In Search Of Excellence - Robert Greene: The Untold Story Behind The 48 Laws of Power | E158
Episode Date: April 8, 2025Robert Greene is a globally renowned author and thinker best known for his groundbreaking books on power, strategy, and human behavior, including the international bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, Th...e Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, and Mastery. But before becoming a literary icon, Robert struggled through decades of uncertainty—working over 50 different jobs, battling self-doubt, and feeling lost in his 30s. It wasn’t until age 37, after years of rejection and frustration, that his life changed with the release of The 48 Laws of Power, a book that would go on to sell millions of copies and influence everyone from CEOs to world leaders and hip-hop legends. In this episode, Robert opens up about the real pain behind his rise, the dangerous truths about power, and the deeply human experiences that shaped his work.Timestamps:00:00 – Intro and Robert's Get Rich or Die Trying Moment06:25 – 50 Jobs, Self-Doubt, and a Dream to Write13:37 – Suicidal Thoughts and The Emotional Cost of Unfulfilled Potential25:11 – How to Become Powerful and Master Relationships35:54 – Why You Shouldn’t Follow All 48 Laws—and Who Actually Did48:49 – Surreal Moments, Paparazzi, and the Prime Minister of ItalyResources:Robert's InstagramRobert's WebsiteSneak Peak of Robert's New Book, The Law of the SublimeWant to Connect? Reach out to us online!Instagram | 1-on-1 Coaching | YouTube | TikTok | LinkedIn
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Does everybody have a get rich or die moment?
Well, first of all, you have to be 37 years old
and feel like you're a loser and people looking at you like,
who is this person? Is that age? Hasn't really done anything.
Then you will feel like get rich or die trying.
The contrast with where I was five months ago
in my smelly one-bedroom apartment in Santa Monica
where nobody would pay attention to me.
And suddenly paparazzi are photographing me in my swimsuit.
It was shocking. It was surreal. You don't like your work, your colleagues aren't listening to you,
your boss tunes you out. You are completely powerless. You have no effect on people,
no ability to influence them. Law 20. Do not commit to anyone. It's about keeping some
independence, some room to maneuver. The game of life, the game of power is to have maneuverability.
So in life, if you have options, you have power.
Welcome to In Search of Excellence.
My guest today is Robert Green, who needs absolutely no introduction whatsoever.
Six time New York Times bestselling author.
Books you're going to know the best 48 laws of power, art of seduction and mastery. Robert thanks for being here today. Thank you so much for having me
Randall, I appreciate it. Glad to be here. Let's start with your family. You're born
in Baldwin Hills, raised on the west side of LA. Your dad was a chemical salesman
for 40 years at the same company. Tell us about the influence of your parents that they had on you and tell us a little bit about your mom which you haven't
talked about very much.
Well, my mother is 98. She's still alive and kicking, doing really well. She was basically
a housewife. She started a business that didn't last very long in the 70s. So she basically
was a housewife, but she was an artist. She studied art at UCLA. She has an eye for design and fashion.
And what I got from my mother was her energy, her persistence.
She's somebody that just never stops.
She's got more energy than I do, and she's 98.
So this kind of relentless pursuit of something is sort of what I inherited from my mother.
From my father, he was sort of a gentle person.
He was a really good dad.
And we bonded on the level mostly of sports.
But I think what I got most from my father was my ability to work with people.
Because he was a great salesman.
Everybody loved him.
It was really strange and almost poignant at his funeral.
All these people came up who I never met before saying how much they loved my father, how
wonderful it was to work with him.
He was a really, really good salesman because he understood people.
He was really good in dealing with each person, different cultures.
At that time, a lot of his clients were Korean.
He got really into Korean culture. He was just a man with
a great deal of empathy and had good social skills. So I inherited that from my father.
So I think those two sides kind of balanced themselves out to produce, voila, here I am,
who I am.
You were very introverted as a kid and you always loved books. Do you remember the first
book you read and what impact it had on you?
I cannot remember the first book I read. I can remember the experience though.
Back in the day, this is in the 60s, they would hand you this mimeograph sheet with a list of like 200 books,
paperbacks that children could order for like five cents a piece, right?
And I checked off like 75 books. My father was like, Paul, you know, order 75
books. And I did. A lot of them had to do with war because I just loved reading about
World War II. My father was, you know, he didn't fight, but he was a mechanic during
World War II. He worked on planes. I was obsessed with World War II because it wasn't that distant
at that time in the 60s.
So a lot of the books had to do with battles and warfare and strategy and sports, the two things I
loved the most. So that's what I remember, these really cheap, poorly printed paperbacks, just
stacks of them that I ordered and read. A lot of people as they grow up, they get for whatever
reason into drugs, seriously into drugs.
You got into some serious drugs in high school, but...
Man, you've done your research.
But you've looked back and after that, even though you were depressed, you said you looked
back finally on the drug experience.
How on earth can someone who does drugs and have a drug problem look back and thought
that was a good thing?
I didn't have a drug problem.
Let me correct that.
I was mostly...
It was a search for me.
It was like kind of a spiritual experience
that I was looking for.
And so for us, it was associated with being out in nature,
going to concerts, you know, like the Grateful Dead
and things like that.
And so it wasn't just for, it wasn't an addiction.
It was kind of like to have sort of
a transcendental type experience.
And I had some of the most intense, beautiful experiences an addiction, it was kind of like to have sort of a transcendental type experience.
And I had some of the most intense, beautiful experiences in my whole life.
