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gamma region. What is this a new if I were you podcast? Well, kind of. These are episodes that were living behind our Patreon for the last five years and we figured why not release some of the best ones onto this feed to reward those of you that never gave up. That never unsubscribed so please enjoy this classic episode of If I Were You recorded at our old studio in 2018. I tell you what I want to if only I were you

Shut that count Welcome to If I were you the only advice podcast on the web Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Well, what was that? I thought we were doing a whole thing. You ruined it. I was stooch, stooch. Yeah, stooch from middle school. Remember, you brought the paintball gun in that one time? That was you. That was you and you blamed it on a foreign kid. You would they found a kill list in your locker. You're like, that's not mine, that's stooch.

Remember when I spread that rumor about you having the kill list? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never seen you actually so mad at me before. No, I got mad at you at you. Yeah. Wait, that wasn't a culture. That was a place of work, but I spread a rumor that you had to kill us. Yeah. And it was also really mad that time.

To be in 2003. The other time I got really mad at you was when you took a photo of me on the toilet. Yes. And you wouldn't delete it. No. And then you made me delete it, but not before I emailed it to myself. You did not, you did not email it to myself. I did email it to myself.

Policy if you could pull it up. But I think it's an old email that I know a lot of have access to. That's right. It's a cute photo though. I've seen it. Wait, you took a picture with a digital camera. You know those? No, no, no.

Like a phone? Yeah. So this was in the iPhone area. Early iPhone. I think it was 2000 in the iPhone Air. Early iPhone. I think it was 2000, must have been 2008. Yes, because it was at our apartment. Yeah, great place. And you guys lived together.

You barge in photo or you were like sneaking through the door. You know, a barge in photo. A barge in photo. And you were like taking a shit. So your pants were down, trying to cover your dick. Yeah, naked, ostensibly. Pants around the ankles. I thought it was funny, maybe I was laughing.

They call that the stooch snap. Yeah. The stooch does a lot of illegal things. Stooch is a bad guy. Yeah. Stooch is a bad person. Stooch is Dave. It's like, alter you go Dave.

I guess we should actually introduce you, Jeff Rosenberg is here. Yeah old friend of ours older friend of Jake's ancient friend to me When did you guys meet what age? I think we're 13 or 14? I remember where we met we met at the Orange County fair Was it orange? Whoa we met at a fair really? Yeah Orange County or the New Jersey Orange County. No Connecticut the township of orange County No, or maybe We did a fair some some no I did go to the orange fair one year But I think that was when I could drive and I met you just before your bar mitzvah Right, I think I was 14 and you were 13 But that you invited to their benign mitzvah their first the first thing he said to me was that I couldn't come to his bar mitzvah.

Before you'd even met him, you said, I don't know who you are, bro, but you're not getting this. Like this is Jeff, like you can't come to my bar mitzvah. Or invitation already went out. So I think it was like some sort of like no matter what, like if we become friends, you can't come. Yeah. So don't get, oh, wow.

Who is it? It's my mom. Of course. I, um, I'll pick it up now. You have to pick it up. For master chief. It's your birthday. I'm gonna pick up the phone later.

Well, it's her birthday. All she wants is to talk to her son just once, because you haven't talked to her in- I'm recording a podcast, mom. What do you want? You're so fucking on. Okay, yeah, I'll get fucking LASIC.

The lags. Is she pressuring you? Yeah, she thinks I'm a fucking dweeb, unless I work out and get no glasses. Your host sounds awesome. She is really cool and she's pretty strong. She's bullying you.

She's sick, my ass. She's your mom is a bully. Yeah, she's a bully. She's a troll. Interest. She's an angry, angry woman. Sounds like stooch. Stooch was an angry woman, right?

Yeah, that's a roof. Actually, roof is a stooch. A stooch, a stooch. Stooch, Bader Ginsburg, roots, oldest son. All right, we're here to answer some questions. It's like Chet Hayes. Chet Hayes, Tom Hanks is like, rapper son. Yeah.

So Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, very sweet, successful actors, had two kids. One became a sweet, successful actor. Yeah, what is Colin? What is he like a documentary about the end of a record? His favorite record store. The other is Shit Hayes. He's sort of an Instagram rapper. I guess you can go one of two ways.

I've got two haze. Nice. Very good. One of Chet haze. You can either go with the crowd or against the grain. I guess if my parents were rich, successful, and I had all the cash in the world, I would probably just rap too.

I wouldn't have to be nice to people or learn how to act. I would just be like, they've already done that. By the way, for me to be a rapper. Yeah. He's actually really good. It just his name is so bad. Nobody respects him. Yeah. His one of his songs is like really fucking tight. Yeah. It's like really. Popos out. Popos out. Yeah. God, all the people that didn't deserve to be musicians are so funny. Like Kevin Federline. Yeah, Kevin Federline and Chet Hayes.

There's got to be more. Oh Rebecca Black, the Friday girl. Becky Black. Yeah. She's a congresswoman now. No shit. Yeah. Pretty cool actually.

We're in a super red district. One of the platform of hate. Of Hayes. Hayes Valley. All hate, of haze, haze valley. All right, let's try to answer some questions. We only have so much time. Yes. Jeff, do you have a fake guy's name to refer to this person? Luch.

Luch. Right. Brose. I recently went over to my girls' house to help decorate because her sister was coming home from college for the first time. The entire family was there, aunts, grandparents, cousins, neighbors. I went upstairs when I heard the door open and everyone started to celebrate. I started to nervously rehearse my greeting. I got to the top of the stairs when I saw the mom and her sister were at the bottom. The mom said, this is Travis who I've told you so much about.

I was awkwardly deciding in my mind if I should say hi from the top of the stairs or go all the way down before saying hello. I quickly tripped and fell hard down the stairs. A good three to four tumbles before landing with a thud that could be heard for miles. For the next two hours, I was on ice while the entire family was assuring that I was okay,

but obviously laughing about the fall behind my back, I was humiliated. Should I understand how funny the situation is? My question is, should I consistently joke about the situation to help make it less awkward from now on, never mention it again, or break up with my GF and get as far removed from this family as possible. Mm.

I wouldn't be honest. The GF's gonna break up with you, obviously. You have no balance. One, no growth, goddammit. Says it all. You stumbled, keep falling out of my house, keep falling out of my life. Yeah, they should have just opened the door at the bottom of the stairs. You tumble out into the lawn.

They slam the door behind you. The new boyfriend steps over. Perfectly composed. He does the Willy Wonka, the stumble, stumble, stumble, flip, grand reveal, standing ovation. Ta-da. Leans the mom over and kisses her on the mouth. At this point, like, he's fallen. It's at least been a week, right? Yeah. No, he's writing this email awkwardly,

like from the couch. He's got an ice pack on his head. I know, talking. I'm sitting on frozen peas. I swear to God, I heard the great uncle go. And then he fell and my, her ant was cracking up so hard. The neighbor keeps snickering at me. Have you ever embarrassed yourself in front of your signo?

Your signo's family? Plus family though? Yeah, plus family. He, me, yeah, most likely. No. Oh yeah, I can answer that of course. Yeah, plus family. Me, yeah, most likely. Oh, yeah, I can answer that. Yeah. Jeff was a constant embarrassment. He was drunken high through many family vacations. Do you remember when you you tried to wrestle Micah and you pulled your back? I bring that up to Micah a fair amount because I think that actually was a decade ago at this point. And that was a funeral. And Michael before he got, you know, Jack, he correct me if I'm wrong, he was

thick. Oh yeah, there was, there was a time before high school that he was like thick. Right, and then you had the sexual couch we were raffling around as boys are want to do because He was looking for this out of his older brother He's older brother was you know doing stuff hanging out with Certain types of people that yes. I was living a rich decadent life I was sort of like a Gatsby and Jeff was more of a I don't know Would you say other characters that Gatsby? A pedophile that wanted to wrestle my 11 year old brother?

