In Search Of Excellence - Damon West: If We Lose Hope, We Lose All | E52

Episode Date: March 14, 2023

Welcome to Part 2 of my amazing episode of In Search of Excellence featuring Damon West, a man with an astonishing life story. He was a former meth addict and head of an organized crime ring, sentenced to life in prison for his crimes.Today, he is a college professor at the University of Houston, an exceptional motivational speaker, and a best-selling author. His story is one of the most incredible and fascinating stories I’ve ever heard.In this episode, we’ll hear about his prison experience, life after prison, and the importance of never giving up and losing hope! Tune in for more!(00:37) Prison experience6 weeks in prisonSports in prison is a big deal (no mixed-race teams)Basketball court (getting on all-black teams)Adversity is never as bad as you thinkYou are more capable than you think you areNo more violence(07:58) Mental health and suicidal thoughtsPrison is a very predatory environmentSuicidal thoughts in prisonChurch service and a personal talk with Miss DA secret to faithIf we lose hope, we lose allMovie mention: Shawshank RedemptionMessage to people suffering in their own mind(19:54) After prisonGetting out of prisonWorking in a law firmMeeting 8 best coaches in the US (rejected by everyone but the 8th conversation!)Presentation in Clinton, AlabamaA message from the director of football operations in AlabamaA call from John Gordon, the motivational speakerWriting a book “Coffee Bean”(27:50) The importance of preparation for successPreparation is everythingYou have to put in the work and take action3-5 elements one needs to be successful(30:44) The importance of giving backExtremely importantHelping children of incarcerated parentsGetting MA in criminal justiceProfessor at the University of Huston and teaching at Prisons in America (34:00) Fill in the blanksDamon’s biggest lesson in lifeDamon’s #1 professional goalDamon’s #1 personal goalDamon’s biggest regretDamon’s biggest dream for the futureSponsors:Sandee | Bliss: BeachesWant to Connect? Reach out to us online!Website | Instagram | LinkedIn

No one can put in your work for you. No one can. You have to take action in your own life. No one can take your action for you. These are the things you have to do every single day. And if you don't do it, no one's going to do it for you. You'll never know what you could be in life or never get ahead if you're not willing to put in the work. And that is the preparation part.

People want to talk about this thing called the overnight success. There's no such thing, Randall, because life is a long time to live. People don't see what you do, Randall. They don't see you get up early in the morning for years and years and years to get this life you have today. They just see the glitz and the glamour of it and they want that. You got to do one to put in the work. I'm speechless because the story is amazing. I can't imagine mentally going into prison thinking I'm going to get the shit kicked out of me every day to protect my body, to protect what happened in the shower, to protect all these things. I have a good friend who went to prison for doing something stupid. In a lot of cases,

people just make one mistake and do something stupid and there they go. They ruin their life. This guy has a family, his kids, doing a 10 10 year sentence. It's going to miss his whole kid's childhood. It's very sad. Take us through one day you're playing hoops and what happened out there and how that also changed your experience in prison. Six weeks into prison, Randall. This is a great question you're asking because this is going to play into a lot of what I think culturally goes on in this country. And I think this is something everybody can take with them, no matter who you are, what race you are, whatever. Six weeks into prison. It took me, first of all, it took me two weeks to get through the white gangs.

They tapped out after that. And they sent the black gangs out. Just like Jackson said it would be, Randall. And everything in that prison is about race. Six weeks weeks into prison I get up on a Monday morning the only thing I haven't used at this point is my athletic ability and remember from earlier we talked about how great of an athlete I was blessed to be growing up and and man sports in prison is a very big deal I've avoided the rec yard up to this point because the rec yard is one of the most intimidating places on the license bill. Man, that rec yard, Randall, every sport was segregated by the color

of your skin. Mr. Jackson said prison was all about race. The dude was spot on. That rec yard, the most segregated place I've ever seen before or since. Every sport by the color of your skin. Sand volleyball. Whites and Hispanics only. No blacks allowed. Handball. All the races can play handball. But if you wanted to play doubles or partner up with somebody to play a game, your partner had to be the same skin color as you.

You couldn't mix the races out there. The weight set. Same thing. Just like you see in prison movies. Everybody in prison wants to push that iron. Everybody wants to lift weights. And all the races can lift weights. But you want someone to spot you, someone to work out with you,

your partner, your spotter has to be the same skin color as you. You can't mix the races out there. You can't even sit down and eat a meal on the license building with someone of a different race. You can't sit at a table with someone of a different race and break bread. That's how serious race is out there. That Monday morning, six weeks into prison, I faced my fears. Remember, Jackson says, fears aren't real, but danger is real. I faced my fears and some real danger that Monday morning. I go out to the rec yard. I passed up all those sports that day and I headed straight to the basketball court. Now, Randall, who do you think runs that basketball court?

