If I Were You - Testing Testing: Porn
Episode Date: July 29, 2021Back for another "Testing Testing" Thursday and Amir is administrating the hottest quiz of all. How well does Jake know his pornography? Let's find out.Advertise on If I Were You via Gu...mball.fm.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.
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This is a headgum original.
All right, we're back, baby. Back on a Thursday, Thursday.
Thursday.
In the club going up.
On a Thursday.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's fun.
Okay, Barkeep.
I'll have a margarita and a hot toddy,
and I'll be grinding with a bae on the dance floor.
Oh!
You struck me.
A hot toddy on the dance floor.
Can I get a mulled wine for my lady,
and let's do shots.
Little sips as you're fucking fist pumping.
Careful.
Careful. Don't dance into me.
This is scalding.
You're grinding in a cabin.
It's February 9th.
You're in upstate New York.
You're in an igloo.
There's whipped cream.
Actually, this test is kind of cool,
not unlike clubbing.
I found a...
Clear bang.
I found an exam.
Well, I was able to actually cobble together little quizzes
to sort of call it an exam.
Interesting.
Because I wanted to give you something
that would let you shine
without necessarily boring the audience.
So like, I know you're into hot rods,
but like, what's the point?
I'm not gonna ask you about a carburetor or anything like that.
I've been building a hot rod in my garage.
Yeah.
It also can't be like, you know, visual.
Like, I can show you a fucking chassis from a 57 ship.
Right.
And I would get that all day.
All day.
Continental Mark II, 1956.
Very nice.
Very choice.
You can tell.
The elegant curve.
On an Edsel carburetor.
Come on.
So this is a porn quiz.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah.
Really good stuff.
That's gonna really make me look good to everybody
when I know I'm gonna have...
I feel like I'm gonna have to pretend to be stumped
every once in a while.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, it's a quiz that like, it's kind of a checkmate
because if you do poorly, it's kind of sad.
But if you do awesome, it's also kind of sad a little bit.
Yeah.
Right.
But if you do fine, and it has to be like all things
that I learned through porn in pop culture.
Right.
Not trolling Pornhub in the wee hours.
Before we get into the questions, I guess I wanted to ask you
about your porn history.
If you were to chart it over time, when do you think
you were the most into it?
And how have you been doing lately?
Was the pandemic a hit or a boon?
You know, the pandemic was tough
for a while.
The studios weren't making new porn.
I don't know at what stage porn opened.
I thought you were gonna say that.
It was tough because our studio is closed.
No, no.
So I couldn't sort of go into one of our side offices
and, you know, crank one out.
Crank one out, yeah.
Yeah.
When was I most into porn?
I don't know.
It feels like it's always kind of been...
It's kind of always been the same.
Steady?
Steady as she goes when you first discovered it.
You haven't gotten up or down much ever since.
Yeah, really no.
It feels like I've always been obsessed
ever since the first time I came.
And it's never stopped.
That's nice.
That's actually beautiful.
You can almost say that your most long-lasting,
committed, healthy relationship is that between you
Me and Eva Lovia.
and well.
All right.
Should we get into it?
Yeah.
I suppose...
Yeah, I suppose so.
Some warm-up questions just to get us in the groove
slash flow.
As you know, porn is nothing without its abbreviations.
You're gonna want to search these terms,
but you don't want to type it all out.
You have some J-ing-o to do.
Even J-ing-o is an acronym.
Yeah, that's right.
That's true.
Who has the time?
A lot of these search terms have quick,
abbreviated versions of themselves.
For example, BBW stands for what?
A big beautiful woman.
That's good.
That's correct.
I was gonna give you some answer choices,
but why waste the time?
I forgot it.
A few of these seem kind of random slash obscure to me,
but maybe they're not.
What BB stands for?
Just BB.
BB.
Big boobs?
I'll give you the option.
I had never heard of this one either.
