IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson - Your Questions Answered with Michelle and Craig

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

On this episode of IMO, we’re doing things a little differently! No guest, just your questions. Topics include: what Michelle and Craig learned about each other by doing the podcast together, their thoughts on open relationships, and the last time they cried.Have a question you want answered? Write to us at imopod.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's hard for me to remember specific scenes. But of course, Teresa Judice's table flip, you know, prostitution whore, you know. Prostitution hoar! This episode is brought to you by TheraFlu. Hey, how you doing? I'm good. How are you? I'm really good.

I'm really good. I'm excited about this. This is going to be fun. Yeah, this is something new that might become something. something permanent. Yeah. Yeah, in the rotation, in the IMO rotation. I know. Tell our listeners what we're about to do. So folks, as we always welcome you to IMO, we're going to do something a little different this time because we get a lot of questions and we really appreciate all the questions that we get from you folks. But some of them aren't necessarily made for a whole show. So we took a bunch of those and put them together and I have them

here. And I thought it'd be a good idea for you and I to try and go through some of these, which are, there's a whole gamut of these. Yeah, yeah. Well, this is more of the Michelle and Craig portion of IMO with Michelle and Craig. So it's just us. No guess. It's just Michelle and Craig. So we can do whatever we want. So here we go. Okay. Woo, let's go. Let's kick it off. First question. Okay. What is one thing you've learned about the other from doing the podcast and working together. Oh. Do you want to go first?

I will go first. Okay. What I've learned is that you tried to get your ears pierced and thought I didn't notice. And I see you got all these new piercings in your ear. Yeah. Yeah. And it looks pretty good. I don't think you noticed.

I did notice. So we have been having a fight this whole session about whether or not. I noticed it. And I had noticed it, but we were in the midst of a show. And I noticed it like this. We were sitting like this. Yeah, but we're together all the time. I mean, you know, it's not like we are just, we walk in, we sit in a show.

I mean, I've been, we sit in the hole. We had lunch together. It was days. It was days. It wasn't days. I saw it. I just went, I said, oh, I saw that. But when I saw it, we were in the midst of a show.

So I didn't think to comment on it until I saw it again. But until you mentioned that I'm waiting for the men in my life to notice. And I was like, what is she talking about? Well, anyway, just to let you guys know what happened is that I have always thought about getting some extra piercings in my ear and just never got around to it. I had a second hole that I had got like before I had kids. But then I just got lazy and stopped putting an earring in it. But nowadays, the young people in my life are doing more piercings. There's just more beautiful and dormant.

You see there's more of a cluster, the constellation sort of look of twinkles. What is it? Five. Yeah. That's five. Yeah, I got. So I was going in for a few and then I did my normal self and was like, oh, put one there and put one there. Oh, yeah, now.

Let's try one there. So in one sitting, I got tin piercings. So. Ouch. It actually was not that. That there wasn't bad at all. It's really beautiful.

I like it. I like it. I like it. It is. I want our listeners to let us know what they think. If I didn't like it, you know I would say I didn't like it. So that's a big thing. Barack finally noticed. Took him a couple of days.

And he was like, you haven't had your hair up. You've had your hair down. And I was like, I don't know. I like sleep with you every night, dude. You know? But he noticed. Yesterday. And I got them done like four days ago. So don't tell him that I noticed before him. I think I did. You did. Ouch. But the more serious thing that I learned from doing the show with you is that you and I grew up in the exact same house with the exact same parents, but our memories are, can be vastly different at times.

But our experience have been different too. You know, I was commenting to our producers earlier how, you know, dad would take me and do stuff that he wouldn't take you and do stuff. So I'm sure that's no surprise to anybody. And there were conversations that I had with mom that apparently I thought she was having with you. No. How she thought about leaving dad every spring. Oh, she, and, you know, given.

She probably, you probably knew. your little heart probably couldn't take that. I would have been worried. I would have been worried about that every year. It's like, oh my God, it's spring. Oh, shoot. Well, it has been fun working with you. Oh, man, this has been a joy.