I'll tell you. It's the blacks. It's the brothers. And they run it. No white boys allowed at the basketball court. But I grew up in Port Arthur, man. I've been the only white guy on the basketball court many times growing up. I've got to get myself in this game.

The problem is, because of the color of my skin, I can't get involved in a basketball game. But, man, I've been watching these guys play for a couple weeks. And after every game they play, they're going to do this thing called shoot for teams. That means the first guy that makes a free throw gets to be a team captain. And they just keep going until two guys make a free throw. And so I've thought to myself, you know what? That's how I'm going to get to this game. So I'm watching this game on Monday morning playoff.

It's a lopsided game. One team is winning way over the other team. I get on the side of the court where I know the game's going to end. And, man, as soon as the last basketball goes to the last basket for the last point, that last shot, man, I went and lunged over there and I fell on that basketball and I wrapped it up like a fumble drill football. I come up and I got this basketball in my hand, and, man, the entire basketball court sucked up around me. Just to see

if angry black faces, and they are pissed, man. They're like, give us our ball back, white boy. Have you lost your mind? And Randall, my voice is squeaking and cracking. I'm like, man, I'm going to shoot a free throw today. I'm going to shoot my shot. Man, they're like, dude, we're going to kill you today. You're not shooting anything, man. You've lost your mind, white boy. Biggest dude out there, man. There's Blood from Houston named J Blood. J Blood gets up in my face. Now, J Blood's a massive dude, Randall. I think he's going to knock me out, but he's not getting this ball, man. I can't let this ball go. He gets up in my face. He says, you know what, white boy? He said, get up on the line and shoot your shot. He said, man, I hope you can make this basket, white boy. Man,

about that time, the basketball court parted. The free throw line appeared. Randall, the free throw line looked like the equator. Thing was huge, man. And I'm stepping up to this basket. This is just a basket, man. This is a normal free throw. But in your mind, this is where fear starts coming in. I've got to calm myself down. And one of the things I told myself right there, when I played college football, there was a coach. He said this sentence, the sentence always stuck with me. It was 20 letters, 10 words. It was one of the most powerful sentences I've ever heard in the English language. It was an action statement.

And he said this, he said, if it is to be, it is up to me. If it is to be, it is up to me. And man, I repeated that in my head, said a quick prayer, breathed in and breathed out, and I let my free throw go. Nothing but net. I'm a team captain, man. J-Blood steps up. J-Blood makes his shot. He's a team captain too. So we step back. We're going to pick our teams now. I'm going to pick my four guys. He's going to pick his four guys so we can play a little five on five, right? Wrong. It's nine on one, man. My old teammates don't want me out there. And this is basketball in the life sentence building of a maximum security penitentiary in Texas.

There is no referee out there. There's no saying there's a foul. You can punch, kick, scratch, bite, pull hair, whatever you want to do. There's no guard in the tower that can save you on this. You are on your own. I'm on an island out there. That first day, that Monday, I've got a black eye and a busted lip. But I survived. The next day, Tuesday morning, I look got a black eye and a busted lip, but I survived.

The next day, Tuesday morning, I look at myself in the mirror in the cell. I look like I've been hit by a truck. But you know what I like looking at? That guy in the mirror, because that guy in the mirror faced those fears yesterday. And it gave me the courage to go out there the next day. I tell people all the time, I do things I'm afraid of so I can do things I'm afraid of. The next day, I'm out there and I'm playing basketball with those guys. And man, they make sure I'm going to be on the court now at this point. They know

I'm coming back every day. They pick me first in every game. And Randall, I'm not first pick caliber in the basketball court, man. I'm like eighth or ninth pick. I'm really not that good in basketball, but these guys want to make sure I'm going to be out there because they're going to punish me. I learned two things about adversity that week on the rec yard. I learned that adversity is never as bad as you think it's going to be. And you are always capable of way more than you think you are. Because as human beings, we can allow overthinking to get in the way of overcoming. And that week on the rec yard, I overcame all of those fears. And after six days of playing basketball with those guys, it was on Saturday, Jay Blood comes up to me. The guys are circling around me after the game we played, rec was over.