And I remember them very vividly, you know, trips to the ocean and just seeing everything,
just utterly, you know, the awesomeness of nature, just being alive, which is the subject
of my new book.
So it impacted me very deeply on a spiritual level.
It was never like an addiction.
So when I left Berkeley and I went
to University of Wisconsin, I really
didn't do any hallucinogenic drugs anymore.
But it was a period of a year of my life that was so intense,
I could still feel it in my body, how exciting it was.
So I was using drugs not for just fun and kicks,
but for like something else, something deeper.
I was searching for something.
So you went to Berkeley, then Wisconsin.
My daughter went to Wisconsin.
Madison?
Yeah, Madison.
Badgers, yeah, go Badgers.
Go Badgers, although I went to Michigan, go Blue.
Oh, oh dear.
So I root for Wisconsin.
You were at Ann Arbor.
Yeah, Ann Arbor.
I did root for the Badgers when Michigan wasn't playing.
Great school.
I'm not sure who misses it more, my daughter or me,
because all the parents would go and have the best times.
Was the KK there when you were around?
Was it what?
The KK.
It's this crazy bar everyone goes, it's fun.
I think it was on State Street.
Yeah, it's called the College Club?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Great.
Insane.
So many people graduate college and then basically the real world hits them in the face.
I want to know what the experience was like when you sat down one day with a guy who asked
you to lunch and he was three martinis in when he told you something.
What happened?
Well, I was working for this magazine called Atencioni.
It was a magazine for Italian Americans, very fancy, very glossy, actually a very good magazine.
And I had just recently been hired.
And I wrote this article on a trip to Italy, which I thought was really good and really
interesting about the Amalfi Coast and all that.
And so he takes me to lunch and I'm expecting him to praise me.
And instead he's basically saying, Robert, I don't think you're a very good writer.
I don't think you were meant to be a writer.
You're not disciplined.
You don't understand your audience very well.
You just write whatever you feel like.
You don't have a good sense of communication.
You know, like journalistic skills.
Journalism is all about communicating quickly an idea.
And he says, you know, I think you should go to law school or business school.
Save yourself the misery that trying to be a writer will have on you and just go to law
school and go to business school.
And I remember, because I've always wanted to be a writer since I was a kid.
I love literature.
I love writing.
It's like my main passion in life, you know?
And so at first I was like a gut punch.
I was like, damn, what's this guy telling him?
What's his problem?
And I sort of saw him as he's drinking his martinis.
That was really his issue more than mine.
And this image came up to my mind that I've never forgotten of looking at him in the eyes. He's having his martinis that it was like a house
With a decent exterior but the insides were all rotting and all the wood was full of like termites and just rotting
He was like rotting from the inside and it was kind of like he was envious of me
I didn't take it personally
but in the days to come it sort of affected me and it kind of weighed on me.
And I came to the realization that in some way he was right.
It wasn't that writing wasn't right for me,
because I've always wanted to be a writer,
and I knew that I was a good writer.
It was that I was in the wrong field, journalism.
And it was a signal to me that I wasn't passionately involved in it.
And because I wasn't passionately involved in the work, it wasn't really of high quality.
So I understood I had to get out of journalism, which was sort of the epiphany that I had, and I did get out of journalism.
So many young professionals today, and I have this intern program we talked about a little bit before the show,
and I've mentored hundreds of students and young professionals,
have no idea what they want to do.
You knew you wanted to be a writer
and they bounce around.
You had 50 jobs before you were 30.
At least, probably more.
More.
And we'll get into your big break in a minute,
but let's talk about some of them.
Hotel receptionist, you were a tour guide.
You did a lot of, you worked for a screenwriter, you
wrote some novels that you didn't finish.
What was the worst job you ever had and the worst experience from that job and what lessons
did you learn from that one?
Well, the worst physical job was in Greece.
I was very sick.
I was in a hospital.
I had to pay my way to get off this Greek island.
I had no money.
So I did construction work and I basically had to pull nails out of pieces of wood all day long, you know, and getting
all bloody and everything. That was the worst physical job. The worst mental job
was I worked for a detective agency, I believe in Pasadena, somewhere like that,
and I was a skip tracer, which is basically somebody who stays in an office.
You're not a detective. You sit in an office and you try and hunt down people
who've skipped town, who've left debts,
or haven't paid their bail, whatever the word is.
And so my job was to find them over the telephone.
No Google Van, no.
No, no Google Van since the late 80s.
And you had a script, you would call the mother or the old ex then. Yeah, nothing. Since late 80s. Yeah.
And you had a script.
You would call like the mother or the old ex-girlfriend.
They would give you the numbers.
And you had a script of how you would sort of deceive and manipulate them into believing
that you were a friend and that you were just trying to look for this guy, right?
And so, you know, you'd have to say, you know, oh, I remember you would make up a story that
would sound like you knew them in school
and unfortunately I was really good at it but I felt so depressed I felt so
ugly inside because you were conning them and these poor people who knew
their story maybe they maybe they were doing it for a reason you know I felt
sympathy for them I've always felt sympathy for the underdog in life and
here I was the oppressor here I was the police person trying to nab them I felt sympathy for them. I've always felt sympathy for the underdog in life. And here I was the oppressor.
I was the police person trying to nab them.
I felt ugly.
And it was a really horrible period of my life.
I was only at the job for three months,
but it was so soul-sucking.
I've had a lot of soul-sucking jobs working in Hollywood.
That was probably the worst, but I could go on forever.
All that stuff
prepared me, gave me material for the 48 Laws of Power.
