IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson - One Year of IMO with Michelle and Craig

Episode Date: March 13, 2026

On today’s episode, Michelle and Craig celebrate the one year anniversary of IMO! From navigating relationships and dating with Taraji P Henson, to laugh-out-loud sibling dynamics with the Wayans, and one of the most controversial opinions to ever be shared on the show. The first year of IMO has brought us some truly unforgettable moments.Have a question you want answered? Write to us at imopod.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode is brought to you by Shift. Hey, everyone, our podcast, IMO, has officially reached its first anniversary. And this past year has been filled with so much fun and so many special moments from heart to hearts with Taraji P. Henson to the complexities of parent-child relationships with Bruce Springsteen, hilarious sibling stories with Damon and Marlon Wayans, and even a controversial opinion. on ketchup from my husband. The first year of IMO has brought us some truly unforgettable moments. And while these conversations have given us the opportunity to connect with some of our favorite people and share our perspectives with each of you, what I love most about this show is I get to do it with my big brother, Craig. Oh, you're sweet, Mich.

I am. This year has been life-changing. And there's no one I would want to have these conversations with than you. To our IMO listeners, thank you for joining us on this journey. I can't wait for what year two of IMO will bring. And make sure you follow IMO wherever you get your podcast so you can get new episodes as soon as they drop every Wednesday. We can't wait for you to tune in. And don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for the latest updates at IMOPod.com.

We hope you enjoy this special bonus episode made up of some of our favorite moments from the first year of IMO. You know, it's funny is we didn't, I didn't go get my brothers when I got my sons. I would get my sisters. Yeah. My sister was vicious. Devon. Yeah.

Devon, one time this kid, Baldi Joe was beating me up and he was like a 16-year-old kid. And my sister had cornroll. She was about 250 pounds. She said, come here. And she grabbed him by his arms like this. And she said, Malin, punch him in the face. I was like, Devonty going to beat me. She said, if you don't punch him, I'm going to punch you.

I was like, bow. And, you know, my sisters always always had my back in that way. I didn't get my brother because I saw Keenan get beat up. Like, bad. Like, so Keenan used to walk around in Kung Fu slippers. Like, he watched, he was just a turtly, Jim Killing days. And he loved, he had Noon Chucks. He would have, like, and he was really good.

He would kick the ceiling. And then one day he got into a fight with this dude, Bobby Boyd, in the, in the building, in the lobby of the building. And Keenan, you know, everybody's like, oh, snap. Yeah, yeah. And he was going to do the karate. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then Keenan went to take off his shirt.

Oh, man. And the dude snatched him. No. Like with his shirt up his head and just pummeled him. And, like, Keenan was on the floor. Oh, no. And there was like, blood sleep, see, in his shirt. And I'm like, get up.

King. You just, no. Just. Get up. You got. You can do it. Untangle your arms from your shirt. Oh, no.

This guy you looked up. Don't make you, then. If you do, make sure you take a shirt on. Really. It's like, oh, man, that Bruce Lee didn't more about that. Don't lock yourself up in your shirt. You know? Oh, man.

Bruce Lee didn't wear pullovers. Yeah. Yeah. Just a mark. You know, when I hear you talk about the practice, what I'll call. call the practice of no, because you're absolutely right. And I know that everyone struggles with disappointing people, with trying to set boundaries. But I particularly relate to, you know,

what you're saying about, it takes you a while before you, you know, maybe as a woman, as a black woman, where we feel comfortable saying, no, I was sitting here thinking, well, why is that? And why was that for me? Because this is something that I am working on. right now. You know, I, I, like you, I have believed in therapy my whole life, you know, done couples therapy with my husband, both my girls are, they believe in therapy, this generation. Thankfully, I think our children are way more open to it. They understand the importance of self-help and all of that. I also sort of realize that, you know, even Michelle Obama, I am still trying to tell myself that I am doing enough, right?

Because there's always that feeling. I think we practice that striving because in order to be successful, I always felt like I had to be smarter, faster, work harder because somebody was going to doubt me. somebody was already telling me why I couldn't do something before they knew me or I even tried. And I don't think this is unique to just women of color. I don't think it's just unique to men. But when you get in that habit of that constant striving and constant proving that, you know, it's enough. It makes us overachievers, but you don't ever turn that off. And at 60, I was still, I had to convince myself. that I had done enough. After all that I had done in the world, I still felt a guilt, right?

