In Search Of Excellence - Amberly Lago: Triumph Over Trauma | E87

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

Welcome to another episode of In Search of Excellence! My guest today is the incredible Amberly Lago. When Amber was 38 years old, she was hit by an SUV while riding her Harley-Davidson motorcycle.When she woke up from a coma, she learned that she had a 1% chance of saving her leg from being amputated. After the accident, she was diagnosed with an incurable nerve disease, lost her business, fell into a deep depression, and became an alcoholic.Today Amberly is a peak performance coach, TEDx speaker, top 1% podcast host, motivational speaker, and a leading expert in the field of resilience, transformation, and health and wellness. She is also the bestselling author of the book True Grit and Grace, and the founder of Unstoppable Life Mastermind.Time stamps:02:05 Amberly Lago’s backgroundA strict Texas mom and dancing classesThe importance of instilling resilience in our childrenIt’s OK to ask for help05:00 High school experience and Amberly’s kidsParents’ divorce and physical and sexual abuseChildren need an outletDancing and drill teamsAmberley's high school jobs09:47 The importance of mentors in our livesAmberly had a mentor for everything she did in lifeThe importance of doing research and finding a counsel, not an opinionNot having a mentor is a waste of moneyPushing you to pass your limitsRandall’s mentoring experienceUnstoppable Life Mastermind for womenHaving the right mentor is life-changing16:37 What is a mastermind according to Amberly?A small group of like-minded people who help brainstorm, collaborate, and guide each otherNot expensive events with hundreds of different peopleVery profitable gatherings where hosts over-promise but don’t deliverAmberly’s Unstoppable Life MastermindThe launch of the mastermind while the world was shutting down25:07 How important is it to be in good shape?Amberly’s entire identity was in physicalityA knee injury and self-helpWent to school and became a certified trainerStarted a course to help people become trainers28:55 The horrible motorcycle accidentGot very seriously injuredThe first thought was how to save her business1% chance to save the legOur health is the most important thingHad 34 surgeries in totalYou have a shovel in your hand, you can lean on it, pray for a hole, or you can start digging37:09 The Story of a Good SamaritanAn unknown person saved Amberly’s lifeShe doesn’t remember him but would like to know who he was39:31 Chronic regional pain syndromeAfter the accident, suffered from chronic painComplex Regional Pain Syndrome – CRPSPredicted to be in pain and paralyzed foreverDecided to work hard to recoverTried every kind of medical treatmentHad to change everything in her lifeOnly when she is teaching, she feels no painWorking on a healthy sleeping pattern and other healthy stuffResources Mentioned:TrueGritAndGrace.comAmberlyLago.comSponsors:Sandee | Bliss: BeachesWant to Connect? Reach out to us online!Website | Instagram | LinkedIn

After my accident, I was still in so much pain and I just thought, well, this is just part of it. I'll never forget, a friend of mine came over and he was like, why is one of your legs a different color than the other leg? I think that we all have resilience within us and it's just our ability to tap into that so we can, you know, decide to take action and thrive. So it's so important to invest in yourself by connecting with the right people, whether that's hiring a coach or getting into the right rooms and conferences. My guest today is Amber Lee Lago. When Amber was 38 years old,

she was hit by an SUV while riding her Harley Davidson motorcycle, thrown 30 feet onto the pavement, nearly bled to death and only survived because a good Samaritan saw her accident, rushed over and tied a tourniquet around her leg. She went into a coma and when she woke up for it, she learned that she had a 1% chance of saving her leg from being amputated and then had 34 surgeries to save her leg from being amputated, and then had 34 surgeries to save her leg from being amputated. If that wasn't enough, after her accident, she was diagnosed with an incurable nerve disease, dubbed the suicide disease, lost her business, fell into a deep depression, and became an alcoholic. Today, Amber Lee is a peak performance coach, TEDx speaker, top 1% podcast host, motivational speaker, and a leading expert in the field of

resilience, transformation, and health and wellness. She is also the best-selling author of the book True Grit and Grace and is also the founder of Unstoppable Life Mastermind. Amberlee, you have an incredible story and it's a true pleasure to have you on my show. Welcome to In Search of Excellence. Oh my goodness. Thank you so much. And thank you for that introduction. I think that that introduction basically shows anybody that you can hit roadblocks and rock bottom and still climb out of it and have a thriving life. And so thank you so much for that introduction. You're born and raised in Texas. You're a dancer from a young age and your mom pushed you hard on