So, there's blonde on brunette,
ball bouncing,
big and beautiful,
or bareback.
Ooh.
Let's go ball bouncing.
No, according to Buzzfeed, it's bareback.
I'm not really sure what a bareback is
in terms of port.
Is that no condom?
I think that's usually what bareback means, isn't it?
Yeah.
BB.
I guess so.
Interesting.
What about DP?
Double penetration.
That one's a classic.
I don't need the choices there.
Basically, if I need the choices, I'll get it wrong.
Here's another term.
It's not an acronym,
but do you know what a glory hole is?
Of course.
Let me know if you need the answer choices.
No, I don't need the answer choices.
Yeah.
It's a hole in the wall that you put your cock through
and someone sucks it or fucks it.
It's not that hard.
You can kind of infer what it is from the glory aspect of it.
What about we're going on set?
Do you know what a fluffer is?
Yeah.
I don't think those are real anymore,
or I don't know if they ever were,
but it was someone whose job it was to keep the male porn star hard
in between takes.
Yeah.
Which is a very funny job.
Which is having sex with a porn star.
What's the fluffer going to do?
Just have to give him a handy on the side.
I wanted that to be my first job,
but instead I got an internship at College Humor.
Wow.
Ricky kind of saved your life.
Or ruined it?
Depending on how you look at it.
Here's a term I had not heard before.
Let's see if you have.
Do you know what sounding is?
Sounding.
Sounding.
Yeah.
I guess I'm going to need the terms.
So I don't.
I'll give you a lifeline here.
Right.
It's the technical term for grunting,
or rough massaging,
or a sound effect added after the shoot,
or when something is inserted into a man's urethra.
Ooh.
Because I know,
based from my other passion,
which is Napoleonic era,
British naval warfare novels,
sounding the well is when you would take,
you would basically drop something
into the bottom of the ship.
And if you could hear the thud,
it would mean that it wasn't sinking,
or it wasn't taking water,
or something along those lines.
So I'm going to go with the penetrating the urethra thing,
because it kind of seems like sounding a ship.
That is correct.
Wow.
Wow.
I mean, combining your two hobbies like that,
that was really advanced.
Just like jerking off in historical fiction,
that's my shit.
You should write porn that takes place
on some sort of sea vessel.
Yeah.
1700s or something.
That would be perfect for me.
Were there any women on those ships,
or that's a pure man-dominated society?
There were women on the ships,
but it was only because some captains
liked to travel with their families.
Sometimes the women would be transported
from like a port in Portsmouth to Lisbon,
so the carpenter's wife, the gunner's wife,
they would come on that type of thing.
Sometimes they'd watch the children,
because there were young boys on the ships.
It's really sweet.
What's ATM?
Ask to mouth.
Yes, dude.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Absolutely.
Ask to fucking mouth.
Oh, yeah.
Sometimes boys as young as six
would be little midshipmen
in joining the ranks of flag officer,
admiral of the fleet.
Pretty cool to be a young reefer
in the mizzen top,
just watching the waves day by day.
A deck hand as it were.
Get your sea legs a little early,
sort of move up the ranks from there.
Very nice.
How would you describe a cream pie?
Oh, that's when you nut in the badge, man.
God damn, I hate myself.
Yeah, no, that is, it's orgasmic.
It's insensitive, buddy, in port.
Your two hobbies are porn and port.
It's P-O-R-something.
This is a word I didn't know what it meant.
Let's see if you do.
Tribbing, T-R-I-B-B-I-N-G.
Have you ever heard of that one?
Tribbing.
I feel like I have seen that,
but I'm gonna need the choices to confirm.
Sex while wearing earplugs?
Weird.
Penetrating with everyday objects?
Hmm.
Scissoring?
Hmm.
Or sex with a condom?
Ooh.
Let's go penetrating with everyday objects.
Unfortunately, according to this BuzzFeed quiz,
tripping is scissoring.
Hmm, cool.