You are, you know, you're, I didn't, it's not something I didn't know. You're very professional. You're very prepared. You're a great partner to have. You take everything you do seriously. But I kind of knew that about you. But it's fun to, you know, have a partner that shows up in the same way. It is. It is. Everybody knows how diligent you are. So I have to keep the bar high for myself.

You're doing a good job. All right. Next question. When is the last time you cried? Oh, this is easy. I watched Hamnet. Okay. Hamnet, this is my, you never watch movies. Because you're too busy on social media. No, I watch movies, but I haven't watched Hamlet. But Hamnet is the story of Shakespeare, his early life, his family life, his relationship. So it's a period piece, obviously. And you learn about his son Hamnet. He had three children, two daughters, and one son.

And he lost his son. And it talked about how, it explained how that loss, his relationship helped fuel some of his greatest work. Chloe Zau is the director, just beautifully directed. And it's just touching and powerful in the ending, which I will not give it away, but it's a 10-minute ending. and there are no words. It's the end of, what was it, Hamlet? The first time his wife saw his work after she was kind of upset with him

for, you know, she kind of realized that through this all, I'm alone, and yes, you bought us a beautiful home, but I've been here alone dealing with this, so she was angry. But she had never taken the time to see what he had given up so much of his family time to do And it was her watching a scene in Hamlet that she could see where it was about their son and the pain that he was working through, through his art. And it was just beautifully, beautifully done.

And I don't like to choke up. And you know how you're trying to hold back tears. I could. It was so emotional. I couldn't. I mean, I literally was sobbing. Yeah. And I rarely do that in a film.

But just we watched that the other day. Beautiful. Amnet. Okay. I'm a buyer. Has anybody seen it? Did you all feel the same way I felt about it? I mean, the actor, all of the actors, the children, amazing, amazing.

It deserves to be in the running. It's a beautiful, beautiful film. Oh, neat, neat. Anyway, that was a long one. Yeah, that was the long one. That's okay. That's all right. Mine won't be as long.

I should get paid by the head. I think I did some Oscar work for them. I'll go watch it. So as you all know, we have been cranking these shows out. So my preparation is always ongoing. And we just had Suleka Joad and John Batiste on. And in preparation for them coming on, not only did I read

Sulaka's book, which was a tearjerker, but I watched American Symphony for the first time. A higher ground production. A higher ground production that I recommended for everyone. But let me tell you, I was bawling almost,

it wasn't quite the beginning, but early on. And let me tell you, it's a little different than bawling over great writing or great acting. It was the combination of their story together, which is a love story. And his music, his music touched me in a way that when I met him, I almost started crying. Yeah. And he felt that.

Yeah. But it's, you know, there are some movies like the, you wouldn't know this, but the opening of Gladiator. Yeah, not a big gladiator. It's like, is a guy's, movie and the music adds to it. I wasn't expecting that. The music adds to it. And this was the same effect in a emotional way for me. So that was the last time. Stay tuned for the episode with Sue Laca and John. It's a beautiful episode. Okay. Next one. This is going to take a

severe C-turn here. Okay. I love a turn. My partner has expressed a desire to open up relationship. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this, but I can tell he isn't very happy or satisfied with the way things are going. What should I do? Get out. Run. Look, I just, I wouldn't do it. Not something. I don't, I know that there is a polygamy culture. What are they Are they calling polyamorous? That's what it's called. Not my cup of tea. Yeah, we old. We old. It's hard. Again, say, not my cup of tea. And I'm going to say if you weren't into it before and won it now, that is a real no-go for me. Now, if you were, if you met that way or you were, you have been polyamorous prior. And, and, you. you're thinking, okay, this might work for us, then we can have another conversation.

But if you guys went into this and like it's a, it's supposed to be a monogamous relationship, your typical, you know, partnership. And now one person wants to change up the details on. Sounds a little fishy. It does sound fishy. Sounds a little fishy. Look, and for the questioner, If it's, don't talk yourself into something like that that you are not into.