the dance front to the point where your toes would often be bleeding after practice. Can you tell us about the influence your mom had on your life and her three mottos, get her done, suck it up, and hide your crazy to be a lady? And in today's world, where parenting styles are very different than they were 20 years ago, is this what parents should be telling their kids? Well, that's such a great question. First of all, actually, my mom wasn't my dance teacher, but she was such an amazing mom, and I think she is an amazing mom. And I think she put me into dance class because she thought it was a girly thing to do because

I was such a tomboy. And I had a dance instructor who I'm still in contact with to this day. Her name's Jackie, Miss Jackie. We call her Miss Jackie. We always say Miss, Miss Jackie. And yeah, she was really hard on me. But also, yeah, growing up in Texas where we had sayings like, you know, I mean, I remember, you know, having this frizzy, curly hair and my mom trying to brush it out and say,

you know, I'd be crying from her brushing my curls out and she'd say it hurts to be pretty. And in church, her pinching me if I ever said anything or did anything. and she'd say, it hurts to be pretty. And in church, her pinching me, if I ever said anything or did anything, and she's like, hide your crazy and be a lady, you know? So those things, and my dance teacher was always like, keep going. You need to push through the pain. Just keep going, suck it up, like cowgirl up. And so I grew up with a lot of those sayings. And I think that it is important. I mean, I've got two children of my own. I've got a daughter who is actually just turned 27 and she's going, she's in medical school at Yale. And I have a sophomore in high school here in

Texas. And she is got a lot of grit. She's a horseback rider. She gets thrown off that horse actually just happened, uh, yesterday and gets back on. Um, and so I think it's really important to instill, uh, the grit and the resilience in our children. But I think that it's not so good to instill this idea of grit that means suck it up. I think that it's grit with connection and community is where we find resilience and asking for help. And that's something that I didn't really know how to do or what to do. And it's changed my life. And so that's what I've learned along my journey

is like, it's not about sucking it up and stuffing it down because those feelings will eventually have to rise to the surface and we heal what we reveal. We're going to get to your dancing and running hobbies in a minute. But before we do, can you tell us what you were like as a kid in high school? Were you one of those always positive and optimistic people who always smiled and had a lot of friends and who thought their future was bright and that the world is your oyster? Yes, absolutely. And I think that when you're going through a hard time, because as a child, I didn't have the, I mean, most of us don't have the perfect childhood. Let's face it. We have parents that get divorced. We, a lot of people suffer physical sexual abuse. I experienced both

sexual abuse from my stepfather after my parents divorced, physical abuse from my older brother. And what I did, I think it's so, so important for parents to know that children need an outlet because I think that me having an outlet saved my life. I really do. And so my outlet was dance and athleticism. And I dove deep into what can I do that makes me feel better. And so I didn't really feel safe at home. It was scary, unpredictable. And so what I did was I focused on what I could do, and that was get great grades in school. I become a high achiever. I became an honor roll student. I was Miss Greenville High School.

I became, I was in the drill team. I choreographed for the drill team. I choreographed for acapella. I choreographed for the drama team. I choreographed for, I mean, anything that had to do with anything about if they needed something choreographed, I was their girl. And not only for that, it was like other schools too. I became an entrepreneur and I started coming up with dance routines that I could then sell to drill teams at other Texas schools because drill team is huge in Texas.

I don't know if any of y'all are listening or like, what is drill team? Drill team is huge in Texas. And it's like halftime at football games when you come out and you do a kick line and you do a, a, um, uh, a dance routine. And so I became the choreographer. I work, I ended up working four jobs by the time I was a senior in high school. I had four steady jobs and I was able to save up enough money because I knew I wanted to get out of there, move to LA and make something of my life. And the only way I was going to do that was if I worked and I saved up the money myself and I did it myself. And so I think it's really important for us to listen to our children and be there for our children, but not enable them and not give them everything, like show the importance of,

of, of working for something, which, you know what, Randall, I'm not so good at. Like, you know, I got two daughters and I'm like, man, I want them to have everything that I didn't have. I want to give it to them because I had to work so hard and I was so stressed out. And there's like a fine line between, okay, what do you give them and what do you make them work for? The advent of technology changes things for all of us, especially in many cases for people with physical disabilities. And the story that you just told is a great one. It happens in so many other areas of our lives as well. Yeah. Well, I think your son and my daughter have to meet. My daughter is a car fanatic. She literally texts me new cars that she wants to build or that, Ruby. Yeah. Won't you get a job?