Struggling with like deep guilt that maybe, maybe I needed to do a little bit more. So I'm at this stage in life where I have to define my life on my terms for the first time. So what are those terms? And going to therapy, just to work all that out. Like, what happened? that eight years that we were in the White House, what did that do to me? Yes. Internally, my soul, we made it through. We got out alive.

I hope we made the country proud. My girls, thank God, are whole. But what happened to me? Right. Right. Right. And going through therapy, you know, is getting me to look at the fact that maybe,

maybe finally I'm good enough, right? And unlearning some of those. messages that I've been saying to myself, and then trying to actively practice something different to rewire those neurons in my head that make me keep pushing and keep striving. And so practicing no in a very different way intentionally. But then this is what makes it hard because my decision to skip the inauguration, you know, what people don't realize, or my decision to make choice. at the beginning of this year that suited me were met with such ridicule and criticism.

Like, people couldn't believe that I was saying no for any other reason that they had to assume that my marriage was falling apart. You know, it's like, while I'm here really trying to own my life and intentionally practice making the choice that was right for me. And it took everything in my power to not do the thing that was right. or that was perceived as right, but do the thing that was right for me. That was a hard thing for me to do. I had to basically trick myself out of it, and it started with not having anything to wear.

I mean, I had affirmatively, because I'm always prepared for any funeral, anything. I walk around with the right dress. I travel with clothes just in case something pops off. So I was like, if I'm not going to do this thing, I got to tell my team, I don't even want to have a dress ready. Yeah. Right? Because it's so easy to just say, let me do the right thing.

But then you become a shock absorber. Yeah. And that's what women are. Yeah. And shock absorbers. Yeah. And that's exhausting. And it is not healthy.

Yeah. It is not healthy. You've had to be shock absorbers for your husband, for your children, for your mom, for your family, your loved ones because of where you were sitting. in the public eye. That's not fair to you. When do you ever get to live for you? I applaud you. I'm happy that you are taking care of yourself in the way that you need to. Thanks to our friends at Shipped for sponsoring this episode. With Shipp's same-day delivery, I never worry about how I'm going to get my shopping done for a few reasons. With Shipped, you can order same-day delivery on everything you need.

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So if you're in the mood for something truly craveable and nutritious, try any of Aloha's protein bars. Grab one at your local grocery store or head to aloha.com. In my opinion, and this is controversial in my family, you should not eat ketchup after the age of eight. Is that all condiments or just ketchup? No, no. I think you've gone down and age on that one.

You know, I think every time you say it, you make it younger and younger. And pretty soon it'll be like a four-year-old. And I'm hoping we don't have a ketchup sponsor on this show. That, well, we won't now. I have nothing. And we here at IMO have nothing against ketchup. I have nothing against kids having ketchup, ketchup on their burgers, ketchup for their fries.

even, which is hard for me to watch, ketchup on hot dogs. But at a certain point, you know, you got to kind of grow it. Why are you cutting the people off of ketchup? So young, dude, that's the, that's what we take issue with in our household. I might be a little too draconian. I think that's the word draconian.

I think, my gosh. I'm trying to describe a general point of view, which is ketchup is, ketchup has its place. But it sounds like you're saying ketchup is childish. What I'm saying is is that when I see a grown person pouring a lot of ketchup on something.

Is it the amount of ketchup? Is it just ketchup at all? Is it a lot of ketchup? Or is it a doll up of ketchup? I told you this was controversial in my family. I see. But I figured I'm coming in here hot. And now you know that in addition to like clicking my teeth along this straw to get on your nerves.

I just have a dollop of ketchup. Ketchup, right? At every meal just to be like. That explains a lot because there's always ketchup at your house. Yes. So it's not like we're battling against the man. It's not forbidden. We are trying to live our lives with ketchup.

Freedom for ketchup. He's the only one. Everybody else is fine with ketchup. In fact, the girls have all these complicated, oh, you mix it to this. Oh, yeah. It hasn't rubbed off. He's had no impact. We have that in our house, too.