The Hollywood job I'm particularly curious about because we live here and we both have
tons of friends in that business who get yelled at every day. They do shit work, it's a horrific experience.
Thank you.
What is your worst experience working in Hollywood?
I worked for a television company
that produced one of the shlockiest TV shows in the 90s.
I'm so embarrassed,
but I don't even wanna tell you the name.
Oh, come on, you gotta tell us the name.
Rescue 911.
Okay. I'm really, it's almost you gotta tell us the name. Rescue 911. Okay.
I'm really, it's almost like admitting
I was a porn star or something.
That's how embarrassed I am to say that.
Anyway, I was like a researcher for this show.
And, God, you know, you're like calling the police chief
in some town in Iowa,
asking for stories of people that he's like
brought back from death, you know, stories of like a pet pig that was caught in a fire.
The fireman had to perform CPR on the pig, you know, and then they were going to go out
and film that.
You know, I mean, that kind of stuff, you know, and I was always more of an elevated
mentality, not that I'm a snob, but I was
always into like interesting movies and literature and stuff.
And here I'm like making phone calls about a police, a fireman who like had to do mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation on a pig, you know, things like that.
That was pretty bad.
But you know, I don't know, I saw a lot of very manipulative tactics worked on people and that's where
the 48 laws of power came from. And some of it kind of disturbed me. Like I would write
whole sections of dialogue for a screenplay as an assistant. And it was probably the best
dialogue in the script, but no one ever gave me credit for it No one knew that I had done that line. That was so funny
So law number seven always get people to do the work, but take the credit for it
That's where that law came from I could go on and on and on about that
Let's get to the book in a little bit, but I want to talk about the period we graduate college
We're usually 22 years old and for the next 14 years
You were kind of lost you didn't know what you were to do.
Things are not going well.
Your parents were worried about you,
and you had suicidal thoughts.
So did you ever actually think about killing yourself?
Oh yeah, yeah.
My girlfriend and my wife, now she can attest to that.
I was pretty low.
It's this feeling like,
you know that you're good at something,
you know that you're destined for something.
I was at a feeling like I was destined
to do something interesting and maybe even great, right?
But you haven't done it.
You've kind of wasted, what is it, you're lost.
If I never felt like I was really meant
to do something important,
I wouldn't have gotten so depressed.
But the discrepancy between what I thought of myself and what I had achieved was getting
wider and bigger and bigger and bigger.
And as you said, I'm in my mid-30s and I'm seeing all these young people come up who
are so smart, who've already directed their first film, who've produced their film, they've
written their first novel. Here've produced their film, they've written their first novel.
Here I am, 36, 37.
And you could take that word loser and attach it to me,
at least I felt that way.
It hadn't really added up to anything solid.
So yeah, I was deeply depressed
and at moments I thought of suicide.
So many of us have a big break, right?
Things are not going well.
My own life, I came to LA,
I lost my job five and a half weeks after moving here. I had $3,000 in the bank, got fired from that job
six months later. Well, I got a job in Orange County. They wanted me to move. I said no,
fired from that job eight months in. Got a record. Big time record. Worst legal start
to a legal career that you could probably have. Well, yeah. And so
Eli Broad hired me after this terrible stretch I had, and that was my big break. Tell us
when you were in Venice, Italy, about a guy named Yost Alphurst. Tell us what happened
next.
Well, I was there on a project that a friend from Berkeley, a college friend, had invited me on to write a book to help launch a school that Benetton was starting a media school,
which is a really weird concept, a book to launch a school.
And for those people who don't know, Benetton was in this really cool clothing brand.
They had like the rugby, it was blue and had white.
Colors of Benetton, yeah.
Yeah.
It was a bad experience.
It was just like all these Italian people drinking espresso all day and arguing and
discussing and nothing ever got done.
Nothing.
You know?
And so I like to get things done.
And this man, Joost Elfers, is in New York as a book packager, which is basically a man
who produces books like a man who produces, or a woman who produces movies.
And he was there to produce this mythical book
that we were gonna write.
We were both walking on the Cays of Italy, Venice,
one of the most beautiful locations in the world,
the Piazza San Marco.
And he suddenly asked me in his nice Dutch accent
whether I had any ideas for a book.
And suddenly, there's like a light bulb
that went on in my head. Like wow, I could write a book. Not a novel, not a
screenplay, not a play, but a book. A nonfiction book. Never really thought of
that before. And I got kind of really weird and excited inside. And I
improvised an idea that turned into the 48 Laws of Power.
I told him a story. I said I've been through all these terrible experiences like we were having in
Italy with all these Machiavellian characters. I told him a story of King Louis XIV and his
Prime Minister or his attendant, his finance minister, sorry, Nicholas Fouquet, who threw
the most magnificent party in honor of the King, right, the party that people were talking
about.
It was like the greatest party they'd ever attended.
And the day after he was thrown in prison and spent the rest of his life in prison,
he had outshone the master.
People were liking him more than the king. And because he was offending
the king's ego, he was thrown into prison ostensibly for financial reasons, for corruption,
right? Never outshine the master. I said, Yost, this is an example in history of something
so elemental, a pattern in people, their insecurities, their egos, that if you inadvertently trip
their ego and it's your boss, you'regos, that if you inadvertently trip their ego,
and it's your boss, you're gonna pay for it.
In the old days, you would be beheaded
or thrown into prison.
Now you will be fired.
He got so excited by that, he said,
Robert, I'll pay you to, I'm not gonna do his accent,
I'll pay you to write the rest of the book.
And we'll sell it.
