If I Were You - Testing Testing: Personality

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

Finally, Jake gives Amir a Myers-Briggs test to determine what kind of man he is/strives to be.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a Hit Gum Original. Welcome. Welcome. Yeah, let's just... Welcome to testing, testing. Nice. We should just get into the exam. Because a lot of times we dilly-dattle, say,

oh, how's it going? Oh, this is crazy. We're in the same room. I sang the intro and I was about to start. I was about to start. I was about to go right into it. Namasty. You're...

You're out. You're nasty. You're acting nasty. I'm nervous because I won't do well at the test if it's a weird subject. Yeah, you're actually... I think this is one test that you could very legitimately fail. I'm giving you a free personality test.

Excuse me? It's a personality test. Is this like the Myers-Briggs? It spits out what I am at the end of it? Precisely. Oh, it is the Myers-Briggs. I don't know. Precisely that.

It's like... I don't know. It gives you your Myers-Briggs score. I don't know if it's the official Myers-Briggs test. I just know that I took it. This is a test I can't fail because I just have to answer to the true stability. Well, you might...

You might fucking unlock the fact that you don't have a personality. You'd love that. I wouldn't love it. I would be confirmed in my belief that you're not quite human. Everybody can have a personality. You're not a man. You're not a guy. Even if your personality is boring, that's a personality.

You can't not have one. We'll see what happens with the test. Holy shit, I failed. It might spit out that you are not. This guy isn't. Yeah. Okay, so this is the personality test. It's on a website called 16 Personalities,

which I actually really liked. So shout out to them. Each of these has kind of like a sliding scale. Okay. There's like the strongest agree and the strong disagree, but in between that, there's actually like... It's 5,000 little nods. There's a mediums, a light agree, a neutral, a light disagree,

a stronger disagree, and then the max disagree. Wow. So you have basically three on the disagree, three on the agree, or completely neutral. What in the middle? Yeah. A menorah of options. Precisely.

And you are the shameless. The shavash of men. And you will be ashamed of this. Nice. Thank you. Let's take a break. You regularly make new friends. Oh, that is not the strongest disagree,

because I have made some new friends, but generally disagree. So let's go... Light and medium. Let's go medium disagree. Yeah. Smash cut to everyone kicking you out of the mafia game. Yeah, none of those people were my friends, to be sure.

You spend a lot of your free time exploring various random topics that pique your interest. That's pretty good. I think I do. I think I find myself diving deep into hobbies and jobbies, as it were. Yeah. Does it count if it's always basketball,

NFTs, or crypto? I would hope so, just because those are things that pique your interest. Yeah. And stuff that NFTs I didn't really know about last year and now I'm into them. That's true. So I'll say, yeah.

Strong agree? Strong agree. Strong agree. Nice. Seeing other people cry. Wait, I'm sorry. You don't believe my answer. I saw you notch a medium agree.

I don't think you actually do that deep of a dive. It's very surface level. Yeah. Okay. Seeing other people cry can easily make you feel like you want to cry too. Strong disagree. Yeah. Like strong.

It's a terrible joy. Too strong. Yeah. I don't watch movies and cry, for example. Right. Okay. You often make a backup plan for a backup plan. No.

That's a strong disagree. You don't even. I've never seen you make a plan. I don't like to plan things. I'm just like. Take me where to go and we'll figure it out on the day. That's right. That's right.

You usually stay calm, even under a lot of pressure. Not the most, because I've been known to get frazzled occasionally, but I will say a medium agree. What is something that frazzled you? Like when family's involved and like I have to like make sure that my parents are comfortable and also I have to go here and I feel bad. It's like, oh, I have to, I want to play poker with my friends, but my mom wants to see me for dinner and so now I feel guilty leaving early and it's just like a lot of internal

turmoil. Even your internal, your turmoil is internal. It's internal turmoil. Oh my God. Intermoil. Yeah. An internal. I feel like even you losing your cool, people would be like, he's pretty calm.

Yeah. That's why I'm not going to go full. That's why I'm going to put you on strong agree. Oh, yeah. Like I said, it's a medium. Fuck it. Let's say neutral. That's worse.

I feel like we're waffled. Now you're starting to piss me off. All right. Nice. All right. Medium or strong. Yeah. Strong medium agree.

Yeah. Medium agree, not light agree. That's the idea. Yeah. Okay. At social events, you rarely try to introduce yourself to new people and mostly talk to the ones you already know. Strongest agree.

Yeah. Strongest. You don't make a lot of new friends. Okay. Do you want to hear your results? No. That's it. Thanks for listening, everybody.