Jay Blood says, you know what, white boy? He said, you pulled something off out here we had never seen anybody pull up before. He said, you took everything we had. You gave it back when you could, and that took guts, but you never once got racial with us the entire time. He said, listen, white boy, you don't have to worry about the blacks the rest of your prison. You're good with us. And that was it, man. The violence was finally over. The threat to my physical safety was gone. Like I said, I had to figure out how to be a coffee bean at that point because inside I was becoming the egg. Mental health is such an important issue in today's climate. People have been suffering for a long time. Used to be you didn't talk about it, but today you're hearing all these stories about kids killing themselves,

problems that people didn't know about. I have a very close friend whose son killed himself a couple of weeks ago, shot himself in the head, his funerals on Friday, no clue whatsoever as to why. Parents are beside themselves. Kid is a perfect kid. Never complained. Loved his parents. Gave him a hug every time they walked in the door. Never had a single bad moment with the family or friends. Was well-liked, worked, was in college. Did you ever think about committing suicide while you were in the cell thinking you're never going to get out? You've really fucked up your life forever. No one's going to like you. You have a life sentence. And what's your message to all the people out there who are really suffering mentally and are thinking about committing suicide?

Yeah, no, I did. And first of all, it's horrible what you just said i mean i've got a i've got a stepdaughter and it's it's horrible to even just i mean there's lots of different ways to be in prison randall physical prison is the easiest prison to get out of mental spiritual emotional prison the prison that your friends are probably in right now because of their son's suicide. That's the toughest kind of prison to be in. My hearts and prayers go out to them. That's horrible.

Did I think about killing myself? You bet. And it was right, it was the weekend before the basketball game, on that Monday morning when I went out to the rec yard. The Friday before that, I got jumped. I had been jumped by four guys. It was bad. I got my ass kicked really bad. And it broke me because that was the whole point of what they're trying to do.

They're trying to break you. And when they try to break you, they want to break down the person you are and they can use you up. And when I mean use you up in prison, I mean every sense of the word. Use a human being up. That is prison. That's a very predatorial environment. And Friday, before that basketball game in the rec yard, they broke me. I was done. Saturday morning, I woke up and I had my plan. I was going to go to church that Saturday morning. I was going to do Catholic mass that Saturday morning. And after mass, I was going gonna come back to my cell and hang myself and I already had it figured out I knew how to hang the sheet off the bed off the top bunk and so uh I go to go to the service in chapel service that

Saturday morning I'm standing there about 200 inmates just facing forward I get a tap on my shoulder and I look down and the tap on my shoulder. And I looked down and the tap on my shoulder is this volunteer chaplain named Ms. D. Doucette. Ms. D. is about 80 something years old, little bitty lady with a cane, like Yoda. And she hits you with the cane. Ms. D. comes up to me that day. She taps me on the shoulder. She says, Mr. West, can you come to my office? I need to talk to you. So I'll go to her office with her in the middle of the church service. She sits me down in her office. She said, Mr. West, what's wrong with you today? I can see that something's bothering you. And immediately, Randall, I'm thinking to myself, how the hell does she know something's wrong?

I mean, I'm in a prison, man. Something's wrong with everybody inside here, right? We're all dealing with intense personal struggles. This is a prison. But she picks me. So I unload on Ms. D. I tell her everything that's going on. I'm crying. I break down and told her. I said, can't take it anymore, Ms. D. And I unload on Miss D. I tell her everything that's going on. I'm crying.

I break down and told her. I said, can't take it anymore, Miss D. And I'm going to check out. And I told her I was going to kill myself. Miss D was really calm. She said, you can't kill yourself, Mr. West. She said, because you can't give up on God. Man, the minute she mentioned God, I got so mad, Randall. I'm like, God?

What do you mean, God? How can God create I got so mad, Randall. I'm like, God? What do you mean God? How can God create a place so wicked and evil and sinister as this prison I'm sitting in right now? She's calm, completely calm. She says, you're not the first person to get angry with God, Mr. West. She said, the Bible's full of people that got angry with God. She said, but they all came back to God because they learned the secret to faith. And I'm like, Miss D, I really need to know what that secret is. She said, here it is.

She said, if you're going to pray, don't worry. And if you're going to worry, don't pray. She said, you can't have it both ways. She said, you're either going to let God do his job or you're going to try to do his job for him. She said, you're going to let God drive the car or you're going to drive the car. She said, the last time you drove it, you parked it inside of a maximum security prison. So choose who gets those keys today, but choose wisely. She tells me what she's learned about suicide over the years because she is in a maximum security prison.

A lot of men kill themselves in a prison environment like that. She said what she learned about suicide is that when you subscribe to a world that is seemingly hopeless, and she said seemingly is the key word because nothing is ever truly hopeless as long as you have faith, right? She said, but when you get sucked into the seemingly hopeless world, you can't see the realities of the world around you. You get into an unreal place where there's no hope. And when you live in a place where there's no hope, anything, including suicide, is a viable option. And that's what she's doing that day. She's pulling me out of this seemingly hopeless world.