There's a reason you're not into it. And that's not the kind of compromise in a marriage that you get used to and adjust to. If you're unsure about it, it's probably because it's not something that you want. And if your partner is unhappy, explore that first. Like if you, don't, don't do that to keep your partner. Right. Don't make that kind of accommodation in your relationship. because you think it's broken. You know, deal with what, if it's broken, figure it out.

And it's not because there aren't enough people in the relationship. I can't think that that's ever, you know, the root of the problems that we need more emotions thrown into the mix. You know, I never talked to dad about anything like this, but I could imagine him saying, don't make a communication problem into an intimacy problem. Do you think he will? That's deep. I think he would say something like that. Like, Dad, way to go.

I think he would. So we're not into it and we don't recommend that you get into it, especially because you're not into it. Right. We played a summer tournament about two hours away. And as I think back, I wish we had considered staying in an Airbnb home instead of staying at a hotel. We would have had an opportunity to eat together, watch film together, as well as control

the curfew of a bunch of 13-year-old boys. I also think that it would have given our parents a break from their children. As you can imagine, coming together as a team outside of the game is as important as what you do on the court. And having the ability to hang out together at an Airbnb would have given us that extra opportunity to bond. And if you're thinking about the big tournaments that come into your town, now is a great time to think about hosting fellow fans and players during the season. February is the month, we all start romanticizing a little. Our routines, our goals, even those ideas we can't stop thinking about. And if you've got one of those ideas, Shopify is the best place to bring it to life bigger. Shopify is. Shopify is the best place to bring it to life bigger.

Shopify makes the first step simple. Whether it's a side hustle or a full storefront, Shopify takes the guesswork out of starting something new. Everything's in one place, easy to manage, even if it's just you, their themes, their tools, even their AI, Shopify's sidekick. It all helps you save time and stay focused on what matters. So think about it.

What's that idea you keep coming back to? and what would it look like to finally build it? So if you're ready to build your own empire, whether it's merch, products, or the next best idea, get on Shopify.com slash IMO and make it happen today. I try to always have a protein bar on me whenever I'm on the go, something quick and easy that will still keep me satisfied. But with protein bars, it can often feel like you're choosing between taste and nutrition.

If it tastes good, you flip the pack. package over and suddenly there's a full paragraph of ingredients you can't pronounce. Artificial sweeteners, low-quality protein, fillers. I might as well just eat a proper dessert. I didn't want to have to choose between tasty and nutritious, so I kept searching until I found Aloha protein bars. Aloha bars are USDA organic and made with ingredients that are actually grown somewhere. That's part of their whole taste that grow.

philosophy. They use plant-based ingredients grown in the ground, thoughtfully sourced, and built to keep you satisfied. For example, their peanut butter cup bar has 14 grams of protein, 10 grams of fiber, and only 5 grams of sugar, which is wild considering how delicious it is. It's made with absolutely zero artificial ingredients or fillers, and it has become my go-to snack when Kelly isn't stealing them from my bag, that is. So if you're in the mood for something truly craveable and nutritious, try any of Aloha's protein bars. Grab one at your local grocery store or head to Aloha.com.

All right, next one. How do I combat FOMO? I was thinking about explaining what FOMO is. I think everybody knows what that is, but I was like, I paused. It's not Hamnet. I paused. We are in... I did pause because I was going to say,

and for those of you who don't know what FOMO is, and then I was going to say it, but you're right, everybody knows what FOMO is. I'm broke and I barely see my friends anymore because they always go out for dinner. Get coffees or go on vacations together, generally doing things I can't afford to do right now. How do I combat my FOMO or how do I get my friends

to do broke things with me? Plan some broke things. Yeah. And invite your friends. I mean, look, yeah, if you can't afford to do what they do, I'm sure that that is hurtful and you feel a little left out, right? But, you know, your financial position is what it is. But there's so many more ways to have fun. The question that I have is, are they not a planner?

