In Your Pants with Dr. Susie G - Stop giving too many f*cks about pelvic pain

Episode Date: July 5, 2018

Throbbing. Burning. Pain with erections. Most men are afraid they won't get it up; you're afraid you will -- because it hurts down there. But never mind sex, you might even have trouble sitting down. Simple, everyday things like driving, working at your desk, or going to the bathroom have turned into Mt. Everest. You don't have to live like this. In today's In Your Pants episode, Ryan Cazares tells us how he stopped giving too many f*cks about pelvic pain and took his health by the reigns. Ryan and I met at my 6 Day Hands-On Training Program and the rest is history. Ryan gives you his top tips to help you navigate out of pelvic pain including his favorite reads, meditation apps and more. You don't want to miss this episode. If you've read this far, what are you waiting for? Press play.

You're listening to In Your Pants with Dr. Susie G, the physiotherapist for your private, helping you get in the know down below. Hey guys, it's Dr. Susie G and welcome to In Your Pants, a show where we let go of sexual stigmas and cultural taboos so that you can have a happy dance in your pants and live a healthy and freeing life. On today's show, I have optometrist, entrepreneur, and rock star, Dr. Ryan Cazares. Ryan was one of my six-day hands-on training participants. I've been since inspired by Ryan ever since I met him.

His passion, ambition, and dedication to himself and his community is something I've never seen before, and I'm humbled to have been a part of his journey. Ryan's got a special message to share with the world, and what better way to do this than to invite him on the show? We're going to chat about his journey navigating through pelvic pain. So without further ado, Ryan, welcome to the show. So happy to have this conversation with you. Yes, same here. It's been a while, doc. It has been a while and you've been pretty busy.

Yeah, I stay busy. I stay busy. That's right. That's right. So we're going to keep it super cash. I guess let's just start with, when did you start having these mysterious pelvic pain symptoms and what was going on in your life? This was this started in 2009. So it's been been over eight years. I remember pretty much the exact moment. Basically, I was in optometry school. So a lot, a lot, a lot of stress, a lot of studying, a lot of stress taking tests, a lot of expectations, you know, put on my shoulders. So I think, you know, a lot, a lot of the, the onset had to do with how much stress I was under. Yeah, this was back in 2009. And basically anytime I go to the restroom, basically it would just hurt to pee and it would be difficult to pee as well. So it's been going on for, for a long time now, but I'm happy to say I'm a lot better than then, of course. So, yeah. Woohoo! That's awesome. That's really, really awesome. And a really hopeful message to all the other guys and gals who are suffering with pelvic pain on a daily basis. So thank you for sharing. I ask this question to a lot of my patients, but what do you believe caused your pelvic pain? And you kind of mentioned that earlier about optometry school and stress,

but just curious if there's anything else you think created the perfect storm. Yeah, you mentioned Perfect Storm and that was in a book I read. Yeah, Pelvic Pain Explained. Yeah, I think there was a lot of things that contributed to it. You know, the number one was the stress I was under and not having my anxiety under control. So anxiety is something I've had trouble with even as a kid, early teenage years. I think that was the number one thing, not having that under control was the main cause. That being said, I was also taking medication for my anxiety that wasn't working. You know, side effects of anxiolytics can be difficulty urinating and bladder dysfunction. So I think that was a number two thing. Number three is in school, we're sitting in a classroom for hours and hours.

And then you go home and you study for hours and hours. So, you know, it was kind of a sedentary lifestyle for four years. You know, I did some exercising, but, you know, day to day, we were just sitting there studying and hearing lectures. And lastly, you know, I have some spinal and joint alignment issues. And I think although those are minor, I think some of that can kind of contribute to bladder dysfunction. Having my pelvis a little crooked and one leg a little longer than the other probably contributed a little bit to it. And what were some of your fears or worries that came up for you? Because I know a lot of guys and women that I work with, you know, it kind of creeps into their whole life, you know, relationships and career concerns and school concerns.

And what were some of those fears and worries that came up for you? Well, it was it was very, very distressing at that time because it was at a point in school where we just started seeing patients. So the worry I had was, you know, would I be able to get through an eye exam without having to go to the bathroom because I was going at least once an hour? And so that was a worry. The other worry was what is going on? I mean, I haven't done anything out of the ordinary and I wasn't I just couldn't find an answer to what the problem was, you know, what caused it. What is it? It was just really distressing not to know what the problem was and trying to find that out. And when did you finally were able to figure it out? It was about 2012, so it took at least three years and several different doctors to, I guess, probe, you know, probe around and figure out what the problem was.