And then we'll talk about building your whatever it is car that you want to build. But I love that she is passionate about cars. Like she knows exact. I think it's so important for our kids to have these passions where they can express themselves and they can like look in and research. And she's so passionate about like, she knows exactly how fast the car from can go from, you know,

she'll be like, Oh, this car can go from zero to 60 and 1.2 seconds or whatever. I'm like, where do you, how's this in your head? You know what I mean? But I'm glad that she's passionate about it. Let's talk about the importance of mentors in our life. You had two, you had your dance coach and your track coach. And when you were running track in the Texas, 100 degree heat, huge humidity there, you would often run around the track and you would throw up and then you would continue to run

around the track and you would throw up and then you would continue to run around the track. What lessons did your mentors teach you when you were growing up and how did they affect your life? And do we need mentors to be successful in our lives? Absolutely. We need mentors. I still I've had a mentor for everything that I've done in my life. And I think that if you want to time collapse your goals, if you want to get from point A to point B faster, you need a mentor. You need somebody that you can truly trust, but who has been there and done the things that you want to do. And they have succeeded

or gotten to the other side or they have that experience. There's a lot of, I think, I don't know what you think, but I think there's a lot of people out there that say that they're experts in something, but I think that it's up to us to really do the research and find out and really seek counsel and not opinion. So what I mean by that is like opinion is like for instance when I wanted to write my book I was like you know I think I want to write a book and I told some family members and close friends and they were like you're crazy you don't own a computer you're the fitness girl you don't have a college education you need to stick to the fitness stuff and when I went to a that was their opinion because they had never written a book. So

how would they be able to advise me on next steps to write a book? When I went to someone who had published 76 books, he's like, I think it's a great idea. This is what you'll need to do and do this, this, and this, and you're going to get it done. And I thought that is counsel. And so I hired him to be my mentor for a while. And I say hired because there are some people that are mentors that will do it and they'll just mentor you and they don't charge you. And I've had coaches that I've paid and I've, I've been a part of masterminds, I think that whatever, you know, you can find the value, it will be so beneficial and it can really, in the long run, help you to waste money. Because without a mentor, I wasted a lot of money because I was just trying to figure things out on my own.

But I was so blessed in the very beginning. I was so blessed to have a dance teacher and a track coach who at the time I was like, man, why are they so hard on me? They're harder on me than they are with anybody else on the dance company or on the track team. And why is the coach every track meet? She's makes me sit in the front of the bus with her. And she sits there and talks to me every, what a blessing that was. I didn't realize it at the time. The reason my dance teacher was hard on me is because she knew I had potential and she wanted to push me to my limits, past my limits, to keep going forward. She knew I had it in me. My track coach, she knew. She was like, hey, we're depending on you to get us to district.

And she would train me mentally and physically and have me sit at the front of the bus with her. And at the time, I didn't realize just how blessed I was looking back. I know how blessed I was. And so now to this day, when I have a mentor that's willing to take 10 minutes of their time with me and answer a question or hop on a call or give me some input or advice or make an introduction or connection. I know what a blessing that is. I think we all need mentors in our life. One of the most enjoyable things in my life, and it's part of the inspiration for my podcast,

is being able to mentor a lot of students and also people from in their careers from recent college graduates to professional athletes with $100 million contracts. And I love giving back. It's fun for me. And not only am I giving back, but I'm giving back to the people who gave me a chance and mentored me along the way. And I think it's important to pay it forward as well. I would not be the same person as I am today or the same professional that I think it's important to pay it forward as well. I would not be the same person as I am today or the same professional that I am today without the mentors that I've had. I think it's critical. I agree with you a hundred percent. Oh yeah. One hundred percent. I think mentors are just, and, and you know what, that's why I love doing what I do. I would say I get to do some amazing things. Like I am really blessed.