Have you heard about a spinner?
What's a spinner in porn?
Oh, I think that's just a really small girl, I think.
That's correct.
Yes, no answer choices needed, a very small woman.
I guess the thinking there is that you can, you know,
spinner.
Yeah, that is.
That's not my fetish, but it's a popular one.
I see it a lot.
Yeah, sometimes it's just like,
you can use context clues to figure it out.
Hmm, yeah.
Do you know what DVDA is?
DVDA.
Double vaginal, double anal or something?
That's correct.
Yes.
The D stands for double and the V in the A, well, you know,
obviously stands for vagina and ass, indeed.
It's kind of almost like a theoretical idea,
more than an actual thing.
Interesting.
What is, yeah, wait, what does that mean to be
like two and two going on in each hole at the same time?
It's almost like, yeah.
It's like absolute zero.
It exists only in theory.
Hard to imagine.
All right, we got some more, but let's take a break, come back
and see if Jake can figure out what the rest of these
terms stand for.
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Here's one I hadn't heard of before, but I saw in multiple quizzes.
What is Gonzo?
Gonzo is, I think it's just, it's like the way the porn is shot almost like amateur-ish.
It looks like a skate video.
Yes.
A type of pornography in which the camera is acknowledged and often used by the actors
to make the viewer feel like they're part of the scene.
Right.
And that's like Gonzo journalism.
Right.
It's like POV shit.
But do you ever search Gonzo or you just, you've seen it so much that it's sort of the, the
keywords have entered your subconscious.
I guess I, I don't usually call it Gonzo.
I would search POV, but also I feel like my browser knows me and so much in the hubs.
They know me so well that I don't really have to seek that shit out anymore.
It's delivered.
And it is earned.
I bought this tiny porno ship on the deck of he, he, he.
Farewell and adieu.
You fair Spanish ladies.
What would you call, or actually I should say, how would you describe a veggie scene?
A veggie scene.
I mean.
And I'm not just talking about the crudité they serve before everyone arrives on set.
Yeah.
What's crafty on a browser set?
Just a couple veggie scene.
I guess I just imagine it's penetration with carrots and cucumbers, corn and the like.
Yeah.
That's close, but it's, it's actually according to this, at least an all girl scene, AKA no
meat.
Oh, I see.
Cool.
Nice.
It's pretty good.
Yeah.
No meat in a veggie scene.
Have you heard of?
I mean, some of these have got to be fake.
A three-eyed turtle?
Three-eyed turtle.
Yeah.
I, let's just guess that it's a, it's a dick that previously had a Prince Albert piercing
that was removed so it then has three little holes in the urethra area.
No, this one is a, well, it's filling all the orifices of a female by putting fingers
in different holes.
And I guess it resembles that of a three-eyed turtle.
Again.
Interesting.
It seems pretty niche.
Yeah.
I had not heard that one.
Same.
It's not quite on the same level as DP or Gonzo, I guess.
All right.
Switching gears.
Right.
I wanted to figure out some sort of lightning round situation.
So I looked up a list of the top grossing porn stars of all time.
All time.
It's a list of 10.
Oh, actually, sorry.
It goes up to 14.
Do you think you can name, let's say half of these 14 people, highest grossing porn stars
of all time?
Some men, some women.
Oh, see, it's going to be tough because I feel like all time goes a little before my
heyday.
Like I'd be better at amateur porn stars, but I'll give it a shot.
I will give it a shot.
Highest.
Okay.
Let's put Jenna Jamison on there.
She's absolutely number one net worth according to, you know, this reputable source of scoopwoop.com
of 30 million.
So Jenna Jamison.
That's good.
Numero uno.
And since we're talking about male porn stars, it feels like it doesn't, like I think Ron
Jeremy's on there, but he blew all of the money because I saw him once in Burbank carrying
all of his stuff in a plastic shopping bag.