We'll be back next week. I'll answer some more Kobe questions. You prefer to completely finish one project before starting another. I'm trying to zoom out and see what they're trying to say about me and see if I can answer it that way. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't. Got reaction.

I don't even think about starting or finishing things. So that's right. I'm just always doing things. I'm also neutral. Yeah, I'll just go neutral. But I guess, yeah. You're indifferent. You're indifferent.

So you don't prefer. I don't know. I'm thinking about it. Now that I'm like, no, I just don't know which way I would go on this one. Do you happen to have any inclination? I mean, I just feel like by the nature of what we do, we never finish projects. Right. It feels like there's lots of hanging or ongoing things.

Let's just do this and then we'll do this. Then we have to do this. Yeah. But let's go neutral. I don't feel strongly one way or another. Yeah. Okay. You are very sentimental.

Hmm. See, that's different than like being sensitive. Right. Am I sentimental? Do you reflect on things and appreciate them? Maybe a little bit. I don't think I'm anti-sentimental. Like I don't throw away childhood photos of my family and friends and I'm like, I don't

need this right now. Right. Yeah. Like, oh, it's a picture of me and my high school friends. I'll keep it. Yeah. Okay. The lightest agree.

Light agree. All right. I might agree with that light agree. You like to use organizing tools. What's that supposed to mean? Schedules. Like, oh, I see. Yeah.

Now I'm like really pissed off. Right. You actually are pretty quick to fly off the handle. I'm going to go back. Do I like to be organized? What were we talking about? Sorry. I'm starting a new project slash podcast.

I like to be organized basically using tools to help me organize. Yeah. Tools. Schedules. List. Yeah. Sure. I mean, I have a Google calendar.

That's the thing. But you're so disorganized. This is fucking. You don't have an organizing tool. No. I guess a calendar is all I need. Yeah. I invite you to the Google calendar events.

Yes. I don't even know if you can say that you use that. I use it. I don't create it. I don't create it. Yeah. But I do often check it. I'm not like, yeah, I'm often texting people back and on top of that world or something.

Yeah, I texted them. I invited them. I just didn't hear back. Right. You're on top of your stuff. Yeah. But are you on top of your stuff because you have a good memory or because you use organizing tools like schedules and lists?

Lists I don't use. Schedules I do. Light agree. Medium agree or light agree? I'm not like completely all over the place or I'm like, I don't know where my passport is and I think my wallet is a deck of cards somewhere. Okay. Strong agree.

Let's go light. Light. Okay. Good. Even a small mistake can cause you to doubt your overall abilities and knowledge. Strong disagree. I'm very, I'm very confident in who I am. That's nice.

Yeah. I don't doubt myself regardless of the many, many failures and setbacks. Speaking of facts, feeling confident in who you are, are you comfortable just walking up to someone you find interesting and striking up a conversation? I'm not. Thank you for asking. I would never do that. Strong disagree.

Strong, strong disagree. Wow. Like I'm not like, unless I'm drunk, which I rarely am at a party. I'm not going up to somebody like, your hair is so cool, pink. That's so funny. Like what made you want to do that? I wouldn't do that. Yeah.

Okay. That's good. You're not too interested in discussing various interpretations and analyses of creative works. I would say that's pretty true. Whenever we finish a movie, Avi tells like, I got to see like reviews of it and what people thought. Yeah. I'm like, I don't care what other people thought.

The same thing happens when Jill and I see a movie. She like wants to talk about it and dissect it, like compare it to other work and she'll like, watch the credits. I'm like, I already forgot that happened. I was on my phone for half of it. I watched it. I liked it. Now it's gone.

Yeah. I don't mind talking about it, sure, but like I don't need to know what the rotten tomato score was. So would you say this is discussing various interpretations and analysis? But then again, with sports, I do. I do a deep dive of like basketball. This is a creative work. Yeah.

So this is, so yeah. Medium disagree. Medium disagree. Okay. You are more inclined to follow your head than your heart. Yeah. Strongest disagree. I'm mostly head.

Very little heart. Wait. So you're strong. Agree. Yeah. Strong. Agree. That's an interesting one.

Yeah. Weighing pros and cons. What will the monetary output be and then follow that path? Okay. You usually prefer just doing what you feel like at any given moment instead of planning a particular daily routine. Sorry. I thought that was my result.

So okay. Great. Now I know that about myself. You kind of, what was it? According to this quiz, I prefer, what was that last one? Doing what you feel like at any given moment instead of planning a particular daily routine. No, I got a, I got a good routine. So I disagree with that.

Yeah. Disagree. Strong. Medium light. Hmm. Medium disagree. You rarely worry about whether you make a good impression on people you meet. That's a strong agree.