Like sometimes I go, wow, I can't believe I get paid to do some of the things that I do, like speaking all across the country at events where I'm like, I would, I mean, I just love being there. But the thing that I love the most is getting to be a mentor and guide several women in my Unstoppable Life Mastermind because I want to show them, hey, this is the mistake I did that cost me a lot of money. Don't do that. And this is what you can do that will help you get to point A to point B faster. And this is the connection that I can make for you. And, you know, just, just this past weekend, we had an in-person meetup where all these ladies gathered in my house, which was a big deal for my

husband because he's very private and he doesn't like people over, but he knows how much I love these women. And he was like knows how much I love these women. And he was like, I know you love these women. So of course, yeah, have them over. But when you can come together with like-minded people and you can have a mentor that can guide you, it is life changing. It's career changing. It is, it's unbelievable.

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months ago when I was invited to the first one, what is a mastermind? And are they all as cracked up as they say they are? The one that I went to promised a whole bunch of things. It ended up for me being a couple of successful guys trying to sell investments to a large group of people. Oh, see, I am so glad you're bringing this up because I've been to some – I've wasted a lot of money on some too. Like thousands and thousands of dollars, and that's why I was inspired to tell our viewers and listeners what, what it is. Okay. So a mastermind is supposed to be a small group of like-minded people that help brainstorm, collaborate, and guide each other and, uh, you know, to really level up their life and their business. Um, to me, a mastermind is not, you know, hundreds of people, I guess some people think it is, but to me, a mastermind, I'll give you my definition of a mastermind because I spent a lot, wasted. No, I won't say wasted because I learned a lot of lessons and it's, it inspired me to really develop the mastermind where they were like, yeah, this is high level female entrepreneurs, blah, blah, blah.

They're just the elite. And I get on the first Zoom and it's over 150 people on Zoom of everyone that this lady has ever coached. And there were beginning coaches. There were people that didn't even have social media yet, didn't even have a website. And look, we all start from somewhere. And I appreciate that. Believe me, I appreciate it because I started from nothing and had to build my way up. But when you're paying thousands and you're being told that you're going to be put in a group with people who are already to that level, they actually already have their website. They have their social media. They have a following. They have big dreams, goals, plans, and you get on at something different. That was the last time I went to one meeting, never went back. Another one I spent $50,000 on.

It was $50,000. And so people know what we're talking about. These are basically, there's, I guess, call it the captain, originator, founder, CEO, for lack of a better person, who creates a mastermind. They have some following. They're well-known in an area. They could be a leadership person. They have some following. They're well known in an area. They could be a leadership person. They could have written five books. They could be talking

about entrepreneurship, real estate, whatever the topic is, successful women, successful men. And they invite people to a location and charge them lots of money to hear them speak and a group of successful, like-minded people speaking. So if it's a real estate mastermind, you've got four or five or six successful people who are all talking, but you pay to go. And some of these are very expensive. I mean, $50,000 is a ton of money. And I'm sure the people who are producing that make a lot of money. I mean, you host a mastermind for 100 people and you charge $100,000 each and people do this. And there's lots of these out there.

That person is making $10 million less whatever they're spending to produce the event. And maybe they have Mike Tyson come in and speak or some athlete or Steph Curry. But these are very profitable gatherings that a lot of people, they're everywhere. And as you get into the self-help movement, they're all over the place. So, sorry, I just wanted- And they make promises. They do.

And they make promises. And this is the thing that gets me is they over-promise and they under-deliver. And so for me, the most important thing for me is integrity and honesty. Like trust is a big thing. My name is like what I say I've worked hard to build the brand that I have with the trust. And so I thought when I have a mastermind, I'm not going to do that. Like I just got off a call yesterday where I told the person, I was like, Hey, yeah, you, you get your your monthly coaching session and you get your weekly,

you know, zoom coaching sessions with the group, I was like, but you have my number. I was like, call me, text me. If you need me, that's why I'm there. I'm there for you. It's not because I care about you. And so that was a big difference for me is like I want to be there for them, but then I also teach them, have experts come in