So I feel like he doesn't have the funds now, but let's say Ron Jeremy.
Ron Jeremy.
Number seven.
He did indeed blow all of his, according to like scoopwoop, $7.5 million net worth.
Okay.
Have you ever actually seen, like I know about Ron Jeremy, but have you ever actually seen
a porn with Ron Jeremy in it or just almost like a myth, a 70s porn that you've never
seen?
I think I've seen one because I like saw it out for that reason.
I was like, I should see a Ron Jeremy porn.
It's weird to not.
Yeah.
Damn.
What are some other really?
All timers.
All timers.
Yeah.
It's, I'm trying to think of like the Ginger Lynn.
Ginger Lynn is not on this list, but another GI name is.
Another GI.
Yeah.
Another GI.
A GI.
A.
Oh, like Gianna?
You're talking about Gianna Michaels.
Yeah.
That's right.
Gianna Michaels is 13th.
I guess she's appeared in over 500 porn films, net worth $4 million.
Gianna Michaels.
Shout out to Gianna.
Interesting.
I really don't buy any of these.
These numbers.
No, I don't.
But let's, I will say there's a man above Ron Jeremy.
Oh, is it Peter North?
It is Peter North.
Very good.
Number three on your list.
So you got number one, Jenna Jamison, number three, Peter North.
Number two is somebody I'd never heard of, but I guess she started in the 90s.
Right.
So it'd be somebody like Tara Patrick.
That is not correct.
Very good.
Wait.
Number two, Tara Patrick.
It's Tara Patrick.
Very good.
Okay.
Yes.
Very good.
Very interesting.
Good job.
Absolutely savage.
So you got the top three.
The rest, the top three.
Are a little obscure.
Number four.
Okay.
Number four is, I had heard of this person's name.
She was sort of 70s, 80s porn star.
Red hair.
This is who I was trying to come up with when I said ginger lint.
Maybe I was wrong.
What's her name?
Yeah.
Her initials are TL.
TL.
No idea.
Yeah.
No idea.
Tracy?
No.
Still don't know.
Tracy Lords at number four.
Tracy Lords.
Okay.
Yeah.
I guess one of the Mount Rushmore first one.
Another lady is her, whose initials are JJ.
That's not Jenna Jamison.
She seems to be, yeah, not Jenna Jamison, but it seems like she was named trying to fool
people into searching for Jenna Jamison, but it was actually, Jesse Jane, have you ever
heard of that?
Oh, Jesse Jane.
Yeah.
There's someone named Jesse James, I think, but Jesse Jane, I think I've heard of it,
but I'm not entirely sure.
And then there's just a series of names that sound familiar that I've never heard of.
Sasha Gray.
Of course.
Sasha Gray.
Yeah.
She was on Entourage.
Jenna Hayes.
Yep.
I know Jenna Hayes.
Yeah.
Totally.
Something, there's some like super famous Milflady that I forget.
It's not Tara Lin.
Something like that.
Well, there's a Katie Morgan on here, if you've ever heard of that.
I don't think so.
Brie Olson.
Yeah.
Big time.
I think Brie Olson dated Charlie Sheen at one point.
That sounds about right.
And then there's a Japanese actress on here who started off Asia Akira.
Not Asia Akira, but I do like appreciate the enthusiasm.
Somebody named Maria Takagi.
I don't think I know Maria Takagi.
I mean, we're not even talking about the Japanese porn world where I'm sure like there's much
bigger stars or like the Bundesliga German porn.
I don't know.
Yeah.
This is it's a very American centric list.
It really is.
Which is why I found yet another list for you, which might be more up your alley.
Nice.
I figured that one was a little too historical leaning.
So I also found on a porn site, mind you, the list of the hottest American porn stars
of 2020.
There's 23 names on here.
I see.
The list of 23 porn stars that are hot right now.
That's cool.
Not talking about the fucking Michael Jordan's.