There's no, no one's following his lead. Okay, okay. That was, that's a tough one. It's hard. It's, it's harsh. It is. It's hard. It might have been overly harsh.

I mean, I know. But every time he says it, the age goes down. Your mother is all like ketchup. I used to. Everybody likes ketchup. Yeah. It's like, the cup. It's like, now you got it down to eight.

We've got it down to eight. I'm just thinking that the first. The poor children, like, that's all. They don't even want. The ketchup is the actual, it's the medium to get, it's the delivery system. Now you're just, you know, just taking it. But we appreciate your opinion. There you go.

I want to get back to, because one thing I didn't ask about child, you were, you were emancipated at 13. Yeah, I've read that. Yeah. Have you read that about yourself? Tell us more about, yeah. It's not often that. And at 13.

And what led to that? Did you just walk out the door? Did you just say, hey, okay, thank you, everyone. I'm going to take all my books, and I'm on my own. I don't know how to put this without sounding facetious, but if you came from a Bible reading, believing family, then you already knew I was going to do what Jesus did. Okay.

Bounce. Okay. Now go find the temple to turn over the table. Like, this is the life of a Christian revolutionary. I got to tell you way ahead of me, because even if I wanted to leave at 13, I wouldn't have had the nerve to do it, nor the wherewithal that I could do it.

It was a terrible idea. Okay, all right, here we go. I don't talk about it because I don't want any young person to hear that and think that it's possible that they could pull it off. Hearing that it's terrible is useful. But it wasn't. It wasn't terrible? No.

No, of course not. I'm the adventurer in this story. Are you kidding me? Okay. Hold me now, sir. I'm grown. I've got a mustache and a cigarette. I'm 12.

Welcome. Now is my eyes. I'm picturing a little cat. Did you have the stick in your goods and a little her chief? No. Did you walk out with a suitcase? No, I had a full suitcase and a Rottweiler puppy. Did you left with a dog?

Destined for failure. It's like, and of dependent. I'm taking a responsibility. Exactly. It's like, man, and I'll take this puppy. So where'd you go? Where was the first place you and your puppy, Rottweiler puppy, when you left your house?

Miami, Florida. You went to a whole other state. That was always the thing. How did you get to Miami? I went to a truck stop. Uh-huh. Oh, the best place. place to go. Wow. Because everybody's going out of here. And so then I checked license plates

because I was looking for a warm destination and I was hoping for L.A. or California. But Miami presented itself and the guy let me and the Rottweiler puppy get in the back part of the empty truck and it would stop every once in a while. Did you have any money? How did you feed the route? I was loaded. I must have had $1,200 and you could not have told me that I was not a young million. How did you get all this money? So the only thing I was allowed to do, I was allowed to cut grass in the summer and I was allowed to shovel snow in the winter.

So I probably had 60 clients on each end. Oh, that. You were an entrepreneur. I own the lawnmower and the shovels. Wow. And so me having money just gave me the ability to not have to wear the clothes that my parents wanted me to wear to school. I could wear that out, go change, get into something fly and presentable for school. And then, like, I was living multiple lives, but the money made it possible for me to have that freedom.

And I learned that pretty early on. What was your alter ego with your money when you went to school? Were you one way at home because you were dressing different? And then you took your lawnmower money and went to school and your whatever. Who were you? I had a relationship with the candy lady. So I was in sales already and I was buying at a wonderful price upselling and supplying schoolmates with candy and treats.

You were the kid that had the nileators. Plus, I had money. So I didn't have to, I was able to treat the women that I liked. Nice. Really nice. Nice. And I learned that supplying happiness to people. So you were money, Mike early.

Money Micah. Yeah. Is that where your character came from? Money Micah, you were practicing that at 13. It seems like it's all planned out. But, you know, God showed me early on that there was this pathway, and I wasn't really certain of how to make sure that I was on it or behaving correctly. So you get to Miami.

Yep. So we get to Miami. With your puppy. Yeah, yeah. This trip probably only took us. maybe three days at the most, maybe two. It was a really nice ride. But there, so I'm there.

And I just had never seen a place so big with so many different neighborhoods and a different culture and ethnicity every three blocks. And it was really a bit of a culture shock. But I found a place in Coconut Grove at a park, And that's where I made my residence. And it was across the street from a library.

