IHIP News - Trump's Staff Panicking As He Crumbles, Promises Pardons For Their Crimes

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

Trump has allegedly offered his entire staff presidential pardons. Laundry Sauce: Make laundry day the best day of the week! Get 20% off your entire order @LaundrySauce with code IHIP at https://laundrysauce.com/IHIP #laundrysaucepodOrder our new book, join our Substack, shop our merch, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

All right, the teen birth rate in the United States of America has declined. I think this is great news. Maga Christians think it is terrible news and went to Fox News to complain about it. Play the clip. I have 3.6 million births a year. But the problem is teens and young adults. From ages 15 to 19, the fertility rate is down 7% and it's down 70% over the last two decades. Okay.

And it gets worse from there. Five-star world-class cunt extraordinaire, Katie Miller, the wife of the most unfuckable Nazi on the planet, Stephen Miller, takes to Twitter and post the following. Since 2007, the teen birth rate has fallen 72%. Hormonal birth control isn't just poison for women's minds and bodies. it's killing population growth. For the first time ever, birth rates for women in their late 30s has surpassed those in their early 20s.

Our biological destiny is to have babies, not slave behind desk, chasing careers while our civilization dies. And to that, I have to say, Katie Miller, go fuck yourself. I cannot wait for the day that your husband is in prison. I agree. I thought that teen birth rates being down would be a cause for celebration because we all know it leads to poverty and all kinds of other issues. And to sit there and act like Katie Miller was not a child mother at like 17 or 18. She is a full career woman. She worked for Elon Mess. She worked for the White House. Now she has a podcast that's absolutely horrific. But the deal. is do not sit there and tell women they're required to have babies and not work when you are the biggest hypocrite on the planet and here's the deal i'm celebrating the birth rate for teen moms being down these people are fucking crazy they're nuts and the messaging that they're so brazen with this now

that teens need to get knocked up and let's just play the tape through these teens get knocked up. They're shamed in their churches. They're shamed in their families. They're forced into these birthing situations because nobody's ever taught them about consent, birth control, et cetera. And then once they have these babies, the Katie Millers and whoever that crusty old guy was on Fox, tough titties. They're not helping you out with anything. They're not helping you with jack shit. It is a slut shaming technique that Republicans like to use. That's why they have psychologically piled on to this abortion thing because the entire evangelical Maga Christian movement specializes in one feature, sexual shaming. They like to shame people for having sex or thinking about sex.

And if you hear this from a very young age your whole life, then you morph into hating the object of your desire, whether that be women or gay people or trans people, you see this hate. hatred among MAGA people towards the object of their desire. For men that are heterosexual, they hate women because the women are the objects of their desire. So they want to engage in punitive laws that get them knocked up and label them. This is a whore that has had sex and therefore she is exposed to the world that she had sex before marriage, this teen mom. And so then when you go into all of these anti-gay Republican men, I don't think it's any surprise if you start deep diving into their Google search histories. We all know they probably fetishize gay porn or

grinder, et cetera. And so that's what's at play here. And that's why behind this bag maga movement, there's all of this weird sexual repression. And I'm just going to say this. This is just a personal note. I just think there's so much inherent sexism in the virgin birth story that if Mary had had sex, that somehow she would be sullied and unworthy of giving birth to a good person. And so when you look at, when you look at that and see how that is trickled down it in the Bible Belt states, all they talk about is no premarital sex. And they shame sex so much. And this is the end result. You have all of these broken people that now want teenagers to have babies. But moving along, the racism in the MAG of movement is really disturbing. It's always been disturbing, but they're just getting more brazen.

And this guy, I don't know how he got elected for anything. Not only is he an abject racist, he's dumb. Play the clip. The idea that we would bring in a 7-Eleven worker from India or anywhere across the globe into our country to work at a gas station because we can't find Americans to work behind the counter at a gas station. I mean, that's assonine. I mean, it's idiotic. And we all know it. Okay. Kylie, put up the photo of this Congressman Brandon Gill with his wife and in-laws. Okay. So for those of you that are listening, his in-laws are of Indian descent, his wives of Indian descent. And he just went on a rant that we can't have people from India working at 7-11. I mean, this is just, just gutter racism for sport. They just do this shit for sport. And what a message

are you sending to like, I don't know if they have kids. I'm sure they probably do because Mag is all about breeding as the previous article was. But here is Zay-Jalani responding to this post. He says, truly bizarre statement from a man married to an Indian woman with Indian in-laws. Publicly, he preaches white nationalism. But in the bedroom, he's a third worldist, the racist version of the closeted gay pastor. Chef's kiss. That's perfect. Pumps.