Because, Randall, human beings have to have hope. If we lose hope, we lose it all. You ever seen the movie Shawshank, Randall? Amazing movie. One of my favorite. Great. Great movie. So right now I'm in the process of working on trying to turn the Change Agent,

my life story, into a Netflix limited series or whoever buys it. It's going to be a three-season type deal with a screenwriter, amazing screenwriter out there in L.A. where you are. His name is David Aaron Cohen. David Aaron Cohen, he wrote Friday Night Lights. He wrote The American Underdog, the Kurt Warner movie. So we were talking about, you know, like Shawshank. And I was like, hey, you know, when I watch Shawshank, I don't think a lot of people watch Shawshank and they think it's a movie by Andy Dufresne, which is OK.

It's a correct answer. There's no right or wrong answer here. But when I watch Shawshank, I don't think it's a movie about Andy Dufresne. Red's character is narrating this thing. Morgan Freeman's character is narrating, and he's talking about this guy, Andy Dufresne, Tim Robbins' character. But now that I've been in prison, when I watch Shawshank, I don't think the story is about Andy Dufresne at all. I think it's Red's story, Morgan Freeman's character. And here's why.

Because Red is dead. Red was long ago a dead man inside that prison because he gave up hope. He lost hope, Randall. He had no hope anymore. Remember when Brooks got out of prison after like 50 years and he goes out and he lasts about two weeks and he hangs himself. He writes a letter back to the boys in Shawshank to tell them that he couldn't make it out there. Red turns to Andy and he tells Andy, I'm an institutional man, Andy. I don't think I can make it out there either. He even says to Andy, he says the words, hope is a dangerous

thing. That's why I know this is Red's story because when you feel like hope is a dangerous thing. That's why I know this is Red's story. Because when you feel like hope is a dangerous thing, you're in a very bad place. But what did Andy tell Red? Andy told Red, get busy living or get busy dying. And that's what Red did. He got busy living. Red's telling the story about this guy named Andy Dufresne that came to Shawshank Prison and saved his life. Saved the lives of a lot of other

men. Because even after Andy escaped, what did they do? They sit around all day and told stories about Andy. It's Red's story. It's Red's story about the guy that saved his life because he brought hope back to Red's life. Let's come back to the suicide question that I presented you before. We're talking about people that are older in general. You're in prison. You've lived a life, hardened criminals. Once they get there, talk to me. What's your advice to the people out there who have never been to prison, who are suffering in their own mind and are not in extremely difficult physical positions, but are in very

difficult mental positions? What's your message to them? If you had one minute or less to talk to them, speak to them right now as if they were right in front of you. Well, you have to give up this idea of control. This is the biggest thing for me to get where I am today, this idea of control. We don't control many things in life. In fact, there's only four things you control, Brandon. You control what you think, control what you say, and you do control what you feel. What I mean is, do you tell people about your feelings? Do you talk about what's going on inside you? And lastly, you control what

you do. These are your actions. These are the things that you do that people see. What you think, what you say, what you feel, and what you do. That's really the only four things you have control over. If you will give up the other control of all that's going on around you because you can't change that, you will start to gain back your sanity and your sense of proportion in the world around you. Your sense of proportion is everything. Because we are disproportionate as people when we feel like we control those other things. And when we feel like we control those other things and we can't do anything with it, it beats us down. And we get this feeling of hopelessness. And the other thing I would tell them is like,

once you've stepped back and you start applying your time to things you can actually change, because your time, most precious resource you have, once it's gone, it's gone for good. All the money in the world won't buy one more second of that stuff called time. Once we are focused on the things we can control, we have to be able to apply perspective to the days around us. Perspective of what a bad day looks like. Because too many times, and I'm saying this from experience, we can get sucked up in our days that aren't going well and think, man, this is terrible. This is bad. But if we really step back and ask ourselves, is this really a bad day? Because, you know, by my definition, a bad day is days like someone dies, a marriage fails, a job is lost, a child is hurt or killed. Like you were talking about your friends. Those are bad days, man.

Most of your bad days aren't that. And if we can step back and apply that perspective, you can pull yourself out of that real quickly and say, you know what? Despite what's going on right now, this is not something I can't overcome because I overcame that. And now I'm applying perspective and a lesson of what I've overcome in life. It's like traffic, Randall. Some days you sit in traffic and it drives you insane, drives you crazy. Been there, done that. Then there's other days you sit in traffic and it doesn't bother you at all. Is it the traffic or is it you? It's always you. It's always you and how you see the situation around you. Work on how you see the situation around you.