Are they just somebody who is waiting to be invited in? It's like, look, if you're not, my thing, if you're not invited to a party, then have your own. Make your, make your own. Invite your friends to a picnic. Do invite people over to your, if you're broke to your small-ass apartment. And make it a potluck, right? You know, if they're your true friends, they would love to do something broke with you. So my first thing would be make sure that they're your real friends because, you know, my wealthy friends will include me and stuff and will be happy to come and do my kind of stuff. And that's how it should be.

Your real friends don't, it's not about what you're doing or how much you're spending. It's being together with people who you enjoy to be around. So what you're saying is they may not be your friends. It's what I'm saying. It's what I'm saying. Okay. Okay. What is something you're curious about right now that would surprise people?

Gosh, I tell so much about my life. I don't know of anything would surprise people. What am I curious about? It's not that I'm curious about, but that I really enjoy, given how, you know, sort of snarky I can be about sports. Mm-hmm. I actually-snarky is a nice word. I do enjoy sports. I really do. I am, you know, I know football, I know basketball. I know the game. I've grown up with it. You know, if I'm sitting there watching it, I definitely do find myself drawn into it analyzing, well, why they do that and what's going on here. So I can get into it. But what I'm really into are the sports documentaries of any kind. I mean, I love the story. of an athlete's rise, fall, journey.

And I tend to, I tend to watch all of it, you know. The, you know, and I'm going to get the Netflix stuff on tennis and the, our work that we did starting five. I watch all of that. If that comes up, if something good comes up in sports. So you'd be surprised that I'm into it in sports too. Yeah, I am. to it and, you know, just watched on Apple, a documentary about, and that was old Sidney Poitier. Yeah.

You know, I love just running, I've gone down all the list of television, you know, bios. And I just love the story of a person's life, but I'm particularly interested in the story of an athlete's life. and the work that goes into it and their psychology and how they get through a season. I'm fascinated by that. That is a surprise. Yeah. That is a surprise. So I did it.

Yes. What about you? So I think most people now know. He likes fashion. That's so funny. That would be funny if I said fashion. He watches the spring shows in Paris. I think people.

are well aware that, because I've said this a lot, and now that we do this show, I probably talked about this a lot, but how much of a race fan I am, because I wanted to be a race car driver. Another thing, little, you wanted to be a pilot and an astronaut. You wanted to do all things. You grew out of your dreams. I grew out of my dreams. And my legs just got too long for the cockpit. They got too long for the driver's seed. But I, I, I, I, I am a, people don't know that I'm a huge Formula One fan. And I just found that out a couple of years ago. And that was funny when you found out that you, you were so kind to treat Kelly and me on one of my birthdays to a trip down to Miami.

It was the first Formula one they did in Miami. Because a dear friend of ours, Melody Hobson, it's friends with both of us in George Lucas, love you guys. True Blue Melody is a Princetonite, but George Lucas is a huge Formula One fan. And Melody invited me, and I don't know anything about Formula One. But then I heard that you were into it. I was like, let me go for you, right? Yes, you did. You did because you had no idea what was going on.

I did not. It was such a scene, too. It was so confusing. It's a scene. It's a scene. But once, after. after we got through all the scene part and we were watching the race, you were interested in trying to figure out. Well, like, it's a sport.

It's a sport. You were like, so why? What's this and that? So that was really fun to see you be open to. And you knew everything about it. Well, I've been watching for a while. It's a complicated sport to watch. It's a difficult one to watch because there's the qualifying.

And what does that mean? And what does that mean for your time? And then I didn't realize it was like the tire rotation. And how many times you visit, you get to, you, I'm, you visit the pit. You know, and what's the penalty? You know, you were explaining all this stuff. Yeah, there were some time penalties for infractions and things. And yeah, but I, I, that was a bucket list day for me.

But most people do not know that I'm an F1 fan. You got to walk down in the, oh, we were in the paddock. We got to sit in. Yeah, that's what it's called. The paddock. We got to sit in the paddock and we got to sit in the seats that are in the paddock and listen to the engineers talking to the racers and hear what's actually going on, which you and Kelly had no idea, but I was, I was. Well, it was good having you there because you were like our little mentor on the side. Yeah, it was really neat, really neat. So, all right, good question. All right. Now, this one's just for you. No. You can imagine what it is. No. What is one of your favorite scenes from any Bravo Real Housewives franchise?