You know, I found a doctor here in Lafayette, Louisiana, who did a urodynamic study on my bladder. And, you know, he pointed out to me that urine has difficulty exiting the bladder. He showed it, basically showed it to me. It was at that point when learning about the condition and knowing what the problem was that I felt like most of the pain just subsided. i guess just learning and educating myself on the on the cause um it was very interesting to see that pain and anxiety just kind of uh you know waste away whenever i was uh you know showing the diagnosis and the problem right right and you weren't no longer thinking you're crazy or people telling you it's all in your head because nothing is showing up you know and that could be quite frustrating and many you know who walk in the same in similar shoes feel the same way and and

just to have that safety of knowing like oh there's someone that is actually validating what i'm feeling and that there is something actually happening in my body that can be you know somewhat explained and um kind of takes the edge off right because prior to that point you know i had done you know cystoscopies and high bladder hydro distension and i just wasn't getting any answers. And like you said, it was almost as if I wouldn't go as far as to say the doctors didn't believe me, but they just weren't finding anything wrong and to actually see that there was a physical problem. I guess just to be able to point your finger at something was a huge relief. Now, if the guys out there that are not, for example, haven't had this experience where

they did find something, you know, what would you kind of advise to help them overcome? Because Sometimes it is, like we mentioned, a perfect storm and a culmination of different things. What if they're not having that, you know, oh, they found something, you know? Do you know what I mean? You know, it's hard to find the perfect words, I guess you could say. But, you know, just know that this is not something that's going to wreck your life. If you don't let it wreck your life, you can get it to a point where it's just a minor inconvenience. That's how I feel about it now.

It's just a minor inconvenience to me. It's not something I even really think that much about. I mean, of course, I do some stretching and self-care pretty much every day. But it's not something that's at the front of my mind at all anymore. So, you know, just know that there are people out there that can that can help you and that it's not something that can or should deter you from your goals in life. Right. Beautifully said. Yeah. You know, live the life that you want to live. You know, don't let it hold you back. So you've done a lot of work around helping yourself. And I'm curious to and the listeners, I'm sure, are curious of how did you kind of help yourself? what were the steps that you've taken you know what worked and what didn't work in your journey

well you know after the diagnosis like I mentioned probably the majority of the pain and anxiety just kind of left and so that was a huge turning point for me but you know after that you know visiting with my urologist and my first physical therapist we didn't seem to make a whole lot of headway Of course, I was just getting into the workforce, so it wasn't something I could concentrate on. So, you know, I kind of just blew it off for a few years. And, you know, after seeing some of your posts on social media, it just kind of occurred to me that, you know, it's time. But now that I'm established in my career, I feel like it's time I could take it's time I take care of myself. And so following your advice and my other physical therapist's advice, just stretching and trying to relax and meditate and just get it off of my mind has been really, really helpful.

I would say the one major thing that helps the most is just anything and everything mental meditation. I see a psychiatrist every couple of weeks. I feel like this condition is just as much mental as it is physical and you know if you can get that mental aspect of it under control which isn't easy but if you can then you know your life is just going to be so much easier yeah and you mentioned a lot of that in your I should tell the listeners you have a great blog called pain drain that talks about your story and and I love seeing your progress you're doing some wonderful things and you're really flourishing from since when I met you yeah before before our session I really only a handful of people knew I guess

of my struggles um you know my family and maybe a couple of friends I was really shy about it and and now I'm just really grateful that I've I've been able to actually help a few people um a few people have have reached out to me one even um goes to the university of houston where i went to optometry school and he i was able to find him a physical therapist in houston so i'm really glad i've been able to engage with some readers on one of my blog that's that's great and you share some of that too on your instagram page which is the pain drain as well and i encourage a lot of anyone who is struggling with pelvic pain to follow all of your stuff because it's it's truly an inspiration and it's very hopeful i mean you bring hope to the back to the table and recovery back to

the table which a lot of these guys and gals just don't see it a means to an end you know and uh so it's just beautiful what you're doing both for yourself and for the community so hats off to you ryan well thank you i appreciate it i appreciate it yeah you're very welcome well deserved, you know. So on that topic, you know, this might be a deeper question. And I think it is a valid one, too. But, you know, what, if anything, did pelvic pain teach you in life? I mean, and was there an underlying message for you? Yeah, I think that, you know, there's a couple of things. One is, you've got to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. You know, I've made it, you know, my life's mission

to help other people. You know, I'm an eye doctor. Day in and day out, I'm trying to help people see better. I'm trying to help people preserve their vision. But I can't do that if I myself am not healthy. So I feel like this was kind of like, just as I said earlier, a minor inconvenience to remind me to be healthy, to contribute to my own health. The other thing is I feel like everybody, you know, once once they've gotten to a certain age, I feel like everyone has had a struggle in their life and putting it out there in the open on my blog has been meaningful for my relationships with my friends.