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link in our show notes. I want to talk about cold calling, which a lot of people out there are going to wonder, how does cold calling fit into this story? And I want to talk about how people are afraid to cold call. They're afraid to go up to strange people. I imagine after coming out of prison, having a record, being a notorious criminal, being a felon and serving time in a max security prison, I want you to tell your story about you get paroled, you're out, you're wondering what to do. Talk us through a football coaches conference and the fear you had going up to people who were at that conference. What happened? How did you get over your fear? And then the hope you had that something positive was going to come

out of that where the odds of success were probably one in 10 million. Yeah, man, this is a crazy story. And for all you people out there that work in sales, or you know a sales environment, or you've got a sales team, this is for you. And anybody that's got to grind it out every day, and the people out there that we say, you got to eat what you kill, this is for you. So January 12th, 2017, I've been out of prison for 14 months at this point. By all metrics, I am a success in life. I got a job working at one of the most prestigious law firms in Texas. I've gotten my life back together sorts and I'm starting to rebuild my name. But I've got this dream of sharing my story with college football programs, Randall,

because I played college football back in the 90s, and I know that I can impact these student-athletes' lives. But the problem is I don't know any college football coaches. They don't know me. It's been 20 years since I've taken a snap of college football. But a buddy of mine in Houston calls me up on January 12, 2017, 14 months out of prison. It's in the middle of the day.

He says, hey, Damon, tonight in Houston, Texas is the Bear Bryant coach of the year award. They're going to name the best college football coach in America. He said that eight best coaches in the country are going to be in this room tonight. I've got an extra press pass. If you want to go, he works for the media. And I'm like, you bet I want to go. So I drive the 90 miles from Beaumont to Houston after work, all I attend. And I get into the Toyota center. He sne to Houston after work, all I-10, and I get to the Toyota Center. He sneaks me in and hands me a press pass, tells me I'm on my own. So there I am in that room that night.

All the best coaches are there. I'm on the floor, and I'm walking up to all these coaches. I mean, USC, Wisconsin, Penn State, P.J. Flagg, they're all there. And I go up and shake the hands of every one of these coaches, and I give them this elevator pitch that I've been practicing for an hour and a half on I-10, man, and drive over there. Man, every coach I meet that night slammed the door in my face, Randall. Every one of them, man. It was a no, no, no. Don't call us. We'll call you. It was a bloodbath, Randall. In one hour, I've been told no seven times. Seven of the eight coaches have told me no. That's a no every eight minutes, Randall.

I'm in the corner of the Toyota Center, and I'm licking my wounds. I'm feeling sorry for myself. I've just pissed through the room in one hour, and the voice in my head is telling me, go home. It's over, man. That was a dream way too big. You failed at that. But you know what I quit doing a long time ago, Randall? Listening to myself.

And you shouldn't listen to yourself either because the voice in your head can be fear. It can be all kinds of different things. You don't know where that voice is coming from. So instead of listening to myself, I talk to myself. I do it all the time. And I'm in the corner of the Toyota Center, and I'm telling myself, no, Damon, you're not going anywhere. The last coach in this room is going to tell you no to your face before you walk out that door. And Randall, the last coach in the room, hardest guy to get to in the room. His team had

just beat Alabama two nights before for the national championship. Everybody wants a piece of this man's time. But I'm telling myself, you survived prison, Damon. You survived something way worse than this. Now I'm applying perspective. Perspective of what a bad day looks like, man. No matter what's going on inside the Toyota Center, this is a prison. I made it through that. I'm going to make it through this. So I stalked Davos Swinney around that room that night. And I look like a nut, man.

I mean, I'm hiding behind fake plants. I'm hiding behind people. Every conversation Davos has, I'm there. Randall, I think at some point security may take me away. Man, I finally get my chance. I pounce on Davos. I've got him blocked off. He can't go anywhere. And for about a minute, man, I'm talking 90 miles an hour, giving Dabo my pitch of why he should bring me in and talk to his team. Man, after a minute of speaking, I come up for air. Dabo's like, dude, you got a card on you or something? So I give him this little business card I had made up. He snatches it up. He says, I'll check you out, and he's gone, gone, and it's a no. It looks like a no. It feels like a no,

but you know what I felt okay about, Randall? That no because I left it all on the field that night, and that's what we tell people when they're younger playing sports. We leave it on the field. Sometimes you're going to come up short, but give it your best effort. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Or in sales. Sales, man, we knock on every door. We make every call and that's the end of our day. Or as Mr. Jackson said, you don't have to win all your fights, but you do have to fight all your fights. And that night I fought all my fights, Randall. I went home and slept like a baby. I forgot all about that night. Four months later, I'm working at the law firm and I get an email from the director of football operations at Clemson University, a guy named Mike Dooley. Mike Dooley, his email says, hey Damon, Coach Sweeney met you at an

award show in Houston. He'd love to have you come talk to the team. Dude, you have August 1st open. Dude, Mike Dooley, I got every got every first open man I got nothing going on in my life in 2017 so man August 1st 2017 I go speak to the Clemson Tigers the defendant national champions of college football and when I get done with my presentation that night Dabo's got me up against the wall and Dabo's a very high energy guy man he's in my face he's like Damon I've never heard a story like that before in my life I've never seen my players respond like that to a speaker. He said, have you been to Alabama yet? And I'm like, no, Dabo. I've been to Clemson, man. I haven't been anywhere, dude. He said, I just texted Nick Saban from the back of the room. We'll see what happens.