And so I would, eight hours a day, I would be in a library reading. So you just camped out? Literally. Literally. Did you buy a tent with your money? No, ma'am. So you're just laying out on the grass with your puppy, a 13-year-old? No, no, no.

And going across the street to the library. They had a whole segment of population that this was kind of a, in the homeless world, this was kind of a gated community. Yeah, yeah. This park, buy it with a marina behind it, so you can't encroach it's in Coconut Grove. So, yeah, I was able to purchase a brand new mattress the first day I was going to have to sleep, so I never slept on the ground or anything. And remember, my clothes are all dressed clothes.

I only have slacks and white shirts and ties. Is anybody like, I'm just trying to picture this? I can't picture any of this. And I'm still like, are you telling them that? truth, are you joking? Because I'm like still trying to picture you. You went and bought a mattress. How did you get the mattress to the park? I mean, I brought it. They delivered. Oh, you went to a store and you had them deliver your mattress to the park? There's a homeless hierarchy in the place that I was at. So there was a guy who was in charge of whether or not you got to be there or not.

How did you convince him that you should be there? I didn't. I've lived, I have a presence. Yes, you do. And I'm one of the people that doesn't have ulterior motives. And most people I found do. But even at that age, I didn't have any. And as far as we're concerned, you're in our family. I feel that way. Carol, you really, I mean, just sitting here. and talking about that path. I mean, I don't think that, well, you must hear this all the time. But, you know, we had a happy, beautiful family, right? But your talent, your gifts, the structure of your show, how you showed up in it.

Like Craig said, your humanity before the show, your honesty throughout your career. I mean, that kind of stuff has been as impactful to my development as my parents, right? Because that's the role modeling. You know, you see a smart woman, because what is clear through this is that you've always been that woman, smart, courageous, bold, and you just brought that to your show. And that came into our life. And that came into our life. living rooms as part of an important experience of seeing what you could be. You're going to make me cry. Oh, thank you.

I'm so touched and moved. You mean the world to us. And thank you. You know what I want to do? I want to sing. It's so nice. to have us time together. I love it.

Just to have a laugh or sing a song. Seems we just get started. And before you know it comes the time we have to say so long. All these youngsters have no idea what we're doing. Thank you. Thank you. I've got chills. We played a summer tournament about two hours away. And as I think back, I wish we had considered staying in an Airbnb home instead of staying at a hotel.

We would have had an opportunity to eat together, watch film together, as well as control the curfew of a bunch of 13-year-old boys. I also think that it would have given our parents a break from their children. As you can imagine, coming together as a team outside of the game is as important as what you do on the court. And having the ability to hang out together at an Airbnb would have given us that extra opportunity to bond. And if you're thinking about the big tournaments that come into your town, now is a great time to think about hosting fellow fans and players during the season. I mean, as a kid, I was very concerned about, um, stability. And my mom was an amazing person, but she was not very parental. And my dad had died. And I very much wanted to know what was happening. And I used to read my mom's journal. I used to

monitor or phone calls when I was a kid. Like I wanted to know what was coming down the pike. And I started working when I was 12 to earn money because I was very concerned about like my mom's on shaky financial footing. And even though the world probably, I thought she was super rich, but she, you know, spent a lot of money and had no sense of money. And I knew this from a little kid. And I remember I was actually walking up the stairs one day. My mom was on the phone. And she said, she started somebody in the phone.

She said, well, I'll always be able to make money. And I stopped. And I was like, this ship is going down. If she thinks she's always going to be able to do this, like. And how were you when you heard that? I was like 12. So you knew. Yeah, I knew.

I knew early on. Are you the oldest? No, I was the young. My brother was two years older, but he wasn't as, like, focused on this as much as I was. I was really determined. And, yeah, I started, I mean, it was ridiculous. I started working as a child model at 12 to, like, to help. To help.

I mean, not that they, you know, I wasn't, I was saving the money because I was like, I'm going to need to, I'm building a life raft here. But, but she was remarkable. And, you know, I was always very sympathetic to my mom because she really didn't have parents of her own. She was kind of her dad died when she was an infant. She was raised in hotels in Europe by her mom who just wanted to party. She was the subject of a vicious custody battle when she was 10 years old. It was called the trial of the century in the Depression. And, you know, I kind of saw a sadness behind my mom's eyes for her whole life.