That is very strong. You agree. You don't get involved. I do find myself like not being, and it is to a fault. Like I'm not very effusive and nice. Abhital is much better at that. Like, oh, saying hi and saying goodbye and like when somebody leaves being like, bye, this person's name.

Nice to meet you. I never like say that person's name. Yeah. I never say bye. You take a long time to warm up to people, but when you do, you really stick, you're, you're like steady friend. Maybe that's what it is. I think that I'm friendlier up top and in the long run, less friendly.

You're less friendly up top, but in the long run, more friendly. As long as the relationship lasts a long time. But then I also hear people like Tel Abhital like, oh, he's so nice. I really liked him. And then she's like, why? Like he didn't do anything that exciting when he met, like I give off maybe my lack of caring or falseness of like politeness and manners makes some people like that. Yeah.

You don't have. Or they're so nice in a way that I'm not that they say stuff like that. Right. Like I'll never meet someone's boyfriend and text that person later be like, I had an awesome time. Your friends are awesome. Whereas like that's a fun, good thing that somebody else would do. Yeah, definitely.

I do a follow up text. Yeah. That is, that's interesting. That's interesting. Yeah. I remember you like one time we had like hired interns at College Humor and you just like ripped ass in front of them at one point. Yeah.

And I was like, I would never fart in front of new people, but you don't care. Yeah. And did that make them like me more? Do they love you? I was a legend for that. Holy shit. The legend of Fartor Vance. Fartor Vance.

Nice. You enjoy participating in group activities. I strongly agree. I do like group activities. Okay. Nice. Books and movies that make you come up with your own interpretation of the ending. That was like a real roller coaster.

You like books, no, end movies. Okay. That make you come up with your own interpretation. That end open ended. So it lets you fill in the blank as they say. I guess light disagree. I like a nice story that wraps itself up in a way that makes sense. Not like, yeah, they don't say whether he lives or dies because it's sort of open to

you. So they did a cop out. I never liked that before, but as I've gotten older, I've started to because I just hate sad endings now. So you could just interpret it as joy. Yeah. So I just like happy ending. Just like how weak is it at like the end of that like lost in translation where it's

like he walks up to her and whispers something that we can't hear. It's like, okay, so you didn't come up with something interesting and now you just did that. That's so fucking lame. I actually never saw that movie, but that sounds awful. Yeah. Okay. So happiness comes more from helping others accomplish things than your own accomplishments.

My happiness comes from helping others versus my own. Yeah. Probably. I mean, a lot. This is where me being truthful and honest is high because a lot of people would say yes to this. Nobody wants to be like, yes, I prefer my joy to other people or my accomplishments rather. But I do.

Like I get happier when I do something good than when somebody else does. I'm sorry. Even the way I would think about it, like I don't think I would agree to this for like most people. It's not like I'm at work trying to like help everyone before me, but I think that like I put my family first or something. Like having helped my brother or loved one come up like accomplish something or Jill, I would be happier.

I think. But like you can still be like, I'm happy for my friends when they succeed, but I'd rather me succeed. You never told me good job. If I had to choose between me and a friend succeeding, you'd have to think you would choose you. Well, that's, but that's, so that's more like survival. Where does your happiness come more from?

You succeeding? I feel, I guess I feel more joy with me succeeding, but it's not like I don't feel joy with them. It's like, so I feel 100 and with them I feel 95. All right. So it sounds like a light agree. Yeah. It's like if I, or like disagree, if you, here's a good example. You were at Vegas and you put a thousand dollars on red and you hit it.

You're fucking jumping up for joy. That was amazing. And what a great hit for you. Right. If I tell you I came back from Vegas and I put a thousand dollars on red and I hit it, you wouldn't be like, yeah, yes, but you didn't, but you didn't help me in that case. Imagine.

Oh, it's, it's specifically that I helped others. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's a little different. Right. You're having this because then it's still coming from you. Yeah. I helped him and that person.

Oh, like I got a job that you put me up for and put me, put in a good word. It's almost better because it's your accomplishment and theirs in one. Yes. Or. We would celebrate more if we both put in 500 bucks than if you only put it in the house. Put in your Vegas example. Yeah.

So I'll say. It's like you told me, it's like you told me what to put it on. You're like, put it on red. In that case, you would be an asshole if you're like, I prefer only me and not them to both of us together. So I'll say strong agree, but not the strongest. Okay. Medium agree.