He paid me, this is 1996, he paid me 3,000 a month, which back then wasn't bad.
For somebody who was pretty much living paycheck to paycheck, my method was I would work six
months in Hollywood and make a fair amount of money and then quit and write for six months
until I had nothing.
And at that point I had nothing.
So $3,000 a month was pretty good for me.
You call this moment a get rich or die moment.
Does everybody have a get rich or die moment?
And if you don't, what do you say to people
who are hoping to get one?
Well, first of all, you have to be 37 years old
and feel like you're a loser and have your parents
like kind of whispering things and these phone calls
that are kind of disturbing you
and people looking at you like maybe who is this person
who has, who's that age and hasn't really done anything?
Then you will feel like get rich or die trying
kind of thing, right?
So if you're in your 20s, it's hard to feel
that kind of desperation, right?
Unless you're so ambitious that by the time you,
and there are young people like that, you're 23
and you haven't made your first million, you feel like that kind of thing.
But it was mostly that I was so desperate to save my life and it was
really like saving my life at that point that I was gonna work, I was gonna kill
myself to make this book work and I did literally, I didn't kill myself but I
worked so hard night and
day, day and night, just poured every last bit of energy I had into that to make it something
great. I call it in my war book, my strategy book, the Death Ground Strategy. In battle,
when an army has its back to a mountain or to the ocean and it's either defeat the enemy or die, that army will fight
with three times, four times the energy, right? Well, my back was against the ocean. I was going
to like kill myself if I didn't succeed. And because of that energy, I worked so hard with
so much desire and so much emotion that I put it all into that book. There's something ingrained in us that our parents know best.
Our parents want us to go to law school, or I'm Jewish,
I should be a doctor.
And everyone believes that your parents.
Yeah, I'm Jewish.
We share that.
So thankfully, my mom didn't say that I needed to be a doctor.
She wanted me to be a doctor, but I would you a lawyer
Second best don't want to admit that to people today. I'm proud of that moment
You did it did it because I thought seventy thousand dollars back in 1993. I was rich
There's nothing I couldn't do on seventy thousand dollars. I made after-tax. They forty eight thousand dollars. All right, it's amazing
Yeah, do parents actually know best I made after-tax, they $48,000. I was like, all right, it's amazing.
Do parents actually know best?
No.
Why not?
Because everybody's different.
Everybody is born with a different DNA, with a different wiring of their brain, with different
tastes, with different proclivities, different inclinations.
And when parents try to impose their own values, their own experiences on their child,
they're doing a disservice. They're harming the soul of that child. Right? So I can credit my
parents in the sense that they put a little bit of pressure like Jewish parents always will,
right? But they weren't too forceful with it. But I know a lot of people who felt that pressure,
you know, got to be a doctor, got to be a lawyer,
got to follow this path or that path. And when parents do that, a
lot of times what happens is you enter a profession
under the
belief that I need to make money, that I need to be comfortable, right? Because that's the most important thing, you know,
it's to have the insecurity of not knowing where you're gonna, how you're gonna make a living is terrible.
I understand that. But it's not knowing how you're going to make a living is terrible. I understand that.
But it's not connecting to you, right?
And I'm not going to say this about you, but a lot of people who go into becoming lawyers,
they do that out of the desire to make money, not out of a connection to law, not out of
a connection to the rhetoric of law, to the back and forth element, to the confrontational aspect.
It's because they want to make a living out of it, money.
And then they get into their late 20s, their 30s, and there's no connection to it.
They don't feel it.
There's no energy, there's no desire, there's no emotion.
And they start tuning out, and their work suffers, and they start being distracted and
thinking of other things.
And then slowly as they get older, they feel like,
damn it, I missed it, I should have done something else, right?
So you have to learn at a very early age to not listen to your parents
and to listen to that voice inside of your head that tells you what you want to be.
For me, that voice was, writer, be a writer, be a writer, not be a lawyer, not be a doctor, but be a writer. If that voice gets drowned out by the voices of your
parents, you're in a lot of trouble.
I know a lot of lawyers. I fucking hated every minute of law school. Couldn't, I mean, I
got to read this case. I had no interest. It was like, oh my God, how do I read this
and understand it? I practiced so unsuccessfully for two and a half years.
There wasn't a moment I sat at my desk
where I thought I love what I'm doing, this is rewarding,
this is just the best thing ever.
And most lawyers I know today are absolutely miserable.
Oh good, wow.
But they get golden hang.
I mean we had dinner maybe,
we have some really, really good friends.
He's a lawyer, very senior lawyer, charges $2,000 an hour.
And I said to him, and I'm not gonna mention his name, but we'll call him Jim Bob. I said,
hey Jim Bob, I said, do you like what you're doing these days? He said, I fucking hate it. And I said,
well, you're making a few million dollars a year, you have all these fancy clients. He said, well,
I'd rather be doing something else. Yeah, very common scenario. And it's too late, you know, he said what am I gonna do now? It's the only thing I
know what to do. How old is he? He's 58. Too late. Too late. Too late. Too late. Two kids, mortgage, private school,
yeah, nice vacations, $4,000 a night hotel rooms when they go away. I tell
people that as a cautionary tale because I've heard stories like that.
You do not want to be that person, I tell them,
who's 55 years old, who looks back on their life
and says, god, I could have been this,
or in the words of Marlon Brando,
I could have been a contender.
I could have been great at this, and I never did it, right?
And then that feeling of regret is
like a wound, a pain that never goes away.
It's going to haunt you till you die.
You don't want to be that person is what I tell people.