Is the dividing line money is, I mean, that's what I'm seeing over and over again. If you're poor and brown, we don't want you in the country. But I, because I'm special and I'm chosen, I can marry an Indian woman and be a complete fucking racist, but her family has money. Or is it just, I'm a racist, I'm a hypocrite, I can do whatever the fuck I want, and I don't care about anybody but myself and power. I'm not being able to wrap my hat around somebody. You know, fight against their own family. Yet, J.D. Vance does this too. I mean, I think sometimes, I think that's why the post from Jolani is so spot on that it is, they're white nationalists, but his, you know, he likes dark-skinned

women. But it is core, he's a white nationalist. But money does not preclude people from racist attacks. I mean, I think LeBron James had somebody spray paint the N-word on his house. We all remember fame, talent, all of those things. Remember Laura Ingraham telling him to shut up and dribble. So it's the same thing as that viral rant I had pumps. These people, these white nationalists, they enjoy multiculturalism. Brandon Gill wants to be married to an Indian. Good for him?

I don't give a shit. But it is core. He's also a white nationalist. So, you know, these people like to go to Mexican restaurants. They like to watch basketball. They want to watch football. They want to listen to music that black people sing in or bad bunny or whatever. But then at their core, they also want this white nationalism because they're so profoundly

insecure. What do you think? Yeah, I think that's probably right because they feel so entitled. I am white, so I get to do whatever the fuck I want. And nobody's going to tell me anything because I'm white. and it really is so disturbing. The psychology of the women married to these men, that's what the interesting part is. Totally.

These are the, I mean, racist or racist or racist. But the women that she sits there and poses with her family with the white nationalist, that's what I'm fascinated by. You know, this reminds me of an anecdotal story. So you know this person I'm talking about, I'll tell you off camera. Sorry, listener, but he's an attorney. and his daughter, racist, clear racist inward the whole nine in Oklahoma City. His daughter has a mixed race baby and he loves this little grandbaby.

And after this baby was born, he called it his little inward baby. And so it's incredible how white people can hold both of those things at the same time. Being complete racist, yet loving parts of black culture. And Brandon Gill's case, he's, you know, Indian culture, which is wild that he goes on there and specifically calls out Indians working at 7-11. It's so fucking crazy. Okay. Moving along, here is Trump over the weekend pumps on gas prices with friendly audience. Maria Bartolomo.

Play the clip. We agree. So do you believe the price of oil and gas will be lower before the midterm elections? I hope so. I mean, I think so. It could be. It could be or the same or maybe a little bit higher, but it should be around the same.

I think this won't be that much longer. They're wiped out. They're wiped out. And you don't get a fair shake. You don't get, you know, we need a free and fair person. Enough, enough, enough. He also in this clip spoke about the war in Iran that, you know, Benjamin Netanyahu told me, we're the big brother,

and Israel's the little brother. And so just the flagrant nature of advertising, like I've told you guys, he is in his bedside confession era. And the fact that he's flagrantly saying what Benjamin Netanyahu told him privately is really, really a fascinating thing for me. Trump doesn't give a shit about gas prices. He doesn't have to fill up a tank. We fill up his tank. The American taxpayer pays for it. But these little dribblings of what these much smarter, much more,

organized fascist dictators like Benjamin Netanyahu say to him are really, really fascinating to me. You're the big brother. We're the little brother. What do you think about that, Pumps? Well, I think it shows what a cheap day trumpet. Like going to war and killing people and all you have to say is you're the big brother and I'm the little brother. Like, give me a fucking break. Give me a real compliment if I'm going to go to war for you. Yeah, I completely agree. Okay. And this broke, all this shit always breaks on Friday. And so on Friday, it broke that Trump is promising pardons to his staff. Pop this up. Oh, my God.