The next day I landed in Houston for my trip to Clemson, turn on my phone. I've got a voicemail and a text message from the director of football operations at Alabama. We'll see you in Tuscaloosa in three weeks. You're on. Just like that, Randall, Dabo Sweeney is kicking open the biggest doors to college football. He didn't stop there either, man. Kirby Smart started calling me, Lincoln Riley,

all these coaches in America, they're all calling my cell phone because Dabo's giving my number out. But the real magic in my life happened one year after my presentation to Clemson. It was August of 2018. I was still working at the law firm at that time. I don't work at the law firm anymore, Randall. I'm an entrepreneur now. But I was still working at the law firm and my cell phone rings. And on the other end of my cell phone is a guy named John Gordon, one of the biggest motivational speakers and author in America. He's on the other end of my phone. And I follow John every day on Twitter for my inspiration, man. This is the energy bus guy. So I'm like, John,

dude, I know who you are. How do you know who I am? He said, Dabo Sweeney. He said, I just got done speaking to Clemson's football team and Dabo briefed me off to tell me your story. He said, Damon, the world needs the coffee bean message. Let's deliver this me your story. He said, Damon, the world needs the coffee bean message. Let's deliver this to the world. He said, well, you write a book with me. We'll call it the coffee bean. Randall, the coffee bean comes out the next summer, the summer of 2019 becomes an instant bestseller, not just here over the world. It's in almost every language in the world, Chinese, Spanish, Arabic, French, Italian, but it all goes back to that one night in Houston, Texas on January 12th, 2017,

when I'm in the corner of the Toyota Center, licking my wounds, feeling sorry for myself, and the voice in my head is telling me, leave. But Randall, if I walk out that door that night, we're not having this conversation today, and the world doesn't have the coffee bean message. And I tell people all the time, don't give up in life. Don't give up before the miracle happens.

Don't give up before your dabble-sweeney moment. Always ask the question, because the only question you know the answer to is the one you do not ask. That's a no every time. One of the elements of my success has been, I'm always the most prepared person in the room, is a concept called extreme preparation. You've talked a little bit about preparation and your success. How important is preparation or extreme preparation preparing more than anybody else to our success. It's extremely important. And if you can learn to do that, if you can make that a way of life, you're going to far exceed people, especially these days. Because one of the things I tell people all the time, that if everybody prepared and worked as hard as I did, the competition to

get to the top would be so stiff. I mean, it would be so almost disabling. The competition would be if everybody worked as hard as I think I do to get to the top. Preparation is everything. You have to be willing to put in the work. Here's the deal too about that, Randall. No one can put in your work for you. No one can. You have to take action in your own life. No one can take your action for you. These are the things you have to do every single day. And if you don't do it, no one's going to do it for you. You'll never know what you could be in life or never get ahead if you're not willing to put in the work. And that is the preparation part. People want to talk about this thing called the overnight success.

There's no such thing, Randall. There's no such thing as an overnight success because life is a long time to live and you have to get up every day. People don't see the backs. People don't see what you do, Randall. They don't see you get up early in the morning for years and years and years to get to this life you have today. They just see the glitz and the glamour of it and they want that. You got to be willing to put in the work. What are the three to five elements that we need to be successful? You need to have the mindset of a servant leader. You have to be willing to serve other people. And this comes from being vulnerable. You need to be a vulnerable person.

Vulnerability is a strength. Vulnerability gets a bad rap in life. So the mindset of a servant leader, being willing to serve and being vulnerable, let's say that's one. Another thing is being able to communicate with people, which means you need to learn how to listen. Listening is one of the biggest things in the world because listening, everybody wants to feel like they've been heard, Randall. It's the most fundamental part of communication. And once a person feels like they've been heard, now they feel like they're on your team. They feel like they're part of something bigger. Now they'll do things in life they wouldn't normally do because when