Yeah. I think that was a real fucking roller coaster. It really was. You're interested in so many things that you find it difficult to choose what to try next. Strong disagree. I don't have so many hobbies that I can't focus on one. But are you prone to worrying that things will take a turn for the worst? I'm pretty nihilistic and like generally baseline things are bad and we'll get awful, but I'm

not like, oh my God, what if I get hit by a bus? Right. It seems like the world is heading to a bad place and an unsustainable level of global warming. Is that worrying or is it being fine with it? Okay. Yeah. That seems more like it's your, you have a pessimistic attitude about the world, not

like, um, think, oh, something's going well. Like, uh, it's time for the other shoe to drop. Right. Exactly. Yeah. I'm on vacation. Well, I guess now it's time for it to rain. All right.

So I'll say medium disagree. You avoid leadership roles in group settings. Do we have another test or is this the whole episode is this? This is the whole episode. I'm going to pause us on 50% right now we're 33% done with this test. Okay. Okay. Uh, so what's the question?

You avoid leadership roles in group settings. Um, yes, that's true. I do. Strong. Strong. Especially on a zoom, like I'll let you talk because sometimes two people are talking at the same time or like, if it's a four person zoom, I'm like, I really don't have to say anything here.

Like three people talking is more than enough. Totally. And when I, when that's happening to me, I'm like, well, I guess no one's going to talk. I have to do it. Yeah. But I wonder what would happen if I just don't. Yeah. But I often like just quickly assume responsibility.

Um, all right. You were definitely not an artistic type of person. I agree. Not really. But it's going to work. Comedy. Really. Yes.

Really. Really. I have several outlets of my social media that I use vociferously and prolifically. I'm going to absolute maven slash Sven Jolly of myself since 2006, we haven't missed a week. Strong. I agree. Episodes of the show.

Podcasts. Zero breaks. 15 years. Never stopped. Yeah. We're adding a fucking second one now for some reason. People take two weeks off. They never have months off sabbaticals that can't happen.

Not with us. You work hard before and after. No respite. That's what it takes to be an artist. You think the world would be a better place if people relied more on rationality and less on their feelings. Oh, huge. That's a good tattoo for me.

Great. Yeah. Big agree. That's my life moniker, I guess. And do you prefer to do your chores before allowing yourself to relax? I like to say agree, but probably not. There are days where I'm like, I really should fold the laundry and then I can chill and then it's like, I'll just take a bath and fall asleep.

I'll do that tomorrow. Wild. Yeah. Would you say that's a strong disagree or a medium disagree? Let's go light disagree. I'd like to live like that, but I don't. I see. Okay.

You enjoy watching people argue. You think real, like real arguments, like my parents yelling at each other or like reality tea. I think this is like, it depends on the like nature of the argument. Like sometimes friends are joking arguments and it's very funny. If you, I guess like, it's like, if you saw a couple fighting at a bar, would you watch? I would like to. Yes.

Okay. So is that medium agree? Light agree? Let's go medium agree. You tend to avoid drawing attention to yourself. Ooh, good question. I think so. Right.

Yeah. But like when you, when you're around your friends, you like it. Yeah. I'm a class clown amongst friends, but like at a party, you're talking to just a friend. So would you say strong agree, light agree, medium agree? Let's go medium agree. Your mood can change very quickly. No.

Strong disagree. I agree. I agree with that. Yeah. You lose patience with people who are not as efficient as you lose patience. If someone's not doing something right because there's a better way to do it. Are you like, you suck, you know? Yeah.

Or do I at least think that, but not act on it because I don't want to be rude. Right. You don't lose patience. Yeah. I don't know. It's hard because like patience, you could fake patience and that's still patient. Like if somebody's first day at the job and they're like not doing well, I'm like, don't worry about it.

But I'm inside. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Right. Am I patient or not? I think that's patience. Because I'm able to suppress how angry I actually am. Right. That's all, I think that's all that patience is.

It's not actually asking you to be calm, is it? Yeah. Showing patience. You can't tell me to alter my thoughts. Can you? It's all about who can mask it the most. Right. I mean, what you can, the max you can do for yourself is probably better, but the max

you can do for society, that's all anyone could ask. Yeah. A thin veneer of politeness. But I'm sure somebody's sweet, like your mother or something is actually very kind. Even her inner monologue is like, this is, don't worry about it. I can't imagine my first day. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe. Unless inside she's hiding a world of demons that she would never even show you about. I know she hates you. Okay. How would I actually mention slash brought up? Or wanted to hear. Or needed to hear.

I am, patient is what it's asking me. Do you lose patience with people who are not as efficient as you? I'll go strong disagree. I don't lose patience. Yeah. You often end up doing things at the last possible moment. Slight agree. I do like to like, I'm not packing the morning of a trip, but I'm also not packing like two

days in advance. Right. Yeah. Well, that's crazy because you have the toiletries that you kind of use right up until the last second. Yeah. And like what it takes me like 20 minutes to put shirts in a suitcase. What do you want me to like do that on Tuesday if I'm leaving on Friday?