We're talking about the Yanis, the Lukas, the Kevin Durantz.
That's good.
Hot now.
And I want to see how many you can rattle off on this list.
But first let's take a break and we'll come back.
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20.
Top 20 hottest porn stars right now and of course they couldn't limit the list to 20.
There's 23 names on here.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's see how many you can rattle off.
I feel like Riley Reid is going to be towards the top of the list.
It's going to be a Riley Reid.
It's going to be an Abela Danger.
Whoa, whoa, slow down, buddy.
Okay.
Let's relax.
Okay.
See what a sip on this cocktail.
Not take shots.
Is Riley Reid on there?
Riley Reid is number eight.
Number eight job.
Isabella Danger right on there.
I'll be sipping this hot toddy as fast as I want.
Abela.
I thought you said Isabella Danger.
No, I couldn't find an Isabella, but you better believe Abela Danger is third on this
list.
Third on the list.
So two top 10s.
Yeah.
I mean, Mia Malcova has to be on there.
I'm just wondering how high up she is.
Could she be?
Our co-star Mia Malcova star Lonely and Horny season two is indeed on this list.
Good job, Mia.
She should be number, I feel like number two, but how did we get Mia Malcova to appear
in a Lonely and Horny episode?
Do you remember that?
I think Jillian Jeskin, Alex Kerna, the producers just straight up went out to porn star agents.
I think that like they asked me for a list.
I said not unlike right now.
I said my favorite porn star at the time, Mia Malcova.
And next thing we knew, she was, we were shooting with her and it was crazy.
I was not, I was, I was not nervous about any day on Lonely and Horny except for that
one.
And I felt like it showed.
And I think she thought I was a bad director, which really hurt me.
Well we should say that we shot a porn with her.
That was the episode.
Right.
We stayed sort of 21 minutes of unsimulated penetrating and I thought you did pretty well.
It was, my character was watching a VR porn and so we needed a girl to just sort of stare
into camera and, you know, talk these guys off.
And she, she absolutely killed it because it was right in her wheelhouse.
It's right.
She's done this stuff before.
Right.
Right.
She's done.
I did one of those like, it was a, we pretended to be shooting a VR porn.
So like we were, we were cutting back and forth from like the VR porn that was going
on in your goggles and like you sitting in your house.
It was great.
It was very funny scene.
Yeah.
And why do you think she thought you were a bad director?
I guess cause I was just always unsure.
Everything I said, I was like, I was just stuttering and fumbling.
Like I knew what I wanted to get, but I was constantly shy.
So I didn't, I wasn't very direct.
Do you think you're, you'd be able to direct a porn if necessary?
If like, if me, I was like, that guy was really good.
Can he direct my next video?
Right.
Or would that be too much pressure?
It would be too much pressure because I wouldn't know how to do it.
I think I would be with comedy.
I would, I know to be like, let's try it this way.
Let's get it this way.
Let's see this angle.
Let's get this coverage.
And for porn, I feel like I would just constantly be like, I don't want to step, you guys are
having sex.
I don't want to intrude.
I would be too passive.
Right.
Yeah.
Do whatever you guys want.
Honestly, you guys are the stars.
Yeah.
I'll shoot this voyeur style and just leave the camera here.
Anyways, Brandy Love on that list is Eva Lovia on that list is Kenzie Reeves on that list.
You gotta slow down.
Yeah.
I need to fucking search who, what's the, what's the order of things?
Brandy Love.
No.
Okay.
Well, she should.
Brandy Love is not here.
She should be.
And Eva Lovia, my favorite.
How do you spell Eva?
Just E-V-A.
Yeah.
Nope.
She's down here.
That's fucking, has to be incorrect.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
Let's go Mia Khalifa, who doesn't do porn anymore, but is still famous.
Yeah.
I guess she's not active enough to make the list, unfortunately.
We're looking for active porn stars.
You haven't gotten number one or number two, I should say.
Yeah.