And I didn't understand what the sadness was from, but I was sympathetic to her. And so even if she wasn't the most kind of mom-mom, I viewed her as a, I mean, From the time I was little, I viewed her as like a space alien whose rocket ship had like, you know, failed and landed here on Earth by accident. And it was my job to like help her like rent an apartment and learn how to breathe oxygen. Yeah. That's that's a level of worry that most young people. Yeah, but look who's talking. I mean, you know, I listened to you and I think about him.

Really? And he's the oldest. I think you called it catastrophic. Yeah, it was a catastrophist. He was a catastrophist at that age in the same way that you were, you know, really thinking, okay, all the worst possible scenarios. And I think he felt like the one that had to know it all. Right.

He was going to be you. That's interesting. Like if things fell apart, if our dad ever could never function, then Craig was the one who was going to make sure. It's interesting. The title of this book, my mom and I wrote together, which ended up being basically our core. respondents over the course of the year was the rainbow comes and goes, which is from a Wordsworth poem.

And it was a poem my mom liked. And for her, it meant, well, the rainbow comes and goes. It's always going to come back. And so, like, bright days are just ahead. They're just around the corner. The phone can ring and your whole life can change. And for me, the title was like, yeah, the rainbow comes and it goes. And yeah, the phone can ring and your whole friggin life can change. Like, I saw it from a negative of land. And she saw it, she like could not, it was such an interesting kind of different way of things. You're just trying to be realistic. Just cover all the bases in case something happens. It's a fine line between realistic and pessimistic, I think. I think you two fell on the pessimistic side. Somewhere in the isistic family, but. I realize the parenting is pennies in the bank.

Yeah. It's that time when you were working and you didn't want to stop, but you did. That made a huge difference to me because if I'd have failed, I always felt if I'd have failed with my kids, I would have failed tremendously in life. I like what you said that parenting is pennies in the bank. And that just resonates because I think of, you know, I think of my upbringing. And I've talked about in a lot, you know, we were working class, poor working class family The father was a city worker. He did not make a lot of money.

He did not have a title. He was not famous. He wouldn't be on a regular schedule. We could go for a week and not see him because he was working a shift. But when he was present, he was present in very small but meaningful ways. It was wonderful. Something as simple, you know, I recall a special treat before dinner if he was there or after dinner was that we get him to play a game.

Yeah. Any kind of game, you know, a tickle game, a card game. And it just felt like such a treat that this big, important man who had all this responsibility, yeah. Got on the floor and played with us. Yeah. He delighted in our presence. Yeah, that's wonderful.

You know, and what I tell a lot of parents is that a lot of, of times we work for money and things because especially if you're poor, you think, well, if I could give my kids more, we could live in a bigger house, if I could put them in the best schools, if I could give them the nicest sneakers, right? Right. That that is going to replace it. But it's the pennies in the bank that matter. And everybody's got some pennies.

You know, kids don't need the stuff. They just want the pennies, you know? Very important. And I think a lot of men lose sight of the fact that a lot of what they're working towards is just their goals and ambition. You know, and I think men should have that. I think everyone, men, women, people have to have their own lives and their own ambitions, but have it and say that's for you. But your kids, they just want pennies. They want the pennies.

They really do. They do, yeah. You're never too poor to be a father. No, to give time and attention. You know, artists, the worst. The worst. So self-involved. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God, you know. You get so caught up in your own inner world, you know, because that's where you sought refuge. You know, when things weren't working out when you were younger, you sought refuge in this inner world. I think the point you're making is that, you know, it's easy to get lost in the grandeur of your life. Exactly, of yourself. Of yourself. I had to deal with a lot of the grandeur of myself.

Yeah. You know, because that's the thing everybody's taught to pursue, you know. It's like, that's that. That's the brass ring. And that's why parenting is a group sport. Big time. And I think Barack is just like you is a tremendous father, doing it in a lot of grandeur, right?