Okay. President Trump has repeatedly promised top administration officials pardons before he leaves office according to people who have heard his comments. So, you know, after World War II, the Nuremberg trials, they had to come up with laws to try these people for the crimes. And I think if we are to ever have a Democratic Party that doesn't have members of it that are fascist collaborators, truly, truly believe that democracy is for the people, completely of the people, by the people, for the people, they would get power in these midterms. And they would create a law that says, if you are committing a crime

under the premise that the president promised to pardon you, that pardon is Nolan Boyd. They need to get fucking serious about this. This whole pardon thing is so ridiculous. It is absolutely ridiculous. I think that we need such a revamping of the United States government, of the Supreme Court, of the United States Senate. Why the fuck does California have two senators and South Dakota has two senators? That's insane. It's utter insanity.

comps. Well, I just see this as you and I were talking about it on Friday. Of course, we're not surprised. But what is interesting to me about the whole thing is every single person in Trump's orbit is expected to commit crimes. I mean, it's just this is what we do. When you come to work for me, I swatched you on the ass and you commit a crime for me. And I, for one, just believe this petty little man will not deliver on these pardons. Oh, I agree. I think they're little. dangled. I think it's a dangled thing at all times. And it should be a presidential ending story. This should end his presidency. So many things should end his presidency, but they don't. The media, you know, this just gets buried in a Friday news dump by the Wall Street

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It's time to make laundry day the best day of the week. You know, people often ask me, and I'm sure they do you pumps because we work in political commentating, who do you see as the frontrunner in 28? And I don't have a frontrunner. I have not seen somebody who is a frontrunner. And I'm approaching the 2028 primaries with a complete open mind. We didn't get to have one last time. So a complete open mind. Whoever throws their hat in, put them on the stage, let them go on podcasts. Let's see who sinks and who swims. And somebody who I continue to see swimming right now is the center. from Georgia, John Ossoff.

And from time to time, he comes out and reminds us what politicians are supposed to sound like. Play the clip. Now, I don't know if you saw, but the president apparently promised pardons for the entire White House staff. Did you all see that? Which I guess is the kind of thing you do

when you run the White House like a casino. Now, maybe the West Wing's too busy placing Kalshi and Polymarket bets on the war to care. care, but Americans are getting hurt, hurt by the illegal tariffs that send prices higher and higher. So I think that's really excellent messaging, and he's definitely on my watch list for 28. I think that there are going to be people that come out that don't have as much reputational damage from the news cycles. And I really, so far, I like him when he comes out and speaks. I think he speaks to people where they are.

And I think calling out corruption is going to be a huge winning item. We saw in Hungary last night the person that won is a conservative. He's a center-right guy, but he ran against corruption. And the Democrats are going to have to start speaking out more overtly on corruption all the time. And some do. Some definitely do. some are a little patty cake-ish with the fascists for my taste pumps. Well, I think there's a chakoterie board of issues what you can go for in this election

because you've got corruption. You've got war crimes. You've got domestic crimes. You've got ice overstepping. Like, to me, the fact that there is not a unified democratic message all day, every day against this regime is just a complete flat-ass disappointment. because you have everything is on the table and we just don't have it. Yeah, it just always seems like it's a super disjointed response at all times. And I think for me, you know, I was heading into Trump

2.0. I'm like rah-rah sis, boom-ball, let's go dims. I started to become disenchanted with the Democratic Party when I saw their response to Trump 2.0. When I saw the acquiescence, when I saw people voting for little Marco 99 and no. When I saw that, that not one person stood up and go, look, I served with Marco in the Senate, but if he's willing to go work for an insurrectionist, I'm out. I'm completely out. That's not the guy I know. That's where I started becoming disenchanted. Then you find out Chuck Schumer and Hackeem Jeffries take money from Palantir and they take money from APEC. And then you realize these are the biggest donors to MAGA. Then you're just like, God damn, I fuck these guys. You know, so I'm hopeful that that there is a progressive caucus

out there that is really, really gaining some steam going on all sorts of shows. And so I hope that that continues to build momentum. All right, that's all we have, like and subscribe.