You write this incredible book, your first book.
It's unheard of almost for your first book to be such a best seller.
Everybody knows the book.
When I told people that you were coming on my show, I'm Robert Greene. I love that book 48 laws of power
They're telling me about all the lessons
Let's start at the very beginning with the title of the book either word power when I think of power and
Before I read the book. I thought alright. Well power means you can dictate everything you're in control of everything
You got it all and everyone's got to listen to you and you can dictate everything, you're in control of everything, you got it all,
and everyone's got to listen to you.
And you can basically do whatever you want.
That's not the definition of power, is it?
No, it's not because it's a social game.
Power is a complete social game.
It's pure psychology.
It's creating the appearance of power.
It's making people like you, making people want to be on your side.
And if you're a bully, if you're forcing people,
if you're telling people what to do,
it's like you create a counter reaction
and they secretly resent you
and they're gonna work against you, right?
The game of power is to play on people's psychology
to the point where they do what you want them to do,
but willingly of their own volition.
They think that they're helping themselves, but they're really advancing you.
It's a very subtle game where you think what you're doing is helping you, but in fact it's
having the opposite effect, right?
You know, you're not aware of the consequences of your action.
You're talking too much.
You think by talking a lot, you're going to impress people with all of your knowledge and all your intelligence.
And in fact, you're making yourself look weak and insecure.
Always say less than necessary, law number four.
Some of the book is counterintuitive.
Some of it is kind of common sense, but some of it is counterintuitive.
I'm trying to show you the subtle gradations of the game of power, the social aspect, because
knowing how to deal with people is not easy.
Nobody hands us a book when we graduate college saying this is how it works.
People are very tricky.
They never tell you exactly what they think about you.
They smile, but they're not really on your side.
And so you have to be very alert and you have to understand the subtle nuances
of the game of power.
You said that the feeling of being powerless is more corrupting than the feeling of power
itself. What does it mean to be powerless? And why is that more corrupting than power?
Well, put yourself in this situation. It's very simple. It's not that complicated. It's
not rocket science. It's not rocket
science. Your children aren't listening to you. Your son, your daughter, they're tuning
you out. You yell at them, scream at them. They won't listen to you at all.
Up to a certain point.
No, no, no. I'm just painting a scenario.
Okay.
So your children are tuning you out. Your wife won't listen to you or your husband. Very
annoying habits that you wish them to change.
You don't yell, you try to change it, but they're not changing.
You don't like your work, your colleagues aren't listening to you, right?
Nobody cares about you.
Your boss tunes you out.
You are completely powerless.
Nobody will listen to you.
Nobody will do it.
You have no effect on people, no ability to influence them.
I think we can all relate to how miserable that feels, right?
To have the fact, because we're animals that, you know, life is tricky, it's chaotic.
We want some control.
We want the ability to some degree to direct the circumstances that are happening around
us.
And the feeling that you can't influence your children
or your spouse or your colleagues or your boss
is the worst feeling in the world.
And I know that feeling very, very deep, profoundly
because I had it, right?
But the sense that you have control over yourself
and you can control, you can move people
sort of in the direction that you want, that you can kind of, you know how to appeal to their self-interest to get
them to do what you want them to do. It's a different, much different feeling. It's
not joy and pleasure, it's not ecstasy, I don't say that, but it's a calming
effect. It's a fact that I can dictate to some degree the course of my life.
Let's go through some of the laws right now.
And as you said, some of them are counterintuitive.
So I was raised in Detroit and was always taught to be humble.
Right?
You shouldn't be the person that everyone is pointing at.
You shouldn't be the person who's loud or boisterous.
When I was in law school, there were people called gunners.
And gunners were
the people raising their hand every time the professor would call on them. They wouldn't
shut the fuck up. And they wanted everyone to know how smart they were. And a lot of
times they weren't that smart. They just liked being heard. Our company goes public. Company
has a $14 billion valuation. The data goes public. It shoots up to $35 billion 86 days later.
When is this?
This is 1999, October 29, 1999. And I'm 31 years old.
What company is this?
Akamai Technologies.
Oh, yeah, sure. I remember that.
Post-IPO, everybody want to talk about the wealth, right? I didn't want to talk about
anything. Eli Broad told me this reporter from Detroit called me up,
Jerome Levin, he was the business reporter.
I read him growing up, he calls me up and he says,
hey, I'm Jerome Levin, yeah, I know.
I wanna write this profile about you.
I said, wow, thank you, I'm flattered, not interested.
And he said, why not?
And he said, I just, I wanna keep my life private.
He said, well, you really can't. And he said, so I'm going to write the story with or without
you. I call Eli Broad, who's also from Detroit. I'm sure he knows Doron. He knew Doron. I
said, Hey, what do you think of him? He said, yeah, he's a good guy. He's going to treat
you fairly. He said, well, Eli, I really don't want to, don't want him to write the story.
And he said, this will be your coming out party.
I said, I don't want a coming out party.
And he said, then there's one reason to do it.
And he said, you can influence the outcome of the story.
So I had to do it.
He was writing it either way.
It influenced me.
But I had so many opportunities.
He invited me on Bloomberg Television.
I had nothing to talk about, and they were going to ask,
what's it like to be a founder of this company?
So law number six, court attention at all costs
doesn't make any sense to me.
Why should we do that?
Well, I try to make the point, which
is a very important point that people miss.
I think it's in the preface. I'm pretty sure it's in the preface because I wrote it, that each law depends on the circumstances.