This is, it's, it's really, it's tough because they're not.
I guess it's very segmented, like everyone's got their personal favorites and stuff to
say which ones are.
Yeah.
I like the, I like the more niche amateurs style.
But let's go ahead and say Nicole, Nicole Aniston.
Number five is Nicole Aniston.
Good job.
Number five, stayin' alive.
Let's think is a, is a Lana Rhodes up there.
You just got number one.
There we go.
You sunk my battles.
There we go.
Lana Rhodes.
Is that a porn star?
Does that shock you or does that sort of make sense for you?
It makes sense.
I feel like I was really trying to think of just porn stars that I like, but then I started
trying to think of porn stars that I just see in all of the banner ads.
Right.
So that's.
That's a good list.
That tracks.
Lana Rhodes, by the way, 16 million Instagram followers.
Wow.
Yeah.
Like, there's no way she's not worth more money than Jenna Jameson because she also
has, like, I think probably one of the most popular only fan accounts.
Like.
Yeah.
I'm sure that list predates only fans, which completely changed the game.
Yeah.
It really, it let, it let people earn some, the money that they deserved.
I love, I love only fans for that.
It took out the middle man.
Got any other names for us before I rattle some off for you?
Emily Willis.
Number 21, Emily Willis.
Good job.
Sneaky in.
Did I, I said a Bella danger.
I didn't say Carly Gray.
Doesn't look like Carly Gray is on here.
Okay.
Okay.
There's, God, there's somebody else that I was trying to think of that was really good
looking.
That's fine.
I don't, I don't need to rack my brain for this.
Give me the other ones or give me a couple.
Okay.
Number two is Monique Alexander.
Three you got Isabella danger.
Number four is Danny Daniels.
Danny Daniels.
I don't even know if I know Danny Daniels.
Five you got Nicole Aniston.
Six is Kimmy Granger.
Kimmy Granger.
Very nice.
Seven is somebody named Desiree Dulce.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Good name.
Eight you got Riley Reed.
Nine is a Gabby Carter.
Oh yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
That stands to reason.
Yeah.
Megan Rain.
Great name.
Yep.
And rounding out the list of the top 12, you got me and Mel Cove, but you missed Kenzie
Taylor.
Oh, I said Kenzie Reeves.
Yeah.
I see.
You forgot she got married and changed her name.
Tim the tool man Taylor.
You said her maiden name, unfortunately.
How do these names work?
Like they're all fake, right?
They all get to choose.
Yeah.
I think that they just, yeah, everybody just chooses.
There's like, but I don't know.
It seems like there's not a lot of thought that goes into it because you would definitely
try to be like, you know, getting that SEO, search engine optimization.
Right.
Like with a Nicole Aniston, sometimes they just shove two popular names together and
they call it a day.
Yeah.
Nicole Aniston.
And sometimes they, like there's an Aaliyah Hadid on this list.
Oh yeah.
I know.
Aaliyah Hadid.
So they just, you know, took other famous people and now it's like, I accidentally
searched for me.
Right.
That's interesting.
Then, then there's these, um, the alliteration, the me and Mel Cove, the Jenna Jameson.
Yeah.
That style.
I like the alliteration.
The Riley Reed.
Chloe, Chloe Cherry is on this list.
Oh.
Good shit.
Rachelle Ryan is on this list.
Like Rachelle Ryan and Chloe Cherry both seem like they're not super good SEO names, but
maybe they are.
Maybe there is more thought.
I have no idea.
And then there's some that are just like barely even names.
Like there's somebody on this list named Karma Rx.
Have you heard of Karma Rx?
I have, but I think like that seems, I guess that seems a little weird because Rx is like
a prescription thing.
Um, yeah.
But there is something too, just like, not like, um, the name being like Firebird 491.
It's like, that's cool.
You could search that.
Yeah.
You like, you'll only find me if you search that and it's easy to remember.