Yeah, that's right. You, in all this time, have you not looked at any? I'm going to do it because you recommended it to me. Which series are you going to? But there's a new one coming out called The Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Since I lived there, I was going to watch that one. Don't start with a new one. No.

Well, then I'm jumping in and I won't know the story. Well, then you have to do too. Because it takes some time for the relationships to cultivate, right? And, you know, we don't know whether the new ones are going to make it, right? We don't know. I mean, I wish you all well, but we don't know y'all yet. You know, they may not be interesting. I want you to dive into, you know, one where-

One that you know is good. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I get that. I get that. All right. But scenes that stand out, you know, I mean, it's hard for me to remember specific scenes. But of course, Teresa Judice's table flip, you know, prostitution whore, you know.

Prostitution hor! She flipped the table. A lot of them involved. And was stuff on the table? Oh, it was at a nice dinner. There were wine and tablecloths. And these are the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Is that one you recommend?

Because it said the follow-up question here says, what's your recommendation for the best housewife franchise to get new viewers into? New Jersey is going through some stuff right now. Because it wasn't even clear that they were going to film together. Well, because Teresa Judice and her brother Joe are central, but they haven't been getting along. And it got ugly. There's a brother's sister situation.

Yeah, they're brother's sisters. and their spouses are on there? Yeah, mm-hmm, yeah. But I think they are filming. It's a good one. Okay. Because the Jersey folks don't play. So there are a couple of ones from Teresa,

who was one of the housewives that actually went to jail. Like real day? She served time because her first husband got them into tax trouble. So they both went to. jail. Really? And the first husband is not allowed back in the country. And they have kids. They have five, five, four, five beautiful girls. So we saw all that. This is not faked. No, no, no. She went to jail. And they went to jail. And they had her on the show. They showed her going to jail. Yeah. And then when she got out and then she came back on the show. She's back on the show. Oh, my gosh. That's a journey. That's what I'm

saying. Go to New Jersey. Okay. But you got to start. I go pick a season that you can start maybe right around the time she's about to go to jail would be a good one. But Teresa's a pill. And there was one time in the reunion when she like almost knocked out Andy Cohen. A fist fight?

She was going after another housewife and he was trying to stop her. This is the host. She takes one arm and just pushes him out of weight and these are little ladies, but she's strong. I love that one. That was another one. Okay.

All right. All right. Back to reality. But that's something, you know, we're going to have to do another one. And the next time we do a mailbag, you will have to have seen one. I'll have to seem one. And then we can talk about it. All right, Aaron, you're in charge.

Does Kelly watch any? Well, yes. Oh, well, then watch with her. Watch the one that she, this is a good couple's activity. The women in my family. All of them are smart, intelligent. This isn't about smart and intelligence. This is about.

Leslie. Juice. This is about tea. They all watch this. Tea. Other people's tea. Okay. All right.

This episode of IMO is brought to you by Theraflu. Theriflu, makers of fast acting cold and flu relief, believes everyone deserves the right to rest and recover when they're sick, no matter where. they live or how much money they make. As part of our partnership with Theraflu, we've been asking for listener's stories about what it's like to balance caregiving and taking time off when you're sick. And it's been eye-opening to hear about the struggle that caregivers in particular have when it comes to choosing between taking time off when sick and putting food on the table. The health policy organization KFF reported that about half of working parents lose pay when they miss it. work to care for sick kids. In 2021, Theraflu launched the Rest and Recovery Fund,

and they've committed more than $1 million to provide microgrants to families and individuals, helping offset the cost of taking a sick day for those who don't have coverage. Learn more or help someone apply for the fund at Theraflu.com slash right to recover. This episode of IMO is brought to you in part by Acorns. Back when I was coaching basketball, I saw firsthand how powerful consistency can be. With Acorns, it's the same play. Show up, stay steady, and let time do the rest. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is