Yeah, you're the commander-in-chief of the United States of America. And so finding that balance of, you know, when you've got the nuclear code in your grasp and world leaders calling you and big, important, heavy decisions coming at you every day and valets and AIDS and on and on and security and, oh, it's just all grandeur. Trying to wipe all that stuff away and leave it at the door before you enter, before he would enter the residence of the White House to sit at a dinner table with his two daughters

and only talk about them. Right. It was important for both of us, for me and Barack, to carve out that time in those eight years when our girls were in their formative years, you know? Yeah. They've lived longer,

Malia and Sasha in the White House, and they've lived in any house. That's amazing. They were formed in that house and around that table in that residence. And it took a mighty effort to leave the grandeur at the door and to just be there and talk about fifth grade. Yeah. And, you know. Even in my job, you know, it's like, hey, you're on the road.

You're king. So I remember when I did Akeel in the Bee, everybody kept saying, this movie is going to be a hit. This movie's going to bust it out. This is going to you won't be a story. star. And like, it's such an elusive thing, but what's the star. You know what I? Yeah. Right. And how old were you then? And I was 11. And they were like, this is, I'm like, wow. This is huge. Really? Whatever that is. And I guess I'll be Michael Jackson now. You know, like, it was like huge. And then the movie came in and did so terrible in the box office. Although that was one of my favorite movies. And then,

and then the funny thing about it's like, over time, it grew to be my most popular film. Yeah. And the thing that people most know me for. But I use that as an example. in this is because our life is made up of many moments. It's not made, like our legacy is not just that one thing we did. It's the many, you know, it's the many things that we did. And so, like, Akela and the B was always there for people to come to and remember my work. And it grew over time amongst all the things I did. But I remember feeling in that moment being like, everybody lied to me.

You know what I mean? I felt like when my mom told me I was going to be a big girl at five, I still didn't get big. I was like, now, wait a minute, I'm still shorter than y'all. It sounds like big girl just means I, I, can't be a baby. Exactly. This don't seem right. How I fell with the Achilla thing. But what I learned and what I never did to myself after that was to expect an outcome, to be proud of the work, to be happy that I got the job or the thing that I wanted to get or did the, but not to make it mean that it is only that if I

receive a certain achievement. No, it's that to me. And that has to be enough. So that's the one thing I thought about when that happened. So that makes me think. I mean, I share this all the time. I mean, I went to Princeton, Harvard Law, because I thought I was going to be a lawyer and a corporate lawyer. I didn't know anything about what a lawyer did. I didn't come. Our family was, we were not professional people.

I picked law because it was the next thing to do. I applied. I got into Harvard. You get into Harvard, you go, right? That was the extent of my thinking. Yep. Right. And then I got out.

I practiced in a firm for two years. And I was like, I don't. like this at all. I'm not, you know, because corporate law is about its papers and briefs, its research, it's not very people-oriented, especially in your early years. It just, I had no idea what corporate law was. Right. And I had a, I had wonderful mentors. People supported me. I was able to achieve and do good things in that year. But I didn't know what that felt like. I did not want to be a lawyer.

And it turns out after all that education and all those loans. But to your point, it was autumn loans that we just paid off before Barack went into the White House. Okay. So, I mean, we were carrying debt, you know, for a very long time for me not to be. a lawyer. But to your point, I had no idea what that was going to mean and what was that, what that was going to feel like. It was just a goal that I set for myself. I didn't even know what it was based on. Yeah. I didn't know my why. I knew my what, but I didn't know my why. And I could have felt like a failure for it, right? But I didn't. Fortunately, I had parents.

I was like, let me try on some other things. To your point, there are chapters in life. That was a chapter. I needed to do that and know that and understand that. And I went on to have many, many chapters. And I'm still glad that I got my law degree. The way I think, you know, how I see the world is very much influenced by that education. Yes.

But it wasn't who I was supposed to be. And there's no way I would have known that had I not tried it. And then moved on from it. and tried on some other thing. Yeah. So for Noel, they're just, that life is about the chapters. You know, it's never any one thing.

And to place too much stock or put too much emotion on one or two achievements, it always sets you up for disappointment. Because life is bigger than that. Before we go, I want to hear my song. Which one, okay, here it is. It's so good.

It's so good. This is the best one. Here it is. And it goes a little bit like this. Now, don't clap because I'll go off rhythm. Yes, please. I've written some. White people.