Some of them have come up to me with problems not even related to pelvic pain, you know, past relationships or history of abuse and things like that. It's just being able to, I guess, be vulnerable and show people that, you know, that you can open up. What I've discovered is that almost everyone I know has had some significant struggle in their life. So it's been pretty interesting. Right. And that could be quite profound. you know, knowing that we're all in it for the struggle, right? Some might have different varying degrees of struggles, as you mentioned, you know, but knowing that we're not alone in the human struggle. And I suppose it's, you know, that pain or mental pain or physical pain

or pain in general, however that is defined by the person, right, is inevitable, but the suffering could be optional, right? Right, right. That's a great way to put it. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's, that's pretty profound, my friend. That's awesome. Um, so you, you've read a lot and I see on your Instagram, I totally skeeve on your Instagram and follow you, right? Like I'm your, I'm your like number one fan. Okay. So, um, I, uh, I see you read a lot of profound books too. Like I just, uh, listened to the audio book of the art the subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark manson which was recommended by you um pelvic pain explained is a fantastic read i do agree um and you've you've read um some other

books as well what uh what books or articles or apps would you recommend to someone like you have to read this if you're struggling with pelvic pain or or things that have kind of just transformed your mindset and the way of thinking in life in general? Well, the two pelvic pain books in particular that have been helpful, of course, are yours and as well as the Pelvic Pain Explained book. Those books are very... Yours is basically a how-to. It's basically like a workbook. I thought that was very helpful to have all those illustrations, whereas Pelvic Pain Explained was more of a you know scientific background you know this is why you're having these problems so i thought they kind of they kind of uh complement each other basically um as far as

you know other books yeah the the subtle art of not giving a fuck was probably one of my all-time favorite books really just finished it a few weeks ago it's kind of like uh you know you can relate it to anything but as it relates to pelvic pain you know he'll say you're just giving too many fucks about it stop giving so many stop giving so many fucks about it and just give your fucks to something else something else something else that matters more and something else that means more to your life so that's that's that's how i relate it to pelvic pain so i mean those would be a great three books to read in my opinion nice nice and I would recommend everyone who's listening to check out your your blog pain drain like I mentioned a couple minutes ago as well that is

a fantastic and inspirational and really I mean pretty much it's kind of like the timeline of a lot of guys that go through this you know and you talk about your cystoscopy experience and the probe right and all that sort of thing and it's just it's it's just kind of someone could relate to it and gives them hope that they're not alone too you know like you're saying we're all connected in in this world yeah absolutely so awesome uh what kind of meditation apps do you like so one you recommended during my sessions with you was was um insight timer and i like it because it's it's free you know the other ones calm and headspace are good too i've tried both of them And, you know, it's a subscription based, which is fine.

But I felt like the meditation on Insight Timer were just as good. So I really like that one. You know, you kind of have to dig around in it to find the ones that you like, because there are several sessions you can choose from. But, yeah, I found I found a good handful of sessions that I like, you know, usually do them, you know, in the evening. Yeah, I really like the Insight Timer app. That's a great app. That's awesome. Awesome. So tell us kind of like, so you mentioned you're doing a lot better now. What does that look like for you now versus what it looked like before? I would say when these symptoms started and before my diagnosis, you know, I would dread to go to the bathroom. And I'm sure that added to the severity of the symptoms.

You know, I'm hesitant to pee because it's going to hurt. and that adds even more hesitancy and probably more pain to the condition whereas now it hurts but like i don't even think about it like i said it's really a minor inconvenience and i would say if the pain was a nine or ten when it started it's more like a two or three now so it's and i have days that are better than others but i mean it really doesn't affect my life at all anymore I'd like it to be a hundred percent going someday. Maybe it will be, but it's just so much better now than it was, you know, when it first came up. That's awesome. And, and that's the key that it's so much better now and it's gradually getting better. Um, most guys, you know,

it's, it's frustrating cause they want it gone like yesterday. And I totally understand that. I mean, man, if anyone's ever had a urinary tract infection, so it's common for, for women, it fucking sucks like you're like take my damn bladder out you know like i do not want to be in your peeing blood i mean it's just bad and and shit you have one or two of those and you get a little something in your like a little pressure in your bladder like oh shit it's coming you know and you get so freaked out and it's not a uti but you're like psyching yourself out and your whole body goes into like a fight or flight stress response mode you know and just so counterproductive to just healing, you know, and kind of calming yourself down. So I totally understand that

impatience that one could have around, around pain, you know, totally understand. Um, but like you're saying, you know, it was a gradual like journey and you are so much better since you kind of took, taken matters into your own hands, no pun intended, but you did. And, uh, you've made some awesome progress, you know, going from like a 10 out of 10 to, you know, limiting your life and all that. And now you're, you know, freaking a rock star and got your own band and we'll talk more about that and having a couple of businesses and you're a doctor. I mean, you're rocking it and you're not letting pain slow you down. And, um, I do believe that eventually if you can change it a little, you can change it a lot and it will be gone. No, I agree. So cool beans, man. Cool