spare change. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns recommend a diversified portfolio that can help you weather all the market's ups and downs. You just need to stick with it, and Acorns makes that easy. Acorns automatically invest your money, giving it a chance to grow with time. This reminds me of the consistent steps it took for me to go from a player into the business world and back into coaching. Sign up now and join over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with acorns. Plus, Acorns will boost your new account with a $20

bonus investment. Offer only available at Acorns.com slash IMO. That's A-C-O-R-N-S.com slash I-M-O to get your $20 bonus investment today. From Acorns, Mighty Oaks do grow. Investing doesn't have to be complicated. Acorns makes it easy to invest for your future, plan for tomorrow and spend smarter today. Paid non-client endorsement, compensation provides incentive to positively promote acorns. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors, LLC, and SEC

registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash IMO. All right, here's the next question. I like this one. I've been seeing this guy for a year. His lease is ending, and he asked if he could move in with me, I have a spare room. He can only contribute $500 to the monthly rent while I can cover the rest on my end. But my question for you is, how do you deal with an early relationship with uneven financial footing?

I know what your answer is going to be. Well, no. I mean, I think an early relationship with uneven financial footing, you know, you probably have to split more. I mean, I don't think that it's necessary for two people to be financial equals to build a relationship. Building a relationship and dating, but moving in, period. You know, if it's early in the relationship, you shouldn't be moving in. First of all, I don't care how much money he has or doesn't have. Like, you don't know him yet, right?

Let alone a new person in your life that you've just met that is now, going to be living in a room that you have? What happens if, you know, what are you going to do when you find out that he lied about something or you find out that he is different from who you thought he is? And now he's on your, he's a sub-letter, you know? Now you have a contract with him. Why on earth would anybody think to do that early in a relationship? You know, wait, wait a couple of years. I'm not, you know, I'm not even going to speak to whether the male and the relationship should be contributing more. This to me is about, you don't do anything that's serious in an early part of a relationship. I, I, maybe this will be controversial, but I don't,

I think you can have like, deep like at first sight, but love to me in most, instances because there are always exceptions, it takes time to fully know, have somebody reveal themselves to you over time to know whether or not your affections and your feelings stand the test of time. There's so many tests you need in a relationship. Have you ever traveled together? Traveling together and not just traveling to Grandma's house, doing a tough trip, like go abroad, you know, use passports, be in a place. Be in a place. where there is another language and things aren't comfortable. How do you all resolve those issues? I'm always like, you always want to see how your partner's home life is. Go to Thanksgiving dinner.

See how people relate to their families. Do they have a relationship? What are some of the sticking points? If you meet somebody in January, you miss the holidays. So you've got to wait another. You want to get to a holiday where you see people's families, right? I mean, I just think, that, you know, time reveals so much. Of course, there are exceptions. There are plenty of people that I know who have great relationships where I met them. Month one, we were engaged, month three, we've been married for 20 years. That happens for sure. But my recommendation, as always, take some time. Make moving in, like, way down the line. And if he's that broke, that if you're saying he's moving in with you because he can't afford to live anywhere else,

I would definitely stay clear of that. Like, don't come to the rescue because I'd want to know how did you get in a position where you can't afford rent. That's a red flag. I just want to know. I don't want to see your bank statements. Yeah. Right.

Right. What do you think? There's not much I would say differently. I will say that I don't think that your take is controversial. I think most people realize that it's hard to have love at first sight. It's just, but you know, I don't know too many. I'm trying to think of the people in my life who said that they met their partner and knew right away that was going to be a long-term situation. I haven't met people like that, but it's not the norm.

It's not the norm. It's not the norm. So I don't think it's controversial. And I think the important thing to peel, to peel back what you said is there's, no need to hurry to move in together, especially if you're adults, right? Like, you know, I would, it's just, there's absolutely no hurry. Take the time to get to know the person and don't, and certainly don't move in together. This is like a shotgun move in together. It's like, I'm about to get kicked out. I'm about to get kicked out. Can you help the brother out?

No, I can't. I cannot. All right. That's easy. All right. This one's just for you. Another one. And you can say pass. Are there some that are just for you? Well, no, because you're the iconic one of the pair. Oh, my gosh. That's not what the word on the street is.