So you can't be blindly applying each law no matter where you are, no matter how old you are,
no matter what your position is. That is foolish. Life doesn't work like that. Each person faces
different circumstances. In some circumstances, you want to enter action with boldness. In other circumstances you
don't want to outshine the master. When you're in certain businesses courting
attention at all cost is extremely powerful. You want attention is power
particularly in the age of social media. But sometimes in some situations
courting attention is the worst thing you can do. It makes you look aggressive, it makes you look over eager, it makes you look insecure.
So damn it, stop applying my laws willy-nilly no matter who you are.
Think about your circumstances and your situation.
Be intelligent.
Apply them intelligently.
And the last law of the book is assume formlessness.
And I explicitly state in that law, throw out all 47 laws that you've just read because
they're ridiculous.
Just learn to be in the moment and apply what matters in that particular moment.
So it all depends on where you are.
And in that particular moment, court attention was maybe the wrong strategy.
I think a lot of the people who are raising their hand and talking the whole time, I think
they're insecure.
And so many people I know who have made money, especially younger people who have never made
money more before, I think there's a lot of insecurity that goes into courting attention
themselves.
Yeah, but look at these people on social media, quote unquote, influencers.
They're those people who are raising their hands like that in law school.
And look how they've got 5 million followers.
They're making seven figures, whatever it is.
They're doing pretty well by courting attention.
It just depends on who you are, the kind of person you are,
and the kind of world you're in, the culture you're in,
and the circumstances.
OK, so we're not going to take all these literally,
but I still want to go through some of them.
OK, thank you.
OK?
So I had a boss at Sun America.
Not really a boss.
He was a junior boss.
He had been the assistant to the chairman, which
I was as well before.
And he was not a good person, not a good person to learn from.
We do all this work, and he'd take all the credit
for all the work.
And you'd sit there in these meetings with Eli,
and we created these 80 page, very complicated
financial models.
And his name is Jim.
Jim's giving it to our CEO, Eli.
And I'm sitting around the room, what's going on here?
But you said that get others to do the work for you and don't share any of the credit.
How could you be a good leader or learn from somebody
if that's the case?
Okay, well, first of all, a lot of the laws,
I'm not preaching, I'm not saying what's good or bad,
I'm saying this is how the world operates.
Do not be naive.
Do not be a naive yokel like I once was
when I entered Hollywood,
thinking that if I wrote it, I was going to get credit.
Understand the law of the jungle.
The law of the jungle is that there are vultures out there who are circling around you at every moment,
willing to take, wanting to take your work and eat it up for themselves.
They're scavengers, essentially, is what they Okay, they're there. Do not be naive. All right? And so the best thing to do is to
understand the dynamic, understand that people are going to take credit for your
work when you're younger, when you're starting up. I mean, if you look at people
giving speeches, politicians, or newscasters, or comedians who seem so
eloquent
Thousands of people are writing all of their material
Comics aren't writing their own jokes. They have a team of writers who were writing their jokes
Newscasters aren't writing their reports. They have all these researchers doing it. That's how the world works, right? Don't be stupid
Understand the dynamic and yes when you get to a position of power, you're probably going to be using that yourself anyway,
because it's hard enough if you're like somebody in the public to do all of the work yourself.
Right? It's too exhausting.
You've got a team of people doing it for you.
You don't put their name on every single thing that you do.
That's just the way the world works.
I'm trying to open your eyes to the way of the world
and not make you not so damn naive.
When we're terrified of things,
our prefrontal cortex makes terrible decisions.
You freeze.
It impairs your ability to do a lot of things.
And Law 17 in the book is keep others in suspended terror.
So how on earth can you do that in any way, shape, or form
and still function as a rational, objective person making good decisions?
You're taking it, you know, as I said, everything has a context, right?
So if you're completely predictable as a leader, as a boss,
if everybody knows what you're going to do next, you don't have much power in the situation
because people can read you like an open book.
They know exactly what's coming, right?
And they're going to use that against you.
Even if you are a boss, the people working for you are going to manipulate you.
They know that this is the next thing that you're going to do.
If you're unpredictable, if they cannot guess what's coming next from their leader, it keeps
them on their toes.
Well, I don't know how he or she is going to respond to this report that I have.
I better make it really good as opposed to if I write it this way and I con the leader
into thinking it's a great report, I'll just give it the appearance of that and he or she will love it, right?
You want to get the best out of people.
So sometimes that little touch of unpredictability keeps them on their toes.
Now obviously creating terror is a bit of extreme thing for me to say, but please understand
I'm writing a book that is, you know, a marketing tool. So if I said keep people in suspended, you know, anguish,
whatever, it doesn't have the oomph of it.
So I use the word terror.
But the idea of being unpredictable is an extremely powerful tool,
and it's a book about power.
It's not a book about being nice.
It's not a book about people loving you.
It's a book about power.
Law 20.
Okay.
Do not commit to anyone.
Once again, it's not about relationships. It's not about your wife or your husband
and not committing to them. Okay. It's about keeping some independence, some room to maneuver.
The game of life, the game of power is to have maneuverability. It's like warfare. The army that has room to move
its soldiers, has more space, can maneuver in different directions, has more power. Okay?
So in life, if you have options, if you have the ability to go here, here, or here, you
have power. Okay? But if you've committed to this person, I'm going to help you no matter
what happens, you've lost your what happens you've lost your independence
You've lost your autonomy now. You have to go with this direction instead of perhaps choosing this this or this to serve your own interests
Okay
so it's so easy to fall into the trap of always giving of always committing to these people and
Losing your independence and I'm trying to make you aware that power lies in
and losing your independence, and I'm trying to make you aware that power lies in keeping, being the middle man, where people want your services and they have to fight for it, as
opposed to just immediately joining this side or that side.