Great. Now I have shirts in the suit. You'll often show up in a city needing to shop though. I'll need. I'll have not had toothpaste for example. Okay. Yeah. I've always been fascinated by the question of what, if anything happens after death.

Strong disagree. I see. Nothing happens. Curiosity. Yeah. Okay. That's not me. So you're not fascinated by that.

That puts us exactly at halfway. Wow. So let's take that quick break and we'll come out. I need to like decompress after that. Yeah. It was too much reflecting. Because you were pissed that I wasn't doing it as efficiently as you. And the load only fans during the break.

Denied. Denied. You're already doing it. Denied I said. Thank you to Helix Sleep for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yes. Thank you for making the sleep test, the sleep exam and letting me ace it and become the doctor of the mattress.

Yes sir. Yeah. It makes a really great mattress line and you take a little sleep quiz to see what mattress is right for you. Yeah right. Jake's been bragging about completing this two minute honestly like Buzzfeed light quiz. I know how you sleep for the better part of the decade. Excuse me.

I do not brag. I don't brag about completing it. I brag about acing it. Because you got the mattress and it was great or? Yeah. I got the perfect mattress. Thank God. Thank God I took that test.

If you want the perfect mattress you can go to helixsleep.com slash if I were you for 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows. Amazing. Free pillows? Come on. Yes. This is their best offer yet and no it won't last long with Helix. The better sleep starts now.

So regardless of how you sleep whether you like it soft, medium or firm, Helix has 20 unique mattresses just ready to go based on how you fill up that sleep preference and they'll send you the best one and if you go to helixsleep.com slash if I were you that's 20% off. Amazing. Thank you Helix. Sleep well. Thank you to Stamps.com for sponsoring this episode of our show.

Visiting the post office and dealing with shipping and handling is probably one of the most stressful parts of owning a business but with Stamps.com all you need is a computer and a printer and they can bring the post office in your office. So if you need a package pickup you can easily schedule it. If you need to sell products online Stamps.com seamlessly connects with every major marketplace and shopping cart. Running a business isn't cheap so Stamps.com has huge carrier discounts. We're talking up to 84% off USPS and UPS rates.

Holy smokes. And for 25 years Stamps.com has been indispensable for over one million businesses. So if one million businesses can trust Stamps.com certainly you can too. Set your business up for success with Stamps.com today just sign up with promo code if I were you for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. Wow. No long term commitments or contracts just go to Stamps.com you click the microphone

at the top of the page and enter code if I were you and that gets you a free four week trial free postage and a digital scale. That sounds pretty good. Thank you Stamps.com for sponsoring this show. And we are back with the second half to find out what Amir is and why he is. Are you ready? I can't wait to find out who I am and why and when and how and how you usually prefer to be around others rather than on your own.

Not all the time but yeah I guess I prefer to be with people like I'm never gonna travel by myself that doesn't sound nice to me. I agree. Let's go medium agree because sometimes I do like to be alone. So okay you become bored or lose interest when the discussion gets highly theoretical. Bored or lose interest it's theoretical. I guess that depends on the definition of what's an example of a theoretical conversation. Okay theoretical conversation.

So it's I don't want to bring it back to the death thing. Let's talk about let's make it about creating art. Where do you where do you go to create? What kind of mental headspace do you want to be in? That's pretty so yeah I do get bored at that kind of stuff. It's got to be real. I like to keep it real if you do. Keep it when hun it.

Strong agree medium agree? Strong agree. You find it easy to empathize with a person whose experiences are very different from yours. I will say I understand and appreciate the plight of people who are different than me to fully empathize like feel bad in a way that they're feeling bad. Maybe not the strongest. I'll go light agree.

Light agree. Yeah. You usually because I have a law degree. Nice. Congrats. I didn't know that. You usually postpone finalizing decisions for as long as possible. Yeah that's true.

I'd like to have the most time to make up my mind. Okay. Is that a strong agree? Strong agree. You rarely second guess the choices that you have made. I do sometimes but not all the time. I'll go medium disagree. Medium disagree.

You mean that would oh wait yeah you know wait that makes it so you it does it says you second guess them a lot. Okay so I rarely do it. Yeah but I do sometimes. Okay cool. Um after a long and exhausting week a lively social event is just what you need. No. No I don't think I need the social event.

You barely yeah okay. After a long week too. After a long week. Yeah I need to like. You want to ramp up to a to an event. Yeah. If you have a big event you want to have a light week. Yes light week.