I mean, it was not unlike creating the name for Head Gum.
We had to create a name that like was available on every social media that was easy to say
and easy to spell, but didn't exist yet.
Yeah.
I actually don't mind Head Gum for your poor name.
It's not bad.
Henry Head Gum.
Henry Head Gum.
Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah.
And can I add an Rx to the end of it?
I was just trying to think of bad porn names and I thought of one that might be on the
list.
Uh, is Cassidy Banks on there?
Cassidy Banks?
I'm pretty sure that's the answer.
Uh, no.
There's no Cassidy on here.
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
The few that we haven't named yet are Nicolette Shea.
Hmm.
I don't even know if I know her.
Thank God.
Alina Lopez?
I know her.
Katrina Jade, sister of Ruby Jade.
Oh, I don't think I know her.
It's, I'm happy now when I don't, like, it's, when I, when I know people, it's like, that's
just me really losing the quiz because I like, I knew them as porn stars and I didn't guess
it.
So that's, that's bad, but it's nice when I don't know because it's like, oh wow, I
only know 22 of the top 23 porn stars.
Elsa Jean.
Oh, I love Elsa Jean.
It's by the way, like, do you know any of these people?
I have heard of Mia Malkova.
Oh my God.
You haven't heard of anybody else on this list.
I really haven't.
I want to know if our fans are closer to me or closer to you.
Like I'm sure there's all over the, there are people who are like, oh, Jake only got
21 and there's people who are like, holy shit, Jake got 21 because there's porn start, porn
watching is so different and intimate.
You never like watch with a friend.
So you have no idea.
Like I'm not watching porn with anybody else.
So I can't, with basketball, you discuss and dissect and analyze porn.
It's just very privatized.
You don't watch porn with Marty?
I watch porn with Marty, but like we're not at a sports car sort of high-fiving people.
Yeah, totally.
You don't watch, you don't watch porn at boys over at the bar down the street from you guys.
Well, occasionally watch at the bar, we're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
We're not high-fiving.
Because she was famous before porn, she didn't come up with a porn name.
So you just dislike her regular name, I think.
You know what?
Then I switched back because I'm really impressed because I was going to say, why doesn't anybody
use their regular name?
It's nice that this person, Maitland, did that.
Yeah.
Really owned it.
Who is she on Boy Meets World?
Like Eric and Sean's roommate?
No, wait.
Sean, not Eric and whoever Sean's brother was.
Oh, yeah.
The taller, cool guy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Joey.
No.
God, which Lawrence brother was it?
This is another fun quiz.
Matthew?
Yeah, Matthew Lawrence.
Wow.
It's kind of cool that she...
He has an OnlyFans, actually.
To back into porn like that.
That's a rare path, isn't it?
Yeah.
I respect it.
I respect everybody.
Shout out to Maitland.
Shout out to Maitland.
And you know what?
I think we can say, we all respect everybody in porn from Maitland Ward down to the Fluffers.
That's right.
How are you feeling about how you did on this quiz?
I feel sad.
I feel embarrassed.
I feel...
But you're not supposed to...
We're supposed to like, you know, project that porn isn't shameful and embarrassing.
That's right.
It's just another thing.
Yeah.
No.
This is healthy and good.
Yeah.
And I'm actually...
I'm actually...
A beacon.
I am...
It's probably an icon for what I've done here.
Thank you.
For lending your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and memory towards this porn quiz, episode
three of Testing.
Testing will be back next week.
Who knows what you'll be testing me on?
Oh, yeah.
You can just test my memory and give me the same quiz and I'll see how many I can...
Oh, that's actually...
Sort of for a memory.
That's perfect.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm for sure gonna get Maitland.
Yeah.
Because then we get to talk about porn again and you can excel.
It's perfect.
Yeah.
All right.
See you next week, everybody.
Or Monday, I should say.
See you Monday, everybody.
Ciao.
That was a hit gum original.