and then I put them on a stage and I shine the light on them. So I get them an opportunity to be seen on stage. So what's the name of your mastermind? How do they find it? And how much does it cost? It's called the Unstoppable Life Mastermind. And you can find it at, actually you can go to truerentongrace.com. You can find all of my events at amberleelago.com forward slash events. But yeah, you can apply to be in the mastermind. And I actually like jump on a call with people to see if, you know, how I can help. And if, if it's a good fit, um, and people are always so surprised when they're like, oh my gosh, it's really you getting on the call. And I'm like, well, yeah, cause I want to see if you're a

good fit. Cause we're going to be family. We're basically going to be together a whole lot. So I want to make sure our energy matches and it's a good fit. And so I have to tell you something funny. I actually launched the Unstoppable Life Mastermind. I will never forget this because it was March 16th, 2020. And we were in LA and, you know, being in LA, like the 14th, 15th, everybody was kind of going crazy in 2020 and like, oops, things are starting to close down. And it was my birthday on March 16th. And Johnny, my husband was like, oh, well I already called the restaurant and they're going to be open. And I said, Johnny, I think things are starting to close down. He goes, nope, nope. I called them.

It's confirmed. We're going to dinner. We were going to the Sunset Room, you know, where Zuma is. I love that place. Anyway, I wake up the next day, all the gyms are closed. All the restaurants are closed. And I was like, oh, I am launching something called the Unstoppable Life Mastermind and the world has basically stopped. And my husband was like, you can't launch that. The world has shut down. And I was like, no, I'm not stopping. I'm launching it. And I did it. And it has grown and grown. And now we do bigger events annually. And so, you know, there are ways to be unstoppable. And I think the secret to that is when you have a community

that you can connect with and you can come together with and you can do it together. I think it's great you have your own mastermind. I don't have a mastermind yet. I will have one at some point in the future. I do do a lot of coaching and I've always done it gratuitously to give back. I have had a number of people reach out to me, podcast listeners, social media followers, while I coach them on a

personal basis. I've done it. It does cost a lot of money. It's been worth it for all of my mentees, but I think it's great. It's another way to give back. I'm also going to be similar to you doing some paid corporate speaking, uh, starting in Q1 of next year that I'm super excited about bringing my message to more people and helping corporations, uh, think about a new way to prepare and succeed. But we'll talk about that a little later. Awesome. Yeah. I'm very excited about it. Um, congratulations. That is awesome. Thank you.'m very excited about it. Congratulations. That is awesome. Thank you. Let's go back to fitness and take us back.

You saved money to move out to LA. You became a trainer. You started training people to become trainers. And then you tore your meniscus. Can you just walk us through what happened? And how important is it for us to be in shape so when something does go wrong and I'm not talking about getting hit on your motorcycle but I'm talking about a knee injury an arm injury you think about Patrick Mahomes I don't know if you saw the special on Netflix about quarterbacks or and Kirk Cousins what they do who unfortunately just tore his ACL. But being in shape really matters. It helps

when things go wrong physically to your body. You did some amazing things to the point where you didn't even need knee surgery anymore. Yeah. Well, you know what? It's really hard when your whole identity is caught up in your physicality. I mean, my whole identity from the time I was young was, you know, I started, like I said, started working at age 13, started teaching dance. And then I was doing modeling and was getting booked as a dancer. And actually my biggest fear was doing something to like blow out my knee and not be able to dance. And sure enough, that's what happened. And I was scheduled to have knee surgery and I started going to the gym and rehabbing myself. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I was just doing what I could to try to get stronger. Like I didn't have the money or insurance to hire somebody to help me.

I was like living on my own in LA. But I noticed that the more I went to the gym, the better I felt, not just physically, but mentally as well. And lo and behold, my knee felt better. And I called and I canceled my meniscus surgery and I never had that meniscus surgery and I thought wow you know if I can help myself and do this for me imagine all the other people that I could help and I think because I had started I've always loved working with people I've always loved helping people and started teaching dance at a young age.