No, he may have been at the very least 12 at the time. Right. So we're raffly. I would say he was definitely 12 at the time. I'm kind of nurturing him, trying to be that older brother figure, that father figure that he's been looking for. By all of his father figure, he wanted by wrestling him. So you were 14.

So his legs are wrapped around my shoulders at this point in a power bump position, right? And I scooch him in, his navel towards mine. This is all kind of the wrestling. I didn't know. It's a navel to nipple wrapping. Now you're trying to be my brother's father figure. By, I guess he has his legs over your shoulders

and you scooch him in towards your head. That's part of the move. And then you lift him up. And as I'm lifting him up to power bomb him, you know, the power bomb is. Yeah. Everyone was sitting a shiver. Just a pop in my back.

Yeah, what happened there? A slip disc. No, I think it just like separated the lower vertebrae. Jesus. And it really acts up every now and then. And you blame Micah for being a fat 12-year-old? I can't. Because you started this way by saying that he was thick. There was a time before he was fit that he was thick. Right. I'm just saying he was heavier than what I expected. But I didn't say fat. It's a thick pre-tween.

And I hurt myself throwing. Jake wasn't around, so I had to power Bob the bitch. But would you say I embarrassed myself in front of your family? No. That was the family love you. Yeah, I don't I think there's coming back from this. It was an honest mistake. It's not like he was mean or offensive in some way. But you don't know that.

If anything, now he's the guy who fell down and he's, you know, kind of a silly mascot for the family. I think then he has to continue to like play that up. Right. He has to like, it depends how you laugh at yourself. If it's like an uncomfortable laugh at yourself or you're really digging into yourself in a self-deprecated line. Yeah, because sometimes if you like won't let something go, even if you seem to have a good nature about it, like... It looks painful. Yeah, don't have to say, I might trip and fall down the stairs.

Like, hey, you can't let it go. You know, like it's a fear. It's a fear. It's a fear. It's a fear. I think you have to have a good sense of humor about it. Like, you have to be able to laugh about it every time the day bringing that. I think the issue was he wanted to steal the line light in the first place by like having this grand entrance from the top of the stairs where he like greets his girlfriend and sister. It's like, where do you get off in the first place?

Like you're not the entrance, like she's home from college. That is, you're an afterthought. I Like she's home from college. That is. You're an afterthought. I didn't even think about that. That is strange. Like everybody is like saying hello, and then you come down with some sort of fun upstairs. You wanted to debut.

It was strange. He came down there and then he's in the sister's old prom dress. At a music cure. He's wearing gloves from a Catillion. Here comes the lurch. Here comes the lurch. Oh, hi, little snaps. I like the idea of him, like, really leaning into it, though,

like every single time you enter, you enter somewhere, there's like some sort of, like, crazy slapstick moment. Right. He does the crap all the time. Right. He pull up to pick somebody up. You, like, Jerry, rig your airbag to go off in your moment. Right. He doesn't like crap all the time. Right. He pull up to pick somebody up. You like Jerry Rigger, airbag to go off in your face. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. You greet the dad for the first time. Your pants fall to your ankles. Or not. Should escalate. Should escalate to where he hurts himself more every time. Until the family just starts actually feeling bad for him.

Right. The falling down the stairs is like no joke. Yeah. Like you fell off the roof. I don't know if you fell off the roof. It seems like I don't know if he flipped or like fell on his ass and slid a little bit. Oh.

I don't know it's funny here. It's like, if you, it's not like you didn't get to hang out to the railing because like, that was close. I'm not used to stairs. Lovely house. Next Thanksgiving, you have to cut off your thumb when you're, thumb when you're carving the turkey. Oop.