Okay after a long and exact final. Finite energy. Okay so um that's a strong disagree it sounds. Yeah. Um okay doke. You enjoy going to art museums. Uh medium disagree. It's not the worst thing in the world but I'm never actively going to seek it out.

No you're not very cultured but it's not like. You don't have to say that. I just said it's like you're kind of a plebeian. Not really I actually do appreciate it. I'm gonna agree. We're gonna talk about films. We're gonna talk about art theory. You barely talk about art history and any time I get theoretical you do now.

It's antithetical. You never come to my art parties. Or parties for short. You have nice. You have you often have a hard time understanding other people's feelings. No I I understand other people's feelings. Okay. So is that a strong agree medium?

Uh I have a hard time understanding. What's that? Yeah strongly disagree. Strong disagree. Yeah. I wouldn't necessarily share those feelings but I understand them. I think you're done for having them but I know what they are. Trust me I get where you're coming from.

I fucking want to put you on a medium disagree on that but okay. You like to have a to-do list for each day. Uh. Light disagree. I mean it's nice to have a thing of things to do but I'm not writing them down yeah. So disagree so light disagree. Light disagree. Okay.

Um you rarely feel insecure. That's true. Strong agree. Strong agree. I rarely feel insecure. I would love that. You avoid making phone calls. Uh yeah I don't like making phone calls that's true.

But uh medium. Medium. Yeah. I prefer a text. You have a tiny little chicken dick and no nads. Wow. Let's go strong agree on to the next one. You often spend a lot of time trying to understand views that are very different from your own.

About your chickeny dick. Cluck cluck you small pubed man. What was that? I already I was thinking about making the joke and wasn't listening. You often spend a lot of time trying to understand views that are very different from your own. No I do not spend a lot of time doing that. So that's a strong disagree. Yeah.

Alright. We are almost done. Holy shit. I'm scared. In your social circle you're often the one who contacts your friends and initiates activities. Low. Yeah. Strong disagree.

Uh medium disagree. If your plans are interrupted your top priority is to get back on track as soon as possible. Uh. I mean I guess if I'm going somewhere and it gets derailed I'd like to still go there. Alright well what about if it's not like a trip that's like planned for your day. Like I'm I'm going to answer these emails I'm going to write this script but then you have to like go bring your dog to the vet when you come back and get to work. Depending on what time of day it is.

You'll say this is a wash. Yeah. It all depends. It's too. I'll do neutral because I can't I can't feel strongly either. Okay. You are still bothered by mistakes that you made a long time ago. False.

Not. Still bothered. Strong. Strong disagree. You rarely contemplate the reasons for human existence or the meaning of life. Yeah. Strong agree. I rarely do that.

Yeah. I agree with that. I agree. You rarely do. That's very philosophical. Oh and let me guess. You you do that. You spend a lot of time.

I'm a deep thinker. I'm a Socrates. I am a Plato. I am an Aristotle. You think Socrates wore Socrates? No. Nice. That's as fucking much as you think about Socrates and you know he didn't.

Your emotions control you more than you control them. That's a strong disagree. Yeah. I control my emotions. But you do. You do take great care not to make people look bad even when it is completely their fault. Hmm.

Or do you relish when somebody falls flat on their ass? Depends on the situation. I like proving people wrong. People uncultured swine. Yeah. I don't want to embarrass anybody who's trying their hardest. But if like I think one thing and they're wrong about it I'll bring it up. Yeah.

So you don't mind if someone looks bad. No. As long as it makes me good. Right. They can be bad. So would you say a strong disagree? I would say I've already answered it and this interview is over. I'm going to do a strong disagree.

I actually don't think we should continue recording. We have about 10 more questions today actually. I actually think I have to go. You and your personal work style is closer to spontaneous bursts of energy than organized and consistent efforts. No. We're consistent. If anything.

Yeah. We're not good but we do it all the time. Correct. A little bit of everything all of the time. Yes. And when someone thinks highly of you you wonder how long it's going to take them to feel disappointed in you. Never think that.

If they think highly I'm enjoying it and moving on. I'm never like why when will it end. Yeah. Okay. Good. That sounds healthy. You would love a job. You would love a job.

Oh you would love it. Oh you would love a job. Sure. That requires you to work alone most of the time. No I would not like that job. So I'm strong disagree. You believe that pondering abstract philosophical questions is a waste of time. I actually think talking about this philosophical question has been a waste of time.

We're being a dead horse. Yeah. Like I would not take this test if not for a pod. Yeah. So that's a strong agree. Yeah. You feel more drawn to places with busy bustling atmospheres than quiet intimate places. I mean with COVID it's a different game.