Then I thought, well, maybe I could get certified to be a trainer. And so I went to school, got certified to be a trainer, and I started training clients. And then I loved it so much. I thought, you know what? Other people can do this. Let me show other people how to do this. Let me show other people how to do this. And so I started a whole six week training course where I did six weeks worth of training, where I helped people understand everything they needed to know to get certified, to be a trainer. And then six weeks of, uh, them shadowing me on the

gym floor, um, to learn how to be a trainer on the gym floor. But, and then six weeks of me teaching them how to run their business as a trainer. But also I was able to pick from those people who took my course, the best of the best that were taking the course. And I was like, oh yeah, I for sure want Sid. I want Shannon. I want Greg. I want them to work for me because they are great trainers. They're great people. They're, they're, they're go-getters. And so by having this course and helping other people to become trainers, it was wonderful. And I could help people, you know, get certified, but then I could also take the people that I felt were the best and I could use them, employ them to start working with me. And we built a team that way. You became a successful trainer. Things were going well.

You're in LA for 20 years, enjoying yourself. Tell us about the day you were hit and thrown on your motorcycle, exactly what happened. And can you also tell us what you remembered at that exact moment about what your grandfather had told you many years earlier in your life as you were lying on the pavement, potentially facing death? Well, yeah. And, and, you know, in fact, actually I remember leaving the gym, it was a holiday weekend and my friend Tina, who I hadn't seen in years, and she just came to visit me here in Texas. And she was the last person that I saw as I was getting on my motorcycle. And I remember putting my helmet on and she looked at me across the parking lot and she said, be careful. And I said, oh, I will. And I, you know, jumped on my Harley and I'm cruising down Ventura Boulevard. And as a motorcyclist, you learn to drive defensively,

meaning that you are looking to make sure that other people see you. And so you can stay out of danger. And I remember seeing this one guy that was stopped, ready to make a left turn onto Ventura. And I thought, okay, he sees me. And then he punched it out of the driveway. And I thought, oh, wow, he doesn't see me. And it was too late. I didn't have any other choice but to just like try to jump off my,

let go of my clutch, try to jump off my bike. I was T-boned, thrown 30 feet and I was sliding across the asphalt, which seemed like forever. And when I finally came to a stop, I looked down and my leg was just crumbled into pieces. I didn't realize it at the time, but the reason there was so much blood is my femoral artery was actually severed. And luckily, you know, I had a guardian angel, a guy that came over and make it, he made a tourniquet on my leg right away. He ripped off his belt and made a tourniquet on my leg and people weren't rushing over to me though. They were looking at me. One lady fainted. And in that moment I was screaming and I did not want to let go of my leg because I was afraid it would actually fall off of my body.

I felt like my legs were the only thing holding my leg on. And one of the first things I thought actually was, wow, this can't be good. I might have to train clients on crutches. So even, yeah, even in this moment, I was like, okay, how am I going to keep working? Like, how am I going to train my clients? What am I going to do? And that was one of my first thoughts was I might have to train clients on crutches for a while. And then, you know, rush to the hospital, put an induced coma, wake up from a coma. And I learned I've got a 1% chance of saving my leg from amputation. And I'm like, okay, well, great.

There's a 1% chance. Then you're saying there's a chance. Then let's find a doctor who's going to take that 1% chance with me. Thanks for telling me there's a chance. And I asked for my phone, like immediately when I got out of a coma, I asked for my phone because I was calling clients being transported from one ICU unit to another hospital. And I was on the phone with clients assuring them, Hey, I might be in ICU right now, but I'm going to get out of here. And third quarter, we are going to finish strong. Don't you worry. You know what I mean?

It was like such a like, I don't know if that's an entrepreneurial mindset or just freaking crazy or what. But those were the things going through my head was how can I keep my business running? How, because to me, saving my leg, saving my business was just as important as saving my leg. And so, um, I've come to some hard realizations of our health is the most important thing, you know, and I had a good friend of mine tell me, she goes, Amberlee, you push yourself so hard and your impact is only as strong as you are healthy. And that really got me. So now it's like, okay, I need to make sure I'm healthy. I'm taking care of myself mentally, spiritually, physically,

so I can help other people and take care of other people. But I think also in that moment, being able to have a purpose and be of service to others when I was struggling through surgery after surgery, which seemed it ended up being 34 surgeries in total. That purpose is what helped me pull through some of the hardest times. Did you think as you were laying on that pavement and you saw all the blood that you may die? I didn't think I was going to die until, I mean, I was in extreme pain. I've had two babies with, like I had my first child, not even a Tylenol, like all natural.