you're part of a team, you'll sacrifice, you'll work harder. You'll put in more hours. You'll do things to help the team succeed, but that has to come from listening to what other people are saying. Communication is key. And the last thing as well is what we just talked about. It's being willing to put in the work. You've got to outwork everybody around. You've got to be willing to put in the work. Don't get complacent. Don't rest on your laurels. And laurels are like the awards and the certificates you receive in life for the things you've done very good. What I mean by that is you cannot live in the rearview mirror. There's a reason why your windshield is bigger than your rearview mirror in the vehicle, Randall, because you need a lot more space to look forward than

you do look backwards. You have to get out of the rearview mirror. You can't live your life looking in the rearview mirror either. In search of excellence, how important is it to give back? And can you spend a few minutes talking about the Coffee Bean Foundation and some of the amazing things that you're doing, including being the only one in the history of mankind to do something that you've done through that foundation? Yeah, I think it's extremely important to give back because to whom much is given, much is expected. In my life, Randall, there can be no doubt that there are not many stories like mine seven years out of prison. I've only been out of prison seven years, man. And the stuff that God is doing in my life, I say to people all the time, man, God doesn't set bushes on fire. He sets people on fire. And I'm one of those people, man, just burning with what's going on in my life.

But the secret sauce and all that is that I wake up every day with this one prayer that I say. And whatever religion you are out there, because I'm not here to convert anybody to a religion, but I'll tell you the prayer that I pray, and you can plug it into your religion, because it doesn't matter what religion you are for this. In AA, we say, go find what blows your hair back, right? This is a prayer I say every day. God, put in front of me what you need me to do today for you. And let me recognize that when I see it.

Amen. That's it. I don't want to miss whatever those things are. And in my life, whenever I was in prison, I watched all these guys that have children out there in the free world, and it's the same story every time. I mean, my son or my daughter is going down the wrong road. I'm in prison. They're going to be in prison one day, or my son and my daughter wants to play a sport or do something like take dance, whatever. We can't afford that because I'm

in prison, and I thought to myself, Randall, if I ever get to a place in life where I can fix that for any kid, I'm going to do that because children can't pick their parents. And that's the thing about life. In America, if you have an incarcerated parent, you're more likely to be incarcerated yourself. So my foundation that I created, the Be A Coffee Bean Foundation, one of the things we do is we connect children who have an incarcerated parent with any extracurricular activity they want to do. Whether it's a girl that wants to take dance, a boy that wants to take dance, karate lessons, judo, sports, select baseball, select softball, whatever. Any child in America that has an incarcerated parent, we will provide up to $2,500 a year, a scholarship for whatever activity they want to do. And it could be, we have a little girl that

we picked up wanting to play the guitar. So we bought her a guitar, found her guitar lessons, and found ways for her to get to and from her lessons. I just want kids to be connected to something bigger than them so they don't have to go down that road, and they don't have to be excluded from things in life because of the choices that their parents made. One of the things I did when I got out of prison, Randall, is I went back to school and got a master's in criminal justice.

And part of this was because I wanted to be taken more serious because I knew that academic credentials could help do that. I didn't realize at the time that I would become a professor at the University of Houston downtown teaching a class called Prisons in America. Randall, this is insane. I'm the only professor on the planet to teach a prisons class that lived in prison. Imagine the perspective that my students get about what the inside of a prison is like, because I never got to leave. You know, you have a lot of prisons classes that are taught by former correctional officers, former wardens, former law enforcement officers. And that's good. I'm not saying those are bad classes, but I can tell you some stuff about prison that not even they get to experience in prison. Before I finish today, I want to go ahead and ask some more open-ended questions.

I call this part of my podcast, Fill in the Blank to Excellence. You ready to play? Let's go. Let's roll. The biggest lesson I've learned in life is? That the power is inside you, not in the world around you. My number one professional goal is? My number one professional goal is to be able to spend as much time as

possible inside a prison and rooms of addiction. My number one personal goal is? I guess I got those backwards. Let me start off and say my number one professional goal is, I don't know, my number one personal goal, let's keep going. My number one personal goal is to be the best servant leader, husband, and stepfather that I can be. My biggest regret is? My biggest regret, one of my biggest regrets is that I haven't been able to, John Gordon has been my mentor. I think everybody needs a mentor and coach in life. I think it's one of the most important things.

John has been mine. And business-wise, my biggest regret is I didn't start my email list when I first started out doing this. John Gordon told me on day one, back in 2018 when he called me, capture every email you can.

And I didn't start doing it until this year, which is we're recording in 2023. I left five years of emails on the table. The one thing I've dreamed of doing for a long time but haven't is? The one thing I've dreamed of doing for a long time but haven't is? Going to law school. It's not too late. I can't become a lawyer in the state of Texas with a felony, but there's no guarantee that I'll always be on my back. Is Jerry Jones, the owner and general manager of the Dallas Cowboys,

going to let you suit up for one game and take one snap so you could beat the NFL record for the oldest person ever to take a snap in the NFL? I've asked Dak this. Dak and I became business partners last year for the television series. Dak's production company, D4K Productions, is the one producing with Lionsgate. He's letting me go out and throw passes with CeeDee Lamb and those guys, and he just, man, Dak was blowing away at my arm. I'm 47 years old.