You look, you look, you look. Oh. I think you don't bring it up ever again. Right. But like, at some point, when you've like cemented yourself as a family staple, like right now It's also a little it's like joking about you about you as like a little bit of like It's it's what's the tepid tentative

What's the word? I don't know your share it's a fresh wound. Yeah, it's tertiary to be sure Yeah, I don't know what tertiary means, but it's definitely that. It's quite tertiary. Yeah, it's like, you have to like test the waters. You're not like so much a part of the family that you can be made fun of. Right. If anything, but silver lining, it brings you closer to the family

because now they feel comfortable. That's nice. They should be comfortable making fun of you. To your, you know. I also just remember that Jill fell down one of the first times that she met my mom. What happened? She slipped on the stairs.

Down stairs. She didn't, it was like, it was the bottom of the stairs. She slipped on like the last stair and landed on her butt. And basically like, went and like sat on the landing. Just like, whoa, sat sitting on the landing. But she had met my mom already, but it was like one of the first times that Jill had like come home to Connecticut

to like spend the weekend with people. Right. And it was really funny, but we've never talked about it since. So maybe it is forgettable. Definitely. But I think it's probably different if Jill like took a full tumble down the stairs.

Or what if he like passes it off Like he leans over to the dad. He's like, you know, I Excuse me tooth falls out The fault that's a thing I think he's got to find the sister a boyfriend and then pay him off to do something Even worse not even, just like more recent. I found it a killer. I was like, kill it. You think I fell down?

Or not to? Well, I fell on some really harsh evidence here. He doesn't even have to pay him off. You can just do that. Yeah, he can catch someone red handed in a red alive, taking himself into a deeper hole. And then when he's like, that's your handwriting. Yeah, Is it?

You can make this other guy, the biggest clutch doofus of all. Make him the scapegoat. Yeah, or just come and show up at the next family thing with a fucking gun. Who finds it funny that I felt? Are you laughing now? Not at all, but we thought you were funny. You're laughing.

You're laughing. You have a problem with me. Not at all, but we now they we thought you were the kind of jazz back there You have a problem with me The kickback fucking clocks his nose Shit good lands goes off shit. It's very good. Let's forget this ever after It's a gun and falls I bet you think I'm so. Who's laughing? Okay. Shocking on his own blood. I'd love to ask you. I can't I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it, alright? I'm, I'm cold, I'm so cold. He's dead.

Oh, that's rich. That's one way to do it. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. I don't know if you guys know this, but life can be low-key stressful or anxious at times. I know I was surprised too. I couldn't believe it, but I turned 40 and I'm like, you know what? Nothing is necessarily easy ever

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a new mattress and they'll think that you can afford full price, which is honestly really, really cool. And they won't even know that you got 25% off because that could be our little secret. Again, that's helixleap.com slash if I were you. Use that code, helix partner 25. Thanks helix. All right, let's answer another question. This one's from a lady. Yeah. I got a fake girl's name. Jazz Mena. Just Mena. Just Mena. So I matched with a guy on Bumble three months ago. Since then, we've gone on four dates and slept together once.

Nice. They've all gone very well. He's funny, easy to talk to. Totally my type and really good and bad. Woo! This guy sounds like me. Haha. Maybe it is you.

You have a girlfriend. So I was just, maybe you're bragging about your boat. You're Bumble dang. I is you. You have a girlfriend. Maybe you're bragging about your boat. I'm just saying. You chose this question probably so you could know sort of shout yourself out. Alright, let's take that. I feel like that's also now everybody. I'm actually not easy to talk to so it's obviously not me. True.

But good in bed. I'm prickly. I'm not good in bed. And I'm not very, I'm not pretty good in bed. I'm not very, I'm not a type. I was joking. I claw my way in. So I was, I want to quiet smell.

I was joking too, but now you're sort of just like revealing that you, I was kidding. You've framed your wrist. Heraline Fraksh, I can see it. You're bad and bad. She continues. After our most recent fourth date, at the end of which we discussed going on another, I pulled up his bumble profile to show my friends. I had not looked at it recently, since we had moved to texting not long after matching.