Because you go. Baby, when the white people chime in on the rhythm. I want you to know something now. I love y'all. Cut this part out. We want to keep our white audience. Listen, I love my white people. I do.

But y'all just, when we start doing things, just sit still. Now there's Miss Diane Carol, Lena horn in Earth the kit They stayed on top for ages But their looks never quit Now when white women get older Their skin gets crested line But because of my race

Look at my face Sought there's a baby's behind Because black don't cry I tell you black Don't crack Now Cardi B and Beyonce Certainly know how to make a buck

But being sued for fights Or on Grammy nights They don't need no nip and tuck Da-na-na-na-na Now Harriet's got her railroad Sojournal's got her truth So Kamala Hats and Jasmine Crockett could be a choice at the voting booth. Oprah Winfrey's got her billions and Michelle's got Obama.

And I still look good out in Hollywood playing everybody's mom. I tell you, why? So white girls, get your facelifts to your foreheads on your back. Cause I'll be having fun Out in the sun Because baby Bull, I don't Ah!

Woo! And then Shaka Khan That's the orchestra going. Shagana. Girl! Gotta love it. The thing is, I stay open.

I'm probably way open. Yes. Oh my God, that sounded so wrong. I didn't mean that. Mom. My heart. Your family. My heart stays open.

Your heart literally stays open. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. All right. More open than it should be. But I do date.

And it's a fascinating adventure out there, you know. Mostly, though, I think there's really good men out there. I think to a certain extent, I'm a very unique sort of unicorn of a woman. Yes, you are. So it's going to take a unique person. And in the meantime, I have really learned how to live my life and enjoy it and not sit around waiting. I was saying to someone recently that I'm one of the first generations of choice and it's not anymore, which really there was a window and that has shifted. And I do think that that's going to change dating for women so much.

When you mean you've been the sort of the product of choice. Yeah, like the assumption of Roe v. Wade and the ability for a woman to find her own delight and pleasure and choice around how she navigates dating or how one would navigate dating. And we're in a different world now. And I'm curious what that will look like. It frightens me for younger girls because of many reasons, obviously. But even with the systemic protection of Roe v. Wade, I still was coming up against the cultural norms of being a choiceful woman

and owning my own body and my own choices and what it is that I'm looking for in a relationship and the ability to negotiate in a relationship what it is you want the relationship to be between the two of you as opposed to what society says it should be. We could not have Keenan Thompson on this podcast without doing one of my favorite skits, which is Black Jeopardy.

Let's go. Black Jeopardy. Craig and I have always thought we'd be pretty good at it. It looks a little hard. I'm a little intimidated. But I thought that if you would indulge us, you would give us an opportunity to play a couple of rounds. I love Black Jeopardy.

It was one of my favorites. Shout out to Chadwick, because he had the greatest Black Jeopardy ever was. It was incredible. I think we coined the phrase Karen for that sketch. As Karen. What is the camp? Everybody. We're ready.

Put something like raisins or something in the potatoes out. Okay. As you know, Black Jeopardy has a bunch of different categories, you know, different ones that like, you know, our categories today might be. You better say it right. Mm-hmm. Fixing your plate. Okay. Don't touch that.

Mm-hmm. Oh, you fancy. Oh. That ain't it. Black Twitter University. Hood classics, Black dads be like, et cetera, et cetera. Okay. Okay.

All right. This is the sibling competition. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck to both of you, contestants. We should hear about today's prizes. We'll do that later. I feel like Cadillac might be involved. All right. Our first category, that ain't it.

That ain't it. All right. The question is, a friend who says they don't do seasoning is also what? Not of colorful pigmentation. What is not of colorful pigmentation? That's close. Do you have an answer? Not invited back to my house. Whoa.

That is uninvited. Uninvited was the answer. All right. The next category, Black Twitter University. Okay. What does she ate and left no crumbs mean? It means she told you off and left you with your mouth hanging on the floor. Yes.

We need a ding ding ding ding ding. That's a good one. We would have accepted she slayed, she delivered, or that was flawless. Okay. You're in that real house, yes. What's the score? Two zero. Come on, Craig.

All right, right, right. What's up, man? My buzzer works. That's it. Black Jeopardy. You remember that? Yes, I know. I know.