So what's a White House secret you've never told, which doesn't make sense because then it wouldn't be a secret. I mean, I've told everything. All the secrets that I can tell. You have told already. Pick up one of my books, they're in there. And anything I haven't told you, I can't. There's a reason. That's right.

That is correct. National security. This one is, you know, I laughed when I saw this question, which I shouldn't have said because I might offend somebody. But here we go. I just found out through Instagram that my ex is dating a far right conservative. For context, we are both women. When I'm DM'd, when I DM'd her about it, she blocked me. Have you lost friends to politics before?

And how do you feel with close friends having such drastic ideological changes? Well, you know, I mean, we're the Obamas. I think all our friends are pretty clear on, you know, what they're entering into when they, you know, endeavor to have a friendship. But before we were the, I can't say that. there has been an instance where I've felt that, because my husband was in politics, I felt that some people that I respected were not supportive, not in a, like, I'm going to vote for him, but I'm going to work against him. I'm kind of, I don't play when it comes to my husband. So there's only been a handful of instances where I,

I've dropped a friend because I didn't trust them around this issue. Or I was like, if you're not with him, then you're not with me. But it's been rare. It's been very rare. And I, you know, I think it's hard for us not to know our friend's political stances because of who we are. It's also hard not to know because they're your friends. And if they're your friends, you know what their political leanings are. Sometimes people just don't want to talk about politics.

Not my friends. See, this is an easy one for me. I haven't lost any friends because they're my friends. Right? Yeah, you shouldn't be losing friends over political ideology. Today, you know, people who are struggling within families because of different, you know, I think politics is more divisive now in ways that it wasn't the case when we were coming up. So I do think more people are probably confronted with this issue.

All I can say, it's a difficult position to be in, especially when, you know, it is hard not to see certain positions as contrary to some funding. things that you believe in. And it can get tough. But I haven't, you know, I haven't had to deal with that. And what I would tell the questioner, you know, try to stay open and have some communication, you know, because there was something in your partner that you saw before politics got in the way. And people grow and change. So if you were really into and cared about this person, I would urge you all to maybe seek some counseling to find a way to have a mediated conversation.

Maybe you have to draw some lines in the sand and just say, we love each other, but we can't go here. I wouldn't throw out the baby with a bathwater because political ideologies change. I'm not sure how old they are. If they're young, you know, people can be playing around in a space. They could be exploring different beliefs. I would say, try to work on some line of communication. And you might need a third party person to help you do it.

If you think the relationship was worth it before the political divide happened or you were aware of it. Right, right. As in most relationship questions, communications key. Try it out. Try it. We have one more question from our listener who is here in studio with us. It will be Crystal from Alaska.

How can I, as a single woman, talk to my friends about not being able to contribute to bachelor's parties and baby showers? I'm building a financial future for myself that might rely solely on me and I need to hunker down. Asking for a friend. There is sort of the... Expectations of weddings has exploded since you and I got married. Okay.

Right? I mean, when we were coming up, you got engaged on your own. Your fiancé came, asked. It was an intimate experience. There was generally not an engagement party. No, I've never been to an engagement party. We've never been to an engagement party any time in our life when we were broken when we were with, you know, even a higher class of people who had resources.

Our peers who were all professionals and bankers and lawyers, this never happened, never went to an engagement party, never went on a pre-engagement trip, you know? So now the, you know, the expectation is that everybody flies in. So the engagement becomes an event in itself where friends are expected to fly in after the engagement to then celebrate the couple after they've been engaged. So that's an ask. And then there's the Bachelorette party or the Bachelorette Party, which oftentimes is a destination place. So now your friend got married now not only were you expected to fly. And sometimes you're flying in Paris for their engagement because they wanted to get, they're from the south side of Chicago, but they've dreamt of.

getting engaged in front of the Eiffel Tower. And now they want you to join in. And the Bachelor party is like that. The Bachelor party is like that. And this is before you get to the wedding, which a lot of times this day and age, people are having these destination weddings. I'm from the south side of Chicago, but we're going to get married on the Amalfi Coast, and you're in it.