beans. So, uh, what advice, like in a nutshell, what advice would you give to a guy struggling with pelvic pain? I'd say, you know, the first thing you need to do is find, you know, an accredited physical therapist. They can lead you in the right direction. And maybe that's not the conventional thing to do. Maybe you're used to going to your doctor first or your urologist first. And you should, you should go to them. But consider asking your physical therapist to basically lead the way and coordinate the care that you're going to get. I feel like they're in the best position to address the issues that you have. The other thing I would say is that, you know, if you have any type of anxiety over this or just general anxiety, if you can get that

under control, this condition is just going to be so much easier to handle. You know, I was on a medication that really wasn't working in optometry school, but I really didn't even think about it. I mean, I was under so much stress. I just didn't think that my anxiety was, I didn't even think about controlling it better. I just thought, you know, this is normal. I'm a student. I've got eight tests this week. So if you have some type of anxiety problem and you can get that under control whether it's through you know cognitive behavioral therapy or medication or both you know do that and in I think you can get these these worries and this this problem under better control yeah that's great great advice and I like that you're hitting the mental aspect of it you know

the psychological aspect of it because mental resilience is huge for physical resilience you know, nothing to be ashamed about either. You know, that's another thing. I mean, I've been through the gamut too. And you think you kind of like, you know, when I was younger, I would always think like, wow, people are going to think I'm crazy or something's wrong with me. You know, we always have these pictures of ourselves and what other people are thinking about us. And we're giving way too many fucks about that. Then what's really happening, right? I mean, all right so don't be shy to ask for help um mental mental health is is key without that you know the healing your body is is going to be difficult like you said so right exactly yeah

um awesome well ryan thank you so much and i know you're busy so tell tell us and the listeners like what are you up to these days and how can people follow you connect with you sure sure so of course the number one thing I'd like you guys to do is visit my blog paindreamblog.com I've got up to maybe 37 or so entries you know it basically

details from the start of the symptoms and I'm not there yet but eventually I'll get to the present day and also looking to kind of format it for you know a book as well in the future. Alright

so there's that But as far as, you know, non-toxic things, I've got my own business here in Louisiana. I have an optometry clinic. So we just celebrated four years this summer. Wow. I've got two doctors now. I've got a staff, a pretty big staff. Things are going pretty well here.

Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. Appreciate that. And, you know, as far as outside of work, I've got an interesting community project I'm working on. I'm a musician. I've played in several bands over the years. I play in a band now called Dr. C and the Grigri. And we, you know, we play like rock music. We've got a record coming out February or March.

So we've got that done. But back to the community project, you know, music, music is something that's important to me. And I kind of came up with this idea of what if we had a library for musical instruments? Wouldn't it be cool to be able to check out a musical instrument without, you know, the huge burden, the huge cost burden? Because, you know, I feel like there's so many people that want to try an instrument. but you know i don't want to shell out six seven hundred dollars for it so you know i came up with this what we call the library the musical instrument uh library and you know we're still working on it but we received some funding from some community investors uh we've raised about

eight thousand dollars for it we've uh got about nine instruments donated so far and we're hoping going to launch it at the the local library um next year and you will literally just need a library card maybe sign a waiver to be able to check out an instrument you know no promises yet but we're looking to incorporate like online lessons for um you know people that check out the instruments so it's really coming around full circle it's just an idea i came up with one day and it's come a long way and uh and the community has been very supportive of it It's a music capital here. I know people think of New Orleans as Louisiana's music capital, but I'd argue that it's here in Lafayette. There's just a lot, a lot of good music here. And I feel like this would be a good benefit for the community here. absolutely ryan it's brilliant and i remember you even talking to me about it when you're here

way back um about this idea and look how far it's already come so can you do you think you'll be able to share i'll get the links from you and i can i can share that on on our podcast notes so people can follow and and check your new record coming out that's awesome you're like i mean you're truly an inspiration i kid you not so it's an honor to be able to know you yeah i'm not yeah no understatement seriously um yeah so a pleasure honestly you're an outstanding human being and a great soul and i i appreciate you and your courage to talk about your story connect with others who have the same struggles or similar struggles or struggles in life in general and i can't thank you enough for doing this and taking time out of your day

for being and being here on the show with me today so thank you oh absolutely thank you for doing what you do thank you very much ryan guys thanks for listening to the show and as always in loving wellness for your pelvis this is dr suzy g until next time my friends i'll see you later thanks for listening to today's episode be sure to head on over to dr suzy g.com where you can get more information show notes and related articles on today's topic also if you like what you're hearing, head on over to iTunes, subscribe to the podcast, and leave us a rating and review. We'd love to hear your feedback. Thanks again.