You don't like to be in the very. Yeah. This test was not designed with COVID in mind. So think try to channel pre-COVID times. Yeah. Things can get too crowded. Like I don't like concerts and stuff. So I'll go strongly agree or lightly agree lightly agree because that's the like sporting

events. Oh wait. That's actually light disagree that you feel more drawn to places with busy but you're not like disagree. Yeah. Okay. You know at first glance how someone is feeling. I'm pretty intuitive and I can read the room.

Really? So I'll say strong disagree because they're going to attack me for that. So I'm already out thinking of the game. Really? Really? Oh my note is bleeding. I'll fucking pick neutral. Yes.

I know. Wait. Is this how people are feeling? Yeah. You know at first glance how someone is feeling. Yeah. Medium agree. Medium agree.

Yeah. Okay. These are the last five, six questions. Excuse me. Holy shit. You often feel overwhelmed. Strong disagree. You complete things methodically without skipping over any steps.

Medium agree. You're very intrigued by things labeled as controversial. Lightly agree. It sounded intrigued when I said the word controversial. Who would, sorry, you would pass along a good opportunity if you thought someone else needed it more. Sure. I'll help a friend in need.

Even if it's something you want. Yeah. So light agree, medium agree, strong. Medium. You struggle. Because I still want to shush. Get that kick back, you see. You struggle with deadlines.

I don't think so. Strong disagree. Medium disagree. No, I'll go strong. Yeah. I can't remember the last time I was late on a deadline. You feel confident that things will work out for you? Pretty agree.

Again, the state of the world is in constant decline, but me personally I think I'm doing just fine. Is that medium, light, strong? Let's go medium. Because at the same time, I'll be dead eventually. And now it's time for your results. Oh my god, I'm fucking scared. It calls you an uncultured chicken dick loser.

There's no way. Because you did the strong agree on the chicken dick. So it just slid that one right in there. Okay. So your personality type is logistician. Okay, that sounds about right. I is introvert. That makes sense to me.

Yes, you're 71% introvert. Yeah, I don't gain energy from parties. That's right. And speaking of energy, this trait shows where we direct our mental energy. You are not as intuitive as you are observant, 83% observant. No, I'm not into it. Thank you. You're not.

Thank you, though. I appreciate the insight. Very intuitive. Enough to know that this fucking test doesn't define me. What else does it say? It says that you are 53% thinking, 47% feeling. That's pretty right down the middle. Yeah, I would think I'm more thinking than feeling, but hey, what do I know?

But a little bit, the algorithm says all. Tactics. This trait reflects your approach to work planning and decision making. You're mostly 53% judging, 47% prospecting. Your identity, you are 94% assertive, 6% turbulent. What the heck is that? 94 to 6. That's a huge disparity.

Wow. There's a lot of stuff to learn about this. What's the 94 to 6 thing observing versus what? Turbulent. No, assertive versus turbulent. I think that's like... Stoic and not getting unwavered. I think assertive is like you handle stuff.

You're not like, you don't get frazzled. You don't get, you don't freak out, stressed. The logistician personality type is thought to be the most abundant, making up around 13% of the population. They're defining characteristics of integrity, practical logic, and tireless dedication to duty make logisticians a vital core to many families as well as organizations that uphold traditions, rules, and standards such as law offices, regulatory bodies, military and podcast networks.

There you go. That's amazing. Pilaterian pot, the big two at the end right there. People with the logistician personality type enjoy taking responsibility for their actions and take pride in the work they do. When working towards a goal, logisticians hold back none of their time and energy completing each relevant task with accuracy and patience. Interesting.

So I'm not like a frazzled artist who is very sensitive. You lead a life of integrity when logisticians say they're going to get something done. They do it, meeting their obligations no matter the personal cost, even with their slender little hencock. This is no way. I think it's because you said yes to the chicken dick. If you go back and change that question, I wonder if it doesn't necessarily bring up the hencock.

Logisticians have actually got that on a hen-do. Fact-based minds prefer autonomy and self-sufficiency to reliance on someone or something. That is interesting. You have a lot of dedication. There's a lot of this stuff. So let's go on to your strengths and weaknesses. Which I'm sure there are a lot of strengths and not necessarily enough weaknesses. And I get that.

There's some famous logisticians out there. You might be familiar with them. They are Sting. Like Ditka and Galileo. Don't stand, don't stand so. Nice. Denzel Washington. Ever heard of him?

Today's your training day, Officer Hoyt. Angela Merkel. You know her? You're just describing the hottest people I know. And Natalie Frick and Portman. Also born in Israel, I think. Not to mention Anthony Hopkins, Condoleezza Rice, George H.W. Bush. I'm from the USA, but I'm voting for Condoleezza Rice.