I think so many people who read the book don't take the whole context.
I mean, as you explain it today, I've talked to a lot of people about the book, and they
crush your enemy, and they talk about all this stuff.
Oh, Robert is a badass.
You know, he's telling us all these things,
and I'm taking it to heart.
But you said that you don't follow all 48 laws,
and if you did, you'd be an ugly person.
I'd be a monster.
Yeah.
But you wrote them.
Yeah, but, I mean, I never intended for anybody
on the planet to follow all 48.
The person who came the closest that I knew who followed the 48 laws of power was 50 Cent,
right?
I wrote a book with him.
But he's a really nice guy.
He's a really good person, actually.
I mean, I know his reputation and the kind of thuggish front that he gives, but he's
actually a very decent person,
very wonderful to work for.
He's got good values, et cetera.
But he follows the laws and he's not a bad person.
But you know, everything is for your circumstances.
Some people, the laws would be terrible to apply
because it's not your personality.
You're not a bold person, so interaction with boldness will just look ridiculous.
You'll make all kinds of mistakes, you know?
So you have to know what fits you as a human being, what makes you comfortable, what makes
you not feel ugly inside.
You have to know what your circumstances are.
You have to know what could possibly work in this situation or that situation and apply
the laws.
And all 48 will never be in play for you.
So how many of the 48 should we master to be great?
You know, in some cases, it could be only one law to understand and master, you know.
You certainly don't want to crush your enemy totally.
That is a law that has to do with businesses.
Because you better believe it that businesses use crush your enemy totally all of the time.
Particularly in the tech world where it's very competitive and very cutthroat.
You don't think Google or Microsoft or Facebook don't operate by crush your enemy totally?
Come on, they do.
But you as an individual who's like a lawyer or an artist or a rock musician, you're not
going to crush your enemy totally, right?
Obviously.
Anybody who thinks that doesn't understand how to read a book, right?
It's context.
It's who you are.
So it could be just one law.
Always say less than necessary, not always spouting out about things.
Or it could be never outshine the master because I got fired several times for outshining the
master.
It was a very painful experience.
You know, at some point in your life, one law will save you from some misery, from some
painful experience.
One law will do it the trick for you.
And maybe over the course of your life, there'll be 12 or 16 of those laws. I don't know I can't put a number on it.
One of the human conditions that has always surprised me is that when you're
successful or something great happens to you, people are not happy for you. And
your book comes out and the New Yorker magazine caused you a total creep and you had a lot of haters.
So what was the reaction
when people started criticizing your book?
Did you care?
And how should people deal with the haters
when something good happens to them?
Well, you know what?
I didn't really have that experience.
It's the one time I have to correct you a little bit.
I think it was the New York magazine.
They had an article that called the book
Chicken Soup for the Soulless, right?
And I took that as kind of funny.
That was kind of a funny thing.
I was surprised that I didn't get as much criticism as I did, to be honest with you.
I was expecting a lot worse.
And the only people who were a little bit difficult or nasty or hard to deal with were friends, strangely enough. Because here they saw somebody who they knew as this guy who was just struggling
to get by, to pay his rent, who never really had any success,
and suddenly he's being interviewed on these television shows and
these magazines and newspapers are doing articles,
and envy came in and they weren't so nice to me anymore.
They were kind of mean-spirited.
So I had some of that from friends.
A lot of friends weren't like that.
But in general, people treated me with more respect than I actually deserved.
I didn't have to ever face a great deal of criticism.
And I'll tell you this, coming from a place where my life up till then was such a struggle,
you know, I mean, I'm not to exaggerate because there are people who had it worse.
There are always people that have it worse.
So I don't mean to be overly dramatic.
But I had struggled a lot through life.
So to have a couple of people criticize me for this, that, and the other, go away, I
don't care. It's like a mosquito on an elephant. It doesn't criticize me for this, that, and the other, oh, go away, I don't care.
It's like a mosquito on an elephant. It doesn't bother me at all, you know. I'd been through
already so much that it didn't matter. I had a pretty thick skin. What you say about friends is
just so true. I was young. I made all this money. I went to good schools. I did well. And there's a
certain competitiveness among people, whether it's outwardly or inwardly
subconsciously and when someone does really well, I mean I have friends investment bankers
and they're making the most money, the lawyers are kind of the second tier in terms of making
money but when one of your buds makes tons of money, it really, really, really affected
some of my closest friendships and you really find out who your friends were.
I remember walking through an investment bank and they separated the management part, the
money management part of the firm, through the bankers.
Investment bankers is what's known as a Chinese wall.
They can't talk to one another.
I remember one of the colleagues, one of my best friends said, you know, and it's a big deal.
You know, I'm 31 years old and we're, I'm at least on paper worth over a hundred million
dollars, hundreds of millions of dollars on paper.
And one of the guys who was an investment banker doing really well and said, and I'll
call him Jim Bob again.
So he said, Jim Bob's never gonna catch you.
I was, it's like someone hit me over the head with a hammer. And I thought gosh,
and I had to keep walking. We're having a conversation. And I remember thinking
that night as I sat around to it, why can't people be happy for you?
Well, I didn't understand what showed that he wasn't happy for you.
He was unhappy because he was envious.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, these guys were the top of the top. They went to Harvard and Stanford and Warren
and they're investment bankers.
