IHIP News - Jesse Watters TOP 8 MOST GAY Moments on Fox News

Episode Date: January 26, 2025

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Okay, in Trump's America, it's going to be very important that we all take time to come together to laugh and remember that life is worth living. And so join us on this journey to laugh at Jesse Waters bending himself into a pretzel and clip after clip trying to prove that he is a heterosexual man. Kylie, play the first clip. New York Post caught her grocery shopping with Doug E. Fresh. What kind of husband goes grocery shopping with his wife? This sends me into orbit. I cannot tell you how enraged this made me. Several things. Number one, grocery stores are not defined by sex. You do not have to be a female to go into a grocery store. Number two, a lot of men go to the grocery store for their wives. It's called being married or with a partner. You do other things. Gender roles are not so defined that only women go to the grocery store. That is being reinforced with

those husbands and that those women are sitting there watching it and they are being told we're less than, and it enrages me. I think that he is the scum of the earth. I don't have that same reaction. To me, this is hyperbole. This is Fox News cosplay. I'm trying to be straight. To me, this is political theater. This like this is right wing entertainment. I view this as satire. I think that Jesse Waters, my response to him would be because everybody knows husbands drop by grocery stores, even in ultra conservative families. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows that, except for Jesse Waters. My response to Jesse Waters would be, what kind of man dyes his hair and his eyebrows? Right. I don't care about their hair and eyebrows,

but he sure does it. Let's go ahead now and play the next clip. I don't like don't ask, don't tell. I need to know if someone is gay. I have to know. And they should tell. I ask to know. And they should tell. Ask and tell. So this to me is basically sums up the first clip. He is desperately in a very Freudian way,

trying to compensate for something that's going on in the brain. Because I play pickleball and tennis all the time, I don't need to know if the women I'm playing with are gay. I don't need to know that because I don't care, because I don't think about if somebody's gay or not, because it has zero impact on me. If I play pickleball with a bunch of lesbians, if I hit tennis with a bunch of lesbians, it is zero impact. Actually, the only impact it has is they're probably going to kick my ass. So that was interesting. Let's go

on to the next clip. I am now going to book the Fulton County photographer for my Christmas card because judge, and I say this with a unblemished record of heterosexuality. He looks good and he looks hard. Because when I think about men and heterosexuality, when a man's describing another man and he says he looks good and hard, I immediately know that that man is gay. I have a lot of gay friends. I am an interior designer when I'm not a podcaster. And when I have heard men refer to other men as good and hard, they're some of my best gay pals.

Here's the thing, Jesse Waters. Why are you thinking about it all the time? And have you ever, this is a question. Have you ever had to announce to anyone that you have an unblemished record of heterosexuality ever once? I've never had to do that. I've never felt the need to constantly say, I'm heterosexual, I'm a female, this is girly, this seems feminine because I don't give a shit. I never, ever, ever, ever think about it, nor do I say it.

No, me neither. And I don't ever, it never occurs to me that it matters one way or the other who somebody is sleeping with. And all of this talk, when you're constantly trying to prove, it's kind of like, who are you trying to convince, Jesse? Who are you trying to convince? I'm telling you who are you trying to convince jesse who are you trying to do jesse's trying to ask or y'all yourself he's trying to convince jesse that's who he's trying to convince because jesse knows when rubber hits the road when he's watching porn and when he's having sex with his wife he knows what the money shot is in his brain. And therefore he is trying to create a counter

case to what only he is privy to publicly, because that's how deep I believe that he is into this thing. All right, Kylie, play the next clip. Love masculinity and women do not love Tim Walls. So that should just tell you about how masculine Tim Walls is. The other day you saw him with a vanilla ice cream shake, had a straw in it. Oh, again, that tells you everything. I have never heard a straight man in my life talk so much about what other men are doing. I have gay men in my life that talk about it that are like, yeah, I like going to the grocery store. You can kind of cruise the aisles. Like I have a gay friend that lives in West Hollywood and he was always like, oh my

God, the grocery stores in West Hollywood are great. It's great. Like gay pickup stuff. Uh, thinking about sucking on straws, all of this stuff, like who thinks about this other than Jesse Waters? No, and I've never, when he says, well, women think, blah, blah, blah. How in the world do you know Jesse Waters?

Who is your pool, Judge Jeanine? I mean, like, come on. He doesn't know anything about what women think because he's worried that women should be the only people at a grocery store. All right, next up. Ice cream. You know my rule about men eating soup in public.

I don't think it's manly to go like that with a soup and you're blowing on it. It's just not a good look. I think the same thing for ice cream. You should save that for vacation. A grown man, especially the president, should not be licking ice cream in public. Okay. So again, here's the fascination with watching people suck on things and lick things. Right. Literally men that I guess I I've never quite heard somebody. Now we're on like clip number five with this. He's consumed. I mean, he is consumed with what men are doing with their mouths.

This is, and this is like, he works for a major quotes, news network. And I just can't believe that somebody there isn't saying Jesse are you gay we're good with like we're cool like we're totally cool we won't tell anybody but all of your clips everything is really gay right why are you trying to prove to everyone so hard that you're not gay? What is it you're not sharing with people? Because anybody that's straight or gay that's open about it doesn't have to talk about it. All right. Straws, Jimmy. Soup is another problem area. Men shouldn't eat soup in public. Again, you're pursing your lips in anticipation you lean your head out trying not

to spill it come on it's like a balancing act soup isn't even filling sometimes you have to blow on it if it's too hot it's too hot it's not you can have soup in private or you can have a stew a nice hearty stew and then there's this french onion soup situation have you guys seen this guys are out there dipping the spoon and you have cheese like this like above your and guys are going in like this trying to but and then twirling it in oh my gosh that's the gayest thing i've ever seen in my life oh Oh my gosh. I mean, that is unbelievable that his head goes there and he even does the description thing and it can be a hearty stew and, you know, pursing your lips. I mean, this is wild, but let me just remind everybody, he has a major, major audience. He is prime time, Jesse Waters, prime

time, which brings me back to my theory that I'm dying for a scientific team to just completely tackle. I believe that when rubber hits the road, MAGA men are bi-curious or are gay. And that when the money shot happens, they're not thinking about females or feminine things, that it is indeed the male that takes them over the top, which I have no problem with this. Who cares? Nobody cares. But Jesse Waters sure does spend an obscene amount of time talking about what men do with their mouth. Kylie. In his Thanksgiving trip to Nantucket, he polar plunged at a little Black Friday shopping with Hunter and he called one of our correspondents stupid. And we're willing to look past that

little outburst, but some things we just can't let slide. Joe Biden used a straw. Now, if you've seen me on The Five or on Primetime, you know I recommend that all men refrain from using straws. It's unbecoming. The way a man's lips purse, the size of the straw is just too dainty, the way your fingers clasp on it. No, come on. Okay, is Jesse Waters a size queen? That's my takeaway. He is a size queen. He has no problem with sucking. It's the scale of the item in which he is sucking that he deems problematic. Yeah.

He's into the girth. Definitely. And he, he obviously has a lip thing. He likes to purse his lips. And here he is. Yeah. Here he is. Here he is. Here he is with his dyed hair, unblemished.

What was the quote? Unblemished. Unblemished heterosexual record. Heterosexuality. Here he is. And it does look like this straw is a little wider than the standard straw. So maybe we hear it. I've had it.

Could send Jesse some large jumbo straws for him to purse his lips and suck on. Right. Or he could lick it down the side. You never know. All right. We'll see you guys later.