Then they have some fake ones, Eddard Stark. That doesn't track Hermione Granger. He has all mythical wizards. And Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice. He's nice. Okay. Wow. You also, Jason Bourne, but I want it to be him.

Okay. Honest and direct, strong-willed and dutiful, very responsible, calm and practical. You create and enforce order and you're a jack of all trades. But your weaknesses. Not really. Yes. I'm sorry you haven't said them yet. Stubborn.

I'm defensive. Yeah. Stubborn. Sure. Insensitive. Well. Always by the book. Depends on who you ask.

Judgmental. Depends on the book. Often then reasonably blame themselves. And last but not least. I guess I could take on a little bit too much responsibility over the course of a day, but I don't trust anybody else. I don't think so about my cock. Penis of a chicken.

Your romantic relationships deeply committed a reliable heart. Your friendships, the gift of loyalty, better together. Why are you taking fucking joy in these? Better together. Better together. Always have at least one intuitive friend in their inner circle. That's me. Really?

I am INFJ. Interesting. Despite the disconnect the two perspectives bring. Very interesting. Okay. Let's get you to parenthood because I do think you deserve to be a father. You will lead by principle. At the very least an uncle.

And career paths a steadfast mind. You obviously have a good career as a military officer, lawyer, judge, police officer or a detective. Holy mackerel. How would you like to be a detective? Imagine me as a private eye. Depends on the hours, but I'd consider it an open and shut case. This quiz describes you a logistician as the backbone of society.

So congratulations about that. Your workplace habits. You crave responsibility which makes you the go to subordinate for odds and ends and unpopular projects. It doesn't really track. That's sort of you actually. You're an unpopular project and I'm responsible for it. The company fucking say that?

I think so. Oh logistician manager. This is actually what you are. Logisticians love responsibility and the power resulting from it. That doesn't sound like me. But colleagues, no one can be trusted more to ensure that projects are finished on time and by the book than logisticians. I don't think that's true about you either.

This got you wrong there. I guess they had to ask me 70 more questions to really get to the root of that. So in conclusion, few personality types are as practical and dedicated as logisticians known for their reliability and hard work. Logisticians are good at creating and maintaining a secure and stable environment for themselves and their loved ones. Logisticians dedication is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal results. Ladies and gentlemen, the Myers Brig.

Very very cool. Were there any of these questions that you think you would answer completely opposite to me or was it like mostly in my realm? I think maybe not completely opposite, but there are definitely some group activities. A lot of the theoretical stuff I like talking about. I don't like talking about other people's art necessarily, but I do like talking about spiritual shit, but like astrology and stuff like that. Not that kind of spiritual shit.

I kind of like talking about people's motivations and their wants and needs and their hopes and dreams. I like doing that like almost like a therapist or something. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. But otherwise, I think we're pretty dang similar, but you're not quite a logistician.

No. I'm not. That's a very important member of any team. I think I'm ENFJ. That's the one. Yes. That's me, ENFJ A slash ENFJ T. The T stands for the chicken dick.

Extroverted, intuitive, feeling and judging. That's my shit. Interesting. So close, but not. We're more of a compliment, but also close. I think so. Do you want to hear my strengths and weaknesses real quick? Not really, just because I don't necessarily care.

I'm receptive. I can kind of understand what people are wanting and I can get to them. I'm reliable. I have it to do this. I'm reliable. You can depend on me. I'm passionate, altruistic, and charismatic, and weakness-wise, doesn't say I have any. That's insane.

That's wild. There's no way that's realistic. One is unrealistic. I paid for the pro account, so it says that you have no weaknesses. Oh, my unrealistic and, oh, I see, unrealistic, overly idealistic, condescending, intense, and overly empathetic. The weaknesses to me really ring true. I am intense, and I am overly empathetic, and you are actually overly pathetic, too.

We are over time, and you'll take that back before we sign off. That was a joke. Or you two stubborn, you fucking logistician. Call me the logistician. All right, thank you for listening to my personality test. Glad you have one. We'll add another testing testing next week, right? That's right.

One last one. One last test to rule them all. I'm going to give you a driving exam. Huge. Yeah. It won't make for a good podcast, but we'll see a video of you parallel parking. I actually fucking own it parallel parking, so that'd be great. Okay.

All right, I'll think about how to do that, and we'll be back, I'm sure, on Monday as always. Yes, that's correct. And we'll see you soon. And don't forget to check out our Patreon. That's right. Patreon.com. J.A.

Don't forget to follow us on Instagram, because we now own Jake and Amir, and we're on Instagram and TikTok and Twitter at Jake and Amir. So check those out as well. Yeah. We'll be back soon enough. Bye, everybody. Bye. That was a Hidgum Original.