Well, you know, look, I've written a lot about envy. In the 48 laws of power, never appear
too perfect. It's all about envy. And you appear too perfect you're going to attract envy like a magnet and you're going to suffer for it. In the laws of
human nature I have an entire chapter just devoted to envy and how what a prevalent human trait that
is. And first of all you have to understand that it's human nature, that we're built, our brains
are built through comparison. We compare information. That's're built, our brains are built through comparison. We
compare information. That's how intelligence, that's how our language
works, it's how the human brain has become what it is by comparing information.
As a social animal, we're also comparing ourselves constantly to other people.
It's ingrained, it's wired into our systems. So the point of my book, The Laws of Human Nature, is stop feeling so superior.
Stop feeling like, oh, they're envious.
I'm not.
There, he's a narcissist, but I'm not.
No, you all share that trait.
Everybody feels envy.
To this day, I still feel envy, but I'm able to confront it and realize that I have that
flaw and by understanding it, then I can be more compassionate to people but also I could
understand what I can do to deflect envy from other people. So maybe I'm not
criticizing you but maybe you were doing something that was making them feel that
you were kind of rubbing it into them a little bit. I never did that. You never
did that? Never. In fact I would never want to talk about the money. I was embarrassed almost, you know,
you have imposter syndrome, you know, you think at night,
I really, you deserve all this money.
I rewind, I take that back.
But a lot of people trigger envy
because they boast too much.
They want to display themselves to the world.
Look how great it is, look how wonderful my life is.
You're naturally gonna stir up envy, so it's your own fault sometimes. Right I mean we
built I built my dream house when I was 31 years old my friends were all
still living. Well they're they're in apartments you know they're in
apartments and but it was I mean it's almost embarrassing to have your friends
come over because they're looking at this house and it's spectacular.
And, you know, I remember talking with my wife at the time,
do we buy it or do we not buy it?
And this crazy thought would be,
are our friends gonna come visit us at the house?
Are they going to be envious?
Is it gonna be weird?
I gotta tell you, it was weird for a lot of people.
Very weird.
Yeah.
Understand that, understand that it's natural, it was weird for a lot of people. Yeah. Very weird. Yeah. Understand that.
Understand that it's natural.
It's human to feel that way and to kind of,
you know, don't take it personally.
We take too many things personally in life.
But I hurt.
Huh?
It can't not hurt.
Yeah.
But in some ways, I understand it.
You know, I understand it when people, like friends,
would kind of give bitchy passive
aggressive comments about my book.
They would say things like, well, Robert, you must be making a lot of money with that
book as if I wrote it just to make money, which is the case at all.
Right?
But they were trying to, it was a little subtle passive aggressive dig that they were getting
in there.
Right?
And I would get other digs like that.
And it just goes
off my back like that's what people are like, you know? That's the animal that we are. I'm not going
to take it seriously. Yeah, it hurts a little bit. I understand in the moment it hurts, but in the
days to come it doesn't bother me at all because I understand that's just how humans are wired.
Like so many people it takes years and years to become successful.
What was it like when it became a bestseller?
I compare it to Disneyland, where you have here in Anaheim, you have the Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
I went from like kind of living in this crummy one-bedroom apartment in Santa Monica,
to being jetted off to Italy and meeting the Prime Minister of it, former Prime
Minister of Italy. It was like Mr. Toad's wild ride. I was having, it was like being
on drugs. I was having a wonderful time. It was surreal. It was really surreal.
And I mentioned this Italian junket. It was probably the first, it was the first
press trip I took, I think, no, maybe the second, but it was like early 1999, and I'm invited to
Italy to the island of Capri to present my book.
And so, you know, sure, of course I'll do that.
And I'm suddenly like flying business class, which I've never flown before.
And I'm taken to this island, to this, if you ever been to Capri, it's one of the most beautiful.
We've been there, it's spectacular.
Spectacular.
Yep.
Very ritzy, very fancy.
Put up in the finest hotel.
And then the weirdest thing of all
is I'm walking around in my swimsuit,
the paparazzi are following me and taking photographs of me.
You know?
Like the contrast with where I was five months ago
in my smelly one-bedroom apartment
in Santa Monica where nobody would pay attention to me.
And suddenly paparazzi are photographing me in my swimsuit.
You know, it was shocking, it was surreal.
It was hard to understand the discrepancy and kind of, you know, make sense of it all.
But it was still a thrill and nothing will ever in my life,
you know, to the day I die will ever compare with that trip to Italy. It was so weird and I had
such a great time and it was so exciting. It was like endless thrills but it was also like
why all of a sudden am I getting this attention? Do I really deserve it?
It's kind of weird.
Did you have imposter syndrome?
A little bit, a little bit.
But you got over it.
Yeah, I mean, I had a sit down meeting
with the former prime minister of Italy
in the magnificent palace where he still had an office.
And he was considered the most Machiavellian politician in Italy's history.
He had a very kind of sketchy career.
And he'd written an article praising the 48 laws of power.
And here he was in an office, and he didn't speak much English.
And my Italian's a little bit weird.
So we was talking to each other in French, because I speak French pretty well.
I was sitting here talking in French in this magnificent gilded office in the palace
in Rome to this former prime minister bantering about power. Whoa, this is so weird. It's like I
was like I was on drugs or something. You're listening to part one of my incredible interview
with Robert Greene, a six-time New York Times bestselling author whose books include The 48
Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction and Mastery.
It's an incredible interview, very insightful and educational.
Can't wait for you to listen to it.
Be sure to tune in next week to part two of my incredible
interview with Robert.