To my shock, what do you guys think? He's obviously active on the app. Updating his profile picture. Ooh, I like the updating, because to my shock, he had to wait. To my shock, he had noted in his bio that he was in an open relationship. This information was not in his bio

back when we had started talking a few months earlier. He has never said anything or behaved in any way in person to indicate that this was the case. I ended up not showing it to my friends because it made me extremely humiliated to have been left in the dark like this. So my question is, what the fuck? Do I confront him about this information? Isn't being in an open relationship with someone else

an important piece of info to share with someone you are seeing? Jake, I love you, but this sounds like some shit you would pull. Ooh, that's true. with someone you are seeing, Jake, I love you, but this sounds like some shit you would pull. Ooh. That's true. You're taking ownership of something you didn't even do, but this sounds like a page right out of my handbook. Is this fucked up? I'm wondering if she's the one that he's

in the open relationship with. That's what I was exactly when I was thinking. Oh, so like, yeah, I'm in an open relationship now with you. Yeah, like, I'm sort of like, I'm like, I'm gonna relief to her. I'm like, God. I think she assumes that she is the one that is the relationship and they have the open relationship together.

I think she assumes that there's another girl that he's in an open relationship with. Yeah, she's like, you're in an open relationship and you're never told possible that it is what Jeff thinks, too. It's so much less likely to say you're in an open relationship after not talking to me. But like, what have you, you've gone on four dates with somebody and you like where it's going

and you're like, I really want to just like, if you're a real weird anal person, you're like, I should update my bumble profile. I've been on four dates, but I'm down to hang out with you. I'm not off the market, but I think things are trending that way. I met her uncle and I fell next to him. So in case I'm ostracized, I'm still down to go

on a first date. I will say this though, it is even if, say, hypothetically, there's no other girl. That's kind of a cool line. Like, I'll mean this woman have where we're so mature and are like, love that we're open about it. Like, oh. It adds a little, I feel a little crust on there.

That's an interesting move for your bio. I also just thought it'd be really funny if the guy that fell down the stairs was icing his back lying on a couch working on his new bumble profile. It's not sure that their relationship is over. Ha, no, I'm gonna call it Uber as soon as I feel. Bumble profile. He's that sure that their relationship is over. Ha, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna call it over as soon as I feel up to the task. I have a doubt about it here. And I have to go now, that's much as clear.

Sometimes they say like don't move in case you got concussed. So just don't let me go to sleep. I don't think I will. Because I'm trying to work looking at it as mobile phone. I can't think I will. I'm trying to work looking at his mobile phone. I can't control my tongue. How, how, how, how? But yeah, I think whole family's in the hot tub. This is definitely information that she should have had initially. And I think it's worth confronting it about it.

One sex though. I don't know if she's, I guess if it's four dates over like, that's a month, right? I mean, yeah, going over, going on four dates and sleeping with somebody, like one that indicates to me that you take sex seriously. Like it's not like, I went on one date and fucked him. Like she clearly wanted to like build towards this

and is like opening herself up and like getting to know this guy a little better. And now it's all been like pulled out from under her. It's all under false pre-toss. Yeah, no, I feel her on that because at Silver assuming he is interrelationship of someone, he was interrelationship when they went on dates and banged. Yes, that's what I think. So he's. And let's use also.

That dude. Yeah. But afraid of confrontation at the very least. Yeah, because he's like, he's not cheating on his current girlfriend because they're in an open relationship, but it's still information you have to disclose. Right.

It can't be a secret open relationship. Or a candidate. Well, that's the interesting thing when it comes to not interesting. When it comes to not cheating. So you think that you're like off the hook, he's like, well, I'm not cheating. So it's good. So it's not bad. Well, you're sort of lying to me. Not lying. It's not telling you the whole story. Right. But you can still mistreat somebody while being cool to your open relationship. But then you just like as the new girl, the bumble girl, now she's an accessory, you know,

she's not the bottom bitch, if you will. That's cool. That's a really cool name for me. Yeah. Going forward. Bottom bitch? Or whatever, BB. And then like we don't tell people what it stands for.