Like my wife did that too. My wife did that too. I, I, it's, it's unbelievable. Um, so I, I, I didn't feel it, but I saw it and I heard it. It was crazy. Yeah. And that was a piece of cake compared to the pain that I experienced laying in the middle of the road on Ventura Boulevard. And I did not really think I was going to die. I was like in such survival mode, I think. But when I thought I was going to die actually is when I got to the hospital and the ER room was completely chaotic. And my husband being a cop, news travels fast in the police, the brotherhood and sisterhood of the police force. And so the whole ER was filled with cops. And I heard this crying like I'd never heard before. And I realized it was my husband. Now he's a big, strong guy. I'd never seen him cry.

And he was crying. And in that moment, I thought, oh my God, I think I might be dying. And I yelled across the room. I said, honey, I need you to get over here and be strong for me. Because in that moment, I didn't know, like if I was going to live and I needed to know if I did not survive, that he was going to be able to pull it together for our two daughters. That's crazy. So you said before that you remember it as you're lying on the pavement, something that your grandfather had said about a shovel. What was that? Well, I think that it's something my grandfather was such an incredible man. He used to say, you've got a shovel in your hand. You can lean on it and pray for a hole or you can start digging. And that was his way of saying, yes, it's important to pray. And it's important to, you know, like there's so many people out there like just

manifest it. Just think about it. Put it on your vision board. And my grandfather was old school. He's like, yeah, you can pray about it, but no, you got to work for it too. So take the action. And so I knew my whole life, and especially through this accident, like if I wanted to learn to walk again, if I was going to work again, if I was going to have the life that I always imagined, that I was going to have to dig deep and work for it. for every beach in the world, more than 100,000 beaches in 212 countries. Sandy.com provides beach goers around the world with detailed, comprehensive, and easy-to-use information to help them plan their perfect beach getaway at home and abroad and to make sure you're never disappointed by a beach visit again.

Plan the perfect beach trip today by visiting Sandy.com. That's www.sandee.com. The link is in our show notes. Stay sandy, my friends. There's a great part of the story, which you haven't talked about that much in some of the podcasts you've done, but there was a good Samaritan that came over and saved your life. And when I was reading that, I thought about this so many times because there's so many stories about bad things happening to people and people just watch. Right. In today's day and age, they don't want to. Especially now. Right. And in L.A.

They don't. First of all, they don't want to get sued. They think someone else has got this. They're in shock. They don't want to be bothered. And and they don't know what to do. Do you know the name of the person who saved your life? I don't. Isn't that amazing? I so wish I do. And, you know, so he came over right away and I honestly, I don't even remember his face because I was, I was rolled over. I was on my left side and I was on laying on my left side, holding on to my right leg. And he came up behind me. And then luckily there was a nurse that, that came up and everybody else was just standing around. Like nobody wanted to come near me. I

guess it looked pretty gruesome. Look, I can, I can imagine. I mean, there was blood everywhere and I looked down at my leg once and saw how like crumpled into pieces and deformed. And it's crazy to look. I mean, my foot was dangling off of my leg, only attached by skin. And so there was a nurse that came over and she was like, you need to hold my hands. You need to look at me and breathe. And she did. She had me breathe kind of like you do in Lamaze. And I would breathe a little bit and then I'd cuss. And she's like, nope, breathe, breathe. So I didn't really, like, I couldn't turn around and look at him who saved my life, basically. And all these years, I would love to know who that was. And then there was one other lady that came over and both the nurse and that other lady that came over later went to see me in the hospital when I got out of surgery, got out of a coma.

They came to see me and brought me food. I want to talk about chronic pain, which is something people don't often talk about because other serious diseases like cancer and heart disease are life-threatening. And treating them often means the difference between life and death. But let's look at some statistics. During 2021, an estimated 20.9% of U.S. adults, 51.6 million people, experienced chronic pain. Chronic pain is substantially more common in the U.S. than diabetes, depression, high blood pressure, and it is the number one reason that people go out on long-term disability. You were diagnosed with something called chronic regional pain syndrome.