And you have to fly there. This is what this caller is talking about. In order to participate and celebrate your friends, just imagine you're at the stage where you have five friends getting married in one year. And it's early in your career. You're not talking about people in their 40s. Right. And so what I'm finding is that the young people in my life are spending so much of their early wealth on attending being involved in each other's weddings. I've talked to people in their 20s who've, they've got like 10 weddings.

And they're traveling to all of them. So it's a plane ticket. It's hotel. Not to mention what you're wearing. This is if you're not in the wedding party. I just think that in this culture, what I would say to young people is count. Really, it's like what I say about college. If you can't afford to do it, then you really have to know how.

how much it costs. You have to know how much money you're spending, what those loans are going to mean that you're taking out, what those payments are going to do to you, what that means at the tail end of your experience, so that at the end of it, you don't wind up with nothing or surprise that you don't have wealth. I mean, if you're going to that many weddings, I can tell you, I've heard young people say they're spending $8, $10,000 a year going to other people's weddings. What I will say is that is the beginning of a down payment on a home. That is the beginning of a down payment if you decide to have kids of putting your kids in college. And I'm not saying that people can't have the wedding that they want, but what I advise young people is you better really think about what you can afford.

Right. And set a budget for yourself that you can afford. And then you have to talk to your friends. now we're on the broke part. You know, you should tell your friends, I love you, I am happy for you, I can't afford it. And I'm going to be able to afford to do three things this year. Because once you do that, now you don't have your vacation. This is your vacation. This is your trip to visit your family. You know, you're compounding all of this. I would strongly urge young people to count to really understand the financial expense that they're making. And if you can afford to do it, and this is how you want to spend your money, of course, have at it. You know, it's wonderful to support your friends in weddings. Maybe you'll find the love of your life at somebody's wedding. You don't want to

miss out. That's the FOMO part of it. But to do it blindly, to do it and then look up in 10 years and go, I don't have any savings. Because I've been a, and then that means, that friends have to understand. I hate to beat a dead horse, but I am going to, because it all goes back to, you know, my really good friends

would either have a wedding that people, that their friends could attend, or they would understand that their friends couldn't attend because it was going to be too expensive for them. So I'm in total agreement with you. I just didn't realize that it had gotten to the point of this nuclear

explosion of the expectations of folks having these big wedding big destination weddings we had a Barack and I we had a big wedding it was 300 and something people

but you know we did it in Chicago we did it in a venue we got a local cater we didn't have a wedding coordinator we didn't have a and it's still cost a lot of money. Now we, and a lot for the time, it was $12,000, which felt like a lot. Yeah. It was a lot for us starting out. But even looking back, we were glad we did it because

our families were from, you know, Barack's family lived in Hawaii. There wasn't, there wasn't sort of a regular way for our families to get together. It felt good to have all of our friends from all parts of our lives come together and they meet each other and they stayed friends with each other. That was all good. But it wasn't the venue or the flowers or the, you know, any of the things we spent money on that made it special. And I probably didn't know that then because I was young and, you know, you dream of your wedding. And I would have spent less, you know. But it's easy to say in hindsight, right?

So I get, you know, you have this dream wedding and, you know, we have the resources. I would want to help Malia and Sasha have the weddings that they wanted. But I would definitely be talking to them about the burden some of their choices would have on their friends. You have to sort of talk about that up front and figure out what that means. and what they want. And I'd also offer money over the cost of a wedding. Yeah, I know. That's your M.O.

You want the wedding or do you want the checks? Let's make a deal. Do you want the box? What's behind your number three? Or do you want to take what's in the box? That's my sister. That's great. Great.

My sister's M.O. What? Do you want the box or do you want the curtain? Most people take the curtain. Well, this has been fun. That does it for our. our mailbag, our first attempt, if the listeners like it, we'll do more of it. Let us know, because we'll do more of this. This was really fun.

Yeah. And we're in no shortage of opinions on IMO.