Right, but you are my bottom bitch. Yeah. But like nobody knows that. And then Jake still don't tell people what it stands for right, but you are my bottom bitch. Yeah Nobody knows and then Jake still podcasts with other people you still podcasts with other Yeah, let's still each other's bottom bitch. Jake's like the pod father and I'm the bottom bitch That's cool to Godfather. That's great. Yeah, that is really cool. Nick. We can even switch sometimes We wouldn't switch we would never switch We would never switch. We would never switch. Because your nickname is too cool.

And it's also so perfectly you. Because it's super cool. Or it's quintessential Blooming Feld. I might even try it at the DMV or some shit. I think that's cool. It's a mere hair, Blooming Feld, number 47. I'm like, that's me, but I go by bottom bitch. You can do that as like a vanity plate almost.

B-T-M-B-I-C-H. Yeah, bottom bitch. That's cool. And then people honk at me. I'm the bottom bitch. Yeah. Yeah, both hands on the wheel. Yeah, but dance on the wheel.

Toomstone reads bottom bitch. It was an honor. Here lies bottom bitch. I feel bad saying that word at a funeral in a eulogy, but I guess you would have wanted to. We got his name changed so we have to say he went to court for this. bad saying that word at a funeral in a eulogy, but I guess you would have wanted to have a name change. So we have to say he went to court for this. So what do you guys say to the girl who wants to stay in front of the guy?

Do you say? Call him out on it. Yeah, definitely call him out. What's this? I don't, yeah, it doesn't have to be like some sort of like gotcha bumble date, but I think you could bring it up and just be like, hey, no one's to deal with this. No one likes getting sandbagged. Yeah.

And then she's got to say, but then she's also got to say that she was back on bumble to like check things out. Unless she says, my friend sent this to me. Yeah. She's not like, what do you think? I wanted to show you a profile of my friends. We'd been out four or eight. So that's normal.

I know that I would know as somebody on a dating app that my profile is being shared with a group of friends. Right. I have a new one. Tinder. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. People would send me a screenshot of my profile by accident. Yeah. Like because they were meaning to send that to other people. But do you want to call someone out like that? Is that a, is that like a, that seems to me to warrant like a resentful response like like an eye roll? It's like I think you have a clarity. Separately not having to do with the the added line.

So you just bring it up. Are you in a relationship? Like this is what this is. Kind of. Yeah. But this is why that's dangerous because you can be like, oh,. Are you in a relationship? But then, no, because this is what, this is, but this is why that's dangerous because you could be like, oh, are you seeing anybody else?

And it's like, no. And then you're like, then you have to be like, well, I know that you are. So when I asked you a lot of questions, I'm like, you're a lot of questioning like, can be, could strut as dishonest or like, what is that called,

double jeopardy or something? Right, right. Or entrapment. Yeah, you can't find out the same girl twice. Leading the bottom bitchness, your honor. Hi, bottom bitch here. Question for the court. Where are you bottom bitch, Esquire?

No, I'm a jerk and I'm just a little confused about what's going on here, Jernine, bottom bitch. So on the movie is a TV. Sorry, you were dismissed from the jury. Yes. For my racist ideology. But I was wondering if I can, do you guys validate? I wanted to see if I showed up in the court portraits.

Yeah, bottom bitch. I was one of the caricature of me can the courts denogger read this back how long did you have to fucking pose like this For the for the sketch artist to get you I'm an oj. J. J. and every time I saw the person doing this sketch I would flash the shocker so that when they would show the picture portraits on TV, that's where it loves. That's the bottom bitch right there. That's good. Wow.