Can you talk about that and the effect it's had on your life and all the different medications you've had, the 73 homeopathic medications and the 11 prescriptions you've been on to try to treat this? Yeah. I mean, I was, you know, after my accident, I was still in so much pain and I just thought, well, this is just part of it. And, you know, eventually it'll get better, but the pain seemed to be getting worse. And I'll never forget a friend of mine came over and he was like, why is one of your legs a different color than the

other leg? And it was, one of my legs was almost like a purplish brown compared to the other leg. And I thought, well, I said kind of defensively, well, because it's healing. And I was told that it would take me a long, long time to be able to walk, two years probably to be able to get up and walk again. And it was about four and a half months after my accident. And I was very proud to be upright on crutches already. It hurt like hell. And at first I could only stand up for moments at a time because there was such pain. But I remember thinking, I've got this doctor's appointment and that's my goal to be able to go to that doctor's appointment, not in a wheelchair, but on crutches to show him that I'm healing. I'm doing better. I'm going to be walking soon.

And I walk into that appointment and he takes one look at me and like runs out of the office. And I looked at my husband and I was like, well, that's not the reaction I was hoping for. And he comes back in and he examined me and he says, you've got something very serious. And I looked at my husband and I was like, well, that's not the reaction I was hoping for. And he comes back in and he examined me and he says, you've got something very serious. And I was kind of like, well, yeah, I got hit by an SUV. And he goes, no, you have an incurable nerve disease. It's called complex regional pain syndrome. Actually, back then it was called reflex sympathetic dystrophy or RSD. Since then, they now call it,

um, CRPS. And, um, I'm like, okay, well, what's that? And he goes, well, it's a disease of your sympathetic nervous system. You're going to always be in pain for the rest of your life. There's no known cure. You are going to be permanently disabled. You are never going to walk again, never going to work again. You need to go home and get back in your wheelchair. And I was like, back in my wheelchair for how long? And he's like, forever. And I felt like this can't be right. This can't be my life. And I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. And I remember crying all the way home. And when I got home, I did not get back in my wheelchair. Instead, I went to straight to physical therapy and my physical therapist was like, Amberlee, what are you doing here? You don't

have an appointment today. And I said, I know I don't, but I've just learned something. And if I want to have the life that I've always imagined, then I'm going to have to work harder than I've ever worked before. And I did not know how hard that was going to be because it has been very difficult. I mean, yes, I was trying every kind of medical treatment and still do actually. I'm flying to Costa Rica next month to try a new medical treatment. I tried everything though, ketamine infusions, spinal stimulator, where they put metal leads into your back, spinal blocks, spinal radiofrequency, which the side effect of that is you can be paralyzed. But I'm like, okay, what the hell?

Living this constant chronic pain that's ranked highest on the pain scale or risk, you know, getting out of pain and being paralyzed. And I chose let's risk being paralyzed to get out of this pain. It was that bad. And, um, in fact, to the point where about a year after, uh, my accident, I was diagnosed, I went into my doctor and I was like, you know what? I appreciate, Dr. Wiss, that you've done all these surgeries, that you've done 34 surgeries to save my leg, but it's given me too much pain. It's deformed. It doesn't work properly. It just leaves me in constant chronic pain.

I hate it. We need to just cut it off. And he goes, you can't do that. It could make the nerve disease spread um it could make it worse like that's not a solution and it was in that moment that everything changed because I had to get in complete acceptance like this is it these are the cards I've been dealt and it's up to me to figure out how to play the hell out of these cards. And so I had to change the way I ate, my mindset, the way I worked out, everything. I have, I've had to change everything from how I plan things from whether I'm flying

to go speak at an event. I can't just hop on a plane and go speak at an event and get there and go speak on stage. And I've got all the energy. No, I have to get there the day before, let the nerve disease kind of calm down and what it feels like. So people ask me what it feels like. And I actually don't even like to talk about what it feels like that often, because when I talk about it and I focus on it, it makes it worse and I can actually start to feel it more. But I will tell you what it feels like is it feels like, so I have CRPS in my right leg. Some people get it in their wrists. Some people get it in both legs. Some

people get it full body. Luckily mine has not spread anywhere except for my right leg. And it's mostly in my foot that has the least amount of damage. And what it feels like is if you could imagine like to me, like a vice grip that is on my foot and you're just cranking that vice grip and you're just squeezing it tighter and tighter and tighter till it wants to implode and like battery acid going through your veins. Thanks for listening to part one of my amazing conversation with Amberly Lago. Be sure to tune in next week to part two of my awesome conversation with Amberly.