So I've got about 18 more months before I'd be the oldest player to ever take a snap. I think George Blanda was the oldest guy to ever do it. But I don't know. We'll see. Hey, you know I'll ask the question because I always ask the question. If you could meet one person in the world, who would it be? Does it have to be alive or dead? Alive. Alive. One person alive, who would it be? Warren Buffett. My guess is if you call out, you're in the art of master the cold call.

I bet the likelihood of you calling Warren Buffett and him taking your call, I'd guess, is very, very high. I think so too. In one billion years, when you were in prison, getting sentenced, the flashbang grenade going through the door, feelings of suicide, life sentence you're never going to get out, Did you ever dream of being where you are today, motivating and improving the lives of tens of millions of people? And my guess is before you're

done, Damon, you're going to be influencing the lives of 100 million people and you're making, I'm guessing, millions of dollars a year. Could you ever envision in a billion years you'd be where you are today? Absolutely not. And I'll tell people this, man plans and God laughs. Because man, when I was in that prison cell, you know what one thing I never thought was possible for a guy like me? To be married. I laid in my prison bunk and I thought to myself, there's no way someone is ever going

to love me after all the mistakes I made. And if I found that person, there's no way their family would love me, right? None of that came to be true because there's fear. There's fears in your head. And I met this woman named Kendall Romero. She has a daughter named Clara Romero. That's my stepdaughter to this day. Kendall's family is like my own family now.

My mother and my father are still alive and I've got my father-in-law and mother-in-law that love me. And when the first time she brought me in to meet her parents, her dad looked at me, he said, man, it sounds like you made a lot of really shitty decisions in your life. He said, but you paid a hell of a price for the choices you made. He said, I'll tell you what, man, it sounds like you're on the right path. Treat my daughter well, we'll be great. And man, he's one of my best friends to this day. The one question you wish I had asked, but didn't ask is? What happened to Mr. Jackson? Tell us. I found him. It took me seven years to find this guy. And the reason why it was so hard to find him, he said, Mr. Jackson's not his real name. That's the name I gave him for the sake of the story. The only name I knew this guy

by was Muhammad. And because that's when guys go to prison and they convert to Islam, they give up their government name. Cassius Clay. Cassius Clay went to prison in the 1960s. He walks out of prison as Muhammad Ali. So the only name I know this guy by is Muhammad. And I finally found him because an inmate at the Texas Department of Criminal Justice wrote me a letter. And he said, find James Lynn Baker and you find Mr. Jackson. So I went on this search with a private investigator to find James Lynn Baker. We found him and he was the right guy, but he was dead. He died almost six years ago of an opiate overdose.

He was a drug addict just like me, Randall. Never got help, though. I went and found his family after that. And I said, hey, I want to honor. I found his three sisters, Misha Von Steele and Vanessa Baker. And I told him, I want to honor your brother. I'm going to start a scholarship at his high school that he went to, whatever high school it was. Ends up being Dallas Lincoln High School. And so I put $10,000 every year into a trust for the James Lynn Baker II via Coffee Bean Bean Scholarship so that one little boy or one little girl that graduates from his high school that grows up in his neighborhood

in the inner city of Dallas will get a better chance at life through education because these two guys had this chance encounter in Dallas County Jail in the summer of 2009. So yeah, man, I finally found Mr. Jackson. You're an incredible guy, Damon. As I said at the beginning of this podcast, your story is truly incredible and beyond inspirational. Without a doubt, has positively already influenced the lives of millions of people. And as I said, I bet before you all said and done, it probably could be in the billions.

I hope every single person listening to this podcast or watching this podcast will go out and buy all of your books. I have one behind me. I'm giving it to all my 35 summer interns this summer and all of my kids, and I'm sure it's going to change their life. I'm very grateful for you to sharing your story today. Thank you very much. Randall, and thank you for the opportunity, man. And for your technical team that are not on this call right now, they're going to hear this. Thank you for working through all the issues. We wanted to get this done and get it done fast. And we got it done,

which is like amazing opportunity and diversity. It's what I speak about, Randall. I go around speaking all over the world to companies, groups, teams, organizations, corporations, about finding the best version of yourself inside of the diversity. Take care. God bless you.

Honestly. Yeah, man. All right, man. Take care. Take care. take care God bless you honestly yeah man take care