That's good stuff. So you say bring it up, show it right off the bat, the bio. Yeah. And a cool way. Bring it up in a cool way. That's cool. Sunglasses, by the way, check this out, you're in an open relationship. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa because it doesn't make sense. This is funny. I'll see how there's three. The one on the left is the bottom. The bottom bitch frog.

The one on the right is you. Yeah, and then who's this rowdy one? Who's this wise cracker? The wise of the bunch. Oh, wise cracker's kind of a cool name for you. Really? Because you're like wise and you crack it, dude. Can we say that?

That's actually, no, that's gonna have to get bleeped out. That's Chad Hase's next wrap in. Why is cracker? It's gonna album for him. I would bring it up and you can say that your friend sent you the picture. You don't have to say I was looking at the bumble. Right. Sure.

You can lie about how you can watch it. But do you chew them out? And he's like, oh yeah, yeah. That's, I got Michelle. And then what, what do you say back to that? Oh, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you chew them out? And he's like, oh yeah, yeah. That's, I got Michelle. And then what, what do you say back to that? Oh, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me that? Oh, because you know, it's bumble.

Oh, that's cool. All right, let's kiss. Yeah. I guess if he says, if you say, why don't you tell me that? And he says, because it's bumble, you could, you can end the relationship. Because it's bumble, bitch.

Wait, where are you going? I broke my tailbone. I fractured it. It's bumble, bitch. Wait, where are you going? Bumble, bumble, bumble. I broke my tailbone. I fractured it. All right, sweet. That was painless. 30 minutes up, 30 minutes down. One more called ad-free content. Wow, easy.

That's great. Appreciate you coming by. I appreciate you guys. I appreciate you guys, though. What's that? Neckcorrector.com. Oh, you have a gift you have something to promote? Yeah, no, I push ads now for, they're from, you know my Fork Chula friends?

Yeah, you were right. Fork Chula? No. Fork Chula, you said, yeah, first, that's a marriage. I wanted you to like, yeah, you're trying to like get your ass off. It's a spatula that you put on your, the teens or the times, if you will, on your fork. So you can scoop up that marinara sauce, whatever, it's sort of chocolate sauce

you have at the bottom of your dish. That's actually really cool. But they've actually switched, that's the fork chula, but they're moving away from that. And now they're doing the neck, yeah, Ali and his partner, Dave and I believe. Ali, who the hell are these people? Ah, they're in Prince Edward Island there.

Some buddies that I met through conferences. Prince Edward Island is that in Canada? Yeah. I have no further questions, but continue. So they moved on to the neck corrector. Checking out neck corrector. What does that one do? That'll help, you know, how I hurt my back.

Yeah. You know, it's that elongates the spine. And, you know, it just helps you lay on it. And it just is a simple way. So you can even buy that or not try to suplex a tween. But if you've already suplexed a tween, well the neck character is not gonna work for that. You need more of a hip displacement. I'll talk to Ali back up to shop. Yeah just focus on four.

The other day they abandoned the forkula. They're trying to sell forkula if you guys are interested in a new venture a small Forchula that'll cost you for the forks you love have you made a have you made a sale on those things? Yeah, I've made one Did you have a prototype? No, they make it. I just pushed the code. That's neck correct at neck corrector dot But is it your concept? No, so they came up with the shit. Yeah, they do all the work. I'm just put I guess 15% of the sales This I'm so sad that we spent time doing it. Yeah, no, it's I'm not happy about it You just made my kill list, but

Anything you want to promote besides net corrector. We're looking to do our 200th episode show live at the gutter. And I'm pretty sure this is 99% gonna happen, so I can say it. That's cool. So that'll be, I believe, May 16th or 17th. So we'll try to get this out. 200th.

Yeah, I'll be there. Yes, should be fun. I'm here. Gonna count you in? Bottom bitch in it. Put bottom bitch on the list, and we'll see if you show us up. We'll be back next week. Thanks for watching, everybody.

Woo! If I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, I'll tell you what I want to do. If I were you, shut that cop.