All right, this is hood classics. Okay. Good classics, okay. This item doubles as a weapon, a shoe, and an expression of discipline. What is Mama's fluffy pink house shoe? Ooh, yes, ding, ding, ding, ding. That was too specific. Did you have the answer?

No, I was embellishing as I was just going to say house slipper, I was going to say house slipper. Or that flip-flop with precision aim. So, yes, we all know that boomerang joke from the great Teddy Murphy. Incredible. All right. Black dads be like, what does your dad say every time he walks past the thermostat? What is, we ain't trying to heat up the whole, cool down the whole neighborhood.

You got one? I do. What is nobody should be touching this who ain't paying rent? Close. Both of those are very close. We have, why do it feel like the topics in here? Y'all paying the light bills or touch it again and see what happens. Oh, yes.

It was close. Yes, close. We're split it between the two of you. Okay. So what is it? 21, 3-1? It's 2.5 or 1.5? 2.5 or 1.5?

Okay. That's close. Come on. Okay, okay. All right, church folks. Okay. If someone shouts, take your time, pastor, they probably mean what? They probably mean, hurry up so I can get to the.

repass and have some fried chicken. That's right. Y'all so specific with it. Ding-ding. Jeez. Get to the repress and have some fried chicken. That's usually on a funeral. I know, but, you know, it's a...

Unacceptable answers was, wrap it up. We hungry, and you're dragging it. Mama said, the category. Mama said, if she uses your full government name, including the middle one, what does that mean? Oh. I think the sale was first.

You're about to get your butt whoop. Mm-hmm. You're about to get it. That is the answer. Let's go. Craig, where you at, man? I'm right here. Your hand is too far.

Well, you're probably. You need a better. You got to be closer to the buck. I got to get a question before. But that's because I might be in the way. Just hover right. Okay. All right.

Then he's going to press it for the question. All right. Category. You better say it right. Better say it right. When a black auntie says, Bless her heart. What does she mean?

What is she's doing something wrong? Uh-huh. You got a better one? What is, you have no talent at whatever it is you're trying to do. Y'all being nice. We would have accepted she being shady. That girl is struggling or she a mess. She a mess.

Yeah. We try to be too nice. We try to be too nice on that. This next category is fixing your plate. Ooh. Where is your mama's potato salad recipe stored? That's you, Greg. What is in the middle of the Gideon Bible?

Go ahead. She don't write the recipe down. She knows it in her head. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's a good one. That was a good one, Misha. That was close, though. That Gideon, you got to keep the Gideon close.

You got to keep it close. All right, next category. Oh, you fancy? She got on hoops, a side part, and baby hair is laid. What does that mean? Who got that? I think it was great. Okay.

What is Mama's going out tonight? Close. You got one, Michelle? What does that mean? It just means it's a Tuesday. That means she about her business. Yeah. She's not playing.

She means business and don't try her. That's basically what y'all said. Give them both a point. All right. This next category is only two more. Okay. You got a chance to catch up. Don't touch that is the category.

When your mama says she's watching her stories, what is she referring to? Oh. Go ahead. What is all my children, Brian's Hope, One Life to Live? That's right. Any of the daytime soaps. That's right.

What is General Hospital at our house? General Hospital. Well, no, he doesn't get that one. So Bobbers, yeah, no. You got that. Yeah, come on now. That was a good one. That was a good one.

This is a bonus question. Okay. What's this going? We got 5.5 to 1.5. Oh, man. So this one's worth 40 points. Five points. For a time.

Somebody to win. Five points would be six. Yeah, that's right. It would be the win. Yeah. Yeah, that five points will be. Okay. I'm nervous.

The category is, the Obamas be Obama's. Question. Barack hit you with the, now let me be clear. What's coming next? Michelle. A 20-minute answer to a question. 100%. A whole-ass TED talk.

Listen Listen Listen But that's because they're married That ain't there That ain't good for you I didn't make up the questions Well I think we got a champion

I mean I think your flaw You were too laid up off the buzzer You know No it wasn't the quickness It was my answers I was trying to be too creative Strolled down black memory

It was really fun That was lovely That was all The old aunties and their bibles The baby hair Yeah, baby. You know. I love it.

Shout out to the coach.